Chapter 33: Drifting
Naruto stumbled on his feet. His muscles were lead, fatigue settling in his bones like a familiar weight. Sweat poured down his face as the late-spring sun blazed over a cloudless sky.
"One more," Jiraiya said.
He breathed in deep and fell into his stance: hands close enough to perform hand seals, legs wide and slightly bent. Naruto threw out a right jab, then pivoted his hip and kicked high, right foot going above his head. Keeping his guard up, he brought down his foot behind his back and lunged forward in a right cross, turning on the spot to deliver a sweeping kick.
It was a simple kata, but there was no more wasted motion as Naruto executed every movement with perfect poise. When he was in this zone of focus, nothing else mattered, only his breathing, his movement, and the instinct he'd develop.
Naruto took a step forward, gathering his feet before he thrust his leg outward, fully extending it. He held it, embracing the burn in his hamstrings.
"Release."
He did, and fell onto the field with an exhausted, but elated smile on his face. Cicadas in the distance chirped in tune with the pounding of his heart and his steady, but laboured breathing.
"That's it for today," Jiraiya said. "I don't want to see you sneaking off to train, alright?"
Naruto just lay in the grass. "Yeah, yeah."
Their journey had taken them to the Land of Grass, and true to its name, it was filled with lush fields of tall grass and humid jungles housing canopies that covered the sky.
Six months had come and gone since he left his home and he'd hit the ground running. Jiraiya was a true master and had ironed out the flaws in his form, guiding him in the development of his own fighting style. He trained until he couldn't move, and then he'd train some more when Jiraiya wasn't looking.
Constant movement, constant training. It was the antidote he needed, but there were times when he had to rest, and while he waited for his body to recover, his mind wandered to a past he couldn't leave behind.
He still couldn't believe that Kurenai accepted the mission. It still felt like a twisted nightmare he couldn't wake up from, and he wondered how long she'd been following orders for.
Was that meeting under the waterfall just a way for her to entrance him with her perfectly sculpted body? Did she know about his troubles with his team just so she could swoop in as his saviour and confidant, driving a wedge between him and his team?
He didn't know, and no amount of sleepless nights or frenzied thinking would help him figure things out.
"Naruto," Jiraiya said. "You're thinking again."
He laughed, in spite of himself. He still hadn't told Jiraiya about what he found out, but his master had given him his space, only stepping in to keep him from hurting himself, from falling into a whirlpool of dark thoughts.
The first month after he'd left, he'd been numb to nearly everything. When he was with Jiraiya, he could focus on his training or the sights and smells of the countries they visited, but when night fell and all he had was the privacy of his own thoughts, dread crawled onto his body and kept him bound until sleep overtook him.
It'd come back, no matter where he went or what he did, but Jiraiya's constant presence kept it away. And over time, the despair and numbness gradually faded into whispers he could manage.
"We have a lot of ground to cover," Jiraiya said, looking at the sky. There was a pensive look in his eye that made Naruto twinge with guilt. "Let's get going."
Naruto climbed to his feet and grabbed his gray shirt, the one Kurenai got for him. It was torn in several places from arduous training and it was getting pretty tight, but he held onto it. It was still one of the first acts of kindness a stranger had ever shown him, but the memory had spoiled like rotten milk.
He always thought heartbreak was an exaggeration, but nothing else could describe the anger and sorrow and betrayal that consumed his mind and heart after the numbness faded.
Jiraiya had told him that the answer to ending his pain was not inflicting more pain, but to make peace with the fact that it happened and move was right. That mission happened. There wasn't a thing he could do to change it.
Yet saying that didn't make the pain go away.
Naruto walked amongst the dunes that covered the Village Hidden in the Sand. If the Land of Grass' midday sun was like a bonfire that charred grass and twigs, the Land of Wind's desert sun was a scalding inferno that melted the bones of vultures and humans alike.
The air was so dry that he'd hacked out a cough more than once. Grains of sand caught in his sandals as his feet sunk beneath the shifting ground. Yet, his escort wasn't fazed a bit, and she was dressed in black.
"If you can walk on water, you can walk on sand," Temari said.
Naruto pushed chakra to his soles and sighed in relief. No more sand to worry about.
It had been nine months since he'd visited the Land of Grass, and he had to admit, it was nice to see a familiar face. He never saw Karin in the week or so he'd been in her homeland, but while Temari wasn't his family or even a friend, seeing her brought back memories of a simpler time, when all he had to worry about was becoming a chūnin.
He thought he'd get some jutsu scrolls to practice on, but instead, Temari had volunteered to show him the ropes. He wasn't sure what she'd get out of this, but enlisting the help of a specialist sure beat struggling on his own.
"We're here," Temari said, after they'd crested a particularly large dune.
Rocks and boulders of all shapes and sizes were scattered across a stretch of flat desert, and a bunch of them had grooves and indents shorn into them.
