A/N: Alright, so this chapter is filled with surprises! That's ALL I'm going to say... ;) I hope you continue to enjoy this ff that is soon reaching its end. Happy reading! And thank you all who have continued to support this idea of mine.
The next morning, after her drunken debacle, Emma needed to get away. Far away. She needed to leave the city, if only for a little while. She needed to clear her head. Although, no matter how much distraction she looked for, she always thought about Regina.
How could she had been so stupid? One moment alone with the woman and instead of staying mad at her, she turns into a puddle of goo at her feet.
How could she have lost control like that?
Drunk or not, she should have remained angry. She was angry. Angry at her for leaving, angry at her for being a coward. Because that's what she was. That's how she saw her. And yet, like a fool- after kissing her the way she did- she loved her. Not that she ever stopped.
That kiss burned on her lips like fire.
It had taken her six years to get over some of that pain Regina caused her. And now, because of one drunken kiss they both shared, because of one look. She was right back to feeling all of the love for her just pouring out of her skin. Burning like a sting that would only intensify if you touched it.
It scared her. That's why she chose to leave the city the next morning and go to the one place she knew would bring her a sense of peace.
Emma stood in front of her cabin. That cabin that she always swore would be hers, looking straight at it as its state remained the same as the day she bought it. She had arrived at Marco's place before heading out here, asking to borrow his truck while she left her beloved bug parked at his place. She needed his truck to be able to do what she now had in mind.
She wasn't sure why, but something inside of her shouted right at her that it was time for her to fix the cabin up. Just like she always wanted. So she did.
She removed every single fallen board as well as every single broken window. Piece by piece, day by day- she worked herself to the bone on repairing every single broken part of that cabin. Her phone went unanswered, piling up many missed calls from Ruby, some from Ingrid, even Lily.
Because right now, her priority was finishing up the cabin.
Marco offered to help her many days and nights before only to be turned down by the blonde. Emma wasn't being rude. This was just a project she needed- felt like it had to be done on her own.
She couldn't understand it herself as to why.
Maybe a part of her wished- hoped that by accomplishing this task with all her love, sweat and blood- Regina would find a way to come back to her.
It was stupid, she knew that. Because that's the kind of thing her nineteen, even twenty-one self would have believed years ago. Something, her twenty-seven year old would not. Not anymore.
So, why did her heart keep wishing for it?
Then, it dawned on her. That's what she was running from. That's what scared her. To be right back on that path.
It was amazing how fast Emma finished that cabin. The scent of freshly placed wood filling her surroundings as the night sky fell. The only source of light being the night lamps she had placed around the area. She smiled at her finished product. In just a half month of none stop labor- she had finished it. Her body was sure feeling it, but she had had plenty of drinks to numb her aching muscles. Beads of sweat decorated the soldier's forehead as her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail. Strands of blonde, golden hair resting on the sides of her face.
Sure she would stop to eat and rest, and due to her time spent out there, eventually she contacted her friends and loved ones to let them know that she was still breathing.
The cabin wasn't big, but it wasn't small either. It was enough for one, even two people to live in. Well, maybe she had expanded it a little, but still not that much. There were windows on each side, along with a triangular shaped window right on top where the roof began. It was divided by smooth carved out logs that gave it a nice stand out. She had built in a porch that was nicely covered by a ceiling to give that part of the house some shade from the sun. About four sets of logs supported the bottom part of the roof, giving it a nice texture. She cut down a few of the trees around the land, leaving only a couple to give it more space. Emma built in some steps made entirely of log as well, carved out finely into a smooth flat surface. There were about three steps, that continued by another set of four steps. Stones were buried and placed beside them, causing them to pop out more. As an entire border of rocks and stones were placed underneath the cabin as the base.
She was thinking about painting it at first, but then decided to leave it as is.
The only thing she continued doing was raking the leaves around the land. Emma wanted there to be a visible pathway.
The only sounds that were heard that night were the crickets as they sang, followed by the leaves being raked, followed by the blonde's exhausted breathing. That was until she heard another set of footsteps coming her way, which caused her to stop as she stared out into the darkness, just waiting for whatever or whoever was out there to show themselves. Her eyes squinting as a rather tall, male figure began to approach.
She may have a few drinks in her, but her body was always on alert.
"At ease, soldier. I'm unarmed."
