Pairings: Lavi/Allen + Neah/Lavi [slow burn]
Rating + warnings: T / mild suicidal ideation, major character death
The hall was quiet, silent but for the tiny movements of those who were stood within it, all waiting for what felt like judgement.
Lavi sighed, back resting against the wall behind him, foot tapping against stone. He turned over the Innocence that had once been Apocryphos between his fingertips, feeling anxious, impatient.
It had been well over an hour since Allen and Road had left to talk with the rest of the Noah Family. All the Akuma the Noah had brought with them had disappeared. No-one had seen or heard anything since, not even a trace.
In the meantime, with Tiedoll and Klaud's help, all remaining Exorcists had been brought together. More had survived than Lavi expected, soothing the feeling of fear within his heart. Out of all the Exorcists, Cross and Winters had fallen, as had the Third Exorcists. Lavi thought of Allen and Neah, of Link, and knew how heavy a weight grief could be.
Footsteps drew Lavi's attention. He looked up to see Komui enter the room, Bak and Link by his side, all equally exhausted.
Lenalee got up and rushed forward, pulling Komui into a tight hug, which he returned with a weary smile. The smile swiftly fell from his features, however, which made Lenalee return to her previous spot on the floor, heart heavy.
The room fell silent. Komui rubbed the back of his neck and closed his eyes. Klaud exchanged a glance with Tiedoll before raising her voice to speak.
"So? What did you find out?"
Komui sighed, voice heavy with the weight of grief. "It's… not good, I'm afraid."
Kanda gave a derisive snort. "We know that much."
Komui couldn't help but smile at that. He sat down, back resting against the stone wall behind, head raised. He looked up at the ceiling, smile falling.
"Only the Asia branch managed to pull through." The weight of that statement sat upon all their shoulders, crushing them. "The other branches didn't have any protection. The Noah focused their efforts here, but the Akuma did more than enough."
Bak cut in, voice sombre. "If not for Fou, the Asia Branch would've been completely destroyed."
Silence descended upon them, heavy, suffocating. Tiedoll coughed into a hand before speaking, trying to keep any emotion out of his voice.
"What about Central? The Vatican?"
Komui shook his head. "The Noah hit Central hard. I tried to…" Komui's voice wavered, betraying his fear. He swallowed thickly, composing himself before continuing. "I tried to contact the Great Generals. Nothing."
Tiedoll shook his head. "That can't be. They must just be -"
"No, they're definitely dead." Link's voice had a hard edge to it. "The Chief Inspector, the cardinals, all of them… they're all gone."
Deathly silence filled the room. No-one spoke, did nothing more than stare at the floor, all filled with a sense of horror. Those that knew the truth about the Black Order, however, felt a sense of relief sit alongside dread.
Lenalee raised her voice to speak, tentative hope in her voice. "Then… it's up to us what we do next."
All turned to look at her. Komui met her gaze, saw the determination in her eyes, however faint, and smiled, almost moved to tears by it. He nodded, trying to keep his voice steady.
"It is up to us."
A feeling of immense pressure suddenly placed itself upon all their shoulders, but Lavi most of all. Used to being the observer, now he was in the spotlight; the wielder of the Heart, the key to everything. It was an awful feeling. Lavi drew into himself a little, unable to stop the shaking of his hands.
Junior's presence built within their mind. He had been keeping an eye on Lavi since the fighting came to an end, knowing how difficult the next few steps would be. He placed an internal hand on Lavi's shoulder, trying his best to sound reassuring.
Walker and the Fourteenth will come back, Junior stated, voice as gentle as he could manage. We'll find a way through this.
Lavi sighed in response, restless and ill at ease. Lenalee noticed his unrest and placed a reassuring hand on Lavi's shoulder. Their eyes met, and Lavi did his best to return the smile she gave him.
All they could do was their best. With Adam dead, Apocryphos gone, the Black Order's infrastructure practically dismantled - it was their best chance at defusing things, at stopping the war that had gone on for years beyond count. There would be roadblocks, and Lavi knew that better than most.
He remembered little of his time as a Bookman, but he could never forget the power that grief could wield. It was at the heart of the Millennium Earl's power too, he realised with a touch of bitter irony. Tragedy, death, loss - wielding them as weapons could have a devastating effect.
Now, at the end of all things, they would have to make a choice. Would they, like those before them, use their grief to hurt others? Lavi wondered, heart twisting in his chest, what Bookman would have wanted him to do.
The sound of footsteps drew everyone's attention. Bak and Link both peered their heads out the open door and froze, eyes widening. Lavi didn't need to know who they'd seen - he already knew.
Lavi immediately ran forward, heart beating fast within his chest. Timcanpy, who had been happily asleep on his head, flew behind him. Lavi poked his head out of the hall to see Allen and Neah, Crown Clown by their side, the Noah not far behind them.
Lavi ran forward and pulled Allen and Neah into his arms. They patted his back, head buried in his shoulder for a moment before pulling away. As soon as Allen and Neah saw Timcanpy, they reached out for it and held it close to their chest, voice thick with emotion.
"We're so glad you're okay, Tim."
Timcanpy gave a quiet noise in response before breaking free of their grasp and settling down atop their head. Lavi smiled up at Timcanpy before poking Allen and Neah in the forehead, his poor attempt at sounding irritated completely overshadowed by relief.
"You took your time."
Allen came to the forefront, a gentle smile gracing his features. "Managing this lot is harder than you think."
He gestured behind him at the remnants of the Noah Family. Lavi exchanged a glance with Road, then Tyki, and couldn't help but stare a little at Crown Clown, silent and watchful, before giving a wry smile.
"Yeah, I think you have your work cut out for you."
Allen groaned. "You can say that again. Having to deal with Neah on top of that has been exhausting."
Neah gave a derisive comment within their mind, but Allen ignored him. Allen gave Lavi a kiss on the cheek and did his best to look hopeful.
"Let's… let's go sort this out."
Lavi sighed. "I really hope we can sort this out, Allen."
Allen looked over Lavi's shoulder, saw Bak and Link looking beyond him at the Noah, and faltered. He looked down, voice quiet, so quiet Lavi almost didn't hear him.
"I hope so too."
Lavi took Allen's hand in his and encouraged him onward, trying his best to look reassuring. Bak and Link drew away from the door, not commenting on the closeness Lavi and Allen now shared, though they couldn't hide the smiles on their faces all the same.
Lavi and Allen entered the hall, Crown Clown close behind. Lenalee rushed forward to pull Allen into a hug, a warm smile upon her face. Her smile fell when the Noah entered the hall.
A tense silence descended upon the room. No words could express how suddenly the atmosphere changed in that moment. The Exorcists' hands went to their weapons instinctively, shoulders raised, eyes narrowed.
Komui, Bak, and Link moved to the other side of the room, joining the Exorcists. Lenalee moved to sit beside her brother, gaze fixed on the Noah, unable to shake off a keen feeling of distrust. The Noah stood awkwardly by the door, exchanging glances, wondering how this would all turn out.
