Vrskaandrea: Thank you as always for your glowing review. The new Dean certainly doesn't have the same problem as Old Dean with sharing her feelings.

Makanie: Glad you approve. :)

Blondie 20000: Thanks for reviewing. I know you're not a fan of Dana/Caleb and thats okay. At least you will het to see Missouri in this chapter. :D

Arsamandi 1: Wow! Thanks for such a great review. The lamp flicking was my favourite part tbh. And them going by the station, well I've always thought it a bit strange that they aren't suspects more often. I mean people die or go missing and the two extremely good looking guys in the noticeable black car disappear too...

VegasGranny: Yes, Missouri hangs around for a few chapters.

CHAPTER 34

Dean wasn't particularly pleased about being in Lawrence again and the absolute last place she wanted to be was standing on Missouri Mosley's front porch, but here she was watching Sam press the doorbell and singing 'I'm Henry the Eighth' in her head.

"Oh, we gotta ask if we can use the washer while we are here and do some laundry." Dean said.

"Laundry?" Sam asked confused by the random subject change but the door opened before he had a chance follow it up.

"Why, hello boys." Missouri said in her soft soothing voice. "I'm so glad you agreed to come visit."

She stepped aside and let them into her house. The boys greeted her and she hugged them both.

"You both look well, all things considered." She said looking at the both, pausing on Sam for a moment. "And of course you may use my washer to do your laundry, Sam."

Dean smirked, Sam just looked even more bewildered.

"Thanks? Any way, thank you for letting us come. Bobby was hoping you would be able to see if this curse had left some kind of mark on Dean." Sam said as they followed Missouri into her parlour.

"Yes. Bobby explained all that on the phone, but first let's sit and catch up. Would either of you like a coffee or cold drink?" She asked.

"Cold drink would be perfect." Dean said ('second verse, same as the first...').

"Yes, that would be good." Sam agreed.

"You two sit and I'll be right back."

"Would you like some help?" Dean asked, ('I'm Henry the Eighth, I am...'), not forgetting his manners and trying to avoid another run in with Missouri's spoon.

"No. You've had a long drive, now sit an relax."

The Winchester's sat in Missouri's cool parlour and tried to relax from their long journey. Missouri returned shortly with three tall glasses of iced tea. She placed them down on the coffee table and handed a glass each to Sam and Dean. Taking the last glass for herself, Missouri sat opposite.

"So, how have you both been?" Missouri asked looking at Dean with a gentle smile. "Apart from the obvious?"

"I'm dealing." Dean said. ('She's been married seven times before...').

"And what about you Sam? Any visions?"

"No, none." Sam said, visibly uncomfortable.

"And the demon blood?" The psychic asked.

Sam paled and shifted on the seat.

"Hey! We're here for me! Not so you can go dragging up a heap of crap that Sammy did...that doesn't even matter any more because he was willing to sacrifice himself to save you and this whole stinking planet!" Dean stood, pointing at the older woman in front of her.

Sam reached up and took hold of Deans arm.

"Stop." He said. "It's okay."

He pulled on Deans arm until she sat again. He kept a tight grip on her, though he wasn't sure if it was to keep Dean sitting or just to keep himself grounded. He addressed Missouri.

"No Missouri. I haven't taken any since Lucifer left. Not so much as an itch for it." He said evenly.

"I'm sorry Sam, Dean, I didn't mean to upset either of you. It was never my intention."

"That's okay, Missouri." Sam said with a lopsided smile. "It was a difficult time for us and I'm grateful...we're grateful that we're both still here, both still together."

He gave Deans arm a squeeze.

"I'm sorry Missouri." Dean mumbled. ('And every ones been a Henry...')

"You don't need to apologise to me Dean, I'm well aware of your protective nature toward Sam. I overstepped, but please know, it was only out of concern for your brother."

Dean nodded.
"Alright, now that that is all cleared up, I think maybe it's time we think about supper."

She got up from her chair and walked into the kitchen, returning a short time later with a list.

