AN: I plan on two flashbacks next chapter

Chapter Thirty Two

I hate the way that people are talking about me but they are talking more about Kuon. They are wondering about where he is, what type of illnesses he has, what his physical limitations are. It's the hottest news of the year and I'm just glad that he's at home and doesn't have to deal with any of it. I smile as I enter a shop where they are selling the latest toys. I know that I could have a personal assistant come and get me everything that the girls want but there's something else that I want to get.

As I walk down the aisles of the toy store, I pause and smile as I see a collectors edition of Sesame Street for the previous ten years, I also see the decade when Kuon was a little kid. I grab it and smile. Even if I pretend that it's for the kids and I 'accidentally' left it out at least Kuon will have something to help him when he's healing.

I look down at the list and pick up the items that Rose and Ana requested. They are both in love with Disney princesses and so that is fun for me to buy for them. Kuon has always just told me that anything I buy for him he would enjoy but I'm not going to make these DVDs his gift, these are for the family, I want to find some other things for Kuon.

After filling the cart with toys and presents, I go to queue up like a regular mother who is shopping during the holiday season. It's when I hear people talking about Kuon that I feel my body turn more rigid. I just want to ignore them. I know that he's done amazingly in his career but he needs some space and distance and respect. What makes this even worse was a role that Kuon had loved doing was that of a young crime boss and importer. It was on TV and if Kuon hadn't been hurt in the accident, he would have been filming the fourth season. It recently won a Golden Globe award but of course, he's not on that show anymore and he wasn't able to attend either this award ceremony or the Academy Awards. His not being there became a topic of conversation.

People actually are surprised at just how nice a guy Kuon is after seeing some of the roles he's played, it's like that British actor who played the Harry Potter villain. Still, he couldn't attend this show and that's making it so that nobody will side with Shotaro. I sigh as I look at the items in the cart. I know Kuon doesn't want people to know about Sesame Street but it's helping him both recover his ability to speak and he's also able to connect with the girls.

I sigh. I just want this holiday season to be magical and filled with happiness. Our family deserves a little happiness after all we've been through.

….

….

After spending money of an amount that would have made me frightened when I was a teenager, so casually, I feel glad that they will hold my items for me to pick up at the end of my trip. I did have them fawn over me a little and say they liked my designs but I'm more relieved that I get to look around for something that Kuon might like. I am disturbed by something the doctors have told me but I don't know whether to tell him yet or not. They want for him to wear some type of helmet when he goes outside because if he hits his head even accidentally before some of the healing occurs then he will most probably die. A helmet as a fashion statement is worth him being alive.

I'm walking through the mall area and I spot a designer luggage company having a sale. Maybe I don't need luggage right now, it's not like Kuon will be taking it anywhere. I can still have a look at it. I sigh, at the beginning of last year we had made a calendar of places to travel and we did take the kids one time to Japan and one time to Guam but then the accident happened and of course Kuon can't travel anymore, he wouldn't be comfortable on such a long flight.

As I'm looking at the luggage, I feel someone approach me but I don't turn. It's most likely one of Kuon's many fans or a reporter wanting to publish the details of his condition. I don't want to let her do that. As the person doesn't leave, I brace myself and turn before feeling a deep shock, I take a step back and frown unsure how to feel. "Kanae?" I ask as numerous feelings tumble around inside of me.

"I spotted you here, mo, and wanted to see how you were doing." I pause and look at her again. The last time that the two of us spent time together, she was extremely critical of the relationship that Kuon and I share. I don't want to introduce negativity to Kuon when he is healing.

"Well," I say slowly, my heart beating in my chest. "What do you want?"

She turns to me in shock. When I was a young and foolish teenager, I would treat her in a completely different way but maybe this shows the difference between how important Kuon and her are to me. She looks at me ready to argue before turning to look at the luggage again.

"Look, I was an idiot before, I said some things without thinking. I should have been more respectful towards the both of you. It's obvious that you love him and obvious, mo, that I haven't experienced that. I wanted to reestablish our friendship. I've been worried about you," Kanae tells me and there's such a longing to believe in her words but I'm still not sure. People don't know about how hurt Kuon is, how he's learning words through a children's television show, how he relies on other people because he's unable to take care of himself even for a few hours.

"Our friendship is important to me too," I tell her before looking away, "but Kuon will always come first." Kanae slowly nods and I smile before bowing my head and closing my eyes. "Promise that you won't judge him?" I ask her and she nods. I'm not sure if I believe her or not but I want to believe her.

