My hands were fucking killing me on the plane ride to Montana. I was glad that my dad and I had somewhat resolved a part of our fucked up relationship. And I was glad that I finally told Marco. Even though I didnt feel guilty about not saying anything, it was still a huge weight off of my shoulders. Pun intended. And my car. My parents said they'd hire some people to drive it back to Coirtney so I could just leave it at home for now. Anyways. I didnt have any pain killers and my hands were just dying. "God my hands are fucking killing me..." I mumbled. Marco was awake this time, susprisingly. He thought he'd try staying up for this trip. He looked at me, eyebrows knitted together, "I'm sorry... Here..." Then he held a hand out to me. I placed my left hand in his'. He started gently unwrapping the guaze and I hissed it pain. "I know..." He said, "We need to change this guaze, Jean... That's why it's hurting. We'll do it when we get to my parent's house, okay?" I nodded a bit and Marco re-wrapped my hand. "I cant believe how much damage you did to that room..." Marco said. I nodded, "I know... I felt pretty bad afterwards, too..." Marco sighed softly and leaned in, kissing my cheek, "It's okay..." I smiled a bit. "Can I ask you something?" He said. "You just did." He smirked and rolled his eyes and I half smiled, "Yeha you can." "How much weight have you gained since this began this year?" He asked, his expression going serious. "Like... 11 pounds." I said, shrugging, "I'm around 121 now." Marco nodded. "How much do you weight, Marco?" Marco smiled a bit, "I'm in the 154-157 zone. Somewhere in there." "Wait really?" I asked. He nodded, raising an eyebrow. "Why?" He asked. "I dont know... I guess my image of bodies is distorted because... Damn. I need to do some thinking." Marco laughed softly, "Did you think I was buffer?" He asked, flexing. "I still think you are." I said, squeezing his bicep. He smirked, "Well thank you. I'm going to start going to the gym when we get back. I havent gotton any excercise since I stopped ballet last year. I'm pretty out of shape." I nodded, "Yeah. Good idea." I sighed, "The most exercise I'm allowed to do is go for a walk. And I havent done that yet." Marco nodded, knitting his eyebrows together, "I'm sorry, honey." "Dont pity me." I said jokingly. He raised his eyebrows, "I'm not! I'm not." I smirked, "I'm joking around. Relax. And it's not your fault." Marco sighed with releif. "Okay..." He said, "I dont know how sensitive you are." I smirked, "As long as you arent a complete douchefuck, it's fine." Marco laughed softly and nodded. Marco's parents were awesome, as always. And Marco's mom said she was doing fine with the baby so far. But I knew when Marco told them about my weight problem because they started asking me at all meals if I wanted anymore food and they'd randomly ask me if I wanted a snack in the middle of the afternoon or morning. I didnt mind it, honestly. They were sweet. But I let them know that it wasnt necessary. We got back to Coirtney on Sunday night and my guaze had been changed more than twice. The wounds still werent doing very well. It would be a while until they healed, for sure.
On the Monday back, we had to turn in our Spring Break assignments and when I placed them on the front table, Pixis asked me what I did to my hands. Then everyone started asking before I could even respond to Pixis. I shrugged and headed back to the table with Marco. I didnt want to talk about it, really. Though it was resolved, it still wasnt an awesome memory. I'd been horrified the whole fucking time and unable to control myself. Marco just smile sympatheically at me. My long time friends didnt look amused, though. I'd tell them soon. "Jean, can you come here?" Pixis asked after a few moments. I stood and walked over. He was looking through my Spring Break sketches and had his eyebrows narrowed. "What's up?" I asked. "Have a seat." He said. I pulled up a stool and sat down. "So. I was just looking at this picture." He said, clicking at his computer and bringing up a picture of a lake with a bench in front of it and trees around it, "And I thought it looked suspiciously like this..." He finished, sliding one of my assignments towards me. I looked at the sketch and at the picture. They were really identical. "Well..." I said, "And?" "Jean. I hope you didn't plagiarize." I spluttered, shocked, "W-What? No! I wouldnt-! What?" Pixis just looked at me. "Sir I'd never do that." "I dont know, Jean." He was doubting me. "Hah?" "You havent been the most trustworthy student this year. You've broken people's work. You've yelled while people were giving speeches about their work, you've thrown things. I dont know what to believe." I felt my jaw drop. "W-What? But-! I've been here for