Mob had a very good reason to be outside on the hottest day of the year.
And that reason was named Kageyama Shigeo.
She checked her phone. His train should have been coming in soon. The 12:05 frim Baked Goods City. Well the line started a lot farther up than that but it was coming in from Baked Goods City. A long trip. She felt the bottle of milk in her bag. Good, it hadn't gotten warm yet. She had made an effort to stand in the shade. It was hot, the start of summer, and it would only get hotter as the summer wore on. Thank God they had finally gotten some proper air conditioning. The summers had been unbearable, before, but now they would be tolerable. An air conditioner in every room. They could finally afford it.
One for her and her husband.
One for her son and her daughter.
One in the living/dining room.
He had complained about the electric bill, her husband, but he had complained even more about the heat over the years. When it came time to replace the air conditioner, it had to come out of their own money since the landlord said that theirs was still technically operational, suddenly they had more important things to spend their money on. They didn't have a lot of it, true, but Mob was not spending another summer simmering in the heat.
Not in her present condition, anyway.
The train pulled in right on time. Mob watched it slow down and then come to a stop. She scanned the crowds of departing passengers. A few auras, dim ones, nothing like her son's. Shigeo had inherited her gifts. It hadn't even been a question of whether or not he would end up an esper. Everyone knew that he would considering who his parents were.
She felt his aura before she saw him.
There, a dot of purple in a sea of people. She saw his aura and then she saw him. The top of his head, first, his hair all puffed up and wild. She frowned. He was too old now, much too old, for her to plop the bowl down on his head and get to cutting. She still did that for her own bangs, she saw nothing wrong with the bowl cut, but had been forbidden from going anywhere near her daughter's hair with a pair of scissors. She really didn't get it. The bow-cut had been working for her since she was three years old…but then again neither of her children had inherited her hair type.
She wondered if this one would.
The puffy, fluffy, tuft of hair got closer. The crowd parted as it got to the exit. She could see him more clearly, now, her son. Shigeo. Fourteen and…and tall. Very tall. She hadn't seen him in person since Christmas. The closest she had come was Skyping him…and he had never stood up for those. Wow. He was almost as tall as Ritsu!
"Shige. You grew." Said Mob as her son stopped in front of her. Now the difference in their heights had become more pronounced. She was still only one hundred and fifty three centimeters tall. She had stopped growing when she was about his age. The doctor said that tended to happen when one had a child when they were still growing. Shigeo must have been about one hundred and seventy five centimeters tall, now, and it was…when had he gotten that tall?
"Yeah…I grew a lot this year…um…so did you…" said Shigeo. His eyes drifted lower. He read her shirt. Precious cargo. She watched his aura. He was…surprised? But she had told him about Shoko many times…but even at thirty, well not quite thirty, she was not the best at communicating. With words, anyway.
"Yes. Shoko's almost done now. Do you want to say 'hi'?" said Mob. She poked at Shoko a little to get her kicking again. The other two, Shigeo and Takako, hadn't kicked as much as Shoko did. If Mob didn't know better she would have sworn that Shoko was twins, or maybe even triplets, but now she was just one kid. She was just a lot like her father.
The things she did for her family.
Not that she was complaining. She would do anything for her little brother and his not entirely legally wed husband.
"Hi…hi little sister…little cousin! Sorry, little cousin." Said Shigeo as he rested his hand on her stomach. Shoko was kicking on her own, now, even though she barely had any room. Shigeo had hardly kicked at all. It had been enough to worry her…well everything had worried her back then. Her and everyone she knew.
Things were better now.
"It's ok. We're not even sure what she'll be…I mean what the government will call her, I mean." Said Mob.
"I hope nobody makes fun of her." said Shigeo
"I hope so, too…and I hope that they aren't making fun of you again, Shige." Said Mob. People had always made fun of her when she was growing up and history repeated itself when it came to her son. People had teased him all the way back when he was in preschool. That had been the adults that started it. People seemed to think that because she was so young it was ok to say all kinds of things…and she didn't know why. She had been fifteen when she had him, that was kind of young, but it wasn't like there was some magic age when it became acceptable to have children.
Though she did hope that Shigeo waited at least until he was done with school. Middle school and high school.
"They never stopped." Said Shigeo. Mob reached out and took his hand. Seasoning City, Baked Goods City, even that city that Tome swore existed on the moon people were alike all over it seemed. She didn't know why people made fun of Shigeo. He was such a good boy, the best son she could have asked for. Well he was her only son so she may have been a little bit biased but to her he was the best of her and his father. She just wished that other people could see him the way she saw him.
"Is it still about-" said Mob
"Yeah…and about a million other new things too." Said Shigeo quietly. She could see it, a flare in his aura. She took in that extra energy before he lost control of his powers. He had done that a lot when he was younger. That was the main reason that she had kept him in Seasoning City for so long. There was only one other esper in existence that could give and take energy and he was serving several consecutive life sentences….and also Mob didn't really like him that much, either. Not enough to leave her son with him. He was older now, he didn't need her by his side constantly to make sure he didn't end up breaking anything or anyone, but she still helped him out just to be safe.
"Mom….knock it off. I'm not a little kid anymore. I'm not going to lose control." Said Shigeo, his eyes downcast almost as if he thought that other people could see what was happening and judge him for it. He was fourteen now, a teenager, and he didn't want his mother hovering over him anymore…and she understood that. He was older and wanted his independence and all of that…but she was still his mother no matter how old he got.
