R2-D2 and C3PO had shut down their systems for the night, reserving their power and getting some rest. R2 was a nifty droid who could operate for months without much assistance, whereas 3PO had been built by Anakin himself back on Tatooine when he was a child. As well as being a gifted pod racer and with limited supplies for both himself and his mother, Anakin had managed to build a very sustainable droid, who had all the sass Anakin wanted him to have, a droid that could speak back to Watto, it would have amused a young Anakin.
But life, the force, the prophecy itself... Anakin dimly remembered what had happened on Mortis, that strange place he'd been unable to explain to anyone. Other than Obi-Wan and Ahsoka who were there with him. Even then parts of his memories were blocked out. When he tried to explain that strange, black, cube floating in the darkest depths of space, it was… difficult. But whenever he thought about himself as "the chosen one" brief memories of Mortis would return to him.
If everything was about fate, how had he started as a simple slave? Why didn't he have a father? Could he really have been born from the force? Why was his midi-chlorin count so high? Why him out of everyone in the galaxy? When he was left alone and now that the grief from Padme's passing had faded slightly, he found himself faced with these questions once again. Beforehand he had Padme to keep him company at night, he had his squad, he had some mission they had to focus on, some droids to fight, he had Obi-Wan or Ahsoka to tease, he had the Jedi Council to moan about, he always had something to keep him occupied. Always the one to recklessly throw himself in battle and save whoever he could.
If he was so useful to the galaxy.
Then why did he feel so useless?
He turned over slightly, the clones always had small cots (basic blankets) packed with them, alongside a few ration bars and a canteen of water for every mission, just in case this sort of thing happened. Anakin had a tiny portion to eat and drink and had laid on a bed of leaves. Allowing the clones to build a fire, using their cots they slept around it, or nibbled away at the ration bars, conserving what food they had. With Kashyyyk having a fairly warm climate Anakin saw no need to bring himself closer to the fire, instead he preferred to stay out of it. Cutting himself off and wallowing in his own existential crisis and grief.
Eventually the fire burnt itself out and Anakin lay there, trying to sleep as the clones fell silent and followed his lead, Rex was on guard (as usual) and was pacing around their clearing. The other clones had built a stack of small twigs around their overnight location. It wouldn't serve as any kind of defence if droids were too attack. It was more like a fence and if something was approaching, the sharp snap of a twig would let them know droids were approaching... Rex was checking the skies and pacing around the clearing, checking for any threats. Anakin clamped his eyes shut and pretended to sleep, pretending...
Sniffing, shuffling and sniffing and it was coming from somewhere near to him.
A clone?
Rex himself?
Anakin listened to what he realised was a clone sobbing now, quietly, but still audible now there was complete silence, the sobs tugged at his heartstrings, he felt like he had to help, he had too...
"Kix, what's wrong?" Rex nearly whispered, he could feel the two clones close to him as he pretended to sleep on.
"I... Captain Rex it's nothing..." Anakin heard the clone medic reply.
"Kix, I'm no idiot" Rex snapped "Is it about the ship? I know we lost nearly 600 of our brothers. Brothers we knew from the 501st..."
"...and we couldn't do a damn thing about it" Kix snapped "If Jesse hadn't suggested getting in the pod with General Skywalker, I... we... we wouldn't be here. I... I should have let another clone go into that escape pod, we all knew it would be the safest..."
"Kix…"
"Why did General Skywalker charge into this mission?!" Kix suddenly demanded, as Anakin felt a pang of guilt emit over his whole being.
"General Skywalker was as blind as the rest of us" Rex said, as Anakin felt his bond with his favourite clone intensify "He saved us".
"Yes, but..." Kix stuttered "He tried to kill you, we all heard about it Rex, doesn't that..."
"He was angry Kix, don't tell anyone but I think Senator Amidala was our General's lover"
"Everyone knows that Rex, but it doesn't excuse his behaviour".
