Pairings: Lavi/Allen + Neah/Lavi [slow burn]
Rating + warnings: T / no content warnings
Author's note: The final draft is finally done! There are three chapters left, including this one. Thank you for sticking with me for so long, and being so patient. Enjoy the chapter, and the end of the fic!
Silence filled the Black Order.
The soft light of the sun enveloped all it touched in its gentle embrace. A new day had dawned, and those that had survived the fall of the Black Order watched the dawn come to pass.
Allen and Neah watched the last remnants of the Millennium Earl drift up towards the brightening sky above their heads. They extended their arm, palm facing upwards, and felt the cold shadow that had cast itself upon their heart disappear.
Exhausted, they teetered for a moment before falling to their knees. They heard rushed footsteps, felt a hand upon their shoulder. They looked up and saw Lenalee, smiling through her tears. Allen managed a shaky smile before noticing Road stood not far behind, head buried in her hands, chest heaving with sobs. His smile fell.
Neah's presence built. He raised himself up with Lenalee's help, took a step forward, and pulled Road into a gentle embrace. Road buried her fingers into his shirt, weeping for the family she had lost, for the future she had spent several lifetimes working towards, now fallen into ruin. Neah said nothing, did nothing but hold her, eyes closed, tired beyond all comprehension of the word.
A heavy thud drew Neah's attention away from Road. Neah looked up and saw Lavi on his knees, chest heaving, many eyes and many faces flickering in-and-out of view.
Neah let go of Road and walked forward, expression softened by pity. Without a word, Neah reached down and held Lavi in his arms. Deep within, something ancient beyond measure reached out, calling out to something it knew as intimately as it knew its own soul.
Neah spoke, voice unfathomably gentle. "It's okay, you can stop now."
Neah pulled away and watched as the image of eyes and faces and feathered wings faded, replaced by Lavi's exhausted face, eyes closed, tattoo flashing for a moment before fading away.
Neah smiled, relief flooding through him, and held Lavi so tightly it hurt. Fear, grief, pain, doubt - it all faded away into nothingness. Neah felt Allen's presence build, could feel his relief alongside his own. There was no way either of them could convey with words just how relieved they felt, how much the both of them had expected to die, had expected to find Lavi dead. Having Lavi in their arms, safe and sound after everything they had gone through, was indescribable.
Lavi pulled away first, holding Neah's face in his hands, a shaky smile upon his face and tears in his eyes. Neah smiled and pressed his forehead against Lavi's own. Lavi let out a sigh, closing his eyes for a moment before pulling away just enough to place a gentle kiss upon Neah's forehead. Neah looked into Lavi's eyes, a myriad of emotions showing in his face, before pulling away fully so he could look around him.
He saw Road stood with her head in her hands, shoulders shaking. Lenalee stood by Road's side. She looked relieved, a shaky smile upon her face. The other members of the Black Order were tending to injuries, looking up at the sky above with awe, light spilling gently onto their exhausted faces.
Neah heard Lavi sigh and turned to see him with his head in his hands. Neah placed a hand on Lavi's shoulder, filled with concern.
"Are you okay?"
Lavi groaned. "I feel like someone's split my head open with my hammer." He faltered, voice becoming quiet. "I… I really lost it for a bit back then…"
Neah remembered Eve, her wrath, the sheer horrifying sight of her, and shuddered a little. "Yeah, just a bit. With the Earl gone, you should be fine though."
Lavi nodded and raised himself up fully. He turned to look at Neah, exhausted beyond measure, and tried his best to smile.
"We should… probably go check on everyone else."
Whether Lavi meant those in the hall, or those that had been injured and left behind, Neah didn't know. He helped Lavi walk, trying not to think about the heavy weight of the future and what surviving meant.
They stopped beside Lenalee and Road. Road looked up and met Lavi's gaze, eyes narrowing. Lavi swallowed thickly, unease gripping at his heart. Road seemed to debate something for a moment before shaking her head.
"If I'd known you were the Heart, Junior, I would have killed you back then on the Ark."
Lavi smiled weakly. "But ya didn't."
Road sighed, exasperated, which earned a laugh from Lenalee and Neah both. The sound of footsteps drew their attention towards Klaud, who looked at them all in turn before speaking.
"I'm going to report back to Tiedoll. He stayed behind with the injured." She gave Neah and Lavi a pointed look. "So, what do we do now?"
A somewhat tense silence descended upon them. Lenalee hesitated for a moment before speaking.
"Well… the Earl's gone… or at least I… I think he is?"
Road nodded, pain showing in her eyes. "What was once Adam's hatred is gone." She paused, looked up at Neah, and managed a weak smile. "The true spirit of Adam lives on in Neah, though."
Neah looked within himself and felt Allen's exhausted presence beside his own, as well as something else deep within, something ancient and powerful. It wasn't the cold shadow from before; it adhered to his will, instead of the other way around.
Neah sighed. "I guess he does."
Lavi elbowed Neah in the side, a teasing lilt to his voice. "Kinda funny being called the 'Destroyer of Time' when you both ended up becomin' the Earl in the end, huh?"
Neah thought it through in his head before looking up at Crown Clown. He felt Allen's presence build. Allen spoke, a soft smile upon his face.
"Actually, I think the prophecy was always about Crown Clown, not us."
Lavi looked up at Crown Clown and felt a connection to it deep within his heart. He thought of the emerald garden, the person that had haunted his dreams, everything that he still did not understand.
Lavi sighed. "Well… we gotta do somethin' about all this, don't we?"