Left between the two sides were Allen and Lavi, knowing in that moment, more clearly than they ever had before, exactly what kind of role they had to play.
For a moment, no-one spoke, did nothing more than wait in uncomfortable, unbearable silence. Then, with a sigh, Tyki sat down, placed a cigarette between his lips, and raised an eyebrow at Allen.
"Off to a great start, huh, boy?"
Allen didn't respond, just about resisted the temptation to give in to hysterical laughter, and cast a glance at the people before him. Komui met his gaze, no distrust in his eyes, only veiled concern. Miranda tried to look reassuring and failed, rather miserably. Kanda gave him a look which expressed one feeling and one feeling alone: faith. It gave Allen more confidence than anything Kanda could ever have said to him.
Allen took a hold of that confidence and used it to calm himself down, to take a deep breath in and out before walking to the left-hand side wall and sitting down. Crown Clown stood to one side of him. Despite lacking a face, its mask almost gave off a sense of reassurance, and it soothed Allen's frayed nerves.
Lavi sat beside Allen, casting a glance at the Noah before doing so. Lavi found himself beside Jasdevi, who gave his right eye a curious glance before looking away again. Allen was sat beside Klaud, who gave him a curt nod before turning back to face the Noah with narrowed eyes.
The tense silence returned with a vengeance. Allen debated speaking up, but found himself without words. Lavi looked over at him, saw the tense way he was holding himself, and gently took hold of his right hand. He gave it a squeeze, and gave Allen a reassuring smile when their eyes met.
"You can do it."
Allen managed a weak smile in return, and took in a few deep breaths before speaking, trying to keep his voice steady.
"Well… we need to find a way to end this, don't we?"
No-one answered. Allen felt the pressure of the situation sit upon his shoulders and crush him. Trying his best to ignore that pressure, he continued, gesturing at both sides of the room as he did so.
"I…" Chaoji's eyes met his, filled with distrust. "We…" Lulubell tutted, eyeing up the Exorcists with a curled lip. "So…"
Allen closed his eyes with a sigh, hand shaking. He felt Neah's presence build beside his own, stronger and stronger until he felt his control slip away. It was both reassuring and not, to hand over to him. Neah wasn't known for his tact, and that thought crossed Lavi's mind as well as Allen's as they watched Neah raise himself up and begin to speak.
"Look, listen. We get it." He pointed at the Noah. "You hate these guys because they tried to destroy the world. And you guys -" he gestured at the Black Order "- hate these guys because they got in the way."
Bak blinked a few times before sighing and shaking his head. "That's… one way to put it."
Neah ignored him and continued speaking before anyone else could cut in. "So, here we are. The old Earl is dead. The Black Order might as well stop existing. No-one wants to keep fighting. So -"
"So, what, we put down our weapons and hope they do the same?"
Klaud's voice was filled with distrust. Neah could understand it, to a point. He gave her a look, weighed up his options - which weren't high considering the glare her pet monkey was giving him - and sighed.
"You wanna continue a pointless war 'cause you can't trust the other side to be nice to you? Is that it?"
Chaoji stood up, hands curled into fists. "How can you talk about it like that?! They -" he pointed at the Noah, teeth gritted "- they killed our loved ones. Our friends, our families! And we're supposed to just -"
"Would they want you to keep fightin'?"
Chaoji looked over at Lavi, opened his mouth to speak, and found he couldn't respond. Lavi gave him a hard look, one that spoke of the years he had spent recording the horrors of war.
"Revenge is all well and good, ain't it, but that's all it is in the end." Chaoji tried to cut in but Lavi continued, voice firm. "We've all been fightin' to end this. So yeah, Neah's goin' about this in the most untactful way possible -" Neah rolled his eyes and huffed "- but he ain't wrong. What's the point in fightin' anymore?"
"One question I have…" All turned to look at Komui, who kept his gaze fixed on his bandaged hands initially "… is whether or not you -" he directed his words at the Noah now, meeting Road's gaze in particular "- actually want to stop fighting."
Silence, for a moment, before Tyki spoke up, lit cigarette poised between his fingertips. "Gonna be honest? Not really."
Most of the Exorcists immediately stood. Neah and Lavi both gave Tyki a dark look that said without words how much they would eviscerate him if he made things even worse.
Tyki rolled his eyes and shrugged. "Look, I'm just being honest. I was only ever really in this for the fun."
"For the fun?!" Chaoji took a step forward, every word dripping with hatred. "You think killing innocent people, taking lives, is fun?!"
Tyki opened his mouth to speak but Neah immediately cut him off. "Don't say a fucking thing, I swear."
Tyki glared but said nothing. Neah took a step toward Chaoji and found himself grabbed by the shirt, face-to-face with the living embodiment of wrath. Timcanpy fell off of Neah's head and hissed at Chaoji before settling down on Lavi's shoulder, who gave it a soothing pat.
It crossed Neah's mind, for a moment, how fitting it would be if Chaoji awakened as the Noah of Wrath, but Allen gave him an internal look that said how much it wasn't the time to point out such a thing.
Neah rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to speak but found himself cut off by Kanda, to his surprise.
"We've all lost something."
Neah looked over at Kanda, could feel Allen stir beside him, could see the memories pass before his eyes; pools of water, lotus flowers, Alma's bright, hopeful smile. Chaoji relaxed a little, just enough to look over at Kanda, who continued speaking, voice firm.
"You want them all to be dead, right? To pay for what they've done?" Chaoji couldn't respond but everyone in that room knew what his answer would be. "But it wouldn't bring any of them back, would it?"
Chaoji hesitated for a moment before letting go of Neah and returning to his spot on the floor, hands shaking, teeth gritted. Neah sat back down and let out a sigh. Lavi placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. Neah patted his hand before raising his voice to speak.
"Look, we're not here to argue, as fun as that is." Neah gestured at the Noah. "These idiots are prepared to stop fighting."
Tiedoll raised an eyebrow. "And they're prepared to listen to you?"
Neah gave a wry smile. "As their new Earl, if they don't I can assure you I'll kill them all. I did it before, and I'd do it again."
Jasdevi and Tyki both tried to speak up, but Road shut them up with a look that both knew all too well, one that came with candles and bodily injury.
Silence descended upon the room for a moment before Komui spoke up. "So… what are your terms?"
Komui's voice held no distrust, only a sense of weary acceptance. Neah waited a moment before replying, giving Road a quick glance before he did so.
"Well, the Earl's 'scenario' is bullshit, as far as I'm concerned. We'll get rid of the Akuma, the factory, the Arks too." The Black Order members exchanged glances, surprise and disbelief evident in their expressions. Neah continued before anyone could speak up. "And we'll get rid of our Noah Memories too."
Stunned silence for a moment before Lavi spoke up, concern showing in his expression. "Wait, hang on. Are you - ?"
Neah ignored him, speaking to the Black Order members directly, voice firm, resolute. "We know you guys aren't exactly gonna be happy about a bunch of Noah running around, even if we get rid of everything else. So, that's what we're prepared to do. As for our terms…" he cast Lavi a glance before looking away again "… what're you prepared to do?"
