A story of Huey and Jazzy

by Bulmas Ego

Just my version of how they possibly figured out their feelings for each other.

33. Pretty and Beautiful

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Aaron McGruder owns is all. If I did, Huey would be POTUS.

REVIEWS:

LavenderLuvER18: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Those events are something special and you feel special when you can be part of them. I get inspired to do more of these kinds of things to and I hope more people want to do them. But thank you for saying everything you said.

ThickBlackGirl: Girl, the struggle with school is real. LOL. For reals. And these two are probably going to continue getting freaky. I mean they're bound to right? LOL. Thank you for commenting. Thank you, thank you.

dannyphantomlover7: Oh my god, so yes, that part took me a minute to. I was like, okay, "Just cuz you don't like this character don't mean you gotta be mean about it either, just try your best." Yeah and then there it was. Thank you for getting through that paragraph with me. And thank you for continuing to read.

WARNING: Look ya'll. I'm going to stop warning you. It just is what it is. I will up to the rating soon, but things are happening. I mean we're all semi adults here and if you see things are happening between the characters, just skip down to the end of the scene. I promise, when things happen, they end with the scene. So yeah. Either way, I hope you all enjoy.

CHAPTER 33:

I inhale. I can't drop kick him if doesn't do anything. I hear her voice say, "Jazzy?" I smile, lean into her, moving his journal over, and grabbing the bag. I feel her hands on my other shoulder hugging me and I laugh.

I exhale and say, "I know Mimi's, don't think about it, just be happy." I feel that kiss on my head, feel my smile get bigger, and hear a warm voice say, "Can I get one of those?" I start laughing again, feeling her let go of me, and I close my locker. I hear their cute kiss and turn around and see Caesar with his arm over her shoulders.

I see that big handsome smile, walk up to Ming, start walking next to her, and hear that voice say, "Hey tiny one, other side." I exhale, roll my eyes, and go onto his side, walking next to the lockers. I hear Ming giggle on his other side, making me smile, and I say, "I know but you guys are such worrywarts."

I hear him say, "Babe, next to Jazzy." I look up, inhale seeing him, and smell that lavender lotion next to me now. I see him look at me, swallow feeling nervous, look away, not sure why I get such a creepy feeling from him, even though I know for sure I can defend myself, and feel that warm arm go around mine.

I hear her whisper, "Don't fucken know why he's so weird. I mean he just shows whenever the fuck he feels like it or what? Not even on the same days, just whenever the fuck he decides he's gonna be creepy. Fucken least get on schedule so we can take another route those days fucken weirdo." I giggle, look forward, put my head on her shoulder, and exhale passing him.

I say, "Thanks Caes." I hear him say, "Don't worry tiny one, you both just make sure to not leave your locker till one of us gets there. Don't want that fucker or any other assholes thinking they can talk to you'll just cuz we can't fuck them up for looking too damn long or fucken trying to touch your hair."

I feel my eyebrow rise and hear Ming say, "My jealous Michael boo." I hear him exhale, hear Ming giggling, and can't help but smile. Then I hear her say, "But wouldn't have you any other way my cuddle bear." I feel my eyebrow rise again, look over at them and see Caesar blushing, smirking, and looking down. I don't think I've ever seen him blush. Oh lord and black Jesus. They're so cute. I start laughing, hear Ming laughing, and close my eyes, wanting to feel that happiness after that creepy feeling.

Then, I feel something hit my shoulder, open my eyes, and hear Ming say, "The fuck was that?" I look back and see that blonde hair and short skirt walking into the hallway. It's almost December and it's a little warm for winter at 54 degrees like the weather reporter said this morning and I know they have the heater turned on in the school but that skirt's still really short. I exhale and wonder if her mom tells her she has to dress like that. I know she didn't finish that sentence when she was telling us that she was told she has to be with someone with money but I think she meant to say it's her mom that tells her that and maybe her mom also tells her she has to dress like that to get attention. I don't know. Maybe she likes dressing like that, but it's still cold today. And why did she bump into me?

I hear Ming say, "Jazzy you okay?" I look back at her, see those pursed glossed red lips, move my shoulders up and down, and say, "Yeah. You know I don't care. Let's go." I see her exhale and she says, "You got a fucken heart of gold but she does that shit again, I'ma fuck her up." I smile at my sweet friend and say, "Okay Mimi's but don't get in trouble, so like maybe after school."

I see that smile and hear Caesar say, "Shit. Knew that report was gonna make shit harder. Damn." I see Ming turn to him, see those dreads inside the cafeteria over her head, and follow her into the cafeteria.

I inhale, getting that feeling from the last game, when we walked back into the gym after getting those waters. I look around the cafeteria and start feeling insecure with those eyes looking at us. I feel that arm around my arm again and exhale, walking in with Ming.

Then I feel myself inhale and my eyes squint. Seriously? I exhale and know I trust him. But, he's still my boyfriend, my bestie, and my warm brain. I hear her whisper, "Go Jazzy," and feel her let go of my arm, feel my backpack strap being pulled off my shoulder and that bag I was holding being pulled out of my hand. I don't feel my backpack on me anymore, let go of that bag I was holding, and start walking faster. I see those reds looking at me, do that thing when he looks me up, feeling my cheeks getting warm, and remember what I'm doing. I look back at her, go right up to her, hear her talking, not really listening, walk around her, and sit on that lap, hearing him groan and feeling that face on my shoulder. My poor bestie. I'm going to have to apologize for that later.

I see her look at me, squint her eyes, I smile at her, and say, "Hi Michelle, do you need something with my boyfriend?" I see her exhale, purse her lips, and she says, "I was just inviting everyone here," but I hear my sister's voice cut her off with, "Nah uh hoe. Your ass was here inviting ma big bro only and you fucken happen to invite our asses and your ass just had to fucken do it before ma sis got here. Dumb hoe." I inhale and feel that hand on my lower back and how warm it is.

I see her roll her eyes, not knowing they were a little greenish until now, maybe because I haven't talked to her in a while and because last year we weren't in groups together in class because she sat on the other side of class and maybe because I just never looked at her eyes. But, seeing how thin she is, how pretty her shoulder length straight dark red hair is and how it makes her smooth light skin and dark green eyes stand out, I start feeling that insecurity again. Stop it. I'm more confident than this. Right? I feel that warm strong arm around my waist and exhale, not really knowing why I feel like I needed it.

I see her raise her chin, smirk at me, feel myself move up, feel that arm holding me down, and she says, "I was just inviting Huey to a party I'm having with my friends since I know he's probably bored on the weekends when you're off saving the world." I try standing, feel that arm holding me, and I hear that monotone voice say, "No." Then I feel that arm pull me back, feel my butt go over his legs, and inhale, feeling that bench under my butt. I feel my lips purse, see her smirk, and exhale, knowing it's not fair for me to force public affection on him. I look away, move my legs over and then feel that hand holding my right thigh over his leg with his hand on the inside of my leg. And I feel my whole face getting red, feeling that hand holding my leg over him, right there, where his hand was on Saturday night again. Oh Black Jesus please don't let me think about that at school.

I see her look away, annoyed I think, and I exhale, happy to hear Ming and Caesar sitting down in front of us. And, this girl, Michelle, she used to be nice to me, at least I don't remember her being mean. I just remember her being in class with me and her talking to other girls but she was never mean to me, she just didn't talk to me. And, mom's not raising us to be mean, specially to other girls, women. I inhale, and say, "Michelle." I see her look at me and I say, "Why are you even here? You never come to this table and you know he's my boyfriend." I feel that hand squeeze my leg, can't help the smile and hope my cheeks are not as red as they feel. I see her inhale, see her raise her chin, and she says, "I'm just giving him options Jazmine since you're too busy and." I see her look over at my sister and Ming and she says, "You all are too busy saving the world on Thanksgiving and making your boyfriends do that volunteer work, getting your five minutes of fame on the local news with anchors talking about what you'll look like."

Out of the corner of my eye I see my sister get up, look over at her, and know I can probably hold her down until my bestie helps me because I know Caesar's holding Ming right now, and then I exhale seeing those mocha colored arms go around her waist. I hear my sister say, "You dumb bitch! You think we wanted that shit! Ma sis, ma friends! You don't know us you stupid bitch and your ass betta fucken leave befor' one of us fucks you up!" I inhale, look back at her, see her look at me, and she says, "I'm just telling you Jazmine." I see her look at Huey, see her look him up, and I stand, feeling the table hit my legs, biting my lip to not curse, and feel those hands grab my hips, and sit me back down on his lap again.

I inhale and hear him whisper into my ear, "Calm down Jazmine." I see her eyes squint at me sitting on my boyfriend's lap, see her exhale, and she says, "I'm just telling you that after that broadcast with you and all these guys at that place where people saw how." I see her look over my head, behind me, see her lick her lips, and I remember he's not holding my hands. I sit up, swing my hand out, see her eyes open, and feel that warm hand grab my wrist. I exhale and say, "Huey let me go." I feel that warm breath on my ear, know I have to be so red right now, feel him bring my hand back down, and hear him whisper again, trying to remember when he started doing that ever, "You're making this really hard Jazmine and we're nowhere near Saturday night, so calm down." Okay. Now my face is red.

I close my eyes, exhale, trying to calm down because I can hear Caesar and Riley both trying to calm my friend and sister, open my eyes, and I say, "Michelle, we don't care. Leave before my boyfriend can't stop me from defending my friends and him from dumb girls like you." I see her inhale, see her eyes open, and she says, "Dumb! You think I'm dumb! How do you think the school sees you!"

I feel that hand on my shoulder, smell that vanilla lotion, exhale, and hear Lauren say, "Sata, the school doesn't think she's dumb because one, she has some of the highest grades and GPA at this school and two." I feel my smile and hear my sister's sweet deep voice say, "She ain't a hoe that goes to other people's tables to be a hoe. So fuck you and what you gotta say 'bout ma sis and go be a hoe with that dick the school knows you're messing with."

I see Michelle's eyes get bigger than before, see her mouth open, feel my eyebrow rise, and I hear Ming say, "Yeah, we heard hoe even though we didn't even ask cuz we don't wanna know shit like that, how you'll hooked up over the break, with her sloppy seconds. That shits nasty to, specially cuz I think they're still doing it. I mean have some self-respect. Being with his ass and then coming over here, inviting another girl's man to a party so you can probably try to hook up with him to, after you been doing that shit. Damn." I see Michelle's face get red, see her inhale, exhale, see her look back at me, squint her eyes, and she says, "Well it's not like I can even have him because everyone knows he's just waiting for you."

I feel my other eyebrow rise, feel that hand on my thigh getting warm, really warm, not remembering when he put his hand there, and feel it go up and around my waist, wondering if I'm not gonna stop getting red until lunch is over. But, I know I need to get her away from us before someone does slap her.

I exhale and say, "I don't even care what that means Michelle. I have a boyfriend. The only one I want. Don't come here again." I feel that hot arm getting back to that normal temperature, feel my smile, see her inhale, and she says, "After that broadcast there's gonna be girls after them, if they haven't told you already that girls already started trying to talk to them, because now everyone knows they're not only hot but you all wanna be out there volunteering, forcing them to do that, when they really want a girl that will take care of them."

I exhale, feeling that insecurity again, even if I'm sitting on his lap, he has his arm around my waist, whispering in my ear, and I know he likes me and I help him distance himself from that mean family. I make him feel clean. But, he's really cute. And I'm just me.

I feel that arm squeeze my waist, exhale, and then hear a voice that always makes the table laugh say, "And what 'bout that shit? Nothing new." I look over at Riley, see him holding my little sister's small waist, how fit they both are, with the big red and blue eyes, both wearing those white and dark red muscle shirts, how much of a cute couple they make, and wonder if they'll ever have kids. Okay, way out there Jazmine. Focus.

I hear Michelle say, "Exactly. You're used to it, all of you, getting asked out by girls, but now it's going to happen even more, and you'll eventually see you have options, all of you, and then." I hear her stop, seeing Riley smile and start laughing. I feel my smile, hear Caesar snickering, look over at him, and see him shaking his head, looking down, with Ming sitting on the bench next to him.

I start hearing Hiro laughing with Riley, not remembering when he got here, and look over and see him standing, holding his stomach, and notice how big his smile is. I don't think I ever noticed how big Hiro's smile is. And, I know Lauren likes him a lot and calls him her Hiro all the time now and he still whispers in her ear and makes her get super red. I feel that hand let go of my shoulder and see that pretty dark hair and perfect chocolate colored skin slide over to the edge of the bench, next to Hiro, seeing her look up at him. He protects her and makes her happy. And I think, seeing him laugh like this, I'm pretty sure I didn't see him laugh like this in Chicago, so she makes him really happy to.

I feel my smile get bigger knowing my friends are all really happy and then feel my eyebrow rise seeing Hiro put his palm up sideways, and I hear him say, "Riley, hoes at this bullshit of a fucken school." I see Riley stop laughing, see the Riley Freeman smirk, and I see him slap that hand sideways and he says, "Shit load man." Oh my Black Jesus. And I think I'm still sitting on Huey's lap. I should probably move over to the bench, but that arm is holding me. I look down, see that arm, and know I like that arm there but I do know I weigh a little. I start moving back to the bench and inhale, feeling that arm hold me tighter. Oh god, I am not going to stop getting red all lunch?

I hear Riley's voice say, "Shit. We know. Girls be dropping numbers every damn day." I hear an inhale, look over, see my sister stepping away, and see Riley put his arm around her shoulders, hear some girls curse somewhere, and I hear Riley say, "C-Murph, just one minute a'ight." I see her exhale, see those pursed lips, and hope Riley uses his smartness in the next minute.

I see Riley exhale, look back up at Michelle and he says, "And what you know 'bout the numbers they be dropping and how we gotta throw that shit in the trash befor' we walk out cuz we ain't gonna use them and at least for sure ma ass knows if my girl finds them she'll fucken kill me?" I hear the other guys say, 'Fuck yeah', feel that exhale on my back, and feel my eyes get big.

I see Riley stand up straight, wondering if both him and Huey are six feet tall now, see him bring my little sister into him, see her get red knowing she's C-Murder and doesn't like a lot of public affection, and smile at how cute she is. Then I hear Riley say, "I knows who my girl is, she's fucken C-Murder, been since I met her, and I know even if she knows to trust ma ass, she finds those numbers, she'll fucken kill those hoes." I hear the guys say, 'Yeah man', 'Facts man', feel a hand lightly slap my thigh, and I jump a little. When did Huey become so okay with public affection even if it's under the table at lunch? I have to focus on something else before I turn around and kiss him.

I look back at that girl and she says, "But you guys are guys, everyone knows you're all from Chicago, some of you even just moved here, you've been in gangs with tattoos and muscles to prove it, so why would you guys be scared of these girls, any girls?" I exhale, turn back to the table, know this is so dumb, see that book on the Black Panther Party, how cool it looks, and I grab it, and open it to the first page. Preface, How do you fight white supremacy in the era of "color blindness?" Interesting.

I feel that hand pull me back, exhale, trying to not get redder, feel the bench under my butt, see that red shirt with the yellow square and the Wu-Tang Clan symbol inside of that yellow box that's always reminded me of the Batman sign. Batman reminds me of Phil. I look up, see him and Lena sitting at the math club table, and inhale, seeing that guy there, talking to them. I'll talk to her later. Hopefully nothing happens because he's there.

I exhale, knowing Michelle is still here, and I need to focus before I slap her, look back at those burgundy eyes, see them looking at the book, look down at it, and feel my smile seeing he didn't change it back to the last page he was on. He wants us to read together again. But, I should stop being to clingy. I inhale, move my legs over to be under the bench, and then start getting red feeling that warm hand over my right thigh, not letting me move it, again. And why is his hand that close to my inner thigh again? Focus Jazmine. Okay, just read. I look back at the book and keep reading the next sentence.

Then I hear Michelle say, "All I'm saying is what everyone else is saying Jazmine." I exhale, looking at the book, and hear my sister say, "And ma sis don't care hoe. Leave before I get out of ma ride of die's hands bitch." I exhale, trying to calm down, focusing on the paragraph I'm on, and hear Michelle say, "And whatever you think you heard about me isn't true so don't believe them." I feel my eyebrow rise and hear Riley's laugh. I look up, see Riley with his arm around my sister's shoulders, holding her, and remember that morning when my bestie hugged me going to sleep. Maybe they do that to, hug at night like that. I feel my heart swell. I'm so happy for us.

I see him stop laughing, look up with that smirk, and he says, "We 'on't even fucken care girl. You can do whatever the fuck you want. Be a hoe, not be a hoe. Only care that it ain't C-Murph doing that shit." And I start giggling seeing my sister exhale and getting red again. And then I remember they can all handle someone like Michelle. I look back down at the book and keep reading. Then I hear Hiro say, "He's right girl. We don't fucken care what you do. And my girl knows that shit happens and I throw those numbers before leaving class not cuz I'm scared of her but I'm scared she'll find them before I throw them out and she might fuck up one of you'll and get kicked off her team. Shit, I know she can handle, one of the many fucken reasons I'm with her, and I couldn't give two shits if this fucken school or the girls here think I was in some fucken gang just cuz of my tats. You'll don't know shit 'bout me." I'm trying to focus but it's hard with my friends making me laugh and I know I'm supposed to be taking a break right now so I can focus in class later. I exhale, look up to see that cute face reading the book, and feel my eyebrow rise seeing him looking at his phone.

I get that feeling again, of acting like a little kid when I was going to touch his boombox, but I can't help it and start inching little by little to see what he's looking at. And I smile, seeing him look up Black Lives Matters in Atlanta. I didn't know it was big there. And I can see they just had a march. I want to go to a march one day. They seem so cool, so energetic. I lay my head on that shoulder and say, "That's so cool. I wanna go." I feel that squeeze on my leg and giggle.

I hear Caesar's voice say, "And I'ma try to be respectful and tell you none of us cares 'bout those numbers. Matter of fact, how 'bout you tell them girls so they stop doing that shit? It was damn too much today, like ain't you'll supposed to be in class doing shit, like learning or something, not just writing your number on papers to drop them off at our desks when we go to the damn bathroom?" I hear that exhale next to me, look over at those cute pursed lips, and wonder if I can kiss them before we go to our history class. And why does he look annoyed? I'll ask him later.

I look back down at his phone, seeing him scrolling through the events page, and hear Michelle say, "I'm sorry but I can't stop them from giving you their number Caes." I inhale, look up, and hear Lauren's voice say, "You don't call my boyfriend's brother that name sata." I exhale, see that phone he was holding being put down, and know he can't focus either.

I inhale, look at her, and say, "Michelle." I see her look at me, squint her eyes, and I say, "We were okay last year when we were in class together because I thought you were nice, so I'm gonna warn you only because of that. Leave now because Riley can only hold my sister back for so long, I'm pretty sure our Caes because we're the only ones that can call him that." I see her exhale and I say, "Yeah, our Caes is holding his girlfriend from slapping you for even thinking you can call him anything but Caesar." I see her look over at Ming, see her inhale, and I say, "And now you even made our Laurie mad, which is really hard to do unless you're just really dumb." I see her look back at me, see her open her mouth and I say, "I'm not done and don't cut me off or my boyfriend won't be able to stop me." I see her click her tongue and hope I won't be slapping her but kind of looking forward to it, and I say, "So leave and you can tell those other girls anything you want. None of us cares. And we know they have girls that like them, we're not dumb, but they're with us, so go away and don't come back."

I see her inhale and she says, "You're only saying that because they haven't gotten tired of you all, but they will." I exhale and remember something Ashley said. And why did she shove me? I see Michelle turn, see her walk away, and I exhale.

Then, I hear Hiro's voice say, "Fuck man. You saw that shit? The fuck we gonna do now?" I feel my eyebrow rise, look over at him, see him sitting next to Lauren, looking at Riley, and before I can ask I hear Lauren say, "What do you mean babe? We just have to make sure they know you have girlfriends and if they leave those phone numbers we'll just look for them and remind them."

I feel my smirk, see Hiro look down at her smirking, and I hear my sister say, "Homie you tripping, we'll just fuck them up if you let us find them numbers you trying to throw away. And you giving me those numbers Riles." I look over at my sister, see her sitting next to Riley and I see Riley with that smirk looking down at her.

I hear Ming's voice say, "Cin bear's right. What are you all talking about? We can take care of hoes or exes that try shit. Dragging their asses outta this school no matter who they are."

I exhale, feeling like we're missing something the way the guys are talking but I don't know what it is. Then I hear that monotone voice next to me say, "We'll start you two on defensive moves that require upper body strength so you can catch up to Jazmine and Cindy." I feel my eyes open, look over at him, looking at his phone, and before I can say anything I hear Caesar's voice say, "You'll don't see it cuz you ain't like those girls."

