Happy New Year guys! I hope everyone have a great New Year celebration and a great 2020!
Oh, there's also another A/N at the end of the chapter for the future of the fic so be sure to read that too.
Chapter 26
It was the only way out. Or at least the only way she saw. She knew she needed to take quick actions if she wanted to make it out of there alive, both her and Jenny. So she sprung forward, hoping to catch Stan off guard, using her whole body weight and then they crashed. Her body was in a freefall and she saw the ground getting closer and closer then…
Erin's eyes opened suddenly and for a moment, there was an indescribable fear that coursed through her, the dark state of the room not helping. But she felt a steady presence behind her—Jay releasing warm breaths down her neck and the heat radiating off his body—and she settled a bit. She blinked a couple of times to let her eyes adjust to the dark and she let his arm that was wrapped around her stomach calmed her down.
It was just a dream.
It was the first she had of the incident with Stan since she woke up in the hospital. After Jay had several nightmares of her falling through the windows, she was expecting herself to have some but was relieved that she didn't. Until now that is.
She still didn't remember what happened after she pushed Stan out the windows, she didn't remember the fall or the painful moment when she impacted with the cold hard ground. Frankly, she didn't want to. She didn't want to relive that trauma and was counting herself lucky that her brain had blocked that out. She hoped she'd never remember. That the dream she just had would just be a one-off thing. She didn't want to remember the fear and the pain of what happened ever again.
Her heart was still beating fast but as soon as she felt Jay tugged her closer to his chest and him burying his face closer in her neck—nuzzling her in his sleep—she felt herself immediately relaxed. His presence was all she needed to get through the dark night and she let his hold on her calm her down, making her feel safe enough to drift off to sleep again.
The next time she woke, it was already morning. Streams of sunlight peeked through the curtains and it illuminated the room. She turned around, Jay's arms around her had loosened enough for her to do so and she studied the still sleeping man next to her, the morning light allowing her to do so. There was a chill in the morning but as always Jay was like a furnace in his sleep. She moved closer to his bare chest because she craved the closeness, she craved the warmth. Plus it gave her an even more up close view of her subject. Morning stubbles lined his perfectly chiseled jaw, the eyelids that were harboring piercing blues behind them were still closed and shifted around in his sleep, and his pink lips—pinker that any guy's lips should be—were releasing warm puff of air. He looked at peace, perfectly content in his sleep and in his dreams and Erin wished she could have the power so all of his sleeps were just like this. He had been her protector as long as she had known him and she wanted to be the same for him in the one place he couldn't protect himself from—his dreams. She scooted even closer to him and she laid the softest and gentlest kiss she could on his chest. She didn't want to wake him up and disturb him but she couldn't resist, the smooth skin beckoning her. He didn't wake but he tightened his arms around her, bringing her flushed up against him and she smiled against his chest. She could smell the familiar scent of his shower gel and she brought her arms around him, her fingers trailing up and down his spine, finally resting on the dip of his back. She closed her eyes again, just enjoying the moment. That she was here, she was in his arms just like where she was always meant to be.
She felt him stirred a little bit before he pressed his lips in her hair, causing her to smile again. She knew he was awake now even though she still had her eyes closed but she felt him pull back to gaze down at her. She didn't want to let him know she was awake just yet and kept still as his fingers gently trailed her face, skimming over her eyebrows down the slope of her nose before ghosting over her lips. Then they traveled down to where her sweater had fallen off her shoulders, exposing the skin. His touch was enticing enough to leave goosebumps in its path and she felt the heat all the way down to her toes. His focus landed on the necklace that he gifted her last night and he held the object in his hands. Her hand joined his that held the necklace like it was the most precious item in the world, finally letting him know that she was awake.
"Merry Christmas," he whispered, his voice heavy with sleep and the morning.
"Merry Christmas," she whispered back, feeling herself being tugged toward him so he could land his lips on hers. She wondered if the sparks she felt whenever their lips connected—even in a lazy morning kiss—would ever go away and she hoped it never did. She loved kissing Jay, he knew just how to turn his head, move his lips, swirl his tongue and kiss her so deeply that her toes curled. Honestly if there was a job that required just kissing him, she'd happily give up her career as a detective.
"This looks even more beautiful on you in this light," he said, his fingers still playing with the necklace as it laid against her skin. She smiled, looking down at the necklace he gave her last night. His mom's necklace. Safe to say, she was surprised and immensely touched when he presented her the jewelry box last night and she opened it to find a beautiful necklace and locket inside. The fact that it belonged to his mother and he wanted her to wear it just made it even more special. While she loved the earrings that he also bought her, it didn't hold a candle to this necklace. Jay never talked about his parents much. They were alike in that they didn't believe in rehashing old wounds and would rather just leave the past in the past. But whenever he did talk about his mom, it was obvious just how much he loved her and how special she was to him. So for Jay to entrust a piece of his mom to Erin by giving her his mom's favorite necklace? Erin didn't have the words to say how honored she felt but she wanted to try anyway.
"Thank you," she started, holding Jay's hand and looked at him straight in the eyes. "For giving me this necklace. For trusting me with something so precious to you, to your mom. I can't say how much I love this enough. And I promise you Jay, I'm going to take care of it." His eyes that were filled with sleep before just cleared and brightened at her words and he kissed her again.
