CHAPTER 35
I look up at my husband who has been hovering around me ever since we got up this morning. After we had made love and he had told me how much he loved me and then made love to me again in the shower, he had come downstairs and made some coffee and toast while I got dressed and now he is just there. Silently letting me know that I have his love and his full support. My heart has swelled with feelings of being completely loved and protected by this wonderful man. I finish the last piece of toast and drink my coffee. Gideon takes the plate and mug away and then comes back and sits quietly with me.
"Thank you" I whisper to him and he kisses me.
"You don't have to thank me Angel. I'm your husband and it's my job, not to mention my honour to look after you" he says.
"You don't mind staying here with Maisie do you?" I ask, realising that I had just assumed he would stay and take care of her.
Gideon smiles at me, "Eva, you have made it clear that you don't want Maisie involved in any of this, that is why you didn't want them coming here, so stop asking me stupid questions. Of course I don't mind, we will be fine. You are going to meet this woman and her daughter, and you will have your gran with you… and I have to say, if I can't be there to protect you she is certainly the next best thing". He pauses, then looking carefully at me he speaks again, "How are you feeling and what do you make of all this?" he asks carefully.
I shake my head, "Truthfully? I have no fucking idea. My first thought was, does Jack have something to do with this? You know considering all the other shit he has recently caused, but then it just could be one of those weird coincidences".
Gideon thinks about that, "But you don't think it is?" he asks carefully.
I shrug, "I just don't know, but life up to this point has taught me to be cynical. I'm not going into this thinking that this is all totally innocent. I'm not that stupid. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to hear this woman out and find out what she wants from me and why she turned up here at nearly nine o clock on Boxing Day night, but I'm not going to blindly believe every word she says".
I rest my head on Gideon's shoulder and he holds me tightly, "I just wish all this shit would go away, I bet you are wishing you'd never met me, all the drama that has landed on you recently" I say.
Gideon pushes me away from him and grips my shoulders tightly almost to the point of pain, "Look at me Eva" he snaps.
I look up in surprise at the sharp tone, "Never ever, ever say anything like that. I love you and I would never regret meeting, marrying and loving you. Do you understand me? So never ever make stupid comments like that again" he says.
I feel tears building and I nod, "I'm sorry" I whisper, and he pulls me roughly to his chest and kisses my head.
"Never ever question our love or my commitment to you" he says in a slightly calmer softer tone.
"I won't" I whisper, as I grip his t shirt and feel loved and protected within his strong arms.
He sighs again, "You should know, while you are gone I am going to call Charles and get him to organise the DNA tests for you all. I promised Vic I would set the ball rolling as soon as Christmas was out of the way, as if this has shown anything it is that this needs to be done sooner rather than later for everyone's piece of mind, and hopefully Charles will be able to pull a few strings and get it done quicker than if I did it" he says.
"Thank you" I say again.
I look up at Gideon and it is clear he wants to say more, "With everything that has come to light I am going to ask him to request not only a paternal DNA for Vic but also sibling DNA for extra confirmation and clarification for you all to lay Vic's mind to rest once and for all that his boys are all his, so the ideal outcome would be that he is their father and obviously not yours, and they would all be full siblings and you would be their half-sister which is what was always assumed until recently, but obviously if Vic isn't Kyle's dad then it would also give confirmation that Jack is his dad as he would then be a full sibling with you, but that would be the worst case outcome" he says.
"It's all a fucking mess. Sometimes I just wish Jack hadn't turned up again, as there is a lot to be said for ignorance is bliss!" I say.
oooOOOooo
Eventually the time comes for me to leave to meet gran and walk down to the retail park; I take a deep breath and give Gideon a brave smile.
"Ready?" he asks.
I nod, "As I'll ever be" I reply. I turn towards Maisie who has her nose in her book and is sitting quietly reading on the sofa.
"I have to go out for a while, you be a good girl for daddy ok?" I say.
Maisie looks up and nods, "Ok, where are you going?" she asks.
"I just have a couple of things that I have to go and do with gran-gran" I say. Maisie nods again accepting my explanation and returns her attention back to her book. I grab my phone and push it into the back pocket of my jeans and then grab my keys and my bag.
Gideon follows me out into the hallway and I pull on my new thick winter coat that he had bought me when we were in Paris.
He gives me another hug and presses a small kiss to my lips.
"Ok, good luck, I'm sure it will be fine. You'll have your gran with you, and I'll be right here waiting when you get back" he says.
