Chapter 33: Advanced Game Theory
Summary: Jeff and Annie play some games
A/N: So there's been a delay. Ol' Celery had an accident and couldn't type for awhile there (at least not efficiently). Excuse any typos! While I'm on the mend, it remains challenging to type. :p
We're almost done with part five.
It was a bright and balmier day, at least by Colorado winter standards, as Jeff pulled the Lexus into the parking spot at Sophie's preschool. He killed the engine and took a moment to sit in utter silence and reflect.
Silent moments were precious these days.
He considered that things had been going pretty well, and he had told his therapist so just that morning. She had quizzed him about his reaction to that, and he had realized he had been tensing up. It was part of his old training, to always expect the other shoe to drop. But there didn't seem to be anything bad happening at all lately. He was overall pretty happy, and even the sleep deprivation with the new baby was going much better, relatively.
Speaking of shoes, he frowned as he picked up a small purple sock off the passenger seat.
Sebastian had been sleeping for longer stretches of time as he passed the three month mark and coasted toward month four. They were even talking about putting him in a crib, as he was outgrowing the bassinet and Annie explained it was the next logical thing to do. Part of Jeff felt an ache at the thought of getting rid of the bassinet, for it reminded him of the precious little bundle they had taken home from the hospital. Although that was a chaotic time, he cherished the bubble they had been in, and had been continually amazed by their new addition.
He may have also been sniffing the squirt's head whenever he got the chance.
Sebastian was growing rapidly, and along with the physical changes, he was becoming increasingly alert and responsive. His smile was full on now, and he was making new friends any day they took him out of the apartment. The continual awwws and oohs from even strangers made Jeff's heart swell. Sebastian had begun what Jeff referred to as chortling and Annie labeled laughing, which made for some adorable interactions between Sophie, Ruffles, and the squirt.
Annie was doing much better, as she was thriving being back at Greendale with their friends. She toted Sebastian along with her and was always content to show him off as well as attend to his needs, while feeling relieved that she wasn't in the day-to-day alone. She was even working things out with her mother, them both having called a truce after Annie declared Rachel's comments about her postpartum weight off limits while also agreeing to let Rachel be more involved with the children. It seemed going to individual therapy was helping Annie process some unresolved crap, and she had been sweet and affectionate with Jeff and their children.
He couldn't believe he could be this lucky, and he was striving to allow himself to accept where he was. True, the money issue was ever present in his mind, but he and Mark were working on luring another big client, so he remained hopeful they could figure it out. They also really needed to get a bigger place before Sebastian started walking (was that closer to a year? He couldn't remember), and he was still reluctant to accept his mother's offer of using the upcoming sale of her house to finance his own. No, his mother needed to keep that money for her retirement, and in case anything were to go south between her and Buzz.
Buzz. That was another thing. He wondered…
He was interrupted by the buzzing of his phone. Seeing it was in fact his mom, he sighed and then answered.
"Mom?"
"Oh Jeffrey, I'm so glad I didn't get your voicemail."
He knew by her tone that this wasn't a catch-up call or even an attempt to be nosy. He sat up straighter.
"What's wrong?"
Her hesitation was a tad alarming, but he pushed down the strange thoughts that started to arise about perhaps her and Buzz having a fight and ending it. He supposed he'd have her live with them for awhile. Maybe he'd have to get an even bigger house.
Crap, he needed more money.
Her voice was light but had the undercurrent of worry. "I really hate to put this on you, but I don't know what to do. The whole situation is breaking my heart. But you know, I thought maybe you could be helpful. You always have such good ideas, dear."
"What situation?"
She sighed and said, "It's about Buzz."
He was not at all surprised and silently congratulated himself on not letting down his guard.
"Mom, you know you always have a place with us. I think it all worked out fairly well when the squirt was first home from the hospital, and I hope you didn't think you weren't welcome. I know I said that stuff in the past about not wanting us to live together, but I was wrong. I'll pick you up later and we can get it all sorted out."
There was a silence for several beats before she groaned.
"Mom?"
"Jeffrey, as much as it delights me that you don't see me as a burden, I want you to know that everything's fine with me and Buzz. In fact, we were looking at purchasing a place, see since the bunnies and the cats and Hank are all smooshed into Buzz's tiny house and really we'd like a home of our own of course, but I wanted to consult with you before we did so. Will you be staying in Greendale or moving to Riverside to be near Sohpie's school?"
He considered that he and Annie were in fact in the middle of discussing that exact issue, as they were planning to have Sophie go to kindergarten in the fall, likely in Riverside, but Rachel had been pressing for a private kindergarten versus public. The thought of relying financially on Rachel for the rest of Sophie's (and likely Sebastian's) school years was not something he really wanted to do, and he knew Annie felt the same. But then Rachel had mentioned the superiority of the private system, and Annie had been full of doubts.
