Session 27

"What are you doing? Why is the hanger opening? ED!" Jet stared in horror amidst the assault of the klaxon. He could only spare a glance to the child laying over her computer on the floor, goggles on as if engaged in a dogfight on the screen. When the smuggler ship had tripped the alert system, Jet had given her a command to hack the ship. He hadn't meant the Bebop!

"She better not be taking the Swordfish for a joyride again!" Spike's voice crackled over the com.

Nor the other MONOcrafts! Oh hell, Jet would never hear the end of this if Radical Edward ran that racket again. He'd be rebuilding the MONOcrafts til doomsday if she pulled that one!

On floor, Ed's hands shot up into the air. "Special delivery! Hehehe!"

Jet waited for one of the ships to launch. But that didn't happen. It was almost anticlimactic. Instead six rather small metallic objects jettisoned on a collision course with the smuggler ship.

"What the … ?" Faye gasped.

Spike blurted, "Are those—no way!"

A connection from the smuggler ship rang through. "Hehe … if you guys aren't gonna take this seriously, we can just bury you, Bucktoll style! We came prepared. Looks like you guys didn't so you takin' fire! Yeeeehaw!"

Jet glanced at Ed, she gave him a thumbs up. Across her screen, along with the command prompt window, six more video windows showing the steady approach toward the smuggler's ducts caught his attention. He turned and squinted. Were those … the six pack! There was no doubt. Six chicken sized, metallic feathered, robotic compys of mass destruction headed their way toward the vessel, latching on and infiltrating.

Jet grinned at the cocky pilot on the screen sporting a bandanna and an old western style hat. "I really don't think you're prepared for this one, buster."

"If you had weapons on that rusty tub you would have used them by now."

The compys had entered the starboard side, about halfway along the cargo ship. It would take a bit. So just a matter of killing time. Jet rubbed his chin. "Maybe. But have you ever read the Art of War?"

Faye drummed her nails on the panel. "We're still locked out."

Glancing up from the screen where Spike had typed in no less than a dozen attempts at getting back in, he pulled his finger back and whinced. "Shit, now I gotta start over."

"This isn't rocket science."

"You ever thought about how ridiculous that old saying is? We're in a spacecraft."

As Faye was about to respond, Jet's voice crackled over the com, "Maybe. But have you ever read the Art of War?"

Spike rolled his eyes, muttering so the com wouldn't pick up his voice, "Here we go again, another misquote by Jet. Any guesses as to what it will be this time?"

Faye mused. "The wise warrior avoids the battle."

"That works, since he isn't leaving the ship, like usual." Spike glanced at her and grinned. "I'm impressed, you didn't just steal my copy, you've been reading it." Turning back to the screen he continued typing. "I would quote this one: In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity."

"With you everything is chaos."

Spike shrugged. "It works. Unlike that code. Fuck. I hate this hacker shit. I have no idea what they used."

Across the control panel, Doctor Adenine still stood with his jaw hanging loose. He seemed utterly incapable of movement. Additionally, it hardly came as a shock to Faye when she glanced to the knocked-out door frame that it was crowded with the elite couples, the Tutfords and Espisitos at the front. She even spied that Gunter Keller guy sweating bullets at the edge.

Fine. Let them all stand by, useless. This is what cowboys did, instead of being paralyzed by a little danger. A proud smile flashed on her face as she turned back to the panel, in another time she would have conned the Tutfords into paying to have the ship unlocked, pretending they knew what the heck they were doing. But the truth was, this level of coding was not in her nor Spike's wheelhouse.

Spike pounded his fist on the panel. "Wrong again. Maybe we shouldn't've knocked them both out."

"Not like they would have told us anyway. That's their only bargaining chip. What have you tried?"

The com blinked a new connection, this time from the Bebop's living room computer. Who the hell could that be? Jet was in the cockpit, Ed was on Tomato. Which just left … Faye picked it up. "Ein?"

"Bark bark!"

"Just what we need, commentary from the mutt." Faye rolled her eyes.

On the screen, where Ein battered furiously at the keys, a string of odd characters spilled out. "Uhhh Spike?"

"I'm a little busy, Faye!"

"No... look at this. Is it just me or this code?"

"What?" A glance at that screen meant leaving the one he had been typing in. Spike's eyebrows shot up as he stared at it. "You're right, that is code. What the … uhh, Faye, read that to me." He shifted back to the screen and erased the old string, clearing it.

"Wait a second, you're going to hack a ship's controls by entering code from a damn dog? Spike, have you lost your last nerve?"

"Seen and done stranger. Now read."

Faye read the seemingly nonsensical string character by character until Ein's pawing stopped. Behind the wall of text the smiling corgi winked at her.

When silence stretched, Spike stared at the lengthy string. "That's it?"

"Yes, that's the whole thing."

