"So, what brings you to our dimension?" Reed asked.
"I'm here to save The Scarlet Spider and take him back to my Earth," Xander replied. "While we have a lot of heroes we don't have a spider themed one, so there's an opening."
Susan smiled. "I wasn't aware there was a quota."
"There is," Xander said seriously, "and while I can't name the higher powers that govern such things, I do know events have been set in motion to remove him."
"Really?" Reed asked doubtfully.
"How many times have heroes or villains been cloned, and how many of those are still around?" Xander asked.
Reed stroked his chin and considered the matter. "I hadn't noticed the pattern before, but I can see your point."
"What do you mean by higher power?" Alex asked curiously.
"I'm referring to beings of power and universal constants in this case," Xander explained. "I'm not sure whether it's a universal constant or a particular embodiment of an aspect of reality that has decided no two heroes should be exactly alike, but the outcome is the same, any duplicates meet with 'accidents' that removes them from play."
"That's awful," Julie said, the two older Power children looking horrified.
"I think so too," Xander agreed, "so I decided to do something about it. I'll set Ben up with a new identity, lab, and trust fund so he can live a nice, full life on my Earth. The Spiders aren't really good at handling work life balance, as you've probably noticed, always trying to do too much, so by making sure he doesn't need to worry about money or getting to work on time, he should be much happier."
"Work life balance is important," Susan agreed, giving Reed a look.
Reed sighed. "Something I am very much aware of, though I still struggle with it myself."
"Have you considered funding a small lab for Spider-Man to work out of?" Xander asked. "He has the same problem as Ben and is wasting his intelligence working for The Bugle."
"He does have a promising future in the sciences," Reed noted as he considered all the times they'd worked together. "Do you think he'd agree? I wouldn't want to upset him by offering a hand out, he's been a good friend."
"Set up a small lab somewhere, separate from the Baxter building so your groups of villains don't mingle when they attack, as they no doubt will, and simply charge him ten percent of any patents he produces," Xander suggested. "I have no doubt it'll be profitable and within a decade he'll be able to afford to start up his own company."
Reed nodded thoughtfully. "I believe you're right. I'll get right on that."
"I'll handle the details, love," Susan said, "you just convince him to agree."
"Mutants are a threat! Humanity first!" a voice roared out.
Everyone turned to see a small crowd had gathered, at least half of them wearing black armbands and a stage was being assembled.
The heroes aimed matching looks of disgust at the slowly growing crowd.
"I hadn't realized Humanity First was holding a rally here today," Susan said with a sigh.
"I'd forgotten about that," Xander said. "Another way my Earth is different than this one is the lack of a telepathic virus."
"Pardon?" Reed asked curiously, already making mental connections to what Xander had said and certain events, causing a growing feeling of unease.
"Most of humanity is carrying a telepathic virus that mutants are immune to, so it increases antagonism towards them," Xander explained.
"How hard would it be to come up with an inoculation?" Susan asked Reed, wondering if she and Reed were carriers.
"I'll let you know after I've had a chance to study it," Reed replied.
"The virus enhances empathy and has probably been at least partly responsible for preventing all out nuclear war," Xander warned. "Look in the crowd and you can see skinheads standing shoulder to shoulder with people of various races who they would normally detest. I'm not sure what the solution is, but eradicating the virus probably isn't it."
"I'll see what I can come up with, "Reed said, "but this," he gestured to the crowd, "is unacceptable."
"Just take your time and don't make any quick decisions," Xander said, "that's all I ask. Also, I'd suggest being very cautious, if any carriers discover what you are doing it will respond."
Reed nodded. "I have telepathic defenses that should help, I'll be cautious."
"What should we do?" Julie asked, eager to help.
"Don't speak of it, even if you're alone," Xander said. "The less people who know, the safer you'll be. The virus will protect itself by any means possible."
"What if we're infected?" Alex asked.
Xander shrugged. "Then it's already too late, but I'm relatively sure that the various empowerment processes you've all gone through, have cleared your systems of it, otherwise you'd be joining the crowd over there."
The younger children wandered over with their doppelgangers.
"I think I've had enough of the park for now," Franklin said sadly.
Susan picked up her son. "They're just ignorant," she told him, "try not to let them get to you."
Franklin nodded and hugged her tightly.
"I'll see if I can change their mind," Reed said, ruffling his son's hair. "Give me a week or two, it's not going to be easy, but I can be very persuasive when I need to be."