He suddenly remembered his mother had called him. Something about heartbreak.
"Mom, what did you call me about? What's wrong with Buzz?"
"Oh right. It's about him and Hank, dear."
"I thought he and Hank got along just fine. At least it seems so when I've seen Hank slobber all over him."
"Not my dog Hank, Buzz's son."
"I thought it was Furio."
"That's his other son, whom I've met many times. Hank is the one I haven't. He and Buzz just don't get on, and Buzz is reluctant to upset things too much, so he hasn't introduced us. But he told Hank all about me, and now Hank is refusing to let Buzz go to Sebastian's birthday party. It's just terrible."
Her sniffs pulled at his heart, but he had questions. He began to run his hand through his hair as he sorted them in his mind.
He asked, "Sebastian?"
"His grandson, dear. Remember, he has the same name as your little darling. I know it's all terribly confusing, but try to keep up."
He groaned and leaned back on the headrest.
"That's crazy that his son won't let Buzz go to his grandson's birthday because he's with you. You're amazing."
"I know, dear, and thank you. But of course I don't take this personally since we've never met, but Hank's always had issues with Buzz, because he feels he abandoned him when he was in high school. You see, Buzz was undercover for a while and didn't get to see his family that much. It really put a strain on things, and Hank's never been able to forgive him. He lets Buzz see Sebastian every few months, but you and I know that's not nearly enough, dear. And now this birthday party thing has Buzz completely crushed. He can't even draw any more ducks. He's sitting in the garage with our Hank and welding, dear. He only welds when he's distraught."
The image of Buzz Hickey welding slightly unnerved Jeff, and he knew better than to inquire about what he was making, as he really didn't care.
"That sounds like a pretty sucky situation, but I'm not sure what I can do about it."
There was a pause before she ventured, "I was hoping since you're so good at mediating that you could help them? I'd ask Ian, but Buzz doesn't go in for all that therapy stuff, even if I think he and Hank could use some good family therapy. But if we were to all get together, let's say I introduce him to you and you get them to talk to each other?"
There was an almost pathetic lift at the end of her sentence, and it kind of got to him, but he was also irritated.
He snapped, "That wouldn't work. Since he seems to have a problem with the idea of his father living with someone, I'm sure he wouldn't want to meet you or me. You'd need a ruse of some sort to get them together."
"Ooooh, you're right. Maybe we could…."
-"Mom, I'm not getting involved in this."
X
X
He managed to get his mom off the phone, knowing full well this was not the end of this conversation, as she was pushy and seemed to think he could save the situation. His ego was flattered, but he really didn't see how he could do anything, and it all just seemed kind of messy.
He got out of the Lexus, the purple sock now fully kneaded in his hand, casting a frown at the backseat at Sophie's booster seat and noting there was barely room for the baby car seat for his son. He considered he really did need a different car, and then began to mentally total up how much that would cost him.
Smiling tightly at the thought, he turned toward the school, knowing that a munchkin cure for his grumpiness would be arriving shortly.
Shortly. She was pretty short.
He snorted and reminded himself not to mention it to her, for that never went over well. He half-jogged to the side entrance where the parents usually waited.
Well, perhaps not parents. More the moms. The dads never seemed to be that interested, which also irritated him.
As he rounded the corner, he internally braced for the onslaught and turned on his bright smile.
"Oh, Jeff! It's so good to see you!"
"Jeff! Come over here! I want to show you this cute picture I took of Sophie and Daniel last week!"
"Jeff! Yoo hoo! I haven't seen you in ages! I'm so sorry, but I sprained my ankle and have just been out of commission!"
He waved and did his best to acknowledge all of the attention coming his way, shrugging apologetically as he made his way closer to the bench. He sat, and was soon in the middle of a small horde of mostly attractive women in their 30s and 40s.
Okay, so he was finding his grumpiness dissipating pretty rapidly. It was hard to be caught up in his head when his ego was being stroked.
He considered that Annie had been making efforts to stroke his… ego… more frequently as of late, even if they hadn't fully ventured into other territory just yet. It was something he was not complaining about in the slightest.
"Ladies, I have arrived. What have I missed?"
"Jeff! I don't think I've seen you since last week! You know we need a new member of the PTA."
The dreaded Parent Teacher Association. He inwardly cringed. He had attended some meetings before the squirt was born, and they were insipid. So far he had deftly maneuvered out of actively signing up for anything outside of his attempt at munchkin softball/Tball, which wouldn't be returning until the springtime.