I take a deep breath and reach up and touch his face, "I don't know what I would do without you" I say.
He grasps my hand and turning his head he kisses my fingers, "You'll never have to find out" he says.
I grab my gloves off the small hallway table and after pausing to put them on I open the front door. I turn to look at Gideon once more, "I'll see you in a bit" I say.
"Ok, good luck," he repeats.
I make the short walk across the park to Gran's house, it's bitterly cold and I'm thankful for the thick warm coat as the wind is cutting through my exposed skin on my face, so I pick up my pace to get there quicker. As I turn on to the estate I feel something and look up to see a few snow flurries and I smile, the first snow of winter. Shame it didn't come a couple of days earlier and we could've had a white Christmas.
Gran is waiting for me when I arrive, "Are we going now?" she asks and I nod.
"Yeah, by the time we have walked down there it will be about 10 o clock" I say.
I watch as gran peers past me, "Is it snowing?" she asks as another odd flurry of snow drifts past us.
"Yeah and it's fucking freezing so wrap up warm" I say.
Granddad appears behind gran with an odd expression on his face, "Be careful" he says.
I nod, "Yeah, we will" I say.
I link my arm through Gran's as we make our way down the hill to the retail park, I spot the woman and her daughter as soon as the retail park comes into view.
"There they are" I say nodding towards them. Gran looks and her mouth drops open as she clearly recognises them.
"What's up?" I ask immediately on alert at her reaction.
"That is Jessica Bailey, she used to live on the estate with her family she's a couple of years younger than Monny" she says.
They see me approaching and I watch as the older one looks hard at Gran, almost as though she recognises her but can't place her.
"Hello" she says kindly to me as soon as we get close.
"Hi, this is my gran, Sandra Trammel" I say as I wave in gran's direction.
The woman looks hard at her, "I'm sorry but I think I know you from somewhere" she says quietly.
Gran nods, "You do, you are Jessica Bailey. Your family used to live next door but one to us, you are a couple of years younger than my daughter Monica" she says.
Realisation dawns on her face, "Oh my god, yes I remember now, how is Monica? Wait, so you…you are Eva's gran, so that means…?" she looks at me and I quickly fill in the blanks.
"Yep, Monica is my mum and she was stupid enough to sleep with Jack which resulted in me" I say dismissively.
"So… how old are you, if you don't mind me asking Eva?" Jessica asks.
"I've just turned 20" I say, and I can see her doing the maths in her head so I save her the bother. "Mum was 15 when she had me" I say abruptly.
She nods, "I was 17 when I had Sarah" she says quietly.
I turn to Sarah who is looking carefully at me, "Has he ever bothered with you, Jack I mean?" I ask her.
She nods, "Yes, mum and dad aren't together anymore but I see him regularly and have done all my life" she says, which not only surprises the hell out of me but also puts me on my guard that Jack could definitely be behind this.
"Shall we go and sit down and have a coffee?" I ask pointing to the Costa. We all troop inside and I remember the last time I was here, meeting Gideon's dad for the first time, a few months ago.
We sit down and I get coffee for myself and gran and Jessica gets some for her and Sarah. I take a moment to think just how much my life has changed now by that simple act, as I didn't bat an eye at the inflated cost of two mugs of coffee whereas the first time I was here I baulked at the price of just one. Gran has found us a table in the corner out of the way and I see she is talking to Sarah as we approach.
"Here you go gran," I say as I drop the mug in front of her.
"Thanks love" she says gratefully as she takes a sip.
I don't beat around the bush and get straight to the point after I have taken a sip of my own coffee. "So, what do you want? Why has it taken you 16 years to bother looking and why now?" I ask.
Jessica sighs, and goes to speak but I raise my hand to stop her as the revelation that he sees this daughter makes me wonder if he has instigated this fond reunion as a way to try and cause more trouble. "Sorry and one more thing, she said he bothered with her and she sees him regularly, so I need to know does Jack the twat, have anything to do with this long lost reunion?" I ask sarcastically, nodding towards Sarah.
Jessica looks at me carefully, obviously noting my less than positive reaction and nicknaming of my biological father. "Jack told us all about you, he was always open with the fact he already had a daughter who he didn't see. He said he was young and stupid and as a result he had made some bad decisions and he genuinely regretted the fact he walked away and he wished that things could have been different".
I snort rudely and shake my head, not believing a word of it and I hear my gran make an equally rude sound and almost choke on her coffee at that statement.