I look over at him, see him looking at Ming, see him put his arm over her shoulders, see Ming go under him, and he says, "You'll don't see that that report didn't just make those girls remember 'bout us and start with those numbers again, but this fucken school man." I exhale, not liking where this conversation is going, and I say, "I don't get it. If that report made it so girls started." I stop, exhale, feeling my hand squeeze his hand that's on my leg, not remembering when I put it on top of his, and say, "Trying to give you guys their phone numbers, like at the beginning of the semester, what does that have to do with us? I mean it made you guys look like really good guys being there and that's probably why those girls want to." I inhale, put my fingers through his, and I say, "See you guys. It makes sense that we need to know how to fight those girls but why do you want to start Mimi and Laurie on more defense moves? Shouldn't they know more attack moves?"

I hear Riley's voice say, "You'll do 'member what that fucken anchor said right?" I look over at him, see that arm on my sister's shoulder, and remember she said they watch the news sometimes at night to. And, I just realized Huey and Riley are a lot more similar than even I know. And then I remember what that creepy anchor said, look over at Riley, and I say, "Really? But that was one creepy man saying that. Do you guys think the school is really going to act different with us just because of what some creepy anchor said, like enough that you think Mimi and Laurie need to learn more defensive moves instead of attack moves?"

I hear Caesar say, "Jazzy girl." I look over at him and see him looking to my right with his eyebrow raised. He exhales, looks down at me, and he says, "I'ma tell you'll something but I don't need you taking offense alright? And let me finish before you get mad." I feel my eyebrow rise, nod, see him inhale, see him look around the table, see him nod at the guys one by one, almost like asking for permission, he exhales, and says, "You'll girls are really smart when it comes to a lot of shit, but you'll just can't see one thing that's real easy for lots of damn kids at this school to see."

I feel my eyebrow rise, open my mouth, see Caesar look at me, and I close my mouth and exhale, remembering he said to let him finish. I see him look down at Ming, see him purse his lips, and he says, "How do I say this shit so you'll can believe my ass?" I feel my other eyebrow rise. Okay. I don't know if I should be mad that he said we're smart but don't see something other kids at this school see and what's so hard for him to say? Then I hear that monotone voice next to me say, "You're unable to see what you look like to others." He talked twice today during lunch break. I need to put this date in my phone. I take out my phone and then blink. What?

I look over at him, see him looking at me, with those burgundy eyes, feel myself focus on those lips, remember we're in public, swallow, and whisper, "Bestie?"

I see him exhale and then hear Caesar's voice say, "Remember what I told you at the beginning of the semester 'bout why we we're gonna have to keep an eye out for those fucken assholes, Jazzy girl?" I blink looking at those lips, think about what Caesar just said, look back at him, see him sitting next to Ming, one of the prettiest girls at this school, remember the beginning of the semester, walking into the cafeteria that first day. I feel my eyes open and say, "Best looking ones?"

I see him nod and hear Hiro say, "So it ain't just what that fucken anchor said. It's that that fucker reminded these entitled pieces of shit that you'll are the best looking ones and now we gotta fucken deal with that and Huey's right." I look at Hiro, see him exhale, looking at Lauren, and he says, "We gotta make sure you'll can defend yourself, just in case we ain't in class with you and you don't got a chair around to throw at them." I exhale. Really?

Then I hear Riley's voice say, "And it ain't just that." I look over at him, see him looking at the ceiling and he says, quieter, reminding me of how grown up he is compared to other ninth graders, compared to us sometimes, "It's cuz of what you'll were doing there. We're guys, people gonna think we were forced to be there cuz we work there or we were doing community service or cuz you'll made us be there, cuz guys only do shit like that when they're forced to or getting paid, but you'll." I see him exhale and he says, "You girls and girls usually don't work at a place like the shelter and people gonna think you'll were there only cuz you wanted to be there, even if that shits true cuz it is. But now." I see him inhale, look down at my little sister, see his lips purse, and he says, "Them assholes ain't just gonna be looking cuz of how you'll look but now they're gonna think, they're gonna know, you'll ain't just what you look like, but more than that."

I blink, knowing something doesn't make sense, and I say, "But." I feel my lips purse and hear my sister say, "I think I knows sis." I look over at her, see her looking at Riley, and she says, "But there's lots of girls at this school that do shit like that, not just volunteer, but do other shit, like volunteer and got jobs and do sports and all that. We ain't special."

I hear that exhale next to me, look over at him, see him looking at his book, and wonder if he's getting annoyed with this conversation. I know he's talked twice but mostly he only talks when it has to do with big things, like stuff him and Caesar are working on with those organizations in Chicago and then the upcoming campaigns. And why do I feel like kissing his forehead when it's scrunched up like that? I see that mouth open, feel my eyes open, knowing it's the third thing he's going to say at lunch today, and he says, "It's the fact that it's the complete package. You are all aware to a good degree, if not more, of how to contribute to the world most of these kids live in and not make it worse, based alone on the fact that you do not add to the juvenile gossiping. You're also what most would consider well-rounded based of your grades, extra-curricular activities, and now having been on a news report showing what you chose to do while other kids our age were at home being mindless idiots. This leads to many of these kids now thinking you're also not one-dimensional because you won't just talk about pointless shows that will mean nothing next year, but actually have substantial interests. And with how these kids need social media, parties, and even drugs, whether that's weed, alcohol, or e-cigarettes, to keep their attention span for more than two minutes, as idiotic as they are, they are aware that they would not be bored having a conversation with you. Therefore, based on the physical qualities they find to be attractive and the fact that they now know, more so than before, that you're not clueless girls like the ones they're used to seeing, and the fact that you do not have a record at this school nearly, if even close, to many of the idiot kids here, you not only have the physical qualities and the mental capacities, but are also among the few girls at this school that come with little or no relationship issues, even if you think you do, you do not, these idiots are now." I see him inhale, see those reds focus on that book, see those lips move again, and he says, "More interested in you. And now, because of the culmination of these factors, the fact that we are in a school where there are too many idiots that believe they can have anyone they want because of who their parents are, we will not only continue training you in self-defense maneuvers but attacks where you can paralyze, at least for several minutes, any attacker, in class or outside."

I see him exhale through that cute nose still looking at that book, feel my smile, remember it's Monday, and he's my boyfriend. So, I lean in, kiss that cheek, and see that annoyed look with that tint on those Freeman cheeks. I start laughing and hear the rest of the table laughing. Oh my god.

After we all stop laughing, I grab the brown bag, take out the first sandwich with those jalapenos, give it to him, and feel him squeeze my leg with that first bite. I grab the next sandwich, take a bite, and then put my head on that shoulder. I think I'll kiss him before we have to go to history class.

I hear my sister say, "A'ight so just to make sure we all get this shit. I think Caes said we can't see what dumbass kids at this bs of a school can when it's 'bout." I hear her stop, look over at her, see her purse her lips with that tint on her cheeks, feel my smile remembering how she's still not good with compliments, and she says, "How we all look?" I hear Ming say, "Yeah and I think Hiro said we gotta learn how to defend and attack just in case we ain't got chairs to throw at fuckers in class right?" I smile, hear the giggles, and then hear Lauren say, "I think so and then Riley said that kids at school are not just going to look because." I hear her stop, look over, see her blushing, feeling my smile, swallow that bite of sandwich, and she says, "They think we're at least pretty but because they know we do stuff like volunteer sometimes?" I exhale and I say, "And now we're going to learn how to paralyze someone." I look around, see us girls looking at each other, smile, and start laughing.

I smile hearing them all laughing and look over at my bestie, eating that second sandwich. He must've been hungry. I put my sandwich down, bring my hand down, and put it on his jeans, hearing him exhale.

Then I hear Lauren say, "Jazzy?" I look over at her, see her looking out at the cafeteria and she says, "Do you think we can start this weekend; you know the more self-defense training and maybe even the attack training?" I look out and inhale, feel that hand over mine on his jeans, feeling him squeeze my hand, and I say, "Sis do you think mom will be okay with just Friday this week?" I hear her inhale, know she's looking out at the cafeteria, and I hear her sweet voice say, "Yeah boo. Mom be okay if we tell her it's 'bout our training." I hear Riley's voice say, "Well we ain't leaving her alone if we do start this week. She be coming over and she can work in ma room on whatever work she got while we train you'll in the backyard."

I look back down from those eyes that were looking over here, look at Riley, see him look up from his pizza at everyone at the table, probably feeling our eyes on him, and he says, "Hey nah, that shit ain't fair. I clean ma room now." I start laughing, hearing the table laugh, and hear my sister say, "Nah uh. I'ma vouch for that shit. He does clean it." I hear that voice next to me say, "She can also stay in your house where she has her home office, will probably be more comfortable on her only day off from work, and we will take half hour turns to check on her."

I almost forgot. Tom. Tom. My father. He came back. That's why the guys want to check on her every half hour. He could hurt mom. And, he could hurt my sister. I look up at those blue eyes. I don't even know why he's here. I inhale, exhale, feel that hand move out from under my hand, wanting to tell him I need his hand right now, but I know Huey doesn't like clingy people. And I need to grow up. I need to be an adult about this for mom and my little sister. Those blue eyes looking up at Riley. Then I feel that hand go behind my back and feel it on my shoulder, bringing me into him. I smile, looking down, and hear my sister say, "Jazzy boo?" I look up, see those pretty blue eyes, see her smiling at me, and she says, "Our momma will a'ight okay?" I smile back and say, "You're right sis."

Then I hear Riley say, "You'll think he dropped the soap in the pen?" I can't help it, smile, and start laughing. I think I'll start with in the middle with 'N' on his leg. I start, hear him inhale, squeeze my shoulder, and know things always work out.

---

I feel us slowing down, smile, and say, "Do you still get there late?" I hear him exhale and hear him say, "It's of no consequence." I feel my smile get bigger, see we're a few steps away from the corner where he drops me off, and I say, "That's probably because you already have an A plus because it's only economics, even though those graphs confuse me, and it's almost the end of the semester. And." I hear that exhale through that nose, giggle, and say, "I'm sure Ms. Olney likes you because you're a sweet and smart student and she knows you're not late just because you want to be but because you're the best boyfriend ever."

I feel him let go of my hand, look over at him, and see that face coming down. I close my eyes, feel those lips on me, how soft they are, feel that hand on my shoulder turning me, and I remember I wanted to do this before history class but I forgot after thinking about Tom. Tom who's not proud of who he is. And, Huey is proud of who he is. He's black and he's Huey Freeman. I bring my hands up, put them in that hair, pull him down, and open his mouth with my tongue. I hear that groan, feel that hand leave my shoulders, both those hands on my waist, feel him push me back a step, hear my backpack against the lockers, taste his tongue, feeling that warm hair, and wonder how far we are from our janitor's room.

Then I hear, "You're going to be late and if you are you'll be sent to the principal's office." I feel him pull away, see him look at me, and I look back at those burgundy eyes, almost dark burgundy, and say, "Even though my boyfriend can outrun you Mr. Leon, if I find out you sent him to the principal's office when Ms. Olney lets him get to class late I promise you everything." I see those eyes look down at my lips, wonder if we can still go to that room, because we should still have a few minutes before the tardy bell rings to make it there and lock the door, and then feel my eyebrow rise knowing that janitor's room is in the main building where the principal's office is and where Mr. Leon should be until after the tardy bell rings. That's when counselors are supposed to come out and look for kids that are late to class, not before.

I exhale, look away from those burgundy eyes, turn, feeling those hands leaving my waist, look at Mr. Leon, and see him standing there, wearing that 'Wuncler High Staff' sweater. I feel my other eyebrow rise, thinking he's probably the only counselor that wears clothes with the high school logo. Even teachers and Ms. Lola don't wear them. They just wear normal professional clothes. Only the principal and vice principal wear clothes with the school logo and I think only when they have meetings with parents. But on normal days they all just wear normal work clothes. But Mr. Leon would wear that sweater because I think he cares about looking important, reminding students and even other staff that he's someone that needs to be listened to. And then I remember Ashley and all those people that care about that stuff, titles, being important, money, class, all those things. And him and Ashley's mom. I inhale, remembering Ashley shoving me, and now Mr. Leon is here, far away from the main building where he should be, probably seeing if he can catch us being late. Ashley shoved me. She's never done that. I wonder if something happened and that's why she did that. But even then, she's just a mean girl and I know Mr. Leon sided with her that one time. I feel my eyes get big. Did he side with her because he's seeing her mom? I exhale. And is he trying to get us in trouble because she's mad at me for something I don't even know about?

I inhale and say, "I hope you're not here, in this building, before the tardy bell's even rang, trying to catch us being late because someone asked you to get us in trouble Mr. Leon." I see him inhale and he says, "You're overstepping your authority Ms. Dubois." I hear his inhale next to me and I say, "I don't have authority Mr. Leon. I'm a student. A girl that's part black, part white, and part attorney." I see him inhale, raise his chin, and he says, "Are you threatening a counselor Ms. Dubois?"

I exhale, remember how quick on her feet and confident my mom is now and say, "I think when people are being rude or trying to attack an innocent person my mom calls it legal repercussions, my best friend calls it fighting against racism and oppression, and I call it telling someone if he keeps coming after my friends and family because of some dumb girl that can't get over my best friend rejecting her or coming after them just because some of them are black, I will give the principal a formal complaint, in writing, and my best friend, my mom, and my sister and friends will help me write that letter."

I see him inhale, see him suck his teeth and squint his eyes, and then I remember I don't want people like that in my life. I smile and say, "Have a nice day Mr. Leon." I turn back to those burgundy eyes, see them looking down at me, feeling my cheeks get a little warm, get on my tippy toes, kiss that chin, grab his hand, and start walking again, feeling him put his fingers through mine. I guess I'll have to kiss him after class, maybe on the way to the nursing home.

---

Where is she? I exhale and try to focus on what Ms. Hoffman's saying but I can't. I'm worried about her. I hear the door open, look over, and inhale seeing her red eyes. I see her put the note on Ms. Hoffman's desk, see her look up at me with a small smile, and feel like slapping that jerk already, even if I don't know if he did or said anything.

I see her inhale, see her walking to her desk, hear the whisperings, look over at the other students, and stare at some of the girls. I see them look over at me, see some of them raise their chin but some other ones look away. I exhale, knowing I don't like people looking at me like that, but I don't want them talking about her. I hear Ms. Hoffman say, "No gossiping in this class because that distracts other students and will be sufficient to grade you with a 'U' for cooperation. Do I make myself clear?" I see those girls exhale and look away. I see Lena sit down with those red eyes looking at her desk, see them water, and inhale, knowing I'm slapping someone soon.

I hear Ms. Hoffman say, "Okay everyone. Now, I want you to turn to the person behind you and check each other's answers and if either have the wrong answers, discuss the steps you took to arrive at each answer." I inhale, look up at the clock, and see it's almost time anyways. I turn around and remember Melinda didn't come today. Darn it. I hear that guy say, "Jazmine." I inhale. At least he doesn't call me 'girl' anymore. I turn around, look at my paper, and say, "I have nitration for the first answer." I hear him say, "Got that to." I nod and say, "I have O-16 and O-18 for the second." I hear him say, "Me to." I nod and say, "I have autonomic number 5 for the third one." I hear him say, "Yeah, same." I feel my eyebrow rise and say, "What did you get for the fourth one?" I hear him exhale, look up, see him looking at me, and try not to remember those bruises so I don't laugh, but can't help snickering. I see him roll his eyes and he says, "Look I don't get this shit alright. I didn't get any of those answers."

I feel my lips purse, exhale, and say, "You could learn it. I can show you how I got the answers." I see him look away, nod, see him look back at me, and he says, "Alright. Show me." I roll my eyes at his rudeness and explain how I got the answers.

After explaining them, I see him nod, and he says, "Cool. Thanks." I inhale, look over at Lena, see her eyes are still red, but at least they're not watery anymore. I exhale. Good. I'll grab her after class.

I hear him say, "So Jazmine." I exhale, look back at him, and he says, "Sorry about the beginning of the semester." I feel my eyebrow rise and he says, "Look. Ming," but I cut him off with, "Don't." I see him inhale, see that niceness go away, and he says, "It isn't right." I exhale, look down at my paper, trying to focus on those questions, and I hear him say, "All I'm saying is we were together for a long time and I could still make her happy. I did." I inhale and say, "Luis, I will slap you. I will. For her I will and I don't care if I get in trouble." I hear him exhale and hear him say, "Fine, just know I'm not stupid. I know I fucked up. I know I did. I just came to make it right. With her. She deserves better, better than what I did."

I exhale, look up, see him looking down, and I say, "Then let her be happy. I mean you have no say in her happiness anyways but just let her go. Don't look at our table. Don't ask me about her. She's happy." I see him look up. I inhale and I say, "And don't try calling her again." I see his eyes get big, feel my smirk, and I say, "Yeah. We all know you tried calling her old number on Saturday." You don't have to know she changed it. I look back down at my paper going over the next question, and hear him say, "She got my message?" I exhale and say, "No. Deleted it. Then gave that phone to her boyfriend who I heard used it as target practice." I hear him inhale and he says, "For real?" I think I got that answer wrong. Darn. I look up for Lena to ask her, and hear him say, "But least I know that's still her number." I see Lena, see her looking down, I exhale, stand up, and say "Sure it is." I hear him inhale and hear him say, "Look hold on. You don't have to tell her anything, just let me tell you. I just want someone to talk to. Can't talk to anyone about this shit and it's just eating me up." I exhale, look back at him, see him looking down at my desk, and feel my lips purse. I know Huey says it's always good to know things, specially about your enemy, even though I don't like calling people that. And maybe he does just need someone to talk to.

I exhale, sit back down, and say, "Class ends in six minutes and I have to leave right away to see my friend." I see him look up and he starts, "Look, it happened. It was fucked up. I know what I did. But we only hooked up once and when I found out what Tina did I went to the hospital to see if she was alright but I couldn't see her because of what happened. They wouldn't let anyone see her because she had been attacked. So I couldn't even talk to her. Then I tried calling and she wouldn't call me back. I wanted to tell her, explain shit to her. And I didn't know Tina would do that shit. I mean she was crazy. I never wanted that to happen to Mi," but I cut him off with, "No. You don't get to say her name." I see him inhale and he says, "Fine. Her. I didn't know Tina would do that to her. And I swear we only hooked up once." I feel my eyebrow rise and say, "Okay, first of all." I see him exhale and I say, "You could have seen her at the hospital. Even when someone is attacked, if she tells them she's okay with seeing you, they do let you in to see them." I try not to think about when I was in the hospital but I remember my friends and family were there even though I had been attacked. I see him inhale, not saying anything, and I say, "And, if it only happened once, that you." I exhale, see him purse his lips, and I say, "Slept with that girl, why did she attack her like that? A girl would only do that if they think that guy's their boyfriend and maybe had been dating them for a while?" I see him exhale and he says, "Cuz she was fucken crazy." I nod and say, "And then she shows up at your school that week my friend was in the hospital because you guys only slept together once but you weren't in a real relationship with her right?" I see him open his mouth and I cut him off with, "And then you're making out with that girl?" I see his eyes get big, shake my head, and say, "You lost big time with my friend because she's not the kind of girl to do that to anyone, cheat with someone and then go beat up that guy's girlfriend, like whoever that girl was, and seeing how you keep lying about stuff, you probably lied to her too." I see him inhale and I say, "But, even my friend wouldn't do that, go up against one girl with a bunch of other people, like that girl did. That's just pathetic." I see him look down and away and I say, "Your whole story doesn't make sense. Why would a girl you only slept with once show up to beat up your real girlfriend and then move to your school the week after that happened, unless she really thought she was your girlfriend who had been with you for a while?" I see him look up at me, open his mouth, and I cut him off with, "And it even sounds like that week that my friend was in the hospital and wasn't calling you back instead of trying to go see her you were spending that week with that girl you cheated with who was now going to your school." I see him inhale, look at me with that look, the one that he gave me at the beginning of the semester, see him smirk, and he says, "So you aren't just what you look like or stupid, doing that volunteer shit with her instead of doing things that actually matter, and you know some shit?"

I inhale, knowing I don't want to slap him just because he's being rude, grab my notebook, grab my backpack, put my backpack on my lap, and hear him say, "I'll get her before semester ends. She'll see that I'm better than that dick. That she needs me, my protection, and I can take care of her in every fucken way." I exhale, feeling myself shake thinking about him even being close to her, put my notebook in my backpack, and hear him say, "Ming needs more than a nigger."

I crack my wrist, grab my notebook, pull it out, swing, and hear the slap. I exhale, bring down my hand holding my notebook, see him inhale, see the red mark on his face, see him shaking, see him look back at me, and stand up with his hands on his sides in fists, shaking. That warm brain says I shouldn't ever be looking up at someone. I stand up and hear my backpack drop.

I see him step up to me, open my hip, bring my right foot back, my right arm back bent at a thirty degree angle, and bring my left hand up and bent in front of my stomach like I did at the courts. Strong arm for attack. Not so strong arm for defense.