two years! My other teachers arent complaining and they never have! You have to believe me. I'd never plagiarize anything. Never have. Never will." Pixis looked between the picture and my work, "Jean it's identical. I scanned your work. I scan everyone's work. And this picture came up on Google." I was about to freak out. "But I didnt do that." I said. This was something I really cared about: Art. If I got kicked out of this school, I'd have nowhere else to go. I would be done. "Jean. How do I know?" "You have to trust me." "What's happening?" I suddenly heard behind me. I turned a bit. Marco. I didnt recognize his voice. He looked really serious. "Jean claims he didn't plagiarize this sketch but I found this online after scanning the sketch." Pixis explained, pointing at the computer screen. "I was with Jean when he drew that." Marco said, "He couldnt have copied anything. I watched him begin and finish that sketch. This was of a park lake in Montana, where my parents live. I did one of it, too." Pixis opened Marco's envelope and pulled his out, looking through them. I felt Marco's hands on my shoulders and I sighed. Marco had to be able to take care of it. Pixis pulled out a sketch that Marco'd done of the same lake. "See?" Marco said, "That's the same lake, sir." Pixis nodded, "It is. But... Arent you slightly biased, Marco?" He asked. "I... Erm... Sir. I would never. I was in that national competition, remember? Erwin trusts me and didnt you scan mine? And it passed?" Pixis nodded, "Yes. But... Still. I'm not sure. Was anyone else with you? I need another opinion." "Yes. I do, sir. They can come down here if you need that." Marco said. Mina, Hitch, and Thomas had been with us when we'd drawn those. "That would be preferable. I'm not going to grade any of your sketches until it's proven to me that this hasnt been plagiarized. Both of you." He said. "I understand, sir." Marco replied, "They'll be down here soon." I sighed shakily. "Hey... It's alright..." Marco soothed, rubbing my shoulders. "Fuck..." I breathed, standing up and leaving to go to the bathroom. I was a fucking pussy bitch. But I was horrified. Just the thought of being kicked out.. I went into the bathroom, taking a deep breath and splashing water on my face to startle myself back into reality. I jumped a bit, wiping off my face. Everything was alright. Nothing bad was gonna happen. It was okay. The door opened then, and Marco came in, looking extremely worried. "Are you okay?" He said, coming over and hugging me close. I hugged him back and nodded, "Just startled, is all. Need a moment to get my cool..." Marco nodded, too. "Hey... I'm going to call Mina. She can come here quickly from Texas. She's got some money, okay...? He'll trust someone who came straight from Mattheius... Pixis is just weird, okay? He needs a third party. That's all." I sighed shakily and he just held me closer. "I'm fucking spineless, Marco..." I said. "Shh..." He hushed, "Dont say that... You arent... It was really random... I probably would have fainted if that happened to me... It'll all be okay... Relax..." "I need to stop burdening you... You got in trouble, too... Now you might be kicked out, too... You dont need this shit... You've worked too hard..." I said. Marco sighed, cupping my face in his hands and frowning, locking eyes with me, "Stop. It." He said seriously. I spluttered a bit. "I'm serious, Jean. Stop. You're so important to me, okay? You're amazing and perfect and I love you and any problems you have, are mine. That's how dating works. You love someone so much that you will take the bullet for or with them, Jean. Now dont feel bad, okay? Dont do it. I will walk into the sun for you." I couldnt help but smile and Marco smiled back, nuzzling his nose against mine. "You're so sweet..." I said. He kissed me breifly, pulling me close to him by my waist. I grinned and wrapped my arms around his neck, resting my forhead against his'. "I love you..." I said. Marco smiled, "I love you, too, Jean..." Mina came that Friday and her, Marco, and I had a meeting with Pixis. She showed him photos of the lake that she'd taken and ones of her as a little girl with her family to prove that she'd not just taken the photos off the internet. And that did it. He graded our sketches and Mina went back to Texas. I was really glad that Marco knew how to take care of these things. "What the fucking shit would I do without you, Marco?" I asked him when the meeting was over. Marco just laughed and kissed my cheek.