"Sam would you be able to go to the store and get this for me?"

Sam looked at Dean for a moment, who just shrugged.

"Sure I can. No problem at all."

He stood and took the list and some cash then left the house.

•

Missouri watched the youngest Winchester geti in the Impala and drive away. She turned and faced Dean.

"Your brother is gone and, while I enjoy a little ditty as much as the next person, you can stop screaming at me now."

Dean just looked at her.

"What's going on in there Dean?"

"What? You can't just read me?"

"Dean you have some of the strongest blocks I have ever come across. I probably couldn't read you even if I tried." Missouri said as she crossed the room and entered the kitchen.

"But...But last time,you knew about the feet and table." She said as she followed, remembering Missouri's threat to get her spoon if she put her feet on the coffee table the last time they visited her home.

"Only because it was written across your face, well that and it was a surface thought. Those I can get from you, it's the deeper stuff that you keep hidden. So come on."

"I don't want you in my head." Dean said honestly, sitting at the table. "There's stuff in there that I don't want you to see, that you don't need to see."

"Dean, I've been reading hunters a long time, I pretty sure what ever is bouncing around in that head of yours won't shock me." Missouri said.

"I've been to Hell, Missouri, actual Hell, there are memories there that you really don't want to see."

"Well, yes, your memories of Hell would be quite traumatising but Dean, I've been a psychic my whole life and I've gotten pretty good at not digging through people's minds. I'm just going to skim the surface, I won't go any deeper without your say so and if there are things in there that you don't want me looking at, don't worry, I'm not going to go searching for them." Missouri reassured Dean.

"I'm scared Missouri." Dean admitted in a rare show of emotion.

"About what? About what Bobby asked me to do?"

"No, about this curse." Dean said. "I think...I think it's changing me somehow."

"What do you mean?" The older woman asked.

"There's this...It's like there's a switch in my head." Dean explained, fidgeting with her nails. "It's like it flicks over from Dean to Dana. Dana is the name I use in public."

"Alright. Now this switch?" Missouri prompted.

"Right, um, it's like it makes me...no, enables me to do certain things."

"Things like?"

"Oh, nothing bad, just it helps me accept certain situations. Like when I got my first...period... I totally freaked out and then it was like this click in my head and it was suddenly okay, kinda." Dean shrugged. "I mean I know I should be freaking out about all this but I'm sort of cool with it. Not that I want to stay like this forever, the sooner Bobby finds a solution the better, it's just I'm worried that Sammy wouldn't understand some of my behaviour."

"Your brother loves you and I don't think there is anything you can do that will make him think any less of you."

"Are you sure?" Dean turned worried eyes onto Missouri.

•

Missouri didn't need to read Deans mind to know what she was talking about. She saw it in the way Dean would only look at her for a few seconds with worried, frightened eyed. She saw it in the way Dean hung her head and collapsed into herself. She recognised the posture as one a much younger Dean would adopt any time John would chastise the child for some perceived failure, until Dean became resistant enough to hold his head up. She silently cursed John for his tough, unforgiving nature, no matter if it was because he believed it best to raise his eldest a soldier.

"Dean? Dean please look at me?" Missouri asked softly. Dean raised her head. "This is your body." She said pointing at Dean. "And whatever you do in it, and with whom you do it, is no ones business but yours. You are a consenting adult and, as long as you are consenting, your actions are nobody else's concern, and if you don't want Sam to know, well then, I'm sure as heck not going to tell him. Your secret is safe with me, all your secrets."

A tear slipped down Deans face.

"I wasn't like that before." She whispered.

Her barriers slipped and Missouri felt all Deans fear and despair.

"Well it seems like this spell has changed more than your appearance. It seems to have affected your psyche as well. I think this 'switch' is a way for you to protect yourself."

"What if...what if it flicks over and never flicks back again." Dean asked quietly.

"I don't fully know what's going on up there but I doubt that will happen. The Dean Winchester I know would fight tooth and nail to get back."

