Griffon Wing Keep
Evelyn stirred awake, feeling every joint in her body groan when she stretched it outwards, then felt a sharp pain in her left side that made her squint down at the sheet over her suspiciously. She clumsily lifted the edge and peered down to see a bandage, a light line of blood seeping through it, though not enough to be worried about. She lightly pressed her hand on it, trying to remember what happened to her, but the memories were hazy, like a bad dream that was fading away.
Fade.
The single word came to the front of her mind, and with it, the slew of images from the day of the battle. From falling into the Fade to escaping it with Hawke clutched in her arms, to collapsing finally... then nothing. There was nothing after her collapse leaving Adamant fortress with Sera practically carrying her out.
Sera.
Evelyn quickly looked to her right and saw Sera's messy head tucked against her shoulder, face buried between her and the pillow they were sharing. A wave of relief washed over the Inquisitor, and she let her head fall back with a sigh. The noise and the movement seemed to wake her imp, who lifted her face with a groggy squint at her, not fully registering that Evelyn was blinking back at her with a sheepish grin.
"Hey," Evelyn tried to say, but her voice came out like a gravelly hiss, and it made her start to cough.
"Shiny!" Sera was wide awake now, scrambling out of the bed at the foot to get the pitcher of water and a cup on the table near the fireplace. "Don't move, I'll bring your cup."
Evelyn attempted to push herself up in the bed more, but Sera turned just in time to see her try and fail with a hiss of pain. "I told you, don't move, you daft tit." Sera's tone was soft despite the taunt, as was the way she helped Evelyn drink from the cup once she was back by the bed.
Evelyn cleared her throat once it was moist, waving away the cup Sera offered again. She wanted to chug the pitcher, but she knew better than to do that when she wasn't clear how badly she was hurt. "What happened? How long have I been out?"
Sera glanced over her shoulder at the closed door, seemingly debating with herself about something. Then she sighed, and shook her head at herself. "I need to tell everyone you're awake."
"Not yet, please?" Evelyn put her hand on Sera's forearm, and the elf let her gaze fall down to the contact. "Just a few minutes with you, first?"
A few beats of silence passed as Sera stared down at her hand, then the elf licked her lips. "You died."
The two words were not what Evelyn was expecting, and she stared at Sera for a full thirty seconds without responding, and Sera didn't elaborate. Evelyn racked her memory for the moment she died, but she couldn't pinpoint anything other than passing out. "How... how did I... not?" She reached over to her left arm and gave herself a hard pinch, just to make sure, and yes, she felt it.
"Stop pinching... You're alive now, you just... weren't. For... a while." Sera's voice was dropping off at the end of her sentences, and it hit Evelyn that this was hard for the elf, even now with her lying there talking to her. "And I hated it."
Evelyn slid her hand down Sera's forearm and twisted their fingers together instead. "I know the feeling, my imp. I lost you once, too, remember?"
Sera's face crumpled. "You dreamed about that. I know it was, the things you said. 'Everything is red.'" Sera paused and opened her mouth to say something else but then closed it, then a fierce determination crossed her features and she looked back down at her. "You said you loved me, too. Like, in the dream, but out loud here, too."
Evelyn's heart jumped in her chest, and she reflexively tried to sit up to be eye to eye, but Sera was ready and pushed her back down. "Imp, I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was saying... the dreams. You told me you loved me in that place. You told me you loved me, that you wished you'd said it lots, then you turned around and walked away from me to die so I could leave to fix it... so you could tell me here."
Sera was quiet, letting the information sink in, her expression inscrutable. When she spoke it was barely above a whisper. "But you did say it back. You said, 'I love you, too.'"
Evelyn nodded. "I did. And I meant it. I mean it."
Sera's eyes watered and she looked away from Evelyn, staring again at the closed door as if she were afraid someone would come through it at any moment and ruin this conversation. The assassin shared that fear. She really wished they had picked a better moment for this, but she had the feeling that Sera had been thinking about this stuff the entire time she was out.
"Sera, I-"
A finger pointed at her face and an angry interruption stopped anything that was going to follow. "Shut your gob, and listen to me." It was low and dangerous, and Evelyn shut her mouth with an audible clack of teeth. This shift of Sera's mood wasn't entirely unexpected, but it still caught her off guard.
"The Fade, Evelyn! The fucking Fade. Me! In the Fade! There was nothing, the spiders? Nothing. That demon playing with my head, using the wrong but not wrong fear, then taking you from me, leaving me nothing! It made it the right fear. You were dead in my fucking arms!" Tears had started to roll down her face, and Evelyn couldn't do anything to comfort the girl for fear of driving her away, so she stayed still and quiet in her heartbreak.
"Blood magic." It was a strained whisper, a wheeze of Sera's lungs as she cried. "I stood there and let them do blood magic to bring you back." Those stormy seas bored into her when she said what she did next. "And I didn't care. Anything to have you back here with me, Shiny. Anything, even that."
Evelyn's eyes were welling over now. "Imp..."
Sera shook her head. "Shut up, I'm not done." She took a deep breath to steady her sobs, clenching down on Evelyn's hand with hers. "You're nothing like a bloody noble. I love that. You bust your arse tryin' to do the right things even when you want to do the bad thing. I love that. You went back for Hawke and died for it, and I hate that I love that. You're not like anyone else. You look at me like no one else ever has, and Andraste help me, I love that. I love you."
Evelyn couldn't help it. She pulled the thief down to where Sera lay fully flush to her side and held her close. "Sera. My Sera." Evelyn placed a kiss on top of the head that had found its way into her neck, the elf still shaking with her sobs. "I love you so much, my imp. You're the reason I do any of this. I want the world to be a better place for you."
"You sobby tit," Sera complained into her neck. She gave a weak slap to Evelyn's chest, but the assassin merely pulled her closer and tighter.
"We're both sobby tits right now, imp." Evelyn chuckled through her own tears. "I'm sorry I died. That wasn't the plan. I didn't know it got me that deep until I got back. When you helped me up, I saw it. I saw stuff come out of the cut. I made sure you didn't see it, then told the Wardens off. Maker, I was so out of it. It's hard to remember." She burrowed her face further into Sera's hair, tightening her hold until she feared she would hurt the girl. "I just wanted you safe. I wanted us all safe. I couldn't leave Hawke lying there, imp. You wouldn't have, either."