"Really?" Franklin asked hopefully.
"Really," Reed promised his mutant son. "I've let this go on for too long without sticking my nose in it."
Franklin beamed, his depression gone as if it never existed. He had tremendous faith in his family and there were few problems his father couldn't fix. "Hear that, guys? Dad's going to fix this!"
"Well if anyone can, he can," Jack said with a nod.
"Good," Katie said, relieved that Franklin was happy once more.
"Let's go get some ice cream," Reed suggested, knowing that would distract the children.
"Ice cream!" the younger children cheered while Xander reabsorbed his doppelgangers. "I'll need the masks back." Xander reminded everyone.
"But it's comfy," Katie argued.
"It's also part of me," Xander said. "I have infinite mass and can turn into anything, but it feels untidy to leave bits of me lying about."
Katie removed her mask and looked at it thinking about all the shapes he'd taken while Xander reabsorbed all the other masks. "Tiara," she ordered it hopefully, causing it to change into a small gold and diamond crown, which she put on. At Xander's look she gave him a tearful pout and he sighed. "You can wear it for now, but I'll need it back later."
"Thanks," Katie said cheerfully, patting her tiara with a bright smile.
Xander shrunk down to become a young teen. "Where is the nearest ice cream place, anyway?"
"There's a Baskin Robbins just a block away," Susan said amused as she set Franklin down.
"Why the change in age?" Reed asked as they corralled the children into heading in the right direction.
"I get less looks when I pig out," Xander replied with a grin.
0o0o0o0o0o
Xander blended with the crowds as he strolled down Fifth avenue. It was almost sunset and he wasn't sure what to do next.
He needed to stay in New York so Spider-Man could locate him, which limited his options a bit, otherwise he'd probably drop in on the X-Men or New Mutants. He also didn't have a lot of cash on hand as the banks were closed, so he couldn't exchange some gold and get a motel room. He could try a pawn shop, but they'd pay less than the gold was worth and after growing up poor the idea of not getting his money's worth offended him.
He could walk all night, he didn't get tired or need sleep, but that was boring and he had a very low tolerance for boredom. He was still trying to decide, when his rambling steps lead him back to central park. Looking around he decided he might as well sleep here as anywhere else and tomorrow he could get some local currency and take a tour.
He found an empty spot and when no one was looking, he shifted into a life-sized statue on a stone plinth. Much to his surprise he found it easy to doze off and slept soundly until he was awoken by someone tapping him on the foot.
Xander stretched and yawned, blinking in the early morning sunlight. Glancing down from his waist high plinth he saw Spider-Man and The Scarlet Spider standing there.
"I thought you'd ditched my tracer until I realized this statue was out of place," Spider-Man told him amused.
"Really?" Xander asked as his form shifted and reabsorbed the extra mass until he was in his standard Lex form once more. "I'd taken care to make myself look as old as the rest of the statues in the park. What gave me away?"
"Most of the statues are of historical figures and Fat Elvis just doesn't fit the bill," The Scarlet Spider pointed out.
"Blasphemy!" Xander exclaimed. "Elvis was the king!"
The two costumed vigilantes chuckled.
"I understand you wanted to see me," The Scarlet Spider said.
Xander nodded. "I'm from a different Earth, one almost unconnected to here and I got wind of several plots in the works that will result in your death. I can't say what powers are involved, but you staying here in this reality is a death sentence. If it's not one thing it's going to be another, check with a trusted precog and you'll know I'm telling the truth."
"We talked to Madame Web, or rather she called me," Spider-Man said, "that much of your story checked out."
"That was a very uncomfortable call, trust me on that," The Scarlet Spider agreed. "I was told you were my one chance to escape the web of fate and she couldn't see what happened to me after that."
"What exactly are you planning on doing?" Spider-Man asked. "No flowery talk and vague predictions please, god knows I get enough of those from Madame Web."
"Understandable," Xander agreed, "I'm not a fan of Prophecy myself. The universe if going to bend the laws of probability to ensure there is only one Spider-Man, making sure even half assed insane plans will kill one of you, probably Ben, but it's not all that picky. My universe doesn't have any Spider based capes, so you'll be fine there. I figure I'll set you up with a new identity, a lab, and a trust fund so you can invent and punch out bad guys on your own schedule."