"I know you aren't a child anymore. I just got worried. I forgot how good your control is. It's a lot better than mine was when I was your age. Mine and your dad's-" said Mob
"Dad says hi." Said Shigeo
"Tell him that I said hi back." Said Mob quickly. She and Katsuya…they didn't speak much these days….and never about anything other than Shigeo. His grades, his wellbeing, things like that. There was nothing else, really, to talk about. They had done all of their talking, and shouting, all of those years ago. When she broke up with him and he went back to his mother and she had their son all alone…
Well not entirely alone.
"Where's Reigen and Takako?" asked Shigeo
"They're keeping our place in line. If you're not there when they call your table they don't wait, they just skip you." Said Mob. She tried to take her son's bag but he just picked it up and threw it over his shoulder. There it was, that independence thing. No matter how long Mob lived she would never understand what was so embarrassing about having your mom help you out. Her mom had been in invaluable help when Shigeo was born. Well once she threw out her voice from yelling and got a stern talking to from the cops for hitting people. Arataka still had that scar through his eyebrow from when she hit him with her ring hand, though, and Katsuya's mother never did end up getting that chipped tooth filled in…but that was years ago and mom was still going to her anger and drinking meetings and she was still an invaluable help. Well she would be when Shoko was born. Mob didn't really need the help now.
But it was still nice.
It was nice when everyone got along…as well as could be expected.
"Ramen again?" asked Shigeo. There was something in his voice, there, that Mob couldn't place. She wasn't good with voices but she was good with auras…and Shigeo's was kind of mad, there. At what she did not know. Maybe he was upset from people being mean to him at school, or maybe he missed home, or maybe he was just grumpy from the train ride. She wished that he would just tell her what was wrong. That way she could have made it better…whatever it was.
"Yes. I thought you liked ramen. I mean you used to when you were little." Said Mob as they walked down the road. There was a very new, and very good, ramen place that had just opened near the train station and Arataka said that this was the perfect time to go. They were celebrating Shigeo. He had finished another year of school and was staying with them for another summer holiday. Mob knew that he just really wanted a reason to go so far out of their way for ramen.
"He just always took us there." said Shigeo. There it was again. That same tone and that same flare of his aura.
"Why do you keep talking like that?" asked Mob
"Like what?" asked Shigeo
"That tone. You know I'm not good with tones but…but I feel like you're upset about something. Please tell me what it is so I can fix it." Said Mob
"Mom…you don't get it." Said Shigeo
"I don't. Please explain it to me." Said Mob
"I just…it's nothing." Said Shigeo. He walked a little faster, then, and she had to struggle to keep up with him…even though she was the one who knew where they were going. Well he could have just been going towards Takako's aura. She was the dot of blue on the horizon. Mob wished that he would slow down but she also figured that he just didn't realize how fast he was going. He hadn't been that tall for that long. Yes, he never would have made his eight months pregnant mother run alongside him in the summer heat on purpose.
She wished he would slow down, though.
It was hard to think of it. He was fourteen, now. Fourteen. When she was fourteen she had saved the entire world. It seemed like just yesterday he was sneaking cookies from the cupboards and building forts out of his bedding. He had been so small, small enough to be picked up and carried…but not he could have so easily carried her. He was tall, and would probably get even taller, too, if his father was anything to go off of. He was fourteen. Next year he would be fifteen…the age she was when she had him. Well she had been on the edge of fifteen when he had been born…and now that looked so, impossibly, young…
She hoped that history would not repeat itself.
He was so young. Too young. If he told her next year that he had fallen in love with a girl and they were having a baby together…she hadn't exploded in years but that might be the thing to trigger it. He was too young for all of that. He hadn't mentioned any girls, or boys, yet…and that was kind of a good thing. It was a messy business, love, and it made you do the stupidest and craziest things…or maybe that was just her. She had been the only person in her class, her grade, her school, probably the whole of Seasoning City, to have a baby at the edge of fifteen.
He had not been a mistake.
She loved Shigeo. She had loved him from the moment she set eyes on him. From that very first moment when the doctor placed him, her son, naked and wailing and so impossibly small, in her arms. She had been exhausted. She had been in pain. She had been sitting in a pool of her own blood and various other gross things. None of that had mattered when he had been placed in her arms and his aura met hers…and then he just stopped crying and looked at her…
He wasn't looking at her now.
He was looking at the ground in front of him. He really should have looked up when he walked, he might have ended up tripping and falling. She wished that he would look at her, too, because she was starting to get the feeling that he was made at her…and she didn't know why. She couldn't think of a single thing that she had done to make him mad. She called him every other day…so he probably didn't miss her…was it because she was having another baby? He had been jealous when Takako had been born…
That must have been it.
He had been four years old when his sister had been born. They said that the twos were terrible but it was the fours that really did Mob in. When Takako had been born, well after they had cleaned her and Mob up and moved them to a recovery room, Shigeo had been brought in to visit. He took one look at his little sister, one look into her big blue eyes, and declared that she needed to go back to where she came from. Everyone had a laugh at that…which only made it worse because Shigeo had been serious…and then he'd almost had an accident with his powers…which scared Takako…
They got on a lot better these days.
