For this story, I decided not to include a description at the very beginning. You have the figure out the story for yourself.
As Peter got himself back up after his fall, a driver on a motorbike passed by him carrying a sub-machine gun.
RATATATTATATATATTATTA!
Peter was shot in the chest five times.
"PETER!" Everyone screamed as they ran towards him.
"Somebody get an ambulance!" Newton said.
"On it!" Stan said, taking his phone out.
The gunner who shot Peter was in turn gunned down by the police.
"Stay with us, Peter!" Karin said.
Vision started fading in Peter's face. He could feel Karin applying pressure. The next thing he felt was two hospital workers carrying him onto the ambulance. Soon, he was taken to a hospital.
"The ginger kids were responsible for the attempted assassination of Peter Caldwell, he's under critical condition right now. In the meantime, leader of the ginger kids, Erin, has had her escape helicopter gunned down by the military." A reporter said.
Newton walked out of the operating room.
"Is he going to be okay?" Stan said.
"Yes." Newton said.
"Hooray!" Everyone cried.
"But he's still needs medical attention."
"What are we going to do while he recovers?" Wendy asked.
"Tell stories?" Kyle suggested.
"Yeah!" Everyone agreed.
"Hey Newton, tell us the story of how you and Peter met each other." Cartman suggested.
"I have a better idea. I have a story to tell. It is a famous story told by legends. This is the story of Star Wars..."
A long time ago... In a galaxy far, far away...
Music: You get the idea.
STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE...
It is the period of civil war... But still, this is technically the future since there are no blasters back in the days. Also, the bad guy is the father of the good guy. But we know it and they don't. Also, why is the princess the sister of the good guy? We were shipping the characters together until this plot twist happened. But we have to keep it faithful to the source material.
Anyway, this happened...
A rebel ship was recently captured by the Star Destroyer.
"Okay, what button do I press?" Leia (Wendy Testaburger) asked.
(TIMMY!) R2-D2 (Timmy) replied.
Leia pressed record.
"Obi-Wan. You're my only hope." Leia said.
After the transmission...
"Okay, what button do I press now?" Leia asked.
(Transfer.)
"You know what? I'll just send you to Tatooine."
R2-D2 and another droid, C-3PO (Jimmy) were loaded into an escape pod. As they drove off, Leia was captured by Stormtroopers. The troopers took them to their master, Darth Vader (Cartman).
"Where are the Death Star plans?" Vader asked.
"I've hidden them on Tatooine." Leia said.
"Keep her with us. The Death Star is almost ready to go."
"Yes sir." The Stormtroopers remarked.
The escape pod landed on Tatooine near the home of Luke Skywalker. Upon seeing it crash near his home, Luke (Kyle Brofloski) ran outside to get R2-D2 and C-3PO.
"Whoa, you two are rebels!" Luke awed.
"Yes, we have a m-m-m-message for Obi-Wan Kenobi." C-3PO said.
R2-D2 played the message.
"Obi-Wan, you're my only hope." Leia said in the recording.
"Hmm, very pretty." Luke awed. "I think she means Old Ben Kenobi."
"Huh?"
"We'll go there tomorrow."
Early, the next morning. R2-D2 left the house. Luke and 3PO noticed this and went after him in the land speeder. When they found R2-D2, they were attacked by Tusken Raiders (Ethiopians). Luke was knocked out unconscious, and R2 and 3PO hid under the rocks. A hidden figure attacked the Tusken Raider from behind. The raider fled the area. The figure revealed himself to be an old man (Herbert Garrison). He saw R2-D2 hiding under the rocks.
"Hello there." He said to R2.
The old man placed his hand over Luke's head. Luke woke up.
"Ben Kenobi?"
"Yep."
"Boy, is it good to see you."
"What brings you out here?" Kenobi asked.
"Play the message R2."
R2-D2 played the message.
"Obi-Wan, you're my only hope. R2-D2 has plans to the Death Star. You must bring them to my father in Alderaan. Also, you let me become captured by some asthma black asshole." Leia said.
The message ended.
"Obi-Wan, huh. Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time."
"We need to get to Alderaan." Luke said.
The group went home. But when they got there, Luke's uncle and aunt were killed and his home was destroyed. But they had to move on.
"Where are we?" 3PO said as they got off at a bar.
"This is Mos Eisley." Luke said. "A famous bar on Tatooine."
The four went inside. There they found a pilot and his furry friend.
"Hi, I'm Han Solo (Stan Marsh) and this my friend Chewbacca. (Kenny)." The pilot said.
"RRRRRRR." Chewie said before spitting into a cup. (Man, I always gargle before speaking.)
"We need a ship that would take us to Alderaan." Luke said. "Can you give us one?"