Marco had told me not think like this, but I didnt fucking deserve him... He was so perfect and I was actually considering breaking up with him so he could find someone better but he'd never let me. We were all hanging out in the commons room that Sunday. I say "all." I really mean Eren's group and Connie and Sasha. And Marco, obviously. At this point, the words "I" and "me" meant myself and Marco. "So what happened over the break that we didnt hear about, Jean?" Connie asked me, sitting on the floor with Sasha. "Oh yeah. Tell us." Armin said. I smirked softly, "Yeah... Erm. So. I told my dad that Marco and I were dating he didnt like it blahblah. Then my mom showed some baby photos of me to Marco and I told him about the weight thing. Then my dad wanted to talk to me and I freaked out and broke some stuff in my room. Hence the hands. Then my dad said that he'd learn to live with Marco and me being together. So. Yeah." My friends just stared at me and I shrugged. "What the Hell, Jean?" Eren asked, "You're so calm." I smirked, "Whatever... Everything's okay." "I'm surprised you didnt tell us!" Sasha said. I chuckled softly, "Guys... Marco was there. I was alright." I looked at my boyfriend and he smiled at me. "What did you break that made your hands need to be wrapped in guaze?" Armin asked. "My glass mirror door closet." I said. "You punched it?" Sasha exclaimed. "Yeah." I replied, "What else did I break?" I asked Marco. "Uhm..." Marco replied, thinking, "Two vases, the potted plant, you knocked over the dresser, and the fan. And I had to break the door to get in." "What the fucccckk?" Eren said. "I've done that before. Remember last year when I was forced to go to that stupid fucking company party by my dad when we were in the middle of an assignment?" I asked. "What happened?" Marco asked. "I broke three people's pots and the handle on the sink in Pixis' classroom." I said. "Yeah. I almost killed you for that. I needed to avenge my pot." Eren said. "Why would you say the word avenge?" I asked, groaning. Eren looked confused. "Avengers 2 is happening!" Marco exclaimed. "Oh." Eren said, laughing. "We-We know, honey." I said, patting Marco's head. Marco just smirked at me. I ran my hand through his hair, "You need a haircut." I said. "I know. I'll schedual an appointment soon." He replied. "You also need a shave." I said, poking his growing stubble. He just shrugged. "I dont mind the incoming beard, though!" Sasha said. "Me neither." Mikasa said. "Well you're girls so your opinions dont matter." "Wow!" Connie said, "Sexist." I felt my face get hot, "No! That's not what I meant! I meant that it doesnt matter because Marco isnt trying to impress girls!" "We know, Jean." Marco said, pulling me closer to him and smiling. I sighed and pushed the back of Connie's head with my bare foot. "Ew!" Connie exclaimed, jerking away. "And their opinions do matter." Marco finished. "I know! I was joking! Oh my God..." I said, pinching the bridge of my nose, "Sometimes I feel like I'm just all by myself in this fucking world..." "Hey. No you arent." Marco said, kissing my cheek. "You didnt even know I was joking, Marco." "All I can do is try." He said, smiling. Ugh. I sighed, "Whatever. Anyways. You should let me cut your hair." "W-What? Erm... No thanks." He said, smiling nervously. "What? You dont trust me?" "It's not that... I just dont want you doing anything crazy..." I smirked, "I'm not gonna shave it all off. Jesus. You should trust me, though, it would look good." Marco sighed, "Jean..." "Jean's actually really good at cutting hair, Marco. He's cut a lot of people's hair here and in highschool." Armin said, "I'd trust him." Marco sighed, contemplating. "... Okay. Okay, Jean." He finally said. "Yes!" I exclaimed, punching a fist in the air. Marco smirked. "Let me cut this too." I said, grabbing his chin and looking at his stubble. "Do you really not like it?" He asked. I actually thought it was sexy as Hell... I just didnt want to tell him because I was stubborn. But I guess I had to now that he was seriously asking. "I think it's fucking hot." I said. "Woah!" Eren exclaimed. And all my friends turned around in shock at my random bluntness. Marco spluttered and his face turned red. "You were talking like you hated it!" Sasha exclaimed. "Naw. I just didnt wanna say I liked it because I didnt want Marco to be like 'Told you you'd like it.'" Marco laughed softly, "Aww. Jean. No. I'm not going to say that." I half smiled, "Thanks. And, yeah, I really like it a lot, Marco." Marco grinned, "I'm glad! I was actually starting to become afraid that you wouldnt like it." He said. I grinned. Then I was reminded about something, "Hey! Speaking of liking something! Your fucking fans were asking where you were when you were sick a couple weeks ago." Marco looked confused, "My... 