Sera gave a grunt and sniffed. "I dunno, barely like the bird, to be honest. But yeah... reckon not."
"Is Hawke all right?"
"Ugly, but yeah." Sera rolled over an her back and looked over at Evelyn, her face a mess of tears and a little snot. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying, but the redness only made the grey-green more prominent, and the human found herself entranced almost immediately. She reached up to wipe the tears from Sera's right cheek, letting her hand linger there to trace the outline of her jaw, her nose, then her lips. Evelyn loved every single detail of the face in front of her, every individual freckle dusted across it.
"I could stay right here staring at you forever." Sera's hand came up and covered hers when Evelyn spoke, and the elf's eyes darted down to her lips and back up to her eyes.
"I don't mind the view, either, Shiny."
Evelyn's eyes slid closed when Sera brushed her nose against hers. She felt so warm, comfortable. She loved the feeling of their shared sanctuary in each other, the impenetrable fortress they'd built around themselves as they fell in love. She had a flashback of the first night they'd shared a bedroll, and smiled at the memory of how nervous and stiff she had been. This present moment was such a contrast that she couldn't stop the chuckle that rumbled in her throat. She felt Sera smile at the sound, and the elf lightly kissed her.
"What's funny?" The question was breathed against her mouth, and Evelyn chose not to answer, kissing the woman instead.
She kept in mind that she didn't know how long it had been since her last mint cleanse, so she kept it light, even when she had to fight every instinct inside of her screaming to make it deeper. How could she have feared this? Sera made more sense than anything else in Evelyn's world. She was the only thing that fit, the only future she saw. Damn the world. Damn them all for this very thing: loving this girl.
"I love you." Evelyn nipped at Sera's bottom lip playfully, opening her eyes to gauge Sera's reaction to having the words randomly dropped.
She wasn't disappointed. A grin three meters wide appeared on her imp's freckled face, lighting up her eyes in that way that made Evelyn's heart skip, but then it dimmed and a thoughtful look replaced it. "So weird. You're the first person to say that to me. Even Lady Emmald never... she just... thought coin made up for it. And fucking cookies."
"Cookies?" Evelyn was confused, but Sera shook her head.
"I'll tell you one day. It's stupid."
"Nothing about you is stupid, Sera. It's kind of an honor to say it to you first, if I'm honest." She let her eyes scan over Sera's face again, taking it in as best she could. "I'm not sure I would ever trust anyone to love you like I do."
"Then don't go dyin' on me again, yeah? Don't make me say it to you when you can't hear it." Sera's eyes flickered down to their joined hands between them, giving a squeeze. "I told you when they were done bringing you back. I didn't even mean to say it, it just came out. I'm not good with words like you, but it hurt, Shiny. It hurt a lot that the first time I said that to anyone, it was the most important person to me, and you couldn't even hear it."
Evelyn's heart wrenched. She pressed her forehead against Sera's, as if she could pass her thoughts through flesh and bone so that Sera could know everything about how she felt. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I hurt you again."
"I've hurt you, too. And I meant to. I get so mad at myself when I think about Redcliffe and what I almost did. I just wanted you to hurt like I was hurting, and that was wrong. I'm sorry for that. I really am. I love you, and I think I even loved you then."
Evelyn mumbled her response. "The snow storm at Haven. Before Redcliffe. That's when I knew."
Sera shuffled even closer to her. "It was different that night. And every time after when we're doing it. It got better."
Evelyn chuckled, bringing their hands up to her mouth to kiss Sera's knuckles. "I was going to tell you that night we were attacked on our way to Crestwood. That's why I asked you what this is. I wanted to know if I were going to make a fool out of myself declaring my undying love." She gave a derisive snort, rolling her eyes at herself.
"Nah, we would have banged on the river bank and gotten caught by your sister and Beth when they snuck off for a snog." Sera giggled, and Evelyn sighed at the sound. She loved that laugh.
"Speaking of... can I get a chew stick and some mint? There's something I want to show you."
"What's that, then?" The grin in her voice told Evelyn she knew exactly what she meant.
"How much I want to put my tongue in your mouth." The blunt honesty made Sera dissolve into peals laughter, and the elf rolled off the bed and hit the floor with a resounding thump.
The door cracked open at the moment Sera's full weight hit the old wooden floor, and Cassandra's scarred face appeared around the corner of it. Evelyn's smile grew at the sight of her mentor, and the thought of kissing Sera silly briefly flew from her mind. "Cass!" she exclaimed happily, and the Seeker's eyes lit up as well.
"Evelyn! You're awake!" She pushed into the room, sunlight flooding it as the door fully opened. The warrior rushed to the foot of the bed and placed a hand on Evelyn's shin beneath the sheet. "Never do that to us again!"
Evelyn had the mind to blush. "I didn't mean to, obviously. And I'm all right! Just a little banged up."
The uncomfortable look that passed over her friend's features was a like shadow that briefly blocked the sun. "I should find your sister. She and Bethany Hawke have led the healing for you since... well. I shall return. Don't get up, whatever you do." She looked down at Sera. "And despite the fact she is awake, any... strenuous... activity must subside. Understood?"
Sera's look of utter confusion was enough to tell her that she didn't know what Cassandra was on about, and Evelyn grinned at the opportunity in front of her. "She's saying we can't fuck, imp." Sera began laughing again, and the Nevarran's face turned four shades of purple.
"Evelyn!" Cassandra's indignant tone was one for the record books, and Evelyn was sorely disappointed Varric wasn't around for it. "Maker, you are truly yourself!" She flipped around disappeared, closing the door behind her, and Evelyn looked back at the still cackling elf sitting by the bed.
"So, imp... how about that chew stick we talked about?"