Now that his taijutsu was up to snuff, it was about time he mastered wind chakra, and according to Jiraiya, there wasn't a better place to learn it than the Land of Wind.
Although, this wasn't the first thing he'd think of when wind chakra came to mind.
"We're going to cut through rocks?" Naruto asked.
Temari nodded. "That's right. We don't have waterfalls to cut through like you Leaf ninja, so we have to make do with these."
Without warning, Temari skated down the dune, sliding to a stop next to the rock formation. Naruto ran down with far less grace, not wanting to try his luck.
She walked to a small stone and threw it at him. "Try and cut this."
He caught the stone and focused his chakra, imagining blades of wind that would shear it in half. The stone split in half, but the two halves were jagged. When he cut the leaf, he could cut it perfectly, but there was a clear difference between a leaf and a rock.
"You were trying to force the wind to bend to your will," Temari said. "Brute force will only get you so far."
Naruto almost frowned, but he schooled his features into a smooth mask. He had a lot of practice hiding his emotions. "Aren't you supposed to shape the chakra into what you need?"
Temari shook her head. "Yes, but wind isn't like water." She made her way to one of the largest boulders. "The first step to mastering wind chakra is knowing the wind itself. It howls and it shreds and it drags everything in its path, but it can be tamed. Let me show you how."
She turned around and in a flourish, she whipped out her fan. Naruto closed his eyes and felt the world around him with his sensor. His vision had expanded to two hundred metres in all directions, while he could visualize and interpret the information he received with greater ease and with greater detail.
Temari twirled her fan twice, gathering wind chakra at its edge, before slashing the boulder in front of her. While her fan was less than half the length of the boulder, she let the wind do the work for her, using her chakra as a medium to corral the wind along the path she set.
She spun on the spot and in a single movement, her fan was closed, strapped to her back. The boulder fell behind her, severed in two even halves. A satisfied smile crossed her face. It was very impressive, but he wasn't willing to show his awe.
"Your chakra is a guide to controlling the wind. Wind chakra can be very volatile and fickle, but understanding its nuances is how you learn to make it do what you want."
Temari took in a deep breath and with his sensor, he saw her gather wind chakra at her nose, letting her lungs fill up with a lot more air than normal. Her black kimono billowed as she exhaled, expelling trace amounts of wind chakra. So that was why she wasn't sweating in this heat.
"It's kind of like genjutsu, isn't it?" Naruto said.
"It is." Temari smirked. "You'd know a lot about that, wouldn't you?"
He was a bonafide master at it, but he'd always planned on diversifying his skill set, even before he learned the truth. His knowledge of genjutsu would be forever tied to his relationship with Kurenai. That didn't mean he had to abandon it. It was still his goal to become the strongest ninja in the Hidden Leaf and gain fame from being a master of genjutsu, and it had been that way before Kurenai started teaching him.
He'd just adapt and branch out so that he didn't need to rely on it as his only means of attack. There was no way he'd be a sitting duck if someone from the Akatsuki could get around his genjutsu.
"I do, but it doesn't mean it's all I've got."
Temari stared at him, like she did when they crossed paths in that forest. He didn't know what she was looking for, but that was her problem, not his.
"In that case, get started on moulding your chakra," she said. "It's time we see what you're really made of."
Naruto grabbed the nearest stone and brought Temari's demonstration to the forefront of his mind. He focused on his chakra and released it, guiding it out and splitting the stone in two even halves.
Temari gave him a nod. "Nice work. Now on to the next one."
He walked over to a rock that went up to his knees and repeated the progress. Two jagged halves. There was clear progress, but he could do better.
Naruto continued to grind it out, creating clones to speed up the process. He worked at it until his chakra fell into the red and the sun hung low in the sky. He dispelled six clones and the feedback made him shudder from his brain down to his toes.
He found his footing and formed the cross seal.
"That's it," Temari said, stepping in front of him. "You're done."
Naruto blinked slowly. "No. I can keep going."
Her glare held no room for argument. "Not like this, you can't. It's getting late and you're going to knock yourself out. We can start again tomorrow."
"What do you care?" Naruto asked, migraine pounding his head like a hammer. He wouldn't let anything keep him from getting stronger.
Temari put a hand on her hip. "If you want to train until you drop dead, do it on your own time. But as long as I'm teaching you, what I say goes, and you're in no shape to train."
He scowled, emotion breaking through his mask. It wasn't the first time someone told him he was training too hard, but Jiraiya cared about him and he backed off. Why would Temari give a damn about him? It didn't make sense why she was willing to take time out from her busy schedule just to train some foreigner.
Naruto shoved Temari aside and set his hands on the boulder in front of him. His palms hurt and he felt something spasm. He gathered his chakra and screamed through the pain. Everything was hot.
The next thing he knew, he was drinking from a canteen as Temari cooled him off. He hadn't even made a dent in the boulder.
"Ready to go?" Temari asked. It might have been the heat, but she almost looked... concerned for his well-being.