No-one spoke, not at first. Lavi's gaze was fixed on Neah, concern and uncertainty taking a hold of him. Lenalee broke the silence, voice wavering and uncertain, but holding some amount of conviction.
"If they're…" she turned to face the other Black Order members, voice becoming more firm "… if they're prepared to stop fighting, then we don't need Innocence anymore, do we?"
Silence, for a moment, as the weight of that statement sunk its claws in. All those that bore Innocence felt a deep sense of unease at the thought of it.
Entire lives spent devoted to a cause, a cause that no longer mattered… Lenalee placed a hand on the rings around her ankles, heart twisting in her chest. The God she had always hated, the duty she had always resented - finally, it could come to an end. But who would she be without it?
That same thought occurred to them all, and it left a bitter feeling in their hearts.
Krory sighed, voice wavering. "Even if that's true, wouldn't we… wouldn't we Fall if we let our Innocence be destroyed?"
Lenalee froze, images of Suman flashing across her vision. Allen could never forget it either, the wrath of Innocence forever imprinted upon his memory. They both turned to Lavi, not entirely on purpose. Others followed suit, wanting answers, unknowing of what Innocence would do when faced with its own destruction.
Lavi noticed he was being stared at and raised his hands. "Hey, don't look at me. I have no idea."
The room fell silent, briefly, before Komui exchanged a glance with Bak and spoke. "From all that we've seen of Innocence, accommodators Fall when they betray their Innocence, betray God."
"And what does 'betrayal' mean?" Krory couldn't hide the fear in his voice. "If we decide to destroy our Innocence, what if that…?"
Bak sighed. "There's no way we could know. I've never seen an Exorcist willingly let their Innocence be destroyed before."
The room fell silent, tension rising. Allen thought it over for a moment before remembering Cross, the fading image of Judgement, the indescribable relief on his face. Eyes widening, he spoke up, voice quiet.
"Before... before Master died, he…" Allen swallowed thickly, trying to keep emotion out of his voice "… he chose to give up his Innocence."
Tiedoll looked over at him, voice softened by pity. "He was close to death, Allen. That in itself could have prevented him Falling."
Allen sighed, hand clenched into a fist. There was so much uncertainty, so much doubt, so much that they didn't know. A tense silence consumed the room, the air almost thick, suffocating. In that silence, Link looked down at his hands - aged beyond his years, shaking, always shaking - and sighed.
"I'm… not an accommodator, so I can't say I know this for certain, but…" He hesitated, taking a moment to think of the right words. "What… what we know of Innocence, what we thought God's will constituted… a lot of what we know has been influenced by those higher up within the Black Order."
Komui turned to face Link, hesitated, and then nodded. "Yes… yes it has been."
Link continued, voice becoming firm, a hard edge to it. "And, as we found out, there is much about the Black Order that wasn't what we expected. The reason why it was formed, the truth about Innocence…" Link looked over at the Exorcists, a trace of sympathy in his eyes. "It was never really about winning the war, or even fighting the Noah Family, was it? The true will of Innocence is perhaps entirely unknown to us."
No-one spoke. All who had seen Apocryphos, what Lavi had become when consumed by the Heart, knew the horrifying power of Innocence and shuddered. Lavi drew into himself a little, thinking of the emerald garden aflame, of what lay in wait within it.
The silence grew heavier and heavier. When it became too much, Komui sighed and shook his head.
"There's… no way we could know. If we allowed Innocence to be destroyed, perhaps it would be seen as betrayal. And, come to think of it…" Komui paused before directing his words at the Noah "… if Innocence was destroyed, how would you lose your Noah Memories?
Neah exchanged a glance with Road, who spoke up in Neah's stead, voice quiet but firm.
"The Millennium Earl is the source of the Noah's power. If there isn't an Earl, we Noah can't exist. It's something we have always feared." Road turned to Lavi, a wry smile gracing her features. "Our goal was always to kill this idiot. Not that we knew it was him."
Lavi sighed. "Thank fuck for that."
Neah cut in before anyone else could speak. "So, if me and Allen lose our Noah Memory, the other Noah will lose theirs."
Silence descended upon them for a moment before Komui spoke up, disbelief evident in his voice.
"Are you sure?"
Neah sighed, frustrated. "Of course I'm not fucking sure! None of us are! What do you expect us to - ?"
"No, you're right." Neah blinked, confused by Komui's apologetic tone. "We can't expect that of you, just like you can't of us."
No-one spoke. The silence that consumed the room was heavy, full of tension, but there was tentative hope there all the same. Komui took a moment to think it over before speaking.
"So, that's what you're willing to do." There was still an air of disbelief to his words, but the Noah didn't comment, trying to ignore their own feelings of uncertainty. "That leaves what we do with the Black Order, with Innocence."
No-one spoke at first, until Kanda's voice cut in, firm, resolute. "We destroy it."
"How?"
Komui's voice had a hard edge to it. Kanda couldn't respond, unknowing of the answer.
Lulubell raised her voice to speak, an almost teasing lilt to her voice. "We could destroy it."
Silence, for a moment, before most of the Exorcists stood, an almost unanimous sense of refusal sweeping across the room.
Miranda shook her head, voice raised. "Why would we let you do that?!"
Chaoji activated his Innocence, teeth gritted. "Like hell I'll do that!"
Krory stood, hands buried in his hair. "We'd definitely Fall if we let that happen!"
Komui and Bak immediately stood, hands raising in a placating gesture. The tension in the room rose exponentially. Lulubell and Jasdevi pushed themselves up, eyes narrowed. Klaud activated her Innocence, teeth gritted.
Everything was unravelling. All that they had fought for, all that had come to pass, almost meant nothing in that moment. It was no longer about the war; it was about safety, revenge, fighting for its own sake.
Lavi couldn't remember it clearly, but he knew he'd seen this before, too many times to count. Petty, arguing humans, wanting nothing more than to get back to slitting each other's throats - he'd seen it before, he'd seen it all before.
Junior sighed within their mind. The both of them watched the chaos unfold as if they were the observing Bookman once more, watching as war robbed them of all that was good in the world. Time slowed. Neah had several people practically at his throat, Noah and Exorcist alike. The grey between the black and white was diminishing, fading like the light.
Lavi thought of Allen, of all that he had hoped for, and raised himself up.
"Oi."
No response. Lavi gritted his teeth, took in a deep breath, and activated his Innocence. A flash of blue across his face, right eye gleaming in the light, a faint image of eyes and faces, that emerald garden forever burning, as he raised his voice to shout.
"Will you all shut the fuck up?!"
Sudden, abrupt silence consumed them. All turned to look at Lavi and froze. In that moment, he was more the accommodator of the Heart than ex-apprentice to the Bookman Clan, and it was a startling comparison to all who knew him.
Lavi sighed, took a moment to reign in his anger, and continued speaking. "The Noah are right." Brief outrage, voices raised to cut him off, but Lavi spoke over them, voice firm. "How the fuck else are we gonna destroy it?"
"All we'd be doing -" Klaud raised herself up, body shaking from anger "- is playing right into their hands."