Then I hear Ms. Hoffman's voice say, "Jazmine." I blink, exhale, looking at that jerk, and say, "Yes Ms. Hoffman?" Never take your eyes off of jerks. I hear her say, "Why did you do that? You understand I'll have to send you to the principal's office and you'll have to explain yourself. This could even lead to being suspended for the rest of the semester." I inhale, see him smirk, and I say, "Yes Ms. Hoffman, I understand. I'll tell the principal I told him to not talk about my friend at the beginning of the semester, that he could ask me questions about the class, nothing else, he did talk about her right now, then he called my other friend the 'n' word, and I slapped him." I exhale, seeing his smirk get bigger, bring my hands down, bend down, grab my backpack, put my notebook in it, zip it up, stand up, see that dumb smirk on that jerk, turn around, and then feel a hand that has long nails and a ring grab my arm. I'm also better with little things now, not just big things like estimating spaces, but knowing what rings and nails feel like, what a guy's and girl's hand feels like, probably because of training with my friends.

I look over, see Ms. Hoffman with those big brown eyes looking at me, and she says, "I do not allow for such name calling in my classroom and seeing as the perpetrator did not even significantly try to rebuttal your claim, I believe the only person in this class that deserves to go to the principal's office is." I see her look over behind me and she says, "You Luis." I hear him inhale, feel her let go of my arm, and I turn to look at her. I see her inhale and she says, "But since the victim in this case defended herself in a manner I also do not allow in my classroom I will not be sending anyone to the principal's office today but." I see her exhale, see her purse her lips, and she says, "If this incident is repeated, I will be sending everyone involved to the principal's office and I'm sure protocol will be followed, which involves investigating how the incident began, took place, and concluded, and believe me Luis." I see her exhale and she says, "The principal also does not allow for such descriptions of any persons in this school. Do I make myself clear?"

I hear him exhale and hear her say, "Do I make myself clear Mr. Mazzucato?" I feel my eyebrows rise. She calls us all by our first name. She's just one of those teachers that does that and everyone likes her. I hear him inhale and hear him say, "Yeah."

I hear the bell ring, see her turn around, and hear her say, "Okay everyone, remember today's assignment needs to be turned in on Friday." I feel my smile, knowing I just slapped a jerk and I didn't get in trouble, hear that jerk walking away, and then see those braids walking out of class. I say, "Ms. Hoffman I'm sorry, I need to catch up to," but she cuts me off with, "I know Jazmine. Go. But know." I see her turn, see her smile at me, and she says, "Regardless of what I just said, I understand that word exists, it's a horrible word, and I do not like it said in any fashion in my classroom, and I also understand it can create certain emotions in us, especially if we're related to or have dear friends or even a spouse that happens to be black." I feel my smile seeing that Ms. Hoffman has darker skin, not completely white, and wonder if she's mix. And she said spouse. Maybe she's with someone that's black. I feel my smile getting bigger, see her smile back, and she says, "Just try to fight them, hopefully not with violence, but with how incredibly intelligent and giving you, your friends, and that boyfriend of yours, that needs to come tell me about that book on Booker T. Washington he was reading, are, okay?" I smile, exhale, and say, "Yes Ms. Hoffman. I'll remind him. And thank you." I see her smirk and she says, "Now go to talk to her and make sure she's okay." I nod, turn, and run after Lena.

---

I see those braids, grab her shoulder, feel her jump, run in front of her and see those watery eyes. I feel my mouth open and say, "Lena," but she cuts me off inhaling and saying, "I'm fine." But I can see she's about the start crying. I look around, seeing all the other students going to their 5th period, look back at her, and know she's not going to last until after school. And she looks so small, so tiny, right now. I say, "No you're not Lena."

I grab her hand, turn to my class, start walking to the door, and hear her say, "Jazzy?" I exhale seeing Ms. Reed at the door smiling as students are walking into class. I walk up to her, see her smile at me, and I say, "Ms. Reed, is it okay if I'm late to class today? I promise I'm not going home or skipping. I'll just be late by a little bit, please?" I see her eyes open, see her look to my left, and I see her give Lena a small smile. She turns to me and says, "The first fifteen minutes we'll be reviewing material covered before the break, be in class before then, and make sure to use the backdoor okay?" I exhale, smile, nod, and know I have awesome teachers. I look back at her, see her looking down, and I let go of her hand and put my arm around her shoulders. I feel her exhale and I whisper, "Come on, we'll just talk for a little okay?" I see her nod still looking down, pull her, and start walking to the restrooms.

I smile feeling her head on my shoulder, look over at her, see her looking at her phone, and whisper, "Everything always works out okay." I see a tear go down her cheek, pull her in, and feel her arms go around my waist. I exhale, look forward, knowing we're going to bump into people if both of us aren't looking forward, and see him and Michelle walking towards us. I feel my eyebrow rise, see him look up at us, and I look away. I feel my eyes get big, looking at the restroom door at the corner, remembering what my sister and Ming said during lunch. I exhale, happy my boyfriend and friends don't treat girls, people, like that. And then I remember what that jerk said to my best friend. I inhale and know first I need to help my friend that's hugging me right now.

We reach the door, I open it, walk in with her, pull away, look at her, see her watery eyes and that tear on her cheek, give her a small smile, and say, "Let me check okay?" I see her exhale and nod. I walk to the stalls, open each one, see they're empty, turn around, and see her looking in the mirror. I feel my lips purse, walk up next to her, turn to her, and say, "What happened during lunch?"

I see her exhale and see her close her eyes, seeing the big tears coming down. I feel my eyes open, walk up to her, hug her, and say, "Lena, what happened?" I feel her shaking and hear her say, in between sobs, "We broke up." I feel my eyes get bigger, hug her tighter, and say, "Why Lena, tell me."

After a few minutes of letting her cry and finally hearing her breathing okay I pull away, grab my extra scrunchie from my pocket, grab her hair, and I hear her say in that tiny voice, "What you doing Jazzy?" I exhale and say, "I'm putting your hair up so you can wash your face okay?" I hear her exhale and see her nod.

After washing her face, drying it, and reminding her that after using those hand towels she needs to remember to put lotion on her face when she gets home if her skin's as dry as mine can get, I hear her laugh. I smile, see her smile in the mirror, and she says in that tiny voice, "Thanks Jazzy." I smile and say, "Of course, you're my friend, now, do you wanna tell me what happened?" I see her exhale, see her purse her lips, and nod.

I see her inhale and she says, "This girl he had been talking to before we started dating came to our table at the beginning of lunch." I feel my eyes open, knowing after what he said at the Halloween party that he did talk to other girls, but just can't see him talking to girls because it's Phil, no matter how good looking he is now. I see her exhale and she says in that tiny voice, "And she was pretty." I feel my mouth open and she says, "She's really freaken pretty." I exhale and say, "So are you. You're like one of the prettiest girls in this whole school Lena." I see her smirk looking at the mirror, look down, exhale, and she says, "Thanks Jazzy, and it doesn't even matter if she's prettier than me. Really, this whole thing happened because she said some really stupid things that I know aren't true and then it didn't help that she was really pretty. I mean I know it shouldn't matter but some of the things she said just kind of got to me." I see her exhale and she says, "So after she left, I was feeling really bad because of what she said, and then her being one of those stupid popular girls here, and then Marcus shows up." I see her look up at me with pursed lips and she says, "He said he was there to ask me if I was ever gonna go back to hang out at the old table. I told him I was happy sitting at the math club table with my boyfriend." I see her inhale, see her eyes water, and I say, "Lena?" I see her swallow, nod, and she says, "Then Marcus said that whenever I want to go back to be with people that are more like me, they'd be at that table." I feel my eyebrow rise, see her exhale, and she says, "Yeah. It's stupid I know because he doesn't even just mean the other black kids that hang out at that table, but the transfers. It's like some of them, Marcus to, they want to stay in that little group that's just black kids that transferred and not come out, and I mean I don't get it, the girls and I still texts and hang out at the mall on the weekends, but Marcus makes it look like I don't hang out with them ever. But." I see her stop, exhale, and she says, "It's weird because he's the only one at that table that's said anything like that. Some of the guys even come over to the math club table to try to talk to some of the girls there and they liked Ph." I see her stop, see her eyes water again, and I say, "You don't have to say his name until we figure this out okay?" I see her nod, give me a small smile, and I exhale.

I ask, "Okay, before we even talk about Marcus, what happened with that girl?" I see her exhale, see her lips purse, and she says, "She's so fucken stupid." I feel my eyebrow rise. This is the first time I've heard her curse. I see her inhale and she says, "She came up to our table and started asking him about football season coming up and then she told him she was free this weekend and she wanted to hang out." I feel my other eyebrow rise, see her exhale, see her look at the ground, and she says, "I was about to tell her she could go to hell and he was my boyfriend." I see her inhale, see that small smile, and she says, "But before I could say anything he told her he'd be hanging out with his girlfriend, me." I see her exhale, see that small smile go away, and she says, "Then that stupid bitch told him I wasn't the kind of girl that he deserved. That he needed someone that." I feel my eyes open, knowing she has to be mad, and she says, "Was at least a little fucken pretty." I inhale and say, "What?"

I see her exhale, look up at me, see that smirk, and she says, "And right before I got up to kick her ass he told her to leave before his girlfriend, who was the prettiest girl in this school, defended herself." I exhale, see her look down again, and she says, "Then she left, hopefully mad."

I exhale and say, "Okay and then what happened?" I see her look up at me with those watery eyes, know I'm going to have to hug her soon, and she says, "Well, I felt happy he said that but I still felt you know." I see her exhale with those watery eyes and she says, "Just, like she was right." I feel my mouth open, blink, and say, "Lena but why? You are seriously really pretty, at least that's what I thought the first day we met." I see her give me a small smile and she says, "I guess it's just, you know, stupid insecurities, and then it all just got really bad after that."

I nod and say, "Okay, she was really dumb, like more than I've ever known anyone, but how did it go from her saying things that aren't true to the Marcus thing to you two." I stop, seeing her eyes water and say, "Okay, we're not even gonna say it, but how did it happen?" I see her inhale, close her eyes, exhale, open those charcoal colored eyes, and she says, "It just all added up to that. I don't even know; I was just so mad and then feeling like she was right and maybe he should be with someone prettier and then stupid Marcus shows up and he reminds me that it even matters that I'm black, like it even matters, I know I'm black and I'm proud but I'm even prouder that I try so hard and I'm smart, I know it, my parents tell me when I call them. They tell me how smart I am and how proud they are that I'm so responsible, always listening to my sister, and they tell me she even tells them how much I study and how much I'm a good, a good." I see those eyes watering, see her breathing, and see her losing the battle.

I step up, put my arms around her, feel her lean her head on my shoulder, and I hear her say, "They tell me I'm smart," hear her breathe, "They tell me I'm so mature, like my sister, and," hear her sob, "I'm just like her, super responsible, and they know," hear her inhale, hug her harder, "That I'm gonna go to college after this, a big college, and that," hear her sob, feel her arms around my torso, "That I'm gonna be the first one to go to a big college and my mom tells me how," feel her shaking, "I'm really pretty to, not only smart, so why did that stupid bitch say that in front of him, like I don't already have to deal with all this stupid shit, being here, away from my old friends, my old school, my mom and dad, and all the stupid kids that look at me because I hang out with other kids, kids that aren't," I feel her hug me harder, hear her inhale, "Black and transfers, like fucken Marcus. I don't care that's Phil's white, that I'm black, that he grew up here and I didn't. My sister likes him, my friends here like him, I like him a lot, a lot, I liked him, he was, he was," I hear her lose it and hear the sobbing, and I hug her.

After a few minutes and ending up on the floor, leaning on the wall, holding her hand on my knee, I say, "You know I don't see it." I hear her say, "See what?" I exhale and say, "What's pretty and what's not." I see that perfect dark skin and smile at how the sun makes it shine a little. I hear her say, "I don't either Jazzy." I exhale and I say, "I do know that girl was more than dumb thinking you're anything but pretty and Marcus is just wrong, you can hang out with whoever makes you feel good, makes you feel happy." I hear her exhale and she says in that tiny voice, "Phil was my first boyfriend and he made me feel good, made me feel pretty."

I see her put her fingers through mine, hear her exhale, and hear her say, "And I break up with my first boyfriend because of a stupid girl that made me jealous, made me feel I wasn't as pretty as her, just because she was one of those pretty white girls that you know has money because of how she dresses, and then Marcus making me think I was doing something wrong, hanging out with people that weren't transfers and blacks, even if some of the kids in the club are black, just have families that have a little money and grew up here, but they don't care, the students in that club, my friends, they don't care about any of that stuff, my old friends I still talk to from my old school, the girls and some of guys at my old table, they don't care, and they know I started hanging out at that table because of how Marcus was being saying dumb things when Phil would leave, not even saying those things to his face, probably because he knows Phil's on the football team." I see her pulling on my skin, seeing it get a little red, remembering how red I still get outside sometimes, and I hear her say, "And I like who I am, I like that my friends know I'm black and it just is, it doesn't matter to them, you know, like you. We both like being black."

I exhale, feeling my smile, and say, "I've never liked how red I get when I pull on my skin or get frustrated or I'm in the sun too long. I mean I love looking like my mom, even though people don't know she's part black to, but it's just that I confuse people, because they don't know what I am, and they treat me weird, like not talking to me because I look too white or being total racist jerks because I didn't look white to them, and all of that, it's always made me feel a little ugly." I hear her inhale, feel her move away, look over at her, see her looking at me with her dark thin eyebrow raised and she says, "How are people confused with what you are? Anyone can tell you're part black."

I feel my eyebrow rise, see her exhale, smirk at me, and she says, "I only talked shit when we met because I wanted to scare you. I knew you were at least a little black. I could tell." I feel my other eyebrow rise and before I can ask, she says, "A little from your hair, but then I saw your lips, and you're thick like we are." I feel my mouth open, see her laugh, and feel my smile, hearing that laugh, and remember how pretty she is.

I exhale and say, "I was jealous of you when we met." I see her stop, see that eyebrow rise again, and she says, "Why?" I see that look, like she just can't imagine why I would be jealous of her. I exhale and say, "Because you're really pretty Lena, really you are, it's not just that you're thin but still have curves, it's your skin, your eyes, it just all matches, like a pretty girl should, you know, look, and then you are completely black and." I exhale, look away, knowing I know him but I can't help the insecurities.

I hear her say, "Jazzy." I inhale, look back at her, see her smirking, and she says, "Honestly, look, I get he's a cute guy, he is, but so are all your other guy friends, and really, I still thought he was cute when I got here, but he kind of um." I feel my eyebrow rise, see her purse her lips, and she says, "He kind of is too much into the 'fighting the white man' thing. Like look, I get it, it is the white man's fault, a lot of the stuff I go through, the reason I'm even in this school is because my old school wasn't good compared to this school because we didn't have enough money because we didn't have enough kids with money there, and kids with money are mostly white and that school was trying to fix it by bussing white kids in but." I see her exhale and she says, "That's stuff I've heard from my cousins and family my whole life and I just get tired, how they keep telling me I gotta go to college to be educated and be some big attorney to help our community. Like I get it, I want to help one day, but really, I really just want to be a teacher, a math teacher, because math is easy, it's easy for me to see, and I like it, and it just makes sense, there's no color in that, like it's just the right or the wrong answer, it's simple, and I like that. I'm tired of people telling me I have to be a strong black woman one day, like being a teacher one day, teaching math, isn't being a strong black woman. I just want to be a girl right now, not 'be black' or 'not be black', I just want to have fun with a guy that makes me feel like I'm the prettiest." I see her inhale, see those eyes water over a little, and I say, "Prettiest girl ever because you are."

I see her give me a small smile and she says, "Yeah. I don't need to be anything else. I just have to be me and with your man." I see her stop, see her smirk, and she says, "I don't remember what we talked about anymore, but I remember feeling kind of bored, like if I didn't ask him about a book he read, that just had to be about black people, which are good books, but still, if it wasn't about that, he really didn't wanna talk to me. I just kind of." I see her look away and she says, "Was happy it was only those two dates and I guess I just kind of forgot that a few weeks after we went on those dates. So." I see her look back at me with that small smile and she says, "I don't see why you would be jealous or even think it matters that I'm completely black, because you actually like talking about that stuff and you're into it, like he is I think, and then feeling like you're not pretty, I just don't get that to." I see her stop, see her smirk, and she says, "Specially knowing how many people have crushes on you and all your friends." I feel my eyes open, see her smile, and she says, "So don't be thinking I'm prettier or that any of that matters when the only things that matter are that we're pretty enough for us and for them, we're with people that make us feel pretty and smart, we like being with them because they're smart and funny and sweet with us, no matter what anyone thinks, just because they used to be really shy and people can't see them having a girlfriend, and even better than any of that stuff, we're friends now and friends aren't jealous of each other, okay?"

I let go of that hand, lean over, hug her, feel those pretty braids on my face from that side ponytail, and I hear her laugh. I feel her hug me, close my eyes, remembering what I said to him last week, how I felt today at lunch, and say, "Thank you Lena. Because of all those stupid people saying things that weren't true when I was little I never thought I was pretty, I was confusing and they even called me ugly, and then dating my best friend who I had this big crush on, knowing he thinks I'm pretty enough but still telling myself I wasn't as pretty as other girls he talked to, that I wasn't completely anything, white or black, that I wasn't something I should be, I just ended up feeling like this and not telling anyone. Like I was pretty enough for him and I had to be okay with that even if I never thought I was as pretty as other girls he dated and other girls that look at him. And you're right, I'm pretty enough for me and for him and I'm just what I need to be, like you're pretty enough for yourself and Phil, and you're just what he wanted the first day he saw you."

I feel her inhale, pull away, see those watery eyes, and she says in that tiny voice, "Do you think I can fix this?" I feel my smirk and say, "Lena, yes, Phil talked to other girls, probably, but he never asked me about a girl until that day you showed up. And." I see her inhale, see those tears drying up, and I say, "Your parents are right, you're smart and you know the answer to that."

I see that smile, hear a phone vibrate, see her pull out her phone and look at it, see that smile, and she says, "Okay it's time to go and I'll reply to those texts on my way to class." I feel my eyebrow rise and say, "Why is it time to go?" I see her look up, see her smirk, and she says, "Because on the way here I set an alarm to make sure you wouldn't be late back to your class because your teacher was really nice and I wanted to make sure you made it back on time." I exhale, pull her into a hug, feel her hug me back, and I whisper, "We're friends Lena, we care for each other, so remember to text me if this happens again, don't wait for class, just text or call me, and remember, Phil thinks you're the prettiest girl at this school, I know you're one of the prettiest girls at this school for sure, and you're a strong, smart, friend, that's proud of who she is and should be with people that make her happy, not who she thinks she needs to be with."

I feel her exhale and hear her whisper, "Thanks Jazzy, on everything, and I think the same about you, but just change the name Phil with your afro." I laugh, remembering Ming also calls him that, hear another vibrate, pull away, see that smile, and she says, "Let's go so you can make it to class on time and I can text him on my way to class." I exhale and nod.

---

I inhale, hold my breath, push the handle down slowly, push the door open, step in, see Ms. Reed writing on the board, and everyone looking down at their paper. I creep in, turn around slowly, close the door, hear the click of the door, turn around, and exhale, seeing that no one heard it. I creep up behind the back row, walk up behind Adah, pass her, see her look up at me with a small smile, see her open her mouth, close it, look down at her desk, grab a sheet behind her paper, and a pen out of her pen bag on her desk, feeling my eyebrow rise. Then I smile, seeing her give them to me. Such as awesome friends. I smile, mouth 'thank you Adie', see her smile and nod, and I keep creeping back to my desk.

I sit down, put my 'Jazzy' backpack on the floor, making sure the metal 'J' on my backpack doesn't make noise on the floor, and start copying the notes on the board. I smile seeing that I remember most of the stuff I'm writing down. I see Ms. Reed turn around, see her smile at me, smile back, and keep writing down the notes.

Then I hear the whisperings, roll my eyes, and hear Ms. Reed's voice say, "I think I stated at the beginning of the semester about passing notes Michelle. Do you care to share with the class what that note that you were going to pass to Mackenzie says?" I shake my head, keep writing, and hear Michelle say, "Not really Ms. Reed." Must be bad what's on that note.

I hear Ms. Reed say, "Fine. Bring it to me." I hear her chair move, hear steps, and then steps back to her desk. I keep writing thinking I might have to study what 'space-race intersections' means again. I know it was about how being in a race made you live in a space, but I can't remember the rest. Darn it. I smile thinking I'll just read it tonight and bother my bestie about it later to make sure I get it.

I hear Ms. Reed say, "Michelle." I feel my eyebrow rise, look up, see Ms. Reed looking at Michelle, kind of squinting her eyes, and she says, "We do not speak about someone's gender, race, physical characteristics, or in any derogatory way in this class or on this campus. Now do you need to speak to the principal so you can understand that and how you could be suspended based on this note alone?" I feel my other eyebrow rise, look over at Michelle, see her exhale, look down, see her look up at me, roll her eyes, and she says, "No Ms. Reed. I don't need to talk to the principal." I hear Ms. Reed inhale, look back at her, and she says, "This will be your only warning. Next time you will go to the principal's office." I hear an inhale, look forward, see him looking at me, and I look back down at my paper and start writing notes next to the things I need to study.