Green eyes grew wide at the sound of a familiar voice that spoke out, followed by a scruffy face that came into the light, only half of it anyway, as the other half was still in a shadow. But, Emma could recognize that face anywhere. Or maybe she was too drunk. She had to be, because there was no way August Booth could be standing before her now.
Had she gone crazy?
She had to be hallucinating due to too much drinking.
The next thing that was heard as August, (or August's ghost?) approached her was the clanking of the rake being dropped on the bare hard dirt.
Emma couldn't think of anything to say at that moment, just to move towards the man standing before her. And she did, slowly and calmly, maybe with a bit of fear, she moved towards him until she had him inches apart.
"Damn. It's good to see you alive and well, Swan." August breathed out with a small smile. "I heard about you becoming a big time author. Although, I never imagined you living in this…" His eyes moved towards the cabin then back to Emma's surprised green ones.
"August?" Emma was finally able to say, her eyes unable to blink as they looked into the man's eyes. It was him. He was standing right in front of her- alive. She could never mistake him with anyone. Booth was one of those unmistakable people to Emma.
He nodded, too afraid to reach out and hug his long time friend. "I know what you must be thinking. My father was pretty surprised too. He's the one who told me where you'd be."
"How?" Emma's voice was a whisper, "How are you here? I… I was told you were dead. That you didn't make it. I- I mourned you for six fucking years! You're father-!"
"I know." August jumped in, his head hanging in shame as his eyes met with Emma's once again, "You have every right to be angry at me, Emma."
"Angry?" Emma's eyes darkened, "You think I'm just angry?"
"You have every right. My father is. But," He sighed, "Emma, I wasn't myself for those six years. I was… I was someone else. I was fucked up. You better than anyone should know how that goes." He paused, "You go out there, fighting a battle that isn't yours to fight because others are too afraid to do it themselves and you get lost. I lost myself, for a long time." As he stepped closer, causing Emma to take a few steps backward, his entire face came into light, revealing that one of his eyes was a shade lighter than the other. It was as if it had a cotton liked blanket over it. Emma knew then, that due to the explosion, his vision in that eye was no good. The same side of his face was a bit scared. He had received major part of the damage that night. She remembered it well.
Emma looked down at the man's hand as it moved before her, noticing it was a prosthetic one, made especially for him. It was a robotic one, but he kept it covered with a black leather glove.
"It's funny how you can still feel parts of your body that are no longer there," he chuckled, "I'm wiggling my toes right now." He tried to joke to ease the blonde's tension. "I have that horrible accident on my way to a hospital and the next thing I know- I wake up a cyborg. A new arm, a new leg. And one good eye." He paused, "I went crazy. I attacked everyone in that room, had a very bad reaction to…" he looked down at his robotic leg, "All this." His eyes meeting Emma's, who were shedding tears now, "I wanted to call you, so many times, but… you wouldn't have recognized me and the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you or my father. I didn't want you to see me that way."
Crickets continued to sing as Emma finally moved, lunging forward, throwing her entire body towards August in the most needed hug she ever did need. He always gave her the best bear hugs ever.
August sighed as his arms wrapped around Emma's even tighter, "It's great to see you, kid. I missed you, Em. You have no idea how much I missed you."
Emma sighed out a chuckle, "I missed you too, you asshole."
August chuckled, "I deserve that." He parted from their hug, his eyes studying the blonde's changed but similar complexion. "You got more drinks? I'd say we have a lot to catch up on."
Emma laughed a light laugh, her arm wrapping around the man's form as his did the same around hers, patting her gently on the back as she invited him to sit on the porch for the night.
Both leaned up against a log, as they remained seated on the steps of the cabin, already having drank a few more beers. In a matter of hours, Emma had managed to fill August in on everything that had happened since they last saw each other. To her ending up in Germany, to meeting Regina and every single detail of their relationship, to now. It felt peaceful, uplifting to let everything out in detail to someone. Even Archie wouldn't get the full details of her life when attending those sessions. Because with August it was different. With August, she not only lived an untimely bond, but they both shared the most horrific events they could ever come to face.
It was then, Emma realized how much she had missed him. Not that she didn't know before, but she really needed him throughout those years that passed. Emma strongly believed that had August been around, things would have been much lighter on her.