"Would you?" Lavi took a step towards her, eyes narrowed. "They already said they'd step down. They're prepared to stop this. Why the fuck aren't any of you?!"
Silence descended upon them, tense, suffocating. Klaud couldn't respond, stunned by the anger in Lavi's voice, the sheer vindication. All the doubt, fear, and uncertainty was still very much present. All wanted to ask if words would equate to actions, unable to shake off a feeling of distrust.
In the centre of the room, Lavi stood, no longer the observer. All those years of wanting to step in, to make things right, rose within him. Neah saw the wrath in his eyes and smiled, endeared by it. He walked forward to stand by Lavi's side and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"You know, if you weren't the Heart of all Innocence, you'd make a pretty good Noah of Wrath." Neah looked over at Chaoji and winked. "Him too, if you wanna duke it out."
Lavi couldn't help but laugh at that. Chaoji said nothing, eyes narrowed in distaste. Lavi shook his head, deactivated his Innocence, and sighed, slumping a little. Neah patted his back, looked around the room, and raised his voice to speak.
"Look, you wanna fight this out? Go for it. I'm gonna go take a fucking nap in the meantime. But -" Neah cut in before anyone could speak "- if I don't try and sort this out, a certain idiot in my head is gonna kick my ass."
Lavi, and those that knew both Neah and Allen, laughed. Allen rolled his eyes, unable to hide the smile on his face, before giving a wordless request for Neah to take a step back. Neah had no complaints, tired beyond all comprehension of the word, not wanting to argue with both sides of the room any longer.
Allen took in the tension for a moment, the wavering silence. He looked over at Lavi, saw the warm smile on his face, the tentative hope in his eyes, and felt determination rise within him. He looked across the room, taking a moment to think of the right words, before speaking.
"You're all scared. You want to be safe, to protect what matters to you." Allen placed a hand over his heart, voice brimming with conviction. "That's all I want, all Neah wants. Lavi too. We know it's hard, we know you can't trust each other, and you don't have to. Trust in what you know is true instead."
Allen looked over at Crown Clown, feeling his connection to it burn brightly within his heart. He turned his gaze to those around him. Exorcist, Noah - everyone looked the same from where he stood, perfectly at ease within the grey between the black and white.
"We have a chance to end this, here and now." Lavi grinned, filled with pride for the boy by his side. "So let's do it."
Silence descended upon them for a moment before Bak cut in, weariness evident in his voice. "We agree with you there, Walker. The question is how."
Allen gestured at the Noah. "We let them destroy our Innocence."
Bak raised an eyebrow. "Then how do we destroy your Noah Memory?"
Allen opened his mouth to speak then closed it. He gave a hesitant laugh. "Yeah, guess we have to figure that out, huh?"
Bak groaned and buried his head in his hands. Others laughed, shaking their heads a little. All fell silent for a moment.
Lavi looked down at Iron Hammer, felt what had once been Apocryphos tucked into his pocket. He looked over at Crown Clown, left eye seeing it clearly, right eye finding it hard to make out its form, what with all the golden particles swirling around it.
Junior spoke up, then, voice holding a sense of conviction to it. Remember earlier, when the Earl destroyed the Cube? None of it was destroyed, was it?
Realisation hit Lavi hard. He thought about it for a moment, mind pouring over his memories, everything he had ever been told about Innocence. Before anyone else could speak, he cut in, wavering conviction in his voice.
"When the Earl - the old Earl, I mean -" Lavi exchanged a glance with Allen, who shook his head a little with a smile "- destroyed the Cube, I don't think… I don't think all of that Innocence was actually destroyed."
Komui immediately cut in, eyes wide. "Sorry, what?!"
Lavi faltered, just about resisting the compulsion to raise a hand to the right side of his face. Nothing obscured what he bore, not anymore and in that moment he had to do what was needed. He found the right words, voice quiet but firm.
"When the Cube was destroyed, it's like I could… see the Innocence still. It's like…" he paused, struggled to think of the right words for a moment, before continuing "… it's like when the sun shines through a window, and you can see all the particles of dust floatin' around."
All was quiet for a moment before Bak spoke up, understanding flooding through him. "It's… like when Walker's Innocence was destroyed. Or… at least we thought it had been."
Allen remembered the particles of light, the connection he still felt to his Innocence, however faint it had been. He looked over at Lavi and wondered if that's what he could see with his right eye.
"If..." Komui's voice was quiet. His eyes were narrowed, gaze fixed on the floor beneath him. "If what you're saying is true, that means -"
Lavi nodded. "It's all still there. It's lost its physical form, but it's still there."
Tyki cut in, unable to hide the frustration in his voice. "I don't get it. What's the point? Even if it's not destroyed, you can't use it, so what's the - ?"
"We can use it." Lavi paused before continuing. "Or, I think I can anyway."
Tyki scowled. "Use it for what?"
Allen responded, voice quiet, almost incredulous. "To destroy our Noah Memory."
Silence filled the room. All looked at Lavi, who had to fight the urge to shrink away from the intensity of it. Allen thought it over, eyes narrowed, before Road's voice cut through the silence. All turned to look at her.
"The Heart was whole once. Innocence was never meant to be in pieces, separate from each other."
Lavi thought of the connection he felt, the thrum alongside his heartbeat, always present, all those pieces calling out for him. Apocryphos's voice rose up within his mind, reminding him of all that he had been fated to do, and he shuddered.
A thought occurred to him, though, that softened his feelings of dread. Lavi considered it for a moment before speaking, voice quiet, almost pensive.
"Knowin' all of that… I don't think anyone would Fall." Lavi looked down at his scarred hands, rubbing the stigmata with a sigh. "I mean… can't know for certain, but that goes for everythin', doesn't it?"
Silence filled the room, all doubtful and uncertain. Allen spoke up, a weary smile on his face.
"We don't know for certain, but…" he turned to Lavi, expression softening "… we have to try, don't we?"
Lavi met his gaze, saw the hope in Allen's eyes, and smiled. Allen gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before looking over at Road. Their eyes met, tentative hope in Allen's eyes, veiled dread in Road's.
"Could Lavi use the destroyed Innocence to destroy our Noah Memories? Would it work?"
Road hesitated for a moment, expression hard to read, before she replied. "I don't know."
Allen gave a frustrated sigh. "That doesn't help!"
Road huffed. "It's not like we've ever had to do this before, stupid! How can you expect me to -?"
"So, what you're proposing -" Komui's voice cut Road off "- is this. If we allow the remaining pieces of Innocence to be destroyed, Lavi will use the destroyed Innocence to rid you -" he gestured at Allen "- of your Noah Memory and everyone else's in turn."
Stunned silence befell the room. No-one spoke, not at first. Lenalee was the first to speak up, concern showing in her voice.
"But…" she fixed her gaze on Allen "… what will that do to you and Neah? And…" she looked at Lavi "… what about all the Innocence? How would you - ?"
"We'd destroy it, before we fully lost our Noah Memory."