Hawke woke up with the now-familiar throbbing in the left side of her face, and she reached up to gingerly touch the tender tissue around her eye. She still couldn't see out of it, and according to the healers, it could be a permanent injury. The demon's claw had ruined it, but the healing magic had restored it so that wasn't a busted grape in a hole. The barracks were already half empty, the soldiers having changed shifts at dawn. The light snoring in her left ear told her Isabela still slept, even if the pirate was out of her line of sight.
Man, that had been a fight. Isabela had been furious, more mad than she had been with Hawke in years. She knew it was because she had genuinely scared her captain, though Isabela would never admit it. Three days had passed since Hawke woke up in this very cot with the pirate glaring at her, and Isabela had calmed with the pass of time. She had even told Hawke she loved her twice since she had woken, with no encouragement. Just a random whisper in her ear, both times.
But it was enough that Hawke was thankful Evelyn Trevelyan had not left her. The thought of Trevelyan made Hawke feel guilty again. She had been stupid, acting the hero, and almost killing the most important person in Thedas. But she hadn't intended Evelyn to be there to save her. She had intended to die right there in the Fade, her name and face a memory to those that knew her.
Now I'm here, half blind. Maker, did you really not want me that bad?
Hawke cleared her throat, feeling her stomach rumble for food. It was likely well into the morning at this point, as she and Isabela stayed up late the night before, playing cards with Varric in the mess. She pushed herself up, rubbing her good eye free of the sleep gook. Eggs sounded like a thing that needed to happen in her life.
"Mmm." The soft hum made her swivel her head around to fix her eye on Isabela, who was stretching out in the cot beside hers. "Good morning, sweetness. Sleep okay?"
Hawke gave a shrug. "No worse than usual. Face still hurts. I want some alcohol."
"Spoken like a true pirate. Thought any more about the eye patch, love?" It was a serious question made in jest, but Hawke shook her head.
"Not until the swelling goes down completely and I know for a fact that it's gone." She shrugged into her weapon harness, buckling the straps over her torso. "Want to get food?"
Isabela made another noise of affirmation, then swung her long legs over the edge of her cot. Hawke tried not stare at the length and roundness of her thighs, her memory of the feel of them wrapped around her head too much for her. It had been weeks at this point. She had talked big shit in Rutherford's office the night Tabris had appeared, but it was just to get a rise out of the former knight-captain. She hadn't actually had Isabela to herself since the night they had taken the Keep. Her eye never left the captain's ass as they walked to the mess hall to get their plates. She was forced to look away when they sat at a table, and Hawke felt robbed.
"I just wish the Inquisitor hadn't gone through all the whiskey when we arrived. This ale is like water." Isabela drained her cup, then reached for the metal pitcher again to refill it.
"She will likely agree with you once she wakes up," Hawke replied, her mouth full. "That wound is gonna hurt."
"No worse than that eye." The reply came from behind them in Hawke's blind spot, but she recognized Iron Bull's voice without seeing the qunari man appear. "Trust me, I know. Mind if I join you?"
Isabela made a gesture with her hand at an empty chair and he finally came close enough that Hawke didn't have to break her neck to see him. The wooden chair groaned under the mass settling into it, and Hawke had a brief thought of it smashing beneath his bulk and had to stifle a chuckle. He didn't have a plate of food, but he did have a tankard, which was something of an accessory for him if he was not holding his ax, instead.
"I saw the Boss's wound at last heal. It looks fuck tons better than when it happened. She'll have to do some training to get her strength back, but she's going to be fine." He studied Hawke's face for moment, and then his mouth set into a thin line. "I hate to break it to you, but that's a total loss."
Hawke felt her gut sink, but she shook her head at his words. "Healers said we won't know until the swelling is gone. I won't count it gone until it's gone, Tiny."
Bull nodded his head. "Sure. But if you want, I'm good at making patches. Not because you're blind," he added disarmingly when Hawke opened her mouth to protest. "You're not gonna want sand and sun. Need to protect it, if you want a chance at fully healing it. And if it's lost, well... may as well get used to it, right?"
Isabela remained quiet, which allowed Hawke to think it over without her lover's favorable input. "I guess you have a point," she conceded once she had swallowed her pride to do so. "I'll give it go."
"It's not so bad. Gives you an edge when someone underestimates your ability because of it." He grinned, and Hawke gave a dry chuckle. He stood up and raised his tankard in parting as he walked back to the table where his company sat.
Isabela gave it exactly thirty seconds before she said, "It took a horned man to convince you to do what I've asked you to do for almost a week now? Good show, love."
Before Hawke could defend the position, the mess hall door opened and Cassandra Pentaghast came in with hurried steps, her head whipping around as if looking for someone. When she caught sight of Isabela and Hawke in the far corner, she turned her direction towards them and made her way over.
"Have you seen the Inquisitor's sister, or yours?" The Seeker's eyes were bright for the first time since the Inquisitor had fallen, and Hawke raised her good eyebrow.
"Not this morning. Is everything all right?"
"The Inquisitor is awake. She requires a healer's eye for clearance to journey back to Skyhold."
"I'll let them know if they show up." Hawke and the Seeker traded a nod after the most cordial snippet of conversation the two had ever shared. She had seen a different side to the woman here, the first time she had seen the compassion that Pentaghast held. It humanized her to Hawke so that she was no longer some ravenous zealot of the Maker's, though a lot of that image was through Varric's embellished construct. The dark circles under the Seeker's eyes told the story of how the Inquisitor's situation had dogged her, even if she hadn't shown it.
Cassandra exited the mess hall, and Bull, having heard the Inquisitor was awake, followed her out. Hawke turned her face back around to Isabela, who looked relieved at the news, as well. "Out of the forest, then. Back to the majestic castle?" Her Captain gave her a smirk, which Hawke returned.
"Back to our holey roof in the Holy Herald's roost." Hawke raised her cup and Isabela mirrored her.
"Why did you sneak off to heal Evelyn alone this morning?"
Ellen posed the question to Bethany as the two walked around the outside wall of Griffon Wing Keep, leaving a trail behind them as their robes dragged the sand. She'd found Beth in the mess hall after leaving Sera alone with her still-sleeping sister. She'd asked her to walk with her, and Bethany had accepted less than eager, likely aware of the reason Ellen wanted to take a stroll.
