#
An hour later, Snape was sitting on one of the stools with his book. He'd brought it into the lab to read while Freddie worked.
"Time for lunch," he said, standing up suddenly.
"What? No, my potion-"
"Will be fine for 15 minutes," he said, placing a stasis spell on it. "Come."
"Ugh," she said, grabbing her cloak and making sure Hemlock was in her pocket. "Fine. I hate you sometimes."
"Only sometimes?" he said mockingly. "I'll have to ride you harder then."
Freddie fought to keep the blush from her face as her mind ran away with his words. She walked ahead of him up the stairs out of the dungeon so he couldn't see her face. As she entered the Great Hall she stopped short.
The stares were back, dozens of eyes on her. The whispers started. Then Snape walked in behind her with his most unfriendly of faces on and people stopped staring.
"Go. Eat," Snape said to her. She nodded and walked over to the Slytherin table.
She saw her classmates – Maggie, Christine, the girls she usually sat with. But nobody made eye contact with her, nobody made room for her to sit. She glanced at the Ravenclaw table, subconsciously looking for Daniel, but of course he wasn't there. She exhaled slowly and walked down to the end of the Slytherin Table and sat down.
She put a chicken salad sandwich on her plate and nibbled at it. She sipped pumpkin juice, even though she had never really liked pumpkin juice, but it didn't matter. It was the closest carafe, anything else and she would've had to ask someone to pass it to her. And it didn't matter. Everything tasted the same.
She could hear them whispering about her. Down the table, across both sides, even across the hall.
"She killed him."
"Covered in blood-"
"Her parents are murderers too. I heard they're in Azkaban."
"-think she escaped from the psych ward-"
Freddie put her juice down and pushed back from the table. She got up and left the Great Hall. She made herself walk slowly, clutching Hemlock in her pocket.
I'm not running. I am not running. I'm no Gryffindor, but I don't run away.
But she did. As soon as she reached the dungeons, she ran to Snape's office and sealed herself inside. She collapsed into his chair and put her head down on his desk.
She didn't cry. She didn't have anything left into her to cry. She was angry. She was frustrated. She took a few deep breaths to steady herself then headed into the Brewing Room to focus on her work.
#
Freddie stayed in the Brewing Room for the rest of the day. Snape came back in after lunch but didn't mention her leaving the Great Hall early. She stayed and worked on her potions until Snape sent her to bed.
She had a restless night, tossing and turning. She dozed intermittently but when she did she dreamed of Daniel. Dreamed her was out there, in the forest, calling for her. After a particularly vivid dream, she woke with tears streaming down her face. She sat up in bed and wiped them away, clutching Hemlock to her chest.
She checked her watch. It was almost 4 a.m. There was no one to stop her from going outside. She got dressed quickly, not bothering to be quiet. She didn't care if she woke the other girls. Evidently they were all too scared of her to even look at her now.
She applied her Disillusionment Charm, picked up Hemlock, and left the dormitory. The charm didn't work on the plush kneazle so she tried to focus her magic on making him invisible, they way she had in the hospital.
Try as she might she couldn't get Hemlock to turn invisible, but, as luck would have it, she didn't run into anyone as she left the castle. She crossed the snow-covered grounds quickly, heading for the spot she'd last seen Daniel.
As she got closer, she could have sworn she heard music. She glanced back over her shoulder and saw a dark figure emerging from the castle. She darted into the trees, worried she'd been spotted.
"Raven hair and ruby lips, sparks fly from her fingertips. Echoed voices in the night, she's a restless spirit on an endless flight."
No doubt about it. Someone was playing the Eagles.
"Daniel?" she called softly, trying to follow the sound of the music through the trees. She walked aimlessly, listening carefully, trying to figure out which direction the music was coming from but it seemed to be coming from all around her. She clutched Hemlock tightly, turning in a circle as Witchy Woman echoed all around her.
"Winifred," Snape said as he stepped out of the trees behind her. He was wearing his pajamas and boots with his cloak thrown over his sleeping attire. He looked tired and annoyed. "Winifred you can't keep-"
"Shh," she hissed at him. "Do you hear that?"
Snape was silent a moment.
"Hear what?" he asked.
"The music," she said. It was growing fainter, as if it were moving away. She started to follow it farther into the forest but Snape grabbed her arm.
"Snap out of it," he said, tapping her with his wand so that she became visible. "There's no music. You're dreaming."
"I'm not," she insisted. "I hear it, it's Daniel, he's playing my song."
She tried to pull away but he held her arm tightly.
"Winifred," he said, exasperated. "You have to stop this. There's no music. Daniel...is not here."
Freddie looked longingly into the darkness. The music had grown so faint now she could barely hear it. Then the song ended and it didn't start again. She looked up into Snape's tired face, his eyes glittering in the moonlight.
"You really couldn't hear it?" she whispered.
"There was no music, Winifred. You were dreaming."
"I'm not! I'm wide awake – I can't sleep, how can I sleep knowing he's out here." She looked out into the darkness of the trees and started to pull away.
"Enough!" he said harshly, pulling her back to face him. "That's enough Winifred. Daniel is gone and if you keep talking like this they'll send you back to St Mungo's – to the 'loony bin'. Is that what you want?!"
Tears filled her eyes and she tried to blink them away. She looked down at her feet as a hot tear streaked down her cheek. Snape loosened his grip but kept his hand on her arm as she used both arms to hug Hemlock.
