A/N: I'm back! I wrote a fuck ton while I was in the hospital (did I mention I was in the hospital? I guess I'll get to that loll) but the public wifi for some reason wouldn't let me post chapters. Even right now I have to use FireFox because apparently my Chrome hates me and refuses to let me update it! Hooray!

So, hospital. Welp I was pregnant and at 27 weeks my water spontaneously broke. I had to spend seven weeks in the hospital before they could safely induce me at 34 weeks. It sucked being away from home, but now my husband and I have the cutest little boy and we are awaiting him to come home from the NICU. All that's left for him to accomplish is to take all feedings by bottle and he's getting better at that every day!

Now today I finally have some time to myself (been visiting the NICU and cleaning and preparing all our baby stuff) so get ready for an onslaught of chapters!

xoxo
Kuraki-chan

26: Please Forgive Me for What I'm About to Do.

Katia watched her human descendant writhe and toss and turn in the motel bed for just over an hour. She contemplated taking just a peek into Zarya's head to see what had her so flustered and distraught but she swore to never invade someone's privacy like that again. As she sat at the table with Zarya's laptop and a cup of coffee from the little coffee maker in the room, she slid something from her own small, black bag - a gold locket. She traced her thumb over the delicate engraved pattern in the metal before clicking it open. Two very old photos were stuck to each half inside; a black and white of Zina on the left, and Nova on the right. Katia closed the locket and hid it back away just before Zarya shot up in the bed with sweat running down her forehead.

"Are you alright?" the dhampir asked quietly and curtly before getting Zarya a bottle of water from the mini fridge.

She gratefully drank half of the bottle in one go before shaking her head and swinging her legs off the side of the bed. "Nope. And I am absolutely not going back to sleep either. Let's get some caffeine and hit the road. How far are we from Whitmore?"

Must have been a pretty bad dream then, Katia thought as she packed up the laptop. "If we head straight there within the hour we should make it just after dawn. You barely slept an hour and a half, Zarya. Are you certain you're ready for this?"

Zarya chuckled humorlessly. Her hand was scratching and rubbing her forearm whether she noticed or not. Blue eyes haunted her relentlessly even while awake. "I need to keep my mind off whatever the fuck my mind just tried terrorizing me with so yes I am ready to go. There's a gas station about a mile back so I can fill the tank and grab like five Monsters and or Venoms."

Katia's nose scrunched up. "I've tried both of those drinks and they are awful. Surely you're rotting your insides."

"Yeah, well, I do with just about everything else so fuck it, right?" She half grinned and they walked out the door.

At first it wasn't terribly difficult for Zarya to block out the unyielding dream. They made it to the gas station, stocked up on snacks and energy drinks, and hit the road towards Virginia. As her mind started to vacantly wander, Zarya drifted back to her dream. Katia could tell something had started to bother her but waited patiently for when the time was right. Zarya would twitch periodically, as if she heard something she didn't quite like.

"Dean Winchester shot a gun called the Colt in an attempt to kill me. All it did was kill the human soul inside."

"How can I live any sort of a normal life knowing this kind of shit exists? Knowing that there's some deep, dark family secret that could get me killed? Knowing that I can't hold a relationship with a decent human being because I'm meant to be with the fucking archangel Lucifer? Knowing that he's trapped in Hell like some caged animal when he should at least have his dumb ass on the throne? What the fuck is normal about any of that? I certainly can't go back to Pike Creek or the diner."

"This is where the Winchesters want to put me again. Away from you. I can't protect you from here, Rya. I need you as much as you need me."

"Nick could have had you at any point in your lives and he was foolish enough not to because he was human. Too weak to be able to protect you, handle you. That's where he and I differ."

"Please don't cry, Rya."

"Lucifer will never rest until he finds her. He will seek her out until the end of time. Whether she says yes or no to Remiel, I honestly don't think he bloody gives a damn anymore. And he'll enjoy ripping her from you the most."

"They aren't coming to save you this time, Rya."

"Dean Winchester was quite wrong. You are mine, Rya. I'll tear your sweet Dean's heart from his chest if he dares think otherwise."

"Talk to me, Katia," Zarya spoke quickly to break the silence in the car. "About anything, I don't give a damn. Just keep my mind occupied please."

"Okay," the dhampir nodded slowly, glancing at the driver from the corner of her dark eyes. "Do you have a plan for rescuing Nova in mind?" When Zarya failed to answer but instead her lips started pulling towards a guilty grin, Katia sweatdropped. "You don't… Alright." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "We are literally a few hours away, Z; what the hell did you hope to do - bust into the campus with guns blazing and demand to know about where they're hiding a vampire they bought from a nephilim-vamp?"

"Well, no, of course not," she scratched the back of her head awkwardly. "It's still a human oriented school. Or at least it's supposed to be." She rolled her eyes. "We can't just pop in as FBI like Sam and Dean usually do 'cause everytime they do there's already a body. We're trying to rescue an undead one." She paused and blew some of her hair out of her face with a realization. "Wow, I'm a pretty shitty hunter."