"I didn't sneak off." The older mage rolled her dark eyes in annoyance at the phrasing. "I just didn't want to wake you, so I slipped out as quietly as possible."
"Sneaking, by exact definition, Beth." Ellen gave her a gentle nudge. "You're worrying me. I don't think you're putting back what you're giving out. I was glad to find you in the mess hall just because I think that's the first time I've actually seen you eat more than an apple at a time."
"Just because you're not there to see it doesn't mean it didn't happen," Bethany argued back, her cheeks growing red. "I'm eating, and I'm sleeping as well as I can with these bloody nightmares."
Ellen looked over at her intended in surprise. This was the first time she was hearing of Bethany having nightmares, and she was slightly upset that she had not told her sooner. "Nightmares? Talk to me, Beth."
Bethany scoffed, looking out towards the canyon that lie just behind the keep to the west. "I see my sister, crumpling before a monster with a thousand eyes, then I see your sister finish what Marian could not, I see her blast it with green light from her hand, and then her pull Marian through with her... it isn't so much nightmares, but I see what happened in the Fade. The memory of it is there, just like a play on stage."
Ellen's brow furrowed, worried with the news. "I've seen no such replays in the Fade when I sleep. In fact, I've slept so soundly I don't remember my dreams because I'm so tired."
Bethany sorted of crumpled a bit. "I can't explain it. I don't know. The energy is just there on my plane."
"Is it the spirits that answered?" Ellen's next question was hushed, barely more than a whisper that could be heard over the breeze around them.
Bethany shrugged. "I don't know. It is an odd way of enticing me to deal, is it not?"
Ellen agreed. Demons would carefully woo you, waiting to terrify you until you refused their proposition. "And you've not been accosted at all?"
"No. Have you?"
Ellen shook her head. "I have not. I'm not eager for the repayment process."
Bethany gave a long sigh, and nodded. "Nor am I. But I still think that it was worth it, even now. I would never wish that pain on you, Ellen. Never."
"Lady Trevelyan! Lady Hawke!" The call came from behind them, and they turned to see runner coming up, his Inquisition seal glinting on his chest in the sunlight. "The Inquisitor has woken, Seeker Pentaghast asks that you return to the Keep for a look at Her Grace."
Ellen felt a thrill of excitement run through her, and she looked at Bethany with wide eyes, but her lover was already falling into step with the scout, heading back to the Keep. It seemed that their conversation was over for now, but soon they would have their privacy back within Skyhold, given that Evelyn was fit for the travel.
All the two mages could do until the spirits called was wait.
The overdone luxury of the Orlesian carriage loaned to them by some noble was enough to make Evelyn feel nauseous. She could hear the man from Crestwood's accusation that the Inquisitor would be in one of them rather on horseback rankled her, the proving of his words being her ass sitting on a velvet covered cushion now. Sera's face was also one of distaste, the elf sitting beside her with her ankles and arms crossed and locked. They were alone in the cab, but Cassandra and Iron Bull flanked it outside, the muscle for Evelyn while the woman was incapable of defending herself.
While she had been cleared for travel back to Skyhold, the assassin was also told by her sister and Bethany that she was not to, under any circumstance, stretch her torso more than her rigid scab allowed; unfortunately it limited her movement almost altogether. She could walk, but she could not run. Her daggers were out of the question. Training with anything other than her legs? No.
The healing sessions had shrunk the size and depth by great lengths, but any more damage could put her out of commission for even longer. It was paramount that she not cause herself that prolonged headache. But at the end of it all, she was just thankful to be alive. Grateful that she could look to her right and see a pouting face that she adored above all others; a pout that lit a fire in her gut when she stared too long at the gorgeous protrusion of Sera's bottom lip.
That was a very real problem for her. The moment Sera had said the things that opened them up to each other, she'd had an insatiable want for the thief's skin on hers. It was nearly all she thought about, even now as they rode in a comfortable silence towards home. It had been almost three days since she'd woken; and she'd not had Sera for weeks before that. Their room at Griffon Wing Keep may have been private, but there was no way they could have let loose there with soldiers constantly patrolling. She still had her rule about treating Sera like a tavern wench, preferring her room at the castle above all. As result, she hadn't had a moment like that with her imp since before they'd left Skyhold a month before.
Those words being spoken between them had relieved them both, and their alone time after was spent with kisses and touching. But Sera was adamant that they not take it any further than that until she was completely healed because, in her words, Evelyn would "get what's coming to her" the next time they found themselves tangled together. The thought thrilled her and terrified her in equal parts because of the elf's spontaneity.
Her eyes wandered now, down Sera's torso to where her legs were crossed at her ankles, paying special attention to the thighs clad in skin tight leggings. All she wanted to do right then was reach over and run a hand down one, slide it in between and press the sweet spot hidden there. She missed those hisses of pleasure from Sera's lips, the cursing praises the elf gave her when she was kissing her there. That silken heat around her tongue, that salted sweet taste... Evelyn swallowed hard when saliva pooled in her mouth at the thought of her mouth on her imp, and the noise of it caught Sera's attention.
"You all right, Shiny? Lookin' a little peaky."
Evelyn broke her gaze away from Sera's crotch and forced her eyes anywhere else inside of the cab, fixing on the empty seat across from them. "Just thinking." She shifted her hips on the bench seat, fighting the slight throb that had appeared in her leather pants. Her fingers flexed on the edge of the velvet cushion.
Sera watched her for a few seconds, then Evelyn felt, rather than saw, the understanding light up the elf's face. "I know what's wrong with you, loony. You wanna touch, yeah?" The grin on Sera's face was both teasing and sympathetic, if a smile could hold both.
Evelyn pursed her lips, but gave Sera a single nod. "I miss you, that's all."
"I'm right here, and so are my bits. Just gotta wait a little longer before you can play again." She reached over and covered one of Evelyn's flexing hands with her own. "I don't wanna be the reason you hurt yourself, Shiny. I wanna know you're good."
Evelyn spread her fingers on the seat and Sera's slid through them, latching on to the entire top of her hand. "I know. I know," she whispered miserably. "I just... Maker, to be inside of you, imp. Especially now that I can actually tell you the words caught in my throat every time you come undone for me."