"Bullshit" Gran mutters between coughs and I try and suppress a smile at that remark and return my attention back to Jessica.
"You haven't answered my question; I asked if he has anything to do with this? You see, it just seems a little bit like convenient timing with you two turning up here unannounced after the stunt he pulled a couple of weeks ago" I say, but I know now that he did because how else would they know where to find me.
Jessica glances at Sarah and Sarah now leans towards me and speaks for the first time. "Dad just wants to get to know you" she says.
I shake my head, "I fucking knew it!" I spit and slam my mug down hard which causes some coffee to spill; I look at my gran who is now shaking her head sadly while Sarah just looks startled by my outburst.
Jessica looks confused by my violent reaction, "I don't understand? Jack and I are no longer together, we separated when Sarah was five, but Sarah has always had a relationship with him. I have always known about you and recently he has been telling her about you. He felt she was old enough now to handle the fact she has a half-sister. He told her that she has a sister and how he lost contact with you and he wishes things could have been different, so she offered to approach you for him to see if bridges could be built".
I snort again, "The only bridge I want to build is one to push him off of… preferably with a long drop after what he has done recently!" I say and then another part of what she said replays in my mind, "Wait you say you separated when Sarah was five, she's 16 now?" I clarify.
"Yes?" Jessica says and I look at gran who has already realised where I am going with this.
"Take five from sixteen and what are you left with?" I say to gran with my eyebrows raised in question.
"Eleven" she says knowingly.
Jessica looks totally confused now and Sarah is looking from me to gran and back again.
I bite my lip with a tinge of regret as if he has been a good dad to her I really don't want to destroy her view of him but they also need to know that they are being played and definitely used.
I lean forward and sigh in resignation, "Look, there is no easy way to say this, but he's using you" I say.
Jessica looks shocked and Sarah shakes her head and goes to protest, but I hold up my hand to stop her.
"Just listen to what I have to say, and what has happened to me throughout my life and compare that to what Jack did recently and then you can make up your own mind on whether or not he is dad of the year. You might still think he is, but hopefully it will also make you understand why I think the way I do about him" I say.
Jessica nods, "Alright" she says.
Gran reaches for me and holds my hand as I begin and I turn and smile gratefully at her and squeeze her hand gently.
"My mum was 15 when she had me, she told him she was pregnant and he buggered off pretty much straight away. He didn't support her through the pregnancy and wasn't there at my birth. The first time he saw me I was 6 months old and he turned up unannounced and then stayed for about 10 minutes and then he went. I was too young to remember that visit and I have no idea why he chose that point in time to show his face".
Gran coughs and speaks at this point. "I do, I can answer that. Monny had just met someone, and he was suffering from dog in the manger syndrome. She had moved on and he didn't want her but didn't want anyone else to have her so he came to try and get in her head again. He wasn't bothered about you; he just didn't want her to be with anyone else" she says.
I shake my head, as that all tallies with his actions that have recently come to light when she got with Vic and the ramifications we are now facing as a result. Then another thought occurs to me. Is that the reason why she had a revolving door of relationships with men when I was little? Did he come and mess with her mind every time she tried to move on with someone else? I put this theory to gran and she nods sadly, confirming it for me. Well now I know, I sit back in my chair as the shock of that fills me, as the repercussions of everything in my life to this point are laid out before me. He not only messed with my mum's head he messed with mine too. As that experience of men wandering in and out of mums life and little stability when I was little had left me with massive trust issues, and that, compounded by the games Meg used to play when she took friends from me made me cling to Nathan and believe him for much longer than I should have and that had gone on to fuck up my daughters mind. I quickly try and pull myself together and push aside this massive revelation as I carry on with my story.
"Anyway, where was I… The next time he saw me I was 16 years old. I had just got a job at Cross Industries as an order picker and I had got my own flat here on the estate and by this point I too was a single mum. I had just had my daughter. Jack turned up out of the blue making all sorts of promises how he wanted to be in my life. How he was sorry and how everything was going to change and he was going to be a proper dad, my daughter would have a granddad and how it was all going to be wonderful. But guess what? That was the first and last time I properly met him. All his talk and his promises, it was all bullshit and my theory for why that is, is he only showed up then because he had heard I had got my own flat and a job and he came sniffing round to see if he could leach off me. But when he realised that wasn't going to be an option for him as I was only just making ends meet, he decided I wasn't worth it and he buggered off again".
I pause and take another drink of my coffee and Both Jessica and Sarah look stunned by what I have said so far, Sarah opens her mouth to speak once more.