"It belongs to you," he replied, massaging her shoulders softly. "It's yours. Just like I'm yours."
She smiled at his words. Jay was never one for overly flowery words which was just fine with her because Jay showed his love and affection the way she preferred—with his actions. She never doubted his love for her because even though he might not have said it every day, he showed it with everything he did. So whenever she would catch him in a rare vulnerable moment and he would expose that side of him that could make her blush and set her heart fluttering all in the same breath with his words, she would get taken aback.
"I'm yours too," she returned before fusing their lips together. She wanted to do nothing more than throw doctor's orders out the window and make love to this man right here, right now. His hands were sending her body on fire, touching her skin like they were mapping out the best path to give her the most pleasure. She got rid of her sweater quickly and pulled him closer so he was hovering over her, Jay careful not to put his weight on her. But she wanted his weight, she wanted to feel his chest flushed against her, skin on skin. She brought her leg across him to get his body even closer while he worked on leaving breathtaking kisses on her throat. She moaned in pleasure when she felt him getting hard against her core and he pressed harder against her. This was what she wanted and what she had been craving for ever since she woke up. His tongue had now traveled to her chest, dropping wet kisses on the valley between her breasts and she couldn't stop her fingers from stranding through his hair, almost tugging at them. He groaned when she bucked her body up and his hand went underneath her to gather her closer to him and her arms went around him as she easily followed.
"Wait wait wait," he stuttered out, pulling away from her—breathing heavily. "We can't."
"We can," she corrected as she returned her lips on him.
"No Erin," he tried again, keeping her at arm's length while he got himself under control. "We can't. Connor said no strenuous activity. I don't want to hurt you."
"You won't."
He groaned, dropping a fleeting kiss on her forehead. "Erin, as much as I'd love to," his eyes trailed down his body to the evidence of his desire for her, "we can't. Not until you're 100% better."
"But that might be a whole month away," she whined, pouting. How was she supposed to keep her hands off him for an entire month, she had no idea. Especially when all it took was just a look across the room for her to heat up and made her want to pull him against the nearest wall and have him.
"I know babe," Jay agreed, resting his head in the crevice of her neck, still breathing heavily. "It's harder for me. Literally." She chuckled at his lame joke, giving him a light smack on his back. "But the only thing that would be harder is to see you in pain."
"I think I'll feel nothing but pleasure," she returned, dropping her voice to the raspiness that she knew drove him crazy.
He groaned again, his head burying further in her neck. "Yeah for the first hour maybe. But then you'll feel that pain."
"An hour?" she raised her eyebrows suggestively. "Is that a promise?" she asked, in the same voice.
"You drive me crazy, you know that?" he retorted fondly, rolling his eyes. He lifted his head and placed a quick kiss on her lips. "I promise that when you are cleared by the doctor, I will spend the whole night showing you just how much I want you. That hour? It'll be a blip compared to what we'll do."
"Hmm," she hummed, her smile showing the dimples he loved so much. "I'll hold you to that," she replied, sealing the promise with a kiss.
After they spent the next hour just lazily kissing and touching each other everywhere they could, they finally managed to get out of bed. Voight was coming over in a few to see Erin and drop off her gift and they wanted to look at least decent when he arrived, Jay wanting to make sure he didn't look like he just spent the better part of the morning in bed, ravishing Voight's almost daughter.
Erin laughed as she watched Jay moved frantically around his place, tidying up the mess that wasn't there, running in and out of the rooms putting things away. She knew that Jay wanted things to be perfect for Voight's arrival—wanting to impress him—and her heart filled with even more affection for him. "Jay," she called out as he disappeared back into the bedroom, to put away her sweater that she had left out from before. "Jay!"
He popped his head out the door. "Yeah? You okay?" She nodded, patting the seat on the couch next to her. "Erin," he said, almost whining, "I still have to clean the bathroom."
"Jay," she called, "Voight's not even going see the bathroom in that room. If he does have to use it, he's going to use the one out here."
"But still," he began to protest but she shook her head, patting the seat next to her again. Sighing, he gave in and made his way over to her—sitting down. "I just want to make everything perfect so he doesn't have any complaints about you staying here."
Her mouth pulled into a smile at his words and she leaned in to give him a kiss. "You're amazing you know that?" He shrugged, a cocky smile taking over his face. "All Hank wants is for me to be happy and he knows that I'm happy here with you. Plus he sees me living here and this place spotless? He'll automatically think something's strange is going on."
"Yeah, you are messy." His quip earned him a smack on his arms as she scoffed, indignantly. "I just want everything to go perfectly. I don't want him to doubt whether or not I can take care of you or that you should be here."
She reached over to smooth the creases that formed between his brows. "Jay, he knows." She wanted to reassure him, touched by his efforts. "Voight knows that you can take care of me. He wouldn't have let me stay here for a night if he didn't so just relax babe. Everything will be fine. I'm not going anywhere even if Hank doesn't approve." She wanted to let him know that she was here because she wanted to be. She might have let Voight's opinions and rules kept her and Jay apart before but that was in the past. While Voight's opinion meant a lot to her, she'd no longer put it ahead of Jay's feelings. Jay came first.
It turned out just like Erin had expected and Jay was worried for nothing. Voight had stopped by, holding Erin's gift in his hand. Erin had a gift of her own for him, the latest grill that she had bought and had arranged a delivery to Voight's house.