I hear Ms. Reed's heels clicking back to her desk and hear Michelle say, "Can I have my note back Ms. Reed?" Seriously? When did she become so, mean, and like that.

I hear Ms. Reed say, "No you may not. I will be discussing this note with your parents at the next parent-teacher meeting." I hear Michelle say, "Seriously Ms. Reed? I was just saying the truth, she does have a big," and hear Ms. Reed cut her off with, "Finish that sentence Michelle and you will not only be going to the principal's office but you will receive 'U's on your final report card for the semester based on not following the class codes we discussed at the beginning of the semester about respecting everyone in class."

I exhale, making those notes, trying to remember what my friend said about me being a strong girl two minutes ago. I'm not dumb, a little childish sometimes, maybe kind of immature, but I'm not dumb, I know what she was going to say. I swallow, feel my eyes getting watery, wanting to just go home. Why am I being so emotional today? It doesn't matter that she or her friends think I have a big butt. It doesn't.

I inhale and hear Ms. Reed voice say, "Jazmine." I blink, trying to make the tears dry up, looking at the paper, and hear her say, "Do you want to go outside for a few minutes. It's fine, you can take your time."

I exhale, know I can't talk right now, but I'm stronger than this, and I know that because my sister and mom are strong, and I need to be a grown up for them, and not let dumb girls get to me. I think about those dark ocean blue eyes that went through horrible things with those people, those dark, deep ocean black eyes that left things in Ohio because they don't matter, and those hazel eyes that probably cried a lot when she was little because of those cousins that made her feel bad. They're so strong, all of them, and they're all so pretty because they're all proud of who they are. And they're all so different. They look different, act different, have different kinds of bodies even if they're all fit, but they're all so pretty. And even though they're such good friends and sweet and smart and funny, I think their boyfriends like them to because of how pretty they are. And then I feel my smile, remembering lunch and how my bestie slapped my thigh. He likes my thighs I think. And, my thighs, my butt, my hips, my hair, my eyes, all came from my mom's family. My mom, who's the strongest woman I know and the best mom ever. And I'm not going to let anyone, not any jerk or dumb girl that likes my boyfriend make me feel like they're too big or too anything.

I inhale, see my eyes focus on the paper, look up at Ms. Reed, see her worried face, smile at her, and say, "I'm okay Ms. Reed but I think I forgot what 'space-race intersections' means so can you tell me what week we went over that so I can look through my notes?"

I see her exhale, see her smile, and she says, "Week five and the general definition is a group of people of the same race being placed in a location by outside forces and being kept in that place, usually by discriminatory acts, and then becoming associated to that place." I feel my eyes open and say, "Oh I remember now. And then when people think about that place they think about that race to. Is that right Ms. Reed?" I see her smirk and she says, "Yes and that group, that people need to fight in anyways they can to remove themselves from that place by going against what people do and say to keep them there and it takes endurance, action, and strength to do that." I smile, knowing I have two favorite teachers this semester and they're both strong, smart, women, like my mom, and say, "Thank you Ms. Reed." I see her smile and she says, "You welcome."

I see her turn, walking to her desk, and turn back to my paper to write it down, feeling my smile. Then I hear her say, "Okay everyone, now I would like you to get in groups of no more than four people and discuss the last holiday with an emphasize on what you've learned in this class during the semester and of course I want you to write it down and make sure everyone's name is on the page before turning it in."

I think I need to ask her about examples just to make sure I know for sure what 'space-race intersections' means. I hear a desk move next to me, look over to my right, and smile at Adah and then feel my eyebrow rise seeing Johnny sitting down in the desk in front of her. I look back at Adah, see her smile, and see her nod.

I say, "Really?" She starts laughing and I look over at Johnny and see him blush looking at her. Oh my god. So cute. I start giggling, see her stop laughing with that blush and that smile, and I say, "You're texting me later." I see her look away with that smile and says, "Okay Jazzy."

I smile, stand up, turn my desk to face her, sit down, and hear, "But why can't I be in that group Ms. Reed?" I look up, see Michelle at Ms. Reed's desk, and Ms. Reed says, "Because Michelle, Mackenzie and you have already disrupted the class once today and I know it will only get worse if I let you be in the same group."

I hear someone say, "Can I be your group?," and hear Johnny say, "Sure man." I see Michelle exhale and she says, "Fine but all the other groups have four people already." I look around, then to my left, and then look down at my paper. Darn it.

Then I hear Ms. Reed say, "Any group is fine Michelle as long as it's not the same one Mackenzie is in." I exhale, look behind my chair for my backpack to get my notebook and then feel a girl's hand grab my hand. I look back to the front, see Adah take her hand away, and see her with her notebook and a pen. I smile, shake my head, and say, "I can write this time if you want." I see her smirk and she says, "We need your brains." I snicker.

Then I hear a chair move to my left, look over and see Michelle putting a chair next to Cairo. Oh Black Jesus please let this period go fast.

I hear Ms. Reed's voice, "Jazmine, is everything okay?" I look up, smile, and say, "Yes, Ms. Reed, Adah wants to do the writing because she writes a lot nicer than I do." I feel that slap on my hand, snicker, and see Ms. Reed smile.

Then I hear, "So we gotta talk about how some people saved the world during the break?" I exhale, look at Adah, see her smirk and remember how much she makes me laugh when we text, and I can't help and start laughing. I hear someone inhale and then hear Cairo say, "Nah. You didn't hear? Gotta talk 'bout Thanksgiving and what we learned in class."

I stop laughing and smile seeing Adah writing down our names in that nice handwriting. I don't lie. She really does have nice handwriting. I see her stop, look up and look over at Johnny. I look over at him, snicker seeing him blushing looking at Adah, and then see him look away. I think he might be shyer than Phil. Oh Jesus.

I hear him clear his throat looking away and he says, "Guess I can start. So I know Thanksgiving's about how the Indians helped the Pilgrims giving them food and I think helping them learn how to live in the cold and you know how to grow food and." I see him stop, purse his lips, looks down at this desk, and he says, "It just made me think of the beginning of the semester when we talked about Karl Marx and how he talked about different classes, one class having more money than another class, people that have more money using other people to make more money, so." I feel my eyebrow rise, trying to figure out how that would kind of connect because the Pilgrims came to the New World for religious freedom and I think Karl Marx was talking more about one class having more power over another class.

Then I hear Michelle say, "It's because the Pilgrims were smarter and made the Indians help them like one class that has more money telling another class what to do." I feel my other eyebrow rise, look over at her, see her again up close, with her straight dark red hair, her brownish green eyes, her perfect skin, and I'm not jealous anymore. I exhale. Maybe that's why I thought she was nice, because we weren't in groups together last year and I didn't know she was so.

I hear Johnny say, "That's really racist." I exhale and hear Adah exhale to. I look over at her, see her look at me, and see her shake her head, erasing what she was just writing.

I hear Johnny say, "I was gonna say maybe it was the other way around back then. Like, I know the Indians were religious and maybe they were doing it, helping the Pilgrims, because they knew it was a good thing and it just reminded me how things aren't like that anymore, how people don't just help, how Karl Marx said it was about class and money now." I feel my smile, look back at Adah, see her writing in that nice handwriting, and giggle seeing her blushing looking at the paper. I can see that connection.

Then I hear Cairo say, "It ain't like that. People do help, do shit, for others, just cuz they want to. Just gotta find people like that." I exhale, thinking about that afro and how much he helps, how much of a good person he is.

I see Adah look up, see her look around, look back at me, and she says, "My turn?" I snicker and then hear Michelle say, "Didn't know we had a leader." I roll my eyes and hear Adah say, "In this group we do." I laugh, grab the paper from Adah, the pen from her hand, and say, "I write, you talk, group effort remember." I look at the paper, hear her exhale, know she's smirking, and hear Adah say, "Okay, so I guess Johnny just reminded me of that other author Ms. Reed was comparing Karl Marx to. I think his name was Max Weber." I write down Adah's name first, then the author's name, and hear Adah say, "Jazzy tell me if it isn't right okay?" I smile, looking at the paper with her nice handwriting, and say, "It'll probably be right Adie." I hear an exhale from my left and then hear Adah say, "So I think Max Weber said that class comes from having economic power, like being able to get stuff, like boats and food and houses, and it was the Indians that had all that stuff. They had arrows and a place to live and knew how to grow food where they were and had clothes, a lot of things the Pilgrims probably only had a little of or maybe didn't have any, like I'm sure the Pilgrims didn't have arrows and even if they had guns, my history teacher said they probably didn't have a lot of gun powder when they got to the New World so really, they weren't going to have those guns after a while, so." I keep writing, trying to keep up with everything she's saying, and hear her say, "I think, back then, the Indians had the economic power and were nice enough to the Pilgrims to not use it against them. The Indians could have not helped them but they did anyways. So, even though the Pilgrims had more economic power than the Pilgrims, they were nice and didn't use that power on the Pilgrims but helped them."

I smile, writing it all down, and then hear Michelle say, "The leader's next?" I exhale, finish writing the last word, look up at Adah, see her smile, and she says, "Give me." I smile, give her the paper and pen, see her look down at the paper, and feel my eyebrow rise seeing her write down Michelle's name next.

I see her dark brown eyes look up towards Michelle, see her lips purse, and she says, "Nope. The leader goes last because she likes having the hardest job or trying to find something to say after we all talked. But you're next." I feel my eyebrow rise, knowing we started talking this semester and she's really nice and funny, and I haven't seen her be cold to anyone. I wonder if she just doesn't like Michelle.

I hear Michelle exhale and she says, "I'm not even supposed to be in this group so just write down my name on the paper and some stuff next to it." I see Adah exhale and she says, "I did write down your name but I'm not gonna lie and put down that you talked when you didn't Michelle because we all have to talk and if you don't want to participate then I can just leave your part blank."

I hear Michelle exhale, look over at her, and see her squinting her eyes at Adah. What's going on? Then, I see Michelle smirk, and she says, "Why you being nice now Adah? You weren't nice before. You trying to make up for it?" I feel my eyebrow rise and hear Johnny say, "Michelle, that was a long time ago and she doesn't have to make up for anything." I feel my eyes get big, look over at Johnny, see him looking at Michelle, and before I can ask I hear Michelle say, "Defending her Johnny? Why? Something happening between you two? Didn't know your parents were okay with you seeing someone that doesn't go to your church."

I hear Adah inhale and I can't stop myself from saying, "Why does that even matter?" I look back at Michelle, see her raise her chin, and she says, "Because my family goes to that church and I know his parents wouldn't," but Johnny cuts her off with, "You don't know anything." I feel my smile, see her inhale, see her look back at Johnny, squinting her eyes, and hear Johnny say, "Your parents show up on Sundays, like they're supposed to, but you don't, you don't know anything about the teachings, how we're told to accept and love everyone, and how close that is to the teachings of Judaism." I feel my smile get bigger, look over at Adah, see her looking at her paper, completely red, and giggle. So cute.

I hear Michelle inhale and hear her say, "I show up when I can and anyways, I don't think your parents would be okay with it. Like I know for sure for you to even date someone your parents would have to know her parents first and then you would have to ask her dad for permission. You're the Pastor's son, you have to follow these rules, I mean you know this Johnny." I feel my eyebrow rise and wonder if they know each other through church that much.

I hear Johnny say, "I do know the rules and I can see you don't even go to the classes they have on dating because it's not just that." I see Adah smirk and see her look up from her paper at Johnny. I look over at him, see him inhale, looking at Michelle, and he says, "That's just the beginning, then I have to talk to her mom alone so she can ask me questions and I can answer them honestly so she can see that I like her daughter because I like her and I'm not trying to see her for sinful reasons and then after that." I see him look away, see him blush, and he says, "Then, if her mom says it's okay, we can go on a date on Friday night and I have to make sure to bring her home before ten and then on Saturday she's supposed to spend time with her family at her synagogue and I'm supposed to go to the classes they have at my church, and on Sundays she's supposed to spend time with her family because she's a good honest girl and I help my father at our church and pray to be of service and good to my family, friends, and her, because my parents like her, because she is a good honest girl and my parents say that's who the teachings say we should date."

I see him exhale with that blush, feel my smile, and I say, "That's kind of romantic." I hear Adah giggle, see Johnny look over at her, see him smile, and look away with that blush. Oh gosh, I have to remember to text her later about this.

I hear Michelle exhale and hear her say, "And now you're gonna be defending her?" I hear Adah inhale she says, "No. I can defend myself to, and Johnny's right, I don't have to make up for anything because I already said I was sorry and we're not talking about this okay. If you don't wanna participate, fine, but you're not getting credit for it."

I hear Michelle inhale and hear her say, "When did you start talking? Just because you're dating Johnny now you think anything's changed. You were quiet back then and didn't say anything but now that everyone forgot you think you're different?" I feel my eyebrow rise, exhale, not liking how she's talking to Adah, and hear her say, "Oh and even if you're really not different, because you're not, I can tell my sister now that thanks to you she can move on because he'd rather date a Jewish girl than her."

I inhale, feel Adah grab my hand, knowing now she has a lot more patience than I do, and hear Johnny say, "If you're okay with making your sister feel bad about anything, you really do need to go back to church." I exhale, he's such a good guy.

Then I hear Ms. Reed's voice say, "Okay everyone, we're almost halfway through class and you need to make sure everyone participates. So you should all move on to another person that hasn't talked, making sure to write down that person's name and however that person participated."

I hear Johnny say, "Cairo, do you wanna go next?" I feel Adah's hand move away, see her grab her pen, look down at the paper, and hear Cairo say, "Yeah."

I exhale, looking at that nice handwriting, and hear him say, "So, Thanksgiving's supposed to be 'bout giving, food and other things, like clothes and shit, things people ain't got, so it just reminds me of what the teacher talked about when she said blacks and other people that don't got money, they're poor not just because they don't got money but because they live in bad neighborhoods, places that ain't got good amenities, so how are they supposed to help others when they live like that and can't give, when they don't got money and extra clothes to give, barely getting by and shit. Should be people with money that give, that volunteer, not people that ain't got money or only got some, but those are the people that do help, do volunteer, actually care 'bout more than themselves. It's the people that only got some and not a lot of money that volunteer but the people that have a lot, have time to volunteer, have money to give, they don't."

I smile remembering that afro and how he doesn't know how happy Frank really was that he was there helping so he could spend time with Mr. Willis. Hopefully he'll be back for Christmas to spend time with Mr. Willis like he said he wanted to.

I see Adah's handwriting and wonder why I didn't ask her to be my friend before. Maybe I was just really shy.

Then I hear Johnny's voice say, "Yeah. My family dropped off some food at the shelter but we couldn't stay because we had to go back to church for Thanksgiving readings. That was cool that you did that Jazmine." I look over at Johnny, see him giving me a small smile, smile at him, and I hear Adah say, "You and Huey do that every year right?" I look over at her, feel my smile get bigger thinking about him, and say, "Yeah, since elementary, but back then all I did was run around trying to help by keeping Mr. Willis entertained even though I thought I was helping." I see her laugh, hear Johnny laughing to, noticing that I don't hear him laugh at school, and feeling my happiness get bigger, thinking he must be happy they're dating.

Then I hear Cairo say, "How'd you find that place and why'd you start volunteering?"

I look over at him, see him looking at me, exhale, remembering we're in class, and say, "I found out about the shelter when my father took me there to look for a client that had just been paroled and Mr. Willis was nice enough to let him look inside for that person. I just stayed in Mr. Willis's office coloring on his desk that day. And later, when I got a little older and my mom let me, we started volunteering there." I feel my lips purse and look down, thinking about that day when I met Mr. Willis, how nice he was, but still, it was probably not really safe for me to be there. I mean why would Tom take me to look for a client that could've been a criminal? I mean I was little, like six or seven I think.

I hear Johnny say, "Isn't that kind of dangerous, you know, taking you to see a client? I mean I've met some people that came out of jail and I don't know how old you were but a girl, any girl, shouldn't be around those people unless they're trying to get better, but you never know." I exhale, look over at him, smirk, knowing that's kind of a 'guyish' thing to say but he was just raised like that, and I say, "Yeah but luckily I was fine and I got to meet Mr. Willis and I found out how nice some of the people that work there and sleep there are, so I guess it worked out okay." People there are nice, I just feel bad that it's hard for them to leave that place because of how much they struggle with jobs and just getting a place to live. A place to live. People staying in a place.

I feel my eyes open, look at Adah and say, "I got it." I see her smirk and she says, "Okay, it's Jazzy's turn." I smile and say, "So race-space intersectional means how people are put in a place, like a shelter, because of other people making it hard for them, like not giving them jobs because of their record or like not giving them a place to live because they've been homeless and living on the streets their whole life and don't have credit, and then how that happens to one race a lot, too much, and it makes it hard for them to leave that place, that space. So, at the shelter I've met a lot of people, but a lot more black older people and kids." I exhale, seeing Adah writing really fast, and say, "So when people think about the shelter, even though Mr. Willis wants to help everyone and lets anyone stay there, people always think about black people because they think it's only them that stay there and it makes it even harder when they, moms, dads, teenagers with really cool names, are trying to get out of there, getting jobs or just moving into a nice place where they can be safe with their family. I mean some of those kids have parents that can't even feed them, give them clothes, or pay the water bill to wash their cute dirty faces, and they come to the shelter on Thanksgiving to eat a good warm meal and have somewhere to sit and eat for a little bit." I exhale, see her writing, smile, thinking about that day, look over at Cairo, see him looking at me, and say, "Thank you for cleaning." I look over at Johnny, see him looking at Adah blushing, smile, and say, "Thank you for the food Johnny." I see him look up at me and I look over at Adah, see her writing, and say, "And thank you for being you Adie." I see her stop, look up at me, see her smile, and see her look down at the paper and start writing again.

I inhale, looking at that paper, and say, "So, that's how race-space intersectional kind of, maybe, connects to Thanksgiving. Those people that came to the shelter that day came because they had to, not because they're lazy and don't wanna get jobs or pay their bills, they're nice people that are looking for work, probably why some of those kids were there alone, because their parents are looking for work, sometimes looking for a second or third job, and just can't find one because of so many things that keep them there, in that space, in that place, and then a lot of the time one race or just people of color find it harder to get out of that place because they are black, Latino, or just not white enough. Because some people think you not being white enough is bad, it's." I stop. Not being white enough. White enough.

I inhale, look back at Michelle, and exhale, seeing her smirk at me. I feel a warm hand on my hand and hear Adah say, "Jazzy?" I exhale and remember her standing there. She had long blond hair back then that she put up in a bun sometimes. She didn't wear make up. That's why I didn't remember her from middle school. And because we only started having classes together last year, here in high school. But middle school was smaller with less students and everyone knew everyone even if we weren't in any classes together. But mostly I didn't remember her because back then she looked really different. I think she looked prettier back then with her natural hair and not so much make up. But then in high school she came back with that new hairstyle, make up, new clothes, and she started using her first name and not her middle name. But she's still the same girl. I inhale and say, "Adie and Johnny are right. She doesn't have to apologize for anything. Not only because it was a long time ago but because she didn't stand there and make the crowd bigger, watching." I feel Adah's hand squeeze mine, see Michelle's smirk get bigger, hope to Black Jesus I don't slap her, and I say, "Adie and Johnny would at least leave and I'm pretty sure were one of the reasons teachers would sometimes show up, because they would at least go say something, and not stand there with the other kids, watching it happen."

I exhale and hear Cairo say, "So it wasn't only fuckers saying shit to you. It was kids, racist ones, that didn't do shit, just watched."

I see her eyes get big, see her look at Cairo, and I look back at Adah, smile at her worried face, and say, "Adie, can you add that if someone wants to get out of that place, that space, they need endurance, action, and strength?" I see her exhale, see her smile, and she says, "And they need brains."

Oh my god, I close my eyes, start laughing, hear her laugh, and smile hearing Johnny snicker. He must be happy.

I hear Ms. Reed's voice say, "That's great work everyone." I stop laughing, look up and see Ms. Reed looking over Adah's shoulder at the paper. I see her purse her lips, exhale, and she says, "But someone did not contribute and won't be getting credit if they don't and." I see her stop, smirk, and she says, "Very nice penmanship Adah."

Then I see Ms. Reed turn and walk over to the other group, I look down at Adah, smirk, see her smirking at me, and I say, "I was right and I expect a text tonight." I see her giggle, look over at Johnny, see her blush, and she says, "Okay Jazzy."

I hear Michelle saying Cairo's name and him not answering, and know mom is not raising us to treat girls, people, like he does, and really, she's only a dumb girl and didn't really say anything to me even in middle school.