"Ahh Darlene, I'm so sorry, but with my law firm…"
There were several wistful sighs.
-"And the new baby…"
More sighs.
-"It's been difficult to make the commitment. Plus, you know, munch...er...the Tball team. I really want to get that started again in the spring, which you all know, will be soon."
There were murmurs of understanding along with disappointment, and he hoped he was scott free.
"We could really use a lawyer to take a look at the new school contract with the lunch vendor."
"Oh, um, that's not really my area."
"But would you, please? Pretty please?"
He smiled and nodded, which elicited a sea of claps.
"Of course I will, Brooke. It's not a problem."
"Daddy!"
His polite smile morphed into a giddy grin as he turned to see the munchkin running toward him, her Dora the Explorer backpack flung over one shoulder. He hunched down from his already seated position to pulled her into a hug as she crashed into him.
"Oh, I missed you, munchkin."
She giggled and smiled up at him as they moved out of the embrace.
"I did so many things today! We have a guinea pig now! He's so cute!"
"Wow, that's crazy. Those are super adorable. Don't mention it to grandma."
"And his name is Mister Flufferstein."
"Ahh, that's nice."
"I named him."
He squinted as he continued to marvel at her enthusiasm for a rodent.
"I see. Did anyone else have a say in that or is that just your name for him?"
"I won, Daddy. I had the best name. Even Daniel thought so, and he's super grumpy."
Jeff nodded and then stood, reaching for her hand. He turned to spy the moms all greeting their children while most also still eyeing him, even if only slightly surreptitiously.
He smirked and called out, "Well, we must be going. So long, ladies. See you tomorrow morning."
The laughter and murmurs all around filled him with a sense of short term gratification, and he let the munchkin tug on his hand and they proceeded to walk to the car.
"Daddy, let's make plans for when Mommy gets home. Let's take down all the hearts and put up Christmas decorations, ride my bike really fast around the block and to the park, make a movie theater at home and snuggle and watch Frozen, go to McDonald's, and eat all the candy with Mommy and Sebastian. Oh, and Ruffles and you, Daddy. You get to come too."
"Ahh...that sounds delightful." He glanced down with a full on smirk to see her gazing ahead, her wavy bob moving back and forth in the most carefree way.
They arrived at the Lexus, and he opened the backdoor, placed her in the booster seat, and strapped her in
He asked nonchalantly, "Were you missing something?" and then held up the purple sock.
Instantly, she frowned and then barked, "I don't need it, Daddy! You need it more." She then stuck out her foot, and he saw that it was sporting a dark green sock he recognized as being from a back-up pair he had stuffed into her cubby at the suggestion of her teacher the last time this happened.
Matching had never been one of her strong suits, but she had other useful qualities.
Although he was slightly perplexed on how she sometimes would run around one-sockless, he wasn't going to argue. Instead, he grabbed Bear, who had been awaiting her in the backseat, and shoved the sock onto one of its feet (paws?).
The resulting giggles made him think he had done all right there.
X
X
"Annie, we can't."
He continued to rock Sebastian in his arms, and although the crying had stopped a few minutes ago, he knew the squirt liked the rhythm. Annie was staring up at him with Disney eyes and had started to bite her lip.
"No."
"Jeff, you're being really short-sighted you know."
"Not as short as you."
She held her mouth in a firm line and there was a barely registered flutter of her lashes as she likely attempted to compose herself.
She huffed and then looked up at his boyish grin and said, "Buzz is part of our family. We could really do a lot to help him."
He knew she was right. Although part of him was still pretty irritated at having to get involved in his mother's romantic life, he knew by now that Buzz Hickey was different than the rest of them. He loved Annie and Sophie. He assumed he loved his mother. And he had been pretty darn helpful and impressive with the awful Cornwallis incident.
With a heavy sigh, he agreed with a nod.
The resulting squeal and hug was a good enough reward.
X
X
Somehow he managed to work his usual magic and corral the Beautify Greendale Committee to play another game of D&D. It turned out Hank Hickey was a regular player and Buzz of course had up until now shown no interest in it, but ended up allowing himself to be pulled into it at Apartment 303.
Usually Jeff played with Neil, Abed, Magnitude, Vicky, and occasionally Anthony and Pierce at Neil's place about every month or so. It had been awhile given the arrival of the squirt, so he had been slightly out of practice, but he had faith in Abed, who also possessed the advantage of having by now known Buzz a lot better as he continued to shadow him for his detective film research. Plus, as Jeff unfortunately knew from a conversation a while ago with his mom, Abed and Troy had been present at a dinner with Buzz, his mom, Furio and Furio's husband, so Jeff supposed Abed had surmised a decent understanding of Buzz as a father.