"Why?" The Scarlet Spider asked, unused to such generosity.
Xander thought about how to answer that for a moment. "Your death offends me," he finally said. "You are a good man, doing good work, and have had a hard time of it. I've got the knowledge, power, and money to change things, so I'm going to do it."
"That's not the answer I expected, but then I'm not really sure what I expected to be honest," The Scarlet Spider admitted. "Alright, how do we do this?"
"Pack your stuff, not too much mind you, because we have to carry it," Xander explained, pleased everything was going so well, "then we meet up with a man who can send us back to my world. Once we're there we'll go to my tower and start on the paperwork for everything."
"Rich?" The Scarlet Spider guessed.
"I'm almost an analogue of your Tony Stark," Xander replied, "mixed with Reed Richards."
"Impressive pedigree," Spider-Man said.
"I do alright," Xander said modestly.
"Well, I have to say some goodbyes and pack, I'll be right back," The Scarlet Spider said, before leaping off.
"I'll miss having him around, weird as it was," Spider-Man decided. "It was nice having someone who could empathize with everything I went through."
"You have another clone wandering around named Kaine," Xander offered. "He's a bit unstable, as The Hyena tried to enhance him and screwed up a bit. He's got enhanced versions of your abilities and is a precog. He's been hanging around Ben trying to figure out if he had to kill him to prevent Mary Jane's death in one of the futures he saw, but you should probably drag him to Doctor Strange as well. He should be different enough to avoid getting squished by reality, but a non spider themed ID would probably help."
Spider-Man just stared. After a few seconds he said, "Okay, any more bombshells to drop on me?"
"Several," Xander said cheerfully, "and all of them early enough to avoid any major disasters."
"I'm listening," Spider-Man said seriously.
"Where to begin…" Xander scratched his head. "Okay, Osborn is planning to arrange the break out of a bunch of your villains. The idea is to send them after you in waves, until you are worn down enough to kill. Now, normally you'd call in Ben and he'd sacrifice himself to save you and then this turns out to be a huge Xanatos gambit where Osborn fakes the death of your daughter during childbirth and has her spirited away, but I'm taking Ben so that shouldn't happen the same way."
"That's the death Kaine foresaw?" Spider-Man asked intently.
"No, that's something else," Xander assured him. "Anyway, let SHIELD know what Osborn is up to and you can avoid a lot of problems. I'd also suggest calling in some favors so he can't have the docs and nurses switched out and the baby kidnapped. You have a lot of high powered friends, this is the time to ask for help. Seriously, swallow your pride and ask, they would be hurt if you didn't."
"Yeah… I don't have a problem with that," Spider-Man agreed. "The baby's not due for a couple of weeks, so I have time to arrange things."
"Good," Xander said. "That should short circuit the whole strained marriage situation."
Spider-Man nodded. "Losing our child would cause a lot of heartache and stress."
"Now for the more difficult situations," Xander said solemnly, knowing Peter was not going to take this well.
"That was the easy one?!" he asked in disbelief.
"In comparison," Xander agreed. "Aunt May is old, you know that, right?"
"Kinda hard to miss," Spider-man said a little nervously.
"The only reason she's still alive is because she wants to see you happily married with kids," Xander said. "She's holding on for that one thing. It's an impressive act of will, but her time is just about up and she knows and welcomes it. You know she's heading up and Ben is waiting for her, right?"
"I know," Spider-Man grudgingly admitted. "How long..."
"Not sure," Xander admitted, "but what I do know is that a certain infernal being, who's name we won't mention aloud, is going to make an offer when she's dying, to trade away your happy life with Mary Jane to extend May's life. May would not want this and you'd be an idiot to go for it, so don't, alright?"
"Seriously?" Spider-Man asked.
"Seriously," Xander said. "The afterlife she's heading to is top notch, don't fuck it up for her."
"I'll… take it under advisement," Spider-Man said, resolving to deal with it at a later time.
"Probably the best I can hope for," Xander decided. "And finally..."
"I'm listening."
"I don't recall the details, but Doc Oc may end up possessing your body at some point. He decides to live your life to the fullest in your name, it's a thing. Let Doc Strange know so he can keep an eye out."
"My life is weird enough that I don't find any of this impossible," Spider-Man said with a sigh.