"I haven't finished yet" I say, and she closes her mouth again.
I turn to Jessica, "You say you split with him when Sarah was five? I'll just ask you this one thing, did you see it coming, was it inevitable or was it a bolt from the blue?" I ask.
Jessica looks surprised by my question, "Well, it was quite a surprise, he had never shown any indication of being unhappy but with hindsight, maybe, he seemed to pull away from me for a time leading up to the eventual split" she says.
I nod, "For a time? How long, about nine/ten months, no say about a year or so before?" I ask casually.
Jessica's eyes widen at that and she nods. "Yes, I think it probably was, but how would you know that?" she asks.
I shake my head and let out a small mirthless laugh. "Shit, I fucking hate being right" I say bitterly as Jessica and Sarah just look blankly at me.
I sigh deeply, "Well, you see now comes the best bit of the story" I say sarcastically. "Just before Christmas, while I was on honeymoon actually, Jack approached my eleven-year-old brother Kyle and he dropped a bomb right into his world and destroyed it when he told him he was his dad. Now just think about that, my brother gets approached by a complete stranger who tells him he is his dad – that is enough to fuck with anyone's mind but my brother is a child, it was just wrong what he did. But more importantly, for you and to put some context into what we have established is the timeline for you, my brother Kyle is eleven your daughter is sixteen so when Kyle was born she was…?" I wave my hand at her and her mouth drops open.
"Oh my god, she was five, so he left us when Kyle was born?" she says.
"Yep, and just to clarify so you are really certain of the timeline here, Vic got with my mum about a year before Kyle was born – so that would be around the time Jack the twat started pulling away from you, probably because once again he didn't like it that my mum was getting her life together and moving on with someone else. But this time it was serious and thankfully mum chose Vic although she then lied to him for eleven years about cheating on him with Jack" I say with a shrug.
Jessica shakes her head, and her mouth is opening and shutting like a goldfish and she looks shattered by what she has just heard.
"Oh it gets better" I say, "This little announcement of his that he has made declaring he is Kyle's dad has completely decimated my family, as Kyle was always under the impression my step-dad Vic was his dad, and needless to say dad isn't too thrilled about this revelation either". I pause again, "But do you want to hear the cherry on the top bit so to speak?" I say unable now to reign in my sarcasm as everything has become totally clear to me. Jessica looks horrified now and Sarah just looks dumbstruck.
"We are all certain he has only done all this now because I have recently got married, as we think it was no coincidence, he dropped this bombshell while I was on honeymoon. That and the fact that I got married to a man who is quite wealthy and successful. We are all certain that the fact that waste of fucking space has shown up now and I have got married is no coincidence at all, and I say to you that is why he has been manipulating Sarah to get in touch with me as well".
"I wasn't manipulated, dad wouldn't do that" she splutters angrily, she has tears in her eyes and she looks devastated, but he is her dad so I can understand why she is still defending him.
I shake my head, "Tell me Sarah when did you first learn all about me, when did daddy dearest spill his guts to you about his long-lost elder daughter?" I spit.
She pauses and thinks… "Erm, about November time, not too long ago" she says.
I let out another humourless laugh, "Ding ding ding, we have a winner!" I say with mocking triumph. I lean towards Sarah, "Do you want to know what happened in November Sarah? Do you? I gave up my council flat and moved in with my now husband and he also proposed to me in November, so I think that says it all, don't you?"
She looks completely dumbfounded by that and I look at her sympathetically. I lose the attitude and speak to her kindly now, "So yes Sarah you were used, you were manipulated and used for Jack's own selfish agenda. Trust me, Jack the twat is a complete manipulative bastard. I mean let's look at all the evidence, he left mum high and dry and yet he managed to get into her head and ruin every relationship she started afterwards, until she met my dad but even then he got my mum to open her legs for him again despite the way he previously treated her by promising her the earth. I don't condone what she did and I don't deny my mum was equally to blame as she shouldn't have been so bloody stupid and she should have told him to sling his hook especially when she was finally in a stable relationship with Vic, and not believed his crap again. But you have to remember she was still pretty young back then too and she did believe it, plus common sense has never been a strong quality in my mum! Then he came to me when I was 16 and I believed him too for a short while until it became obvious that all that came out of his mouth was complete bullshit".
Sarah shakes her head again she is clearly in denial about this, and I feel sorry for her. She obviously thinks he is a good dad and I'm just a bitter and twisted bitch, so I recall the things he said to me back on that one occasion he came to see me. I hold up my hand once more and address Sarah directly.