He didn't have a choice.
The trip back to the village was spent in a strained, but ultimately restful silence. As the sun set, the temperature dropped really, really quickly, and by the time they returned to the village, it was pitch black outside, save for some scattered lanterns that flickered on and the light of the moon.
"We'll pick up where we left off tomorrow," Temari said, once they reached his hotel room. "For now, get some rest."
Naruto nodded and pushed his way inside, hitting his bed with a thud and falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.
When dawn broke, Naruto heard someone bang at the door. He got up and wiped the flakes from his eyes.
"Good morning," Temari said, smiling widely, like morning had already come. How did she function? "Did you sleep well?"
Naruto's head bobbed up and down. "Yeah." His migraine had gone away and his chakra reserves had completely recovered. He hadn't felt this well-rested in a long time.
Temari clapped her hands. "Then get dressed. I'll meet you in the lobby in five minutes."
That day, Naruto didn't train himself into a coma.
Winter nights in the Hidden Sand were nice and cool. Every now and then, it'd get freezing cold at night, but with the right clothing, it was manageable. Besides, he never trained after dark.
Naruto breathed out and saw practically nothing. He'd grown used to the dry air, but he always liked seeing his foggy breath whenever it got cold. He'd probably never get used to seeing all the stars in the night sky, though. They were so clear in the desert, and the full moon shimmered like a beacon of light.
Before he went to bed, he'd take some time to sit on the hotel's rooftop and gaze at the sky. It calmed him down and helped his mind settle before falling asleep. It was getting easier and easier to sleep as time scabbed over the wound Kurenai's betrayal wrought on his heart.
He missed Jiraiya, though. It wasn't the first time they split up, but Jiraiya only left for a week at most. This informant he was chasing after couldn't have been that hard to find. At the very least, they communicated by toad, so he knew he hadn't been left behind.
Sand gathered next to him and burst outward. The newcomer stood next to him, arms crossed in front of his red coat.
"Hey, Gaara," Naruto said.
Gaara inclined his head. He still didn't smile much, but he'd learned how to read his fellow jinchūriki's moods, and Gaara was always content when they were together. They watched the twinkling of the stars in silent companionship.
"How has your training come along?" Gaara asked, after a while.
Naruto allowed a smile to grace his face. "Pretty well."
He'd spent a lot of time with Temari over the past month. While he'd assumed she'd be cruel and harsh, she'd shown patience when teaching him and complimented him when he did well.
Waking up at sunrise to spend the whole morning training was a bit of a pain at first, but he quickly grew used to it. He also got to see the sun rise over the village and illuminate the sky in orange and red and yellow and blue.
'Early to rest, early to rise,' Temari constantly said. She held herself to a high standard, and it showed in her unshakeable self-confidence and how thoroughly she took care of herself. He'd come to expect her presence nowadays, and it helped distance himself from his thoughts and fears.
"What are you up to nowadays?" Naruto asked. Last time he'd asked, Gaara had been fortifying the village's border wall. Before that, he was working in administration, and seeing Gaara bore through paperwork with multiple sand eyes was an image he wouldn't soon forget.
"I am being groomed to become the next Kazekage," Gaara said.
Naruto's eyes shot wide. "What?"
There was no denying the fact that Gaara had changed a lot since they last met, but he always thought a Kage had to be older before they were chosen for the position, so they had the power and wisdom they needed to do their best. He never thought he'd progress this far, this quickly.
"While I may lack experience, I believe it is the best way to show my village how much I have changed. Before I can become Kazekage, however, I must undergo training so that I can be fully prepared for all of the responsibilities I must bear."
Naruto frowned. "And everyone's okay with you becoming Kazekage?"
"I made my case towards the council, and my former sensei Baki endorsed my candidacy for the position. My brother and sister are willing to see me become Kazekage as well. Once I have finished my training, the council will know that I am willing to serve the village as its leader."
It was yet another difference between the Leaf and the Sand. The Hokage typically had advisors, like the elders who constantly accompanied Sarutobi, but never a council. Maybe things would be different if the Leaf did have a council holding the Hokage accountable.
It'd probably be a lot worse for him.
"What about the villagers? Can you serve people who hate you?"
Gaara unfurled his arms, stepping towards the balcony. This time at night, most of the city's lanterns had turned on, bathing the clay and earthen domes in a warm orange glow.
"I have always been aware of their pain and their fear. I want to become their Kazekage to prove that I can walk among them and better their lives as a fellow shinobi of the Sand."
Naruto's jaw trembled. He'd wanted to become Hokage to win over the people who'd shunned him, and he'd found bonds, people to protect. But what was the point of being Hokage when he was seen as nothing more than a weapon or a flight risk that needed to be toyed with like a puppet?
As long as he was a jinchūriki, as long as he was Naruto Uzumaki, he would never become Hokage. It just wasn't meant to be.
"What happened to proving your existence?"