If there was someone who could truly understand all of her, to the very last detail- it was August Booth.
"Oh…" August closed his eyes as he swallowed another chug of beer, the taste lingering in his mouth as he savored every last bit of it. He had missed simple things like this.
"Where were you all those years, August?" Emma finally asked.
There was a moment of silence, that only the crickets filled before he said anything to the blonde.
"Netherlands." His reply was calm, given that the alcohol they had both consumed had already gotten to them enough to relax them.
"Netherlands? How?"
He sighed, pointing to his face and eye, "I got this from the bomb that went off that night. But, this…" He tapped on his prosthetic leg, "Came from that explosion in the ambulance. It wasn't completely destroyed. Obviously, if I'm here talking to you," He chuckled, "But, it did manage to fuck up my leg bad enough that… they had no choice but to amputate." He smirked as he said his joke, "From soldier to terminator, huh, Swan?"
Emma chuckled a light chuckle, looking the man over. He sure looked beat, both physically and emotionally. He was right. She could understand that better than anyone. His beard had grown just a little too since the last time she saw him.
He took another drink, "They were going to transfer me to the red cross facility in Germany, where you were. But, I was more dead than alive and I did hear them say that the hospital was full enough as it was. So, I got sent to the Netherlands where I woke up with a group of young doctors all staring at me as if I was fucking Robocop." He chuckled, his eyes tearing up for the first time since Emma had seen him. His head shook at the memory of that place, "I felt so out of it, you know? My brain was still back there in that field with you. I just… I snapped when they tried to come near me. I broke a guy's jaw, and another one's leg."
Emma reached out for the man's shoulder, providing it with a gentle squeeze, "I'm sorry." Was all she could say.
August smiled, patting the blonde's shoulder, "Don't beat yourself up about it, kid. I appreciate you keeping my father company over the years."
Emma looked down at the dog tags that hung around her neck, showing them off to August as she held the burnt one between her fingers, "I tried giving him this. After all, it was yours, but he said it needed to stay with another good person."
"And he was right. I'm glad you kept it." August nodded, leaning back against the log post, "So, Regina… looks like you finally found that true love in between all that war, huh?"
Emma sighed, her back resting against the post, "I don't really know what Regina is anymore."
"Sounds like true love to me." His brow raised.
Emma chuckled, moving her bottle close to her lips, "If that were so, she wouldn't have broken up with me, August."
"It doesn't sound to me like it was intentional." He shrugged.
Emma placed her bottle down on the porch, becoming angry, "Are you kidding me? She broke it off! She said I needed to grow up, that it was a mistake!"
"We all have to sacrifice something, Emma." August's voice was calm, "Maybe she had to sacrifice you. I don't know her, I couldn't see what you two were like together, that's true. But, from what you've just told me on how she loved you. That kiss you two shared last night…" He paused, "Now, you know this Robin guy, you saw him that night in her apartment when he showed up drunk. How tense she would get around him, like when you two went on a date and spotted him at that bar. Right?"
Emma's brows furrowed, waiting for him to continue.
"Only she knows what she lived with that man, Em. But she never bothered to share it with you, did she? Because as well as she knew that you have your secrets, your stories from that war that we don't want to share with anyone. She has hers too."
"It's not like I didn't know that, August." Emma grew annoyed.
"Then, think about it, Em. Maybe she had to lie to you to save you. Just because you fought out in that battlefield, does not mean you aren't meant to be saved too, soldier. We all need saving." He paused, his eyes focused on Emma's, "Some sacrifices are just bigger than others. If you could always read her very well, then she had to be as convincing as ever to trick you."
Like a flash of light, Regina's words came to her mind, 'I should have been honest with you from the very beginning and save you all this heartache.'
The kiss they shared last night played in the back of her mind like a scene on a repeat. Some parts were a bit fuzzy due to her intoxication but were clearing up now that she thought about them and August's words knocked on her brain like a sledgehammer. She could always read Regina very well, but that day Regina was as cold as ice. She was holding herself back from saying what really was going on with her. Just like she was when they had first met. Emma had to be persistent to get her to finally go on a date with her. And even after she did, and they started dating, there were parts of her she still didn't know about and never bothered to ask because everyone was entitled to their privacy.