"I'm right there with you," Xander assured him. "I once ended up in an alternate reality where my analogue became president, killed one of my favorite heroes, and drove our version of the Avengers into becoming dictators to stop him. I rescued the local version of my gal Friday who was in a coma that I needed the blood of a Deadpool like hero to heal. She's currently learning hand to hand with her alt on an island filled with thousand year old ageless amazon warriors."
Spider-Man just stared at him.
"Yeah, I know my life's ridiculously crazy," Xander said. "Of course the reason I ended up in that alternate reality is even crazier."
"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear any of that," Spider-Man decided. "How do you know so much about my life?"
"That… is an even crazier story," Xander admitted. "Ask Deadpool, and he can probably explain it to you better than I can."
"No thanks, I like my sanity," Spider-Man replied, only half joking.
"Yeah, I know, Deadpool has a Cassandra thing going on where he can tell people the truth but no one will understand or believe him," Xander said, having a soft spot for the fourth wall breaker.
"He's not crazy?" Spider-Man asked in disbelief.
"More… so sane he's insane," Xander offered with a shrug. "Sanity is kind of a nebulous concept when you get down to it. He has impulse control problems and often doesn't think about the consequences of his actions, and he lies a lot… Insane is a good description, now that I think about it, but a lot of the craziest stuff he says is true."
"I"ll try to be nicer to him and listen to what he says," Spider-Man allowed.
"Wallcrawler!" a voice called out and the two spun around to spot a large grey figure in a unique armored suit.
"Oh joy, it's the Rhino," Spider-Man said with a sigh, "I was just thinking I didn't have enough cracked ribs to meet my weekly quota."
Xander snickered. "Let me deal with him, I'm immune to kinetic damage and I can prevent him from wrecking the park."
"Are you sure?" Spider-Man asked. "He's a tough customer if not too bright."
"I plan on attacking his brain directly," Xander replied as his form swelled into a ten foot tall blue figure that looked like it was strong enough to take the Rhino three falls out of four.
"Who are you?!" The Rhino demanded as he got into a fighting stance.
"I'm called 'The Wave," Xander lied, "and I apologize in advance for what I'm about to do to you, but Spider-Man has assured me that The Vault has top notch shrinks, so… I'm sure you'll overcome the phobia you develop in months rather than years like my usual foes."
"What?" The Rhino asked confused and a little wary.
"I'm not strong enough to get into a punch up with you and knock you out," Xander explained, "so my usual way of dealing with super strong opponents like yourself is to get in grappling range and… pour myself into their lungs." Xander held up a hand and let the flesh slowly melt away, skin and fat turning to water as it ran down his arm revealing naked muscle and bone.
Spider-Man and The Rhino both looked horrified.
"Being drowned by my flesh, unable to breathe or escape, has caused some… mental problems for my foes at times, but almost all of them have recovered with therapy," Xander assured him as he slowly stepped forward, his flesh beginning to sag, "and only one ended up in a coma, from oxygen deprivation. I visit him on Sunday's to read to him. I'm hopeful that one day he'll recover and the sound of my voice will call him back from whatever black void he is trapped in."
The Rhino swallowed nervously and backed away as Xander approached, his flesh 'melting' until he looked like a water covered skeleton.
"Don't worry, if the worst happens," Xander said his eyes melting away, "I'll read to you too."
*Thud*
Spider-Man stared at the Rhino's limp form. "I'm not usually one to panic, but I'm really considering calling for a fat priest and a thin one right now," he said with a shudder.
Xander shifted back into his Lex form. "Huh, he fainted. I was just trying to scare him a bit, to get him to surrender."
"I'm almost scared enough to surrender," Spider-Man said. He pulled out a phone. "I'll call SHIELD to pick him up."
0o0o0o0o
Reed activated the telepathic scrambling system in his lab. He'd been up all night redesigning it to insure no trace of psionic energy could pass through it. His former design was based on human psionics, but since he wasn't sure what he was dealing with, he elected to err on the side of caution.
"That ought to do it," Reed said with satisfaction as he checked his instruments and nodded at the results.
Tapping away at a keyboard he brought up the dozens of blood samples he'd acquired, from his family, friends, and a local hospital who had treated the injuries of those involved in a minor riot including members of the Friends of Humanity.
If a telepathic virus was responsible for the existence of mutant hate groups he would find it.
0o0o0o0o
"Do you do that to every enemy you face?" Spider-Man asked, while SHIELD personnel took away a traumatized and shaking Rhino.