"Both you and Yugito Nii did not let the hatred of others define who you were, and you gained the respect and friendship from the people around you. It encouraged me to examine my own ties, and redefine them so that I too could experience the joys of life. It took time, but now, I finally understand."
His eyes burned, as his mind was flooded by memories of loneliness, the pain of neglect and rejection, the warmth that came from Iruka's kindness, the solidarity of Shikamaru's friendship, the acid melting through Sarutobi's grandfatherly smile and the black tar of Kurenai's love.
"What do you understand?" Naruto screamed, baring his teeth. "You've never been betrayed before! Would you say all of that if the person you loved tore out your heart?"
Gaara looked over his shoulder and Naruto took in the kanji for 'love' tattooed onto his forehead in blood. The sadness in his eyes was palpable.
"Yes." The sheer conviction in Gaara's voice froze Naruto in his tracks. "My mother brought me to life in exchange for hers. My uncle wormed his way into my heart by showing me kindness when everyone else showed fear, but it was only a ruse to lower my guard so he could kill me and avenge my mother's death. My father sent assassins after me to test my capacity, when he was the one who ordered the sealing in the first place.
"For a long time, it was a pain I could not bear, and I closed myself off to escape it. But all of the blood and violence I inflicted could not fill the hole in my heart."
Naruto swallowed the lump in his throat. Tears gathered at the fringes of his eyes.
"I may never know why my father and uncle chose to inflict such torture on me, but I have wallowed in the gloom of my past for long enough. It is time that I move on. I am no longer a weapon to be used and discarded. No matter how hard it may be, I will be Kazekage, and I will become someone who is worthy of their affection and their empathy."
A wistful smile formed on Gaara's face, and it was filled with his hopes and dreams, and his pain as well. "It is all thanks to you, my friend, for showing me that this life, in all its flawed beauty, is truly worth living."
The floodgates broke, and Naruto's tears finally fell with reckless abandon.
"Why are you helping me?"
"Master the wind and I'll tell you."
Naruto stood in the desert, clad in a loose white-and-orange shawl that shielded him from the elements. It was gifted to him by the Hidden Sand, and it had been a much-needed replacement as his gray clothes and his old orange tracksuit were broken beyond repair.
He set his hands on the desert floor and let wind chakra gather in his hands, imagining the shape he wanted it to take. With a deep breath, he pushed it out, guiding it along until it reached the wall bordering the village.
He stood up, observing the twin waterfalls gushing out torrents of sand, and smiled. He assumed cutting the largest boulder he could find would be enough, but if he could cut through the desert, he could cut through anything.
"Excellent!" Temari said. She stood on the side of one of the new waterfalls, peering down the abyss. When she faced him, she smiled widely. "I knew you could do it."
Six weeks of hard work had borne fruit, and he'd finally mastered his element. Thanks to Temari's mentorship, he looked at wind chakra from a completely different perspective, only starting to grasp how versatile the howling wind truly was.
He could have finished his training much faster, but there was no need to push himself beyond the brink, and it had given him time to rest, and reflect.
"Thank you," Naruto said, dusting off his hands.
Temari's eyes glittered. "I should be the one thanking you. You saved my brother and gave him back to us."
She approached him and for the first time, Naruto noticed the way her kimono exposed all of her long, toned leg, the way her headband covered her forehead, leaving her smooth neck exposed.
"It wasn't just me who helped Gaara," he said, to distract himself.
"I know. But you're here."
Naruto held his gaze on Temari's teal eyes. "Is that why you helped me?"
Temari reached him. His hair reached her mouth, but he wouldn't be short for much longer. His growth spurt had begun, and he looked forward to finally being tall.
"You beat me," she said, pressing her hands to her hips. "You beat me with ease, and you did it while defending the honour of someone you barely knew. The fact that some punk kid could do that to me really ate at me. It didn't help that Shikamaru always finds a way to mention you."
Naruto blinked. "You're friends with Shikamaru?"
"He's my escort, and whenever he tells me about you... I'm always left wanting to know more. I had to see what kind of person you were for myself, and teaching you was my chance to find out."
He let out a breath he just barely recognized he'd been holding. How strange, that a foreign ninja could be so forthcoming.
"Well, I hope you found what you were looking for."
Temari smiled, and it was warm and real. "I did."
He frowned, in spite of himself. Gaara and Yugito were jinchūriki like him, and Karin was family, but Temari wasn't either, and yet, she was showing him honesty and respect like they were comrades.
"Glad I could help," Naruto said, because if nothing else, it didn't hurt to show some gratitude.
Temari escorted him back to the village once more, and after they parted ways, he spent the rest of the day walking through the village, saying hello to some of the villagers who recognized him.
He was a tourist and that initially sparked some curiosity, but once he was a fixture, he was treated like he was just another face in the crowd. It was the kind of privacy that was almost impossible for him to wrap his head around.