Allen's voice was firm. He looked back at Crown Clown, who gave no sign of disagreeing with him. Lavi looked down for a moment, eyebrows furrowed, thinking it over, before a sudden sense of realisation sunk in. Panic and fear took a hold of him. He shook his head, grabbed Allen by the shoulders, and shook him a little.
"Wait! Wait, wait, wait. We can't."
Allen blinked. "Why?"
"Your - the hole in your heart! If your - if Crown Clown is destroyed, then wouldn't you…?"
Lavi couldn't continue, couldn't say it, but Allen knew what he meant. Allen raised a hand to his chest and then looked over at Crown Clown. He saw no fear in its faceless expression, felt nothing but calm acceptance coming from it.
Allen felt Neah beside him and thought of Mana, of Cross, of everything that had come to an end.
It wouldn't really change anything.
Neah's voice was quiet, subdued. Allen managed a shaky smile, trying to sound reassuring. "It's okay, Lavi."
Lavi shook his head. "No, it ain't! Don't pull that martyr bullshit on me. How can you just…?"
He stopped himself and ran his hands through his hair. Allen couldn't reply, moved by the emotion in Lavi's voice. He placed a hand on Lavi's shoulder, gripped by conflicting feelings of both acceptance and sheer and utter terror.
The room fell silent. In that silence, Tyki didn't at all understand how he was feeling. All he could do was laugh. Both Lavi and Allen turned to look at Tyki, who buried his hands in his hair, voice unsteady.
"What a stupid, shitty situation to be in." He raised himself up and Allen swore he saw genuine pain in Tyki's eyes. "Look, I -" Tyki made his way over to him, almost flustered "- maybe I can fix it. Just lemme -"
Allen shot him a look. "If you even try and stick your hand in my chest again, Tyki Mikk, I will kill you."
Not if I kill him first, Neah stated with absolute certainty, but Allen didn't respond. Tyki saw the acceptance in Allen's eyes, the veiled terror beneath, and groaned.
"Why are you such a self-sacrificing idiot?!"
"Exactly!"
Lavi raised himself up, met Tyki's gaze, and tried to ignore the awkward feeling of having agreed with him. Both turned to look at Allen, who raised a placating hand.
"Look, it's fine, honestly."
"How is it fine?!" Lavi shook Allen a little, unable to hide the emotion in his voice. "What if you die?! I can't do this if you're gonna die!"
Allen tried to reply, but Tyki cut in first. "Look, seriously, if you just let me check it out, maybe I can -"
"Stop!" Allen hadn't meant to shout, but his voice rose above all else. He clenched his hand into a fist, voice shaking. "There isn't another way! I'm not -" he choked up, tears coming to his eyes "- it's not like I want to die!"
That statement shattered something in Allen, and it shocked him. Years of living only for others - for Mana, his promise, the salvation of others - and it all came down to that one, simple truth. Allen couldn't stop the shaking of his limbs, the tears burning his eyes, the complete and utter fear of his own mortality.
Neah said nothing, thinking it over. What reason did he have to live now that it was all over? Mana was gone. Cross was gone. What reason did he have to keep going? But that thought was overshadowed by a deep feeling of fear, of knowing what it meant to die, as well as something else, something that tugged at Allen and Neah's heart.
Lavi pulled them into his arms, blinking back his own tears, and it moved them, the simple knowledge that they were loved, that they'd be missed.
Tyki moved back to his previous spot on the floor, trying to ignore the lump in his throat, the heavy feeling of guilt in his heart. Road placed a gentle hand on his own, which provided at least some sense of comfort.
From across the room, Lenalee got up and ran over to Lavi and Allen, pulling them both into her embrace. They buried their heads into her shoulders, arms wrapped around her, all gripped by fear, not wanting to think about the worst that could happen.
Link watched them and thought about duty, about fate. He looked down at the tattoo imprinted onto the skin of his hand, and clenched his hand into a fist.
Allen pulled away from Lavi and Lenalee with a sniff. He rubbed at his eyes, looked over at Crown Clown, and felt such a strong sense of connection with it that it moved him. Fighting back more tears, Allen firmly grasped Lavi's hand in his own. Lavi wiped away his own tears with his free hand before holding Lenalee's own, who sat down beside him.
Silence descended upon the room. It was on all of their minds now, about what it would mean to take the next step.
Tiedoll sighed, shaking his head a little. "We don't know if this will work."
Allen hesitated for a moment before replying, voice quiet. "I know. All we can do is have faith."
Tiedoll didn't respond. Faith had brought them this far - faith in their cause, in each other - and now it would have to take them that extra step forward. Uncertain, riddled with doubt, they would have to do something, one way or another.
Miranda looked down at her Innocence, expression contorted by pain. "If… if it's destroyed, what about…?"
Marie shook his head. "The lost time would return when you deactivated it. It wouldn't be any different."
Miranda sighed, hands clenched into fists. Kanda looked over at her and then looked away, a hand pressed against his chest. He could feel the dull ache of his tattoo, could remember the sharp pain of his sword embedded in his flesh.
Kanda hesitated, knowing it wasn't something he could hide, not any longer. He looked over at Lavi, saw the pain in his eyes, and sighed. He pushed himself up and made his way over to Lavi, Lenalee, and Allen. He gave Lenalee a pointed look.
"Don't be angry."
Lenalee blinked then shook her head a little. "The last time you said that, you drank your Innocence out of my hand, and my brother nearly killed you."
Allen scoffed at that. He looked up at Kanda, voice incredulous. "You did what?"
Kanda ignored him. He looked over at Miranda for a moment, at Marie, then back at Lenalee. Lavi already knew, could see it in Kanda's eyes, couldn't erase the memory of what he'd seen even if he wanted to. He let go of Lenalee's hand to wipe away tears he couldn't have held back if he'd tried.
Allen and Lenalee looked at him, concerned, a steady feeling of dread rising up within them. They looked up at Kanda.
"When Miranda's Innocence is destroyed, I won't make it."
Horrified silence consumed the room. Tiedoll, Marie, and Chaoji stood, shock flooding through them. Miranda bowed her head, every inch of her trembling.
Lenalee shook her head, tears coming to her eyes. "No. No."
The horror in Lenalee's voice made Kanda flinch a little. Allen faltered, unable to process it for a moment, before he let go of Lavi's hand and stood up. He met Kanda's gaze, hand shaking, desperation in his eyes.
"Kanda, you -"
Kanda sighed. "It's fine."
Allen shook his head, voice thick with emotion. "It's not fine! What -" he looked across the room, saw Marie, Tiedoll, and Chaoji crying, Miranda sobbing into her hands, and shook his head. "What about… what about Link?" Allen looked over at Link, saw the white in his hair, the trembling he couldn't hide, and felt guilt rise up like nausea. "Can't - can't he - ?"
"I'm already dead, Allen." Allen froze, wide-eyed. Kanda hesitated before continuing, expression softening. "Alma's been waiting long enough."
Kanda gave a weary smile and Allen knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he had wanted nothing more than to return to Alma's side ever since they parted. That realisation brought Allen to tears.