Xander shrugged. "I don't really have any enemies," he said. "Most of the time if I get into a fight with a cape I just make bad jokes and have fun, but I know that's your thing and I didn't want to step on your toes, so I went with my variation of the 'Scared Straight' program, which I usually only use if there are civilians I need to keep safe involved."
Spider-Man placed a hand on Xander's shoulder. "I am perfectly fine with you joking around, in fact, I encourage it."
Xander chuckled. "Alright, next time I'll do the usual punch up."
"Good," Spider-Man said, "cause I feel like I should send Rhino an apology and some candy or something."
"Tell him I was a demon you banished to another dimension," Xander suggested, "it's close enough to the truth for government work and will make him feel better."
Spider-Man nodded. "That's not a bad idea."
"Did you let SHIELD know about Osborn weakening the security in The Vault to stage a mass breakout?" Xander asked.
"I dropped a bug in their ear," Spider-Man assured him. "How do you know all this?" he asked. "Saying you're from another universe really doesn't explain anything."
"My explanations would sound like they came from Deadpool," Xander said, "so I just say I'm from a different universe and leave it at that."
"Fair enough," Spider-Man said. "At least your predictions are straightforward and understandable."
"Most of the time prophecies involve important decisions and big battles between good and evil, with both sides trying to stick their nose in. Good usually handles the prophecies and it's easier to get people to do the right thing when you lead them to figuring out the answer themselves and since they are the only one who can figure it out at the right moment it gives the other side less of a chance to interfere," Xander explained, recalling how Giles had explained it to him.
"That… makes a whole lot of sense," Spider-Man said. "Well, thanks for telling me straight out anyway."
"No problem," Xander said, "I'm not a precog, so I doubt I'd know what to say to get you to make the right decision at the right moment anyway."
The Scarlet Spider landed next to them, carrying a duffle bag. "Okay, I'm ready to go. What's with SHIELD?" He looked over to where dozens of SHIELD agents were getting into a number of SUVs surrounding an armored car.
"The Rhino showed up," Spider-Man said.
The Scarlet Spider glanced around. "Minimal damage to the scenery, nice work."
"We'll have to stop by McDonalds on the way to pick up some McGriddles," Xander said, "Axel is probably a bit hungry and my world doesn't have them."
"What is your world like?" The Scarlet Spider asked.
"Much like here, except the government gets along better with heroes," Xander said thoughtfully. "The Norse pantheon is a lot less active, but the Greek one is. I think it's a bit happier overall than here."
"I can't believe I'm moving to a whole new world," The Scarlet Spider said. "I'm going to miss everyone, but then I've been missing them while I was here because we can't be seen together."
"I know," Spider-Man said with a sigh. "I still say we should have faked some records about a lost twin, it's not like our parents could have complained."
The Scarlet Spider shook his head. "Too risky, I'd respond just like you and just claiming it was a twin thing probably wouldn't hold up for long."
"Come on," Xander said, as he started walking. "I'll introduce you to my world's Avengers, they can always use a new member and they're a pretty friendly bunch."
"It'll be nice to make some new friends," The Scarlet Spider said. "I can't believe I'm leaving."
"Trust me, I know," Xander said. "I still miss all my friends in my original reality, but I've been making new friends and it really helps. Of course so does being rich and having my own lab."
"I wish I had my own lab," the two Spider themed heroes chorused before looking at each other and shifting uncomfortably, as they always did when this happened, reminding them of their connection and its origins.
"I believe Sue Richards is going to contact you about setting you up with one," Xander said, "and I'll be setting one up for Red here. Really, it's almost criminal to waste your gifts the way you two have been."
"Gotta pay the bills," Spider-Man said with a shrug.
"And I really haven't been in once place long enough to set one up until recently," The Scarlet Spider added.
The three crossed the street and entered a McDonalds, the people in line in front of them moving out of the way as they spotted the web slingers.
"Thank you," Xander said, giving the nervous and curious customers a smile and wave.
"Can I take your order?" the cashier asked wide eyed and practically giddy with excitement as she saw the two heroes.
Xander smiled. "Can we get two dozen McGriddles and four large Coffees? I'm paying in gold, if that's acceptable."
"I'll cover it," The Scarlet Spider offered, "my cash is only good in this dimension anyway."
"Good point," Xander agreed. "I'll pay you back when we get back to my world."