"Let me guess what he said to you to persuade you to come and find me, did it go something along the lines of, I so regret not being in Eva's life and missing her grow up. I wish things could have been different. But it's not too late, will you help me? Why don't you approach her and let her know who you are and open the way for me, would you do that for me?" I pause and look at Sarah, "Did it go something like that?" I ask.
The look on her face says everything and I sigh, not happy that I'm right once again and by being right I am destroying the view she has of her dad.
"Sarah, I know he's your dad and it's great that you have had him in your life, and you clearly don't think he's a complete tosser. I don't begrudge you that for one moment, I am happy you have a better opinion of him than I do. But you need to know that most of what I just said was what he said to me when I was 16. He said he regretted not being in my life, he said he regretted not seeing me grow up and he wished things could have been different and that it wasn't too late and he said he wanted to get to know me and make a fresh start. He said those things and it was all a pack of lies because after that day I have never laid eyes on him again. He manipulated me and I believed it then so if you have had him all your life and think the sun shines out of his arse it's obvious you are going to believe him and defend him but all that shit about regrets that he doesn't know me is just that, bullshit. As he hasn't given a damn about me and he has manipulated you into believing he does. It's obvious by the way you defended him I guessed immediately he had asked you to do this and probably had said something similar to you to make you feel obliged to do this for him. I don't blame you, you thought that you were doing something nice for your dad" I say. I drink the rest of my coffee and place my mug on the table.
Gran speaks again, "I just find it ironic that the girl who hasn't had a relationship with him is the one who has his number and is the one who knows him best!"
I smile at that assessment and then continue to speak to Sarah who seems to be slowly realising that what we are saying is right, "Jack maybe your dad and as I say that's really great, I am happy for you, but he's not mine. Vic is the only real dad I have ever known, he is the man who has always been there for me for the majority of my life," I pause as I recall Maisie's words about Gideon and I use them as they are relevant right now, "He is everything a real dad should be, which is why I call him dad. Jack is just the sperm donor, and I don't want to know him not just because he hasn't given a damn about me but because he has just decimated my family with his claims that he could also be Kyle's dad. He has hurt my dad, he has hurt my brother and he has damaged my mum's relationship with my dad. So why would I want anything to do with someone like that? He has never even given me the time of day but has tried throughout my life to destroy my mum's happiness every time she met someone and has now tried to destroy my entire family. He is only trying to worm his way in because I have married someone with money and he thinks that might be of some advantage to him. That fact I can't prove but I am fairly certain about. I believe that he is seeing pound signs, not a relationship with me which quite frankly, is just sick".
I finish speaking and look at Sarah and Jessica. Sarah looks devastated, and Jessica just looks shell shocked.
"I had no idea" Jessica says at last.
I shrug, "No, I bet he didn't tell you all that did he when he was being open and honest with you about me" I say bitterly.
I stand up as I don't see the point of continuing this any longer and I would sooner be back home with my husband and daughter. "Anyway, it was nice meeting you both. I'm sorry you have both been used the way you have, and that you have had a wasted journey but I'm not interested. As I said to my husband when we discussed my family, as far as I am concerned if Jack were on fire, I wouldn't piss on him to put him out – and you can tell him that if you like!" I say with a grin. I turn to my gran who is trying to suppress her smile.
"I'm done here, shall we go home gran?" I ask as I pull on my coat and pick up my bag and gloves. Gran nods and rises to her feet.
"Wait!" Sarah shouts, I pause and turn towards her.
"But we are still sisters?" she says hopefully, "And if dad is your brother's dad as well, that means I also have a brother?" she adds.
I lean towards her, "That hasn't been confirmed as fact yet, we are in the process of getting confirmation as to who Kyle's dad is and you never know he might be lucky and dodge a bullet. He might find out Vic is his dad after all, just like he has assumed he is all his life, because let me make this really clear for you. Vic is his dad and always will be, as Jack the twat never even gave him a thought in all the time he has been alive until I got married" I say.
"But" she says again.
I shake my head, I am rapidly losing patience here as I am wondering why she is prolonging this and refusing to see the truth about her dad. "Look you are probably a really lovely person and I'm sorry but I just can't trust you or your motives. I don't know if you want to know me because you are my sister or as I strongly suspect, because you are being manipulated by Jack into doing so to create an opening for him. I do not want to know him, I do not want him in my life, my husband's life or my daughter's life. I can't make it any clearer than that to you, so I suggest you go back to wherever you came from and forget you ever met us" I say.