Now Sera was the one shifting uncomfortably on the bench. "Talkin' about it is makin' me... You're doing it on purpose."
Evelyn shook her head, leaning over to place a gentle kiss to the thief's temple, and breathed her next words directly into her ear so no one outside could hear. "No. I'm being honest. I can't wait to tell you how much I love you while you're coming with me inside of you."
The fingers threaded through hers clamped down at the declaration, and a huff of hot air escaped the elf's lungs. "Well, that bloody did it," she groaned quietly, and Evelyn saw her squeeze her thigh muscles together.
Evelyn was already tracing her lips down Sera's neck, unable to stop herself from placing a tiny kiss here and there now that her mouth was so close. The fingers on her hand never relented, only squeezed harder when Evelyn allowed her canines to scrape over the quickened pulse point on Sera's throat. It had been so long since she had marked Sera that there were no fading bruises; Evelyn frowned at that. She always left her lover a small reminder of their time together, and this blank canvas just wouldn't do. Her unoccupied hand pried itself from the seat cushion and instead reached up to cup Sera's face gently, turning it to face her.
"I would very much like to kiss you now." Evelyn's plea was spoken against lips that had already slightly opened to initiate a kiss that took both their breaths. She knew they were pushing it, but this slow kiss and resulting light touches weren't what Evelyn would define as "strenuous". That had been what Cassandra had said a few days ago before they left Griffon Wing Keep.
"Do you trust me?" Evelyn whispered to Sera when they were forced to breathe, and Sera immediately nodded.
"Course I do."
Evelyn looked over the arm of the bench seat, judged it high enough for support, then shifted to place her back to it. She spread her legs, patting the space between her thighs invitingly. "Come sit here, put your back against my chest. It's not what we want, but it may help."
Sera gave her a wary look as she switched her position, settling against Evelyn's front gingerly so as not to irritate her wound. The assassin slid an arm around her to pull her more flush to her body, and feeling herself jerk in her smalls when Sera's ass was pressed against her. She buried her nose into the nape of her neck, inhaling every bit of that familiar smokiness that calmed every storm inside of her. A nip of her teeth on a bare bit of neck made the imp whimper.
"As long as I'm not using anything but my hand, this should be okay. Can you be quiet, imp?"
"Dunno, it's you. You make me stupid."
"We don't have to do it if it's too much. I don't want to advertise, and I don't want to make you uncomfortable in any way."
"I'm fine, just don't wanna piss your sister off." Sera shifted, pulling Evelyn's hand down between her thighs. She didn't set the pace the way Evelyn predicted she may, but left her hand alone, choosing the hold on to the assassin's thigh instead. "Just be easy, yeah?"
"As you wish, love." Evelyn placed a long kiss to the crook of her neck and shoulder as she lightly traced the in-seam of Sera's pants with her pinky. Sera shivered against her, but remained silent with even breath. "Try to keep you hips still," she added in a whisper a moment later. She had started a firmer touch with a rhythm, and the elf was starting to move, too. "The carriage will rock, and that will give us away faster than any noises would."
"Easy for you to say," Sera bit out. She huffed a bit, but her hips remained resolutely still once Evelyn continued her ministrations. "Miss this so much."
Evelyn made a noise of agreement that was muffled by the way she nipped at Sera's shoulder. "Me, too. I wish we could do more. I'm so sorry I got hurt."
Sera tensed in her arms briefly, but melted again almost immediately after. "Less talk, more touch."
Evelyn answered by sliding her hand up to the leather binding of Sera's pants, pulling the knot loose and tugging the front open. Sera's breath caught when Evelyn's bare hand skimmed down the bottom of her stomach and into her smalls. The Inquisitor swallowed hard at the lump that rose in her throat when she felt how wet her imp was; any thought of teasing Sera flew out of her mind when she spread her fingers through her lover's sex. Instinct took over, and her free hand pushed the hem of Sera's smock upwards to slip beneath her chest bindings and cup her left breast. Evelyn wanted to touch as much of her as possible, and once again lamented her lack of a phallus to do work for her while her hands and mouth explored other places.
Then all of a sudden, Sera tore out of her embrace. She watched the elf dart over to the door of the carriage and flip the little switch that locked it into place and made it impossible to open from the outside. "Don't care, need this," she murmured as she came back to Evelyn on the seat. The elf swung a leg over the human's lap, reaching up to grab the back of her own shirt and tug it over her head. "Need more than just hand job, and don't care what they think. Just be careful."
"Maker, I fucking love you," Evelyn breathed as her eyes mapped the pale skin bared to them. Sera leaned down to kiss her as she carefully settled into her lap. Despite her declaration that she didn't care what anyone thought, the elf's actions were unhurried and gentle. She was mindful of Evelyn's injury when she raised the assassin's arm above her head to remove the tunic she wore.
"I'm not going to... I don't wanna get you too worked up 'cause you can't. But I just..." Sera was fumbling for the words to say without knowing how to put it. Evelyn just laced the fingers of both hands through Sera's, then gave her a tight squeeze.
"I get it. It's okay. I can handle it." Her reassurances seemed to smooth some of the worry out of Sera's eyes, and the guilt seemed to melt from her shoulders. "I need this, too. And if someone comes in, I may stab them to death."
Sera's ear twitched, and she gave a low snicker to which Evelyn gave her a confused look. "Bull," Sera whispered, jerking her head towards the opposite side of the carriage. "He knows what we're on about."
"If they're listening, so be it. They could pull off, give us some space, trust me when I say I'll be careful. But I am so serious... no one need bother us for a little while." Her eyes fell down Sera's chest, and she bit her lip against the roll of pleasure that went through her, and ignored the uncomfortable tightness around her injury. Had it not been there, the elf would have been on her back instead of on top; but alas, here they were, working with what reality gave them.
But Maker, I wish I could give her what she deserves. Decent love making to start, then the world. Would but this fucking wound heal today.
Her thoughts were interrupted when roughened hands cupped her face and led her eyes back up to Sera's softly smiling face. "You really haven't changed at all. You always eye my tits first."
