Thought I Was

(Tuesday Afternoon, July 23nd)

When Belle answers the door, Lonnie unsurely says, "I'm here for Mal."

"You're lucky I chose to read in the alcove today." She informs, "We're supposed to answer the door for our own guests."

"So, can I come in?"

Belle frowns, "Adam's in a mood. Don't let him see you." before she steps aside.

"Yes, Your Highness," Lonnie bows her head, as she heads inside.

After she goes up the stairs and makes it to Mal's room, she lightly knocks on the door. A moment later, Mal opens it, "Lonnie. You're early."

"Sorry," she shakes her head. "I just wanted to see you."

She lets her in, "Want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

She shuts the door, "Something's wrong. Spill."

"I just," Lonnie hesitates. "I had another fight with my mom, and Ace threatened her."

"And?" Mal prompts.

"He said he won't apologize for wanting to keep me safe," Lonnie informs.

"I wouldn't either."

She watches her look through the closet, "No one's going to kill my mom."

Mal shuts the doors and walks up to her, "No one's going to kill you."

Lonnie eyes down, "I'm afraid to go home, but if I don't, then it will be worse." She shakes her head, and laughs, "Sorry. You just got out of the hospital. How are you?"

Mal moves Lonnie's hair behind an ear, "I'm being taken care of." before she moves her towards the bed. "Now, let me take care of you."

"I, um," she nervously smiles.

"A movie, Lons," Mal laughs. "Be a good pet and keep me warm, and I will give you all the love you need."

When someone knocks on the door, Mal opens it and widens her eyes, "Ben."

He folds his hands and awkwardly smiles, "I wanted to wish you luck on your date."

Mal squints, "You don't like the idea."

"No. I do," he hurries with wide eyes. "It's just…" He tilts his head to see better into the room, "Is that Lonnie?"

Mal glances over her shoulder before frowning at him, "She's afraid to go home. I was just going to let her sleep, until we get back."

Ben takes a moment, "Getting home late isn't a good idea." before he moves past Mal and goes to the bed. "Lonnie?"

Her eyes flutter open, "Ben?"

He sits down, "What time are you supposed to be home?"

She rolls her eyes at the clock, "Probably now."

He takes a moment, "You're good at math, right?" Her eyebrows raise, and he questions, "What? Was I supposed to think the child of two army leaders couldn't do math?"

She sighs and shakes her head, "Yes. I'm good at math."

He stands from the bed, "Follow me." before he makes it to the doorway.

Mal grabs his arm and whispers, "What are you doing?" before she eyes from the bunched cloth to him.

When Ben nods down at the grip, she lets go, and he answers, "We don't want her to get in trouble, do we?"

Lonnie walks up to them, "My mom doesn't even want me to see Mal. I'm in trouble just by being here."

"No," Ben faces her, "because I texted you to come over, and you're helping me recheck the math on my apartment project." He nods, "If I call your mother from the office phone to ask if you can stay longer, if she agrees to it or not, you had a… a reason for being here."

When he turns, Lonnie follows him; however, Mal pulls him to face her. She shakes her head and sadly laughs, "Ben. Are you okay?"

He lifts a shoulder, "Why wouldn't I be?" She starts to tear up, and he moves her hair from her face. "Hey."

"If you're upset about seeing me with Evie, we can wait," Mal suggests.

"I'm not upset." He smiles as he wipes the tears from her face, "I'm happy you're happy. I'm happy for both of you."

"Then why?" Mal furiously whispers. "Why are you doing this?"

He frowns, his arm falling back to his side, "Doing what?" Mal crosses her arms over her stomach, as she purses her lips. He brushes his hand over her shoulder, "We can talk about this later. Okay?"

When she fails to respond, he continues down the hall; however, Lonnie calls after him, "I'll catch up with you."

He faces her and takes a moment, "Make it quick. My parents can't see you."

After he leaves, Lonnie turns back to Mal, "What's wrong?"

She shakes her head, "When I went to grab his arm." She shakily breathes, "There was nothing. He's lost so much muscle. It was just so… frail."

"I'm sure he's just been busy," Lonnie reassures.

"Ben's always busy," Mal counters. "That's never stopped him from ordering a pizza or eating those stupid fruit chews."

"Isn't he a carnivore, anyway?" she reasons. "It's not like that stuff would help."