'Fans?'" He asked. "Yes!" Connie exclaimed, pointing at me in order to show that he agreed with me, "He's right! Everyone was asking us where you were!" Marco laughed, "Really? That's... Weird." "How do you know so many people?" I asked. "Erm... I dont." Marco said, "That's why it's weird... I mean, I say hi to people during breakfast and during the day. Sometimes it sparks a coversation. But other than that, I dont really talk to anyone except people in our class and a couple photography students." I sighed, "Marco. Everyone thinks you're fucking amazing and perfect. Including me. And they idolize you." "W-What?! Why?!" He exclaimed. "Because you are. Your art is amazing, you came from Mattheius, you're gorgeous, you can spark conversation easily, and you're so nice. That's why." Marco groaned in response, "But... No... I dont want that. That's... No no. I dont like it..." "I can give you a weirdo make over." I said, smirking, "I never get talked to." He smirked, "Hush. And I dont even get why people are so interesting in me. It's kind of creepy..." I shrugged, "It's kinda weird but I'd use it to my advantage. You basically have an army." Marco just sighed and shook his head. "I dont like it..." He said. "Which photography students do you talk to?" Mikasa asked. "Franz and Hannah, mostly." He replied. "Oh my God they're so cute!" Sasha exclaimed. Marco laughed. I didnt know who those people were. I shrugged. "Franz and Hannah are photography majors and they're the cutest couple ever!" Sasha explained. I nodded, "Oh. I see." "They keep asking if I would introduce them to you, Jean." Marco suddenly said. I looked at him, narrowing my eyebrows, "Hah?" Marco was smiling. I was quiet. "... What the fuck does that look mean?" "It means they want to take pictures of you, Jean." He said. I sputtered, "What? The-The fuck?! Why?" "I'll take you to talk with them during lunch." He said. "Gah! What?! Fuck that!" I exclaimed. "You should go, dude!" Connie said. I was screaming internally. "No!" I said. Marco pulled me close to him, nuzzling his face into my neck. "Why should I?" I asked. "Because it'll help your confidence levels go up." Marco said, "It could really help. They said that since you've been looking more and more healthy, they want to shoot pictures of you." I felt my face get hot. Shit... I was actually iflattered... But I shook my head. "Will you at least meet them?" Marco asked. I nodded, "Sure..." "Thank you..." Marco replied.
So, we ate, then we went to the photography department of the college campus. I sighed, squeezing Marco's hand, as we went into the class building. I wasnt scared. I was just fucking confused and nervous. I was not the most attractive person so this was just... Baffling to me. Marco squeezed my hand back and we went into a classroom full of computers, cameras, wires, and other things that I was not allowed to touch. "Hannah!" Marco exclaimed. The girl who was sitting at one of the computers looked over. She had red hair that was tied into a ponytail, green eyes, and freckles. She smiled, "Hi! Marco!" She stood, coming over and hugging Marco. He hugged her back then she stepped away and turned to me, "Oh my God!" She looked at Marco, "You brought him." Marco laughed softly, "Yes." Hannah looked back at me. "I'm Hannah Diamant! You're Jean, right?" She said, holding her arms out for a hug. "Ah. Yeah." I said, hugging her breifly. "It's so nice to meet you! Hang on. Let me go get Franz." She then headed out of the room. Marco looked at me, "She's nice, isnt she?" I nodded, "Yeah..." Hannah returned with a tall guy who was very tan. He had a very short cut and brown eyes. He immediately smiled at me, "Hi! I'm Franz! It's nice to meet you, Jean." He held out a hand and I shook it, smiling nervously. "We've seen you with Marco and we think you'd be a perfect subject for a number of our assignments. Especially since you seem to look more lively lately." Franz explained as he let my hand go. I laughed a bit, "I'm really flattered. I'm trying to keep my health in check and people recognizing my efforts is really reassuring. Like, holy shit, you have no fucking clue. But. I feel like Marco would be better suited to do this kind of stuff." I said. "Jean..." Marco said. Franz and Hannah laughed a bit. "We think Marco is extremely handsome, for sure." Hannah said, "But you're what we're looking for." I nodded a bit, not getting, at all, why they'd want someone like me, "Right." "So. Are you willing to help us out?" Franz asked. I sighed, thinking... "... What would I be doing, exactly? Like, what assignments?" "Well. We have a few." Hannah said, flipping through her pocket sized notebook, "There are some fashion students requesting a model to wear their clothing. And then there are some outdoor peices we need to shoot." I blinked, feeling my face get hot, "You want me to do that many?" "If it's too much, we can just do one of them-" "No! No no. It's fine. I'm just... Wondering why you want me to be in so many. But