"Of course, you're not the type of girl who would marry easily," she says and I can understand that. "Is it possible to spend some time together today?" she asks and I hesitate. Maybe. I do want to get my shopping finished. I want to pick out the perfect gift for Kuon. I nod feeling a little startled by this.

"Sure, come around to the house in about three hours so I can finish up what I'm doing," I say nervously. Father wants to spend time with Kuon today so he didn't schedule anything. I trust Father to take care of him and hopefully neither of them will mind me spending some time with Moko.

….

….

I can't help but feel that Kyoko is a bit too worried about me. I've been asleep most of the day, which I suppose might have bothered Dad who wanted to spend time with me. There's a lot that Dad and I can still do if I'm not too much of a hassle for him. Dad puts down a serving of soup at the table which is low for the girls and that means I can eat from my wheelchair.

"If you'd prefer that I don't go out with her then I understand. I want to make sure that you're okay before I go." She puts a hand to my cheek so that we can make steady eye contact. Of course it's okay with me that she wants to spend some time with her friend. I look at Dad before back at her and Dad looks confused.

"Da' mi'o wa'a…s'ay" I slur out wondering if she can even understand that. I talk slowly and my words run together but apparently it's a 'miracle' that I'm even speaking at all. Yeah, right. Some miracle.

"I can stay," Dad tells me quickly. "I want to stay. Now, let me know if you don't like the soup, it turned out a little spicier than I was going for but I think that it'll be good," he says although it's really just broth, the doctors don't want me to have solid food for at least another few days.

"It smells delicious, Father" she tells me before kissing my cheek. "I won't be out for too long. Just enough time to talk and maybe get some ice cream. I could bring you back some if you want," I smile to him. Dad sits down with us, handing Kuon me water and a couple of pills before pretending not to notice. I appreciate that since I'm still self-conscious about my condition.

"I tried to make something we'll all enjoy," Dad says and we all start eating, I notice some vegetables and beef in theirs that he left out of mine but it's still a good tasting broth. I think Dad put more work into the broth than the other elements of the dish. Once we're finished, Kyoko takes the dishes into the kitchen unable not to squeeze my shoulder to comfort me.

The security buzzer rings and Dad takes over the responsibility of cleaning up the dishes. Kyoko goes to the door and I know that it's Kotonami-san. I'm dressed in casual clothes, another hoody, tee, but this time a pair of jeans instead of sweatpants. After he's finished with loading the dishwasher, Dad comes back and sits next to me.

"When do you start therapy?" he asks me and I look down uncomfortably.

"Soo', 'ey wa' me spea'etter" I look down with frustration. I don't want my words to slur but with the damage that Fuwa left me I can't help it. Dad continues to smile at me, his hand touches my upper arm.

"I think that you're doing amazingly considering that the doctors thought you should have died at the scene. I'm really proud of you," he grins and I roll my eyes. How can he be proud of me when all of my sentences sound like a garbled mess? He rubs my arm in the way that a caring father does. I know he and Kyoko think that I'm making improvement but my speech is terrible.

I see Kyoko enter the room seemingly unwillingly with Kotonami-san behind her. Dad offers me a comforting and supporting look before getting up and giving a slight bow to our guest.

"Hello," Kotonami says before bowing in a deeper way. She looks to me and am I just imagining that she seems disgusted. I know I'm not worthy of Kyoko, she doesn't need to point it out. She stands there looking at me and Kyoko turns between us. I know that it'll make her happy if I try to get along with Kotonami. We've spent time before especially when I was first dating Kyoko and she was protective of her.

"He'o" I say before mentally kicking myself, "Ni' see'ou ge'"

She looks at me with slightly widened eyes before turning away seeming sickened by the way that I'm speaking. I pause. Kyoko can't see her face and I don't want to trouble her by bringing attention to this coldness. She nods before pulling Kyoko into the kitchen and I hear her speak though she's using Japanese as if I don't understand it.

"What happened to his voice? Does he always sound like that?" she asks in an accusing tone and I see Dad frown, shifting uncomfortably before turning in their direction. He takes my hand as if I'm a little kid and squeezes it, he doesn't want to hear this but it's the truth.

"Well," Kyoko says slowly, "with a head injury it's sometimes difficult to speak at all. Kuon's doing really we-"

"He sounds like a baby," Kotonami says and I freeze. "He must act like one too."

Dad turns to me with concern in his expression. I can see his anger but staying here with me seems to take priority. She's right of course. I don't have the same abilities as a regular adult. Hopefully Kyoko doesn't see me that way.

"Such a burden, mo."

End of Chapter Thirty Two

Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Thirty One

Kaname671