"Well, at least it would keep his body from eating itself."

"Would it, though?" she questions. "It doesn't exactly have the same nutrients."

"I'm still alive, aren't I?" Mal points out, eyeing off. "Half of the stuff my mom brought home, I don't even think she stole it from the butcher." She laughs, "I'm pretty sure I ate a kid one time. Suddenly, the fridge was just filled with this smoked pre-cooked meat, and the next week one of my classmates mysteriously disappeared."

"I'm sorry," Lonnie unsurely says.

"Don't be," Mal's brows raise. "The thought might make me feel sick to my stomach, but it really was the best thing I ever ate." She tilts her head, "Which is why I was so scared to eat meat since, that Ben had to convince me it was an irrational comparison. That I'm not going to turn into some man-eating monster if I eat a cow that humans will also eat."

"And now you think he's not," Lonnie frowns.

"He had a thing about eating meat when he found out what he was," Mal recalls, "but now I don't think he's eating at all." She sighs, "He got an actual job, because he was fighting with his father over money. But that means he should have enough to buy his own food now."

"So, it's not about the argument."

"Or me dating Evie, apparently." She clings to herself tighter and claws into her sides, "I thought that because he broke up with me, because he thought he would hurt me, that because he still has feelings for me that he might just be sad about that. But he's happy for us?"

"He does get along with Evie eerily well," Lonnie notes.

"It's like they have their own language," Mal huffs. "But still. If it's not this thing with his dad or about me and Evie or…" She takes a deep breath and widens her eyes, "Why the hell is this happening to him?"

When Lonnie moves in to hug her, Mal flinches but then slowly releases a breath and sobs into her shoulder. "It's okay." She pauses, "I'll see if I can find out for you."

"What do you think?" Ben bites his lip. "Is that profit too optimistic?"

Lonnie faces him, "If you're really going to be housing homeless people, you're going to have to give them a month to find a job. The only people who aren't going to get fired are the ones who are either staying with friends or showering at the gym and sleeping in their car."

Ben nods, "I'll bring that up at the right time." and after a minute of quiet, he frowns. "Mal said something. Didn't she?"

She faces him, "Mal wants to know why you're not eating, if it's not because you're sad about her moving on with Evie."

"I eat," Ben's eyes shift.

"Do you?" Lonnie leans in.

He wets his lips, "I mean, it's not a lot." before he awkwardly smiles. "But it's not like I'm not eating."

"How much is 'not a lot'?" she firmly comments.

He sighs, "I don't keep track of it."

"Is it less than two thousand?"

He takes a moment, "Yes, but what does it matter?"

"Because, you're a guy." He looks away, and her voice raises, "Your height alone is going to mean you need more, not to even mention how much meat a beast would need."

He roars at her, and Lonnie's eyes widen as she's shocked into silence. Ben's mouth cracks open, before he stares down and rearranges the papers, "I'm sorry. You have to go."

"What did I say?" she angers. He fails to answer. "You know, all Mal wants to know is why you're doing this, and you're more defensive now than in the whole time I've known you."

"You don't know me," Ben meets her dark brown eyes. "If you did, I wouldn't have to tell you anything."

"I'm not the one asking," she stands from her seat. "Mal is."

Ben quiets, "There was a time when I thought she could see right through me. Maybe I was wrong."

"She knows you enough to know you're lying about this," Lonnie reminds him.

Ben shakes his head and then sighs, "Lonnie." before he gestures to her hand.

She takes her hand from the singed papers, "Sorry."

"I know I'm supposed to get you a ride," he tiredly states, "but would you feel better cooling down with a walk home?"

"The cold makes me feel sick," she admits.

"Travis is on call," Ben informs. "If I text him now, he can be here in ten minutes."

Lonnie nods, "Okay."

"Try not to burn the leather seats?" he unsurely asks.

"If I calm down." She takes a deep breath, "Can't you just tell me why you got upset?"

Ben eyes down and shakes his head, "It's probably just a side effect from not eating."

"And why aren't you eating?" she questions.

He wets his lips, before his mouth gapes, "I thought I was."

- Posted: 12/14/2019

- Darthamster12 Congratulations on being the first person to leave a comment on this fic. Feel free to leave more. I feel like no one's reading my side stories.