okay. I'll do it or whatever." "Yay!" Hannah exclaimed. "Yeah. So. When do I start?" I asked. "Here." Franz said, handing me a sheet of paper with a calender printed on them. And on the days I would work, it said, "Jean: Assignment fashion" or "Jean: Assignment outdoors", etcetera. I raised an eyebrow at them, "You had this pre-made?" I asked. They looked at me nervously. "Anyways! We'd better get to lunch! See you later, Marco. And thanks! Both of you!" They then scampered out of the room. I rolled my eyes. "I'm really confused as to why they want me to do this but..." I said. "Oh come on." Marco replied, "You're really attractive... It's expected." I sighed, "Nobody besides you, my mother, and, like, the three people I've dated before has ever thought that. So I'm not used to it. I know what I look like." Marco laughed softly, pulling my close, "You'll get a lot more compliments. Trust me." "Why?" I asked. "Because you'll be in photos around the school." I smirked, "Whatever. I think you're way better suited for this shit." Marco just laughed, shaking his head, "Thank you... But I disagree... Come on. Let's go put those dates somewhere safe." The two of us went back to the dorm and I figured out which days I could do the shoots. I was such a loner though, that I could make all of them. And stay overtime if they needed it. Good job, Jean, on your fascinating life. The 30th was fucking crazy. It was a weekday but none of us went to class the next day. Eren's party had been massive.
The fifth of April was my first modeling thing. And Marco wanted to go with me and when I told Connie, he and the rest of the bozos wanted to go, too. I was extremely embarassed about that but they assured me that I shouldnt be and I agreed to them coming. The first one was for the fashion students. It was split into three days. They had an outfit and designer per day that they had me for the pictures. It was insane and I felt like I was getting too much attention for my ugly ass. They didnt give me a date to come in and fit the outfits to me. But this girl had made seven different fucking sizes of the same thing. And they had my size. Lucky guess. The girl who made them was very nice. And I recognized her as one of those freshman girls who'd asked me about Marco. I learned her name was Katty. Like Cat-tea. She was excited to see me. When she walked in and I had her outift on, she dropped all of her stuff. She'd made a really awesome pair of low-rise, baggy, blue jeans. And a standard white undershirt. The hoodie she'd made for it was a neon yellow, which I didnt know about. But that was okay. I didnt mind. "Hey..." I said awkwardly. She had just dropped all of her shit but... Whatever. She struggled to pick it all back up, and Marco bounded over to help her. Which wasnt a good move, as she just freaked out more. I blinked and turned away as she freaked out and Marco was just very confused. "Well then..." I said. "Come here, Jean! We need to make your face look more awake!" Hannah said. I smirked, heading over, "Thanks." I knew how dead exhausted I looked all the time. She laughed, "Have a seat." Then she patted the chair near her. I sat down, bracing myself. She put a ton of powdery shit on my face and did some other weird stuff. I didnt know what was happening. She wouldnt let me see a mirror. Marco came over at one point and smiled, promising me that I looked good. Yeah right. I didnt know what she was doing to my face. I figured this'd be a good time to ask questions. "So why did you want me to be your model?" "Well." Hannah started, "Katty expressed her image for the kind of model she wanted." "Which is...?" "Erm... How can I put this without it seeming offensive...? Able to... Look casual. But sexy at the same time?" She said. My face got really hot, "A-As far as I'm concerned, that's a compliment." I stuttered. "I almost said 'fuckboy' by accident. That is not the right word." She said. I laughed, "Fuckboy! Yeah. I dont know about that." I agreed. She laughed, too, nodding. When I saw myself in the mirror, I looked actually alive for once. Not like Warm Bodies zombie boy. My face had color, my eyes looked alive, my eyebrows were filled in which made me look even more pissed off than I already looked, and... "Did you put lipstick on me?" I asked. She smiled, "Yes! Your lips were already super pink but I needed to make them pinker. I figured contouring was useless because you'd just look odd if your face was even thinner." I smirked, "Thanks again." "Here are the shoes and jewlery!" Franz said, walking in with a shoe box. Which got everyone's attention. And Marco and Connie came over to where I was sitting. "Oh yeah. Should I take out my peircings?" I asked. "No! They're great. Leave them." Hannah said, smiling. I smiled a bit