"That's too much Erin," he said, giving her a thank you kiss after she gave him the receipt and the delivery details for the grill.
She waved his thank off. "Jay helped me pick it out and he chipped in for half actually. He wanted to get you something and we just thought it'd be perfect for you." Voight turned his eyes onto Jay who was sitting across from them, giving Voight a small tight smile, studying the older man's reaction.
"Hmm," Voight grunted. "Halstead, you should've saved that money now that you'll be without income for a month." The smile dropped from Jay's face and Erin gave Voight a glare. She knew that Voight liked Jay but it was a habit for him at this point to make Jay squirm.
"Hank," she said, her tone warning Voight to be nice.
"No, I wanted to get you something special for Christmas," Jay replied. "It really wasn't that much money." Erin rolled her eyes, keeping the true dollar amount to herself. She wouldn't call it little and she had planned to purchase the new grill for Voight herself but Jay had caught her browsing and had insisted on going in for half on the present.
"Now I feel bad that I didn't get you anything for Christmas Halstead."
"It's okay," Jay said, not expecting anything from Voight in the first place.
"I mean I didn't get you anything that I had to spend money on anyways," Voight interrupted, pulling out an envelope and handing it over to Jay, who seemed surprised that Voight had even gotten him a present in the first place.
He read the content of the envelope, his eyes widening as he read the letter. Erin waited as patiently as she could while Jay took in the present. "What is it?" she questioned, unable to stay quiet any longer.
"Wow," Jay stood up, shaking Voight's hands. "Thank you Sergeant." Voight shrugged, as though it wasn't a big deal. Now Erin's patience had ran out, having been kept in the dark while the two interacted. Voight chuckled, seeing the annoyance that started to make its way on Erin's face. "I just called in a few favors, pulled a couple of strings and made it so Halstead's suspension wouldn't be on his record."
"He managed to turn my suspension into a paid furlough," Jay added, still sounding surprised that Voight had gotten something for him in the first place.
"I would've gotten you back in the bullpen ASAP but I figured you'd want to spend time with Erin while she got back on her feet so."
"Hank," her voice was soft as she leaned over to give Voight a hug, happy that he was thoughtful enough and had accepted Jay's position in her life. "Thank you."
"Don't mention it," he muttered, staring down Jay. "Really, don't mention it again. Let's not make this a habit." Erin laughed, amused at how uncomfortable they both looked. The two most important people in her life getting along—or trying to anyways—was all she needed for Christmas.
"So what's up? You look like you have something to tell me." Erin was left alone with Voight while Jay was busy in the kitchen, making something for her to eat. She knew that he had just wanted to give them a moment alone by themselves so he had removed himself.
Hank sighed, looking over to the kitchen to see what Jay was doing before turning back to Erin. "Bunny contacted me." Erin took in a sharp breath. "She saw your accident on the news so she knows you were in town."
Erin's stomach dropped at Hank's words. That was the last thing she wanted to happen. She didn't want Bunny having any inkling that she was back in Chicago. "What did she want?"
"To know if you were okay. And she was asking questions like whether you were back in town for good or not."
Erin's eyes narrowed. "You didn't tell her I'm moving back did you?" Jay heard the distress in Erin's voice and he made his way back to her, sitting down on the arm rest of the couch.
"What's going on?"
"Bunny," Erin replied, shaking her head. "She found out about my accident and was asking Hank questions if I'm back or not."
"You didn't tell her anything, did you?" Jay asked sharply, staring down Voight.
Voight crossed his arms. "Of course I didn't." Both Erin and Jay released sighs of relief at Voight's answer. "I didn't tell her anything except that you were fine and that you were back in New York. I also warned her again to stay away from you just in case she needed a reminder."
"Thank you Hank," Erin said, the worry that started to build when she heard Bunny's name slowly going away. Bunny was like a shark in the water, ready to pounce as soon as she smelled a hint of blood. She didn't want or need Bunny anywhere near her. She didn't want Bunny to have any idea that she was back in Chicago.
Voight left shortly after, reassuring her again that Bunny wouldn't come anywhere near her. Erin tried not to let Bunny ruin her Christmas just by the mention of her name. She really wanted to stop letting her mother have that much power over her life. No, this was going to be a good day and Bunny wouldn't ruin it for Erin.
The rest of the team came over steadily throughout the day. Kevin and Olinsky making quick appearances—having their own family to spend Christmas day with—but they wanted to hear from Erin about whether or not she accepted the job back in Intelligence. So everyone gathered in the living room, Erin on the couch and Kim next to her—and the rest of the guys sat on the floor, around the coffee table.
"Not that I don't like my new cell phone case," Adam started, holding up the new case that was practically indestructible that Erin had gotten him after the countless time she has caught Adam dropping his phone, "the only thing I want is to hear the words from you Lindsay that you're back, officially." Everyone's eyes turned on her, waiting for her answer. "Well?"
Erin glanced over at Jay, who just nodded at her encouragingly. "I've decided to take Crowley's offer and come back to Intelligence, if you guys will have me." She held her breath, shrugging her shoulders and waited for everyone to react. Suddenly the room erupted in cheer at her answer and she found herself in the arms of her team, all congratulating her and welcoming her back genuinely. She felt so loved and welcomed by the people she loved the most that she found herself tearing up at their reaction, trying her best not to let her tears fall.