"Here goes." Spike closed one eye and hit the key. A moment later his jaw dropped. "We're in. We actually have the bridge back."

Faye stared at Ein's wriggling body in the screen window as he hopped back and forth between his front paws. Across the screen the letters spilled, "W-E-L-C-O-M-E."

A nervous laugh escaped Faye's throat. "Ein's a good boy," her voice dropped to a whisper, "and I am never stealing his food again."

"Confirmed, the lockout is gone." His brow wrinkled as he looked down the whole mass of controls. Panels of buttons, knobs, levers, and screens.

"Uhh, have you ever flown a ship this big before?"

Spike scratched his head. "I flew the Bebop a couple times."

"One of those you managed to crash!"

"Hey! We ran out of fuel, that time wasn't my fault!" He shrugged, staring blankly at the controls. "Still, I admit, this is a bit more than I am used to. There has to be a way to recall the original autopilot course."

She crossed her arms. "And you have no idea."

His head sunk lower.

"Bark bark!"

Faye glanced at the screen where Ein furiously battered the keys. "Well, this worked once, ready Spike?"

"Taking direction from the mutt. Yep, just another low bar in my life."

The cocky captain tugged on the brim of his hat. "You cowboys are about to get owned. Heh, we got a massive bulkhead blasting missile loaded. You can't evade us forever, old man!"

They were right. The ship had already sustained a number of solid hits. She wasn't handling the same. Jet glimpsed Ed's smile growing ever more devious. Her hands wrung together. On more than one of the vid-screens people appeared. Several of the compys peered through the vents to the bridge. On another a compy reached forward, connecting a wire-pinch. At that moment, Ed went to work, fingers flying. Jet lit a cigarette. "On the contrary, buckaroo. We have you right where we want you."

"Bullshit, you're just bluff—what the …"

Over the com alarms blazed, lights blinked off and on at random, the engines to the smuggler ship cut off. It was a horror shit show.

"I've lost aux-power, navigation, —crap there goes the engines! How the fuck are they doing this?"

Jet just smiled. "Surrender now and we might be merciful."

"Screw you!"

"Hey, this is all on you now. Ok, Radical Edward, all yours." Jet leaned back in the chair, fingers laced behind his head.

A chorus of screams erupted from the crew on other side of the com. Though the man vanished from the screen, all Jet had to do was glance at Ed's screen to witness the chaos as five of the compys darted around the bridge beneath the flash of lights chomping and slashing with their teeth and claws. Metallic screams and hisses mixed with the frantic human cries. He laughed as grown men climbed up the walls trying to escape the agile little beasts. All futile. The beasts just followed, ramming their metal claws into the plating.

"What the hell are these things? No! That's the life support, don't cut that wire! SHIT!"

"We're gonna die! We're gonna DIE!"

"What are they? What are these little savages!"

Jet leaned back, the picture of innocence. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Ed rocked back and forth, smiling. "Ed found the program to hack their eyes. We see what the six pack sees." A moment later she cringed, edged with a grin, like someone savoring a horror flick. "Hehehehe!"

"Make them stop! Please... gah! My finger! Give it back!"

"I'll make them stop." Jet studied his fingernail. "Just surrender."

"Yes! Yes! We surrender!"

Jet gestured to Ed. She blinked and placed a finger to her lower lip. "Uh oh. Ed forgot a signal to make them stop. Oops."

Palming his face, Jet grumbled. "This is just great."

Listening to the screaming chaos through the com, Spike shook his head. "What do you know, those little devils came in handy."

Faye remarked dryly, "We've finally found a force more destructive then you."

Ignoring her, Spike continued, "Well, looks like Jet is gonna have his hands full for a bit. That leaves us with notifying the ISSP for a little pick-up. Don't think we want to cart them back on this ship." He typed through the message and sent it. "A good day for the Bebop. A double reward. One for the Bruusikhovs and one for the Bucktoll smuggler crew."

He turned to find Faye, her eyes downcast as she gazed at the half of the comb in her hands. Spike held up the other end. "And we got Lansing's drive back with Adenine's info on it, once Ed breaks the code to get it out. Seriously, Faye. This was a good run, even though we got busted."

She sank lower.

Spike lifted her chin with a finger, forcing her to meet his gaze. "I know what this contest meant to you. I'm sorry, this sucks. Once again your chance to be a dancing queen got taken away."

Faye snapped a glare down at the Bruusikhovs bound to a railing on the panel. In a flash she darted down towards Ivanhoe.

"Gah! Careful, you know we won't get the reward if—" Spike groaned into his hand as he watched Faye pull the blade from Ivanhoe's shoulder. "—he bleeds out. That was in a critical vein."

Brandishing the knife in front of Uhrikha, Faye trembled with fury.

Spike tore a strip from Ivanhoe's clothing and bound the wound enough to keep him from bleeding to death. Calmly he plucked the blade from Faye's hand. "Ok, enough of that. They're already headed for the ICU first thing, thanks to how much damage we did."