"You're the one with the audacity to be utterly fucking breathtaking." Evelyn leaned forward and pressed her lips to the space between her breasts, nuzzling her nose to the curve of one. Sera's arms wrapped around her shoulders and held her close, and Evelyn felt her imp kiss the top of her head.
"Honey tongue." The word was whispered into her hair, and Evelyn merely replied by beginning to softly kiss her way over to a dusky pink nipple. Sera hissed when Evelyn sucked it into her mouth, and the arms around her shoulders tightened. "Fuck, Evelyn."
The assassin let go of her imp with an audible pop when her mouth released. "Maker, I want to. I can't. But please believe me that I want to, Sera." She didn't give her a chance to reply before she was latching back to her, and Sera lost whatever she had been about to say. The fingers buried in Evelyn's hair came around and gripped her ears, instead; but she couldn't have cared less about the pinching pain from blunt fingernails digging into the flesh. It only served to spurn her on.
The elf was moving in her lap but Evelyn made no moves to stop her. A part of her dared anyone to bang on that door demanding entrance now. Anything that happened past that was on themselves. Because as far as Evelyn was concerned, everything that mattered in that moment was in her lap, holding fast to her head as she remained focused on lavishing attention across Sera's chest. She could feel her imp's pulse ticking against her nose as she made her way out of her haven, causing something in her chest to tighten. It was always slightly faster than her own, but the rapid beats were nearly a hum at that moment, and Evelyn found herself distracted by the rhythm.
The carriage went over a bump and Evelyn gasped as Sera's knee accidentally jarred upwards into the bandage on her side, snatching her back to bleak reality. She saw white and felt the pain that seared her in such a way that her back arched and one hand pressed firmly against it. When her vision returned she saw the archer's eyes had widened in alarm and she had scrambled backwards to place more space between them despite the way Evelyn tried to pull her back. "Shit! I'm sorry, I didn't-"
"It's fine," Evelyn grunted through gritted teeth. She was doing her best to ignore the incessant throb of pain and reaching for her hand. "Come back, please?" She winced, she couldn't help it, but damn the timing. Damn the timing. She knew whatever moment they were having was over the moment Sera's knee hit her.
Sera gave her an uncertain look, gnawing her lip in her indecision. "I dunno, Shiny. We're on the road, and we... we went too far, I guess. What if we lost a wheel or somethin'?"
Evelyn groaned loudly, her frustration making tears rise in her eyes as the heat filled her face. She covered the shimmer over eyes by closing them, then let her head fall over the cushioned back of the seat. All of the pressure in her chest and her eyes became too much, and she felt hot tears spill down her cheeks. She reached up to wipe them away, but then Sera was there, catching them with her shirt crumpled in her shaking hand.
"Please don't cry," Sera breathed in a wounded tone. "It's not because-"
"I know!" Evelyn interjected miserably, sniffing hard against the snot threatening to leak out of her nose. "I know," she repeated, softer this time. "I'm just... I can't walk, I can't ride a fucking horse, I can't drink, I can't fight, I can't tend to my lover. I can't do anything with this stupid thing." The pain was subsiding, and a glance down at the bandage saw it still clean. At least she wouldn't have to wound her pride further by summoning Ellen or Bethany.
"Lucky for you your lover gets it, yeah? It friggin' blows, but we gotta let it heal. So we can get back to this stuff." Sera sighed, sagging into the bench seat in front of her. She looked as defeated as Evelyn felt.
"To hell with that, the damn thing is half healed, I was fine aside from that bump. My bed at Skyhold won't have those issues, and it will be even better by then. You're mine when we get home, imp."
Sera stared at her for a second, then gave a halfhearted chuckle as she straightened her chest bindings and slipped back into her shirt. "Home. I guess it is."
Evelyn bit her lip, her heart giving a pang at the words. Skyhold was certainly the walls, but Sera... Sera was the soul of it. "It's wherever you are. You are what makes me feel safe, protected, warm. You're everything a home should be."
Sera's bottom lip trembled, and she looked down into her lap, fiddling with her fingers. "I feel the same way about you, Shiny. That's why I... I couldn't... I didn't wanna be homeless again. Need you here, or there's nothing."
"I'm here." Evelyn pulled herself upright and swung her legs over so that their thighs were pressed along each other, and she put an arm around her. "I swear to the Maker that I will have to ripped away from you when I go."
Sera leaned into her, and Evelyn pulled them both back against the seat. "That's exactly what it felt like. Like you were ripped away. Never hurt like that before. Never wanna again."
Evelyn swallowed hard. "I won't make promises I can't keep, imp. You know what my life is like, and I can't live forever. The only thing I can promise is that I will do my best to make every moment spent with you count."
The answer came in a whisper that made another tear slide free to fall into the messy head of blonde hair tucked below her chin. "Already does."
Kallian was riding at the same pace as the rest of the caravan, her eyes straight ahead of them, and little else on her mind but fiery hair and icy blue eyes. Three days ride ahead of them, and she would finally be standing in the same space as her wife. Four years, nigh on five having passed since she'd last done the same. Her throat constricted, forcing her to clear it. She gave a glance at Little, who was trotting along beside her happily, tongue lolling out of one side of her mouth. The mabari had been utterly ridiculous since she'd figured out they were going back to Leliana, and out of the desert.
The sound of hoof beats coming up on her left made her look over just in time to see Cassandra pull her black mare along side her and take her pacing. The woman didn't say anything at first, and Kallian rolled her blue eyes at the Seeker.
"Go on, spit it out, Pentaghast. Looks like you've been packed up for a week." A smirk pulled at her lips when a light scowl was sent her way.
"What do you expect to find when we arrive, Tabris?" The question was blunt, and Kallian felt her lips purse together on their own accord.
"My very pissed off wife, ready to slit my throat. Why do you ask?" Kallian kept her words light, despite the morbid phrasing.
"I'm not sure you realize the truth of that." Cassandra was dry, but the words still held weight. "She is not as you left her."
A flash of temper reddened Kallian's sight for a moment before she swallowed it back. "Nor am I as I was. You are not as you were. What the bleeding fuck is the same as when I left? Any other obvious points you'd like to make just to bother me, Seeker? Don't you have an Inquisitor to babysit?"
