Chapter 33

I could have stayed with Legolas on that bed forever but as the sun climbed towards her peak, I finally shifted and lifted my head to look down at him. He had curled around me in his sleep and was still lost somewhere in a dreamland, I thought, but the shadows in his face were no longer. Therefore, I bent to kiss his temple and then the pointed peak of his ear, and there also I exhaled over his skin.

He stirred, then, and a smile caught his lips. "What time is it?" he asked, and his voice was deliciously drenched in sleep.

"Nearing noon," I told him, "and I think it is time we rose."

I brushed some of his hair from his cheek and left a kiss there also. But he only burrowed deeper into the pillow and let go of a long sigh.

"Could we not stay?"

"Aye, we could," I smiled, my hand returning to his hair. It had caught the shimmer of the day and flowed in golden rays around him. "Until Glorfindel breaks down the door for fear that I have somehow perished."

He roused himself at that and a shadow fell across his face as he turned it to me. "Do not jest about such things, my lord."

I kissed him again. "It is over," I told him when we parted. "Do not fear."

He did not look entirely convinced but he rose with me and I saw that he was in the same clothes as yesterday.

"Come," I said, and caught him around the waist and pulled him into my arms. When I had him secure in my embrace, I dipped my head and placed a kiss just beneath his earlobe. "We will wash now, and dress in something less creased. And then I shall speak some more with your father for now I know what I wish to tell him."

He pulled back a little. "And what is that, my lord?"

I looked into his eyes and in them glimmered the faintest blue, and I read in them a small gleam of hope.

"What I should have told him upon his arrival," I smiled. "Which is that I agree to his demands."

But Legolas only frowned. "I am not sure I understand?"

I traced the line of his cheekbone with my fingertips and the softness of his skin overwhelmed me.

"You have not spoken with him?"

"No, my lord. For I did not know what to tell him. In truth, I evaded him…"

"Then you shall have to be content with this riddle for the time being," I told him. "Until I have spoken with Thranduil and made my purpose clear to him."

He shook his head but a small smile played on his lips. Yet he said nothing but only yielded as I once again joined my mouth with his and allowed myself to dissolve in the light that lay gently wrapped around us.

o.O.o

To wash and dress again in clean clothes was simply bliss. If anyone of my household found it strange that I sent for warm water in the middle of the day I never heard their questions, but, in any case, I would not have cared. For my heart was light in my breast – lighter than I had ever felt it, I was sure – and in my mind swirled all the possibilities and their half-shaped dream-forms claimed all my concentration. If Legolas was willing, I would espouse him and embrace him before my family and people, and so also in front of all the peoples of Arda if they were in any way interested in seeing it.

All of this was still on my mind as I finally stepped inside my study. It would be untrue to say that I was wholly free of a shade of trepidation as I considered making my union with Legolas official, but I felt more like myself than I had in many long dark hours and that was comforting.

I was standing by my desk, thus deep in thought, when I caught a movement in the corner of my eye.

"Father?"

Elladan had been passing by in the hallway, but at the sight of me at my desk he had paused mid-step. He was in riding gear, with high boots and leather arm guards, and he had meticulously tied his hair back from his face. Now he visibly hesitated and his grey eyes skimmed my form.

"Elladan," I said. "Come in, if you will."

"I will stain your carpet," he warned me, glancing down at his feet.

"I will not scold you," I said, offering him a tentative smile.

But he only nodded and slid over the threshold. He came to stand before me with his eyes still on my face and there were a thousand questions in them. I leaned back against the desk and searched for words I once never would have expected myself to speak.

"I love him," I said at last. "I do not know how it came to be so, but I do. And I have opened my heart to him."

"Well, we learned as much from Thranduil," said Elladan, and there was a twitch in the corner of his lips.

"I did not intend for that to be so," I told him, and I would have gone on but he laughed.

"Indeed, I should hope not! Though I suppose he did your work for you."

I shook my head. "That is not how it should have been. Elladan, I do no–"

"Father," he cut across me gently, and took a step closer. And he took my hands in a gesture I had never known from him before. "Do not fret. For we are happy for you, Elrohir and I. Somewhat confused, aye, and not a little shocked. But, truly, father, we arehappy."

I looked down to where our hands were joined and despite his words there washed through my heart a wave of the deepest sorrow.

"I did not seek this," I said quietly. "After your mother left, I thought I was all but spent…" I raised my eyes to his face and looked into it. "If not for you, and your brother and your sister, I fear I would have been consumed by grief."