It was a shame that the Hidden Sand didn't have a ramen stand, but he enjoyed their local delicacies. Temari had shown him some of her favourite haunts when they weren't training, and he hadn't been stiffed or condescended to.
When Naruto set foot on his hotel's rooftop, Jiraiya was leaning on the balcony.
"Did you find that informant of yours?" Naruto asked. Jiraiya had described the informant as 'particularly tricky', even for him, and the last time he spent this long searching for someone, they found Tsunade and brought her home.
Jiraiya nodded. "I did. How did the Hidden Sand treat you?"
"Pretty well."
It was a land of extremes, where the days were unrelenting and the nights were unpredictable. The people of the Sand couldn't afford to take anything for granted: water was scarce, many essential foods had to be imported, and he had to forego several creature comforts he'd taken for granted in the Leaf.
Yet, they were also grateful for what they had, and most of the villagers were quick to adapt to an ever-changing environment. It made them a hardy people, self-reliant and steadfast, capable of enduring.
He'd learned a lot more than just guiding the wind.
Naruto made eye contact with Jiraiya. "I'm going to take care of myself from now on, sensei."
A smile bloomed on his master's face. "I'm glad to hear it." He walked over to join him, and set his beefy hand on his shoulder. "If you're ready, we can leave tomorrow. I think you're ready to truly enjoy everything this trip has to offer."
Naruto smiled. "You're right. I'm ready to go."
They watched the sun set over the village and witnessed the moon and the stars in all their glory before retiring for the night. The next day, they made their way to the entrance, and waiting to see them off was Gaara, Temari and to Naruto's surprise, Kankurō.
He hadn't seen much of the puppeteer during his stay, but considering he was Gaara's older brother, he shouldn't have been surprised he was with his siblings.
"Thanks for taking care of my apprentice," Jiraiya said.
Gaara nodded. "It is our pleasure. Naruto will always be a welcome guest of the Hidden Sand."
Naruto felt his cheeks heat up, a tiny smile tugging at his lips. "I'm honoured."
Kankurō smiled. "After everything you've done for Gaara, it's the least we can do."
"I appreciate it," Naruto said. They bumped fists.
Temari stepped forward, smile brightening her face. "You'd better not forget what I taught you."
Naruto nodded. "I won't. Thanks for teaching me, Temari. I really learned a lot."
"And I enjoyed teaching you." She closed the distance and gave him a strong hug. It took him a few seconds to wrap his arms around her shoulders. It was warm, friendly, different from how Kurenai held him. It was something he needed to feel.
"You're stronger than you think," she whispered. "Don't ever forget that."
When she let go, the tiniest of flames began to flicker in his blue eyes. "You got it."
Gaara marched up to him, until they stood face-to-face. "Farewell, Naruto Uzumaki."
He held out his hand, and Naruto immediately shook it. "Stay safe, Gaara. You're going to be a great Kazekage."
Gaara smiled. "Thank you. I'm glad that we are friends."
Naruto smiled, too. "So am I."
The fact Gaara was no longer a remorseless killer was still kind of mystifying, but it was good that he had changed and made real bonds with his brother and sister. Gaara understood what he'd gone through, and he had found the strength to move on.
It was time that he moved on as well.
Naruto focused on getting stronger because it gave him a goal to attain, something that could make him forget everything else. It got him results, but it had been wearing him down mentally and emotionally, and it scared him that he didn't care if he broke down or blacked out.
In trying to escape his pain, he'd only hurt himself, and in trying to figure out the reasons behind Kurenai's actions, he'd gone in circles, no closer to gaining the solace he desired than he was when he left the Hidden Leaf.
This realization had forced him to answer some tough questions. Why did he want to get stronger? To defeat Akatsuki so he could survive. What would he do if he beat them?
It had taken him time, but he found an answer. If he did survive, he had to be able to enjoy what life had to offer, and if he wanted to live a full life, he couldn't let anything hold him back, especially himself.
Everything about Kurenai was still so hard to deal with. Learning the truth had scarred him, changed him for good, but he still had incredibly strong feelings for her. While he doubted he could forgive her, he wouldn't let her keep him tethered to the past, not when it cost him so much.
When the time came, though, he'd confront Kurenai and Sarutobi about the mission, so he could make sense of what happened and close this chapter of his life for good.
Slowly but surely, he begun to mend. Naruto's training trip had taken him across most of the Elemental Nations, and it was high time he made the most of it. He enjoyed some of the world's finest tea in the Land of Tea, watched flamingoes and swans and all kinds of colourful birds flock to the Land of Birds, traversed the misty terrain of the Land of Water by boat, and soaked in the hot springs of the Land of Steam.
He met new people all the time, experienced new cultures and flavours, and made memories that would last a lifetime.
Naruto also pushed himself in his training, but he was careful not to go too far. His time in the Hidden Sand had given him perspective, and proof that he could heal. Now that his mind was mostly clear, he spent the next year developing his own fighting style, one that incorporated everything he'd learned from all his teachers.