back, "Alrighty." Franz handed me the box and I sighed, opening it up. The shoes were new and they looked awesome. I had to be careful with them. "Dude you look awesome." Connie said. I smirked, "Thanks." "Jean. You look really... Good." Marco said, his face red. I laughed, "Right." I put on the shoes then I clipped on the dog tag necklace and slid on the rings and bracelet. "Okay..." I said. Hannah suddenly sprayed my hair and I jumped, nearly falling out of my seat, "Jesus H. Fucking Christ!" I exclaimed. Hannah laughed and started styling my hair. "Okay! Wait! Wait!" I exclaimed, sheilding my head. She didnt stop. "Stop!" I exclaimed, "Get your ass out of my tits for, like, two fucking seconds!" Hannah immediately died laughing and so did Franz, Marco, and Connie. "My God..." I said, snorting, "Let me brace myself." "Bro!" Connie exclaimed, "I dont think that's how you do it!" "I know how sex works, Connie!" I exclaimed, laughing slightly, "Jeez." "Can I just, like, please hug you?" Hannah asked, hugging me around my shoulders. I smirked, patting her arms, "Yeah whatever. You've already touched my face." She then finished styling my hair. And while I kind of wanted to see it, I didnt really want to look in the mirror again. So I just got in front of the backdrop and did what they told me to do. Katty and my squad were looking at the pictures as we went. My squad smiled at me the entire time and it was kind of distracting when Connie started holding up the middle finger for extended periods of time. At one point, Sasha leaned over and, literally, bit the apple Marco was eating, out of his hand. And the expression he made just made me crack up. "Jean!" Katty exclaimed, laughing. "I'm sorry!" I said, trying to surpress my laughter. The pictures ended soon and I got to change and take off the makeup and accessories as the others looked through the photos again. "Jean come see these!" Sasha exclaimed, "They're so good!" I sighed a bit and groaned, walking over. Marco stepped aside slightly and as soon as I saw the first picture, I noped out of there. "I cant. I'm too self conscious. Sorry." "Aww... Alright..." Marco said. "We get it!" Hannah said, "Sometimes it's weird to see yourself on camera! Hopefully you'll want to see them soon!" I smiled a bit, "Thanks." I had two jobs on the 11th and 12th. One for a fashion student and another for an outdoors shoot. As the jobs progressed that month. I became aware that my birthday had passed... And nobody had said anything.
It was the 17th now... It had been ten days since my birthday. I felt pretty shit... I woke up perfectly happy. Friday. Woot. But then we went to class and I remembered it. My confidence levels decreased by a shit ton... I didnt know why nobody had remembered... Nothing out of place was happening. Nobody was acting different... "I feel like... I'm missing something." I said as we were sculpting in the hallway. "Well you did take off your shoes." Connie said. I sighed a bit, nodding, "I did..." "Are you okay?" He asked. I nodded again. "Are you sure? You've seemed a little quiet lately." He said. "I'm fine, Connie." I said harshly. He backed off then. I managed to get everyone to only talk to me if they needed something like more clay or a paintbrush. But other than that, they didnt talk to me. That didnt include Marco, of course. He still talked to me. But it didnt make it any better considering he'd forgotton my birthday, as well. And the next two jobs on the 18th and 19th concluded my modeling time. Hannah and Franz thanked me for my help and I smiled and said it was no problem. I just wasnt worth celebrating, I guessed. I knew it already. On the 20th, Marco woke me up by gently shaking my shoulder, as per usual. But I didnt want to go today. I got up and went into the bathroom and stayed in there until I heard Marco leave. Then I came back out and just flopped back into bed. Fuck these people. They didnt remember their "best friend"'s birthday? What the fuck kind of friends were they? I just curled up under the covers. I suddenly felt tears prickling my eyes and I started to drift off. The modeling was helping my confidence. Until my friends forgot my fucking birthday. I slept until I felt someone shaking me. I blinked awake, sighing softly, and turning over, rubbing my eyes. It was Marco. He had his eyebrows knitted together. "Are you okay...? You never came to the cafeteria." I frowned a bit and turned away again, nodding, "Just wanna sleep..." I knew he was still there. I could feel him. "You've been really snappy lately... With everyone..." Marco said, "You arent okay..." I sighed softly, "It's to be okay when your friends forget about you..." Marco was quiet. Then he sighed, "Jean... Nobody has forgotton about you..." "Yes they have. Including