Of course he wasn't living at home, her home, these days. He had decided, years ago, that he wanted to go to middle school in Baked Goods City. Mob didn't know why. She figured that it must have been one of those independence things. It had been hard, letting him go, but she had no reason to say no. It wasn't as though he were living on his own or anything like that, no, he was just going to stay with his father and grandmother. That was all. He was in good hands.
Katsuya really was a good father.
Well from what Shigeo said. They had never really been together, her and Katsuya. It had been too much for them after Shigeo had been born. She had been smaller, slightly smaller than she was now, when Shigeo had been born and he had been her first baby, too, which was why she had gotten so torn up so badly. Badly enough that she hadn't been able to even walk very far let alone take care of a baby…and babies needed a lot more care than books and angry lectures from her mother could have prepared her for…and she and Katsuya hadn't been doing well to begin with…
And then it all just sort of fell apart.
He tended to shut down, Katsuya, when he got overwhelmed. The only problem was that a person could not shut down when they had a baby. Her mom had been angry with her, too angry to help out. 'You made your mistake, Shigeko, and now you and you alone have to deal with the consequences' was what she had said. Then she forbade dad and Ritsu from helping her out. Ritsu did help her out in secret…though he really didn't know much more than she did…and Sho didn't start helping out until Shigeo was much older.
Well Sho called it helping out. Mob called it running away with her baby while she was asleep and having her wake up in a panic because her baby was gone and she had no idea where he was. Sho hadn't been stealing the baby, no, he said that he was babysitting….even though that meant that the baby stayed where he was and you sat. Sho didn't see it that way. He said that he and the baby were having adventures and bonding and that she and Serizawa needed a break anyway. They needed a break….from each other, though, not Shigeo.
Though he hadn't taken the whole 'breaking up' thing very well at all.
But Sho had been and continued to be a very good babysitter…and his help had been invaluable. Still, a person could only help out so much. A baby was still stressful and being fifteen years old with a baby was even more stressful. It was like trying to fight fire with fire. You just got more fire. The stress had been a lot. The stress of having to take care of a baby, the stress having to take care of Katsuya, the stress of missing out on so many normal fifteen year old things….
Minegishi had called her relationship with Katsuya a sinking ship.
And that was why he was one of her best and wisest friends. She had gone back to work before she was ready, she just wanted to get out of that tiny one room apartment for just a few hours, and Minegishi had told her that she looked like death. He was nice like that, telling her the truth about things. He seemed mean, everyone said that he was mean, but Mob didn't see it. There was a difference between being mean and telling someone what they needed to hear.
And Minegishi always told her what she needed to hear.
Her relationship had been a sinking ship. She had been bailing out the water, which meant that she had been ignoring all of the problems, since the very beginning. That hadn't been fair to her or Serizawa. Also all of the cheating that she had done hadn't helped. No…that had no helped at all. The cheating was a big problem…she had done it twice after all.
Then three times.
And then she had decided to leave the sinking ship because she was not only hurting Serizawa but also herself and their son. Shigeo had been two when she and Serizawa completely broke up. It had been for the best. Growing up like that, with a mom and dad that shouldn't have been together in the first place, that was worse than growing up with no parents at all. Well he still had parents, a mom and dad who loved him, and they loved him much better apart than they did when they were together.
Plus he had a lot of other people who loved him, too.
Shigeo was so loved.
Though Mob felt that, maybe, he didn't realize it. He hardly said a word during lunch. That wasn't completely unlike him….she and Katsuya had never been big talkers so it stood to reason that their son wouldn't be a chatterbox either…but this was different. There was something about him….about his aura…that made Mob feel like he must have been bothered by something.
But what?
Well a lot of things could have been bothering him. He was fourteen now. She remembered herself at fourteen. At fifteen. At sixteen. Not a good time at all. He had said that it was about the obvious and also a million other things. Being fourteen that could have been literal. Divorce was hard on kids, all the books said so, and she hadn't even BEEN married to begin with…but it was still the same. Mother and father did not live together. Mother lived in one place, father live in another, and son was shuffled between two homes.
It couldn't have been easy on him.
Mob waited to talk to him. Until they were done catching up over lunch. Shigeo barely ate, unusual for him, but Arataka and Takako ate for three people so it all balanced out at least. Shigeo had been so gloomy, though, he hardly said anything to anyone. Even Sho. They has gotten on so well in the past….Mob wanted to ask him right then at there at the table what was wrong and how she, as his mother, could fix it.
But she didn't.
Because she was older, now, and less clueless. She knew that if she made a big thing out of it then everyone would make a big thing out of it and then Shigeo would feel like he was put on the spot. Plus they were in public, too, and people didn't talk about things like that in public. The things that must have been bothering him. Things about mother and father being separated, jealousy over younger siblings…even if they weren't technically siblings…well they were but they also weren't. Half siblings at best, like with Shigeo and Takako, though Shoko would legally be their cousin….it was confusing. Very confusing. If it was confusing for her at almost thirty then it was confusing for him at fourteen.
She'd talk to him when they got home.
Well that had been the plan but the first thing Shigeo had done when they got home was go straight to his and Takako's room. That made sense. End of the school year meant end of year gifts and Shigeo had made out pretty well. Videogames, the ones he had wanted since Christmas, but also a massive Gundam model. He liked Gundamn better than EVA, he said. Arataka called it adolescent rebellion.
Though she had no idea what it was that he could have been rebelling against.