But what really got to her was how Regina had replied to her kiss that night. Sure, she had pushed her away, but then kissed her right back. And what a kiss it was. Regina wanted to get lost in her again, in her embrace.
Someone who intentionally wanted to hurt you doesn't bother apologizing, even after six years.
Damn her and her anger. But, she was angry. She couldn't help it.
But now with talking to August about it, everything just made much more sense and it was as if something had hit her over the head with the force of a wrecking ball.
But how could that change things now? Regina was still with Robin, willingly or not, she was there and probably back in New York. And now, there was Henry. Her son. If she were to come back into the brunette's life, how could a little boy understand that? More importantly, could things work out again? Be how they used to be before any of it went to shit?
"I thought I heard the old man say, Leave her Johnny, leave her…" August's singing disrupted the soldier's thoughts as she couldn't help but smile at the man's singing to one of their songs they would sing while they were out in the desert, with nothing but the night stars to keep them company. "Tomorrow you will get your pay, and it's time for us to leave her."
Emma soon joined in, as they both continued singing throughout the night.
"Leave her Johnny, leave her. Oh, leave her Johnny, leave her. For the voyage is long and the winds don't blow and it's time for us to leave her."
Regina walked into one of her favorite restaurants in New York. She was seated quickly to her reserved booth, happy to be away from Robin. Not that he spent so much time in their home lately, not since he had Zelena. Which, if the brunette was being honest, she was glad for. Mostly it was just her and Henry at home. She feared that once she arrived back from Boston, she would hear an earful from him on her kissing Emma or her being in the same bar as the blonde. But, that didn't happen.
"Ma'am?" A waiter set down an ice bucket with a bottle of Dom Perignon already cold and icing. He lifted the bottle up as the brunette raised her glass up.
"Don't trouble yourself, dear. I'll take care of that for her." A woman, a little older than Regina removed her coat, handing it over to the waiter as he quickly took it, placing the bottle back inside the ice bucket. Which the older blonde quickly took, filling up Regina's cup first, followed by her own.
Their eyes connected with one another. The brunette's studying the older woman's movements as she joined her inside the booth.
"Regina. I couldn't believe it when you contacted me."
"I couldn't believe it either." Replied Regina.
"Here I thought my letter would go unanswered."
"How are you, Mal?" Asked the brunette, taking a much needed sip of her champagne.
Mal savored the champagne as she too took a sip, "Mm, I appreciate you ordering my favorite. You remembered," She smirked.
Regina chuckled, "Hard to forget. A lifetime ago, this was what you would order for us on our dates."
Mal chuckled, "I was never the romantic type, was I?" The woman's eyes observed the brunette with ease, just like she always would ever since they met. "I heard about your late husband. I'm very sorry."
"Thank you."
"He seemed like a good man." Said Mal.
"He was." Replied Regina.
"I can't imagine him being to dear Cora's liking."
"No one was ever to her liking." Regina chuckled, "Not even her dear friend."
Mal chuckled, "I could see why your mother would be surprised by our time together."
Regina's brow raised, "Sounds like something my mother would say. Is that what she called our relationship once upon a time ago?"
The older woman sighed, "I can see why you would still be angry with me. I did break your heart after all, and left you in exchange for money."
"Money I can see has served its purpose. You seem to be doing quite well." The brunette's reply should have been dry, but it wasn't. Far from it. Mal had hurt her, by leaving her after Cora offered her money to do so. But, after her encounter with Emma, Regina had remembered herself well being in her situation. Only differently, of course. And now, with contacting her she hoped to put it behind her. Put her anger behind her, just like she hoped Emma would with her someday.
"I suppose I deserve that." Mal nodded, taking a sip from her glass, "I never did apologize. But, if it's any consolation. There isn't a day that has gone by where I haven't thought of you and our time together."
Regina's eyes filled with tears that she instantly held back.
"I know that look, dear. You're here to mend our differences because you too have made the same mistake. You've hurt someone." She paused, her eyes studying the brunette, "Haven't you?" She chuckled at her surprised look.
After a while, Regina filled Mal in on everything. From her time after Daniel's death, to meeting Robin, to meeting Emma, allowing herself to truly love again, to having Henry. The older blonde carefully listening with all the time in the world.
"You've lived quite a story, haven't you? And this Emma…" Mal spoke, after hearing Regina out, "She still loves you?"
