A/N: Here we are. The final chapter. Give me a second…
*pop*
(Gah! Where am I? - Koei)
Hey.
(Oh Goddesses… - Koei)
I wanted to give you an ending you deserved, but before that… As I gave Neptune the chance to read the mailbag before, want to read the final batch for me?
(... Okay. - Koei)
Awesome. Over to you, my friend.
(So… Here we are.
Ryan4ever2016: I'm sure the author loved writing it as much as you did reading. My adventures in Gamindustri might be coming to an end, but at the same time, I'm okay with that. A nice, idyllic life sounds good to me.
Incognito Doom: All good trainwrecks must stop burning eventually. It seems we're finally approaching our last stop. It is bittersweet to know that my adventure is over, but satisfying at the same time.
Adstradea: Iffy… Regardless, this last act has been hell for me. But I know one thing. I did the right thing by sparing Uzume. Even if I lose Iffy forever, I know in my heart that I could give everyone a second chance.
…
…
Alright, I'm done. - Koei)
Thanks mate.
(Before I go back… - Koei)
Hmm?
(I want to sort of thank you? It's weird to be thanking your own creator, but… - Koei)
No thanks are needed. This served as a great outlet. Been a pleasure writing you.
(Been a pleasure being your meat puppet? Fuck if I know... Can I go back to drinking now? - Koei)
Aye…
*pop*
Alright. One final chapter. See you on the other side, my friends.
"Oh Koei, heroes aren't born."
…
"Fuck. You. You're no boyfriend of mine."
…
"The sigh of defeat… Knowing that all of Planeptune will watch you die."
…
"You're the protagonist, Koei. It's inevitable that you'll face some struggles."
…
"Uh Koei? You to have an... aura about you."
…
"Everything will be alright once you embrace your destiny."
Hclegend presents:
Sociopath With a Spellblade: The Epilogue
New Game, New Life!
I gasped for breath as I woke up, the machine that connected me to Uzume's consciousness finally off as I fell out with a thud. Feeling around my body, I was shocked to see that my scars from the last few fights were gone. My wound from my first encounter with Noire was there obviously, but the ones I gained from Uzume and IF…
Shit, Uzume! Rushing over to the pod that contained her, I pulled open the door as the former goddess breathed for the first time in years.
The first thing I heard after waking up was the sound of a door opening as bright light flooded in and I took my first breath, my body defrosting at a rapid rate as I looked down at my gloves.
This was… Reality.
"You doin' alright? "Koei asked, a worried look on his face as I shook my head.
"Yeah, just getting used to real life again. I'll step out in a minute… Go tell Histoire I'm home."
He nodded before rushing off as I mentally prepared myself for the reunion with the Oracle. The tiny girl who stole my heart.
I rushed up the stairs, back to the chamber that housed Progression, out the door and up the elevator as i looked around for Histoire. But found no such book fairy.
Running up and down the place, I did however bump into a very peeved looking Compa, blocking the door to the bedroom I called my own. "Koei." Was all she said as I gulped. I just came back too!
"Look, Compa… I need to see Histoire." I told her the truth.
"She's talking with Iffy. I don't care if she prayed for your safety, I'm not letting you break her heart again. You fucked with the wrong nurse."
I took a step back in surprise as the nurse actually dropped the f-bomb. "Y-yikes. Alright. I can wait out here."
She nodded and crossed her arms. "I'll make sure their conversation stays private. You may make yourself some tea while you wait."
Nodding, I did just that as I finally had a moment to sit down and relax, despite Compa's death glare. I had to compose myself, at least. I collapsed at the table, my legs ignoring my commands as I felt woozy, the memories of the last few days sorting themselves out as I put my head in my hands, a cup of tea made and sitting nearby.
"I really need to stop going into comas…" I mutter to myself as the elevator dinged and the former CPU stepped out, also woozy.
"Man, comas suck." Her tomboyish tone shined through as the edgelord walked towards me and sat down opposite me. "You don't look so hot yourself, Kosy."