"He's fourteen Mob, give him some space." Said Reigen as he scrolled through his phone. A few jobs had come in but nothing time sensitive. Well somewhat time sensitive…he'd take care of it tomorrow. He and Takako. Mob's gifts seemed to be dominant, both of her kids had them. Though Shigeo had two esper parents.
"I know that I should but I'm worried about him. You didn't see his aura. Something is bothering him…and I asked him about it at the train station and he said that a lot of stuff was bothering him…and I don't know what to do." Said Mob. She leaned back against Arataka on the couch. It was later in the day now and they had come back home to their little air conditioned bubble, thankfully. Ritsu and Sho had gone back to their own apartment, just across the way, leaving the Kageyama/Reigen family to get settled.
Which was Ritsu for 'I've had as much of Reigen as I can take for one day' even though Mob had no idea why Ritsu still didn't like Arataka. He was a good person…but for some reason Ritsu could not see that.
"He's fourteen." Said Reigen as if that answered all of Mob's questions. He knew what he had been like at fourteen and the last thing he would have wanted was his mother in his business. Reigen knew how Mob felt, though, and wanted to talk to Shigeo himself…but the only thing worse than your mother being all in your business was your stepfather being all in your business. Shigeo…he loved the kid but he was not Shigeo's father. Not really. That honor belonged to Serizawa…even though Reigen had been there practically since day one….ok, he exaggerated…but he had been there for the kid for a while. It had hurt, before, when he said that he wanted to live with Serizawa and his mother…but Reigen understood.
That didn't mean that it didn't still hurt, though.
"I know how old he is…." Said Mob. She had given birth to him, she knew what age he was. She knew how hard it was to be his age. She wished that she knew what was going on in his head. He had been like this since he moved out…and she didn't know why. Well besides the obvious.
"Come on, you remember how it was to be his age. What you were like." Said Reigen. He winced as soon as the words left his mouth. He had been thinking about himself, then, and not her. She had been only a year older than Shigeo was now when she had him…and that whole year had been a cluster fuck of momentous proportions. For everyone involved. He hoped to God that Shigeo wasn't going to repeats his parents' mistakes…not that he was a mistake. No. Even though Shigeo wasn't his Reigen was still happy that he was born…even though at the time he had been about to jump out of a window…but he had gotten better.
He had gotten Mob in the end after all.
"You don't think that he's…like me? Do you?" asked Mob. If there was some way to do it all again but still have the kids she would have. She had been fifteen when Shigeo had been born…just a child. She had thought that she was an adult, then, but she was just a child. She was in no way ready to make any of the choices she had made….and that had messed her life up pretty badly…but she had gotten Shigeo and, later on, Takako out of it. Though she had been an adult when she'd had Takako.
"He's a lot like you but I don't think that he's…getting up to…the same stuff that you were. You would have known if he was. You're his mother after all." Said Reigen. That kid was way too awkward, too gangly, too…too much like Serizawa for him to be getting up to any of the stuff that Mob had been….right?
Right?
And now he's worried. He's worried that he's going to have another mouth to feed, soon. That he's going to have a teenage esper ready to run away and start his own life because he thinks he's ready for all of that. A teenage esper in love…hopefully with a girl his own age. Having kids of his own put his relationship with Mob fully into perspective. He had been a piece of shit. He had dragged Mob into a world that she had not been ready for. If he could have done it all again he would have lied through his teeth and told her that no matter what he would always see her as his student and that it would have been impossible for him to have those feelings for her.
But he had told her to wait.
Telling a teenager to wait was like telling the sun not to rise. No matter what power you thought you had what was going to happen was going to happen. The sun was going to rise and horny teenagers were going to be horny teenagers…and also they would end up in a relationship with your best friend and then you'd go off the deep end, burn a shit ton of bridges, but rebuild them and ultimately end up with the girl of your dreams….and he knew that he should not have ended up with Mob. Fourteen years still separated them. Thirty and forty four, if he was rounding. Thirty and forty four was a hell of a lot less creepy than fifteen and twenty nine.
But still, if a guy twice his daughter's age, or his step son's, or whatever the kid growing inside of Mob's that he wasn't quite sure what his relation was to's, he'd kick some ass. The last thing he wanted for any of those kids was for their lives to end up like Mob's. It so easily could have gone down the drain. Her parents could have actually signed the papers so she could have married Serizawa, she could have ended up getting pregnant after having Shigeo, she could have ended up being Serizawa's wife for the rest of her life with a million screaming kids and a million broken dreams…but it hadn't. They had come back together….
And started this life together.
But Mob had dodged a bullet. There was no arguing with that. Even if she hadn't ended up married to Serizawa she had still been a fifteen year old mother. She'd had Shigeo just shy of her birthday…she had been so young then….so very young…
But that is neither here nor there.
"I don't know. He used to tell me everything but it's like he became a teenager and now he doesn't want to tell me anything. It's like me and my mom I guess….even though I'm nothing like her." said Mob
"Thank God for that, I'm not sure if what we'd do about the medical bills if you were." Said Reigen feeling the scar through his eyebrow that he had gotten courtesy of Hana Kageyama.
"I would never hit you….and I don't know why my mom still tries to hit you. We're married now, and I'm an adult, so I don't know what she's so upset about." Said Mob
"I slept with her fifteen year old daughter." Said Reigen. He said it quietly in case Takako was around. She was still so young. She didn't need to know the sordid details of how her parents had gotten together. Let her do the math when she got older.