Regina exhaled a sharp breath, the feel of the blonde's lips still lingering on hers. "I'd like to think that she does, yes."
There was a hint of a smile on Mal's lips as she listened to the brunette's reply. One thing Regina loved about her was that she was wise beyond her years. Always was.
"Well, then there's your answer, dear."
Regina chuckled, "I know what you're about to say, Mal. We knew each other for a long time, we could practically read each other's minds, remember?"
"How could I forget?" Mal enjoyed another sip of the champagne, "And I can tell you from our relationship that we would have never worked out in the end."
"What makes you say that?" Regina's brow raised, surprised that Mal had even referred to what they had as a relationship. The woman had never used that word before to describe what they used to have. "That leaving me all those years ago was the best thing you could have done?"
"No, dear. Leaving you was certainly a mistake. You are a hell of a woman, Regina," She chuckled, "Always were. Too much of a woman for me, I'm afraid. I realized that since the very first time we met." She paused, "For Emma however… you might just be the perfect one. Besides, you seem to have a thing for soldiers. And blonde's."
Regina's lips curved into a small smile, her cheeks turned a shade of pink at how well Mel could read her. "Emma certainly knew how to work her way into my heart."
"Until Robin destroyed that." She looked into the brunette's eyes, seeing all the anger lingering for him, "Maybe you should be the one to surprise her this time. Pay her a visit."
"It's not that simple, Mal."
"Why ever not, dear?" Asked Mal, chuckling, "Robin sounds like he is too preoccupied with his new love interest to give a damn about what you do with your time anymore. Not to mention your son lately from what you've told me."
"He could still figure out what I would be up to."
"Hm." Mal enjoyed the last sip from her cup, filling both cups up again, "What if I were to tell you that I could make that problem go away for you? Would you look for her?"
Look for Emma? Freely, without a spy on her heels to report back to Robin?
Regina chuckled, "This is crazy. I wouldn't even know where to look."
Mal raised a brow, "You know she lives in Boston. You know of her hometown. I'm sure she wouldn't be too hard to find, dear." She chuckled, "You must certainly love this girl to become this worried."
"I hurt her, Mal. I deserve anything she would want to say to me, but if she tells me she never wants to see me again. That would kill me." A sadness lingered in the brunette's voice.
Mal sighed, "Well, I'm afraid that's a risk you're just going to have to take. But ask yourself this question. Do you really want to go on with your life wondering about the what if, living in fear over a man who is more of a coward than you think?" She chuckled, "He'd have to be, to resort to blackmail in order to have you. Or are you ready to prove to yourself how much of a woman you truly are and face what fears you the most?"
What fears her the most… she couldn't even begin to explain what she was feeling at that moment as Mal provided her with words of encouragement. Encouragement that even frightened her to feel, because right now all she wanted. All she always wanted was to do exactly that. Look for Emma and talk things out, hoping she would listen to the real truth.
"Why help me? After all this time." Regina couldn't help but ask.
"Because I wouldn't want you to become what I've become, Regina."
As Mal had promised, she had found out who Robin's spy was and was able to convince him herself about putting a stop to all of it. Of course, while still feeding Robin false information. She paid him well, even more than Robin ever did.
And at the first call the brunette received from Mal, instructing her that it was safe for her to move about freely again. She did. For the first time in what felt like forever, she lied to Robin about another conference back in Boston, leaving Henry in his care, knowing he would care for his son. Because he would. If there was anything Robin truly loved in this world, it was Henry.
The brunette quickly packed a few clothes, driving herself to Kathryn's. Pounding on her apartment door.
"Regina?" Kathryn's surprised look said it all.
"I need a favor. Could you drive me to the airport?" Asked Regina, her heart pounding inside her chest like drums.
"The airport? Sure, but why? What's going on?"
Regina sighed, a smile spreading across her face. A smile she hadn't felt form on her lips in a long time, "I'm going to Boston. I'm going to find Emma."
Luckily, once Regina arrived in Boston, she knew exactly who to call. Someone who would know exactly where Emma would be.
She smiled as she saw Ingrid's car waiting for her as she made her way out of the airport. "Thank you for coming, Ingrid."
Ingrid smiled, taking the brunette's luggage from her as she loaded it in the car, shutting the door, "Just fix things with her, Regina. That's thanks enough."