His grey eyes, so often full of humour and jest, were softened. "We know," he said, in a voice that was equally low. "And we feared it."

"I am sorry," I said, "for not being stronger then."

But he only shook his dark head and the line of his lips melted into a mild smile. "I could never fathom what it must be like. We hold you blameless."

I found no words to that but my eyes stung with the tears I had always hidden from my children. He released my hands so that I was free to brush them away, and then spoke again:

"But now we see in you a desire for life returned," he said, "and the despair that settled in you upon our mother's departure we perceive is all but gone. If this is because of the love which has grown between yourself and Legolas… Then we are only thankful. And relieved." He smiled again. "And glad."

"You would have brought it back, all of you, eventually," I told him, though I was not so sure.

And he read the truth in my face, but he was merciful. "Perhaps," he said. "But love comes in many shapes and forms and each nourishes us differently."

Through the tears I smiled at him. "When did you learn such wisdom?"

He grinned. "You think we only contend with Glorfindel and that we never dwell on other matters than fighting. No, in truth we have spoken much with him over the years and discussed many things that are not related to warfare." He eyed me. "Have you never heard his tales from his former life?"

"I have," I said, my mind still trying to fit these new pieces of information together, "though it was long ago."

Elladan laughed, though it was a kind sound. "You are indeed very old, father. It is a wonder Legolas sees anything in you at all." But then he was serious and there flashed in his voice a hint of urgency. "Keep him here, if he will be kept. Allow him, father, please, to heal you."

I nodded. "If he is willing."

"Good." He took a step back and surveyed me. "I shall find my brother now and relay all of this to him. If he has not already wheedled it from my mind even as I stand here."

I frowned at him. "You know that skill?"

"Of course," he said, looking quite surprised that I should ask at all. "Always I sense him, as he does me. Is that not so for all elven twins?"

"No," I told him. "It is not so."

"Then we are special," he grinned. "And even more so than we thought. Which pleases me."

"I am sure it does," I told him wryly.

"Indeed." Then his grin faded and he beheld me once again. "I do not know what it is like to have opened the heart to another, let alone being forced to close it thereafter," he said softly. "I can only imagine what pain would lie in waiting for me if I were sundered from Elrohir. For he is my twin and I know him as I know myself, and he is ever present within me. Therefore, I say to you, father: love Legolas as you will and we shall never spite you for it."

I swallowed. "Thank you."

He might have wished to say something more but yet again there was movement over by the door and we turned as one. And there stood Thranduil and his eyes were sharp and his face betrayed not a single one of his thoughts. Elladan it was who found his footing first and he slid me a quick glance.

"Ah, I shall leave you." He gave me just as quick a smile and then he inclined his head to Thranduil. "My father is all yours, my lord."

I watched him go but as he slid out the door to come behind the Elvenking, he turned a grin over his shoulder and lifted an eyebrow as if acknowledging my upcoming trial. Then he was gone.

Barely had I seen the last of his dark head before Thranduil lifted his chin. "I have not seen my son since my arrival."

I quenched my sigh. "Will you not come in?" I asked him. "And we will speak in private."

He agreed to this by saying nothing against it, and then he drifted inside my study. He was clad in the dark greens of his Forest but had abstained from donning his crown for which I was absurdly relieved. When the door was firmly closed behind him, I motioned at the chairs and though he claimed one of them, he looked as if he would have preferred standing.

"I could accuse you of many things, Elrond," he told me when I, too, was seated. His eyes on me were searching. "Not least for disrespecting me enough to hide my son in your bedchamber even as I am visiting you."

I held back the remark that would have flown from my lips had I felt inclined to argue. For this visit was of his own making and I had been given no choice in the matter.

"But," he went on ere I had come up with an answer and his eyes narrowed. "I see in your face that this is not so. You are not withholding him."

It had not been shaped in the form of a question but nonetheless I shook my head. "I am not," I told him honestly, and I was relieved. "Legolas' choices are his own."

It was cruel to suggest that it was his own son who shied away from him but Thranduil did not anger. Therefore, I seized my chance and went on rather quickly:

"Nor do I seek to embarrass you," I said. "But many truths needed to be revealed to him and my life has been long. It takes time to unveil the past."

And where perhaps I had expected him to scoff at me, he did not. Instead he sat back and a thoughtful look came into his face, and finally he nodded.

"Then it is of the past that we shall speak," said he.

TBC