Allen saw the uncertainty in Lavi's face, saw the same emotion in the faces of those around him, and felt the same thing within his own heart. He sighed.
"I know." He looked at his companion's faces each in turn before looking beyond to the darkened hallways of what was left of the Black Order, thinking of the mess that remained after all was said and done. "I think… I think we need to get everyone together."
Klaud turned to face Allen with a frown. "What do you mean by 'everyone'?"
"The Order… the Noah… I don't think anyone is going to have any idea what to do anymore."
Lavi thought of all who had lost their lives. He looked at Road, saw the grief in her eyes, and shook his head a little, expression grim.
"People are gonna want revenge for the dead. I don't think either side's gonna be chummy with each other, even with the Earl gone."
A tense silence enveloped them. Allen looked down at Road, anxiety clutching at his heart. She met his gaze, saw the fear in his eyes, and sighed. She looked over her shoulder to the darkness beyond, voice quiet, so quiet Allen almost didn't hear her words.
"I need to get back to… to my family." She turned to face Allen once more, a hesitant smile upon her face. "You should come with me. They're going to need you."
Allen felt Neah bristle within his mind and sighed. He knew the both of would have to somehow bridge the two sides, to find some kind of resolution that would bring everything to a close. How they would do that, Allen didn't know, but he knew it wasn't a decision he would be making on his own.
Road reached for Allen's hand with a smile. He took her hand in his own, looked over at Lavi and the others, and hesitated. Lavi exchanged a glance with Lenalee and Klaud before offering a tentative smile.
"It's okay. We'll go… we'll go find the other survivors."
Lenalee nodded. "We can talk things through with Tiedoll. We could do with some help in keeping order."
Allen saw the determination - however hesitant it was - in Lavi and Lenalee's eyes and tried to soothe the feeling of anxiety welling up within his heart. He turned his attention back to Road and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze before taking a step forward, Crown Clown following wordlessly behind.
On their way out of the hall, hurried footsteps were all the warning Allen got before finding himself buried in Johnny's shoulder. Marie was close behind, smiling through his tears. He placed a gentle hand on Allen's head.
"I'm glad you made it, Allen."
Allen managed a smile. He gave Johnny a gentle pat on the head and watche as Johnny pulled back, wiping away his tears with a sleeve.
Johnny managed a shaky smile, voice thick with emotion. "I'm… I'm so glad you're okay."
Allen nodded before looking out at the hall beyond, trying not to think about what was to come. He gave Johnny another pat on the head before gesturing to the hallway.
"I need to… we need to go sort some things out."
Johnny and Marie both exchanged a glance with Road, who immediately looked away, irritation showing in her expression. They shot Crown Clown a glance also, who did nothing more than stare off into the distance.
Johnny opened his mouth to speak, thought better of it, and then sighed. He turned to Marie, who gave Allen a reassuring smile.
"Do what you need to do. We'll be here when you come back."
Allen gave a hesitant smile. "Thanks, Marie."
And with that, Allen took a step forward, Road and Crown Clown by his side. The halls of the Black Order were almost unrecognisable, left in ruins. The ceiling had caved in almost entirely in places, leaving the building open to the sky above.
Allen passed before darkened shadows, shattered walls, and felt grief settle within his heart. He wanted, more than anything, to stay with Lavi and the others, to re-join the rest of the Black Order. His heart hurt at the thought of it, of being apart from those he saw as family while they recovered, grieved, and comforted one another.
But he knew attending to the Noah had to come first. He had to put aside his feelings, his selfish desires, and focus on what was before his eyes, first and foremost.
Within Allen's mind, Neah watched and waited, filled with tense apprehension. He knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that the Noah might not be willing to back down. Even with Adam's death, they likely wouldn't easily take orders from a once-traitor. Perhaps they would listen to Road, but Neah had no idea what Road was willing to accept either.
The scenario the Millennium Earl had spent an eternity working towards was shattered, in ruins. It was up to Neah - and Allen too, he supposed - what the Noah Family would now do, here at the end of all things.
At the end of a long corridor, they saw a Level Two, head darting this way and that, looking lost. Allen came to a halt, eyes narrowed. Road looked up at him, concerned.
"What's wrong?"
Allen opened his mouth to speak but found himself without words. He rubbed his eyes, looked forward again, and shook his head a little.
"I can't… I can't see that Akuma's soul."
Road tilted her head. "Your curse has been gone ever since you took on Adam's Noah Memory. You didn't realise?"
Allen raised a hand to the left side of his face, shock flooding through him. He nearly asked why but a memory came to mind unbidden; his first day at the Black Order, with Komui attending to his Innocence, his face solemn when he said what it meant to be cursed.
Allen gave a bitter smile, hand falling to his side. "Guess I'm not all that human anymore."
Road shook her head. "Did you forget what I told you back when we first met?" She grasped his hand, a teasing smile on her face. "We Noah are just as human as everyone else."
Allen couldn't help but laugh at that. It was strange to think back on it, his long since erased naïveté. The Noah had started out as people he hadn't wanted to fight, then people he recognised as his enemy, then people who were no different to himself, regardless of whether he wanted to accept that fact or not.
Knowing now wasn't the time to dwell on the past, Allen focused on what lay ahead. He and Road continued forward. The Akuma noticed them and made its way towards them, directing its words at Road - which wasn't surprising, given the somewhat complicated position Allen and Neah now held within the Noah Family.
"Mistress Road, what do we - ?"