"Kosy?" I raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, thought of it while I tried to find my way around. Along with a lot of other things… Mostly relating to Histoire." Uzume sighed. "You know in hindsight, this might have been a bad idea…"
I patted her shoulder. "Hey, I got girl troubles too. Compa over there is trying to make my head explode with a death glare while Histoire and iffy talk… I know she prayed for me, but I don't think I'm ready."
"Don't rush it." She said. "Talk to her when you think it's right. Preferably when Compsy's not around."
The nurse glared at Uzume. "The nickname is very nice, Uzu-Uzu." She said, tone unchanging. It was actually kind of freaky.
"Man, what happened to her?" Uzume reeled back a bit. "Looks like you wailed on her childhood friend or something."
I raised an eyebrow. "So when do I tell her it's your fault IF got into the state she did?"
"She WHAT!?" Compa yelled, storming over to the former goddess, who was terrified of the usually very nice Compa.
Despite being you know, an arch villain who plotted genocide, the scariest thing in the room was still Compa. That is actually kind of impressive.
"Well, judging from the noise in here, things are back to normal…" Histoire floated over as Uzume jumped up, nearly shoving Compa out of the way as she did so.
The Oracle and CPU stared each other down. It got real awkward, real fast. Eventually, Uzume spoke.
"Histoire… I'm home."
"HI HOME, I'M DAD!" IF yelled from the bedroom, causing all tension to fall apart as Compa pinched the bridge of her nose.
"At least she's sounding better." I mutter.
"Unfortunately… Her injuries were pretty severe. She'll be bedridden for several more days at least." Histoire broke the bad news as she floated in front of me. "While she's calmed down since the incident, I'd recommend not talking to her right away in case her condition worsens."
"Yeah I don't want to wake up in an ice bath missing my kidneys." I rub the back of my head nervously. "What happened to her, anyway? She seemed fine enough to slug me in the face."
"Mana Burnout. A pretty bad case at that..." Compa sighed, pulling out the medical record. "She only collapsed after she returned to the Basilicom with Big Nep-Nep. That combined with the injuries you caused." She seriously nearly killed me with that look. "Means that she'll be bedridden for a few days yet… I haven't told her about that, as I didn't want to cause her undue stress. Goddess knows she's felt awful about how she treated you."
I raised a hand. "Wait, if she's injured and bedridden, why am I fine, aside from the after effects of the coma?"
"Because everything that happened there was in my mind. While it felt real, it was still ultimately a dream." Uzume explained, taking a sip of tea. "As I had Neptune drag IF to Heart Dimension, her physical body was the one on the line, not a manifestation. Though either of us could have died from cardiac arrest if our manifestation died… So the stakes were still high."
I blinked. "Does that mean that Salvation-"
"Yeah, sorry. If we got out of Zero Dimension via Big Nepsy's NepNote, you could have kept it… and all your injuries." Uzume pointed out.
Fair point. "Alright, but back to the topic at hand… How's IF?"
"Better. Her hand is still healing up, along with her other injuries. Pretty much broke it slugging you in the face." Compa shook her head. "I would have done the same if you said that to me."
I sigh. "Not entirely undeserved, to be fair." I hold up a gloved hand to stop Compa before she could start a tirade. "I know you want to tear me a new asshole for what I did to her, but you have to understand… She wasn't herself. I had to defend myself at least."
"Possessed by my delusional energy." Uzume confessed, continuing to her own cup of tea. "If you want to blame anyone… Blame me. I'm why they fought."
Compa glared at the both of us. "I'm still livid with Ko-Ko, but causing him undue stress so soon after his fight with you… Would break my oath." She pinched the bridge of her nose again. "Alright… I'm going to go get some air and think things through." She stared at me one last time. "Try anything while I'm out and you'll find out why I'm called the Planeptune Butcher." Compa left me with that chilling thought.
"And she's your friend?" Uzume finally said after Compa was long out of earshot. "I know I was a genocide driven lunatic less than an hour ago… But she is something."
"You haven't even met the sadist yet." I chug my tea, once again forgetting that TEA IS HOT. Some things never change. "Well, Celestia should be open by now. I'mma go get hammered."
With that I promptly fucked off.