"I can't believe I get my best friend back," Kim gushed, wiping away her tears and pulled Erin into a tight hug. "I'm so happy."
"Me too," Erin returned, both of them swaying side to side still in the tight embrace. "You have no idea how much."
"When are you going to be back officially?"
"I still have my medical leave so I'll be back in the bullpen probably by February," Erin replied, already feeling the itch of wanting to get back to work.
"Well we can't wait to have you back," Antonio said. "But take your time, get yourself 100% better before you come back." Erin nodded, hugging Antonio.
"I can't wait."
The air felt different but familiar as soon as Erin stepped out of LaGuardia, Jay following behind closely carrying their luggage. After spending a couple of more days in Chicago after Christmas, they finally made it to New York, probably the last time for her in the city for a long while. Not that she was having second thoughts or regretting her decision to move back to Chicago. Especially when she was reminded again that the milder winter in New York—compared to Chicago anyways—was the only feature she liked more about New York City over Chicago. Really, it was kind of sad that the weather was the only thing she had found more likable about the city during her two years here.
They took the cab ride back to Erin's place and she was nervous to let Jay see where she had been living for the past two years. She opened the door to let Jay in and he entered, dropping the bags by the door and glancing around her place, taking it all in.
"So this is your place huh?" Jay muttered as he walked over to the windows and glancing out to see the view. She joined him by the window, crossing her arms.
"It's no Chicago skyline," she said, looking out at the buildings. "More of a concrete jungle." Her place was right in the middle of Lower Manhattan, Erin wanting to stay close to her work when she was at FBI. Long commute wasn't her thing, especially since she moved to New York and relied on public transportation so she found a building on Broadway that was just modern enough for her liking. When she made her transfer over to SVU, she didn't bother moving since her place was also close enough to the courthouses and places she had to frequent for her job. "But it's a safe building and I got a good price on it so," she finished, shrugging.
"You own the place?"
Erin nodded. "Part of my compensation package from FBI. All it took me was a bullet to my back," she joked but Jay didn't laugh, not finding the humor in her getting shot. "Want something to drink?" Erin asked, wanting to change the topic. "I left in a hurry so everything in the fridge probably already gone bad so I probably just have water and a six pack."
"I'm good," Jay replied, wrapping his arms around Erin. "Give me a tour?" Erin nodded, taking Jay's hand to give him the tour of her place. Jay was quiet as he followed her around, room to room. Erin's place was pretty bare, Erin just opting to have the essentials. She had most of her stuff from her old place stored in Voight's place, not wanting to bring them to New York with her, just wanting a fresh start. At least it made packing up things easier, she really just had to pack up her clothes and a few personal items and take them back to Chicago with her.
"Have you thought about what you're going to do with the place?"
"Probably keep it," Erin replied, sitting down on the couch slowly. Her thigh was still recovering and she was still limping but she was determined to go without her crutches, much to the chagrin of Jay. "Turn it into income property. Have you seen the monthly rent I can get for this place? Got to love realty prices in New York City."
"Hmm, sounds like I'm getting myself a sugar momma," Jay joked. "I don't mind being a kept man, just sit around, doing nothing and just have you use my body for your pleasure."
"You're an idiot," Erin said, chuckling. "Nah, whatever money I'm going to get from leasing this place out is going to rent in Chicago."
Jay's face turned serious, turning his body on the couch to completely face Erin. "Rent?"
Erin nodded. "Yeah," she replied, "I have to live somewhere and it won't be free."
"Oh," Jay's face fell. He cleared his throat a couple of times before quietly saying, "I thought you were going to be living with me. At my place." His voice sounded unsure and Erin frowned.
"We haven't exactly talked about where I'd be living permanently," Erin replied, shrugging. "We should probably do that," Erin said, stating the obvious. "What are you thinking?"
He grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers together. "I'm thinking I want you to live with me at my place. I want you there 24/7, I want to go to sleep next to you and wake up and you be the first thing I see in the morning, even if you are grumpy in the morning and I want us to make my place into our place."
Erin smiled. "Yeah?" she asked, Jay nodded, not hesitating a bit. "Jay, I want nothing more than live with you and sleep next to you every night even though you snore super loud," she quipped back. "I just didn't want to assume or push things too fast. I thought maybe you'd want some space now that the whole thing was Stan is done and finished."
Jay shook his head. "I don't," he quickly refuted. "I don't want space. I have had enough space for the past two years. I just want you with me."
Erin leaned in and kissed Jay. "Me too," her voice was soft but sure. There was nothing she wanted more in the world than to move in with Jay, for them to officially share a home.
Jay's face brightened and he squeezed her fingers. "Erin Lindsay," he said, grinning and the corner of his eyes crinkling in the way Erin completely adored. "Will you move in with me? Officially?"
Erin chuckled softly at his question. "Yeah," she replied, nodding quickly, elation on her face. "Yes, Jay Halstead. I will move in with you." She chuckled at how ridiculously cheesy they were being, a complete contrast to the first time Jay had asked her to move in with him.
He leaned in, studying her face closely and grinning at the certainty he found in her eyes, before kissing her deeply, both of them ecstatic and excited about the future.