"Instruct any other Akuma to come with us."
The Akuma shot a glance at Allen - who smiled as reassuringly as he could manage - before leaning forward to speak in a hushed whisper.
"Why are you here with the Fourteenth?"
Road opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by Allen's voice. He sounded curt, almost laughably stern.
"I'm the new Earl, so no calling me the Fourteenth."
Road raised an eyebrow. "Isn't Neah the one who holds that title?"
Allen huffed. "We're both carrying the Earl's Noah Memory so he'll just have to deal with it."
Neah, observing from within Allen's mind, rolled his eyes but said nothing. The Akuma, confused and bewildered, hesitated for a moment before sighing and going on ahead. Allen wondered for a moment if the Akuma would obey the orders it had been given, if any of them would listen to him, but he could feel an inexplicable connection with them. It wasn't the same as when he was cursed. No, this time it was as if his very heart was bonded to them.
Sighing, knowing it was going to be difficult adjusting to what had changed, Allen tried not to think about what lay ahead. As Allen and Road continued onward, Neah spoke up from within their mind, voice holding a teasing lilt to it.
So, you're the new Earl, huh? What's the plan, then?
Allen huffed. "We're both the Earl so don't think you can get out of helping me with this."
Road looked to one side, pretending she couldn't hear Allen's half of the conversation. Oblivious to this, Allen focused on Neah's response, which was a nonchalant shrug.
Sure, I'll help, but I don't think there's a lot we can do to stop things from kicking off again.
"We have to try, don't we?"
Neah sighed. Yeah, but don't get your hopes up. Even with us being the new Earl, technically, that doesn't mean they're all gonna obey us.
Allen's face fell, the hope that had appeared within his heart dissipating a little. He had only ever focused on saving Mana, on destroying the Earl. Now, at the end of all things, he somehow had to find a way forward.
Road seemed to notice Allen's discontent, and when she spoke, her voice was gentle, filled with an emotion that Allen couldn't quite place.
"Whatever you choose to do, I'll stand by your side." Allen came to a halt, eyes wide. Road met his gaze and smiled, taking his hand in her own. "I know you'll do what's best for both sides. It's in your nature. However -" Road squeezed Allen's hand so tightly it hurt, tone turning murderous "- if you betray our family, I won't forgive you."
Allen knew exactly what not being forgiven meant in Road's book and gave a hesitant laugh in response. Road let go of his hand and walked onward, leaving Allen and Neah to both let out a sigh of relief.
How exactly they would go about things, they didn't know, but they knew they would have to find some way of uniting both sides, to be the grey between the black and white.
It was the path they had chosen, and they would walk it to the very end.
A bright shaft of sunlight drew Allen and Neah away from their thoughts toward a cluster of figures in the distance, stood at the edge of the hall before them. A group of Finders were standing their ground before a number of Akuma. Behind them were two people Allen felt before he saw them; their blood called to his own, their souls inexplicably linked.
Neah drew to the forefront. Road ran ahead, Neah not far ahead. Without hesitation, he called to the dark matter within himself and felt his connection to the Akuma before him. He spoke within his mind, an order no Akuma could resist. The Akuma before him, as well as Akuma throughout the Order, all stopped and looked upward, black stars upon their foreheads.
Stop fighting.
The Finders turned, expressions visibly falling at what they thought was back-up for the other side. Road ignored them, ignored the Akuma, and pulled Tyki and Jasdevi into a tight hug. They held her for a moment before looking up, meeting Neah's gaze with confusion at first, then bewilderment.
Neah didn't need to explain it; the other Noah knew, without a shadow of a doubt, who he was now. No longer the traitor in their midst but their leader; the irony of it was far from lost on any of them in that moment.
Tyki didn't say anything, not at first. It was as if he was looking at Neah for the first time - silver hair, golden eyes, stigmata upon his forehead, the curse that marred his face no longer present. He could sense the full presence of Adam's Noah Memory within him, and it was hard not to look at the sentient Innocence trailing behind him either.
Tyki gave a wry smile, exhaustion lining every inch of his face. "So, what's the plan, Earl?"
The Finders behind him took a step back, fear in their eyes, glancing between the curiously placid Akuma to the Noah stood before them.
Neah grimaced. "That just doesn't sound right."
Tyki grinned. "What about Fourteenth?" Neah glared, saying without words exactly how he felt about it. Tyki huffed. "Fine, I'll just call you what I always do." He looked around and noticed the fearful looks he was being given by the nearby Finders. He turned and raised an eyebrow at Neah. "Seriously though, what the fuck do we do now?"
Neah could see the carefully veiled fear in Tyki's face, the uncertainty. The same fear was in Jasdevi's eyes too. He could only imagine how they were feeling - leader gone, siblings dead, left with no idea of what they were even fighting for - and felt both disdain and pity settle within his heart.
Despite everything they had put him through, deep down Neah knew even he couldn't abandon them now.
Neah met Road's gaze, saw the same uncertainty in her eyes, and shrugged. "I have no idea. With Adam dead, things are different now."
Tyki smirked. "Not gonna continue the Earl's 'grand scenario', are ya?"
Neah scoffed. "I'd rather fucking die."
Tyki and Road both couldn't help but laugh at that. Jasdevi refused to speak, looking at Neah as if he'd grown multiple heads. Neah turned to the Akuma, noticed they were awaiting further orders, and considered for a brief moment making them all unanimously self-destruct. Allen's instant rebuttal was expected.
Don't. You. Dare.
