Long chapter incoming!! Lots of drama! Enjoy!
When she opened her eyes again it was morning. She sat up quickly and realized she had slept through going to see Ben. Damnit...she hoped he wouldn't be mad. She had meant to bring stuff to sew his ripped clothing up. She would have to try to sneak away and do it today instead. She had breakfast and found Leia.
"Hey I need you to cover for me so I can go see Ben," she said quietly.
"Of course...couldn't make it out last night huh?" She teased.
"How did you know-"
"Im a mother I know what all my kids are up to," she smiled. Rey gave her a half grin and gripped her staff tightly thinking for a moment.
"Come with me..." she said before she could stop herself.
"I can't, Rey...he doesn't want to see me..." she said sadly.
"He does! He told me he would see you at least once before...before he goes wherever he's going. He promised me. He's got his strength back and seems to be much better mentally. It's the perfect day to see him. Please."
Rey asked grabbing Leia's hand. The older woman looked very unsure and like she might cry.
"I know it will make him feel better...it will give both of you closure...plus his shirt needs stitched and I'm not very good at sewing," she added to relieve the tension. Leia looked down and smiled.
"Okay...okay fine let's go." She finally gave in, "If he's unhappy to see me I'm blaming you though!" She threatened.
"Deal," Rey smiled. Leia made up some excuse for them not to be followed and together the two women walked into the jungle together.
Finn watched them from afar. He knew there was something weird going on but he didn't know what. Poe and Rose may chose to be blonde to it but he wasn't...
The walk with Leia was slow, she wasn't as spry as she used to be. Rey didn't mind as she loved spending time with her and listening to her stories and wise advice. Finally they were close and Rey spotted Ben laying flat on his back with his hands under his head on the ground. He must have heard her footsteps and without looking up spoke.
"I was starting to think you forgot about me."
Rey and Leia stepped into the clearing and Ben turned his head grinning to look at her. As soon as he lay eyes on Leia he scrambled to stand. He didn't say a word but Leia remained focused on him and Rey hung back as she walked towards her son. Leia slowly made her way to him and stood in front of him for a moment. Ben looked slightly uncomfortable and ashamed and glanced from Rey back to his mother.
"Ben..." Leia said and leaned in to hug him around the waist.
"Mom..." He said and hugged her back tightly.
"I'm so sorry," he said tears now welling up in his eyes as he hugged the short woman.
"Shh, lets not talk about the past. I want to see you...it's been so long..." she pulled back and looked him up and down soaking him in.
"You've gotten so tall..." she said and reached up to place a hand on his face.
"But still so handsome like your father...though you could do with a shave...your looking a little rugged." Ben gave a small sad laugh and placed his hand on top of his mother's.
"You're still exactly as I remember you," he said. Another minute of staring between the two and they all went to sit around the fire. Rey on one side of Ben with his mother on the other side.
"Why don't you let me work on your shirt. It looks terrible," Leia said. Rey handed her the sewing kit she had in her pocket and Ben removed his shirt handing it to his mother who began to work on it.
"I'm proud of you," Rey said quietly to Ben as his mother got started.
"You could have warned me," he whispered. She shrugged at him grinning.
He rolled his eyes smiling and looked back to his mother.
They sat quietly as she worked and when she was done he put his shirt back on.
"Thanks," he said admiring his moms handy work.
"I should go..." Leia said after a few minutes.
"You don't have to..." Rey said.
"No no, this is valuable time you two need together and I'm just the mother hanging over you," she smiled.
"I can walk you back," Rey said standing.
"Rey I'm fine, I can take a walk in the woods by myself I promise. Just don't stay out too late I can't cover for you forever."
Rey smiled, "I promise." Leia hugged her son again and kissed his forehead.
"It was so good to see you Ben. You've given this old woman peace," She said looking at him as if he were the most precious thing in the world. Rey could only hope she could be this kind of mother to her child. Her stomach turned uncomfortably as she realized she had to tell Ben soon. She would start visibly showing more and wouldn't be able to make excuses. They both watched until they could no longer see her to make sure Leia made it ok back into the jungle.
"Thank you...for bringing her I mean..." Ben said sheepishly. Rey smiled at him and he wrapped an arm around her.
"There's something really important I need to talk to you about..." Rey started. He looked over her concerned.
"What is it?" He prompted when she froze up and couldn't seem to speak.
"What the hell is this?!" Rey heard a loud familiar voice behind them. They both stood instantly and spun around. Finn stood a few feet away in the jungle.
"Finn," Rey looked from him to Ben and back, Ben's fists were clenched, ready to fight like always. Rey raised her hands in a non threatening manner and took a few steps towards him.
"It's ok, Finn. He's not going to hurt anyone. Please come here and let's talk..."
"Are you out of your damn mind Rey?! Get over here away from that creature!"
"Stop!" Rey said firmly, "if you would just listen for a minute-"
"No! I'm done listening! This man has tried to kill nearly every one of your friends, succeeded in killing his own father! And here you are just cuddled up to him in the middle of the jungle?! Like he's your secret boyfriend or something?!"