Olivia had insisted on throwing Erin a good bye gathering, Erin having informed Olivia of her plan to leave SVU and return to Chicago. So it was the night before New Year Eve and it was also the night of the small party in Erin's honor at Olivia's place. Erin and Jay made plans to stop by the Rockefeller Center right before heading to the party, wanting to see the tree that they talked so much about while they were here and the tree was still up.
Jay buttoned up his dress shirt and was deciding on whether to wear a tie or not. He knew that the gathering was small and mostly casual but he still wanted to put in the effort. After all, the party was for Erin and he was grateful toward everyone in SVU for treating his girl so well over the year. He had decided on a cobalt blue tie that matched his eyes and went out to the living room to finish putting it on, Erin still putting on her makeup in the bathroom. He pulled the knot on the tie up until it fit comfortably around his neck, checking out his reflection in the window. His eyes got caught on the picture frame in the background of the reflection and he turned around and made his way over to the mantle, taking a closer look at the picture Erin had up. He couldn't stop the fond smile that came over his face when he saw the picture of Erin when she was younger in her ballerina outfit, grinning widely at the camera, her dimples showing. He had seen this picture before and it was just as adorable as he remembered, a peek into a rare happy moment of Erin's childhood. Suddenly his heart filled with love and longing, his mind imaging a little girl of their own with his freckles and Erin's dimples, running around their home, all dressed up in her own pink tutu. He could easily imagine their little girl, just twirling and dancing around in her dress, without a care in the world while he and Erin watched on, their hearts full of love for the little human that they created together.
His fingers made their way on to the picture frame, skimming it gently. He had never really thought much about whether or not he wanted kids but in that moment as he imagined a mini Erin running straight into his arms, hearing her happy squeals in his head, he had never been more sure that he wanted a family, as long as it was with Erin. The thought of them having a family of their own one day made him more excited than he ever thought possible. He was too caught up in his fantasy that he didn't hear Erin come out of the bathroom until he felt her arms wrapped around him from behind, kissing the shell of his ears.
"What are you looking at?" she asked softly as his eyes remained on the picture.
"I love this picture of you," Jay replied, holding up the frame to get a closer look. "You were so cute."
"Hmm, are you saying I'm not cute anymore?" she teased. He turned around in her arms and got a good look at her and how stunning she looked, all dressed up. She was so beautiful, absolutely flawless in his eyes.
He brought his own arms around her and pulled her close. "Now you're absolutely gorgeous," he replied, eyeing her up and down. "Stunning," he whispered, face just inches away from hers. Erin hummed happily at his answer, leaning in to meet his lips.
"Good answer. Can you zip me up?" She turned around, showing him her exposed back as she stood, most of her weight on her good leg. She had opted for a knee length dress, wanting to hide the wrap that was still around her thigh but she looked beautiful all the same to Jay, the green color of the dress making her eyes sparkle even more than usual. He zipped her dress up slowly, fingers teasing the bare skin that aligned the path of the dress. He leaned down to kiss her exposed shoulder, sucking the skin softly before moving his mouth over to her neck, her scent intoxicating him. "Jay," she gasped softly, his lips working their usual magic on her skin. "We have to go." He groaned into her neck, pecking it before pulling away reluctantly.
"Alright," he sighed, putting on his jacket and Erin stepped into his space, hands adjusting the tie on his neck. "How do I look?"
"Decent enough," she shrugged, earning a glare from him. She laughed at his reaction. "You look hot babe. All the girls will be jealous of me."
"The only women I know would be Olivia and Amanda at this thing and I'm pretty sure I'm not their type."
"Jay Halstead? Not somebody's type? Impossible."
"Okay, now you're just teasing me." he said, rolling his eyes. "Come on. Our tree is waiting for us." He helped Erin put her jacket on, bundling her tight so she'd remained warm and they headed out to see the Rockefeller Center tree that they've talked so much about.
It was absolutely breathtaking, Erin thought, as she stood and took in the tree that stood proudly in front of the Rockefeller Center. It was massive and was completely filled with multi-colored lights with a huge star on top of the tree. The lights were absolutely blinding, the sheer amount of them completely lit up the area and filled it with beauty
"It's so pretty!" Erin gasped as she curled her arm around Jay, leaning her body weight on him. She had decided to forgo the crutches and Jay had been patient with her, acting as her support, as they exited the cab and she had practically limped around, determined to make her way without her crutches.
"Yeah," Jay agreed, holding her tighter. "I can't believe this is your first time seeing it," he murmured as he looked up to take in the whole tree.
"You see all these people around?" Erin asked, glancing around at the crowd that surrounded them, all clamoring for space to take their own pictures. Erin didn't do large crowds, especially tourists, already feeling a little bit overwhelmed by the amount of people around her. And it was supposed to be considered a lighter crowd than usual, Christmas already having passed and New Year not yet here. "The only reason I'm even here right now is because you're here with me. You make things more bearable."
Jay bent down to catch Erin's lips, kissing her soundly. "The tree is beautiful," he started, their faces close together that their visible breaths in the cold mixed together. "But I like our tree a lot better."
She grinned, rolling her eyes before closing the gap between them. "Me too," she admitted softly against his lips. "It's definitely the better tree."
After taking several pictures of themselves—where Jay had shown off his smile that Erin loved just like he promised—they decided that they had enough of fawning over the tree and had enough of being pushed by the crowd and made their way over to Olivia's place.