Missouri smiled and patted Dean on the hand. She suddenly turned her head and looked out of the window.

"Your brother is almost here" She said.

"How do you know?" Dean asked, hurriedly wiping her face.

"That boy radiates so much fear and worry for you that it can be felt for a city mile." The psychic laughed. "He's also a little bit mad at you." Missouri said furrowing her brow.

"Oh, yeah, we had a disagreement. Quicker if I show you." Dean pulled up the memories of the Incubus hunt and the ensuing fight with Sam. Missouri's eyebrows raised slightly as she read the thoughts Dean was projecting for her.

"Oh, yes, I understand." She said. "Now how about you go up and get in the shower and clean yourself up a bit and I will send Sam up with your bag and have him leave it by the bathroom door."

"That sounds good." Dean stood and gave the older woman a quick hug. "Thank you."

Dean had just made it to the top of the stairs when she heard the Impala pull into the drive way.

•

Missouri opened her front door to let Sam in.

"Here are the groceries." He said, placing the bags in the kitchen table. He looked around and noticed Dean was missing. "Where's Dean?"

"Dean is up in the bathroom, taking a shower. Would you mind taking her bag up and placing it by the door?"

Sam looked at the older woman shocked.

"Did you just call Dean 'her'?" He asked.

"Yes. Dean is inhabiting a female body so...'her'." Missouri said.

"Oh please don't say that around him! He almost tore me a new one yesterday because I accidentally said it." Sam pleaded.

Missouri smiled.

"I think Dean will be fine. Now, I think we should work on you."

"On me?"

"Yes. God lord boy! You're the one with psychic abilities but you're leaking all over the place! Goodness, your brother doesn't have any ability at all but I wouldn't be able to crack his mind with a bulldozer!"

"But I don't have any abilities. I haven't since we killed Azazel."

"Yes you do, but they are just latent and they will stay that way unless you consciously decide to change that." Missouri reassured the youngest Winchester. "Now will you please take Dean belongings up before she decides to wander down here wet and naked."

Sam stood and went to retrieve their duffles from the Impala before heading up stairs and dropping his in one of Missouri's spare rooms and taking Deans and knocking on the bathroom door.

•

Dean closed the bathroom door. She turned the shower on and undressed. Stepping in she placed her palms against the wall, leaning, she bowed her head, allowing the water to run over her body. Taking a few shuddering breaths, Dean let her tears flow free, mixing with the water streaming down her face.

Suddenly she heard a knock on the door.

"Dean? You okay in there?" She heard Sam call through the door.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" She called back. "Just give me a minute."

"Okay, I'm just gonna leave your duffle here by the door."

"Thanks. I'll be right out." Dean called back.

She quickly washed her body and hair before stepping out and wrapping a towel around herself. She opened the door and pulled the bag inside then dressed.

•

Sam walked into the kitchen.

"Hey, you need some help in here?" Sam asked.

"No, I'm fine." Missouri said. "Sam, I need you to reign in your emotions a bit."

"What?"

"I meant what I said earlier about you projecting everywhere." Missouri put down the knife she was using to prepare the salad. She turned to face Sam. "For what I have to do to Dean I'm going to need silence. So after supper I'm going to teach you some techniques for calming your thoughts. They aren't hard, mostly you just need to calm down."

"Okay."

Missouri went back to making the salad.

"He didn't know." She said not looking up from her work.

"What?" Sam asked.

"About the incubus. He didn't know it was the sheriff. He honestly thought it was the deputy."

"Alright." Sam replied.

"The only thing that scares Dean is not death, but dying and leaving you alone. He was scared that night."

Sam has no answer to that.

•

Supper was loud and full of laughter, just the way Missouri had hoped. Sam and Dean caught Missouri up on what they have been up to since they last met. After their meal Dean cleaned up while Missouri helped Sam calm his emotional backwash. The psychic felt it best that Dean be well rested for when she goes looking through her mind so it was agreed that the task would be performed the next day, so after on last round of coffees and conversation, Missouri sent the brothers upstairs for an early night.