you... And I dont need it..." "What are you even talking about...?" He asked, putting a hand on my shoulder. I pushed his arm away. "Jean. What is wrong?" He asked matter-of-factly. "It doesnt matter..." I said. "Yes it does!" He exclaimed. Then he literally pulled me out of the bed. Marco did not screw around. He lifted me up around my waist and I struggled until I realized he was not letting go. "W-What?!" I exclaimed. "We cant resolve anything unless you tell me what's going on, Jean." Marco said, his eyebrows narrowed and his eyes locked on me. I felt myself break. I dont know when the tears started coming but they did. It was a fucking stupid thing to cry about but I couldnt help it. I felt like shit. "You motherfuckers skipped over my goddamn birthday." I spit at him. His eyes widened slightly. Then he sighed and put me down, hugging me close. I wanted to push him away but I couldnt help but hug him back. I needed someone to comfort me. "Jean... Nobody forgot..." Bullshit. "Shut the fuck up, asshole. Nobody even wished me a Happy Birthday. I call fucking bull!" Marco pulled away slightly and cupped my face in his hands. He always did this when he wanted me to look at him. And it worked. He was smiling softly, "No one forgot, honey... I dont want to spoil the surprise but you've been like this for weeks so I figure I should tell you... We're celebrating your birthday and Connie's together. This Saturday. I'm sorry... I knew it wasnt a good idea to keep it from you because you'd feel this way but I agreed to not say anything... At this point, however, it's necessary." What?! The fuck?! I started crying for real now. Marco looked a bit taken aback but he hugged me close to him. "You are just not having a good time, are you...?" He asked. "I never fucking cried until I started dating you!" I yelled at him. This reminded me of something that had happened multiple times when I was home. Everyone would forget about it in my family, including my mother. And my friends would give me presents and we'd celebrate at school. And now the idea of my best friends forgetting about it plus my family, just destroyed me. Nobody in my family had called me to say happy birthday. It always fucking ties back to my childhood. I only ever cried if it was about my goddamn family problems. It took up 17 years of my life. 10+ years of feeling like fucking crap. I was only three years past that. So I was justified in crying about something making me feel worthless... "I just..." "I know..." Marco cut me off, "Tell me what happened..." I sighed, looking at him and forcing myself to calm down. "So... It happened multiple times but it was really bad my senior year. Not only did my family forget about it, but I got in a huge fight with my dad that evening. That was the day I got accepted to Coirtney. And my dad didnt like that... Because he'd already told me that I couldnt go here. It was just really fucking bad..." Marco nodded, understanding. "Right... Well I'm sorry for hiding it from you..." "No." I said, "I feel like the asshole... I know you were trying to do something fun... And I'm sorry that it didnt turn out like that..." Marco laughed softly, nuzzling his nose against mine, "Jean... If you're okay, I dont mind..." I smirked, "Shut up... You deserve to have some form of fun, you asshole..." Marco laughed more. "Hey! Rude!" He exclaimed, "Dont tell Connie, though." "Wait. Why didnt Connie say anything to me on my birthday?" I asked. Marco laughed, "We told him we were planning a party for you later on in the month." I laughed, too, "Oh my God. Okay." "He actually asked us if we wanted to plan a party for you. He didnt forget by any means. He just figures that this party that's coming up will be just for you." I laughed more, "Okay! Okay. I approve. He might pass out." Marco laughed softly and I grinned. "Love you." He said. "Love you, too." I replied, tracing the B on his wrist tattoo. Marco smiled. "Which sounds better?" He asked. "... What do you mean?" I asked. "Marco Kirchstein or Jean Bodt?" He asked. My face immediately started burning. "Shut the fuck up!" I exclaimed. Marco laughed softly. I sighed and pulled away, going to pull clothes out... "Either one is fine with me..." I mumbled. Marco laughed softly from behind me then he wrapped his arms around my waist and I leaned back against him. "You know you're the best?" He asked me. I snorted, "Whatever..." I got dressed then the two of us headed out. I didnt want to skip breakfast so Marco and I went to a restaurant. When we got back, we had to go through the front building to go the long way to class. And Marco suddenly stopped walking at the display for the fashion students. I stoppes, too, turning. "Jean look!" He exclaimed, pointing. It was a photo of me doing