"The Inquisitor requires some space. I am granting that, within reason. And I am attempting to warn you that Leliana has not had much reason to be the woman you may remember." She paused to take a breath, and Kallian took the chance to break into what she was sure was going to be an impressive monologue. The woman did love to hear herself preach once she got going.
"I have seen many of the faces she has worn, Cassandra." No goading, no spite, just words for a woman that she was once familiar with. "You know this. I know what's coming. I know it will not be bells and whistles. Just stay out of it. That is all I ask. Just give us space and time to figure it out. What pieces fall will be the pieces that fall."
Nothing was said for a few minutes more, the two women merely riding together in an almost companionable silence. When the silence was broken, it was because Cassandra was giving a nod. "I respect that. You know how I regard Leliana."
Tabris gave a single nod. "The same way she sees you, yeah. But she is still my wife. I went through the Void and back to get this far, and I still have this bloody ring to show for it." She spun the ring on her finger by muscle memory, feeling the metal grind into her flesh like so many times before. "I didn't leave her because I wanted to."
Cassandra answered with a single nod. "I hope for your sake that she considers that before she reacts. You warned her of your return, did you not?"
"Yeah, I sent her a note with the last post off from the Keep. She probably knows by now." Her fingers on the reins tightened, and her horse nickered under its breath at the slight tug. She slackened it again, and the horse paid her no further mind.
"If that is true, then maybe she will have had time to process some things." Cassandra stated it diplomatically, but Kallian gave derisive snort in response.
"Or, more like, she will stew on how slowly she wants me to bleed before I die, and trying to find a suitable place to do it where no one can hear my screams."
Cassandra rolled her eyes, but a tug on one side of her mouth was telling of the smile she was hiding. "Apt. And likely the scenario you shall face once we reach the castle."
The duelist could hear the almost wistful tone the woman held, and she felt like it had more to do with the place than the vision of Kallian's slow death. But she asked anyway, just to make sure. "You, uh, sound a little dreamy about my impending death there, Seeker. Somethin' you want to tell me, mate?"
A soft scoff answered her, and Cassandra shook her head. "Just the thought of being back to plan the next move. The demon army is no longer, but we have other pressing matters of which to attend before it is too late."
The elf gave the tall human a sidelong stare. "You're just as weird as ever, Pentaghast. Most would want for a rest in their own bed, a bath in their own quarters."
"My quarters aren't equipped for such. I use the slightly less trafficked communal bath tucked away beneath the Great Hall. I sleep above the smelter in the smithy for the warmth. And the smell of steel. It is comforting."
Kallian nodded as if she agreed, but reiterated her statement from before. "Yup. Just as weird as ever."
That earned her a rich laugh that she had not heard in years, full throated as Cassandra allowed her head to fall back. The sound of it made her blush a bit, and her ears twitched back and forth, but not in an uncomfortable way. She found herself pleased to hear it, and she realized all of a sudden that she missed the woman, at least a little bit. They had gotten to be on friendlier terms as time had passed in Orlais back then, but Kallian had shattered that fragile peace when she left Leliana.
"I have kept strange company for almost a year. I suppose I fall under its influence from time to time." Her eyes were twinkling fondly as she said it, and Kallian remembered with a twist of her gut the sound Cassandra had made the day the Inquisitor fell.
She had never imagined she would be privy to the sight of Cassandra Pentaghast uselessly beating a qunari with her bare fists just to be by someone's side like that. The memory of the way that the Inquisitor's given name clawed out of her throat gave Kallian chills even now, just over a week later. But that momentary loss of control was also when she realized that there were members of the Inquisition that were more than just that to Evelyn Trevelyan, because she had seen who had been affected most. Cassandra and the qunari, Iron Bull, had been but two of several.
The same ones that rode nearest to the carriage that contained the Inquisitor and her surprisingly elven lover. A glance back over her shoulder showed that same handful of people giving the carriage a wide berth, and the man driving it, a Warden she'd never heard of called Blackwall, beet faced as he squinted painfully.
It all clicked then, why Cassandra was up here bugging her. "I guess the Inquisitor is feeling well enough for a round or two with the lass?"
Cassandra's face darkened a bit, but she did not lose the fondness. "The Inquisitor rarely takes sage advice to heart. But they deserve the time alone, as it were."
Kallian nodded to herself again. "This is more than a military organization to you, isn't it?"
"Elaborate."
Kallian swept a hand outwards at the caravan around them, thundering along through Orlais. "This is your family, now, isn't it? Without Dorothea, without the structure of the Chantry, the Circles, the Seekers of Truth... they have become your reason, mate."
"I suppose they have, yes. Some more than others. The Inquisitor especially."
"What's she like?" It was an honest question, though Kallian had seen enough the night she met her to make the beginnings of opinions.
"Tragic, at first. But strong, stubborn. Flippant, but that has also improved, if only marginally. It is hard to explain, but the potential I saw when I first began to know her was what interested me. How the Maker had seemed to hear my prayers-"
"Pentaghast, please save me the zealous gushin', mate. I just want to know if she's well up to the job, since it sounds like you think the sun shines from her soddin' bum." It was gentle barb, but still was enough to pull Cassandra out of the tirade she was about to begin.
"She is. She is more than up to it. Despite everything I know now... I still hold faith that she is Maker sent. It is too convenient and too coincidental to be anything other than."
Kallian had a shaky relationship with the Maker. He had shit on her pretty much her whole fucking life up until Duncan found her, and that said a lot. Who the hell had to sign up to die alone in the Deep Roads in order to start their life? Who could be that cruel?
But the taint is gone now. I'm free.
The thought was her own, but it still startled her somehow. It made her brow furrow with thought, about how one of her empty prayers to a Maker she wasn't sure she believed in had been answered. She had her life back in her own hands, not dictated by poison slowly rotting her from the inside out. She was on her way back to Leliana; that was another prayer answered. Little had made it out of the Deep Roads, as had Oghren. Two more answered.