He was in peak physical condition thanks to Jiraiya's focus on improving his body and his form. His chakra reserves had grown to dizzying heights and his control over it had improved even further: he barely wasted any chakra on his jutsu, and the ratio between his physical energy and spiritual energy was perfectly balanced.
Genjutsu was second nature to him now, and his mastery of wind chakra had introduced more ways to incorporate illusions and deceptive tricks into his repertoire. There was one thing he wanted to work on, but he'd need some help to make his illusions real, and that was bound to be a tough conversation.
He got cracking on learning water chakra, since it was his secondary chakra nature. Kurenai had actually shown him how to master the element, but actually doing it was easier said than done.
Whenever he hit a wall, he'd summon a toad, and he hit many walls, so he got to summon many toads that were big and small, old and young. As a result, he created more than a few collaboration jutsu, and he picked up a couple of Water Style jutsu from the toads as well.
Mastering water chakra wasn't the only wall he hit, but he'd rounded out his skill set pretty well, and all he needed to do was bring it all together.
About three months ago, he challenged his master to a no-holds barred spar and promptly got his ass handed to him. He took his loss and the bruises on his skin on the chin, and used it as fuel to improve.
Now, he stood atop one of the Land of Lightning's many mountains, where lightning streaked across the sky and thunder crashed and boomed, and challenged Jiraiya to yet another spar.
"Whenever you're ready," Jiraiya said.
A clash of fists and steel ensued. Fire was met with water, wind was stalled by earth, and Naruto dodged what he couldn't take, looking underneath the underneath to find an opening to cast a genjutsu. Jiraiya's solution to fighting genjutsu masters was unrelenting pressure, and it was smothering, but not overwhelming.
Eventually, Naruto got his chance, and split into two. One had a Rasengan fully formed in his right hand as he was launched by the other. Jiraiya jumped high and punished him with a spine-crunching axe kick, but the clone burst into smoke and the winds picked up, making the smoke swirl into a tornado that swallowed the thunder.
Jiraiya took a step back and clapped his hands to dispel the tornado. Naruto was in his guard in an instant and smashed his foot into his ribs, knocking him to the craggy ground.
Naruto held his guard, waiting for a counterattack... but it didn't come.
"Well done," Jiraiya said, hopping to his feet. The pride on his master's face was as clear as day, as was the warmth in his smile.
"Thanks, sensei," Naruto said, grinning from his victory.
Jiraiya touched his stomach and winced. "You kick pretty hard. I might have to stop holding back."
"You sure you weren't already?"
Naruto made eye contact with Jiraiya, a slight smile on his face. He held his stare for as long as he could. Then they laughed.
"Come on, let's get back to the hotel before I make you eat those words," Jiraiya said.
Together, they climbed down the mountain and walked back to the hotel. The town they were passing through was pretty close to the border between the Land of Lightning and the Land of Snow. While he'd been a welcome guest in the Hidden Sand, he doubted he'd receive that same privilege in the Village Hidden in the Clouds, even if the Raikage was interested in him.
Still, he got a taste of what this country had to offer, and the town was pretty peaceful, quiet... until they reached the hotel and Jiraiya saw some women lounging around on the lobby's couches. They giggled after Jiraiya gave them a wave and a wink.
"Relax, Pervy Sage," Naruto said, putting a hand on his master's shoulder. "They'll still be around. You'll get your chance."
Jiraiya snorted, but Naruto was able to guide him to the hotel's restaurant. They cooked a mean salt ramen, and he wasn't going to miss out because the Pervy Sage wanted to make the five.
"So, Naruto, find anyone you like?" Jiraiya asked, after they took their seats at a corner table with a nice view. "Because I've seen the looks some of these babes are giving you, and as your master, it is my duty to help you realize your potential."
Naruto shook his head. In between the training and doing his best to move past his heartbreak, he'd grown up, and now women noticed him. He noticed them, too; he was a teenager, after all. He just wasn't interested in fooling around.
"Maybe some other time."
Jiraiya gasped, but a sly smile quickly enveloped his face. "Oh, I get it. You're still thinking about all that private time you spent with Temari, aren't you? If I had a senpai who could show me the ropes, I'd have settled down years ago."
He could hardly believe that, but Jiraiya's little remark did stir his thoughts. Temari had been his escort, his teacher and, eventually, his friend. He genuinely enjoyed her company and she actually cared about him. However, while he did find her attractive, there just wasn't that spark that he felt when he fell for Kurenai.
And right now, he wasn't willing to go through the trouble of getting into a new relationship.
"What about Grandma Tsunade?" Naruto asked. "How many times has she rejected you?"
Jiraiya clutched his heart. "Oh, you got me. That is a low blow. Maybe I should tell Tsunade about the names you've been calling her behind her back."
Naruto smiled innocently. "I already said it to her face." He grimaced. "I was in a hospital bed, though."
"Lucky you."