Katia laughed lightly. "I guess all the Vasiles needed to tip this Jenga tower over was you."

"Pfftt, right? Everyone had their own rocks to hide under before I apparently got cast as a main character."

"All you can do now is make the best of what you're handed. Unfortunately the Vasiles are notorious for being dealt the worst hands and making horrendous decisions with them."

Somehow, someway, for some reason that sparked the most insane idea in Zarya's head. She slammed the breaks before running a red light and turned to her passenger with big eyes. "That's it!"

Katia blinked a couple of times. "Wh-what exactly?" Her mind really does work in strange ways, doesn't it?

The light turned green and the de Ville was off again. "Looks at us - you and me."

"What about us?"

"Vasiles share similar traits, don't we? Crazy, dark hair, some kind of dark or vibrant eyes that makes people do a double take, the way our faces and bodies are shaped; it's a slightly more diverse line than doppelgangers."

The dhampir's onyx eyes were widening with each bit of Zarya's tangent as she caught on. "You're insane."

"Hear me out-"

"I can put the pieces together, Zarya. It's far too outrageous because Nova has been a vampire since 1866. Her humanity has been off for an already extended period of time, she has lost herself to addiction and murder, and - no offense - but anyone can see that you're human and she's not. She makes it so painfully obvious I don't understand how no one catches on."

"I can make myself look like her, you can trust me on that. Some flashy clothes, and fancy makeup I can manage."

"And the fact that you're human? Nova Vasile does not carry around a revolver and she has super speed and strength. I'm also… not certain you could walk well in heels…"

Zarya sweatdropped that time. "Do you have a better plan then, oh psychic one? Because so help me I will go in this blind just to blow some steam."

Katia caught her that time rubbing her arm for a moment. She watched Zarya realize she had been doing it and force herself to stop. They were silent for a couple of minutes while the dhampir thought, but she didn't want to leave Zarya in her mind for too long nor could she think of literally any other plan. She heaved a sigh and took out her phone. "Alright, fine, but we're going to need some extra help on this if you're going to pull off being Nova Vasile to rescue Nova Vasile."

"Who's gonna help me be a vamp without actually turning into a vamp?"

"Someone who owes me a favor."

"Okay, so what? We track him down to Ohio and then what?" Sam chastised as he and Dean walked into the bunker.

"I'll do what I have to do," Dean replied curtly as he took a shotgun off the wall from his bedroom. "I'll kill Cain."

"You'll what?"

"When he gave me the Mark, Cain said that this day would come. That after I killed Abaddon I would have to come and put him down."

"Great. So you're taking orders from a madman."

"No, he wasn't mad then. Cain resisted the Mark for a long time. Then I came kicking up trouble about the blade. I sent him down this path. This is on me."

As Sam watched his brother pack furiously he realized the truth to Dean's words. "You mean you feel guilty for sending Zarya down this path and you're hoping killing Cain will at least save her. That doesn't mean you have to be the one to go after him."

Dean stopped suddenly with his back to his brother. He didn't even hear Castiel walk up and join them. He acknowledged that Zarya's room was directly next door and empty once again. "Yes it does," they just barely heard his voice crack. "And there's only one thing that can kill him."

"Dean…" Cas spoke softly with concern.

Sam looked between the two of them for a moment before remaining back on his brother. "Dean, wielding the Blade against Cain himself… win or lose, you may never come back from that fight."

He put his hand over the Mark that resided at the hem of his rolled up flannel sleeve. "I know."

The hazel eyed brother couldn't actually believe what he was hearing. "Have you even thought about Zarya?" He exclaimed suddenly. "You really want her to lose you again? She didn't even give a damn that you had returned as a Knight of Hell just because she missed you! I mean… did you see or hear her before you were dead-dead? Because I did, Dean. I saw the sheer agony in her eyes and, to be honest, the wail she let out? It still haunts me to this day. I have never seen heartbreak like that until Zarya lost you. Go ahead, though. See how she reacts this time."

Dean was seemingly calm and too quiet for too long after listening to his brother's rant. Finally something snapped in him too and he spun around with a deeply rooted pain in his olive eyes. "I need to do this for Zare, Sammy! When I was a demon, I was the one who pulled her right into the darkness! Me! I got her wasted all day every day, we slept together, and when the Mark started to present itself on her I made her fucking feed it. I made her kill. I made her take the Mark from Saskia. And I'm gonna be the one to keep her alive, human, and nothing like her psychotic, monster ancestors."

Sam stared unwaveringly at his brother. "Then stop trying to get rid of yourself for her sake and start fighting to rise above everything like she does every damn day. She looks to us with the hope that we'll do something good for this world. Look to her with the hope to overcome everything and still make it out on top."

Dean wanted to do just that. He really, truly did. Instead, a dry scoff escaped his lips. "Hope… isn't that what got everyone into this mess to begin with?"

