Book Three, Part Two: Facing Truths

Derek's Point of View

I quietly slipped out of the exam room and leaned briefly against the door, taking a much needed deep breath.

A soft hand touched my arm.

"You okay," came Addie's soft inquiry.

I shrugged her hand off and walked away, leaving her there. I know that probably had hurt her, but I couldn't find it in me to care. I searched for an empty room; any would do. I finally found one and slammed the door behind me as I paced the small on call room.

After all these years, to be face to face with her, to hear her voice, had been a fantasy of mine. A dream.

But never in the dream did she look at me with such hate, spew such vitriol at me. I knew that I deserved it, even if she didn't know the entire story. I had left her with no explanation other than I didn't love her anymore. That she wasn't good enough for me.

I was so lost in thought, I didn't notice that the door had opened until it slammed against the wall, knocking a picture down.

I looked into the angry gray eyes of one Dr. Mark Sloan.

He came so close to me that his nose almost touched mine. I stood my ground.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He said, so angry I could feel his spit spray my face.

"I am the new Neurosurgeon here at Seattle Grace." I said unnecessarily.

"Did you know?"

"Know what?" Yes, I was playing stupid.

"Don't you dare act like you don't know what I am talking about." He seethed. "Did you know Mer was here?"

"No." I answered honestly.

Yes, I had suspected. No, I didn't know for sure and I sure as hell didn't ask Bailey. But Mer loved Washington and this hospital. This is where her mom had gotten her start so it made sense that she would practice here.

"Yeah, sure it didn't." He said shortly.

I tried to reign in my temper and remember this had been one of my best friends. Then I thought about the fact that my best friend had moved in on my girlfriend and I got pissed all over again. It was a never-ending cycle.

"So you and Mer, huh?" I posed the same question to him as I had to her.

He raised his chin up to look me dead in the eye, just as she had.

"Yep." He said with a lackadaisical tone. I clenched my fists at the sight of the smirk across his lips.

"Why?" I asked.

"Why? Are you fucking kidding me? You left here there. She was destroyed when you left. It practically killed her. You practically killed her. It took all the people in her life to get her to start living again. To see past the hurt. To see that she could get over you and move on and be happy. And she is." I shot him a disbelieving look. "Normally, she is. You know when her past doesn't collide with her present. When you don't come waltzing in with your Stick Up Her Ass wife like you are the greatest thing since sliced bread. We are happy. We have been for thirteen years now."

I shot my head up.

"She said fifteen." I stated.

"We were friends first. It took me a long time to get her to trust me. To get her to trust that I wasn't going to leave her. That I wouldn't tell her that she wasn't good enough for me. That I wouldn't be like you." He looked at me long and hard. "Why did you do that to her?"

"That is something I need to tell her, not you." I said quietly.

"Yeah, well good luck with that. She doesn't want to hear anything you have to say."

"Yeah, I kind of got that feeling." I sighed.

"You can't blame her. If you only knew…" He trailed off.

"If I only knew what?" I asked.

"Well, that is really something she needs to tell you, not me." He said turning my words around on me.

I rolled my eyes and laughed harshly.

"You really are a bastard." I said.

He laughed back just as harshly.

"Yeah, but I am the bastard that has Meredith." He taunted.

"How long have you been married?" I asked suddenly.

He avoided my eyes.

That look said it all.

"You two aren't married, are you?"

He stayed silent.

"Why aren't you married? She not good enough for you?" I taunted him.

He shoved me against the wall.

"You listen to me. I love her. I love her more than you ever did. I have been there through everything. I didn't abandon her. I didn't make her curl up in a ball and want to die. So, don't you dare put your own sins off on me. You stay away from her. You got me?" He hissed.

I smirked at him.

"I will, for now. But this isn't over Mark. She doesn't know the whole story yet, but she will." I said. "And when she does…"

"What? When she knows what do you think will happen? She will fall into your arms and you two ride off into the sunset? Will your wife tag along?"

I swallowed hard.

"Yeah, forgot about her, huh? I would've too. She doesn't hold a candle to Mer." He let me go and backed away to the door. "Just remember, you don't know the whole story either, but I do. And that, my friend, is what will keep your plans from coming to fruition."

He left me with one last hard look. He left the door open and I could see people scurrying about, working. Doing what they were paid to do. Something I was not currently doing.

If I didn't do my job, I would be back in New York before the ink dried on my shiny new contract. I squared my shoulders and plastered a charming smile on my face.

As I walked out of the small room, I knew one truth had been solidified.

I still loved Meredith Grey.