Neah shook his head with a smile. "Don't worry, I learned my lesson."
Neah raised a hand and gave his order, watching with a pang of curiosity as the Akuma obeyed. They left the hall without a word, leaving the Finders bewildered and ill at ease. One of them stepped forward, voice shaking.
"Wh-where are they going?"
Neah beamed. "Back to the Ark. If they stay here you're just gonna destroy them."
The Finders all exchanged a glance, visibly confused. Another stepped forward, eyebrows furrowed, disbelief showing in his voice.
"Why aren't you…?"
Neah blinked. "Why am I… what?"
"Why aren't you killing us?"
Neah raised an eyebrow. "What, do you want to die?" The Finders gaped in response, mouths hanging open. Neah sighed, tone exasperated. "Do what you want. Go find other survivors, cry in a corner, I don't care. We're not gonna do anything to you."
That seemed good enough for the Finders. They left without hesitation, frequently looking back over their shoulders at the Noah before taking off at a run. Tyki and Jasdevi both couldn't help but laugh at it. Neah and Road exchanged a glance before turning to their siblings.
"We need to find the others."
Road's tone was firm, devoid of uncertainty. Jasdevi tilted their head, confused. "You mean…?"
"The rest of our stupid family, yeah."
Neah didn't realise what his words meant until he found himself in Tyki's grasp, nearly choking from the arm around his neck
"Aww, he said 'our' family." Tyki turned to Road with a grin. "Only took him, what, forty years?"
Road laughed. Neah shoved his elbow into Tyki's stomach, practically seething with anger. "Touch me again and I'll make sure your stupid soul never reincarnates."
Tyki backed away, hands raised in a placating gesture. Neah huffed, brushing himself down for a moment - ignoring Allen's laughter within their mind - and focused on the feeling of connection within his heart.
Neah closed his eyes and noted those that were dead, souls awaiting reincarnation - Wisdom, Pity, Judgement, Ability, Corrosion, Wrath, and Desire - and those that remained. Other than those that were before him, he could feel Lulubell somewhere within the Order.
Neah opened his eyes and turned to Jasdevi, pointing a finger at them commandingly. "Go find Lust and bring her back here!"
Jasdevi blinked before pulling a face, tone outraged. "Why us?!"
Road shot them a look that said without words what would happen if they disobeyed. With an audible gulp, knowing how terrifying Road could be, Jasdevi left the hall.
Tyki waited a moment before raising an eyebrow. "What about me?"
Neah gave a disgusted noise. "I don't care, go die or something."
Tyki sighed. "Still as difficult as ever, aren't ya?"
Neah didn't respond, turning his nose up at his unwanted sibling. Tyki grumbled but said not a word, knowing nothing fun would come of it.
Road observed their interactions with a smile, knowing it was better than them trying to kill each other. She waited a moment before drawing Neah's attention, tone inquisitive and a little teasing in nature.
"So, what are we going to do when Lulubell arrives?"
"We're gonna get everyone on the Ark and have a nice little chat about everything."
Road raised an eyebrow. "A 'chat'?"
Neah frowned. "Yeah, what else would I mean?"
"Oh, I don't know, murdering everyone again?"
Neah huffed. "That was in self-defence."
"No, it was excessive."
Neah nearly responded before Tyki cut him off, the serious tone to his voice drawing his attention.
"So, we talk, and then what?"
Neah saw the uncertainty in Tyki's eyes, the tense way he was holding himself, and wondered how exactly he and his stubborn host would navigate this situation. He could feel Allen's trepidation, but there was hope there also, and Neah knew he couldn't lie down and die, not just yet.
Neah looked out at the hall, tone pensive. "Well, if a certain eyepatched idiot does his job right, we can get out of this without fighting more."
Tyki raised an eyebrow. "You really think the Order's gonna step down? We're 'evil', remember?"
Neah scoffed. "They can think whatever they want. I don't give a single fuck about Adam's 'scenario' and I'm gonna do what feels best. Everyone else can just deal with it."
Road smiled wryly. "I don't think Allen will let you off that easily."
Neah pulled a face, trying to ignore the smug look Allen was giving him within their mind. He stretched an arm above his head with a wince, letting out a heavy sigh before hearing the sound of footsteps. He looked up and smiled, voice light-hearted and playful.
"Well, let's see just how badly this goes wrong, shall we?"
Lavi, Lenalee, and the remnants of the Black Order made their way through the ruins of their home, exhausted beyond all comprehension of the word.
They made their way back to the hall where the Order had fought the Level Five, having been informed by Klaud that it's where Tiedoll and the injured were based. All they really wanted to do was lie down and rest, but rest would have to come later. There was more to be done, and that sentiment clutched at Lavi's heart, so strongly it almost hurt.
After scrambling over rock and stone, they stepped into the hall where the Level Five had met its untimely end, ceiling open to the encroaching dawn. What remained of the rest of the Black Order filled the hall. Those that were dead were hidden by coats, obscuring them from view. Stood around them were those that were grieving.
Lavi came to a halt, Lenalee not far behind. Lavi looked around the hall, too exhausted to process what he was seeing. After a few moments, he caught the eye of someone who made their way towards him.
Tiedoll stood before them, uniform tattered and blood-stained. He looked as exhausted as Lavi felt, and Lavi could see grief flickering in Tiedoll's eyes. Neither of them spoke, and in the silence the fluttering of wings, a flash of gold, caught Lavi's attention.