"I'm not fifteen anymore. I'm not a child." Said Mob. She wasn't a child anymore….and this time it was true. Not like before. Before she had just been playing at this, at being a grown woman, at things that she had not been ready for…not that she felt totally ready for them now. There were days, still, when she woke up to Takako blaring her music and Shoko playing soccer with her organs and Arataka sleeping next to her and the only thought in her mind would be 'this is my life?' which was odd because this had been her life for quite some time now.
"I know that but I don't think that she does. Honestly I'm not sure if they'll ever stop being kids to us. I mean I still get up in the morning expecting that I'll have a baby to feed and change." Said Reigen
"That's just because I'm pregnant again. You shouldn't worry, Taka, Sho and Ritsu said that they would take care of Shoko as often as they could. She's their daughter after all. I'm just her aunt…well I mean biologically I'm her mom but Sho's her dad…but Ritsu is her uncle…and I guess that you'd be her stop father…step uncle? I'm not really sure. The government is weird about birth certificates." Said Mob. After Shigeo had been born she had learned just how weird the government could be about birth certificates. Shigeo was illegitimate and that was why he was a Kageyama, not a Serizawa. That had caused her some trouble when she married Arataka and became a Reigen. The government said that Shigeo was still a Kageyama. Illegitimate was illegitimate.
Though Mob had no idea why that mattered.
"I'm still going to help out. I'll be the best step-uncle there ever was." Said Reigen
"You'll be the only step-uncle there ever was." Said Mob with a smile. She sighed and closed her eyes. Shoko was kicking again even though she was more than big enough that she should have stopped this by now…this really was Sho's daughter….and it was still hot even with the air conditioning….but she could have so easily drifted off for a second…
No, she couldn't have.
"Mom! Dad! Shigeo's being a jerk! Punish him! Punish him!" said Takako as she ran into the living rom. Mob had no idea what had happened. There had been a flash of auras, Shigeo's and Takako's, and now this. She sat up with a groan.
"What happened?" asked Mob
"Well I was in our room-" said Takako
"Takako, you remember what your mom and I said about giving your brother some space, right? About how closed doors mean knock first and then wait for a response? And then honor that response?" asked Reigen. They needed their own rooms. They were getting to the age where they needed their own rooms. Even though, for the foreseeable future, Shigeo only lived with them part time the kids needed their own rooms. The only problem with that was money. Spirits and Such had never made a lot of money and now, even with Mob's help, they still had two other mouths to feed. Plus Mob refused to live away from her brother and his husband and her brother refused to live anywhere cheaper than this and his husband refused to live away from good schools…he was really getting into the whole 'dad' thing, so this was all that they could afford on what they made.
"We were already in our room, dad! Ok, so I was playing Final Fantasy and I needed Shigeo to beat a boss for me, he's good at that, but he was busy Skyping his dad or whatever and he wouldn't help me no matter how many times I asked so I jumped on his bed and then he threw me onto mine but that's not the worst part! No, when he did that my game got unplugged and I not only lost all of my progress but my save file got corrupted too! Punish him! Make him eat hamster food! Make him sleep naked in the alley! Beat him with wet noodles!" said Takako. The room shook. She was losing control….but she had a good reason to! Older brothers were the worst, she didn't know why she had to have one. Mom should have just stuck to having girls. An older sister would have been much better. At least an older sister wouldn't have been all mopey or whatever. If Shigeo was so homesick then he should have stayed in Baked Goods City. It wasn't like she missed him….that much….
"Takako, sometimes people need space and-" Said Reigen. The perils of esper kids…sometimes they lost control. He understood that. He didn't much like it, at some point someone was going to get hurt, but he understood that it was an unavoidable thing when one had esper kids.
"You talk to her, I'll talk to him." said Mob as she got up from the couch. He had lost control. He could have hurt Takako. She had lost control, once, and hurt Ritsu. It had been something that had haunted her for her entire life. She did not want that for her son. That was why she had to talk to him. She walked, or rather waddled, down the hallway to her son's room…where someone had taped up a sign that said 'go away' in both kanji and hiranga.
Mob knocked on the door.
"Shigeo, it's me." Said Mob when there was no response.
"I know, mom, I can see your aura." Said Shigeo. More silence. It dragged on and on and on.
"Can I come in?" asked Mob finally. There was more silence but at least the door swung open. Mob stepped through and over piles of books and clothes and assorted junk. She'd have them clean their room later, not now, because this was not about a messy room. Her son was laying on his bed facing the wall. He had to tuck his legs in to fit on his mattress. The Pokémon bedspread was faded, too.
He was too big.
"Can I sit down?" asked Mob. Again, silence, broken only by a stuffed Pokémon plush toy being tossed telekinetically out of the way. Mob sat down beside her son, the bed groaned under her weight, and she let her aura touch his.
"She was being annoying." Said Shigeo. He knew what she was doing there. She was there to tell him off for tossing his sister off of his bed. Well he stood by what he did. She was being a pain. At least at home nobody ever jumped on his bed when he was trying to have a private conversation. Dad missed him and Shigeo had to check in or else dad would get all sad and stuff. That was never fun.