Lenalee reached for Kanda and pulled him into her embrace, sobbing into his shoulder. Kanda stroked the back of her head, smile falling.
Allen fell to his knees, grief threatening to claim his heart whole. Cross, Mana… how much more grief could he possibly take?
He thought of what was to come and knew it would be easier, in a way, if he didn't survive.
Allen turned to look at Lavi through his tears and felt his heart twist in his chest at the sight of him crying. Allen closed his eyes and drew solace from Neah's presence, who did nothing more than sit beside him within their mind.
Silence, broken only by the sounds of sobbing, choked breaths. Grief weighed heavily upon the shoulders of those who were going to lose someone, who could even lose themselves.
In that moment, Lavi knew that before joining the Order, he would have seen everyone in that room as a statistic; a death count in a history book no-one would ever read. Junior placed a comforting hand on Lavi's shoulder internally. Lavi tried to push the thought out of his mind.
He wiped away his tears, looked out across the room, and knew that everyone had come to the same conclusion. Whether it was with acceptance, resentment, or simple apathy, there was only one thing left that they could do.
Allen came to the same realisation, wiped away his tears, and looked over at Road. She met his gaze and walked over to him. She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, which he patted with a weak smile before speaking.
"The Arks, how do we…?"
"I'll take care of it, the factory too."
Road did her best to look reassuring, though Allen could see the veiled fear beneath. He nodded, and watched as she gave the other Noah a quick glance before leaving.
Kanda pulled away from Lenalee, gently placing her hands into her lap. He looked over at Lavi, at Allen, saw the conviction in their red-rimmed eyes, and nodded. He took out his sword, looked down at it for a moment, thought of all that he had lost because of it, and let it go.
He gave it to Allen, a firm look in his eyes that said without words what he wanted him to do. Allen remembered Cross before his death, the fading form of Judgement, and winced. He looked down at Kanda's Innocence and he hesitated. He knew what he had to do, but he couldn't take that step, not easily at least.
With a sigh, Neah took over. He exchanged a glance with Kanda, who shrugged, as if to say it didn't matter to him who did it in the end. Neah looked down at the Innocence in his hand, took in a deep breath, and called to the dark matter residing within him.
Mugen disintegrated in a flash of light. Kanda watched, eyes wide, unable to look away as his Innocence faded away. He felt an indescribable sense of relief, as if a weight long since carried had been taken off his shoulders. It moved him, enough for him to feel a lump in his throat, eyes stinging with unshed tears.
Lavi watched Kanda's Innocence become golden specks of light, floating around the room in sunbeams only he could see. He smiled, almost comforted by it. He watched Kanda wipe away his tears, saw the relief in his eyes, and knew it was right, what they were doing.
Kanda's reaction, the smile on Lavi's face, the knowledge that they wouldn't Fall - it motivated the others to follow Kanda's lead. Marie came first, offering Noel Organon to Neah with shaking hands. Tiedoll offered up Maker of Eden, not to Neah but to Lulubell. He gave her a hesitant smile, which she didn't return, though she complied nonetheless.
The irony of the situation wasn't lost on any of them. What the Noah had set out to do had come about, but not by their own will. The Black Order was no more. What had once been Innocence, weapons of destruction, became light, unseen by all but Lavi. He could feel a connection to the formless Innocence within his heart, which filled him with certainty.
Klaud made her way towards Tyki and faltered, cradling the monkey that had been her lifelong companion with a pained expression. Lau Shimin patiently detached Klaud's hands and jumped onto the floor. Tyki politely ignored Klaud's tears, raised a hand, and in a flash of light Lau Shimin disappeared.
Krory came next, meeting Jasdevi's eyes. Krory hesitated for a moment before sighing, remembering their battle from the Ark, the bitter irony of the situation. Jasdevi smirked - which made Krory seriously consider punching them in the face - before raising a hand. Dark matter flashed in their palm.
Krory coughed, choking. He opened his mouth, grasping at his throat, feeling his teeth disintegrate. He took a few haggard breaths before trying to speak, but he couldn't form the words. Without teeth, he couldn't talk, wouldn't be able to eat properly either. That realisation brought horrified tears to his eyes.
Lavi got up and pulled Krory into his arms, soothing his fear, his bitterness. Allen took over in an instant and got up to join him, hand placed on Krory's shaking back. He looked down at the stump where his left arm would normally be with a sigh.
A tentative hand pulled at Allen's shirt. Allen looked down to see Timothy by his side, fear and indecision in his eyes. Allen let go of Krory and knelt down, heart gripped by pity. Timothy was so young, about to lose something he had likely never come to grips with.
Timothy hesitated before speaking, voice wavering. "If… if I lose mine, what'll happen to… to Tsukikami?"
Allen remembered Timothy speaking of the spirit tied to his Innocence, and shook his head. "I don't know. I'm… I'm sorry."
Timothy didn't reply. He looked down, hands clenched into fists, teeth gritted. Allen felt empathy clutch at his heart, as well as a sudden sense of fear. Once he and Neah lost their Noah Memory, what would happen to Neah?
Neah heard Allen's thoughts and sighed. It won't matter if that hole in our heart kills us, will it?
Allen didn't respond, trying to ignore the dread rising up within him. The thought of dying scared him, but the thought of living without Neah scared him even more. Allen knew what it would do to Lavi too. He looked up at him to find Lavi gazing down at Timothy, expression pained.
They both knew what it was like to live alongside someone else, to share a mind and body with someone. To lose the people they'd spent months and years of their life beside… it would be agony.
Allen pulled Timothy into his arms. He felt him sob into his shoulder and sighed, eyes burning with tears. Lavi placed a hand on Timothy's shoulder, the hope and conviction he felt tainted by guilt.
Footsteps drew Allen and Timothy's attention. Klaud stepped forward, face tear-stained, and placed a gentle hand on Timothy's head. He wiped at his eyes, chest heaving, and met Klaud's eyes, then Allen's. He took in a deep breath, closed his eyes, and nodded.
Allen pressed his hand against Timothy's forehead. In a flash of light, the jewel there faded away into nothingness. Timothy's hair darkened, fading back into the brunette colour he had before his Innocence changed it.
Timothy tried to be strong, to be brave, but couldn't hide his tears. Klaud gave Allen a look before taking Timothy's hand into her own and urging him to the other side of the room. Allen watched them go, heart heavy.
He felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked up to see Krory offering him a tentative smile. Allen returned it, trying not to think about how hard it would be for Krory to adjust, to function without his Innocence.
How hard it would be for him to do the same.
Krory walked to the other side of the room and sat down beside Miranda, who was cradling her Innocence in her arms, dread etched into every line of her face. Allen felt grief rise within him, threatening to overwhelm him. Lavi's hand on his shoulder grounded him, urged him to push aside grief and fear.
Only a few accommodators were left. Allen looked over at Chaoji, who hadn't spoken a single word since his earlier outburst. He seemed shaken, skin pale, shoulders trembling. Allen made his way over to him, unable to feel anything but pity for him.