Timcanpy landed on Lavi's head, gave a contented sound, and settled down. Lavi patted it gently before managing a weak smile, which Tiedoll returned just as weakly. Lavi looked over Tiedoll's shoulder, saw the bodies of the dead, and immediately turned his gaze away. He didn't want to know who hadn't made it; not yet. Grief could claim his heart and will to fight in time.
For now, there was still more to be done.
Tiedoll coughed into his hand before speaking, voice strained from exhaustion. "Is the Earl...?" Lavi nodded. Tiedoll looked over Lavi's shoulder at Lenalee before continuing. "And what of Al- the Fourteenth?"
"He's gone with Road to go talk to the Noah."
Tiedoll visibly stiffened, eyes narrowing a little. "For what purpose?"
Lenalee cut in with a weak smile. "To stop the fighting."
Tiedoll didn't need to express his disbelief; it was clear from the expression on his face. Lavi knew it wouldn't just be him. The likelihood of the remaining survivors from the Black Order believing that the Noah would stop fighting, never mind agree to a truce, was incredibly slim.
Lavi didn't envy Allen and Neah. Treading that middle ground between both sides was going to be difficult, but they weren't going to do it alone.
Lavi raised himself up a little higher, trying to ignore his exhaustion, his fear and doubt. Tiedoll seemed to notice the sudden conviction in Lavi's eyes and settled a little, just enough to show he was willing to listen.
Tiedoll rubbed at his temples with a sigh. "All I want to do right now is lie down and take a long nap, but -" he lowered his hand and did his best to smile "- if I leave you children with the responsibility of fixing this, we're all going to die."
Lavi and Lenalee couldn't help but laugh at that. Tiedoll gestured at them to follow behind, and so they did, walking past the injured, the dead, and the grieving. Lavi and Lenalee did their best not to look at the unmoving bodies of the dead.
They caught Link's eye as they passed by him, Atuuda swirling around his patients, hair streaked with silver. He gave them a nod before moving onto the next person, face lined with exhaustion. They also noticed Miranda sat in a far corner, Krory and Timothy both sat by her side.
Marie rushed forward and joined them, placing a concerned hand on Miranda's shoulder. Lavi and Lenalee both knew what awaited them all when Miranda's Innocence deactivated, and neither wanted to think about it overly much.
Eventually, they came to a halt before two familiar figures; Kanda, with Chaoji by his side, both looking exhausted beyond measure. Lenalee rushed forward and pulled Kanda into a tight hug, relief flooding through her so keenly that it brought tears to her eyes. Kanda winced a little and patted Lenalee's back before looking up at Lavi.
An emotion Lavi couldn't name flickered in Kanda's eyes – something like fear, uncertainty – but neither of them said a word. Lavi felt his throat tighten as he remembered the earlier battle with Apocryphos, what would become of Kanda once Miranda deactivated her Innocence, but there would be time to grieve later.
Chaoji gave both Lenalee and Lavi a nod before closing his eyes, right arm cradled in a sling, looking more tired than either of them had ever seen him look before.
Kanda gave Chaoji a quick glance before lowering his gaze and reaching for something beside him. He picked up a small, glowing object, something that called to Lavi and clutched at something deep within his heart. Kanda handed the shard of Innocence to Lavi, expression hard to read.
Lavi frowned, turning the Innocence over in his hand, trying to ignore the throbbing sensation in his chest.
"Where did you...?"
"It's Apocryphos, or was at least."
Lavi's eyes widened. He tried to remember what had happened earlier – Kanda's blade in Apocryphos's chest, the blood pooling beneath Kanda's body, despair and wrath, then absolutely nothing. Lavi tried to ignore the uneasy feeling within him, and focused on the task at hand.
"So, Apocryphos is gone, and the Earl's dead..." Lavi gave a weary smile. "What the fuck do we do now?"
Lenalee looked up at Lavi with apprehension in her eyes. "Well..." she faltered before continuing, a dim sense of faith overshadowing her doubt. "Allen will talk to the Noah, and we -"
"Somehow have to convince a bunch of people who are grieving to stop fightin' with the guys that tried to kill them."
The cynicism in Lavi's voice was palpable. Chaoji opened his eyes at that, a hard look in them that said without words how difficult a task that would be, for him personally at least.
Tiedoll hesitated for a moment before speaking, trying his best to sound light-hearted. "Well, surely this is your area of expertise, being a Bookman and all?"
Lavi replied, deadpan. "Ex-Bookman."
Tiedoll blinked before shrugging. "Well, you still have your experience as one."
"Nope. Don't remember basically any of it."
Tiedoll faltered, opened his mouth to speak, and then sighed. "I see."
The atmosphere became noticeably tense. For a moment, no-one said anything, not until Lenalee spoke up.
"We... we have to try." She raised herself up, conviction in her eyes. "We have to do something. Otherwise the fighting will never stop."
Lavi, Kanda, and Chaoji exchanged a glance before looking over at Tiedoll, who looked out at the hall before sighing.
"I know." He fell silent for a moment, eyebrows furrowed in concentration, before he continued, voice firm. "I'll do what I can to convince the rest of the Order to at least agree to a ceasefire. I suppose we'll also need a group of people to speak to the Noah Family."
The others nodded. Chaoji opened his mouth to speak then decided against it, cursing under his breath.
Lavi looked down at the Innocence in his hand, threw it up for a moment before catching it, and then gave a grim smile.
"Well, better get started, huh?"
The perpetual summer sunshine of the Ark was almost disorienting after the darkness of the Black Order.