"So you lost control-" said Mob
"No, I didn't. She was being annoying so I tossed her onto her own bed. I didn't mean to unplug her game but I did mean to toss her out of the way. She was jumping on my bed while I was trying to talk to dad." Said Shigeo
"That's…don't throw your sister around. You could have hurt her. Trust me, you never want to hurt your little sibling. When I was eleven-" said Mob
"I know the story, mom. When you were eleven some older guys tried to rob you and uncle Ritsu so you lost control and hurt everyone. You've told me that story before. I told you, before, too that my control is better than that." Said Shigeo
"I know. I just…you should still be careful. I'm not mad at you and neither is Taka. We're just concerned-" said Mob
"Why? Why are you so worried? I'm not going to lose control, I said so." Said Shigeo
"It's not about that, Shige, it's about…can you turn around? It's weird talking to your back." Said Mob. There was a moment of silence before Shigeo turned around. He still wasn't looking at her but at least she could see him. His eyes were red rimmed and his face was flushed. She knew that face. She hadn't seen that face in years but she still knew it…and it still hurt her seeing that face. That upset face on her only son….
He had been crying.
Mob hadn't seen her son cry in ages. One day he had fallen down, scraped his knee, and then bit back his tears with the proclamation that he was now, officially, too old to cry. He stuck to it no matter how many times she and Taka told him that there was nothing wrong with crying. Big boys could cry, there was nothing wrong with that.
But he hadn't listened.
And even now, at fourteen, he was still fighting back tears it seemed…and Mob had no clue why. She wasn't good with people, even her own son it seemed, but she was his mother and it was her job to fix whatever it was that was upsetting him.
"Shige…talk to me. Tell me what's wrong. We used to talk about everything. Why are you crying? What's bothering you?" asked Mob
"A lot of stuff." Said Shigeo
"Such as?" asked Mob
"I don't want to talk about it." Said Shigeo
"Please….if you don't tell me what's bothering you then I won't be able to fix it. I'm your mom, it's my job to fix-" said Mob
"You can't fix it…nobody can." Said Shigeo
"I can try. Please, Shige, just talk to me. What's wrong? Do you miss your dad and grandma? Do you want to head back? Because if you do I can see when the next train is and you…you can head back." Said Mob even though that was the very last thing that she wanted. She so rarely saw him these days…though she supposed that it was only fair. Katsuya had missed out on so much of his son's childhood so it was only fair that she missed out on his teenage years…
"I just….why did I have to be a Kageyama?!" said Shigeo. He had been keeping this in, trying to keep it in, but it just came out. All of it. All of what he was feeling came out in that one question….and he knew that he should not have said that. No. He'd just end up hurting mom's feelings…and then hurting his sister/cousin too….and he didn't want that. He just wanted…he didn't even know what it was he wanted.
"Oh. Because my parents are Kageyamas. Well my mom was from a different family but when women get married they take the same last names as their husbands. Since I wasn't married to your dad you were a Kageyama." Said Mob. It wasn't fair, how the government thought that being from married parents mattered more than being from unmarried parents, but there was nothing that she could do about it. Nothing that she could do about a lot of stupid things the government said.
'No…I mean….I mean why am I so different?! I hate being so different!" said Shigeo
"We're all different. That's what makes the world interesting. I know how hard it can be when you're very different from the people around you-" said Mob
"I don't mean powers, mom, I mean like…I'm the only kid in my class with a different last name than his dad. I'm the only kid in my class who has parents who aren't together. I'm the only kid in my class who…who…" said Shigeo. This part he could not say. He could not hurt his mom like that. He had talked about it with dad, briefly, and it had hurt dad terribly…and he did not want to hurt mom, too.
"Who….what? Shigeo…I don't understand. I'm not good at these sorts of things but I'm trying my best. I'm sorry that people still tease you about…about the circumstances of your birth…but really it's none of their business. Your father and I love you, that's what matters. You were born loved, Shigeo, that's the only thing that matters." Said Mob. Shigeo had been teased since he had been a small child. She had been teased as well. She knew how people could be…and she wished that there was some way that she could have protected her son from the world…but there wasn't.
"It's hard, ok? People figure out that…that you and dad aren't married and stuff…and then they find out that I'm related to you because they Google my name and…and they find you and that Spirits and Such website and…and then people ask me why my parents aren't married and…and it's not even about that. It's just…" said Shigeo
"Just what?" asked Mob. She didn't understand why people were so concerned about things like that, people's parents being married and all of that. Love was the only thing that mattered…but of course the rest of the world didn't see it that way. There must have just been something that she had been missing, that was all. Some missing piece that would have told her why it mattered so much…and if she found that piece then she could have helped her son…but she could not find that piece…
"it's weird for me, too. Mom…mom this whole thing is just weird for me." Said Shigeo
"That your dad and I aren't married? Shigeo…he and I…sometimes people are better parents when they're apart than they are together. Your dad and I…things weren't good between the two of us and I didn't want to raise you in an environment like that. I knew that you would be better off with the two of us apart." Said Mob. She knew, by the time Shigeo had been born, that being with Katsuya had been a mistake. That what she felt for him had not been love but instead a combination of guilt and obligation…and that she could not raise a child in that environment. Mom and dad were right not to sign the papers that said that she could have gotten married. That would have been a mistake. Her happiness mattered. If she was unhappy then how could she have raised her son properly?