"I can prove he's changed!" Rey yelled desperately.
"I don't give a damn if he single handedly saved an entire planet full of burning children Rey! I will never trust him and you shouldn't either!! He's killed thousands...no millions of people and thats okay with you?! You can just forget everything in his past?!
"Yes! I can!" Rey yelled. Finn shook his head unable to fully comprehend what was happening right now.
"I knew it..." he said walking out of the jungle closer to them, "I knew there was something fishy going on, I knew you weren't yourself, and I knew he wouldn't leave you alone!"
"It's not like that!"
"Is it because you feel obligated?!" Finn continued harshly, "Poe wasn't a good enough stand in dad? You had to bring it's worthless father here to fill some kind of empty void in your life?! Do you really think you guys can be a normal family?! Because that's pretty fucked up, Rey! And you put yourself and that child in danger just by being here with him!"
Rey stood breathing hard, tears in her eyes, fists clenched in frustration.
"What's he talking about? What child?" Ben said not taking his eyes off Finn.
"Oh, you didn't tell him?!" Finn said almost laughing.
"Well let me be the first to congratulate you on your rape baby supreme leader! Father of the year right here everybody!" Finn yelled looking around as if talking to a crowd.
"Shut up," Rey said, her face red and anger coursing through her.
"Why? You don't like to hear that out loud?! We're you trying to forget that he kidnapped and forced himself on you?!"
Rey threw her hand up without thinking, red hot anger coursing through her veins. The force caught Finn around his neck and his breath caught in his throat. Rey ground her teeth together focusing all her energy on hurting him. She wanted to crush his neck...
"Rey..." Ben tried to bring her back down.
"Rey, you're suffocating him, it's time to stop," Ben said calmly. She ignored him. He slowly stepped towards her with his hands up and she watched him from the corner of her eye. He placed a hand on her outstretched arm and gently lowered it down, breaking her concentration. Finn fell to the ground gasping and choking. Hot tears fell from Rey's eyes and a sob shook through her body. Ben grabbed her and pulled her into his chest where she clung onto him desperately and cried into his mended shirt.
"Get out of here..." Ben said to Finn as the man tried to get back up to his feet, but stumbled, his eyes slightly bloodshot.
"You two...are perfect...for eachother..." he choked out, "your both fucking...insane."
"Get out of here!" Ben yelled fiercely taking a step towards him.
"What's going on!?"
Rey heard another familiar voice. It was Rose. She must have followed Finn here when she noticed him leave camp. Rey couldn't bring herself to look at her friend and stayed buried in Ben's chest with his arm protectively around her.
"Finn are you okay?!" Rose ran over to her friend who was holding his neck and coughing. She helped him up and stared at the odd scene before her.
"Oh Rey...what have you done..." she said gently.
"She did nothing wrong!" Ben defended her, "he said horrible things to her and she defended herself."
"Id like to speak to Rey alone," Rose said bravely standing.
"No, Rose, I can't..." Rey spoke.
"She doesn't want to," Ben said roughly.
"Listen," she took a few steps closer to the tall intimidating man. She refused to be scared of him but remained cautious.
"I just need a few minutes and I promise if she wants to, I'll let her come back. Please, this is just girl to girl talk. If you care about her and your baby, you'll let her go for a minute." She sounded so calm and reassuring Rey was almost impressed she could hold her cool this well in such a situation. Ben stood still sizing up the situation. Rose calmly walked over to them and took Rey's hand that was clinging to his shirt. Rey sniffed and wiped her face but calmly walked away with the woman, looking back at Ben to make sure he stayed nearby. Rose took them so they were just out of earshot of the guys.
"Rey, I know your scared and confused right now, but what the actual hell are you doing alone in the woods with Kylo Ren?! Finn had every right to freak out at you!" She whispered holding onto Rey's shoulders tightly. Rey swallowed hard and wiped her face again but didn't speak. She just couldn't. Nothing she would say would make any sense to Rose.
"Does Leia know he's here?" Rose asked. Rey nodded.
"Does she trust him?" Rose asked gently.
"I don't know," Rey answered tearfully, "she was just here and saw him and...they made up and...I think she does now..."
"Do you trust him?" Rose looked carefully in her eyes. Rey looked back into them.
"Yes...I do, I really do. He's been here for nearly a week, Rose. He's trying to become good I know he is. He's trying so hard...I just know I can help him. I can't explain it but I know."
Ben paced around the clearing running a hand through his hair then scratching his face. He really did need to shave.
"Guilty conscious?" Finn said hoarsely to him. He was standing leaned against a tree for support waiting for Rose.
"Is what you said true? Is Rey really..."
"Pregnant with your evil spawn? I'm afraid so."
Ben ignored his harsh comment and paced around again. A baby...his baby. Rey was carrying his baby. How did he not notice? Why hadn't she told him? He wondered how far along she was...would all this stress hurt his child? Did his mother know? A million thoughts ran through his head at once.
"I want to apologize Finn," he said calmly, "I never should have come here. I never should have put this much pressure on Rey."