It was times like these when he truly cherished that Jiraiya was a part of his life. He'd spent nearly two and a half years with his master, and even when he was miserable and stuck in his own head, Jiraiya was there for him, helping him in ways that he was only beginning to appreciate.
Jiraiya regaled him with stories from his past, telling him more about the Fourth Hokage, the children he trained in the Hidden Rain, and his desires for true peace. He also got advice about how to handle women in and out of bed, and Naruto grudgingly admitted that he had nothing on his master, though he'd never say it out loud.
He really liked him, and considering who he was, it was almost too good to be true that Jiraiya of the Legendary Sannin, Toad Sage and one of the most powerful people to walk the Elemental Nations was his sensei and friend.
"Do you think I'm ready?" Naruto asked.
Jiraiya fixed him with an unusually serious stare. It brought back memories of when they first met, when he'd been judged by the eyes of a shinobi who'd seen it all. This time, he wasn't a genin desperate to build himself up, he was a chūnin on the cusp of cracking the code to true greatness.
"Yes," Jiraiya said. "There isn't much else I can teach you. As for the rest... you should finish up your ramen, first."
He immediately caught the implication. It was time.
Naruto watched Jiraiya seal up their suite with soundproof barriers, moving around at a brisk pace. The suite itself had a room with two beds, a coffee table with two couches set on either side, and a walk-in bathroom and closet. Everything was well-maintained and if it wasn't for the tension in the air, the atmosphere would be pretty comforting.
He'd learned a bit about sealing from Jiraiya, like the difference between seals and jutsu formulas, how to recognize and dispel barriers or traps, and how to make better sealing scrolls. However, he didn't learn anything he could incorporate into his fighting style. Contact seals were pretty tricky, and learning how to use them would take time he couldn't afford to waste.
In any case, the barrier Jiraiya was setting up was pretty strong, and after he sensed the surrounding area, he was certain nobody would be eavesdropping on their conversation.
Jiraiya took a seat on the couch facing the bed, gesturing Naruto to sit across from him.
Despite everything, Naruto didn't regret his decision. That didn't mean he wanted to talk about it. That was the only reason why he didn't want to force Jiraiya to reveal who his parents were; he didn't want Jiraiya to ask him who his minder was.
Jiraiya had already given him a lot of space. He didn't want to push his luck and give him an excuse to pry.
Once Naruto got settled in his seat, Jiraiya set his hands on his knees. "I wasn't very close to your mother, but she was a lot like you. She was passionate and strong, and she never gave up on anything. Most of all, she loved your father with all her might, and I know she loved you."
"What was her name?" Naruto asked.
"Her name is Kushina Uzumaki."
Naruto smiled widely. He knew that Kushina was someone from his family, but the fact that she was his mother, and his mom was a hero was amazing.
He sobered up pretty quickly. "Who's my father?"
"The Fourth Hokage."
Naruto froze, processing what his master just said. His dad was a hero, a once-in-a-lifetime genius of a ninja who sowed terror in his enemies' hearts. From what Jiraiya told him, Minato Namikaze was a truly good man. Everything began to make sense.
Except, there was one huge problem that immediately came to mind. And it brought a frown to his face.
"If the Fourth Hokage was my dad, then why did he seal the Nine-Tails inside of me?"
"He must have thought you could handle its power. He loved you, Naruto, he was looking forward to being your father. He'd never try to hurt you."
Naruto's frown faded. Other than sealing the Nine-Tails, he couldn't have anticipated exactly what would happen to him.
His life would've been better if his parents were alive. No one would ever hate him if they knew his dad was the Yellow Flash, and his mom would have showered him with love. Iruka wouldn't have been the first friend he ever had. There wouldn't be any need for Kurenai to be his genjutsu teacher. Kakashi would have been in his life before he became a genin.
He'd be a different person if his parents were alive, even if he was still the Nine-Tails' container. But here he was.
Naruto looked inward, trying to see if his tenant was awake, but the Nine-Tails' only response was its sickening smile. He shook his head. It wasn't the Nine-Tails that was the problem, as infuriating as it could be sometimes. Not entirely, anyway.
No, it was everything else that came with it. He had so many questions he wanted answered, but Jiraiya wasn't the one who made the laws in the Hidden Leaf, he wasn't the one who made the villagers despise him.
There wasn't much point in venting his anger at his master when his true target was so far away.
"Thanks for telling me about my parents, sensei," Naruto said.
The furrow in Jiraiya's brow eased up. "I'm glad that I could. I'm not just your master, I'm also your godfather."
Naruto clenched his fist, as more and more things fell into place. "Then where were you?"
His master – no, his godfather – frowned. "I can't run a spy network if I stay in the Leaf."
Naruto growled under his breath. "Well, why didn't you bring me with you?"
"My job was no place for a baby, but no matter what age you were, I couldn't take you. Even as a child, you were still too important to the village. You were the jinchūriki, and if you were away from home, it'd be open season for the vultures to feast."