"It's not even that it's just….I did the math. I did the math back at dad's birthday. I helped grandma make the cake and it said 'happy forty sixth birthday' on it and then I just….I did the math. Dad's forty six and you're thirty, almost, which means that you and dad got together when you….when you were in middle school like me." Said Shigeo
"Oh." Said Mob. What else could she say? There was no explaining it away and she was never going to lie to her own child. She had given birth to Shigeo when she was in middle school. Those were the facts of the situation.
"And then I just…I couldn't stop thinking about how dad was way older than you and how…how Reigen's way older than you and I talked to dad about everything and he said that you and Reigen…went out…before I was born and that just…it grossed me out a lot, ok!" said Shigeo. The room shook. That was him. He hadn't meant to, it just happened. Mom made it better. She stopped the room from shaking and smoothed down the spike in his aura. She was looking at him, now. Her face was as impassive as ever but he could see her aura. She was thinking. Had he made her feel bad? Had he ruined the whole summer? He should have just kept his mouth shut. Now everything was totally ruined and it was all his fault!
"What…what exactly did your dad say?" asked Mob. She and Katsuya had never really sat down and talked about what they would tell Shigeo if he ever started asking about the age gap between them. To the two of them it had been a nonissue in the beginning. He loved her, she thought that she loved him, and then they had a child together. That was then and this was now. Mob was older, now, and had her own children….and she did not want them to do as she had done. Love was still love, she believed in that, but she also knew that love could lead a person to do the stupidest, craziest, most reckless things…and she did not want that for her son and daughter.
"Dad said that he met you when you were fourteen and you stopped Uncle Sho's dad from taking over the world. He said that he fell in love with you after he knew you for a year and then you guys went out for a little bit and then I was born…and he told me that you and Reigen went out too…and also that you and…he told me that sometimes people fall in love and sometimes people fall out of love. He told me that even though he still loves you he understands that you don't love him, you love Reigen, and that it hurt but at least…at least he got me out of it." Said Shigeo. He felt a hand in his hair. Mom's.
"Your dad…he's right. He didn't tell you any lies…and I guess that you're old enough to know the truth…" said Mob. She wished that Katsuya had waited a few years before telling Shigeo. She wasn't ashamed of how young she was, no, she was ashamed at how stupid and reckless she had been. She did not want Shigeo to do as she had done….and she also didn't want to sour him on the concept of love. He was at that age, that age where he would want to find a boy or girl to be with, and she wanted that for him. The happiness that came with loving and being loved….she just wanted it for him without having a child or biting off more than he could chew in any other way.
She never wanted to hear the words 'I'm an adult' pass his lips until he reached the age of majority.
"But I don't…the truth is so…so weird! And gross! It's like…how am I supposed to look at dad, my own father, the same way after knowing all of this? And Reigen, too! No wonder mom and dad and Uncle Ritsu are always so mean to him…this whole thing is just…just…gross!" said Shigeo
"Shigeo…Shige….I'm sorry. I'm sorry that…that you're so weirded out by all of this. Just…sometimes you fall in love with someone you shouldn't…or at least you think that you're in love with them. Your dad and I…he's a lot older than I am but that didn't bother me then and it doesn't bother me now. Sometimes people….sometimes it doesn't matter…and sometimes it does, how old the other person is…" said Mob. She wanted to tell her son that he was never to do as she had done but she also didn't want to be a total hypocrite, either.
"So then what if I get a girlfriend and she's your age? Huh? Then what?" asked Shigeo sitting up. He wondered if mom and dad would have thought that it was ok. Age mattered. Adults were so…he didn't like any adults like that. He didn't know any adults well enough to like them like that. The only person he liked was the girl who sat in front of him…or that girl who was always playing DS in the library in the reference section…or that third year girl who ran the gaming club….and even then the thought of going out with a third year, someone almost in high school, is kind of weird…..
"That would….Shigeo…Shige don't do that. I'm trying not to be a hypocrite but…but just…only date people your own age, ok? I love you and I'm happy that you were born but…but I was not ready to have you. I was in no way, shape, or form ready to be your mother…or to be your father's wife." Said Mob trying to find the right words. Arataka would have known the right words…but she's not going to bring him into this. This has to between her and her son only. Maybe Katsuya, too, if he were around but not Taka. Not that she didn't love him, and not that he hadn't always been a big part of Shige's life, but this was a biological parent sort of thing, it felt like.
"But you married Reigen…" muttered Shigeo. He wished, when he was younger he would wish, that his mom and dad were just like everyone else's mom and dad. That they were married and had the same last name and had a house and got along and all of that. He didn't know what he wished for now.
"Arataka and I….things were very complicated between us. Between Taka, your dad, and I and…and you are too young to know everything that went on. When you're older I'll tell you the whole truth but right now you do not want to know. Trust me on this. Just know that things were very complicated between the two of us back then and I…I made some mistakes when it came to Arataka and your dad….ok? I loved…love can be very complicated sometimes and I…I don't want you to be scared of it-" said Mob
"I'm not scared of love, mom, I'm fourteen. I don't think that girls have cooties or anything." Said Shigeo
"I know that you aren't afraid of girls…and that's what I'm afraid of. I don't want you to think that love is a bad thing. I don't want you to look at what happened between your father and Arataka and I and think…think that you never want to have a relationship because of that. I want you to meet someone, someone your own age, and I want you to fall in love and I want you to be happy." Said Mob
"You and dad weren't happy…" said Shigeo
"Shige…we were happy for a bit, just a bit, but it was…he and I were not right for each other. Sometimes you fall in love and sometimes you fall out of it…and sometimes you realize that you mistook something else for love. Relationships can be messy…and they can be even messier when there's an age gap like that. Your dad and I…we were at different places in our lives. He was in his thirties and he wanted…he wanted a wife. He wanted a wife and I was your age….all I wanted was a boyfriend. We wanted different things and I…I tried to want what he wanted but I was not ready. I love you, Shige, and I always will but…but I was very young when I had you." Said Mob
"I noticed." Said Shigeo sarcastically. As usual sarcasm was lost on his mother.