"Your damn right you shouldn't have. And don't waste your breath apologizing to me, I'll never forgive you..." Finn said heatedly.
"I can't stay," Ben said, "I have to leave soon. I'll be found out by the order and they'll destroy this entire planet."
"Great, thanks for endangering all of our lives," Finn spat.
"Listen," Ben said angrily and walked over to him. Finn stood up a little straighter but was no match for his height.
"I told you I'm sorry, I know that you won't forgive me, nobody will, but Rey does. And I really care about her."
Finn stared at him still hating him more than anyone he'd ever met.
"Why am I talking to you, you don't care," Ben said walking away.
"No. I don't. Not about you. But I do care about Rey and you hurt her. Badly." Finn still was angry, "and now an innocent child has to suffer through this life because of it."
"It's not going to suffer," Ben said angrily.
"Oh you're going to raise it are you?" Finn said loudly, "stay with Rey and take care of her the rest of her life? Teach it how to play ball and do crafts like a normal father? Don't make me laugh..."
"Don't you think I wish I could do those things?!" Ben said loudly, "I know I fucked up! I know I can't have a normal life now! I made that choice myself and I have to deal with that!"
"Kylo!" Rose said loudly walking back over to him with Rey. They must be done talking. Rey leaned in and whispered in her ear.
"Really?" Rose said giving her a weird look. Rey nodded.
"Ok...Ben...that's enough," she corrected herself.
"You two are enough to drive someone to drink! You don't have to get along! Finn, I understand your worried and frustrated but you have said some really horrible things lately. Things you need to apologize for. And...Ben." She would never get used to saying his real name, "for some ungodly reason Rey trusts and, lord help me, likes you. You don't have to be friends but for gods sake just stop fighting! I've had enough of that to last me a lifetime!"
Rey walked back over to Ben and stood beside him.
"It's obvious we don't fully understand your relationship, Rey, that much is for damn sure. But you're our friend and we need to have some faith in your judgement," she looked at Finn, "right Finn?"
He looked as perplexed as ever, like he was staring at some puzzle he couldn't figure out.
"I think a lapse in judgment doesn't even begin to describe what's happening here..." he replied astounded. Rose snapped back, "No, I said no more fighting, you're instigating! We are going to trust Rey, and we are going to not kill Ky...Ben. Not yet anyway...Okay?"
A sudden idea hit Rey like a brick wall. It was so perfect...the plan she had been needing to ensure Ben's freedom. She didn't how she would pull it off but it could be done!
"Now," Rose continued, "Finn and I are going to leave, showing that we trust you Rey...but if you need us I swear we will come right back!"
She looked sternly to Ben now.
"If you so much as lay a hand on her, I can assure you the resistance will be told where your hiding faster than you can say sithlord..."
"I'm not going to hurt her. She's carrying my child for Christ's sake..." Ben rolled his eyes.
"Because suddenly he places value on human life," Finn interjected viciously.
"Finn, I told you to stop," Rose led him by his arm back into the dense jungle, they could be heard arguing for a few minutes before it was silent once again.
Rey exhaled and relaxed her stance, she hadn't even realized she'd been so tense this whole time.
"Your friend...what's her name?" Ben asked walking back over to the log to sit.
"Rose," Rey replied mindlessly.
"I think...she kind of scares me," he said. Him and Rey made eye contact for a brief moment and busted into laughter. Rey came to sit beside him again.
"So it's true...I'm going to be...a...you know..." he nudged uncomfortably.
"Yes, it's true. I've been meaning to tell you but no time ever seemed right. And of course I wanted to make sure you really had changed first..."
"Understandable..." he said.
"Can I...touch it?" He asked looking at her with unsure eyes.
"What?" Rey asked confused.
"Your belly...can I touch it."
He'd never asked for her consent before so why did he start now she thought to herself. But this was a once in a lifetime moment for him and she didn't want to take it away from him. Rey slid down off the log so her back was against it and lifted her shirt up. Ben joined her on the dirt and slowly placed a large hand over the small bump that he now noticed. How did he not see it before?
When he hand made contact with her skin he inhaled sharply, goosebumps appearing all over him, the force humming wildly throughout his body. He made eye contact with Rey and she gave him an understanding look. She felt it too.
"It's strong...maybe stronger than both of us..." he said keeping his hand in place. Rey placed her hand on top of his. For a moment, Ben felt the peace he had been searching for his whole life. His child...his legacy and heir...it was so strong with the force he could sense it even though it wasn't even fully developed yet. He blinked hard a few times, the goosebumps beginning to fade away.
He could feel through their bond the love radiating from Rey for this tiny new being. She didn't resent it, she didn't hate it...she loved it and wanted it, even if it did come from Kylo's vile act. It didn't matter to her.
She loved it unconditionally... Ben and Rey stared at eachother a moment and Ben smiled at her. She gave a small smile back.
"Thank you," he said withdrawing his hand. Even if he never got to see his baby after it was born he had this moment. No one could take that away from him...