Neah and the remnants of the Noah Family made their way through the Ark's city streets. Akuma, awaiting orders with as much patience as they were capable of, could be found here and there, sat upon stone or hovering above the white brick buildings.
Eventually, they came to a familiar room, one Neah knew well. A grand piano sat against one wall, a couch against another.
Neah sat down on the piano stool, watching as Road raised herself up to sit upon the piano itself. Lulubell sat on the couch, foot tapping impatiently. Jasdevi sat on the floor, eyeing the others in the room with narrowed eyes. Tyki stood near the door, lit cigarette poised between his lips. Crown Clown remained outside, eyeing the nearby Akuma with suspicion.
A tense silence enveloped the room. Neah felt Allen's hesitation alongside his own - though he didn't want the rest of the Noah to know he felt hesitant, of course - and knew that it was going to be a difficult conversation.
Road was the first to speak, voice quiet, a little hoarse. "It's… sad. So many of us aren't…"
Neah looked up at her, saw the grief in her eyes, and sighed. He looked at the remnants of the Noah Family - his family now, as much as he hated to admit it - and wondered what the right course of action would be.
To his surprise - though, in a way, it wasn't really all that surprising - he felt Allen state a wordless request, presence building alongside Neah's own. Neah hesitated, wondering if it was really the best thing to do, but in the end he wasn't particularly eager to negotiate.
Allen raised himself up a little taller, taking stock of where he was for a moment - the smell of Cross's cigarette smoke, Lenalee's arms around him, a shadow in his mind, confusion and dread and all that he did not understand - before speaking.
"Before now, the Earl wanted you all to make his 'scenario' come true, didn't he? But was it something any of you actually wanted?"
The Noah looked over at him. A somewhat awkward silence descended upon the room before Tyki spoke up, exhaling a cloud of smoke as he did so.
"Well, can't speak for anyone else, but I just went along with it. He gave me food and somewhere to stay. It was fun ordering Akuma around, killing humans, and taking on your stupid organisation." Allen gave a hesitant laugh, rubbing the back of his head. Tyki gave a bitter smile, looking out of the door at the street outside. "And it's all gone to shit."
Jasdevi shrugged. "We went along with it too. Never understood it much."
Tyki snorted. "'Course you didn't."
Jasdevi stuck out their tongue before continuing. "Whatever. It was fun, fighting the stupid Exorcists."
Tyki and Jasdevi turned towards Lulubell, who shrugged. "I never particularly understood the Earl's aims, but…" she sighed, voice taking on a hard edge "… I owed him everything. He gave us life, a purpose.
Road sighed, tucked her knees up towards her, and spoke in a subdued tone. "He did. His 'scenario'… it was all going to plan up until… well…" Road gestured at Allen "… until Neah and Mana came into the picture."
Jasdevi huffed. "Yeah, it's all their fault!"
Neah bristled within Allen's mind, but Allen waved a placating internal hand at him, knowing arguing wouldn't solve anything. Neah muttered under his breath but did nothing.
Road continued, voice softening. "No, it wasn't their fault." She gave a sad smile. "It was Adam in the end who lost his way."
Silence, before Tyki cut in, confusion evident in his voice. "Yeah, that's something I don't get. You talk about 'Adam' and 'Mana', then it turns out they're the same person! Or…" he looked over at Allen and squinted "… or were they were sorta like those two, with the whole body sharing deal?"
Road sighed. "I'm… not sure."
Silence descended upon them. Allen felt Neah's presence build beside his own, and knew it wasn't his place to answer that sort of question. When he felt ready, Neah spoke up, voice tinged with bitterness.
"I think… in the end, they clearly weren't the same person, were they? 'Adam' and 'Mana' were different. And Mana…" Neah swallowed thickly, struggling to keep the emotion out of his voice. "… Mana was just a puppet for Adam. He never wanted this. Adam was the one who fucked this up."
Lulubell raised an eyebrow. "And not you?"
Neah huffed. "Look, listen, I'm not saying I haven't messed up sometimes."
Tyki cut in, voice deadpan. "A lot."
Neah glared at him, irritation rising. "Sure, whatever. The point is we're in this mess because Adam lost his fucking mind. It's not my fault that his personal vendetta against me ruined his own goddamn plans."
Lulubell looked over at Road, voice filled with disbelief. "Is that really what happened?"
Road sighed. "Yes, it is. I tried to stop him. I tried to make him realise that he was straying away from the scenario. Everything with the Level Five, with Mana, with Neah… he was blinded by his hatred."
"So… what do we do now?"
Jasdevi sounded serious for once, voice quiet, filled with uncertainty. Neah and Road exchanged a glance. Road nodded, saying without words that she trusted Neah to do what he felt was needed. Neah debated handing over to Allen again, if not just to avoid the responsibility of it all, but it wasn't worth the effort in the end.
Neah raised himself up, voice firm. "Well, for starters, I'm not gonna fulfil the Earl's scenario."
Tyki snorted. "Yeah, no shit."
Neah sighed, exasperated. "Do you have to cut in with your sardonic bullshit every five seconds?!"
Tyki shot him an irritated look, but Road cut in before either of them could continue bickering.
"Stop. This is annoying enough as it is."
Tyki grumbled but didn't say anything. Neah sighed, rubbed the back of his neck, and tried to ignore how tired he felt.
"So… there's some shit we need to sort out, isn't there?" Everyone in the room gave Neah an exasperated look. He sighed, frustrated. "Look, I have no fucking idea what we're supposed to do. All I can tell you is the Earl's plan to eradicate all of humanity is bullshit and I couldn't care less about it."