Jeff had no clue how Buzz was as a father. The fact that his sons had two radically differing opinions of him was perplexing. It at least meant something to Jeff that Buzz was actively trying with Hank, although perhaps lately had been giving up.
Buzz Hickey was no Paul Edison. And he certainly was no William Winger.
"So, I think that went well."
Jeff let out a long sigh as he turned to face Abed in the hallway outside Apartment 303. Annie had already slid down onto the floor and was muttering to herself and the others had shuffled off, even Troy who had whistled his befuddlement before declaring he needed to meet up with Penelope for a date.
It was 3am but Jeff tried not to think too hard on that one.
He managed, "Abed, that was a disaster. Buzz and Hank are yelling at each other. They are not reconciled. God, my mom's going to kill me."
Abed tilted his head and said, "They're talking, Jeff. Trust me, this is better."
"I hope you're right." He then crossed his arms and stared down at Annie. He added, "And you. What the hell?!"
She lifted her head and squinted at him defiantly with perhaps a hint of sexiness, but that might have been his imagination.
"I think I was perfectly justified. He was going to leave."
"Chloroform, Annie? You know he was just more pissed off when he woke up during the Dean's big scene." The images of Annie leaping across the room with an alarmingly convenient gob of chloroform toward a freaked out Hank Hickey would be forever emblazoned in his brain.
She murmured something and then huffed. "Well it's probably a good thing he missed most of that anyway. I need to have a serious conversation with the Dean. Plus anyway, Hank then stayed so I don't see what the big deal was."
He was speechless, so he turned toward Abed.
"Annie's really good with chloroform. I appreciated the call back to season 2."
"Of course you did, Abed."
"I have to get back in there, Jeff. They need a dungeon master."
With that, Abed turned and walked back into the apartment.
X
X
"Sooo?" He glanced down at a contented Annie, who was in his arms. He swore he heard her purring.
"I really enjoyed that."
Of course she had, but he wanted to ask to be sure. After the adventurous late night they had both been more than a little wired and had continued their debate over the chloroform and other strategies back to their apartment, where the kids were sleeping peacefully after having been watched over by Lacey. They had sent her home in a cab with some extra money for her trouble in having to stay extra late. They had argued in the living room for about ten minutes before they started making out and then took things to the bedroom, being careful not to wake Sebastian, whose bassinet was no longer attached to the bed but was over near the wall.
Jeff had remembered the past sexy times above Dildopolis with the purple scarves, and inwardly recognized how far he had come in his ability to compartmentalize.
The fact that they were able to go all the way was a relief for both of them, as it had been so damn long. They had been easing into things over the past few weeks, and Annie insisted she was ready. He wondered if the chloroform and interrogation of Abed thrills had been part of that and then quickly shoved that idea out of his mind.
She was now tracing his nipples, and he knew the code.
With a gulp, he asked, "Really? You know I need some time to recover."
She half shrugged and then smiled coyly up at him while murmuring her understanding.
Feeling his resistance already waning, he whimpered, "Annie, it's 4am."
Placing a kiss near his ear, she said, "We're used to not getting any sleep anyway. We might as well have some fun."
"Can Hector the Well Endowed at least come back out to play?"
"Hmm. He has had a busy night, but I suppose…"
"We have to be quiet. We don't want to wake up the hobgoblins."
X
X
The next day, they received word from Dorie that the intervention had been successful.
"He's so happy, dear. Whatever you and your friends did, you have my gratitude."
Jeff frowned as he paced just outside the kitchen.
"Buzz didn't tell you?"
"No, he didn't and I knew better than to pry. But he's been whistling dear. Whistling. And this is his happy whistle, dear."
He tried to push out any other thoughts of Buzz's happy whistle and glanced over to see Annie humming as she slid the pancakes onto a plate.
X
X
"So we really think he's big enough for this?"
Annie nodded emphatically as she placed Sebastian into Sophie's old crib. Jeff had already de-transformed it and they had gifted Sophie with a "big girl" purple twin bed. She had been pretty excited about it and was in the middle of lining up her various stuffed creatures on the quilt. Even Ruffles seemed to take it in stride and had shown them all she was perfectly capable of jumping up there too.
Continuing to gaze lovingly at the baby, who was staring up at them with what Jeff swore was confusion while kicking his now chubby legs, Annie cooed, "You'll have so much more room now. You're such a big boy. Yes you are."
The resulting laughter was confirmation that they had done the right thing. Jeff instantly felt his heart swell and placed one arm around Annie. He used his free hand to give a gentle poke at Sebastian's chest.
"Oooooh!"
(chortle chortle)
He hoped he'd get to play a game of D&D with Sebastian one day.