Opening the door to my favourite bar on the Citadel, Jill was cleaning out glasses as usual. "Oh hey, Koei!" She waved happily at me. "Saw what happened on the TV up there, can't believe you got run through by that nutjob…" As I gave her the stink-eye I sat down in my usual spot. "Shit the bed, you didn't kill her, did you?"
"Worse. I made friends with her. Get me a Beer… I'll tell you from the start. It's a long story that needs a lot of context."
One week and a retelling later...
I smiled as I finished my Beer and my story. "And thus, the grandiose tale of Koei Tech, the Sociopath With a Spellblade comes to a close."
"Huh. Solid A for effort… Bump that F to a B. Minus."
I shrug drunkenly. "Fuck it, close enough!"
"So you've been coming here for the last week to stay out of IF's way?" Jill continued to clean a glass. "Girl trouble… Sucks to be you."
"Ah well, if it doesn't work out, I got Uzume here." I pointed to the also drunken former Goddess.
"Right on, Kosy!" She slurred, clearly not able to handle her drink. "How many has she had?"
"Seven Pile Drivers. All on your… 25,353 Credit tab. Including interest and tax." Jill finally calculated as she examined her notebook. "I take cash or credit."
I sigh and hold out my UI Glove. "Good thing that saving the world gave me a huge payday from Histoire." I scanned the glove as the machine glowed a green light.
"Hot damn, I'll actually be able to eat this week!" Jill confirmed that my tab was in fact, paid off. "You truly are my favourite customer!"
I waved her off. "Whatever. But now that you know everything, what do you think I should do? I haven't talked to Iffy yet and as much as I like the apartment, that double bed is awfully lonely."
"Yet I sleep on the damn sofa..." Uzume muttered to herself, tanking her eighth Pile Driver of the night. "This shit's actually really good."
I looked at Jill. "Well, there's a 5pb. concert on tonight. Why not stop drinking here and go see her?"
I sigh "Because the seats were sold out while I was a fucking dream coma, thanks Uzume."
She shot a drunken thumbs up. I flipped the bird back.
"That and I know IF got a ticket, because Compa warned me she'd gut me like a fish if I went anyway…" I sighed.
Jill put the glass down and gave me a slap across the cheeks. "Ow."
"Snap outta it." She got back to her usual business. "That does not sound like the Koei Tech who just threw 25 grand at me. That sounds like a bitch who hasn't saved the world."
I stared her in the eyes while I continued rubbing my cheek. "If you want to win her back, you have to do something that the Koei Tech who took a fucking sword to the torso would do. Something so stupid, so needlessly reckless, so reta-"
"Yeah I get it. Grand gesture of love." I get up. "Could you make sure Uzume doesn't die of alcohol poisoning until I get back? Also, put on the TV while you're at it. I think they're broadcasting the concert." I walked out of the door, determination in my veins as I walked out into the Planeptune night.
It was time to win her back. The only way I knew how.
The Koei fucking Tech way.
Here we are… Planepark. Judging from the idol songs blasting, the concert was ongoing as I snuck into the back, taking out any Planeptune guards in my path as I made my way to the main stage.
Thankfully the spotlight was focused on the singer/guitarist herself as I grabbed her by the throat, wrapping my arm around her as I pulled Peace.
"ALRIGHT! Nobody moves or the idol dies!" I yell into the shocked crowd as a record scratch played. The four CPUs were into action, floating near the stage as Purple Heart recognized me and put a spandex-covered hand to her face.
"Oh my fucking god Koei… Of all the stupid shit…" She muttered as the other CPUs didn't move. Good, the hostage worked.
"Helena, it's alright. I'm bluffing." I whispered into her ear as I loosened my grip to let her talk.
"Uh, Koei? My headset is still on. You just told everyone my real name." 5pb. sweatdropped. "That and you just said that you were bluffing…"
SHIT. I quickly put Peace to her head. "Well, now I'm not! And don't think I don't see you coming, Cave!"
"Dammit." Was all she said before moving back into the shadows.
"Alright, we'll give." Purple Heart nodded as she put her sword away as she landed on stage. "What are your demands?"
"One song." Was all I said.
"I… What? Not money, or a helicopter or-"
"WHY ARE YOU GIVING HIM IDEAS?" White Heart yelled at her fellow goddess. "He's a fucking terrorist!"