"That doesn't answer anything." Lulubell raised herself up, pacing back and forth. "What about those that died? Will they reincarnate? What do we do with the Akuma? What do we do about the Black Order?" She pointed a finger at Neah, eyes narrowed and more cat-like than they normally would be. "You're our leader now, aren't you? So take responsibility and figure this out!"
Neah raised a placating hand. "Okay, okay! I know! I'm fucking trying, okay?" He glanced at everyone in the room. "Anyone got any bright ideas?"
No-one said anything, not at first, but eventually Road spoke up, eyes fixed on the tiled floor beneath her.
"All I care about is keeping our family safe." Road shot Neah a pointed look. "I know you care for Lavi, and I know he probably won't try and kill us all, but the Black Order probably won't agree to anything but our deaths."
Neah shifted a little at the comment about Lavi, trying to ignore the smirks both Jasdevi and Tyki were throwing his way, but he knew Road was right. He felt Allen's presence beside his own, could feel his restlessness and eagerness to help. He sighed, closed his eyes, and let him come to the forefront.
Road noted the shift but said nothing, watching as Allen opened his eyes and raised a hand to the stump where his left arm used to be with a sigh. He took his time, thinking carefully about what he wanted to say. Eventually, he spoke up, pensive and full of thought.
"The Order probably do want you all to die." He gave a bitter laugh. "Some of them might not want me to be alive either. But they're not the good guys here, none of us are. Apocryphos, the truth about why the Black Order was formed, the truth about Innocence…" Allen raised himself up, a hard edge to his voice. "We all have crimes to answer for."
Tyki gave a derisive snort. "Like hell they'll admit that. As far as they care, we murdered their family and friends. We tried to destroy humanity. We still have an army of Akuma at our disposal. You really think they'll stand down?"
"Then we have to make some sacrifices." Allen's tone was firm, resolute. Road shot him a look at the word 'sacrifice', but he ignored her. "I know some of the Black Order won't want to meet us in the middle. It depends on whether Central will step in or not."
"Central is gone."
Allen faltered, looking over at Lulubell with a frown. "They're… what?"
"Part of what we were ordered to do was eradicate them. That's why we targeted all of the branches of the Order. All your cardinals, all your Great Generals - they're all dead. We made sure of it."
Allen couldn't reply for a moment, torn between feeling horrified and strangely relieved.
Neah gave a derisive snort from within their mind. Well, they made our job easier with that.
Allen ignored him. He went over it in his mind, knowing that the Black Order couldn't exist if most of its members were dead, or if they had abandoned the cause. He sighed, wondered how easily they could desert the Vatican, and tried not to think about the long-term consequences.
Allen sighed. "Either way, if there isn't an enemy to fight, they'd have no reason to keep fighting."
"That's the problem, though, isn't it?" Road's voice had a hard edge to it. "Our very existence can be taken as a threat. Even if we got rid of all of the Akuma, destroyed the factory, destroyed both the Arks… would they let us live?"
Allen couldn't respond to that. He thought about what it meant; to be betwixt and between both sides of the war. Exorcist and Noah, accommodator and heir of Adam's Noah Memory - he had to do something, had to find a way to bridge the two sides somehow.
How he did that was the problem.
A thought suddenly came to mind, making his eyes widen, body tense up, before he managed to relax. He could feel Neah stir beside him, felt his doubt and uncertainty, and tried his best to sound resolute.
"Road…" she turned to face him, curiosity in her gaze "… what would happen if we lost our Noah Memories?"
Road froze, eyes widening. She couldn't respond for a moment, seeing no malice in Allen's eyes, no ulterior motive; only concern. She looked over at the other Noah, saw the uncertainty in their eyes, the fear, and sighed.
"Well… for that to happen, the Millennium Earl would have to no longer exist. His -" Road sighed, shaking her head a little "- your Noah Memory holds the source of our power, providing the way for us to reincarnate."
Tyki looked over at Allen with a scowl. "What're you suggesting, boy? If we lost our Noah Memory, wouldn't we be - ?"
"Human. We'd all be human."
Allen's voice was quiet, pensive. The others all turned to look at him. Neah felt Allen's conviction, could feel a rising sense of understanding within their heart.
Lulubell spoke up, eyes narrowed, tone seething. "So, what you're suggesting is we get rid of the only power that we have."
Jasdevi gave a derisive snort. "Like hell we'd just lie down and become stupid humans! And wouldn't…" they faltered, a trace of fear entering their voice "… would the two of us still be like this? What if we - ?"
"And it's besides the point, ain't it?" Tyki walked forward, giving Allen a firm, hard look. "How would we lose our Noah Memory to start with? Ask the nice little Exorcists to kindly destroy us? How do you know we'd even be human in the end and not just die?"
"We wouldn't die." Road's voice was firm, devoid of uncertainty. Tyki turned to her, expression softening. "It would mean we wouldn't reincarnate, and we'd lose our connection to each other." She sighed and buried her head in her hands, voice shaking a little. "The only thing keeping us together as a family is our Noah Memory. I don't know if I can…"
Road fell silent. Allen looked down at his feet, consumed by doubt and indecision. He felt Neah's presence beside his own, felt his own doubt, his own fear.
Tyki sighed and sat down on the floor, looking up at the ceiling with a pensive expression.