"He could still be out here," she said miserably, hating the way her voice cracked. "He's a wizard, he could survive. He could be hiding or – or someone could have taken him! Maybe a werewolf! That would be okay! He can be a werewolf, I'll brew the Wolfsbane for him, every month for him for the rest of his life. He can come back. Or maybe – maybe someone bad kidnapped him, maybe a Dark Wizard!"
Snape's hand twitched and she looked up at him hopefully but his face was somber.
"Winifred...the amount of blood on your robes when they found you...there is no way he could have survived."
Freddie wrenched herself away from him, tried to step away but sank to her knees in the snow. She hugged Hemlock, trying not to hear the words Snape had just said. But she was remembering the hot, sticky feeling of blood all over her, the sickening scent that filled her nostrils and threatened to choke her.
"I did not want to tell you," Snape said, kneeling beside her in the snow. He put his hand on her back awkwardly. "I am...sorry."
Freddie didn't say anything. She didn't know what to say but she knew if she opened her mouth she'd start sobbing and never stop. Snape sat with her for several minutes, not speaking either, just holding his hand against her back.
Freddie wished the music would come back. She wanted Snape to hear it, to know that she wasn't dreaming, that she wasn't crazy.
I'm not crazy, I know I'm not crazy, I'm not. He's still alive, he can't be dead. He's somewhere...he has to be...
"We need to go back to the castle," Snape said finally. Freddie nodded and he stood up.
"I'm not going to carry you this time," he said with a slight smirk, then offered her his hand. She took his hand and he helped her to her feet.
"Come," he said, letting go of her hand.
Not knowing what else to do, Freddie followed him.
"How did you find me?" she asked as they left the forest.
"The floating cat tipped me off."
"He's not a cat, he's a kneazle, and that's not what I meant. Is there like a bell or something that goes off every time I- ...You put some kind of tracer spell on me, didn't you?!"
Snape did not answer, did not even look down at her.
"That's not fair, that's got to be illegal or something, you can't just-"
"I can in fact. I am going my job-"
"Oh like you were doing your job when you did that – that thing in the Hospital Wing where you rifled through my brain?" she demanded.
Snape stopped short in the middle of the snow-covered grounds and looked at her.
"Yes," he said through gritted teeth. "When the Headmaster tells me to do something, I have to do it. Whether I like it or not, it's my job."
"Damn you job and damn the Headmaster!" she snarled, the snow rising around her feet in angry flurries.
"Winifred!"
"He thinks I killed Daniel! Everyone does – all the staring and the whispers! Everyone thinks that he's dead and that I killed him!"
Snape stared at her, silent. He continued to stare until the snow that her anger had stirred up had settled.
"I do not believe you killed him," he said quietly.
"You don't?" she whispered, looking up at him.
"No. He was your best friend, you loved him-"
"I don't..." she trailed off, then shook her head slightly. She did love Daniel, that didn't mean she was in love with him.
"I do not know what happened out there, Winifred, no one does. But I do not think that you killed him."
"...You're just saying that to make me feel better," she muttered, kicking at the snow.
"I do not do that. Come. It's cold," he said, continuing towards the castle.
Freddie followed, thinking about what he said. It was true. He wasn't the sort of person who said things just to make people feel better. Quite the opposite.
He believes me, she realized, feeling a sense of relief. Snape believes me. He's on my side.
They stepped into the Entrance Hall and saw Albus Dumbledore coming down the Grand Staircase, looking cheerful and awake.
"Severus?" he said, raising an eyebrow at them, his blue eyes on Freddie.
"I'm handling it," Snape said gruffly.
The Headmaster nodded and Snape led her down the stairs into the dungeons.
Instead of taking her back to her Common Room, Snape led her to his office.
"Would you like some tea?" he asked, closing the door behind them. "It's almost morning and you have a potion to tend to at 6 – unless you'd rather go back to bed?"
"I'm not tired," she said, shaking her head.
Snape sat at his desk and called Noelle for tea. Freddie stood in front of the fireplace a moment, letting the fire dry her pants that were wet from the snow.
"Earl Grey please, Noelle," Snape said when the elf appeared.
"Yes Master Snape. Can Noelle brings breakfast? We is making it now," the elf said.
"That will be fine."
Freddie stood a minute longer, then sat in her usual chair. She shed her hat, scarf, and cloak and put them in the chair next to her. Noelle returned with a pot of tea and enough food to feed half a dozen people. Snape sighed and thanked the elf.
He poured them both a cup of tea. Freddie took hers with a mumbled 'thank you'. She picked up a slice of ham from the platter Noelle had brought and nibbled on it. Snape took a long drink of his tea then sighed again.
"I want you to promise you won't go out into the forest alone again, Winifred."
Freddie put her cup down and looked at her feet. She didn't say anything. She couldn't promise him that. If there was any chance that Daniel might still be out there...
"He's not out there, Winifred. If he was they would have found him. He's...not there."
"Are you doing that Legilimens thing to me again?" she demanded, face flushing.
"I did not have to," he retorted. "Promise me you will not go into the forest alone again, Gray – especially in the middle of the night."
"Fine," she muttered, and looked up at him. "I promise I won't go into the forest alone, especially in the middle of the night while you're getting your beauty sleep."
He scoffed at her and Freddie smirked slightly.
"Eat your breakfast," he said. "You have a potion to tend."