A/N: Griffin has lost her Christmas spirit just like she thinks she's lost her best friend, but miracles do happen at Christmas when your heart is full of love. No magic AU.

What do you want for Christmas?" Faragonda asked as she left her bag on the small coffee table that currently only sported a cup of green tea that Griffin loved to drink. It went with all the activities she enjoyed which was why she didn't feel like drinking it at the moment.

"I want you to leave me to read in peace," Griffin said without moving her gaze from the book she was holding. Faragonda had let herself in when she hadn't gotten up to open the door. She usually wasn't one to be unable to take hints so she must have ignored it and barged inside her apartment even though she knew she wasn't wanted.

"Come on, Griffin!" Faragonda whined as she plopped herself down on the couch, bumping into Griffin on purpose to draw her attention. All it drew was more venom to the surface. "I need you to give me a hint."

"I thought you'd be spending Christmas with Saladin," Griffin said as she kept her eyes on the book. She couldn't look over at Faragonda lest she saw the hurt her words may have caused her friend in her eyes. It would make her soften and she couldn't allow that, for she was already too close to falling apart. "You won't have time for me," she said and she wished she could ascribe the tears in her eyes to the fact that she was staring so hard at the page it was a miracle she hadn't bore a hole into it already.

"Of course I'll have time for you," Faragonda said as she wrapped her arms around Griffin's shoulders and her warmth was making Griffin's heart melt from the frozen cage it had been locked into after she'd seen her best friend kissing with Saladin at her office. She'd had some free time and she'd wanted to ask her to go grab a cup of tea together but instead of a hot drink and a warm conversation, she'd gotten the freezing realization that that was what Faragonda had been keeping from her. "I'll always have time for you," Faragonda said in a quiet voice as she rested her head against Griffin's shoulder as if she couldn't take the burden of Griffin's accusation. "Nothing's changed between us," she tried to reassure but all it managed to do was make Griffin's teeth grind.

"Please, leave," Griffin spoke slowly, opening her mouth as much as the words would allow to make sure she wouldn't break her teeth from gritting them together so hard.

Faragonda let go of her, sitting up, and it was like the sun had disappeared forever but it was better that way than only getting some leftover rays. "Okay," Faragonda said, her voice raspy or perhaps that was just the edge of Griffin's thoughts that made it seem like that, "but we will celebrate Christmas together so you'd better give me some pointers when it comes to your present."

Griffin closed her eyes and focused on breathing deeply. In and out. In and out. Focus on the air in her lungs not the burning in her heart.

"I could get you a book but you have to tell me which one you want. Or at least drop some hints because I don't want to get you something you've already read. You should probably send me a list of the books you have since I doubt I can remember the titles of all of them. Or I could get you a plant? If you have where to put it."

Griffin's eyes snapped open and she dropped the book in her lap before turning to Faragonda who was looking around as if trying to figure out how big a plant she could fit in the empty space the apartment offered. She grasped Faragonda's chin and turned her head towards her. "Are you going to stop talking any time soon?" she asked because her nerves couldn't take much more of that. There was only one thing she wanted but it was better to just accept it would never happen instead of breaking her own heart with empty hope.

Faragonda swallowed and shook her head. She either couldn't talk now that she'd realized how close their faces were or it was because Griffin was holding her jaw. Or it might have been because she'd finally figured out what her presence was doing to Griffin and why she'd been avoiding her ever since she'd seen her with Saladin.

"You won't give up on this present thing, will you?" Griffin asked.

Faragonda shook her head again, but this time it seemed like she didn't want to talk, it seemed like she was afraid of ruining the moment. And Griffin couldn't miss the opportunity. It could be the only one she had.

She leaned in and touched her lips to Faragonda's just barely, letting go of her chin and closing her eyes because she was afraid of her friend's reaction. She didn't want to see her pulling away and leaving. She couldn't see her walking out on her to never come back again after she'd ruined what they had because she'd been selfish in wanting more, in wanting Faragonda for herself when she didn't deserve her after the heartache she'd caused her with her behavior the past few weeks.

She barely held back the surprised moan that was on its way out when Faragonda pressed her lips against hers harder and moved them slowly, almost not at all, allowing the feeling of fullness and wholeness to sink in. It was like she'd found her complementary puzzle piece. Faragonda was like a natural extension of her being, like the part she'd been missing, and now that they'd been put together her thoughts and feelings ran to completion like they hadn't been able to before. She felt like a whole person for the first time, like a person she could love when Faragonda was bringing out the best parts of her.

They had to pull apart for air, though she doubted she could breathe well when she was feeling the emptiness of Faragonda's absence. To her surprise, she was still there when she opened her eyes and hadn't disappeared like a product of her wishful thinking. She was there and she was looking at her with a gaze full of expectation. Like she was waiting for permission to touch Griffin's heart and reach their joint being.

"Did I make myself clear?" Griffin asked, unsure of how she found her voice but glad she had. Now at least Faragonda could make her decision with open eyes just like she had when she'd decided to show her feelings despite the very probable consequences of losing her best friend.

Faragonda nodded, still not saying anything and Griffin was afraid that she would never get to hear another word from her again. But she still couldn't make herself regret the moment of total clarity that the kiss had provided. It had become clear to her, indeed, what she wanted and how much she wanted it.

"Goo-"

She hadn't even gotten the whole word out when Faragonda kissed her again and this time it wasn't just their lips that were touching. Faragonda came closer and pressed herself into Griffin, allowing their souls to touch fully and caress each other with the devotion and care that had always been a part of their friendship. For they'd loved each other all along and it was now clear to both of them.