"You know… sure, all of us being Noah meant we banded together." Road looked up at that, wiping away her tears with a shaking hand. "But it was never really about that. Most of us hated each other -" Jasdevi let out a derisive snort "- and the Earl was always thinking about his scenario instead of us anyway. It was always a farce."
Road nearly interrupted, but Lulubell cut in. "What he's trying to say, rather badly -" Tyki huffed at that but said nothing "- is what would change, aside from losing our power, the ability to come back after death?"
Jasdevi grumbled. "We like our powers. It'd be so boring if we didn't have them."
Lulubell hesitated then sighed. "Losing the ability to shapeshift would make life rather boring."
Tyki sighed. "Same here. What good is being on this planet if I can't phase through walls and rip out people's organs?"
Neah gave a derisive snort within Allen's mind. Is he serious? His voice took on a mocking tone. 'What good is life if I can't rip out organs?' Come on.
Allen couldn't help but laugh at that. He raised an eyebrow at Tyki, a teasing lilt to his voice. "What about cheating random strangers on trains of their Earthly possessions?"
Tyki laughed, shaking his head a little. "Sure, I guess." He paused, expression softening. "And I guess I wouldn't have to feel so torn in two all the damn time either." Road looked over at him at that, expression softening. Tyki continued, uncertainty creeping its way into his voice. "But… I don't know. What would that mean for you anyway, boy?"
Allen blinked a few times, confused, before realising what Tyki meant. He raised a hand to his left shoulder, chest throbbing a little.
"I… I don't know. We'd have to… we'd have to figure out what to do about the Innocence too." He looked out the door, knowing Crown Clown was nearby, and sighed. "I don't know."
Tyki's expression softened. Allen looked almost painfully young in that moment. He was scared, vulnerable. He was the leader of the Noah Family, by all rights, but in that moment he seemed nothing more than a frightened teenager, lost in the dregs of a war no-one wanted to keep fighting, but had no idea how to stop.
Silence descended upon the room. In the silence, Road raised a hand to her chest, eyes closed. She faltered for a moment before speaking, a hard edge to her voice.
"Before now, if you'd even dared to suggest to me that we lose our Noah Memories, I would have killed you." Allen looked over at her, but she kept her eyes closed. "We were… we were betrayed by God. We lost everything. Adam… he promised us that we'd reclaim what we were owed, that we would get our revenge."
"Revenge for what?"
There was curiosity in Allen's voice, as well as a sense of understanding, which he didn't quite understand. Something ancient and undying stirred within his soul - no home to return to, no God to worship, only ruins and dust, only hatred, so much hatred - and left him feeling disoriented. Neah felt it too, felt that same sense of connection, of feeling part of something bigger than themselves.
Road shook her head, unable to answer Allen's question. She curled up into herself a little, voice wavering.
"It… it doesn't matter. Marian once…" Allen sat up a little, eyes widening "… Marian once told me to fight my Noah Memory, to not let it control me." Road laughed, voice tinged with bitterness. "It made me want to kill him."
Lulubell raised a hand to her chest and spoke, voice soft, almost gentle. "It was something to take pride in, wasn't it?"
Road looked over at her and nodded, a trace of a smile on her face. "It was."
Was, not is - it occurred to the Noah in that moment all that had changed, all that had been lost to hatred, lofty goals of an ancient creature that cared not for them, only revenge. Road sighed and buried her head in her hands.
A tense silence descended upon the room. The sound of a match broke the silence. The flicker of flame cast shadows against Tyki's face. The smell of smoke reminded Allen and Neah of Cross so keenly it hurt. They flinched a little and looked away, eyes closed, grief sitting in the pit of their stomach.
Tyki considered his words carefully for a moment before speaking, voice low, a hard edge to it.
"'Noah's hatred'… that's what got Adam in the end, wasn't it?" A rhetorical question, one that no-one answered. Tyki sighed, smoke leaving his parted lips. "He was just a puppet to his Noah Memory."
Neah took over in an instant. He couldn't help but laugh at it, the sheer irony of it all. Tyki looked over at him, eyebrow raised, but Neah spoke before Tyki could continue.
"You're right. He was just a puppet."
Neah shook his head. He thought of Mana, of all that he had been forced into, all that the both of them had been forced into. In the end, Adam had only been a puppet to his own hatred, and Neah knew that could have been him too.
If everything had gone to plan, Allen erased, Cross by his side to guide him along his path, maybe he would've been nothing more than a puppet in the end.
Neah thought of Allen, of the fierce determination he held, his endless capacity for hope. He thought of Lavi, of all the moments he'd been by his side, a hand in his own, patience and understanding and all that he had lost.
Neah smiled, voice so quiet only Road heard him clearly. "I'm glad it ended up this way in the end."
No-one responded, knowing those words weren't meant for any of them. Road and Allen both smiled, knowing Neah well enough to understand what he meant.
Silence descended upon them, but there was a trace of tentative hope, there, in the room with them. Neah sat up a little, stretched an arm above his head with a wince, and then stood. He looked over at the other Noah - his family, connected to his heart, his very soul - and spoke with conviction.
"We're not gonna be a bunch of puppets."
Road looked up at him, saw the fierce determination in his eyes, and smiled with a shake of her head. She jumped down from the piano, met Neah's gaze, and spoke with a teasing lilt to her voice.
"So, what do we do now, o' patriarch?"
Neah rolled his eyes a little and said nothing, not at first. He felt Allen's presence beside his own, determined, uncertain, clinging to hope. Neah looked out the open door, took in a deep breath, and let it out.
"We talk to them. There's nothing else we can do."