At that Faye turned and pointed at the door lock on the floor. "Speaking of damage. That's a Coleblock special."

Spike glanced while cleaning the blade off on Ivanhoe's attire before sheathing it back into its hiding place. "Yeah, so?"

Faye's eyebrow twitched. "The same model I saw you slip into back on Mars, less than a minute. Wasn't there one in that office building where the mark tried to hide inside?"

"Oh yeah, that was the same model." Spike grinned, for a moment. A second later that was dashed away as Faye stomped toward him, fists brandished.

"You asshole! You didn't have to throw me, you just wanted to!"

He held up his hands trying to defuse the situation. But she had him. "I just wanted to see if that would actually work. Come on, Faye? When would I get another chance?"

"I swear I'll beat you black and blue! I am not a battering ram! You better sleep with one eye open!"

"Funny thing, I actually can." Spike couldn't help it, he shouldn't have been laughing. But it was funny.

"Hey guys! Knock it off. We got a problem." Jet's voice broke things into an momentary truce. "They shot out the engines. Bebop's dead in space."

Spike and Faye both turned toward the Tutfords, the couple stood in the door doing perfect imitations of goldfish.

The bridge bustled with activity, the ship's crew back on their feet and grateful to find full control already restored. Content to be back in his normal casual attire, Spike lingered back, his roll in this affair largely finished now that the ISSP arrived to collecting the lot. Playing at a rich boy had it's moments, but he tired of all the rigid social-necessities. Now he could slouch in his own suit til his heart was content. Granted one of the perks of this happening on the cruise liner, no one wanted the guilty party aboard a second longer than needs-be. That put a rush order on things when normally a pick-up request would have been laughed at. Donnelley had come out from Ganymede to collect, along with several other officers. It came as no surprise that Jet greeted him and the two were laughing it up, chummy as ever. A pair of subordinate officers carried Ivanhoe's unconscious body off the bridge.

With her bare feet swinging in the air, Ed lay on her belly, Tomato in front of her as she typed away. Ein snuggled next to her, yawning as she plugged through the code in the middle of her sixth nonsensical song. Spike watched, idly smoking a cigarette, flanked by Daniel Adenine and Jim Lansing. Daniel's laptop remained at the ready nearby for the moment that Ed had the data. Both men looked like they were on a sitcom in a waiting room expecting a baby. Spike fought to suppress a laugh at the image.

"Are you sure about this, Spike?" Jim gasped.

Daniel finished, "This is just a kid."

"Oh, Ed's not just a kid. Trust me. She's almost got it."

"Icccchhyyyyooo Eggo my leggo! Cracked the egg."

Spike handed her the transfer cable. She plugged it in and in a few seconds threw her hands in the air. "Done!" Pulling the micro-drive out she tossed it to Spike.

In a smooth flip, like he would do to a poker chip, he tossed it to Jim. "There we go. One clean prototype. And Daniel's got his info back. Better make that harder to get at. I mean we are supposedly talking saving a moon after all."

Daniel picked up his laptop stared at the strange girl. "Thank you, Spike. This … well … you're all lifesavers. I hope you realize it."

He laughed. "Yeah, til the bill comes due."

"What?"

Half-lidding his eyes he inhaled a breath of smoke before replying. "It's a long story, one we've been told to shut up about. Anyway, it's all part of the job, our real jobs of course. Looks like Faye's little dip into the champagne dream life is at an end. Back to reality for the likes of us."

Daniel looked uncomfortably at his own hands. No words left him, though he seemed to be searching for them.

Donnelley's booming laughter stole Spike's attention. "Oh Jet, we'll make sure they get a nice place in lock-up. At least all of them still have pulses, that's a first! Reward transfers already done. Say, this has gotta be one of the biggest scores your crew has made. What are you going to do with all those woolongs?"

Jet folded his arms. "First things first, once we make it back to Ganymede Bebop needs an overhaul. That will burn most of the reward."

Spike glanced up just in time to see Faye enter, her hands on her hips. "Most of that reward is mine!"

"Uh, excuse me?" Spike held up a hand. "Who did most of the actual legwork?"

"No one is asking you, Spike."

"Jet's right, we can't blow this wad on the ponies. A ship without engines catches no bounties."

Faye's fists shook at her sides. "Oooooo! I made the call to do this, that's my bounty! Besides, I talked the Tutfords into allowing you classless buffoons a luxury ride back to Ganymede. Without me you'd be drifting back."

Jet leveled his gaze and eyed Spike, "How did you do it, pard? Spend all this time with the grade A swindler?"

Chuckling, Spike spread his arms wide. "You know me, I don't share my secrets. Now come on, let's get settled in the new suite."

Faye jolted upright. "Wait a minute … we're all in the same suite now?"

See You Space Cowboy