"I am certainly terrified right now…" 5pb. muttered, to which the crowd nervously laughed.
I sighed, putting the gun back to 5pb.'s head. "Just… One song. I'll come quietly after that, I promise."
Purple Heart shrugged. "Your hostage situation. Just let the idol go."
I rolled my eyes. "Course I'm going to let her go. I was bluffing." I let the young idol go. "Ya got any mics?"
Nervously nodding, she pointed to a microphone on the floor, to which I walked up to and tapped, causing the speakers to echo the tap. Alright.
"This one's for you, Iffy."
(Current Song - I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing - Aerosmith)
As the instruments faded in, I mentally prepared myself as I looked at the crowd who were understandably a combination of scared, angry and confused.
I warbled on the first few notes due to nerves, but gained my composure before I got to the first verse. For obvious reasons, I can't actually show you what I sang…
But I can tell you everything else. To my shock, the crowd started to clap along after the first chorus, it triggered by someone on the front row. As I continued to belt out the greatest love song ever written, 5pb. joined in, playing her own guitar. I turned around in the middle of the second verse and well… It was a video of us. The moments we shared. The first time we met in Lowee…
As I got to the second chorus, it switched to us laughing and drinking in Celestia…
Then it switched to us fighting in Lowee with Blanc…
Our short "quest" in Planeptune…
Finishing the second chorus, it switched to our reunion in Ultradimension, complete with her slugging me in the face, much to the amusement of the crowd present.
Our Halloween party, including us fighting the zombified dragon… Wasn't that a drug trip?
When I got to the line about kissing, her peck on the cheek to me in Lowee, making us a thing.
As the bridge to the chorus started, it cut to our fight in Heart Dimension, I saw the grim resolve on my face as her unblinking eyes shed that single tear… I didn't need to see that to remember it clearly.
Turning around to avoid the grisly imagery, I used that feeling to run towards the edge of the stage, sliding on my knees as I fist-pumped to the drop to the third chorus.
Pyrotechnics went off as I stopped singing, letting 5pb. Do the final chorus herself. In my excitement I was trembling, sweating… And crying, knowing that I fucked up and was going to lose her forever after what I pulled.
As the song faded out, there was only silence. Then came the clapping of a single person. Others joined them as I panted, still on my knees, trembling like a leaf as the crowd started to cheer along with clapping.
Yup… Everyone was applauding domestic terroism. I love Planeptune.
As the applause died down, I heard her voice from behind me. "Koei…"
I got up and turned to IF, who had a death glare in her eyes as she approached me, spotlight on her. "Aside from being clearly intoxicated, you crashed an idol's stage show, commited domestic terrorism and caused a hostage situation, all so you could sing a fucking song to me?!"
Hoo boy. This was a mistake. She was face to face with me now. Her glare softened. Did it…
"That's the man I love." She pulled me into a hug as the crowd cheered again as I picked her up and span around, overjoyed at my insane stunt actually working.
"Well… I missed you baby. And I didn't wanna miss a thing." Quoting the song I just commited ruining my reputation for.
"That'll get us DMCA'd." Purple Heart sighed as we seperated, now holding hands, much to IF's embarrassment. "Koei… You're facing serious crimes here with that stunt you just pulled. And I can't just let you get away with it because you saved Planeptune… That sets a bad precedent on us all."
IF sighed. "I have to agree. It's a lovely gesture… But it wasn't worth it."
"I vote to overlook this." Green Heart stated, having White Heart in her arms. "If I was in the same situation with my darling Blanny…"
"Don't get me wrong," White Heart was blushing from her nickname being used. "What he did was absolutely the dumbest fucking thing… But he commited domestic terrorism to win back the girl he loves. You gotta respect that he did all this just for her..."
"Love makes people do crazy things." I rubbed the back of my head with my free hand.
"Are you two as drunk as he is?" Purple Heart argued back. "Were we watching the same fucking hostage situation?"
"Neptune… I can't believe I'm actually saying this…" Black Heart facepalmed, clearly not comfortable with what she was about to say. "But get that stick out of your ass. I'm with the other two on this."