Did they all know that? That was news for Anakin, he thought he was subtle with it. But apparently not, as shame and embarrassment washed over his figure, not only at his indiscretion with Padme, but with his behaviour. It had been out of order, it wasn't the clones fault, he'd unleashed his rage on the wrong people.
"Master Skywalker..."
"Rex" Anakin muttered, surprising both clones as he sat up and faced them "I acted disgracefully, Kix is right. I was upset, but I had no right to unleash that on you. When I get angry I... you don't have to accept my apology Rex. But I am truly sorry for what happened".
"General Skywalker" Rex said "It's really nothing".
There was an unspoken rule between them, Rex didn't want to discuss that incident because it would eventually lead into the story of how his favourite clone was somehow force-sensitive. Since that day they'd left the Jedi Council room, Anakin and Rex hadn't uttered a word to each other about Rex's secret power, Rex didn't want to reveal it and Anakin had to respect his wishes. Rex had stood loyal to him despite everything, Anakin was going to do the same for him.
"I'm sorry I upset you Kix as well" Anakin mumbled.
"It wasn't that, General Skywalker" Kix said, "I just... I was... I was thinking about Umbara".
Umbara. The dreaded words. The nightmares that plagued so many clones stemmed from Umbara and Pong Krell, the slaughter they'd committed on their fellow brothers, the betrayal of the Jedi. Yes, the council were embarrassed by Pong Krell's betrayal and if Anakin hadn't been summoned back to them, he could have prevented the clones from ever going through the hellhole that Umbara provided for them.
"I think about them when I try to sleep" Kix admitted "I also think about all my brothers I failed to save on Felucia. I used to watch helplessly as those diseases ate through the flesh of my brothers, they screamed for mercy, for death and I couldn't do anything, those screams still haunt me..."
"You know what haunts me?" another unnamed clone said, joining the conversation unexpectedly, "Do you all remember the mission to the Citadel prison to rescue Even Piell?"
"Hard to forget, may that little Jedi's soul rest in peace" Rex muttered.
"Well, I remember my best friend Finx died" the clone muttered sadly "He was crawling through those vents when the security doors closed on us, he panicked, I tried to pull him up but the door spilt him in half, the worse thing was about it, was that he was still alive for a few brief moments... I had to... I had to put a blaster to his head, the sound it made of him being crushed and his scream... it haunted me. I have no idea how I got off that rock alive".
"That sounds awful, we lost too much that day" Anakin recalled.
"But what about you sir?" the new clone asked (Doormat if Anakin remembered correctly) "You... you've lost people as well haven't you?"
"Doormat" Rex scalded, "Don't ask the general..."
"I... I suppose you've heard it and it was true about me and Senator Amidala" Anakin said, finally admitting this after all the years of secrecy, to tell Palpatine was one thing, but to tell all his men... it was another thing. Then again their expressions hardly changed, their faint grins remained in place. Kix's tears had dried for the time-being, the only one who showed an audible reaction was Jesse. The humorous clone shot up from where he was feigning sleep and shot Anakin a white toothed grin, his eyes dancing in mischief.
"So you and Senator Amidala...bonked?" He asked.
"Bonked!?" Appo inquired, the commander also dropping the pretence he was asleep "What sort of...!?"
He paused there, understanding dawning on his face.
"Jesse, that's an insensitive question to..." Appo began.
"It's fine Appo, honestly" Anakin said "I don't mind, ask me anything. Really, I don't want any of you too feel like I'm not approachable. I have a temper, I have problems, I know but... I don't want to take it out on you, ever again" he informed them all, but was mostly staring at Rex, who nodded in appreciation.
"What did it feel like!?" Doormat asked suddenly.
"Oh erm…" Anakin muttered, surprised a rookie would ask such a daring question.
"It feels great, I should know!" Jesse exclaimed "Back one night in 79's, me and this Twi'lek girl..."
"You threw up over her and she left" Kix corrected him "You haven't been with a girl"
"I got close enough!" Jesse huffed.