"Hey," Olivia greeted warmly as Jay and Erin made their way inside to her place, happy for the warmth that was waiting for them inside. "Thank you," Olivia said as she accepted the bottle of wine that Jay had brought for her. "Come in," she led them inside where her SVU team was already there and waiting for them.
"It's the guest of honor," Dodds greeted happily, coming over to wrap Erin up in a tight hug and dropping a kiss on her forehead. "How you feeling partner?"
"Great," Erin said, patting Dodd's arms. Suddenly she felt a wave of sadness passed her at Dodd calling her partner, knowing they'd no longer be partners.
"You sure you're okay to be walking around like this?" Fin asked, concern written on his face at Erin leaning on Jay. "Where are your crutches?"
"I'm not walking around the city using crutches," Erin retorted. "I'm fine. I just can't put much weight on it and can't walk too fast."
"Hmm," Fin just said, not completely believing Erin. "Alright, then come and sit down and rest your feet. You're the guest of the hour." Erin followed as Fin led her to the empty couch, sitting down on it gently. Jay shook Fin's hands and sat down next to her.
"I can't believe you're leaving us," Amanda said, face sullen at the thought of Erin leaving. "You sure we can't change your mind?"
Erin's mouth formed into a sad smile at the thought of leaving SVU. She was going to miss her team so much. While she might not have liked New York City much—hating her time working for F.B.I—her team at SVU was a completely different story. They had easily welcomed her and made her feel like she had a family in the city and despite the short time she had been at SVU, they had managed to make their way into her heart and she teared up at the thought of leaving them.
"Hey no tears tonight," Carisi chided, handing Erin a glass of wine. "This is supposed to be a celebration."
"Yeah," Amanda agreed, wiping away evidence of her own tears and sniffing to hold more back. "We're so happy for you. Really Erin." Erin nodded, holding up her glass to meet everyone's in a cheer, taking a sip of the liquid afterwards. She felt Jay's silent but unwavering support when his hand reached for hers to lace their fingers together and she was reminded again of why she was moving back to Chicago. That no matter how much she was going to miss her team in New York, she belonged in Chicago, she belonged with Jay.
They had been pulled in different directions as the night went on as Fin had engaged Jay in a deep conversation that had both of them completely enthralled and engrossed in so Erin had made her way around the room, making small talks and saying her goodbye to other members from the precinct, knowing that it was likely the last time she'd see them. She was pulled into a conversation with the secretary that worked with them that she didn't notice Ewan's arrival until she glanced over to Jay and found Jay and Ewan standing together, talking.
She grew nervous as she watched them from across the room, unable to decipher what they were talking about. She knew Jay wasn't too fond of Ewan, despite Erin telling him that Ewan was just a friend, no matter how much Ewan wanted to be more. She bit her lips, wanting to go over to them when Amanda held her back. "Don't worry," she said quietly in Erin's ear. "They're both behaving."
That didn't stop Erin from wanting go over to them so she made her way over, ready to intercept if their civil conversation turned otherwise. She almost halted in her steps when she saw Jay stuck his hand out, waiting for Ewan to shake it and she frowned in confusion as the two men shook hands, Jay a small smile on his face while Ewan's remained stoic.
"Hey," she said as she reached them, trying to put on her most sure smile. "Ewan."
He returned her smile and leaned over to give her a peck on the cheeks. Erin caught Jay's eyes and he seemed fine enough at the interaction between her and Ewan. "Erin," Ewan said, holding Erin's hands. "I heard that you were moving back to Chicago."
"Yeah," Erin confirmed. "I'm here to pack up my things."
The sadness was palpable on Ewan's face. "I'm going to miss you a lot," he said, frowning. "I can't believe you're leaving. Anything I can say to convince you to stay?"
Erin shook her head. "Afraid not." She glanced over at Jay, who gave her a smile. "But it's not like you're never going to see me again. You're still coming to Chicago to treat Tara right?"
"Of course," Ewan replied, keeping his promise to Erin from earlier to help Tara out. "As soon as her doctor in Chicago clear her, I'm on my way."
She hugged him, patting his back. "Thank you Ewan," she said genuinely. "For everything you did for me. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. You're a great friend."
He returned her hug, squeezing her tightly. "You're welcome," Ewan replied, sadness clouding his voice, especially with Erin reiterating that she saw him just as friends. He turned to Jay. "You're a lucky man."
"I am."
"I actually have a shift soon so I should get going," Ewan said, "I just wanted to swing by and make sure I saw you before you left. I'm going to miss you Erin. Take care of yourself and remember, anything you need I'm one call away." Erin nodded as Ewan turned back to Jay. "Take care of her."
Jay just nodded, holding out his hand again to shake Ewan's. "Thanks again man. For everything." Ewan didn't reply, just a quick tilt of his head to acknowledge Jay's words and he leaned in for a final quick kiss on the cheek with Erin and he turned and left, shoulders sagged, sadness radiating off of the doctor.
"What were you two talking about earlier?" Erin asked as she watched Ewan leave Olivia's place.
Jay dropped his head, quiet for a second that Erin wasn't sure if he was going to answer her. "I just wanted to thank him," Jay finally replied, catching Erin by surprise. "For what he did for you."