Their eyes met. Chaoji moved away from Allen a little, fear flashing in his eyes, before he relaxed. He shook his head, unable to speak, unable to voice what he felt. He hesitated for a moment before cursing, practically ripping off Arm of Baptism, and standing. He left the hall behind, and Allen watched him go with a heavy feeling in his heart.
Chaoji didn't see the destruction of his Innocence, but he felt it, a sudden weight lifted off of his shoulders. His sobs echoed through the ruined halls of the Black Order.
Only a few pieces remained. Lenalee and Lavi sat by Allen's side, Miranda close by. Lenalee and Lavi exchanged a glance before Lavi reached for something in his pocket. The shard of Innocence that had once been Apocryphos lay in his palm. He offered it to Allen with a smile.
"If anyone should destroy it, it should be you, right?"
Allen thought of what Apocryphos had told him, of the past that he could no longer remember, the life he had lived outside of his memories. He felt Neah stir beside him. Allen hesitated for a moment before calling to the dark matter within him.
In a flash of light, what had once been Apocryphos disintegrated into nothingness.
Lavi watched the Innocence fade away, right eye seeing the particles of light that it had become, his left eye seeing only darkness. He sighed, hesitating for a moment, before reaching for Iron Hammer
He felt his stigmata against the crystal, felt the dull ache in the centre of his palms that had never gone away. He thought of all that had come to pass - the sheer exhilaration of flight, fire and flames, Bookman's cooling corpse and his bloodied palms burning. He felt Junior's presence beside his own and knew it would be one of the hardest things they'd ever have to do.
Lavi closed his eyes, hands shaking, expression contorted by pain. Allen placed a gentle hand on Lavi's own. Lavi opened his eyes and saw fear in Allen's eyes, but there was conviction too; the radiant hope Allen had always held.
Lavi swallowed the lump in his throat, let the tears fall down his cheeks, and pressed his forehead against Allen's own.
Iron Hammer disappeared in a flash of light. Lavi opened his eyes and through his tears watched his Innocence become gold, floating in the air like dust under the warming light of the sun. He managed a shaky smile, wiped away his tears, and pressed a gentle kiss against Allen's cheek.
Both turned to look at Lenalee, who could look at nothing else but her Innocence, at the scars on her legs. Allen and Lavi reached for her hands, offering all that Lenalee needed in that moment; comfort.
With a sniff, Lenalee squeezed their hands before letting go and reaching for the rings around her ankles. She felt a presence behind her back and knew without looking that Komui was right there, by her side as he had been for many long years.
Ignoring the grief in her heart, tears spilling down her cheeks, Lenalee offered what had kept her shackled to the Black Order, to God, and let it go. She screwed her eyes shut.
Lenalee didn't see her Innocence be destroyed, but she felt it, like a weight had been removed from her shoulders, a pressure on her heart that simply wasn't there anymore. The sheer and utter relief of it overwhelmed her. She buried her head in her hands, chest heaving with sobs. Komui pulled her into his arms, face tear-stained, expression contorted by pity.
Allen and Lavi shared a glance before leaving the two of them to comfort one another. The next few steps were going to be the hardest, and it made it hard to keep going, to do what was needed.
Allen looked down at Miranda, saw the way she was shaking, and swallowed thickly. Krory and Marie were sat beside her, Marie's hand entwined with her own, Krory's hand on her shoulder. Kanda was nearby, eyes closed, so at ease that it was painful.
Miranda looked up, met Allen's gaze, and cried out. Allen knelt down and pulled her into his arms, eyes screwed shut, heart consumed by pity, by grief. Miranda buried her hands in his shirt, beside herself with fear, with pain.
In that moment, it felt as if her Innocence was more a curse than a blessing, but Allen knew, Lavi knew, all of them knew they were grateful to be able to say goodbye, to have had the chance to fight a little longer.
Allen smiled, voice thick with emotion. "Thank you, Miranda."
Miranda shook her head, unable to speak through her tears. She pulled away, shoulders shaking, looking down at her Innocence with a pained expression. Allen heard footsteps and looked up to see Kanda stood beside him.
Kanda reached down, placed a hand on Miranda's shoulder, and spoke, voice steady. "Thank you."
Miranda looked up, eyes wide. There was no fear in Kanda's eyes, no resentment or anger; only gratitude. Her expression crumpled, head bowed, chest heaving.
Kanda sat down. Lenalee reached for Kanda's free hand. Marie placed a hand on Kanda's shoulder, Tiedoll close by, face tear-stained. Lavi wrapped an arm around Kanda's middle, trying to hold back his tears.
Allen placed a hand over Miranda's Innocence, but he wasn't looking at her. Kanda met Allen's gaze, and he smiled. Allen couldn't return it, could do nothing more than let out a pained sob, trying not to look away. Allen felt Neah by his side, could feel an internal hand on his shoulder. Hand shaking, heart beset by grief, Allen faltered for a moment before closing his eyes.
In a flash of light, Time Record was no more.
Injuries returned in an instant. Kanda slumped to the floor. Lenalee tried to hold him up, chest heaving with sobs, but her own injuries made her lose her grip and fall to the floor, unconscious. Lavi swayed in place for a moment before collapsing, bloodied and broken. Allen's vision went hazy at the edges, body burning with injuries he'd forgotten about.
For a moment, all faded to black.
Allen woke to Link's weary face, a hand over his chest, Atuuda wrapped around his broken body. When his vision cleared enough for him to see properly, Allen realised, shock flooding through him, that Link's hair had gone completely white, face lined with years he had not lived.
Allen couldn't speak, heart twisting in his chest. Link met his gaze, sighed, and shook his head.
"It's alright." Allen tried to push himself up, but Link pushed him back down. Allen opened his mouth to speak, but Link cut him off. "This is all I can do now."
Allen froze, seeing the pain in Link's eyes, the weary conviction. Link got up, placed a hand on Allen's shoulder - his hand was shaking, couldn't stop shaking - and made his way to Lenalee, who was held firmly in Komui's arms, his tears falling onto her cheek.
Allen took a moment to close his eyes. He wasn't completely healed; his injuries still burned like fire, and he felt more exhausted than he'd ever felt. He looked over and saw Lavi, bent over Kanda's motionless form, sobbing into his blood-stained uniform. Grief threatened to consume him.
Too tired to cry, to move, Allen felt his eyes fall shut, heard Neah sigh within their mind, and all faded to black once more.
It was not Allen who awoke, many hours later.
Neah pushed himself up, raising a hand to his head with a groan. His whole body hurt. Injuries he didn't remember getting were bandaged up, the white fabric mottled by dried blood. He looked around him and saw others lying down, all injured, all bloodied and broken.
He turned and saw Crown Clown stood, shining in the dim light of the room. It nodded, as if in greeting. Neah placed a hand over his chest, sighed, and tried to stand. He almost immediately fell over, legs giving out on him. A hand gripped his own and helped him up. Neah looked up at Crown Clown, mask tilted as if it was smiling.
Neah sighed. "Thanks."