Naruto scowled. "That doesn't explain why I never saw you."
"Whenever I checked in, Sarutobi-sensei ensured me that he was taking care of you, and I had no reason not to trust his judgement."
He had several reasons, but none of them had anything to do with Jiraiya. His scowl deepened. "So you couldn't check in on me? I needed you!"
He felt his cheeks burn from embarrassment and shame before his mouth even closed. He shouldn't have said that, no matter how true it was.
Jiraiya's face fell, and he looked so much older now, decades of regret aging him in an instant. "I know, but I couldn't. You reminded me of what I lost when your parents died, and it took me too long to move on." He rubbed his face. "It's no excuse. The only thing I can do now is make up for lost time."
It hurt that his own godfather hadn't helped him as a young kid, but he was here now. He couldn't stay in the past, he had to keep moving forward. And Jiraiya had proven he was worthy of his trust.
"You already have," Naruto said.
A smile cracked through Jiraiya's face, and that brought Naruto's smile back from the brink.
"Thank you, Naruto," Jiraiya said. He pulled out a single photo from a scroll in his pocket, handing it to him. "These are your parents."
Naruto would have immediately recognized his father, but now he could truly see the resemblance. They had the same spiky yellow hair and bright blue eyes, and the same warm smile, but when he saw his mother, his breath hitched.
She had long, flowing red hair and sparkling violet eyes. Her chin was round just like his. She smiled like she was truly free. This was his mother. It was really her.
He wiped the tears from his eyes. "Can I keep this?"
"Of course!" Jiraiya said. "It's yours."
Naruto looked at the photo, examining every curve, every nuance, and if time stood still, he would have been content. He gently set down the photo and smiled.
"I really know who they are, Pervy Sage," Naruto said. He laughed.
Jiraiya had a gentle smile on his face. "They'd be proud of you, I know it. You've got guts, and you've overcome hardship no one should ever have to suffer."
Naruto swallowed thickly. "Thank you."
A silence grew between them, but it was a peaceful one. It filled Naruto with warmth, to know that his parents loved him, that he was truly appreciated.
Jiraiya stood up. "Let's get some rest. I've set up a mission for you, and your partner will be waiting for us here tomorrow."
"Really?"
He nodded. "It'll be a good way for you to get some real experience in the field, and put the Blade of Illusion back on the map."
It was exactly what he needed. He'd tested himself on his clones and spars against Jiraiya, but actual missions would do wonders in broadening his experience and his abilities.
"I'm looking forward to it," Naruto said.
"Good man." He paused in his tracks. "There's just one thing I want to know. Before you left, did you have a fight with Kurenai?"
Naruto's heart constricted and his smile shattered like glass. He found his focus before his thoughts could spiral out, and donned a cool mask. "Yes."
"Was that fight the reason why you wanted to leave?"
He kept his mask up, not wanting to give anything away. "No."
Jiraiya's stare was penetrating. "Did you try to find out who was watching you?"
"I did."
His master looked straight through him, until it became uncomfortable and sweat percolated at the back of his neck. Eventually, Jiraiya relaxed his gaze.
"I know you'll never betray the Hidden Leaf, but you aren't a rookie any more. It's time you stop acting like one."
Naruto caught himself before he could blurt out something petulant. What he did was wrong, but it was better than living in blissful ignorance.
"There's a reason why secrets exist, especially when they belong to the Hokage," Jiraiya said. "Merely having a piece of sensitive information can give you power and influence beyond your imagination. It can turn the tide of battle, bring prosperity to your village, but if word gets out that you know things you shouldn't know, it can make you a target."
Naruto nodded. "I get it. I still needed to know the truth."
Jiraiya gave him a reassuring smile. It was fleeting. "The truth is a temping mistress. If you can't handle what she reveals responsibly, you're better off leaving her behind."
His blue eyes turned to ice. "I don't regret what I did, but from now on, I'll be more responsible. I still want people to trust me, and you told me about my parents because you trusted me with this information. I'm not going to shout out my dad's name from the rooftops."
Jiraiya chuckled. "I know you won't. But even if I wasn't sure, this is still information you deserve to know. Just be careful. Revenge might not be the only thing you have to worry about if your parentage becomes well-known."
Naruto felt Jiraiya pat his shoulder before he walked to their room.
By tomorrow, it would have been nearly three years since he became a ninja. Back then, he wanted to become strong so he could be acknowledged. He got what he wanted without needing strength, but it had been a ruse. Now, he knew that he could put his trust in someone without being burned.
Whoever his partner was, he'd do his best to work with them to fulfill their mission. It was how he'd been trained. But his trust, his vulnerability wasn't something he was willing to share, not until his partner proved that they were worthy of it.
No matter what happened, though, he'd find a way to survive, because that was who he was. And this time, he'd do his best to live, too.
Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who reviewed and gave me their support or praise, and thank you to everyone who followed or favourited this story. I truly appreciate it.