"But you are my sister" she says again almost desperately.
I laugh, "No I'm not, your dad just happens to be my sperm donor, we share a bit of his crappy DNA, that is all nothing more" I say.
"Eva" I freeze at the voice and spin on the spot as I lay eyes on Jack for the first time in four years.
He takes a step towards me, grinning at me. I realise in a rush exactly why she was trying to keep me here and talking now and the anger surges through me and I turn towards Jessica and Sarah.
"Did you engineer this, did you tell him we would be here? Is that why you tried to keep me here talking when I said I was done?" I spit viciously. I watch as they both shrink back in their seats.
I feel my gran touch my arm and whisper my name in my ear, telling me to calm down. But I am furious that they have done this.
Jessica shakes her head but Sarah looks defiant and almost smug, Jessica stares at her and I see the moment she realises the truth.
I point at her, "You did this," I spit, and she nods.
"I love my dad so I called him and told him we were meeting you here today, he told me to keep you here till he managed to get here" she brags as if what she did was incredibly clever.
I lean towards her, the anger spilling from me, "Well you definitely are your daddy's daughter aren't you!" I hiss. I watch as her eyes widen in fear at that.
I turn to my gran, who is trying to pull me away and is repeatedly telling me to calm down.
"Come on gran we are leaving" I say. As I try and walk past Jack I give him a derisive look. "Get out of my way dickhead" I spit and I see him stiffen at my words, but he doesn't move and as I push past him he makes the mistake of grabbing my arm to stop me. The anger at being tricked into seeing him along with a surge of panic of being restrained against my will makes me snap completely and lose what last bit of self-control I am clinging to.
"GET THE FUCK OFF ME, LET ME GO!" I yell at the top of my voice which causes the whole coffee shop to fall silent, and everyone in it to turn and look and before I realise what I am doing my other hand comes up and I punch Jack squarely in the face and I stamp on his foot. His surprise at being hit makes him weaken his grip on me and so I wrench my arm out of his grasp and after shoving him roughly aside I stalk out of the shop.
When I get outside, I am still panicking and I feel like I can't breathe. I realise I am having a full-blown anxiety attack after Jack grabbed me and I am now shaking from head to foot, as I lean my hand against the wall the cold air hits me. I pause and I realise I am hyperventilating. I feel a hand on me and I jump violently again.
"It's ok sweetheart it's only me, come on calm down… breathe slowly or you're going to pass out" gran says gently. I nod and try and bring my breathing under control.
As we stand there and I try and pull myself together I am still pretty out of it but I vaguely realise Gran is talking and I realise she must be on the phone, but after a moment she speaks to me.
"Come on let's get you home" she says and she wraps her arm around me.
I nod and we move away from the retail park and towards the estate. I have no idea who she was talking to, but it all becomes apparent by the time we get to the park and striding quickly towards us is Gideon.
"Gideon" I gasp as I run towards him and fall into his arms.
"Eva are you ok?" he asks as he engulfs me in his arms.
I nod, "I just want to go home" I whisper, then I remember Maisie and I look up at Gideon, "Maisie?" I ask.
He holds up his hand, "Maisie is absolutely fine, Tez turned up a few moments ago as your gran called him and told him to come and sit with Maisie so I could come to you, to get you" he explains.
"Oh ok" I say lamely.
Gideon smiles, "He ran all the way to our house" he says with a tone of quiet respect.
That doesn't surprise me, granddad is a very fit man and has kept in shape and kept fit ever since he left the army.
We walk back to our house and granddad meets us at the door, he takes one look at me and goes to find Maisie.
"Maisie, do you fancy a trip to the park, to feed the ducks?" he calls.
I hear running feet and Maisie appears. "Hello mummy!" she says and then she sees gran, and squeals in delight, "Gran-gran are you coming to the park too?" she asks.
I watch as Gran's face fills with a huge loving smile, "I am" she says, "You need to wrap up warm as its really cold out there and it has even been trying to snow at times" she says. Maisie nods and obediently goes to fetch her coat.
I grasp my gran's arm and quietly thank her for coming, and I mouth the words thank you to granddad too, they both nod and pat my arm reassuringly as they lead my daughter from the house, while I start to feel more than a little bit embarrassed by my overreaction and meltdown.
Gideon walks up to me and wraps his arm around me, "Come on, let's go and sit down and you can tell me everything" he says.