"You're very young now. A woman…a woman, not a girl, will want things from you that you are too young to give. You're too young to be someone's father, Shigeo." Said Mob
"Mom! I'm not even…I mean I've never had se- I'm not having….I don't even have a girlfriend yet!" said Shigeo
"One day you will and just….you are too young to be someone's father. You're going to…you're at an age where you're going to want to have sex and-" said Mob
"Please! Please mom, don't talk about sex! I know about sex! I know about birth control and being careful and consent and all of that. I know about saying 'yes' and saying 'no' and condoms and the pill and stuff like that! They told us at school! Please, mom, don't talk about sex…" said Shigeo. The only thing worse than hearing your mother say the word 'sex' was you saying the word 'sex'…but maybe if he said it enough times then she wouldn't want to talk about it anymore. They talked about it at school, he had Google, and dad had even told him about it…well he mostly said 'don't get anyone pregnant' but that still counted. He did not need to hear it from his mother too!
"Shige…they told you about saying 'yes' and 'no' and about protection but they…they don't teach you what's important." Said Mob
"What's more important than not getting someone pregnant?" asked Shigeo. He could not think of anything worse than getting a girl pregnant. He didn't have a job, his own place, or any idea how to even take care of a baby and…and that was what mom was getting at. She hadn't been ready to have him and she didn't want him to have a baby…but he was there so she had….was he a mistake? No…no. Mom…mom and dad loved him…and dad even told him to his face that he was not a mistake….
"Knowing the difference between being in love with someone and just wanting to have sex with them. Just because you want to have sex with someone…that does not mean that you love them…and having sex doesn't make you an adult. Sex is…it's a lot of things. It feels good, it affirms love, but it's also a big responsibility. Shigeo…I love you and even if I could turn back time and do it all again I would still have had you…but I don't want you to have a child at your age. When you date someone so much older than you…they're going to want different things than you do. Things that you are not ready for." Said Mob
"Mom…was I a mistake?" asked Shigeo. There was a pause before he was scooped up into a hug. One with bodies and auras. A mom hug.
"No. You were not a mistake. You are my son and I love you. I have never once regretted your being alive. I made a lot of mistakes when I was your age but you are not one of them. Do you understand? You are in no way a mistake." Said Mob holding her son as close as she could. She had made so many mistakes in the months leading up to his birth…but she loved him. She wasn't in love with who she had him with but she loved her son just the same.
She just wished that she had been older when she'd had him.
If she had been older then she would have been able to take care of him better. Then she would have been more together. Then she…she would have had him with the man she had been in love with in the first place….but that was neither here nor there. This was her son and she loved him more than anything else in the whole wide world…well, as much as her other child…and that was the truth.
"But you were talking like I was. You were telling me how hard it was when I was born and how hard it was on you and dad and-" said Shigeo
"It was hard because…because of how young I was. I wanted you. I loved you. I still love you….but I would have been a better mother to you if I had waited. I love you and I want…I want you to be happy but…but I want you to be young, too. I want you to enjoy your youth and not to…to do what I have done. I love you and I don't regret having you but that time in my life…it was not an easy one. I just don't want you to get into something that you're not ready for. I love you and….and your father loves you, too. Even if we aren't together we still love you…and that's the truth." Said Mob
"Mom…I love you too. I love you but….I guess that it's still kind of weird for me knowing….everything. About you and dad, I mean. You and dad and…Reigen. I mean I like him a lot but….I just…when dad told me about how you and Reigen went out before you and dad went out…the whole thing was weird and I was feeling weird about that…" said Shigeo. He felt another aura, and a kick. Shoko. That was weird, too, but he wasn't going to bring that up now. Not uncle Sho and Uncle Ritsu, that wasn't weird at all, but about how Shoko was his sister and his cousin….that was kind of a lot…but not as much as knowing that his mom had been in middle school when she had him.
"It's ok to feel weird. The whole thing is and was….it was weird. Shige, you can feel however you want. Just know that I love you, your dad loves you…and Arataka loves you too. You are so loved Shigeo…so very loved…." Said Mob as she held her son close despite her unborn child's protests. Shigeo didn't know the whole truth, not yet, and she was not going to tell him…now. Not now. He wasn't ready to hear the whole story yet.
The parts about the cheating.
The fighting.
All of it. Those were not things that anyone wanted to know about their parents at any age….but especially not fourteen. No. Mob knew that the best thing to do for her son was to let him be fourteen for as long as possible. Fourteen and then fifteen and sixteen and so on and so forth. The truth, the whole messy truth, would have been heartbreaking for him now.
And she was done breaking hearts.
Nothing broke like a heart. It was hard to pick up, to put back together, and even when you thought that you'd collected all the pieces there could still be one or two missing. Heartbreak didn't have to be romantic, no, it just had to be painful…and there was no pain like heartbreak….
After all, nothing breaks like a heart.