"I… FUCKING SERIOUSLY NOIRE? You give me shit day in, day out about doing my job properly and the one time I do you-"
"Neptune…" The Lastation CPU sighed. "Let him off. Just this once. He did save your nation when you attacked."
"Oh come on!" The purple CPU yelled. "This is bullshit!"
I shrugged. "If it makes you feel any better I'll go turn myself in now?"
Purple Heart sighed in frustration, the situation clearly not in her favour. "Look, if you promise not to pull anything like this again, I'll pardon you."
"I swear on my pride as Planeptune's saviour. I'd die for this Nation." I promised.
"Good enough. Now can we resume the frigging concert?" She motioned for us to get the hell off the stage as we complied, helping IF down as I did so.
Walking back to the middle of the stage as Purple Heart herself floated off, 5pb. resolved the situation. "Cheers for the happy couple! Don't worry about me, I'm fine! Uni had a lock on him if he did try anything!"
As the crowd cheered, I spotted the glint of a rifle way outside the stands on the roof of the dome. Christ, that could have ended badly. Well, worse than it did already.
As the cheers died down, 5pb. rubbed the back of her head nervously. "Now that my personal friend is here and kinda… Broke the news of my real name…" She sighed. "This is actually my farewell concert. 5pb. is retiring. Not because of the hostage thing, I swear!"
Gasps of horror came from the crowd. "But hanging out with Koei made me realize something… I got into the idol scene because I loved performance and it was the only way I could make money at the time when I moved to Gamindustri. I got so swept up in fame and fortune that I lost sight of who I truly was. Some of my more hardcore fans might know that I've been releasing albums for years featurig power metal under the name "Helena." The truth is that Lyrica is the alias. I'm not even from Leanbox!"
More gasps. "But that changes today! The reason why 5pb. is retiring forever is because Helena is going to rock Gamidustri to its core! But to help me with that, all the way from Hello Continent… LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FRIEND USS SAN DIEGO!"
The crowd cheered even harder as the sprightly redhead ran on stage. I think I saw her preparing before this entire hostage thing. "Hello Planeptune! Helena and I are going to rock your socks off as Seven Hels make their debut!"
Interesting. The idol held for applause before continuing. "Now for our debut single, you know it! You love it! The Hero of Planeptune's theme song itself, NO PAIN! NO GAME!... The EileMonty cover."
Confusion came from the crowd as 5pb- Sorry, Helena rubbed the back of her head. "Yeah… We couldn't get the actual EileMonty booked in time, so I had to get Sandy here. Pain in the ass."
A few chuckles in the crowd as the giant screen behind them started to replay the fight between Uzume and I as the light cruiser turned… Rock goddess started to play the English version of my own goddamn theme song.
"Last Episode Theme Reprise, huh?" Neptune walked up to us, apparently having calmed down with a pudding in her mouth. "Honestly I should have expected you to try and crash a 5pb… Seven Hels concert." She corrected herself as she put a spoon full of custard in her mouth as we watched the duo rock out.
"Hell of a duo." I mutter as IF wrapped her arm around me.
"You talking about them or us?" IF gave me a peck on the cheek as Helena played the guitar solo like a champ as the feed showed… Me getting the shit kicked out of me. Typical.
"Man, what a fight." I muttered again. "How did I live after taking a beating like that?"
IF shrugged. "Beats the hell outta me. Cool looking though."
I nodded in agreement as we listened to the concert. Surprisingly, Helena opted for an encore, covering of all things, Dragonforce's My Spirit Will Go On.
That guitar stood no chance.
Still, we quietly enjoyed the ear shredding guitar solo, just happy that the world was at peace finally.
I mean I knew that something would go down eventually but for now I might as well just roll with it.
The game has only just begun, after all.
A/N: Ladies and gentlemen, we're here at the end and well, I have mixed feelings about this. I've been saving this extra long Author's Note for the very end and I'm going to use it.
First of all, thank you. Reading, favouriting, commenting, whatever. While my primary source is of course passion of the medium, you guys did give me ideas from time to time and I think it improved the fic by a lot, having this special author/commenter interaction is rare because most people tend to not write fanfiction or respond to comments.