Zarya and Katia met her at an abandoned manor in a small town just entering Virginia on the border of Kentucky. Zarya stared up at her with her jaw slightly agape; was she taller than Sam? Was it just the heels? Did all Vasiles wear heels? Slyly and slowly her eyes wandered down to the dhampir's feet beside her. She resisted the urge to let out a relieved sigh when she saw Katia wearing ballet flats. Just when she thought she knew enough about the Vasiles some other asinine secrets came out from under their rocks.

"No," the Russian accented Sofia Vasile answered finally and icily. As much as she longed to mouth off to Sofia, Zarya opted to keep her mouth shut that time. The woman was who the hell knew how old, ridiculously tall, and had the scariest blue eyes she was perfectly content walking away from.

"Terribly sorry, bratovchedka (cousin)," Katia replied as curtly as she always seemed to, "but you still owe me for that thing that one time…" She smiled sweetly up at the elder creature with her hands clasped behind her back.

"Then come to me with a request I care about. I would much prefer to watch this faulted kingdom fall."

"Then it's gonna take you down too," Zarya finally snapped back. "I have to do this, Sofia. Please."

She looked Zarya up and down for the first time since the two arrived. She had heard mutterings about little human Zarya Vasile running amuck hunting and getting caught up by Lucifer. The girl had more fight than even the rumors gave her. "You have guts, kid. I can see that. And do you want to know where those guts are going to end up? Probably wrapped around your corpse and strung up to a tree. I have seen three and a half centuries of lies, murder, and secrets. There is only one God, and his name is Death. That is all we have to look forward to."

Zarya's jaw set as her fists balled. Her blood was starting to boil. Why was everyone with immortality so fucking afraid to fight? Why did they all turn tail and hide in the darkness? "Well there's only one thing I've ever said to Death and I'll continue saying: not today." Sofia's eyes actually widened. "You've got three and a half centuries under your belt yet here you are rolling over with your tail between your legs like some scared animal! If you've got some kind of expertise then we would gratefully like for you to use it, dammit!"

Katia's lips had pulled back with uncertainty about how the elder vampire would react to Zarya's boldness. Her eyes darted between the two cautiously. Sofia's brows raised curiously before she crossed her arms over her chest. Her foot tapped a couple of times as she stared the young hunter down, expecting her to back down and retreat. She couldn't say she was terribly surprised that Zarya was unyielding. You attracted the devil to yourself quite easily then kid, she thought.

"Fine," she huffed at last. "Then do not bore me and listen to each word I tell you as if it was gospel or this will not work. Can you manage that with your recklessness?"

Zarya grinned and cracked her knuckles. "My recklessness should be what keeps you entertained."

"You're positive you want to do this?" Katia asked as they sat the hunter in a chair. Sofia pulled her hair over the back of the chair and began finger brushing it with her long nails.

She puffed out her cheeks then let out the air held in them before nodding. "Doppelganger me into Nova freakin' Vasile."

"The physical attributes are simple enough," Sofia explained, "but the supernatural ones are going to require finesse."

"What kind of finesse?" Katia inquired.

"Well, you have to make these people believe it's Nova Vasile freed from her restraints coming for retribution, yes? That will require some rather believable, albeit questionable, techniques."

"Where's the point, Sofia?" Zarya chimed in with mild concern.

"I'm going to have to seemingly turn you for a little while."

Both Zarya and Katia's eyes widened.

With the First Blade nearly in hand and the home of Austin Reynolds growing nearer and nearer, Sam sent a longingly hopeful text to a number that had been Katia's at least at one point. He then turned to his brother. "Do you think Zarya is alright with Katia?"

Dean was quiet for a long minute before answering. "We both know that Zare is fully capable of kicking ass when she needs to."

"Yeah, but what happens when she can't and we aren't there? We only got lucky when Remiel and Lucifer were attacking her mind because of Cas and Hannah. We never would have made it to her in time."

"Are you trying to strike up this conversation because you feel some type of way or because you're still trying to convince me not to take on Cain?"

"Can you just think for two minutes, Dean? Everything Zarya has survived, endured, and fought was because of and for us. When she lost her way without Nick, what did she turn to? Hunting. Why? Because she saw us doing it. Because she knows the truth of the world. Because she doesn't want us to die alone out there."

"Oh yeah? She say all that to you?"

"You know exactly what she said to me, don't you?"

Dean stiffened suddenly, his grip on the wheel tightening. Not once did he look over at his brother. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"After we rescued Clarke from Lucifer, and I was talking to her in the kitchen in the middle of the night, her back was to the doorway. Not mine. I saw your shadow get closer then duck to the side before your footsteps went back to your room. I know you heard her tell me that she fell in love with you."

The Impala parked on the side of a quiet road. Most of the few homes were ranch houses with decent sized fields and barns. The Reynolds in particular had a large barn on their property. Still Dean did not look to his brother. His green eyes remained fixated on the dark street, one hand still on the wheel before he shut off the engine. "As much as I'm sure we would all love for it to work out like some sappy romance movie, it's just not Sammy. She knows it, I know it; it's time for you to realize it too. We just do what we have to do 'till we end up dead."