I exhale and say, "Michelle." I hear her stop, hear her inhale, and I say, "You weren't one of the kids that called me those names, so you shouldn't be blamed for it." I hear her exhale and hear her say, "I don't need your help." I exhale, look over at her, see her looking at me with those eyes, almost as cold as someone else's blue eyes, and remember what she said to my Huey during lunch and then what she said about me in that note. I inhale and say, "I'm not trying to help you, I'm just saying you weren't one of those kids that called me those names and we were in middle school, a really bad one where teachers didn't care about that stuff, a kid getting bullied, and we were all just trying to get out of there, get to high school where some of us thought it would get better, but luckily for me, before I left that place, I got help from my best friend and I'll defend that help. So." I stop, see her inhale, looking at me, and I say, "Don't come near my friends or my boyfriend again or I'll show you what a girl, a girl that's proud of what she looks like because it comes from both her black families, can do to defend her friends and boyfriend." I see her exhale, squint her eyes, and she says, "That a threat?" I exhale, roll my eyes, look back at Adah, see her smirking at me, and I say, "Sure."

I see her start laughing, start laughing with her, and hear Cairo say, "You black on both sides?"

Darn it. I don't want him to know anything about me. I look away and hear Adah say, "I guess I can see that with your mom being so pretty. I mean I'm not saying anything about completely white moms, they can be really pretty to, but your mom looks different, like she's from somewhere else, so it kind of always made me think she was mix to and." I look up at Adah, feel my smile thinking about my mom, see her smile at me, and she says, "I remember when my uncle came with my mom and dad for our science fair in middle school, I think he really liked your mom and my mom had to tell him she was married." I start snickering, knowing she is beautiful, and say, "Yeah. She's creole. It's kind of a mix of African and French and then some Native American to."

I hear Ms. Reed say, "Okay everyone, fifteen more minutes. That's enough for the last person to contribute before class ends."

I look at Michelle, see her looking at her phone, roll my eyes, and hear Johnny say, "Michelle are you gonna participate?"

I hear a few exhales and then hear Johnny say, "I guess not. So, where do creole people come from?"

I smile, look up at Johnny, see him looking at me with those cool Clark Kent glasses and brown eyes, and I say, "Well they can be from anywhere. But I was reading some books about the creole language during the break and found out that they do come mostly from Louisiana where the French stayed after the Louisiana purchase and a lot of African slaves had already been brought over by the French and then there were always Native Americans because they were everywhere but then you know, were getting killed." She could use that to participate, how Native Americans were treated and how that kind seems like class and economic power. So many ways she could participate.

I look over at her, see her looking at her phone, and say, "Michelle, you know," and stop, feeling Adah's hand over mine. I look over at her, see her shake her head, and she says, "You can only help someone if they want it Jazzy and I want to know more about creole people. So is your mom from Louisiana?" I smile, nod, and say, "Yeah. But." I stop, see her eyebrow rise, and I say, "I've never asked you, where are your parents from?"

I see her smile and then hear Michelle say, "She's Jewish. Duh." Oh my god. I exhale, see Adah roll her eyes, and then hear Johnny say, "Being Jewish means you have a religion, you know, one where you follow the rules and pray when you're supposed to, it's not a place you're from." I see Adah blush, see her look down, and she says, "Yeah. My parents are from New Jersey. They were born and raised there. My grandma on my dad's side was the only survivor from her family, moved here after the war, met my grandpa who was German, but raised and born here, and he converted for her." I feel my smile, see her look up and smile at me, and she says, "Yeah. And because my grandpa was converted it's always been okay in my family to not be Jewish and believe what you believe. We actually have a few religions in our family. So my parents are Jewish but are really open minded. That's why they didn't make me go a Jewish school. And they've always told me that if I ever want to change my beliefs, I can, and they'll support me."

I smile and hear Cairo say, "So, Creole people, they religious?" I exhale and hear Johnny say, "They can be I think. There's a man that goes to our church now that says he's creole but I don't know where he's from, that's why I asked. But he converted when he started going to our church so I think they can be religious if they want to be."

I smile, look at Johnny, and see him looking at his desk. He's nice and listens to people and he's actually really open minded.

I hear Adah say, "What about your family Jazzy? Are they religious or do they go to church?"

I look back at her, smile, and say, "Well I guess it just depends on what side you're talking about. My father's Christian but my mom's more spiritual, like my grandma, and she's really open minded so if I ever wanted to go back to church I'm sure I could but." I feel my smirk, see her smirk back at me, and she says, "Huey."

I hear him inhale and hear Cairo say, "That fool wouldn't let you go to church?"

I feel my eyebrow rise, look at him, see him looking at me with that angry look again, smile, and start laughing. Oh my Black Jesus.

I hear Adah laughing with me and hear Michelle say, "What's funny? You know Huey, who everyone knows doesn't go to church, wants a girl that doesn't go to church so you wouldn't go?"

I exhale, smile at Adah, see her smirk at me, and she says, "He'd probably make you take a notebook with you no matter what church you went to." I snicker and say, "Well you know Huey, he just wants to make sure they don't get the history wrong."

I hear Johnny say, "You know you don't have to go to church to be a good person or a good honest girl, but you won't get into heaven, so just know you and Huey can always start coming to my church."

I look over at him, see him looking at Adah with that blush, smile, and say, "Thank you Johnny."

I hear the bell ring, look back at Adah, and say, "Adie?" I see her smile and she says, "Text tonight. Got it." I nod, get up, move my desk back, grab my paper and Adah's pen, and remember I didn't give her her pen back. Shoot. I look back, see her walking back to her desk, and hear someone say my name.

I look back to the front, see him looking at me, inhale, remember class ended, and I can give Adah her pen tomorrow. I grab my backpack, put the pen and my paper in it, zip it up, and hear him say, "Just one damn minute Jazmine. All I'm asking. Please."

I exhale, look up, see him looking at me, and I say, "Cairo, thank you for helping last week, but you said some really mean things to him, and after that, I don't even wanna give you a minute."

I see him inhale and he says, "That little bitch tell you? Didn't know he'd do that shit." I inhale, get up, put my backpack over my shoulder, turn to use the backdoor, feel a hand on my arm, and say, "Don't Cairo, I will hurt you, and I won't talk to you anymore, not even in class." I feel him let go, take a step, and I hear him say, "Only told his ass the truth. You're gonna see that shit. He just like 'em. That family. And you don't even know the fuck they are. They're the dirtiest shit of Chi-Town. They just cover it up with their fucken money. Why you think I'm even here. You think it was just shit I did. Nah. That family, that bitch's family to, made me do shit." I inhale, turn around, look up at him, and say, "You're wrong. No one can make you do anything. Just because you lived there didn't mean you had to do any of those things," but he cuts me off with, "You lived there? You know what it's like to wake up and not know if you're gonna get fucked up on the way to school just cuz you gotta walk on a street you know they be selling rock? Even know what that shit is? What it's like to have to hang out with fools that don't know shit just so you can have 'nough to survive to make it home? You know any of that shit? Growing up here with your family with money and none of that shit? You know anything or you just like all the girls here that don't know shit 'bout that life?"

I exhale, inhale, turn around, and hear him say, "Jazmine, look, I'm sorry, just." I feel myself shaking, take a step, and hear him say, "Jazmine, come on, please."

I inhale, turn around, see he took a step up to me, look up at him, and I say, "Please what? You just insulted me. You don't know anything about me Cairo. Rock is crack and I know that because my parents are attorneys Cairo and because I'm not dumb. I know what that stuff is even though I'm never gonna touch it. And you don't know how I grew up here. You don't know what it was like for me here, not being completely white, even if my father was an attorney, because he was always going to be black. Always. And no matter how much I loved that part about me, those stupid kids, as soon as I got into school, they would look for me to remind me that I was a half breed, that I looked like an ape, a half monkey, a gorilla, some animals that didn't even live in Africa, just made up stupid things, because they thought it was funny, and some of them because they hated me, hated, actually hated me for not being completely white and then some of those girls, they, they, threw things at me, things they shouldn't have, you know what that does to a girl that's being told every day she's ugly and she's always going to be ugly and she probably only got into that school because she's half black so she's probably not even smart, she's just, stupid and ugly and a, a, she's a half." I stop, seeing my eyes getting blurry, see him inhale, he says, "Jazmine I'm sorry, look," but I cut him off saying, "No Cairo. Yes you had it hard, but I have friends that grew up there to and they grew up okay, not doing those things you did, just doing things to protect themselves, not looking for fights, only fighting when they needed to because that's the kind of guys they are."

I inhale, see my eyes clear, sniffle, see him exhale, remember my Huey, what he said to him, and say, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean get emotional. Just know that when you say anything about Huey I'm going to defend him and after what you told him, I don't need to talk to you anymore."

I turn around and hear him say, "I'd change for you. I would. I stop doing all this shit, fucking up all over the place, barely showing up to school, being with all these girls, I'd stop for you, I would."

I exhale and say, "I don't want any of that Cairo. You need to do what you want to do for yourself, not for me or anyone. Just prove to everyone that black guys, black men, are a lot stronger and more capable than society gives them credit because that's the truth. That's what he taught me."

I hear him inhale, feel him standing behind me, and hear him say, "That punk ass probably told you that I told his ass but I'm gonna tell you cuz it's the truth: He don't deserve you. You actually care about shit. Don't think you're better even if you look like you do. You different than the girls there, the ones here, and you don't want that fucked up family cuz that shit will always follow that nigga's ass, no matter where the fuck he moves. And you deserve better than that Jazmine, more than that shit. And that's all that nigga is, that family, and he doesn't deserve you."

I exhale, look down at the floor, see my vision get really blurry, know I'm crying and I can't stop it, inhale, and hear him say, "Jazmine, come on, please." I exhale, hearing my heart beating in my head, and say, "You told Huey," sniffle, "He didn't deserve me," sniffle, "Because of that family?" I inhale, trying to calm down, and hear him say, "Told that nigga the truth."

I inhale, shaking, hear Ms. Reed call me, and start walking. I hear Cairo say something, blink, feel the tears going down my cheeks, see the door, push it open, and start running. Run Jazmine, run. Faster. Faster.

---

I feel those breasts on my arm, inhale, and say, "Are you sure?" I feel her press herself on me, I exhale, and hear her say, "Can I hug you tonight?"

I inhale and say, "No." I hear her inhale and I say, "You ran into me hard enough today I felt it and wouldn't stop crying on me until I dragged you into that room and then wouldn't let go of me the entire way to the nursing home or after on our way home." I close my eyes, hear the news report, remembering I need to fact check most of that information tomorrow, and say, "And you made me pinky swear, which we're both too old for, to not kill him. And now you decided that you want to sleep over on a weekday because you want to hug me." I open my eyes and exhale, seeing that fucken anchor on that channel, that fucken idiot that said anything to her today and made her feel grief over something that's my burden to carry not hers, that imbecile that's the reason she can't fucken go to the mall on Sundays with her mother and sister alone to spend time with them, that fucken lunatic that's still following her at school, and every fucken person that ever called her anything but what she is, and hear that whiny voice say, "My mom said it was okay but I can go home Huey."

I inhale, turn, grab that shoulder, push it back onto the bed, and cover that body with my own. I look down at those greens and see they're still red. They're still fucken red. I exhale and say, "You say I'm a good person, so act like it, and a good person, simply because they can, ask for things and gets them, and you're sleeping over because that's what I want. And I'm not killing him but if this happens again, nothing will stop me from making sure he understands who you belong to and why the hell he has no say in anything, specifically when it comes to you, because he knows not a damn thing about you, that you're smarter and more aware than any of those idiots, and the most beau." I stop, close my eyes, exhale, know I've said too much, and I look like an idiot. Shit.

I inhale and say, "If you want to go home," feel those lips, push my way through them, taste that tongue, feel those hands in my hair, pulling me down, and feel those hips moving under me. Shit. But she's sleeping over.

I lean down on the bed, put my hands under that shirt, feel the skin on that waist, feel that tongue over my lips, hear myself groan, know I'm hard, and hear that voice say, "I'm a pretty to you?" I inhale, open my eyes, see that thick hair over that pillow, that forehead, those greens that are just the color green, those thirty three freckles that connect, knowing now she also has freckles on that chest, on top of those breasts, breasts that are bigger than my hand, know all of those features belong to her, and know I was raised for better or for worse to be honest and have purpose and say, "No. You're not just pretty." I feel those breasts on my chest with her inhale, see that worried look, and say, "You're beautiful."

I see those eyes open, see that circular green that's not just green, but a dark forest green that's bright at every second of the day, see them coat in water, see that smile, and exhale, knowing again I didn't make her cry because I hurt her feelings. I inhale and continue before I stop, "And because you said I'm a good person and I trust you I can ask for anything, and I want to hug you tonight. Does that make sense in your Jazmine head?"

I see that face come back up, feel that peck, see her go back down, knowing I also want more, but we need to rest and it's a weekday, and she says, "Yes, it does bestie, but I get to ask for something to and you got." I see that tint expand, feel my eyebrow rise, and she says, "To do stuff to me last time and I want to help you tonight okay?"

I feel myself twitch and see her swallow. I inhale, know what I want, and say, "I want to kiss you while you help me, but we both need to go slow." I see that smile and she says, "Because I sat on your lap today and I'm not really sorry about that, defended you from a dumb girl, because you're my boyfriend and I want to take care of you, made you pinky swear to not beat up a jerk because he's only a jerk and there's more important things, like getting you to the shelter on time where you're the best helper ever to Mr. Willis, and then coming home to do homework, cuddle, drink tea that reminds me of how much of a good person you are, and then saying I belong to you and I'm not pretty, I'm." I see that tint and I exhale and say, "Beautiful." I see her nod with that smile and she says, "So because of all that we're both a little too wound up, but we only want each other, and know we're both not ready to change those no's to yes's right now so we should go slow tonight right?"

I exhale, see that smile, and know she doesn't have to know I've been ready to change some of those no's to yes's for some time but I've wanted it to be with her and, possibly because of actions I've always taken to distance myself from that family, to show some semblance of how my brother and I were raised, and because it's her and if it wasn't her I was going to wait a year or two more until girls, women, my age started to use birth control as a lifestyle rather than a choice regardless of the necessity to always used condoms, I also now want it to be what idiot teenagers our age call 'special'. She also doesn't have to know I was never going to ask for it, because asking for that would be selfish of me, selfish for someone like me, connected to that family, but it's possible she's right and I'm not connected to them, at least I do not 'feel' connected to them right now, when I'm touching her, and so, I could deserve it, deserve to ask for it, because I'm not connected to that family, have some characteristics of theirs but that does not connect me to them, and she believes all of that and she believes I'm a good person. And by some definitions, a good person is also honest.

I inhale and say, "Yes but know I have always wanted it to be with you, regardless of how I treated you, and what nicknames you called me, but only if and when you are ready, and I'm willing to wait even until after high school, when we're attending the same college or at the very least attending colleges cities apart and I do not lie because lying is for the weak."

I see those eyes open again, see her move up, taste those lips, feel that tongue push in, groan loud, not caring how late or early it is or where we are, feel the pull down on my shorts, and before I can move them down, I feel the pull on my waist band, and feel that hand grab my base over my underwear. Fuck. I bring my hand over to that stomach, feeling for that waistband on those shorts that are too tight to let her ever leave this room wearing with nothing over them, feel that smooth stomach, the waistband, and feel her pull away. I open my eyes and see those greens looking up at her target. I see that smirk, feel myself twitch, feel that hand leave my base, feeling my exhale with it, and feel those warm hands grab my wrists.

I feel my eyebrows lower and she says, "Huey, you said I could help you and you were only gonna kiss me." I exhale and she says, "So keep your hands where I can see them okay?"

I groan and say, "Jazmine," but she cuts me off with, "My strong, honest, and brave Huey, my boyfriend, who said I belong to him and who I say is mine, listen."

I feel my precum already. Fuck. It's been two days since I came on that hip, with her hands in my hair, while she let me feel the warm soft skin on those breasts again, fuller in my hand than last time, even if I know that's not possible, and then letting me hold that mound again, letting me feel those fluids only after a few seconds, possibly because I had been enjoying those breasts longer than I should have, and now, now, all I want to do is feel those fluids again, feel her squirming under me, but she wants me to listen.

I exhale, see that smile, feel a pull on my wrists, and let her guide them up next to her arms, leaning my elbows on the bed, next to those shoulders.

I inhale, trying to relax and have some self-control, see that smirk, see that face come up, feel that tongue over my lower lip, hear myself say, "Jazzy," feel the pull on the waistband of my underwear, that hand cover my head, feel myself jerk, know I need to relax, and hear myself say, "Fuck, Jazmine," feeling that hand squeeze down from my head to my base. I bite down on that lip, push myself down onto that hand, feeling it holding me again, like I'm not going to break, moving up and down, hearing her say my name when I let her breathe, feeling that soft stomach with the head of my penis, the warmth and softness that she is, knowing I deserve her, because I do, and that family can go to hell, and one day they will, and right now all she wants to do is help me see that I am good person. She doesn't have to know she's also helping me see I deserve her in these moments, these increments, more than I thought possible for me, without having to hear it, by just letting me do this, what we're doing right now, but I still want more. I want this and those hugs and those kisses and whatever she's willing to give me, and not just because she's beautiful but because it's her. I hear myself say her name into that mouth, hearing her say mine, feel another warm hand rubbing my balls over my underwear, and feel that release, with my eyes having gone into that meditative state in the back of my head some time ago, not knowing when it happened and not caring, but knowing I came on that stomach.

I inhale, exhale, open my eyes, breathing in more air, see those greens in that variation, see her look down at my lips, and she says, "Thank you."

I exhale, feel myself twitch, know I'm no longer hard and it will take time for me to get hard again but I can, and I say, "Only in your Jazmine head would you thank me for that."

I see that smirk and she says, "I think you like my Jazmine head and I wanna cuddle while we finish watching the news, before we go to sleep with you hugging me, and you're letting me hug you on Saturday night." I exhale, feel my smirk, and say, "Yes." I see that smile that belongs to me and know she doesn't have to know I wanted all of that and I wanted to hug her tonight because I 'feel' a need to remind both of us she belongs to me and I want to feel that ass over me.

---

I hear him say, "Hu." I look away from those hips, see Caesar looking at me, and he says, "I know he pissed off Jazzy girl but you letting me fuck him up alright." That fucken idiot she slapped yesterday in her fourth period.

I nod, look back at those hips, I exhale, and say, "What he said." I hear my brother say, "Sounds like what twenty-five from Chi-Town said, 'bout those two fucken assholes and reason we were at the courts that night."

I inhale, look over at that table and see him looking at the line, where those hips are, again. Fucken asshole. I close my eyes, crack my neck, open them, and see him still looking in that direction. I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill him. Then, I feel my eyebrow rise and that reflex come back up seeing that girl that was here yesterday talking about her party and asking him if he's going to go. I try not to be judgmental, regardless of how I see the world, only because it could obstruct my view of the truth, but these students, teenagers.

I hear Hiro say, "You'll think everyone, you know, just not our girls, but everyone at this fucken school fucked 'round with at least half the people here?" I see that girl look over here and before I feel that reflex come up, I turn back to those hips, and exhale, feeling the reflex settle down. It's possible my standards for people are too high as well, but I couldn't care less.

I see those eyes look over here, see that smile, feeling that warmth at this distance, and say, "Statistics on the U.S. population show forty percent of high school students have had sex by the time they enter the tenth grade and within that group ten percent have had multiple partners but." I exhale, seeing that smile and watching her tell Lauren that she does feel better today, feel my exhale longer, and say, "Those statistics are conservative because many teenagers lie about the amount of partners they've had even on anonymous surveys, which means it's closer to half of the student population that's had sex by our age and probably close to half of those have had multiple partners, most of the time not having used protection, because most kids have what they call the 'idiot' superman complex where they think they won't get pregnant or contract an STD and." I see her laugh, see her hug Ming, see her put her hand on that stomach where I finished last night, feel my smirk, and say, "That means based on those four, there's a high chance, if we were to place any other six students from this school next to them, only one of those other six, at most, would not have had a sexual partner but more than likely would have had at least one partner, if not several by now."

I hear my brother say, "How you know for sure, 'bout them four?" I feel my eyebrow rise, look over, and see him looking at me with that smirk. I exhale and say, "I do try to give them privacy not lip reading what they talk about Riley but it's fairly easy considering whenever any of them talks about even spending the night, they all get nervous and do not speak for at least several minutes. Most teenagers that have had that kind of experience are able to at least speak about it without getting nervous, some even flaunt their experience, including women."

I see him exhale with that idiot smirk, reminding me he is my brother, looks away, and he says, "I know McHater. Shit, I 'on't really care man. Long as it C-Murph, I couldn't give two shits what she's done."

I feel my eyebrow rise, knowing my brother, and hear Hiro say, "Fuck you Riley. Your ass fucken cares. Shit you're fucken happy she ain't been with anyone." I see my brother look up at Hiro, see him exhale, and he says, "Well, she been with people, just not what I thought man."