"I didn't think you liked him," Erin said sheepishly. She was half expecting to have to pull Jay off of Ewan when she saw the two of them together so she was definitely caught off guard when their interaction had been nothing but civil. She really should've given Jay more credit.
"I'm still not a fan of the guy," Jay said, referring to the cocky nature of the confident doctor. "But he helped you when you were in the hospital. He's a big part of the reason why you're standing here tonight. How can I not thank the guy when he helped out the woman I love? Everything else doesn't matter." Erin beamed, Jay continuing to surprise her over and over again with the depth of his love for her. After all, wasn't that what love was? To put aside all the personal bullshit and put the other's well-being and happiness first? Where the most important thing was making sure that nothing but good things happened for the one you love, no matter how it affected you. Just when Erin thought it wasn't possible to love Jay more, he continued to prove her wrong—that it was possible to love him even more than she did at the moment.
"I did two tours in Afghanistan then I came home and signed up for the academy," Jay repeated his life story for the umpteenth time this evening, making small talks with the random people from the SVU's precinct, most of them he never met before. They were nice enough but it was getting tedious, having to repeat the same thing over and over again. Small talks were never his thing and sharing his life story even more so but he wanted to be polite and gave off a good impression, for Erin's sakes. So he sucked it up and just tried to listen—or pretend to listen as best he could—as a detective droned on and on about his arrest record and the medal of honor he received from the Mayor of New York, clearly proud of himself.
After the third repeat of the same story, Jay had already tuned the guy out, eyes just glancing around the room before landing on Erin across the room. A love struck grin came on his face when he spotted Erin holding Noah in her arms, playing with Olivia's son, making the little boy laugh out loud. He stood absolutely captivated as Erin bounced Noah on her leg and tickled him, making the boy squealed out in giddiness and for the second time that night, he got lost in the fantasy of he and Erin having a child of their own—only this time instead of a little girl in a ballerina dress, it was a little boy, toothy grin and missing tooth, dressed in his little league outfit. He saw himself hoisting their son up to his shoulders as Erin walked next to them, arms hooked onto Jay's as she warned him affectionately to be careful. He would roll his eyes at her fondly before playfully dipping their son to tease Erin and she would smack his chest. But their faces would be smiling, happiness beaming off of the three of them, their little family in their own little world.
"So what do you think Jay?"
"It sounds amazing," he replied, voice filled with awe.
"You think the growing vitriol against the police is amazing?" Jay snapped out of his fantasy at the disbelief that came from the person he was tuning out. Jay cleared his throat, having been caught not paying attention to the conversation that was happening around him.
"Yeah, I just think it's amazing that people care so much," Jay said, trying to cover his ass. "Not that vitriol against the police is amazing or anything. Excuse me," he excused himself, feeling the glares on his back from the people he walked away from. He needed a drink and to snap himself out of his fantasy. If Erin knew what he was dreaming of for the second time that day—Erin and him with a kid of their own—he was pretty sure she'd be running for the hills. He needed to take things slowly and the last thing he wanted to do was to rush Erin. They had just decided to live together officially, they had plenty of time for marriage and babies in the future. But he couldn't stop the smile that kept taking over his face at the thought of them becoming parents but for now, he'd keep it to himself in his heart. His own little secret until Erin was ready.
"I'm going to miss him so much," Erin murmured as she blew kisses on Noah's face. "You gonna miss me Noah?" The little boy didn't reply, just giggling happily as Erin blew more kisses. "Say you're going to miss your Auntie Erin."
Olivia chuckled fondly as she watched Erin and her son interact. "He's going to miss you. We all will Erin."
"Me too," Erin said, letting Noah go so he can run off to play with his toys in the corner, Erin watching him happily. After watching Noah play with his train, she turned to Olivia. "I can't say enough how much I owe you Olivia," Erin started, holding Olivia's hand. "You've done so much for me and I can't thank you enough."
Olivia patted Erin's hands, smiling sadly. "You don't ever have to thank me," Olivia replied. "I'm happy for you really. You're going home, where you belong."
"Thank you," Erin stressed, making sure Olivia knew just grateful she was to the older woman who in the short time had become a mother figure that Erin never had. She deeply respected her, always ready to help Erin out whenever she needed and knowing when to hold Erin responsible. "For giving me a chance. For giving me my own little family in this cold city when I felt lost and alone. For making me see that there was someone out there that cared about me when I needed it the most and for making me safe when I was terrified."
"Stop, you're making me cry," Olivia chided as she wiped away the tears that welled up in her eyes. She exhaled, trying to hold in her tears. "This is supposed to be a happy occasion."
Erin agreed, her own tears falling. "I know," she chuckled, wiping her own face. "But I'm going to miss you so much."
"I'm not leaving your life," Olivia proclaimed. "I'm just a plane ride and a phone call away whenever you need me. You know where to find me. You're going to be alright Erin," she said, holding Erin's face. "Remember what I said though. Let the people you love in and I promise, you'll be just fine." Erin nodded, leaning into her touch.
"I will. I promise."
Erin was tuckered out, both physically and emotionally, but she had just one more person to say goodbye to before she and Jay made their exit. She approached her partner and laid her hand on his shoulder to get his attention. "Hey partner."
He grinned at her. "I guess that's the last time we'll get to call each other that huh?"