that first shoot in the jeans and neon hoodie. "Uughh..." I said. Marco laughed and kissed me multiple times on the mouth. "Jesus. What the Hell was that for?" "Because you look amazing!" He exclaimed. I laughed a bit. "Thanks..." I said. Marco smiled at me, "I'm really glad she let you keep that outfit in your size." "The jeans are fucking awesome, right? I'll wear them soon." I said. Katty had let me keep the outfit that was my size. She said that she could make another of the same outifit in that size, easy. But I didnt want to take it. She kept insisting, though. So I took it with a thank you. I hadnt worn any part of it yet. Even though the jeans were fucking awesome. "Good." Marco said, "The jeans look really good on you..." He said, smiling at me less than innocently. I smirked back, "Thanks." Marco then leaned over and, literally, bit my neck. I jerked away, "Hey!" I exclaimed, "I dont need a hickey! The other one took fucking ages to go away and it isnt even gone yet, you bastard!" Marco laughed and pulled me over to him by my waist. I smirked and kissed him breifly before pulling away and continuing to walk. Marco walked next to me, our hands intertwined. We were, at least, an hour late for class. We tried not to make a big deal of walking in but Connie yelled, "Did you do the sex?!" And then everyone noticed. "No!" I yelled back. "Jesus Christ, Connie!" "Look what I found!" Marco exclaimed, slamming a peice of paper in front of Reiner. It was one of the pamphlets that were out front of the fashion department. I didnt even notice that Marco grabbed one. "WOAH!" Reiner yelled, "Jean this is cool!" I smirked as Reiner passed it down to other people. Everyone gave me compliments when they saw it and I just said thank you and sat down.
After class was over, Connie, Sasha, Marco, and myself went to the studio building and as soon as we went in, I was hit with a huge scent of something. "Eug! What the-?" Connie exclaimed. Marco died laughing and I was confused as to why. We all looked at him and he just tried to compose himself. "Oh no..." He said, "Whoever is smoking right now is doing it wrong..." Oh. This was weed stink. I didnt know what it smelled like. I'd never done it before. But Marco knew for sure. "You should go get some, Marco." Sasha said. Marco laughed softly, "Why? Do you want some?" "Why not? We've never had it before." Connie shrugged. "Um." I said. They looked at me and I half smiled, "Dont leave me out." Marco smiled, "I dont know. I dont think I'm going to... I'm done with that." "Awww why?!" Sasha exclaimed. "Come on, Marco! For us?" Connie asked. Marco sighed, contemplating. "I shouldnt..." "Are you telling Thomas not to?" I asked, "Is that why?" Marco shook his head, "No no. I'm telling him not to do anything dangerous. But to use the marijuanaz carefully." "I cant take you seriously when you say 'the marijuanas.'" I said. Marco laughed softly. "Yeah... I can smoke it if I want to but... I shouldnt. I know it isnt bad for you but I need to do some work." I sighed, "Cant we just relax for once?" Marco looked at me, contemplating. Then he sighed, "Okay. I'm going to ask them." Marco said, heading to the studio building bathroom. I grinned. "Marco's so awesome." Connie said, "He's the mom friend. But the cool mom friend." I laughed, "Sure! I dont want Marco to be my mother because that's awkward but you believe what you want." Connie and Sasha laughed at that and I smirked. Marco soon came back out, shaking his head, "They dont have anything to give me but they gave me the number of someone who does." I sighed, "To be honest, I dont even know if I can have it." "Why wouldnt you be able to?" Marco asked. "My mom's allergic." I replied. "Oh... What kind of reaction?" Marco asked. "Anaphylactic." I said. Marco nodded a bit, "Well... If you ever try it, we'll be ready to take you to the hospital." He said. I smirked and nodded. Then Marco held his hand out to me and I took it. Connie and Sasha headed to their own studios and Marco and I went into my studio. "You've done a lot this month." Marco said, looking at my work. I smiled softly, "Yeah. I know... It's kind of ridiculous." "Why is it ridiculous?" "Because I'm not supposed to be a productive human being." I said. Marco laughed softly and came over to me, hugging me around my waist. "Can I ask you something...?" He said. I nodded a bit. "How are you feeling? I dont want to pry. But I'm wondering." I smiled wider, "I'm good, Marco... I gained three pounds. I guess I'm 124 now." "You're getting there." Marco said, smiling. I nodded, "Yeah. I'm glad, too... I guess I look better, too." "You're a lot more lively." Marco said, "And your skin's really soft..." He nuzzled his nose against mine and I grinned, "Yeah?" I asked. He nodded slightly.