He looked around, not seeing Lavi in the room. Concern flared up within him. With Crown Clown's help, Neah limped his way out of the hall. He looked around at the rubble and dust, heart heavy. He nearly took a step forward but he felt something stir within him, something ancient and undying reaching out for its kin.
Neah turned and saw Road stood close by, facing him with a weary smile on her face. He managed a weak smile in return and urged Crown Clown to help him move forward.
Road patted Neah's arm before speaking. "The Arks are… well, we can't use them anymore."
Neah nodded. The emptiness in Road's eyes was almost unbearable to look at, so Neah focused his attention down the hall. He took a moment to catch his breath before raising his voice to speak.
"What about the Akuma?"
"They're… still on the Ark. They'll go when… when your Noah Memory does."
Neah nodded again, trying to ignore the dread in his heart. He hesitated before continuing to speak, almost afraid to ask.
"Where's Lavi?"
Road looked up, saw the concern in his eyes, the veiled fear beneath, and sighed. She gestured down the hall.
"He's not far."
Neah nodded. With Road and Crown Clown's help, he took a step forward, then two, three and forthwith towards an unknown end.
Neah felt Allen stir beside him. Allen didn't say a word, did nothing more than remain by Neah's side. Dread sat like a weight in the pit of their stomach. They were afraid, more afraid than they'd ever felt. In that moment, neither of them knew if they could keep walking, but they knew they had to.
They owed it to Mana, but not just him. They owed it to all who had lost their lives, and most importantly to themselves.
Eventually they reached a room open to the sky above. It was dark but close to dawn. The sky slowly brightened around them under the warming hand of the sun. Lavi was sat, looking up at the sky, covered in bandages. He turned when he heard footsteps.
Neah and Lavi's eyes met. Lavi tried his best to smile, but the dread in his eyes, the fear etched into his face, made it into more of a grimace.
Road grabbed hold of Neah's hand, pressed her face into his arm, and breathed out her words, voice wavering and thick with emotion.
"I'll… I'll be waiting for you."
Neah bowed his head, closed his eyes, and sighed. When Road pulled away, he managed a weak smile. He was in pain, he was exhausted, he was afraid, but he would keep walking. Road saw the conviction in his eyes and smiled through her tears.
Neah could feel Allen's presence beside his own. They both looked down at Road, heart twisting in their chest. Road faltered, unable to look away for a moment, before turning and walking away.
They watched her go for a moment before Neah gestured at Crown Clown to help him move forward. With a wince, Neah managed to sit down by Lavi's side. Neah pulled Lavi forward, head buried in his shoulder. Lavi wrapped his arms around him. They were both shaking, both struggling to push past their fear, the sheer and utter dread that dug its claws into their hearts.
Lavi pulled away. He looked tired, more tired than Neah had ever seen him look. Lavi raised his scarred hands to cradle Neah's face. Neah closed his eyes with a sigh, cherishing the warmth against his cheek.
Lavi pressed a gentle kiss against his lips, and nothing else mattered in the entire goddamn world. All his years on Earth, all the years he had spent fighting and running and hiding his heart behind wall after wall, came down to that one single moment.
Neah had never felt so loved and it hurt. He pulled away, head bowed, vision blurred by tears. Lavi gave a pained noise and pulled him into his arms, head buried in Neah's shoulder. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else mattered.
Allen's presence built. Neah watched as Allen pulled away, cradled Lavi's face, tears streaming down his cheeks. Allen kissed him, again and again and again, the salt taste of tears on his lips. Lavi pressed a hand against Allen's cheek, eyes screwed shut, forehead pressed against Allen's own.
"I… I don't…" Lavi shuddered, holding Allen tighter. "I really don't wanna do this."
The pain in Lavi's voice was unbearable, making Allen wince. He swallowed hard, voice thick with emotion.
"It'll… it'll be okay, Lavi." Allen's voice broke a little. "We'll be okay."
Lavi shook his head. "It's not okay. I -" he broke down, struggling to speak through his tears "- I love you both so much, I can't…"
Allen's eyes widened. A darkened graveyard flashed before his eyes, a mere mockery of a person, words that had imprinted themselves on his heart. Allen cried out, expression crumpling, pulling Lavi close.
He could feel Neah beside him, could feel the love they both felt for Lavi so strongly it hurt. Allen thought of everything he had gone through with Lavi over the many months they had spent together, memories flashing before his eyes; waking up to stew and Lavi's weary smile, bandaged hands in his own, arms around his back, tears and smiles and laughter. He buried his face in Lavi's shoulder, tears streaming down his face, words sobbed into the fabric of Lavi's shirt.
"We love you too. We love you so much."
Lavi could do nothing except for cry, pain and grief and love and everything he had carried within his heart for months beyond count pouring out among his tears.
In that moment, only the three of them existed, bound to each other beyond time, beyond love, beyond death itself. Soft, tentative light spilled over the crown of their heads. Lavi pulled away and memorised the way Allen's hair had been tinged pink by the dawn, the way his golden eyes caught the light, the shaky smile on his face.
In that moment, Allen shined brighter than any moment that had come before. All the hope that Allen held, the brightly shining determination that he carried within his heart; it could fade away, just like the light, just as Lavi had always feared. He felt his heart twist in his chest, the heart he had spent many unbearable, painful years wishing he didn't have.
He felt Junior's presence beside his own, and it comforted him, steadied him, prepared him for what came next. Lavi pressed his hand over Allen and Neah's heart, tears falling down his face and pattering upon the stone below.
Silence, tentative and fragile, enveloped them in its comforting embrace. Under the gentle light of the rising sun, they took one last wistful, pained look at each other before closing their eyes.
Lavi activated the Heart. He felt the tattoo arc across his skin, felt Eve's presence join his own. Lavi hesitated for a moment, face contorted by pain, before calling to the Innocence embedded deep in Allen and Neah's heart.
They opened their eyes, looked over at Crown Clown, mask tilted as if it was smiling, and watched as it faded away, particles of light shining like gold between Lavi's splayed fingertips.
Desperate, afraid, filled with painful, agonising longing, Lavi kissed Allen and Neah through his tears and removed the Innocence from their body.
Allen and Neah fell backwards, hitting the ground hard. Lavi got down on his knees and pressed the shard of Innocence against their chest, desperate and afraid, unable to take the next step. Allen and Neah grabbed his hand, expression pained, before they grasped their Innocence firmly between their fingertips and destroyed it.
What had once been Crown Clown dissipated into dust, aglow in the light of the rising dawn. Lavi felt something rise within him, a sense of unity, of being one. Eve's presence built. He could hear laughter, the garden that had haunted his dreams shining bright. A woman with dark hair and eyes stood. She was smiling at him through her tears.
Lavi could feel the destroyed Innocence around him - not destroyed, freed - could see it, shining like gold in the light, and felt as if he was finally whole.
With tears spilling down their cheeks, Allen and Neah raised themselves up and pulled Lavi into a tight embrace. Light built around them, white against black, Innocence and dark matter clashing together until they cancelled each other out.
In the soft light of the rising sun, Lavi watched Allen and Neah slump to one side, felt himself fall, and all faded to black.