authors note: although the story is over, i might write special chapters like this every now and then
the glick who stole christmas
it was the night before christmas, a magical tiem when santa would bring new pokemon to all the good litl boys and girls of kanto. kids stayed up late dreaming of riding the new charizards they would be getting in the morning but all was not well in the pokemon world.
on a dingy miserabel place called cuck island, the home of all vgc cheaters and fake pokemon, a douchebag named wolfe glick was plotting his evil schemes.
"the people of kanto, so full of christmas joy" he sang.
"i cant wait to piss in their eggnog, and smash all their toys!"
wolfes raichu, the only real pokemon that was allowed on cuck island laffed at its masters christmas rhyme. the pair of villains got into wolfes car, and drove down to a house, which wolfe had scammed out of an old couple with his latest pyramid scheme. a sign that sayed "santas workshop" was put up by the door. before going inside, wolfe put on a fake white beard and a santa outfit before getting out the car. as he went inside a littel girl came up to him.
"are you santa?" she asked.
"NO FUCK OFF!" wolfe laffed as he knocked her out with a punch to the face.
after stealing the litl girls wallet, wolfe went inside his 'workshop'. he dropped a pile of pokeballs onto the back of a sleigh witch was inside.
"raichu, hand me the nice list" he asked.
the raichu chuckled and took out a blank sheet of paper which he throwed into the fire.
"good! now hand me the naughty list!"
the raichu taked out a list with the names of every1 in kanto on it and handed it to wolfe.
"excellent! now i have to wait for that fat fuck, santa to get back 2 his workshop."
wolfe sent out a bunch of hacked flying-type stantlers and tied them to his sleigh, which he flyed to the north pole. santa had already left to deliver the presents. while he waited for santa to get back, he wented into the workshop and gave all the elves swirlies, wedgies and stuck AIDS needles in their arms.
later in the night santa getted back and stepped out of his sleigh. "aaah, that was a good run, but now its time to unwind with some eggnog, hohoho!"
"not so fast, santa cuck!" wolfe jeered, as he broke santas kneecap with a lead pipe. "thats for the garbodor you left under my tree in 2016, you dick!"
"nonono!" santa cryed in pain as he clutched his knee.
"and thats not all!" wolfe telled him. "im goin out on my own sleigh to steal all the pokemon u just delivered lol. but dont wory il leve a nice christmas surprise 4 the houses of all the cucks i visit! hahaha!"
wolfe then getted onto his sleigh and flyed away. as the douchebag disapeared over the horizon santa taked out a phone and called for help. as he lied in the snow santa began singing a song.
"ur a mean one, mr glick!
u really r a cuck
u cheated in all your tourneys
u spread STDs when u fuck... mr glick
ur a bad sportsman, with a... level 999 golduck!"
meanwhile wolfe was climbing down a chimney, with his raichu on his shoulder. he slithered across the carpet, and found a pokeball under a christmas tree. he slipped it open, and sneaked a peak inside seeing a weezing. he grinned at his raichu, before dropping the pokeball into his sack and replacing it with a pokeball containing a galarian weezing. he then climbed up the chimney again to prey on his next victim.
"ur a monster, mr glick!
ur friends lists an empty hole
ur brain is full of autism
uve got fake pokemon in ur soul... mr glick!
i wouldnt kick you in your... 39 1/2 millimeter pole!"
wolfe continued his christmas heist, creeping threw a bedroom, where a bunch of kids were lying in bed with there new pokeballs in there arms. wolfe had his raichu use thief to take them all, and then he snuck past, dropping pokeballs containing hacked garbodors into their arms. he then threw a brick threw the window and jumped out, before throwing a pipe bomb at the christmas tree.
"ur a vile one, mr glick!
uve got dead bodys in ur van
u have all the redeeming qualities of a soyboy unova fan... mr glick!
given the choice between the 2 of u
id take the soyboy unova fan!"
sliding down the next chimney wolfe noticed a plate of cookies had been left out for santa. santa had only eaten 1 of them, before moving on. smiling wickedly at his raichu, wolfe took out a pair of tweezers and removed the chocolate chips from the remaining cookies. the raichu covered its face in horror, unable to watch what wolfe did next. wolfe reached into his pocket and replaced the chips hed taken with raisins.
he climbed back up the chimey again, but before he could move onto the next house he found the path back to his sleigh blocked by none other than verlis!
"welcome back wolfpack, verlis here" he sayed as he switched on his livestream. "here to bring you the latest update on disgraced vgc cheater, wolfe glick! apparently ruining an entire competitive game was not good enough for him, so now hes here to ruin the biggest holiday of the year too."
"i suppose you think ur goin 2 try and stop me" wolfe scoffed. "and i bet ur livestreaming so if i cheat, i can be disqualifyed. well livestream this, cuck!"
wolfe taked down his pants and showed his dick to the camera and started saying the n word as many times as he could. verlis had to take his stream off before twitch (realy gay site) would ban his account for shit outsie his control.
"santa telled me what u did and im not goin 2 let u ruin christmas" verlis sayed. "go arcanine!"
"fine" wolfe laffed. "go raichu!"
"arcanine use flare blitz!"
"wait stop!" wolfe interupted. "i havent picked my move yet."
"well pick it then" verlis telled him.
"i set a 12 hour timer for each turn in this battel" wolfe telled him. "now all i have to do is timerstall and christmas will already be runed before this battel is over lol. so if u attack me, that makes u the very thing u hate most. a cheater!"
dammit i cant stoop 2 his level verlis thinked. there has 2 be another way 2 stop him without cheating in the battel. wait i know! time to innovate! "arcanine, walk closer to wolfe!" verlis sayed.
"u cant do that, shitstain!" wolfe sayed. "i have 2 pick my move first!"
"this isnt an attack though" verlis sayed. "im just telling my mon to walk."
"whatever, cumguzzler. im just going to keep playing the clock like a fucking champ! hahaha!"
wolfe stalled for another 30 minutes but then a christmas miracle happened. the snow he was standing on began to melt and he lost his footing and fell off the roof.
"ah fuck! my fucking back!" he screamed in pain.
"lol" sayed verlis as he taked the sleigh wolfe was using (but replaced the hacked stantlers with real mons). "ill leave my arcanine here, and be back to finish the battel later. but for now i have to save christmas."
he used the sleigh to put back all the pokeballs that wolfe had stolen back, and since wolfes back was broken, and verlis still had 11 hours left on the timer, wolfe couldnt stop him. he finded the pokeballs filled with garbodors and other fake pokemon that wolfe had left in the kanto kids houses.
"i know what to do with these lol" he thinked to himself.
later that day he returned to the house to finish his battel with wolfe. he defeated wolfe once again and the cheater was deported back to cuck island by the kanto fbi.
"oh well at least we can celebrate christmas with some good ol turkey!" wolfe sayed to his raichu as they went back home.
but as he opened the door his eyes were meeted with an awful site. it was the hundreds of garbodors he had caught, all stinking up his house!