Something in her chest shifted, and she moved her entire upper torso to chase it back to where it fit again. Looking back at Cassandra, who was studying her with a shrewd expression, she gave the Seeker a nod. "Maybe it's time I gave the Maker a second chance."
Cassandra's eyes met hers for a long moment, both riding in silence through the late afternoon. Finding whatever it was the older woman sought, she gave the elf a half grin and nod before chuckling, "Maybe it is."
Hands in soft leather gloves pulled the scarlet wax seal from one of the missives that had just arrived from the Western Approach. Seeing Cassandra's hurried script, Leliana realized these were from the day the party had left the keep there to head back east. She read with a sigh of relief that Evelyn was awake and on the mend, with a bright outlook to be at full capacity within a few weeks.
She didn't write. My scouts informed me of her arrival. She should have written last post. I can't think about that. Focus.
Swallowing back her personal issues with her wife that had shown up in an Inquisition-held keep, she closed her eyes and opened them, back to the business at hand. That had only been one part of the upsetting news coming from the Approach. The news of the Inquisitor's death, and resurrection, had reached her three days before in Charter's own words. While she knew that a handful of people realized what the three mages had done, the general population of soldiers thought Evelyn had been gravely injured and required an intense healing. Leliana's relief wasn't wholly unselfish; she did not want to lose her friend. The Inquisition was secondary to that, and she wasn't sure when that had changed, though it could have been that single kiss in Haven so many months before. The memory of it made her smile. It had been pure, the purest thing she'd experienced since her first kiss with Kallian eleven years ago. Sera truly was a lucky girl, she had not been embellishing when she'd said as much to Evelyn.
She opened the next one, a coy grin pulling up both sides of her mouth as she read the short message in loopy handwriting requesting a... special... covert order from Val Royeaux, intended to be a surprise for the Inquisitor. The word surprise was underlined twice, and it made Leliana chuckle.
And speaking of Sera... Oh, my. Well, that is certainly a surprise gift if there ever was one.
Still grinning to herself, she opened the next one absentmindedly, but froze when she pulled it wide. This one was very short, a single line of handwriting that she'd not seen in years but would know anywhere, anytime. The smile dropped from her face when her breath left her lungs through her lips, and her hands tightened on the vellum as if it, too, would leave her. She stared down at the single line, her ears starting to ring with the sound of blood rushing through them as her face grew hot. She realized all at once that she had stopped breathing, and drew in a deep breath through her nose. She closed her eyes, then opened them again, wondering if she was even reading what she thought she was reading. Kallian had finally written.
Twice more she allowed her eyes to scan the words, then she crumpled the paper in one gloved hand, angrier than she had been in years... but also relieved to the point that she felt like falling to her knees. She stumbled over to the effigy of Andraste tucked into an alcove near her cot where she napped, kneeling before it so others would consider her in prayer. She clawed the ruined paper apart once more, just for one more look.
"I am coming home."
That one more look took longer than she anticipated, and she didn't break the stare until her tears were dripping from the end of her nose, blotting the ink until it was unreadable. She sniffed quietly, aware of the people just below her loft, unwilling to have any of them top the stairs at odd sounds. The spymaster did not cry. She was carved of stone. Knifey Shivdark, as Sera referred to her. She rather liked that one.
Leliana balled the paper up once more, but this time placed it in the incense tray below her statue, and picked up the white candle next to it. She placed the flame against the vellum until the edge began to blacken and curls of smoke were born from the raze, then jerked it away, using her other hand to smother what damage was building. She didn't want to do this, not truly. This was her anger acting on her behalf, playing on one of her deepest wounds that had festered into the rotted niche where her heart once thrived below her breast.
She took the tattered, wrinkled remains of the note, and opened it once more to try to gently smooth what she could. It was in a near ruin now, but she folded it carefully and put it in the front pocket of her robes. Her wedding ring hung heavily around her neck, holding her neck in her submissive position, the metal burning into her flesh as if it combated the twisted emotions that darkened her. She placed a hand on the ring through the chain mail on her chest, not daring to pull it out while here, but needing to anchor herself to it as she often did.
Maker, please give me strength. Unless this is more of your plan for my suffering.
For all of the angry, slighted woman she was... she was also still a heartbroken girl when it came to Kallian. And for all of the poison she wanted to spit, she did could not deny the flicker of something beneath it all, that is she truly were coming home, there was hope that the world could go on. Her world could go on; the work would no longer feel obligatory and suffocating, perhaps. Kallian gave her reason, gave her a rock, but that sort of trust...
Leliana did not have that trust for her wife, anymore. The knowledge of it destroyed her, and when the hurricane of emotions inside of her became too much, she made a decision. Schooling her features perfectly and wiping her face clean of tear tracks, she rocked to her feet. She would go to the untouched room that had been granted to her, and she would have some time to herself, if only to rid the pressure in her chest and try to begin sift through it all... because she was very aware that if she saw Kallian in this state, she would kill her.
She did not want to think about what that level of grief would cause. If losing Dorothea had maimed her soul, taking Kallian's life by her own hand would rend what remained of herself free. She would be a husk. No, it was much better to begin dealing with it now, preparing for her arrival, the onslaught of memories. A small breath left her as she passed through the library without a word to anyone, her pace unhurried, her face blank per usual.
Her memories with Kallian still outweighed the the memories in her absence, but not by much. Her wife had been gone now for very nearly the same amount of time they'd been together. Maybe now she would finally have her answer of why she'd left, what had pulled her from their bed. Maybe it wasn't her schedule, her damnable timing that last night when Kallian had tried to do something sweet for her. Maybe the reason she did the sweet things she did was to talk to her about it... whatever it was she was planning.
Her head was starting to throb, but she did not allow the mask to slip, even as she passed through the door that took her past Vivienne, who gave her a gentle nod that she returned. No one else was in her path as she continued on, and she made it into the room without further bother. It was as she had left it, spare clothes and little more than how she had found it when Josephine led her there the first time. She released her breath when she shut the door behind herself, reaching down and locking it.
She made it over to the bed and sat on the edge, leaning forward and cradling her aching head in her hands. So much to sift through.
But she's coming home. That's a start, Kallian Tabris.