I look back up at those four, see her leaning on her sister's shoulders, with her sister's arms around her stomach, and hear my brother say, "But I ain't gonna lie. I like that I'm the first guy." I look back at my brother, see him looking at the table, smirking, and hear Caesar say, "For real man?" I see him look up, see his eyebrow rise with that smirk, look at Caesar, and he says, "Well, she just liked them, nothing serious, I'm her first fucken everything man, and shit it's C-Murph, I'd be with her even if there was some befor' my ass, just need to fuck them all up."

I hear their cackles, shake my head, feeling my smirk, and look back up at that bun, knowing she woke up late, we both did, and lick my lips, waiting for Saturday night.

Then I hear Caesar say, "Yeah, I'm actually alright with her having seen people before my ass. Makes it easier, explaining and shit, 'bout exes and why you were fucked up for a minute and why you need a minute to trust again." I exhale, look back down at him, see him smirking at the table, see him inhale, and he says, "But I ain't gonna lie man. I like that she didn't sleep over that fucker's house ever or let his ass get far with her cuz she's fucken smart and knew not to trust his punk ass, but." I see him exhale and he says, "She trust me."

I look back up, see those four in that line, see them laughing at Lauren teaching them other curse words in Spanish, feel my eyebrow rise, wondering how much that soft afro knows that I haven't asked her about, and hear Hiro say, "Yeah man, can you believe that fucker was her first date man, like fucken ever?" I hear my brother say, "Well C-Murph tol' my ass she was real shy last year, only talked to the team."

I hear an exhale, look back down at Hiro, see him looking at the table, and he says, "Nah man. She just, you know, she didn't." I see him inhale and he says, "She just didn't know what she looked like."

I look back up at those four, feel my smirk seeing those small hands on those hips, see her extend her hands out, possibly measuring, feeling my eyebrow rise, and see her put those hands down. I look back up at the face, see her purse those full lips and look down and away. I feel my exhale and say, "Low self-esteem."

I hear a few exhales, see those lips smile at her sister, kiss her head, and hear my brother say, "Yeah. She 'on't say it cuz she thinks it's a punk ass thing to say, but C-Murph got that shit, thinking she looks." I look back down at my brother, see him looking at the table, and he says, "Different."

I hear Caesar say, "Yeah, Ming covers that shit up with that attitude, but she got her issues, even though it's fucken weird cuz I ain't lying, Chantel was the only girl I was with but I saw a few after her, just hung out you know, and Ming, Ming, she's." I look over at him, see him looking at the table, and he says, "Been the hottest one." I feel my eyebrow rise and he says, "Just don't see how girls that look like that, they, they just can't see it, but it's the other ones, the ones that are just alright, not even cute man, they think they're the shit. But Ming, she just don't see what she looks like, I mean she thinks what Hu said yesterday was that the school thinks she's cute and what Riley said was that she's nice. I don't get how she don't see it, what the fuck the school sees, the fuck I see."

I inhale, look back up at that bun, those eyes, those freckles no one has to know connect, that neck I haven't kissed enough, feel my smirk seeing that green sweater that will match the color of those eyes after five today, those light blue jeans, lick my lips going down those jeans, and see those high top black converse she was wearing that day she gave me that massage. That massage. With those legs over me and those hands on my back and falling asleep to that voice telling me she liked my name. I go back up and know the truth that no one needs to know but me: She looks good in anything she wears, but I like, completely, that she's proper because that's who she is. And she doesn't know she's beautiful, she just knows I believe that, but she doesn't know she is.

I exhale and say, "Yeah." I look back down, see them all turn away from those four, see them look around, and shake my head, hearing them cackle, knowing we just all said that same exact damn word at the same time. They are my idiot friends.

Then I hear Caesar say, "Hu." I look up, see him looking at me, I nod, and say, "This weekend, both of you bring them over at noon. I'm sure we can handle anything that asshole's planning but the girls should be at their optimal defense and attack training. And there's the other problem." I inhale, look over at my brother, see him inhale, and he says, "I knows McHater. Been going through the recordings at Ms. S's office. Nothing. I also called some." I see him exhale, feel my eyebrow rise, and he says, "Connects." I feel my eyebrows lower, see him exhale, and he says, "I ain't selling shit Huey. Damn. Just need them to know that punk ass out there and I 'on't fucken care what I gotta do. That fucker could hurt Ms. S and she, she." I see him look away and he says, "She her momma to now and took her in, even if she could've moved in with us, she could've, but she wanted Ms. S and Jazzy. She wanted a family again and they gave her that shit. And I 'on't fucken care who I gotta call, what I gotta do, we finding that punk ass and making his ass leave. And I'ma call anyone and do what I gotta do so that shit happens."

I exhale and say, "Good." I see him look back at me, see him nod, and hear Caesar say, "My uncle said they still don't got leads." I inhale, look at him, and say, "Not yet. Through my own investigating I also found out his cell phone number was disconnected months ago. More than likely he's using one that's under another person's name, same with wherever he's staying, and how he's paying to stay there. I also tracked his credit card usage and found the last time he used them was in New York in August, while we were in Chicago." I exhale, knowing there's a connection there and I need to find it soon, now, and hear Hiro say, "Probably using someone else's money, credit cards. His job's?" I inhale, shake my head, and say, "It is possible but highly unlikely since Sarah said there's still a pending investigation from threatening the judge proceeding over their divorce last year, and his last job, after being fired by the DA's office, was at a small law firm, and if they're smart, would not help him go undetected for this long." I exhale, knowing it's possible they have been helping him because they are idiots, because attorneys, law firms, can be just as ass backwards as the masses of this world. I inhale and look down at my cell phone. My contacts through the wireless service business haven't found any leads either, including phone calls made from any state but Louisiana to their home phone. Shit.

I hear Caesar say, "Girl, we all kind of tired this week." I inhale, look up, and see her. I close my eyes, look down, open them, see my phone again, and consider going out there myself. I can start on the east side of downtown where the hotels are.

I hear her say, "Look I just." I exhale, thinking about starting Saturday morning, and hear her say, "I just don't get it. Just tell me what I gotta do." I feel my eyebrow rise, look up, see her looking at me, and hear my brother say, "Tell you what?" I see her exhale, see she's about to break, again, and she says, "Why won't he just wanna be with me. I'm pretty, I know I am. You guys know that. But that stupid news report and now the school won't stop talking about them, like it wasn't hard before and now. I just. It's like him, everyone, every stupid person at this school, now they all think they're so good, just cuz of that. But you guys know. You know how much better I still am. Even if you." I see her stop, see her look me up, and I look back down at my phone, trying to figure what time I should leave on Saturday morning. Most hotel offices open at six am and I can break in before then to go through their records to see if he checked into any of them. They would ask him for his identification regardless of who's paying for the room.

I hear her exhale and she says, "Even if you are stuck with girls that you're only with because you've known forever but really, you want something different, Huey." I exhale, thinking it's possible for me to start at four in the morning. Most of those offices close from four to six after checking in people looking for a room for the night.

I hear her say, "Really Huey, please." I inhale, trying to figure how to go about this plan and not have her worry when she somehow finds out about it, knowing how aware she can be, even if I'm trying to not show my tiredness.

I hear that girl say, "Look Huey, just." I exhale and say, "No." I hear her inhale and hear her say, "Why? You know he won't be serious with me, me, or anyone, that stupid bitch Michelle, anyone, because he's waiting for her. But." I inhale, look up at her, see her eyes are still red, but at least she's not at the breaking point anymore, meaning I do not have to deal with watching another girl cry this week, even though the one from yesterday has more significance because she was crying over a burden that is mine, mine to fucken carry, and I am selfish and the girl crying yesterday matters to me quiet literal, significantly more.

I see her eyes water, feel my inhale, and she says, "I've been waiting for you Huey, I have. I know people say things about me but it's not true. I promise. It's just that I know what I want and I get it because I know how to get it. I have confidence, like you Huey, that's why they say I'm mean, but she's." I see her exhale, feel my eyebrow rise, and she says, "She's two-faced and if you stay with her she's going to leave you for him. She will. So be with me and I'll be good to you."

I'm aware my brother and friends are cackling. It started exactly two and a half seconds ago. I also know I want to feel that thigh right now and I get to ask for anything so long as she's willing to give it to me.

I inhale, stand up, see her look up at me, see the lowcut shirt, feel my eyebrow rise, and know I'm a man in many ways already, specifically in the fact that I like how fullness feels in my hand and how much I like finishing on a soft stomach and we're nowhere near Saturday night. I exhale, walk around her, and feel a cold hand grab my arm. I inhale, see that fucken idiot I'm going to kill look at me, and hear her say, "Remember Huey, I said I'd have you and I don't care what people say about me, I get what I want. And I promise, he's only good for now but you're the one I want to take home, you're the one that even my parents would like because you're smart, you're hot, and you're at my level. They wouldn't even care that you don't have that much money. They wouldn't."

And then I see that bun to my left. Shit. I twist my wrists out, feel her let go, turn towards that bun, take those two steps up, bend down to grab those hips, and feel her trying to climb over me, hearing that voice say, "I'm going to drag you out you troll! Don't touch him!," and feel my inhale with her squirming in my hands trying to get to that girl over my shoulder.

I hear that girl say, "I'll touch him when I want and you'll get yours! All of you! Specially you! And I don't care what your ugly ass mom with her fat ass does!" I feel her jump out of my arms, and grab those thighs over my shoulder, hearing the slap behind me. Shit.

I hear Jazmine's sister say, "Next time my ride-or-die ain't gonna stop me from fucking you up you ugly ass bitch! No one talks 'bout our momma! No one! Specially no fucken skinny ass troll that's fucken jealous cuz she ain't got nothing that anybody be wanting to touch you ugly skinny…" I exhale, stand up, look over, see my brother with Cindy over his shoulder, hearing her still continue cursing, feel the thighs I'm holding trying to still climb out, and hear Caesar say, "Take 'em man. Bitch ass counselor isn't here yet. Go." I see my brother nod and I turn holding that thigh and start running to the emergency door to the right, knowing too many saw that. Fuck.

---

I hear the door handle, look over, see the door open, and see him walk in. I exhale, feel my eyebrow rise seeing a security guard walk in after him, and I start giggling.

I see him look over at me, smile, and feel that hand touch my thigh, feeling my cheeks get warm.

I see him squint his eyes at me, turn back to Mr. Delay, walk up to him, see him give him a note, and I look down and start putting my notebook and color pens in my backpack.

I hear Mr. Delay say, "Jazmine, can you," I stand up, see him looking at me with a raised eyebrow, put my backpack over my shoulder, walk up to him, smile, and say, "Yes Mr. Delay. They're here for me. I'll get the notes from Huey and you can give him copies of any worksheets you give us and I'll make sure to do them tonight and bring them tomorrow."

I see him smile, shake his head with that smile, and he says, "Why is one of my best students being escorted to the principal's office by not only one counselor but a security guard?"

I open my mouth to tell him Mr. Leon's probably following school rules and honestly I'm okay with a security guard going with us because I might say something really dumb to Mr. Leon if I'm alone with him and get even more in trouble, and hear Mr. Leon say, "She's a menace and needs to be treated," and I hear a chair move.

I look back, see him standing, and say, "Huey, no. Please let me take care of this. It was my fault okay?" I see him exhale and hear Mr. Leon say, "Like the menace she is." I see him move around his desk, feel my eyes get big, and say, "Bestie, trust me." I see him stop, feel my exhale, smile at him, and I say, "And I need today's notes okay?"

I see him exhale, see those cute pursed lips, and hear Mr. Delay say, "I'll let you out early Huey, please sit down." I look back at Mr. Delay, see him walking back to the board, and hear Mr. Leon say, "You cannot let students leave early from," and hear Mr. Delay cut him off with, "Ron you have no say in my classroom, your power begins outside of that door, and." I feel my smirk, see him writing on the chalkboard, and he says, "If you're taking one of my best students who actually participates and has an A in this class and she's not back by tomorrow, I will be asking the front office why that is and how you were involved. Now leave, because you've taken up too much of my class time." Okay, Mr. Delay's awesome. He's always funny and I like when he rolls his eyes at how bad the textbooks we use are, but I didn't know he was this awesome.

I hear an exhale and hear Mr. Leon say, "Let's go Ms. Dubois." I feel a hand grab my arm, look back at Mr. Leon, hear steps behind me, twist my wrists out like my bestie showed me, feel him let go, and I say, "Don't touch me." I see his eyes open, see them squint, feel my bestie's heat on my back, and hear someone say, "Sir, you're not allowed to touch a student, that is why I am here."

I hear an exhale and hear Mr. Delay's voice say, "I hope you don't feel like you can overstep your grounds with my student Ron, specifically because we all know your discomfort with the minority group in this school."

I see Mr. Leon exhale, see him getting red, and hear someone say, "Ms. Dubois, please follow me." I look over, see the security guard looking at me and see that he kind of looks like Frank with how tall he is, his nice small afro, those light brown eyes, and that warm smile. I think he's a new security guard. I smile, look at his tag, wonder if he's mix like me, look up at him, and say, "Yes, Mr. Ramirez."

I look back, kiss that chin, see him exhale that annoyed cute exhale, smile, and say, "Take good notes." I see him roll his eyes and hope I can remember to kiss him later so I can keep annoying him more.

I turn back to the security guard, smile, walk up to him, see him open the door for me, hear steps behind, knowing they're Mr. Leon's and hope I don't slap another person this week.

---

I lay my head on that shoulder, close my eyes, smell that coconut lotion, and say, "Did they text sis?" I hear her exhale and hear her say, "Yeah. Tol' em' your phone's dead but we a'ight. And tol' 'em to not come cuz I don't want them getting in trouble with that fucker Leon roaming looking for 'em to bring 'em in but we'll text 'em after."

I smile, knowing she thinks about others way more than people think, open my eyes looking at the clock in the conference room, turn to her, kiss that head, hear her giggle, and I say, "What's that?" I see her lean into me, I look down at her phone, and see a video of Doberman puppies sleeping on tiny hammocks, rocking back and fourth. Oh my god. I say, "I want one sissy!" I hear her giggle and hear her say, "Me to boo. After Riles sent it to me I tol' him I wants five."

I start laughing and hear her say, "Gonna name the first one Riles number one, next one Riles number two, and then Riles number three, and you knows." I laugh, exhale, put my head back on that shoulder, and hear her say in that tiny voice, "Haven't tol' his ass but, if we, you know, ever got to name kids and shit, I wanna name the first one Riley, and if it's a girl, Rosa Riley, since he tol' me that's his momma's name." I exhale, smile, and say, "I wanna name the first one Huey, and if it's a girl, Sarah Rose."

I hear her exhale and hear her say, "I love you sissy and I'll fuck up anyone for you and our momma." I turn, kiss that shoulder, put my head back on it, and say, "Same sis and remember always, you're my every everything."

I hear the door open, exhale, see the principal walk in first, then my mom, followed by Mrs. McNeil, then Ms. Lola, and finally Ashley, holding an ice pack to her cheek, again. Don't smile Jazmine. You're in trouble. Both your sister and you are in trouble. And I get that feeling of déjà vu again.

Then I feel her shoulders shaking and can't help it and start giggling. I hear the principal say, "Girls, this is no laughing matter." I exhale, sit up straight, and say, "Yes ma'am," look over at my sister and smile, knowing we said at that same time.

I feel a warm hand that I know because I've known that hand my whole life, feel it on my shoulder, and hear my mom say, "Baby can you move so I can sit next to both of you?" I turn, kiss that hand, and say, "Yes mom."

I move over, see my mom sit down, and exhale, knowing she's missing work again because of this dumb high school stuff my sister and me are going through.

I hear the principal say, "Okay, now, this is the second time this year we are in here. This time it involves two of my star students, one who happens to be doing really well on a school sports team, and I really do not want to punish anyone here but." I look up at the principal, see her looking down at the table, see her shake her head, and says, "There is physical evidence that an altercation took place and one of my students who is accusing the other two of attacking her says she was sitting at her table during lunch and the other two students went to her table and without any provocation attacked her." I exhale, hear my sister exhale, and feel my mom grab my hand. I look over at my sister, see my mom grabbing her hand, and see her pursed lips.

I hear the principal say, "And then of course there's the problem that there was no staff at the scene to determine how it occurred, other than of course several students' version of the altercation." I see my sister turn to the principal and I turn to look at her to. I see her look up, exhale, see her look over at Ashley, and she says, "Who have all said what we were told a few minutes ago was not how the event occurred, but in reality it was the other way around and the student who was attacked actually was at the table where the other two students normally have lunch, yelled things I will not be repeating, and one of the students got angry and attacked her."

I feel my smile, knowing at least some kids in this school said the truth, hear something fall on the table, look over at Ashley, see the icepack on the table, look up at her, see that purple mark, know from my training that is going to bruise, and see the nail marks on that bruise. I want to feel bad but I don't, not after what she said about my mom.

I see her exhale and she says, "They're all lying." I roll my eyes, hear my sister's exhale, and hear Ms. Lola's warm voice say, "Ashley, we talked about lying and it's highly unlikely all separate twenty-five students that we randomly asked were all lying."

I hear an inhale and hear Mrs. McNeil say, "Well they were lying and my daughter was attacked by these two, these two." I look over at Mrs. McNeil, see her squint her eyes at us, open her mouth, and hear my mom say, "I would be careful with the terminology you use when addressing my daughters." I feel my smirk, see Mrs. McNeil raise her chin, see her eyebrow rise, and she says, "They look to be the same age but do not look similar. How are they both yours?"

I inhale, feel that squeeze on my hand, and hear my sister say, "That ain't your business lady."

I see her eyes open, I snicker, and see her look over at me. I hear the principal say, "Now that is a family affair and that is not to be discussed here Mrs. McNeil, we are here to discuss what," and I hear the door open.

I look over, see someone did open the door, and see the student that was at the front desk pop his head in. I see him look over at my mom, see him blush, and I giggle. I hear the principal say, "Yes Henry? Is it important because we are not to be interrupted?"

I see him swallow, see him look at the principal with that blush, and he says, "Yes Principal Harris, you have a really important phone call." I feel my eyebrow rise, look back at the principal, and she says, "Can it wait until we're done?" I hear him say, "Well, it's a really important person on the phone Principal Harris."

I see her exhale, see her look over at Ms. Lola across the table, and hear Ms. Lola say, "Please go take the call principal and I'll stay in here." I see her exhale, smile, and she says, "Thank you Ms. Lola." I see her stand and then hear her walk out of the room and close the door behind her.

I exhale, look over at my mom, and say, "Sorry mama," and stop, seeing my sister smile at me. How do we do that all the time, talk at the same time, with the same words? I laugh, hearing my mom and Ms. Lola laughing, and then hear Mrs. McNeil's voice say, "You're Cynthia's daughter."

I inhale, look over at Mrs. McNeil, and hear my mom say, "She's mine. She belongs to me and you will address her as so."

I see her squint her eyes, raise her chin, and she says, "I knew her from the country club until they," and hear my mom cut her off with, "Stop." I see her inhale, look at my mom, and kind of know now where Ashley gets those eyes, and hear my mom say, "You will not speak to her as if you know her as I do not plan on speaking to your daughter. She is mine, she belongs to me, legally and more importantly, in the way it matters because she is mine. And I do not care how you knew those people, but believe me, and I do not give a second chance when it comes to my daughters as they are far more forgiving than I am, considering how your daughter continues to harass them and their friends, I would be careful how you speak to either one of them right now or ever."

I feel like crying I'm so happy. I see Mrs. McNeil exhale and she says, "Fine, but know I get tired of this. I do not want to be here. I have far more important things to attend to than this childish behavior so just keep them away from her."

I hear my sister say, "Keep that hoe 'way from our asses. She the one that be coming to our table, looking for us, throwing herself at ma bro every time when she supposed to be seeing that other dick. Shits nasty to. I means I 'on't even care what your ass does but least be using protection with that dick, heard he a hoe to."

I see Mrs. McNeil's mouth open, blink, and I start laughing. I hear her say, "Why do you speak in a such a way? Didn't you learn the proper way for a young lady of your class to speak in public?" I look at her, feel my eyebrow rise, and hear my mom say, "I'm sorry do you mean the working class because that's why I am? Even as a licensed attorney, I must work in order to support my family and so, how would you expect for my daughter to speak?"

I feel my smirk, squeeze my mom's hand, see Mrs. McNeil exhale, squinting her eyes at my mom, and hear Ashley say, "It's cuz she thinks she's black." Seriously?

I exhale and hear Ms. Lola's voice say, "And how do black people speak Ashley?" I feel my eyebrow rise, feel my smirk, and see Ashley exhale, looking away.

Then I hear Mrs. McNeil's voice say, "Ashley you're being raised to speak up, so speak up and answer that question."

I feel my eyebrow rise, kind of feel bad for Ashley for a tiny second, see her look over at Mrs. McNeil, squint her eyes at her, and exhale feeling my mom's warm hand squeezing my hand. Then I see Ashley raise her chin looking at her Mrs. McNeil and she says, "Ghetto."

Wow. Okay. I exhale and hear Ms. Lola's voice say, "Thank you for answering that Ashley."

I see Ashley exhale, look away, see her smirk, and she says, "Well, it's true."