The Scarlet Spider paid the cashier and collected the receipt before the three moved to the side to allow others to order.
"That's a lot of McGriddles," Spiderman noted, "is your friend a big eater?"
"Not that I know of," Xander replied, "but as I said, my dimension doesn't have the McGriddle, so I'm getting extra so I can have my chefs reverse engineer them."
"Good call," The Scarlet Spider agreed, "I love those things."
"It'd almost be a dealbreaker if they didn't have them," Spider-Man agreed.
"Well, we do have McRibs all year round, so there's that," Xander said.
"Really?" Spider-Man asked perking up. "You know, I've always wanted to travel," he joked.
Xander smirked. "Do what every other mad scientist worth his salt does, either invent a replicator or use a time machine."
"That… could work," Spider-Man agreed thoughtfully. "I would just need a single McRib, then I could analyze the composition and develop a machine that could create them at the push of a button."
"You could sell the patent to Tony Stark and keep the prototype," Xander said, "fortune and food."
Spider-Man nodded firmly. "That will be one of my first inventions."
"Order's up," The Scarlet Spider said, retrieving their food.
Xander accepted a bag and swallowed his first McGriddle in one bite, his mouth stretching around it. "Okay, the rest can wait. We need to head five blocks east."
"Hop on my back, I'll carry you," Spider-Man offered.
Xander leapt onto him, shrinking as he did so until he was the size of a small child. "Swing away!"
"Useful power," Spider-Man said as they took to the sky.
"Woo Hoo!" Xander cheered like a small child as the blocks blurred past. "I always knew web swinging would be awesome!"
"Even better than flying, to be honest," Spider-Man agreed as they landed in an alley and Xander climbed down, a bit disappointed that the ride was over.
"Best get into your civies," Xander said, "new comers in costumes usually run into heroes and have stupid hero on hero battles."
"I have noticed that tendency," Spider-Man agreed while Ben changed. "Of course half of mine were because of some story printed in The Bugle."
"You can always change outfits and pretend to be a new hero to make JJ bored out of his mind for a couple of weeks," Xander suggested.
"I may have to try that sometime," Spider-Man agreed.
"So, where to now?" Ben asked as he ran his fingers through his hair to get rid of mask hair.
Xander knocked on the cardboard box. "Hey Axel, I've got Ben."
Axel poked his head out of the box. "That was quick, I thought it'd take you longer."
Xander handed him a hot coffee and a couple of McGriddles. "They actually listened to reason."
"Seriously?" the bum asked in disbelief before taking a sip of coffee.
"Seriously," Xander said.
"I'm not that bad," the two heroes chorused before looking uncomfortable once more.
"Usually it takes a bit to convince people to drop everything and start a new life in a new world," Axel offered.
"I've spent my entire life moving," Ben said, "and truthfully, I do feel… off about living here."
"That would be the universe telling you that you don't belong," Axel said, "and it's probably worse for you because of your precog abilities."
Xander reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of gold coins. "Here," he said, handing them to Axel, "this is what I budgeted for staying here."
"Thanks," Axel said, "it's hard to hold down a job when you have to jump worlds every week or two."
"Stop by my tower some time and I'll have them issue you a debit card," Xander said. "While I can't give you money that is legal everywhere you go, I can at least help out that much."
"Thanks again," Axel said before finishing off his food. "Alright, ready to travel?"
"Yeah, just give me a second," Ben said. He turned to Spider-Man and clasped hands. "Thanks, you didn't have to accept me as family but you did and I'll always appreciate it."
"Aunt May would have kicked my ass if I didn't," Spider-Man said with a grin. "Stay safe."
"You too," Ben said, releasing his hand and stepping back. "Okay, let's roll."
Xander grinned as Axel stretched and his form began to glow. "Hey Spider-Man, I just figured out the cryptic message that you wouldn't figure out until the time is right to make the right decision."
"Yeah?" Spider-Man asked, squinting against the light radiating from Axel.
"Yeah," Xander agreed and said four simple words that left Spider-Man speechless.
The light faded and they were in a different alley, in a different city, in a different world.
Ben turned to Xander. "Don't cockblock Aunt May?" he asked in disbelief.
Typing by: fyrewolf5
TN: Seriously Peter, cockblocking family you like just isn't appropriate, asshole family you dislike, sure, but not your actual loved ones.