"Sure." Han said.
"Wow, you even give us a free r-r-ride?" 3PO added.
"Yeah, because we need a use for the Millennium Falcon." Han said.
As everyone left with Chewie, another smuggler approached Han.
"Hi, my name's Greedo (Scott Tennorman)."
Han picked up his blaster and shot Greedo in the head.
"Sorry, I don't give free rides to aliens like you."
Han showed everyone the Millennium Falcon.
"Wow." Luke awed.
"Hey! They're over there!" A Stormtrooper said.
Two Stormtroopers started firing at the group. More Stormtroopers joined in.
"How did they get here?!" Luke said.
"Just run!" Han shouted.
Everyone got inside the Falcon as it took off.
Meanwhile, on the Death Star...
"Now, witness your home planet be destroyed Leia!" Darth Vader said. "Activate the Death Star!"
The Death Star was activated. It fired a laser beam at Alderaan, destroying it.
"No!" Leia screamed.
As Darth Vader laughed manically. A stormtrooper came up to him.
"What is it?" Vader said.
"We've detected life forms on a ship. And they're heading straight for us."
"Use the tractor beam."
"Yes sir."
The Millennium Falcon had stopped suddenly.
"What's happening?" Luke said.
"We're being pulled in by a tractor beam!" Han said. "Hang on!"
As the Falcon was pulled in on the Death Star, two Stormtroopers were sent on examining it. Blaster fire can be heard and the two Stormtroopers came out with Chewie as their prisoner. When the three got pass the checkpoint...
"Okay, search the cell blocks." Luke said while in the Stormtrooper disguise.
Han walked through the closest one he could get to. Inside was two people making out.
"What the hell? Who in the right mind would walk into Stormtroopers mating each other?"
Luke went into another cell block.
"Leia!" Luke said.
"What do you want?" She said.
Luke quickly took off his helmet.
"Obi-Wan's with us. We got to go!"
The two met up with Han and Chewie who were under fire.
"Wait, why are the blasters only firing around us?" Luke asked.
"I guess Stormtroopers have the worst aim." Han said. "But I don't!"
Han shot down several Stormtroopers.
"Give me that!" Leia said, taking Han's blaster.
Leia shot a hole in a nearby vent.
"Come on!" She said.
The group went down the ventilation shaft, which took them to a trash compacter.
"Ugh, ew!" Luke gagged.
Obi-Wan had shut off the beam of the Death Star before being confronted by Vader.
"We meet again, Obi-Wan. For the last time!"
Meanwhile, the group who had rescued Leia were making their way back to the Falcon. Luke spotted Obi-Wan fighting Vader.
"Obi-Wan!" Luke said.
This distracted Obi-Wan long enough so that Vader could finish him off.
"NO!" Luke screamed.
More Stormtroopers arrived to shoot at them.
"Run!" Han shouted.
The group made their way onto the Falcon.
"It's my fault." Luke said as they took off. "I let Obi-Wan get killed."
"He died for us." Leia said.
"We're not out of the woods yet!" Han said as Tie-Fighters chased them.
Both Luke and Han manned the blasters. They managed to take down the Tie-Fighters as they made their way to Yavin 4, where the rebel base is located.
In the rebel base, the crew members examined the Death Star plans.
"So there's a hole in the Death Star and if we shoot into it, it will cause a chain reaction that will blow up the reactor core." Leia summarized.
As the crew members are ready to fight back, Han was busy collecting his reward.
"Han, are you coming with us?" Luke asked.
"Nah, I need to pay back Jabba the hut."
The rebels prepared to leave and then took off.
"Okay, Red Five ready."
"Red Three ready."
"Red Six ready." Luke said.
"Red from South Park ready."
"Red October ready." said a giant sub floating in space for no reason.
"Red Marker ready." An anthropomorphic marker added.
The rebel alliance had spotted Tie-Fighters coming their way. They blasted them as they approached to the Death Star. As Luke made his way near the hole of the Death Star, Vader, in another ship, was flying behind him. But before Vader could shoot Luke, his ship was shot by Han Solo, sending him spiraling to space.
"Luke, use the force." A voice-over of Obi-Wan said.
Luke turned off his targeting system to fire his shot through a hole in the Death Star.
"We need to get out of here, now!" Han Solo said.
The remaining rebels fled as the Death Star exploded. They flew back to Yavin 4 where they celebrated their victory.
"And that was the story of Star Wars." Newton concluded.
"Wow, that was epic." Unikitty applauded.
"Eh, I just watched the movie on Netflix."
The kids looked at Peter, who was still recovering.
"I don't think he's going to recover anytime soon." Stan said.
THE END.
P.S: This story was done as a request from another user. I will not mention his name at the time.