a/n Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed that last chapter. It's definitely bittersweet coming to the end of this story - I've had the best time writing it and I hope you've enjoyed reading it. Thank you to Stormkpr for such supportive betaing throughout. For the last time, happy reading!
Epilogue – 13 months later
Clarke has not been camping before. Or, at least, not deliberately so. Obviously, she has camped, in as much as she lived in a tent near the dropship so many years ago. But this is the first time that she has set out to spend the night under canvas of her own free will.
She's looking forward to it, she thinks. It's an expedition for the cadets, really, to do a bit of team bonding and practise their survival skills by setting up shelters for the night next to the lake. But Bellamy suggested that Clarke might as well join them, as Madi was going anyway, and then they could make the most of the opportunity for a very short family holiday.
So it is that Clarke hoists her pack over her shoulders and sets out for breakfast, Bellamy's fingers tangled with her own, Madi skipping cheerfully ahead.
"Slow down, honey." She cautions. "You've got to carry that pack all the way there."
"I'm fine, Mum." Madi reassures her, twirling on the spot and giving a grin. "Don't fuss."
That is something she needs to practise, Clarke suspects. The whole not-fussing thing. Madi has started growing into her role as the Commander, of late, spending her time with Gaia not in lessons on how to control the flame but in observing what Clarke and Marcus and Indra get up to all day. It is only a matter of time, she knows, before her daughter starts to offer up opinions of her own. Knowing Madi, she will probably find a way to train as a medic at the same time. After all, multitasking runs in the family.
The mess hall feels rather more lively than usual, a couple of dozen teenagers sprawling easily over their seats as they bicker about what the day ahead might bring. It is good, Clarke thinks, that the teenagers of today are so relaxed at the breakfast table. It is a far cry from the hundred anxious delinquents she found herself leading so long ago.
"Officer Blake." Yan spots their arrival and jumps to his feet, making a valiant attempt to greet Bellamy with some semblance of formality before ruining it all by grinning at Madi.
"Sit down, Yan." Clarke recommends with a chuckle. "Go on, you kids enjoy your breakfast together. I'll keep Officer Blake out of your way until we leave."
That's easily done, of course. Bellamy would much rather let the youngsters enjoy themselves and eat his porridge in her company. They keep to themselves, too, on the walk out of town. A couple of the older cadets, nearly ready to go out into the world, have been tasked with navigating the unchallenging route to the lake and so it is that the two adults make a point of dawdling a little behind the group, kicking up dry leaves and offering no help beyond the reassurance of their presence.
It doesn't take them long to arrive at their destination, but it does take quite a while for the tents to be set up. Clarke never realised quite how challenging a bunch of bright young people might find it to wrestle with a sheet of polyester. Madi's group are the first to finish preparing their home for the night, of course, and the teenager who will always be her little girl is beaming with pride. Tonight is to be her first experience of life as a real cadet, sharing a tent with Yan and Bea and Ayva instead of with her parents, and excitement rolls off her in waves.
"Look, Mum! We won!"
"I'm not sure tent-pitching is a competitive sport, honey."
"Anything's a competitive sport when Madi's involved." Yan grumbles cheerfully, and receives an affectionate cuff around the ear for his trouble.
"I hear tent-pitching is a key skill for a Commander." Ayva teases quietly, making the most of her growing confidence.
"Whatever." Madi waves a careless hand. "You're all glad you're on my team."
Yes. Clarke rather suspects that they are.
When all the tents are pitched, Bellamy gets the kids started with their activities for the afternoon. As Clarke sits back and watches, she can see that he is in his element, keeping the cadets in line with a mixture of orders and encouragement, somehow everywhere at once as he moves from group to group. Some of them seem to be tying each other up with ropes – apparently deliberately so – while others are sent out to gather food, or to play a heavily-camouflaged game of hide and seek.
Clarke has plenty of time to think, this afternoon, and she makes the most of it. Counts, carefully, for perhaps the hundredth time, the number of days since her last period. Reaches exactly the same conclusion as she has reached every other time she has made this calculation in the last fortnight.
There is something she needs to speak to Bellamy about.
She has been wondering for a few days, now, how to go about having this conversation. Should she save it for the privacy of their bedroom, or for a warm moment over a game of chess? Is it something she ought to make a big deal out of, ask him to come for a walk with her one afternoon, perhaps? Or should she keep it low-key, just in case her hunch is not correct?
None of these things matter, she reminds herself, catching his eye as he grins at her over the heads of a cluster of kids attempting to start fires. All that will ever matter to Bellamy is that she tells him, openly and honestly.
And that she continues to love him, of course, but that one tends to be easily accomplished.
She tells him that night, in the end, when the excited chatter from the surrounding tents finally fades into silence, and the pair of them sit and look out over the lake where it glitters with starlight.
"So I've been thinking – I should take a pregnancy test when we get home."
He freezes, just for a moment, jaw slack in shock. Then he turns and presses a gentle kiss to her lips, a kiss rather distorted by his broad smile. "You think you might be pregnant?"
"Why else does anyone take a pregnancy test?"
He doesn't answer that, just holds her close and kisses the crown of her head. And she can't blame him, really, for taking a while to process this development. They've been vaguely trying for another child since she recovered from Madi's birth, and she knows that they were both beginning to notice that she has not conceived quite so quickly this time round. It is not surprising, then, that he takes a few moments to soak it in.
"How are you feeling?" He asks her, after a short pause.
"Great." She confirms easily. "No sickness, just like last time. And – and fewer mixed feelings than last time. I'm so excited."
"Me too." He assures her, grinning widely.
"I hope – I hope it's not a false alarm."
"We'll find out when we get home." He reassures her, holding her tight. "And if it is – maybe we'll just have to wait a bit longer. Or maybe we'll just have to be happy with Madi. Either option's good with me."
"Or maybe we'll have another beautiful baby."
"Yeah, that option's my favourite." He concedes, kissing her again for no apparent reason. He does that quite a lot, really. It is almost as if he likes to remind himself that she's still there.
"Come with me to take the test?"
"Of course." He kisses her again, still smiling from ear to ear. "Do you ever think about – about names?"
Yes, actually. She does. And she has been thinking a lot about names in the last couple of weeks in particular. When they first got together, she thinks, she would have wanted to name any child she might go on to bear after someone they'd lost. Jake or Aurora, perhaps, or Wells or Finn or Lexa. But that's not the right thing to do, now. Not any more. And she knows it, and she knows that he knows it, too.
"We should ask Madi to choose a name." She suggests, snuggling more deeply into his side.
"You're right." He agrees easily. "Let's ask her."
But they don't ask her then, of course. They do not shake her awake in the middle of the night and demand her answer, not right away. There is no rush, and they will ask her at some other moment in the countless days to come.
They have more than enough time.
a/n Thanks for sticking with this story all the way to the end! If you're feeling withdrawal symptoms, you might like to check out my new story, Twist or Stick, of which I have just posted the prologue. Or you might want to pester me with requests for future stories, here or on Twitter PenguinofProse.