Wow. I hear my mom's exhale and then hear my sister say, "Yeah. You's right hoe. I be hearing the ghetto talk all day long cuz ma man's black, ma pop's, and my big bro, you knows, Huey."

I feel my smirk and my cheeks getting warm, look over at Ashley, see her eyes get big, and hear Mrs. McNeil say, "Ashley Bertha McNeil!" I look over at my sister, see her eyes open, see her month, 'Bertha?' and I start laughing. Oh Black Jesus.

I hear Ashley say, "But he's not a normal black guy mom! And it's not just him! It's him and his brother, Riley, and his friends! All the girls want them! And they're all hot! And they're actually not stupid and they're like the only good guys in the school! And they're hot! And he's hot! And I want him! I want Huey!"

I exhale and hear Mrs. McNeil say, "You think your father would be okay with you dating some some!"

I hear my sister say, "Don't even trip hoe's momma. Ain't like she gonna have 'em. They 'on't want her ass. And hoe better not even say anything 'bout my man. I know he's hot and I will beat you for him."

I feel my smirk and see Mrs. McNeil look over at my mom, see her blink with her mouth open, and she says, "And you let them date them!"

I inhale and hear my mom say, "Yes I do. And I agree with your daughter on one thing only and that is that they are really great, intelligent boys and I'm quite sure they have numerous girls that like them but apparently they want to date my daughters because they are also intelligent and beautiful along with their two friends who are also dating their friends. And why wouldn't I want my daughters seeing such wonderful boys, one of which will probably be significantly successful in the legal field or any other field he chooses to go into and the other who I know has more talent in one finger than most artists at his age, and further more why would I stop my daughters from dating someone that's black when my first husband is black and my boyfriend is not only the best looking man I have ever seen and happens to also be black but is the most intelligent man I have come across in and out of my field? So why would I deprive them of seeing those two boys, who are talented black young men, and I also happen to adore?"

I hear an inhale and hear Mrs. McNeil say, "How low you've gone child." I inhale and say, "Do not talk to my sister like that Mrs. McNeil."

I see Mrs. McNeil look at me, see her open her mouth, and then I hear Ashley say, "He's mine and I'm gonna have him! I can have anyone at this school! I'm prettiest girl here, have way more money than you'll ever have, and he's the only guy that's at my level! The only one!"

I inhale, look at Ashley, know I'm going to slap her really, really soon, feel my mom squeeze my hand, and hear my sister say, "Then why you messing 'round with that other dick? Your hoe ass knows none of the guys, that includes ma big bro, ever gonna touch your ass after you messed 'round with that dick right? I mean that dick gotta have some'ing, herpes or some shit, after all 'em girls the school knows he messed 'round with since he got here."

I see Ashley inhale, see her chin rise, and hear my mom say, "Baby, do you mean one of those two boys from Chicago?" I snicker, hear my sister laughing, see Ashley getting red, probably angry, and hear Mrs. McNeil say, "You're sleeping with a, a." I hear my sister say, "Called a black guy ma'am."

I start laughing and hear Ashley say, "And what! I don't care! It's only for high school anyways. After I'll be with anyone you want me to be with. I just wanna have fun right now and do whatever I want." I stop laughing, exhale, feeling sorry for her no matter what she's done or said, and hear Mrs. McNeil say, "That's fine, just don't get pregnant. I don't care what you do, but don't mess it up by getting pregnant and then having people find out about some abortion we'll have to get you. I did what I did in high school but made sure to not get pregnant, so don't mess up Ashley, and make sure you line up with the right family soon. That's why you're at this school, remember that."

I feel my eyebrow rise, look over at my mom and sister, see them both exhale looking at me, smile at how pretty they both are, see them smile at me, and feel my heart swell, knowing I'm really happy.

Then hear Ashley say, "I'm trying mom but he didn't want to even talk to me or wanna introduce me to his grandson. I tried okay."

I feel my eyes get big, remembering Thanksgiving and giving out that food at the shelter, and then he showed up. I see their pretty faces getting that confused look and I say, "The Wunclers?" I hear Mrs. McNeil inhale and hear her, "That's the only family at our level."

I see my sister's eyebrow rise, see her smirk, see her start laughing, and I can't help and start laughing to. I hear my mom laughing and hear Mrs. McNeil say, "What's so funny about that? It's not like you're ever going to be in the same room as that family so how is that even funny?"

I look at Ashley, see her look away, and feel my eyebrow rise. Okay. I guess she didn't tell her mom everything that happened at shelter. Good. I kind of don't want someone like her mom knowing we know the Wunclers.

Then I hear the door open and exhale, watching the principal walk in in her dark gray jacket and long skirt. I want to leave to go back to class. Then I hear the bell ring. Darn it. I hear my sister exhale and hear her say, "Man, art's next with Riles." I exhale, put my head on my mom's shoulder and say, "Yeah, Chemistry with Lena is next for me and I missed history with Huey."

I see the principal sit down, see her exhale, see her smile at us, and she says, "You're all free to go."

I feel my forehead scrunch and I say, "Principal Harris?" I see her smile again and she says, "I was just on the phone with Mr. Wuncler and," and hear Mrs. McNeil cut her off with, "Is he coming?" I see the principal look over at Mrs. McNeil and she says, "No. But he did say the incident that occurred today was insignificant considering their good attendance and record and the outstanding contributions both of Ms. Dubois's daughters have given to the school and so, if anyone in this room wants to pursue this incident any further, they will have to speak to the Wunclers' legal representation."

I feel my mouth open, look over at my sister, see her smirking at me, and feel my smile. We still need to pay them for the guns and equipment they overnighted to Chicago. I see that smile, the one that belongs to our mom and me, the 'beans would go to war' one, and hear Mrs. McNeil say, "And how do you know the Wunclers if you have no money or class?"

I exhale and hear my mom say, "As my daughter said earlier, that is none of your business, but." I feel my smirk, seeing my sister smirking at me, look over at Mrs. McNeil, see her looking at my mom with that bleach blonde hair and blue eyes, know it's not just how she looks but my mom is so much more beautiful because she's warm and funny and just the best mom ever, and I hear my mom say, "It is possible some people, even ones that have some money, care about other things as well, like being respectful, honest, and having strong and magnificent spirits like my daughters have, more so than they care about having more money or class and possibly surrounding themselves with people that have the right kind of skin color."

I feel my smile and see Ashley look at me. I see her squint her eyes at me and hear Mrs. McNeil say, "Ashley we're leaving." I see Ashley inhale and she says, "This isn't," but I cut her off with, "It is. It's over. You come near my friends, my family, my Huey, and I will slap you and I will drag you out of the school. And I know my sister and friends will do that if you get close to their boyfriends. So, stay, away, Ashley. Don't come near us. We don't care if you're with that jerk. I don't care if you're with that jerk. And I just want to keep him and you away from Huey so he can keep focusing on school because he's gonna be a big attorney one day like my mom, helping innocent people stay out of jail, and he can't do that if you're always bothering him. And my little sister's right, don't you talk about his brother or their friends. They're not just what you said, they're really good guys and are really happy with their girlfriends and those girlfriends, my sister who's the strongest and prettiest girl I know, will defend their boyfriends, so don't even try it because they will fight you and I will fight you, so don't come looking."

I see her open her mouth and hear Mrs. McNeil say, "Those boys sound like they're worth it." I feel my eyes open, look over at her, see her inhale, see her look at Ashley, and she says, "You know the rules. And you know there are limitations to how much we can allow, specifically when it comes to going against the likes of the Wunclers."

I see Ashley look at Mrs. McNeil, see her eyes open, and she says, "You cannot be serious! You're just gonna let them do whatever they want! And I'm gonna talk to his grandson! You'll see! But you can't let them," and hear Mrs. McNeil cut her off with, "Shut up Ashley! It's already embarrassing enough that I have to deal with coming here for these things, these immature acts of yours, and finding out about the things you're doing here that could get to the Wunclers! What will they think of you if they find out! How will they think of you!"

I see Ashley inhale and she says, "I don't care! I want what I want! I'll ask daddy and he'll get it for me!" I hear Mrs. McNeil says, "Ashley! Be an adult about this!" I see Ashley exhale, see her look at me, and she says, "You'll all regret it." I feel my eyebrows lower, see her get up, and walk out of the room, followed by a screaming Mrs. McNeal.

I look over at my mom and sister, see them looking at me, see them smile, and hear Ms. Lola say, "Well now, I think it's time for these two loves to go to their fourth period that's about to start while we adults have some coffee before we all head back to our respective employment."

I look over at Ms. Lola, smile, and hear the principal say, "That sounds like a splendid idea Ms. Lola. I'll make the coffee. And you two have two other students of mine out there waiting so I suggest you hurry."

I look over at my sister, see her looking at me, and she says, "Let's go sis." I look up at mom, give her a kiss on her cheek, stand up, see my sister hug my mom, see her saying something to her in her ear, and feel my heart get so much bigger. I'm so happy. I whisper, "I'll be outside sissy."

I grab my backpack, turn around, smile at Ms. Lola, and walk around her, wanting to see that tall smart guy that's going to be an attorney one day.

---

I walk out and feel my eyebrow rise, hearing Mrs. McNeil's voice say, "And what law school are you planning on attending?" No.

I walk out into the open room where the front desk is and see Mrs. McNeil standing next to Ashley in front of Huey and Riley.

I see those eyes look over at me, see that deep burgundy, feel my cheeks getting warm, and hear him say, "Excuse me." I see him walk around them, hear Ashley say, "Huey, wait," feel my smile seeing him taking those steps towards me, see him get to me, crane my neck to look up at that chin, see him look down at me, see him exhale, and he says, "What took you so long?"

I feel my smile get bigger, hear Mrs. McNeil ask Riley if he knows how hard it is to get picked for a basketball team even if he's good, and I hear him say, "Jazzy." I look away from those eyes, see Riley looking at me, and he says, "C-Murph?" I smile and say, "She's with my mom, she's coming." I see him exhale, see him turn to Mrs. McNeil, and he says, "Don't matter. I'll make it. And you ain't gotta tell me how hard it is. Less than five percent get drafted from college and that only happens if you go to a college that got a good team, least a known team. Not hard, close to impossible, but I'll make it. We both will."

I smile, feel that hand on my stomach, inhale, feeling my cheeks getting warm, and hear Mrs. McNeil say, "You mean you and Cynthia's daughter?" I inhale, move up, and feel that hand on my stomach holding me.

I see Riley exhale and he says, "Cindy ain't related to that hoe." I hear Mrs. McNeil inhale and hear her say, "How do you refer to an adult, a woman, in that way?" I see him smirk that Riley Freeman smirk, know I'm about to laugh, and he says, "Cuz she is. I know what a hoe is. Seen 'nough, at ma last school and this school, and a hoe." I see him stop, see him look at Ashley, and he says, "Is a female that has sex with anyone just cuz, she 'on't even gotta like his ass, she just does, thinking that makes other guys want her, but it don't. Guys, and I'ma say this coming from a black guy, we don't give a shit what females do only if they do it cuz they wanna do it, cuz it's what they wanna do, not to make other guys want 'em, even if that's having sex with fucking idiots from Chi-Town I will beat whenever he looks at ma girl." I feel my eyebrow rise. Riley cannot be saying she slept with Dewey, right?

I hear Ashley inhale, see Riley's eyes lower, and he says, "Yeah. I 'on't talk shit, but I knows 'nough. Don't know how many know, if that other punk ass knows, but hey, I wouldn't even worry 'bout that shit, cuz I heard they like sharing hoes." I feel my mouth open, feel that warm hand going over my stomach, feel my cheeks getting warmer, hear Mrs. McNeil inhale, see Riley look at her, and he says, "So I'ma say this how white people don't think we can talk, saying the whole word like this." I see him clear his throat, feel a hand on my shoulder that belongs to my little sister, and he says, "Both our asses will make it to the NBA and I will do my art on the side, even if it don't bring any money, because it ain't about that, it's about what it means to me. And." I see him look back down at Ashley, see him inhale, and he says, "Keep going 'round the block cuz it won't change shit when it comes to me, ma brother, and ma friends. None of us talks 'bout your ass cuz we got girls, girls that be doing shit with themselves, winning cuz they win, helping people cuz that's what they do, and I 'on't give a shit what you'll family or this school thinks 'bout ma ass, cuz I'm just another black guy that plays ball, I got family that knows I'ma make it and a girl that gonna make it bigger than you'll even think, and I 'on't want your ass either."

I feel my smile, hear Mrs. McNeil inhale, and hear her say, "Are you saying my daughter isn't good enough for people like you?" I exhale, see Riley look at her with his raised eyebrow, and hear my mom's voice say, "Riley isn't the kind of person to say he's better than anyone but I suggest you stop disgracing yourself Mrs. McNeil by speaking to my daughter's boyfriend, who's close enough to consider a son, in that way."

I see Riley look over here, see him smirk, and hear Mrs. McNeil say, "Let's go Ashley." I hear that shriek say, "But mom! I wanna stay and Huey," I exhale and I say, "And I will drag you out." I see her turn to me, see her raise her chin, see her look down at my stomach, and I put my hand over his hand. Mine. I see her eyes open, see her take a step up to me, and I hear Mrs. McNeil say, "No allowance Ashley!" I see her stop, see her eyes open, see her look back at Mrs. McNeil and she says, "But mom!"

I hear Mrs. McNeil say, "Car now or nothing!" I see Ashley look away, see her exhale, see her turn, and walk out of the room. I exhale and see Mrs. McNeil look back at Riley and see him look back at her with that raised eyebrow.

I hear her exhale and after a few seconds she turns to us and I see her look up at Huey's back. I see her eyes squint and she says, "I have one daughter. But I wanted," I see her stop, see her exhale, and she says, "Someone that would be accomplished, driven, potent, and able to carry my husband's family's name and I did not get that." I feel my eyes open, see her look over at my mom, see her exhale, squint her eyes, and she says, "I also wanted more, but I was told it would only be feasible to remain at a certain class level if I had only one child." I exhale. Wow. That's so.

I see her look down and away, see her exhale, and she says, "Really, even daughters that had those qualities would have been sufficient, but instead I have to deal with a child that's more like her father than I would've wanted."

I exhale, trying to figure out if I feel bad for her, but it doesn't matter, she just seems so sad.

Then I hear my sister's voice say, "Don't be lying. She just like you. We all know 'bout Leon."

I feel my eyes open, see Mrs. McNeil look over at my sister, and she says, "How do you," and hear my sister cut her off with, "Cuz everyone knows everyone's business here lady. What you think? That shit ain't gonna go 'round after your ass was caught? Shit, everyone knows 'bout that shit and everyone knows they ever say that hoe's name in my face, like your ass did in there, they don't wake up till the next day, so watch your mouth 'bout who ma momma and ma only sister are, and I'ma tell you right now, I on't like your hoe ass daughter, she's a stupid." I hear her inhale, know my mom's probably holding her hand, I exhale and finish for her, "She's a dumb girl but." I see Mrs. McNeil look over at me, see her raise her chin, and I say, "That doesn't mean we won't fight her and next time our boyfriends' aren't going to stop us from getting to her and making sure she knows we'll defend ourselves every, single, time, and we don't need money or people with money for that because that's what our mom taught us."

I see Mrs. McNeil inhale, see her look back at my sister, and see her exhale. I see her eyes fall on Huey, see her inhale, see her turn back at Riley, and see her exhale again, almost like she's judging us. But why? Then I see her look back at me, see her purse her lips, see her exhale, and she says, "Accomplished, driven, potent." I feel my eyes open, see her look at my mom, and she says, "I cannot control her and so I have no say in how things go from here. I can only take so much away, materially, before she runs to him and he gives her everything back. And." I see her close her eyes, open them, and she says, "I have far more important things, events, galas, clubs, that need my attention and this has taken half of my day already." I feel my eyebrow rise and hear my mom say, "Maybe, if you spent more time with your daughter, she wouldn't have these problems."

I see her exhale and she says, "Do you know what it's like to be part of the social class I am in? The ways in which you're involved, the time you must give to each event, and the energy it takes to deal with a misbehaved child when your husband does nothing to help but give her everything she wants to shut her up? Do you know what that is like?"

I exhale, not liking her talking to my mom like that, and hear my mom say, "No I do not and I sympathize with you." I see Mrs. McNeil's eyes open, I look over at my mom, see hear exhale, and she says, "But I know what it's like to have a husband that is constantly being subjugated to discrimination at work, regardless of how many years or education, licenses, and experience he has, and then having him come home in a manner I choose to not remember and look at you like you're part of the problem because you look too much like those people at work, the ones that make him feel like he's not worth the more difficult, noteworthy cases, and then having him look at my beautiful daughter and her wonderful friend, that's become as close to me as the second daughter I wanted to have, like they are part of the problem because they also look like those people at work. And." I see mom exhale, know my eyes are getting watery, and she says, "Although I do not believe in having relationships outside of the sanctity of marriage, I do understand the want, the hope, to feel that you're not just the person they come home to, the person they signed a contract with, but to feel like there is some reason they married you, outside of convenience or infatuation, that were was more than just some attraction, but an actual hope to be with them your entire life, have a life with them, help them with cases late at night because you see ways, evidence, a different perspective on interpreting the law that he might not, and making you coffee in the morning not only because he knows you're tired, but because he knows the way you like your coffee made, and then having him stop doing all of those things, all of them, because you look like them, you talk like them, you are those people at work, you are the reason he's miserable, and so you should also be miserable, as long as you do what you're supposed to do and make sure she, they, are cloth, fed, safe, and happy."

I inhale, feel that hand going up and down my stomach, see my mom look at me and my sister, see her smile that beautiful smile only she has, see her look back at Mrs. McNeil, and she says, "I will not assume that your life has been easy based on having met you twice and I understand you have your reasons to live as you do but regardless of what you do with your life understand, and I hope you don't take this as me being presumptuous or condescending, that sons follow in their fathers' footsteps, very closely, unless they have a strong mother to anchor them, and daughters follow their mothers even more than that. They watch us, listen, and make their choices based on what we show them. And so I made my choices in part for myself, but largely because I wanted to keep my daughters safe, and I wanted to show them that they should never stay in such a loveless relationship, being told things a woman, a person, should never be told, being treated like someone they not only dislike, but have learned to hate, dreaming about being with a man that is proud of being who he is, regardless of the discrimination he is subjected to every day by people that think he shouldn't be running such a successful small business in the more affluent side of the city, helping him learn the nuances of running a small business, bringing you coffee to work when he knows you woke up late and didn't have time to make coffee at home, knowing how you like it, giving you a kiss afterwards, even though you know he doesn't like the taste of coffee, but he likes you, he likes you, and having him look at you, treat you, welcome you into his life, like you are the light he was waiting for to do all these things, to make the jump, literally from one state to the next, and then knowing, knowing, this will not end with him, no matter how long you know him, how long you two are together, because this is the kind of man he is, strong, capable, driven, with an unbreakable spirit that should've been broken years ago by his own heartbreaks, and still he's standing there, saying he's wanting to try again, for you, because you are the light he was waiting for, the sun to those tired old eyes."

I inhale, feel the tears on my face, feel my sister shaking, knowing we both want to be just as strong as she is one day, feel someone walk behind me, look over at my sister, and see that mocha colored hand with those scars on my sister's shoulder.

Then, I hear someone else sniffle, look over, and feel my eyes get big and clear up, seeing Mrs. McNeil's eyes are watery. I see her look away, see her exhale, and she says, "I understand and you are correct, you do not know how difficult my life has been, the choices I've made, the ones I must continue to make to uphold how I was raised, what I was told that is important, and how I've contributed in raising my daughter that way, somethings I cannot reverse, and really at this point I have cleaned my hands from that problem and it's up to her father, who I hardly speak to as it is."

I see her inhale, see a tear go down her cheek, blink, feeling more tears on my face, and she says, "I have made my bed and so has he and so we must lay in it together, regardless of what each one of us does to deal with our marriage separately." I exhale, feel that thumb on my skin on my stomach, and know I want to kiss him.

I see Mrs. McNeil look up at my mom, see her exhale with those watery eyes and a few tears on her face now, and she says, "Thank you for your advice but some of us are not as free as others to choose how our life will be." I see her look at my sister and she says, "I apologize for mentioning people you are not associated with." I feel my sister exhale, squeeze her shoulder, see Mrs. McNeil look at me, and she says, "And to you I will warn you that my daughter is like her father in many ways, including on how she fixates on things, people, objects she wants and will be unrelenting in her pursuit of them. And after speaking to both of you." I see her look up at Huey's back and then at Riley, and she says, "And, although we are no longer close, I do know my daughter better than she knows herself, and I saw how she looked at both of you boys." I see her exhale, looking at Riley, and she says, "And if she can't have one, she will have the other, that is the look she had, because you both look similar to each other, I will go as far as to say you're both quiet attractive regardless of what you are, and have qualities she likes in boys."