"I thought you'd experience that anyway, being stationed on Coruscant and all" Appo said to Doormat.
"Do you honestly think we all just slack off and go to bars all the time?" Doormat inquired, now every clone was awake and listening to him, eager to learn more about the new rookie and put their own demons to the side for a short while "Well, we didn't" Doormat answered "We didn't see much action there, but we always, always had to stay on form. Guard this, do that, get the senator that, we were doing so much, having so little time for ourselves and yet somehow, we weren't really doing anything at all".
He sighed there.
"That's the only way I can explain it" he said "I know I haven't seen real battles like you, but... my brothers on Coruscant. They're not like you think they are, they want to fight".
"But Fox, he doesn't" Jesse muttered.
"I never really had a problem with him" Doormat admitted "Then again I didn't see him much".
"Probably for the best, Fox... thinks his something important" Anakin intervened, remembering as the red-armoured clone that refused to let him see Ahsoka when she was falsely framed. His arrogance during the whole situation, Rex having to remind him to set his blaster from Kill to stun, some clones and clone commanders Anakin didn't like and rebelled in ways that angered him, such as Fox's arrogance, or Slick's betrayal of his brothers, but the vast majority of them were fine, Anakin could even consider them friends.
"So... what happens when this war is over, if it ends, or if we're alive to see the end of it" a unnamed clone muttered, looking up to the stars "Where'd you think in this galaxy they'll send us?"
"I don't know, I don't like to think about it to be honest" Rex said.
"Well I'm not just going to let you all disappear" Anakin said "Just because the war is over, you're still going to be needed. Police and security forces will be needed across the galaxy, aid workers, relief workers, pilots, star-ship workers, maintenance workers for ships and other vehicles, seeing how many people have died, it would be stupid to throw you all away. You're not just soldiers, without realising it, you have so many other skills that could benefit the galaxy too".
Rex's eyes brightened at this, hearing this from his general seemed to heal any rift that he could see forming. He'd never even considered what other skills clones had and if Anakin Skywalker had his say, the clones could be at ease at the end of the war.
But the republic would be stupid enough to throw them away.
and Anakin was just as powerless as they were, they were all stuck on this planet together until they found help.
"Well let's just get to the end of the war, before we start thinking of all that" Appo said, as if he could read Rex's mind.
"Do you think Fives and Tup have found Ahsoka yet?" Jesse inquired to change the topic.
"Of course they will" Anakin said "We'll have her back boys and it will be like old times" he muttered thinking of his lost Padawan there, he looked up at the star filled sky, he remembered something his mother had once told him on Tatooine. That once upon a time, humans like themselves only inhabited Coruscant. The planets across the galaxy that they had now inhabited, were unreachable, glowing specks in the sky. But through time they had done it, connected with other spices, explored the galaxy, become in their own words... Skywalkers. But he wasn't a Skywalker, not in this state...
"It's lucky Fives and Tup did go to find Ahsoka" Rex said cutting through Anakin's melancholy thoughts "When they get back, we can get back to kicking some clankers and..."
Anakin smiled, as terrible as the war was and despite everything he'd lost, he still had Obi-Wan and Ahsoka out there. They'd be fighting, he knew that and Fives and Tup, they were out there on his orders. Here he had his droids, Rex, Doormat, Appo, Kix and Jesse and 7 others, it wasn't over yet and as Anakin thought that he saw a star moving rapidly towards them, growing brighter by the minute and ever closer...
"What's that…?" Jesse began to ask, before it dawned on them all, it wasn't a star.
"CLANKERS!" Rex bellowed the obvious, as they prepared themselves for the oncoming fight.
A/N: Again another chapter to slow the pace down before the action begins now for the reviews Lionkingfactsguy3, I'm glad you like the story overall and as for the twist with Jar, Jar let's just say I enjoy the Darth Jar Jar theory too much so I had to include it, granted it will serve a purpose but much later on. Anyway hope you enjoyed this chapter next one will be out soon!