Erin smiled, nodding. She was going to miss having Dodds as her partner. They didn't get along at first, both clashing constantly, but they had learned to appreciate each other's differences over their time together and had formed a strong brother-sister relationship and she was going to miss seeing him every day. "I know your new partner won't be as awesome as me," Erin teased, rolling her shoulders. "I mean, really who is?"
"Yeah, they definitely won't be."
"Take care of yourself, especially now that I won't be here to watch your back anymore."
Dodds flashed her his award winning smile. "Got it," he agreed, hugging her tightly. "You too. I'll admit that Halstead might be prettier than me but I'm pretty sure I'm better with the gun so you be careful back in Chicago."
Erin laughed. "Don't let him hear you say that. Keep in touch okay?" Dodds nodded, agreeing and they hugged one final time for the night, him leaving a kiss on her head. "I'll see you soon okay?"
Erin sighed, taking in the room one last time, seeing the faces of the people she considered friends and family in New York, knowing that it was the last time she'd be seeing most of them for a while. She had no idea that she would feel this sad at the thought of leaving them, didn't think she had gotten so attached to her unit. Jay stood next to her—supporting her weight as always—and he gave her a comforting smile, rubbing her shoulder softly. "Ready to go?"
Erin nodded, reaching down to lace their fingers together. "Ready," she replied and they made their exit, Erin waving everyone goodbye one last time, her team at SVU waving back, smiles on their faces—all happy for Erin to return home—no matter how much they'd miss her.
They had the rooftop to themselves, just like Erin had predicated and hoped for. Everyone else had probably opted to go for the many celebrations that were taking place in the City but all Erin needed was Jay to ring in the New Year with. She and Jay made their way up to the empty rooftop about fifteen minutes before the clock struck midnight, wanting to take in the atmosphere before the countdown began and the fireworks started.
Jay poured them champagne and handed her a glass as she huddled underneath her coat, trying to stay as warm as she could. It was snowing lightly, snow flurries coming down faintly gathering on the ground and some falling in her hair. Jay let out a soft laugh as he tenderly brushed away the flurries of snow that made it onto her face, Erin's eyes closing at his tender touch. They heard the faint sounds of the parties and celebrations that were happening around them but it only added to the atmosphere instead of detracting from it. She held her glass up and Jay clinked their glasses together, toasting each other as they waited for midnight.
"This is perfect," Erin broke the quietness as she settled in Jay's arms while they sat on the bench. "This is everything I'd hoped it would be." Jay kissed the side of her head, resting his lips on the cold skin, his arms hugging her tighter to him.
"It's almost time," Jay spoke into her skin as he held up his watch—Erin's present to him—and the watch read 11:59. She and Jay smiled at each other, ready to countdown to midnight and ring in 2020 together.
"5, 4, 3, 2..1!"
They counted down together as the atmosphere around them exploded, the nearby parties and celebrations out on the streets erupting in cheers and cries of "Happy New Year" but Erin and Jay were lost in their own world, their lips meeting in a passionate kiss, as the song Auld Lang Syne played softly around them, echoing from the neighboring buildings that were hosting their own New Year's parties.
"Happy New Year," Jay whispered as his hand caressed Erin's face.
"Happy New Year," Erin returned, face filled with happiness as she gazed into Jay's piercing blue eyes that stood out brightly against the dark atmosphere. Erin's own face was lit up by the start of the fireworks and she stood up, excited to watch the fireworks show that started to celebrate the New Year. She pulled Jay's hand to get him up and she made her way slowly over to the edge of the roof, leaning over to see the firework display that was taking place over the Hudson River, her rooftop giving them a perfect view of the annual show.
"Wow," Erin exclaimed in awe as the pyrotechnics exploded in the sky, the falling snow only adding to the beauty of it—the falling flakes changing and mirroring the colors as they fall from the sky. "It's so beautiful."
Jay agreed, draping the blanket they brought up over both of them as he stood behind her, wrapping them up underneath the soft material, enveloping them in a cocoon of warmth and love. He nuzzled her neck, feeling the soft strands of her hair against his face and he hummed his happiness. She turned into his touch, smiling widely when she felt him smile against her. She turned her attention back on to the view, the fireworks still exploding above them, and she didn't think she could be happier than she was in this moment.
She turned in his embrace and she brought her arms around Jay so she can softly play with the hair on the nape of his neck. "I love you," she said, eyes gazing into his. He grinned happily, leaning in to nuzzle their noses together, their lips ghosting over each other, their breaths blending together harmoniously.
"I love you too," he voiced, sincerity mixing in with the cold air. "So much," he added before crashing their lips together, sending both of them to their own heaven on earth. Erin pulled him closer to her, her arms making their way to his stomach so she can get him closer than close and he snaked his own arms around her back, tugging her flushed against him. There were no more needs for words, their lips would do all the talking needed, as they held each other as tight as they could, snow falling around them quieting all the noises, even the explosion of colors in the sky still happening in the distance.
And Erin just knew that in her heart that 2020 would be their year.
A/N: I got to say I'm going to miss the SVU team.
Anyways, I have had a couple of people PMing me about the future of this fic since the case with Stan has pretty much came to a close. And yes, I will be continuing the story as I still have a lot more planned in store for Erin and Jay so I just hope you guys stay with me as we move onto the next chapter for Linstead.