I exhale, see her look at me, see her purse her lips, raise her chin, and she says, "I will not speak badly about my daughter other than in speaking the truth, only because it would not benefit us for me to do so, but I will say she might finally learn the lesson that she cannot have everything her immature self wants, at least this time, based solely on her opponents."

I feel my eyes blink, clear up, and squeeze that hand playing with my stomach. I see Mrs. McNeil inhale, see her look away, and see her grab a tissue from the tissue box next to the board where they put announcements. I see her turn away and hear her say, "Have a good day."

I see her walking down the hallway, feel that thumb on my stomach, feel my smile, and hear my mom say, "And I just wanted to come out here to see my two good looking boys."

I start laughing, take a step up, feel my sister's hand leave my shoulder, put my head on that strong chest that smells like that Irish Spring soap, and hear my mom and sister laugh. Then I feel my sister's shoulder come into me, smell that coconut lotion I'm always going to love, that little bit of Hugo Boss Riley started using, and feel my mom's hands on my back.

I feel Huey exhale and feel him relax, probably because there's no one in the office right now, I think because that student Henry is in the back office helping Ms. Lola, so it's only us and it's okay if my mom's hugging us like this even if we're in school, and maybe, a little, because after being around Ashley and her mom and listening to a family that's just so, so, sad, and makes me sad, it feels extra warm and nice to have us.

---

I feel my smile and say, "I want to kiss you but we're already a little late." I feel him let go of my hand, feel my smirk, feel him grab my shoulder, turn me, and feel those soft lips kiss me. I close my eyes, put my hand in that hair, pull him down, and taste that tongue and those jalapenos. I really, really like jalapenos on that tongue, so much I hear myself moan his name.

Then I hear, "Again." I feel him pulling away, remember how much I like that tongue, open my eyes, look up at those eyes, and say, "You're giving us one minute Mr. Leon because after today, my mom having to come here, and my sister almost getting in trouble, all because of a dumb girl that I know you're helping, I will activate my Facebook account and post everything that happened today so people, parents, know what you do here. Now go away and give us one minute before you come back."

I hear him inhale, see those eyes look down at my lips, feel my smile, hear him say, "Ms. Dubois, you will not," and I cut him off with, "Yes I will. And I promise you Mr. Leon if you go after my sister and her boyfriend right now it'll be worse for you because she's also mad about our mom having to miss work because of that dumb girl." I hear him inhale and he says, "You will not," I lick my lips looking at those soft lips, and say, "The minute starts when you walk away Mr. Leon and don't make me mad because my mom was just here and reminded me how much I want to be like her one day."

I hear him inhale, hear him exhale, and after a few seconds I hear the footsteps walking away.

I see that mouth open, know we only have a minute, take a step back, holding that head, feel the lockers behind me now, get on my tippy toes, bring him down a little more, and lick that bottom lip. I hear him groan, feel him push me back more, taste that tongue, feeling myself leaning on the lockers, and know my mom's right, there's nothing better than being in a relationship where I can feel that he likes me, like how he likes holding my waist, and he's doing it under my shirt right now, and welcomes me into his life, like how he's letting me play with his warm hair, something that's so special to Huey, his afro, even if he never says it, makes me feel like I'm the light he's been waiting for, putting my hands down on those shoulders that I know come from his dad's family because of that picture we saw in Chicago, when he let me go with him because he needed help to go to that place and he let me hopefully be that light for him. I squeeze those shoulders, feel that bite on my lip, push him back, and jump up, putting my legs around those hips, feel him grab my butt and squeeze, like I weigh nothing, and know this, what he is, Huey Freeman, that voice, that posture, that history, that drive, that warm brain, will never end, he will never end. I feel myself leaning on the lockers again, not really knowing when he stepped back holding me, crawl my hands from those shoulders back into that hair, suck on that top lip that is the sweetest thing I've ever had my whole life, hear him exhale, feel him pull away, open my eyes, see those eyes, those deep burgundy eyes, how tired they look, and know I'm making him rest tonight and not train because he needs sleep. I see him look down at my lips and he says, "I want more but." I smile, remember how good he is at keeping track of time, and I say, "Our minute is almost up."

I see those eyes close a little, feel my smirk, and I say, "So how about tonight, after we get home, we spend some time together, and then I go home and we both rest, no training?" I see those eyebrows lower, I giggle, and he says, "Jazmine," but I cut him off with, "You're tired Huey, please, just this week, tonight, and you can start again on Thursday like normal okay? And you're letting me give you a massage before I leave tonight."

I see that smirk, see those eyes open a little, that chin with that stubble rise a little, see him inhale, feeling that chest move up, almost like he just got a little more energy, and feel my heart stop, thinking maybe, I'm also the sun to those tired old eyes.

I hear those steps coming down the other hallway, kiss those lips, move my legs down, and say, "Put me down bestie so we can walk to my class and then you have to go to your fourth period."

I see that eyebrow rise and he says, "Hold that backpack." I feel my eyebrow rise, and then my eyes open, feeling those hands on my butt lift me up higher, feel myself go over that shoulder, and grab my backpack, feeling it falling.

I look up, holding onto my backpack and that nice back of his, see Mr. Leon looking as us, as we're walking away, with me over his shoulder, and I say, "Bestie I can walk and didn't we do this already today?"

I feel a slap on my butt, inhale, knowing we're in school, in the hallways, and I know they're empty, and I can see Mr. Leon from here, looking really mad, probably because this is a lot of public affection even if we're outside of the classroom, but still, we're in school. And, at lunch he only did this because I know I was a little mad and carrying me out was probably the only way he could get me out of there fast but right now, there's no reason for him to be carrying me.

We finally turn the corner, I exhale, and say, "Okay bestie, Mr. Leon can't see us anymore. You can put me down if you want." I feel that squeeze on my thigh and say, "Bestie?" I hear him exhale and hear him say, "I won't train tonight, but I want what you promised, and I want this right now."

I feel my smile, knowing I didn't promise the massage, I just said I wanted to give it to him, but maybe he really wants that massage, and I know my cheeks are super red but I kind of don't care. I exhale and say, "Okay big hair."

I feel a slap on my butt again, I giggle, and I say, "I'm sorry," but he cuts me off with, "That nickname." I hear him exhale and hear him say, "It's fine."

I swallow, seeing my vision get blurry, know I'm going to kiss him before he leaves to his class, and I say, "I want to kiss you again before you leave to your class big hair."

I feel that squeeze on my thigh, smile, hear him exhale and hear him say, "Yes."

---

I push the door open, hope my face isn't as red as it feels, walk in, see Ms. Hoffman writing on the board, put the note down on her desk, and walk over to my desk.

Then I feel my eyebrow rise and feel my smile seeing Lena sitting there. I see her smile at me, I walk around her, sit behind her, and hear Ms. Hoffman say, "I believe, even though there's only two weeks of class left for the semester, I'm keeping the seating arrangement as it is today and if anyone feels like complaining, they can come talk to me."

I feel my smile, put my hand on her shoulder, feel her put her hand over mine, and exhale, happy, and not really caring why Lena's sitting in Luis's seat and why I saw him sitting in her seat, looking kind of mad, when I walked in.

I hear her whisper, "Just copy what's on the board. I took lots of notes before you got here."

I smile, look down, take my notebook and pen out of my backpack, and know I'm hugging her after class.

---

I ask, "So, tell me!" I hear her giggle, feel her put her head on my shoulder as we're walking, and hear her say, "Well, after school, I went to his house, we talked, did you know, other stuff." I giggle, her hear her giggle again, and hear her say, "And then he told me that I was the prettiest girl he ever dated and that if that bitch, you know without saying bitch, because he's too nice." I laugh and hear her say, "Yeah, he said if that bitch ever comes up again, I'm allowed to throw it down with her."

I feel my eyebrow lift and say, "Just make sure Mr. Leon isn't around okay?" I hear her laugh, feel my smile, and hear her say, "Yeah, you know they had to ask students about what happened at lunch because no one believes him, not even the other teachers. I don't even think anyone likes him."

I inhale and say, "Well he is kind of a racist jerk." I hear her exhale, feel her arms going around my waist, smile at how cuddly she is with me now, and hear her say, "Yeah, I have one tardy on my record because of him."

I exhale and say, "You probably weren't even late." I hear her inhale and she says, "No I wasn't. Happened the first week of school. I was at the corner of the hallway, almost at my homeroom, the first bell rang, he shows up out of nowhere and tells me I have to go to the principal's office to get a tardy slip. I told him my homeroom was at the corner of that hallway and he said I wasn't gonna make it on time and I was late. Then I went to the front office and got the stupid slip. So after that I told my sister to drop me off early at school and now she does that every day."

I inhale, put my arm around her shoulders, and say, "Don't worry Lena, you'll still get into more AP classes next year with your grades." I hear her exhale and hear her say in that tiny voice, "Thank you Jazzy, for everything, and for yesterday. I almost broke up with him."

I hug her tighter and say, "Thank you for asking to switch seats with that jerk." I feel her hug me tighter and hear her say, "Remember, we're friends Jazzy, we care for each other, so I'm not gonna let you sit next to a stupid asshole calling your friend's boyfriend that. I hate that word. And he can sit in the middle of class, looking like the asshole he is, who actually asked me for my number at the beginning of the semester and then goes and calls your friend that. What a dick. Like it's okay to see a black girl and at the same time be a racist asshole with a black guy. So stupid."

I hug her, see him at the door, and say, "And that's why we're not dating those jerks. We're dating guys that are smart and funny and sweet with us and I've known Phil for a long time, even though we went to different middle schools, and I know he's never cared about people being white, black, or anything. He's just Phil. He's your Phil. Remember that."

I see him look over at us, I exhale, and hear her say, "I will. Thanks Jazzy. And remember, you guys handled some mafia guys over chocolate bars so you can handle anything okay." I start laughing, stop walking, turn to her, hug her, and say into her hair, "Thanks Lena. I needed that laugh before going into my next class."

I feel her arms go around my torso and hear her whisper, "I didn't wanna ask because I didn't wanna bring it up but I heard some people talking shit today about you crying yesterday after this class and." I inhale, feel her squeeze me, and hear her say, "And I told them all to shut up and not talk about something they don't know, but." I feel her exhale and hear her say, "If that asshole made you cry Jazzy, just know people that make you cry, when they call us names, say things to us just to make us feel bad, tell us stupid things just because they're jealous and want our boyfriends, or are just assholes and don't care about making us cry because they're only thinking about what they want, they, don't, matter, and just like I told Phil, next time Marcus comes to our table and says anything, he can punch him in the face, and I know you can fight, but next time that jerk says anything, let your man handle him, just walk away, and know he's stupid and everything he says isn't true."

I close my eyes, feel the tears at the corner of my eyes thinking about the things he told Huey, and how much they hurt because Huey doesn't talk about feelings, he doesn't. The only times he's ever talked about them is when we've been alone and he was either talking about that family, about how much he hates that family, knowing Huey doesn't hate anything, not even the government, he just thinks the government doesn't work and it needs to be fixed, but he doesn't hate it, he doesn't hate, but he hates that family, or the other times when he was telling me I made him happy. I make him happy. I feel my smile, even with those tears that are still at the corner of my eyes, thinking he's told me I make him happy three whole times, he smiles, really smiles, and laughs, when we're alone. He feels so much. And he thinks I'm beautiful. He thinks I'm beautiful. I exhale and say, "You're right Lena. All of those people that don't care about making us cry and are just thinking about what they want, they don't matter, and we need to let our boyfriends take care of the jerks, and just walk away, and then we can take care of those stupid girls that our boyfriends think aren't as pretty as us."

I hear her laugh, feel my smile get bigger, and hear her say, "You don't lie Jazzy."

I hear the bell ring, exhale, feel her pull away, see her smile at me, and hear her say, "I know you can handle, but if anything happens and you wanna talk, text me, and I'll meet you in girl's bathroom in two minutes okay?"

I exhale, smile back, and say, "Okay, don't be late." I see her smile, feel her arms leave me, and see her turn away, walking down the hallway. I inhale, turn back to my class, and see him still looking at me, but kind of looking dazed. I wonder if he's okay.

I walk up to the door, see his eyes, smell it, and exhale, looking away. I hear him say something, my name I think, and I walk into class.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, look over at Ms. Reed, see her give me a small smile, and she says, "Jazmine, do you want to move seats? You can, even if the semester's almost over."

I exhale, smile, know my friend's right and my sister, Riley, Phil, and me all handled mafia guys, and I say, "I'm okay Ms. Reed and I'm not gonna let things, people, get to me, and I already moved seats in my last period because of someone that doesn't matter. But, if anything else happens, I'll ask you if you can change my seat okay? Oh, and thank you for yesterday."

I see her laugh, feel my eyebrow rise, and she says, "Margaret's right. You're a lot stronger than they think." I feel my other eyebrow rise and before I can ask she says, "Ms. Hoffman." I feel my mouth open. So that's Ms. Hoffman's first name. I smile thinking my two favorite teachers are friends and call each other by their first names.

I see her smirk and she says, "Don't tell her I told you her first name or she won't go easy on me at our next hike." I laugh and say, "Yes Ms. Reed." I see her nod and she says, "Now go sit down and just so you know I'm not planning any group activities until next week okay." I exhale, smile, and say, "Thank you."

I feel her let go of me, I walk towards my desk, and smile at Adah and Johnny sitting in the back, knowing after last night's text, they're going on a date on Friday. I see her blush, smiling at me, and see her eyes open seeing me get to my seat. I see that worried look and I mouth, 'I'll text you, I'm okay.' I see her exhale, remember her texting me after school yesterday, telling me she saw me crying when I passed her in the hallway and wanted to know if I was okay, and after I told her that jerk had said something that was a little mean she asked me if I wanted to change seats with Johnny because she knew he would change seats with me if I wanted to. I told her I'd think about it but first I wanted to know if her and Johnny were finally going a date. I exhale, sit down, feeling my smile, knowing I really do have awesome friends that care about me, and then inhale, seeing him sit in front of me.

I look down, knowing that smell. It's not strong, but it's there, and I know it because I don't lie. My mom was the one that told me what 'rock' is when I asked her and then she told me how to know when someone's high or drunk, so I could always know when I need to stay away from people. Cairo's high.

I exhale, open my backpack, take out my notebook and pens, look up, and see he's just sitting there, not taking out his paper or pen. I look down and don't see his backpack on the floor. I shake my head and know you can't help someone that doesn't want help, getting high before class and then not even bringing his backpack, and really, specially after what he said yesterday, I know there are a lot of more important things, like making sure I take good notes in class so I can keep getting good grades, apply to all the colleges I can, and get into the same college he does or a college just a few cities away.

I hear Ms. Reed's voice say, "Okay, so today I want us to go back to a topic we briefly discussed but affects us all in many ways, whether it's directly by having friends or family that have been subjugated to this or are affected by the financial implications to our community, and that topic is racialized incarceration and how that can affect a society."

I exhale, look back at Cairo, and see he's still just sitting there, not asking anyone for a paper and pen. And I know, no matter what, no matter what he says, no matter what he's done, he's still another guy, another black guy, that's going to go through stuff he doesn't have to go through, jails, not going to college, maybe not even graduating high school, maybe getting kicked out of the program. And, I don't have to talk to him ever again. But, I can be me, Jazzy, that knows what's important, what matters for real, and know next time he says anything, it doesn't matter, and I have extra paper and pens.

I inhale, rip two papers out of my notebook, grab one of my extra pens, clip it to the papers, exhale, and hold the papers and clipped pen out, next to him.

I see him sit up straight, hear him inhale, and then exhale, and feel the papers being taken out of my hand slowly.

After they're out my hand, I look back down at my paper, and keep writing what Ms. Reed's saying because it's important.

---

I exhale, bring her in further, smell that hair, not caring for how long, because we're up here, and I hear that voice say, "I just felt bad for him."

I exhale, squeeze her, and say, "In your Jazmine head you feel grief for idiots." I feel her exhale and hear that voice say, "It's not grief bestie. It's more like, just sadness, that people expect that from us. They expect us to get high and not graduate. They expect us to ask for stuff and not work hard for it, even though we work hard every day. You work hard everyday and." I inhale those particles in that hair and hear her say, "He doesn't know that what he said yesterday, about you, it kind of."

I hear her stop, look up, put my head on that shoulder, watching downtown Woodcrest, the numerous people that live there and do not know how many people in this world live with little or nothing compared to what they have, and hear that voice say, "It kind of made me not even feel angry with him anymore. Like, before I knew that stuff, the stuff he did in Chicago after you left, telling other kids that you were different because of people that you don't even know, and then hearing him say those things, like they don't even matter, like saying those things to you was just so okay for him, to make someone feel like that is just so okay, telling someone they don't deserve someone else, I just, I just." I hear her exhale, feel those shoulders I'm holding, and hear her say, "It was after that, not even after him trying to grab me in Chicago or all the dumb things he said at the courts, but after that, after him telling me just how okay he was with telling you, you didn't deserve something, you, Huey, didn't deserve something, I just, I just."

I close my eyes, knowing the government cannot touch this place, and she's safe, and hear that voice say, "I don't even feel angry with him anymore, I just feel sad, and I know no matter what he says now, what he does know, outside of class, the only thing he'll get from me is a drop kick, not even a hello or goodbye. And one more thing I wanna tell you bestie."

I open my eyes, see those stars, that are possibly more than dead planets, possibly, but more than likely they're just dead planets, and hear her say, "I want to say I'm sorry." I exhale, hear that giggle, squeeze those shoulders, and hear her say, "I'm sorry for giving him or Ashley any of my energy when I should be giving it to my friends, who make me laugh at every second of the day, my family, who loves me no matter how immature and childish I will always be, and you, who I know is the best good person is the world and thinks I'm beautiful."

I inhale, feel those hands under my pantlegs, on my calves, and say, "You believe I'm a good person and I trust you." I hear her inhale and hear that voice say, "And you believe I'm beautiful and I trust you." I exhale and say, "Those are two complete different things Jazmine, one of which is an assumption based on what seems truthful to you and the other which is based in the physical world and can be proven."

I feel those hands leave my calves, feel those shoulders move, look down, see her turn, and inhale seeing that face in the moonlight.

I see those lips move and she says, "You're a good person Huey, through and through." I exhale and say, "If that is what," but she cuts me off with, "No." I feel my exhale through my nose, see those lips move again, and she says, "No. You're a good person and I want you to not only trust me, but know you are. You are a good person Huey, not just because of everything you do for Grandad, my family, your family, Mr. Willis, everyone, but because you just are."

I inhale, look at that face, everything she is, exhale, and say, "For you, I will try to believe that but." I see those eyes shine, see that smile, and I say, "You need to understand I do not lie and believe me when I say you're beautiful, because you are." I see that mouth open and I say, "I'm not done Jazmine." I see that mouth close, I exhale, and say, "I want you to understand that not because of any other reason than the simple fact that you need to be careful, more than you are, where you go, who you are with in class, and understand idiots will not be cordial with you simply because they want to be but because of what you look like and I am not in every class with you or with you every second of the day, and you need to be more careful and not believe everyone is good and just wants to be your friend because not everyone is like you. And those that do try to take advantage of that Jazmine head, I will beat every single time, as many times as needed, because they're all just idiots that mean nothing and do not deserve you feeling even sadness, if that's what it is, over them, and you should be giving me and others that matter that energy, even if that is selfish of me to ask for. And over all of that, over all of that logic, you say you trust me and I believe you're beautiful."

I see that tint expand over those freckles, feel my exhale, see that smile on those lips, and she says, "Then how about a truce bestie?" I feel my eyebrow rise, feel my mouth open, see her laugh through that small nose, feel my eyebrows lower, and say, "Jazmine." I feel that peck on my lips, remember that massage she said she would be giving me tonight, and she says, "How about you start trying to believe you're a good person Huey, not just because I know you are, but because you believe you are, and I promise to not give people that are mean and jerks and don't matter my energy and be more careful in class, with boys, because my boyfriend thinks I'm not just pretty but beautiful, okay?"

I feel my smirk, exhale, bring my hands down to that ass, see her swallow, and I say, "Fine, we can start after you keep your promise tonight." I see that smile, see her scoot up, inhale, feeling those breasts on my chest, those hands on my shoulders, feeling her kneading them, feel that nose brush up against my own, see that darker variation in that green, squeeze that ass, and hear her say over my mouth, "Okay big hair, but I still want to kiss you before we go home so I can give you that massage." I feel those lips press down on my own, close my eyes, feel my exhale, and remember I'm not training tonight, I'm resting after she puts those hands on my back, and I'm a good person and I do deserve all of this, and right now I want to remind her how beautiful I think she is, knowing if it's possible for me to believe I'm a good person, one day it could be possible to make that Jazmine head believe she's not just pretty, she's beautiful.

---

Hi everyone,

End for this chapter. Honestly I know it was long but I'm not kidding, I already wrote like half the next chapter and I just didn't want to add it to this one because it's going to take me another week or two to set up the next chapter. But I will get to it and post soon.

Please let me know if you're liking it like usu.

Thank you for reading,

Bulma's Ego.