Alright, onto the story itself. I think I stumbled a bit at the start, keeping chapters short because I hadn't written anything for a while at that point. I think after Lost in Lastation I started to get my sea legs, so to speak. I think in general I had a good enough mix of original ideas and familiar Neptunia concepts to make it seem like a spinoff title like Superdimension Neptune or something like that.
Speaking of original… Koei himself. I've gone on record many times saying that he's heavily based on me. Hell, I learned recently that Luke Skywalker was based on Lucas himself and while I haven't really sat down and watched Star Wars, the fact that it's still relevant today shows that sometimes you can just write what you know and the story flows from there. KoeIffy was a shock to be sure, as I never really wrote romance, but I think it made a good side-thing and really upped the tension in the final arc. Also made for a cute, fluffy end as you just saw. Maybe a little too cheesy, but I wanted to do something only Koei would be stupid enough to pull off, even if I do admit, having him get off scot-free was a bit of an ass-pull.
Actually, a lot of this was ass-pulls. The problem with my brand of "100% Maximum No Chill" writing is that planning ahead is a good and you should at least write some cliff notes before you start a story. Stops you meandering about for several chapters (See: Ultradimension arc.) and it might flow more naturally.
Of course, coming up with things on the fly can be a good thing. A good many ideas just came up as I listened to music. Hell, a lot of the music I used in later fights (Such as in I F F Y) were directly inspired by the source. Straight up, the Miru fight in Rabi-Ribi is an amazing payoff for nearly a whole game's buildup. It's fast, frantic and brutal. Even on my third playthrough I was sweating on those last few hits and I wanted a similar tone for I F F Y. Hell, the original title of it was I.F.F.Y like the song M.R. but FanfictionDotNet is fuckin' weird…
But yeah, on the fly things like Neptune being from an alternate timeline, Uzume getting a "True Form" more resembling a Planeptune CPU (That always bothered me that Kurome never got her second chance. I know she's a dimension destroying lunatic but you basically kill half of Uzume. Kinda fucked up, even if you don't get the Normal ending.) and of course, Chromey getting her appearance.
Yeah… Kinda forgot she existed. Too busy lore-dumping Uzume's backstory, making her care about Histoire and her former Nation. Acutally giving the fucking villain a motive instead of BECAUSE SHE'S FUCKING EVIL. That game had some serious writing issues, but so did this. So uh… Uni got the hell out of dodge along with Chrome before everything started to go to shit. Arbitrary bullshit, yay!
(It was more important to have the Neps for moral support anyway.)
As for Altradimension Neptune herself, I have plans for her. Honestly, the whole timeline thing was a crock of shit I made up, but it makes sense considering she can hop universes on a whim, I guess!
I dunno man, the Neptunia-verse is such a mess, trying to make sense of it all and writing an original narrative is hard.
Endings are hard too, but we have to let go sometimes. Before we go, I want to thank a few people.
Velvet_Frame aside from making the cover art, is a very close friend of mine. They've helped me through thick and thin emotionally and is generally just chill as fuck. Love ya man.
Pretty much anyone who has influenced my work by commenting. Too many names to list and I don't want to give preferential treatment, so I'll just say everyone!
And last but not least, Cirno the Genius. I already mentioned HA-V3N and how he was directly inspired by me, but I never mentioned how fucking good it is. If you've played VA11-HALL-A you'll feel right at home in HA-V3N. With his blessing to use Lan Cable, Koei might even run into him in a future chapter…
That's right folks. It's not over.
See you next time for Old Friends, New Family, the first of several "Bonus" chapters, tying up loose ends, including ideas that I couldn't use in the story due to the last arc taking over the entire damn fic and just because I enjoy writing this.
Until then, for those who have read. I salute you. Thank you for reading.
Sociopath With a Spellblade
Initial End Results
Completion Time: 199 Days
Total Chapters: 34
Ending Achieved: The Saviour/Happy End
Thank You For Playing!
Ver 1.0.0 Build Date: 17th January, 2020, 2:27pm
Ver 1.0.1 Build Date: 31st January, 2020, 4:46pm