Chapter 35: Nine Lives

When Lydia was still small, old enough to talk some but too young to really put into words the things that upset her, Carol would gather her up in her arms like she once did with Sophia, lay down with her on the bed and just stay with her until the tears passed. She'd put her hand on her little girl's back and wait for her breathing to slow. They usually would lie there long enough that by the time Lydia was finished crying, she wouldn't even remember what she was crying about in the first place.

To Carol's surprise, when she peeked into Lydia's bedroom, she saw Henry with his face buried in Lydia's pillow. Lydia was sitting next to him with her hand on his back. Carol's hand flew to her chest, and she blinked back tears.

"It's ok, Henry," Lydia comforted him. "You can share my mommy." Henry let out another cry but said nothing. Carol cleared her throat and stepped into the room. Lydia looked up at her with wide eyes.

"Honey, would you give us a minute, please? Daddy and Luke are downstairs."

"Okay, Mommy." Lydia got up off the bed, and she left the room. Carol moved over and knelt down by the edge of the bed.

"The funeral's about to start," Carol whispered. Henry sniffled and wiped at his eyes before turning to face the other wall. "It's ok to be sad. But your mommy loved you a lot. You know that, don't you? I'll bet that's why you're crying right now. You miss her. She was a good mommy." He nodded but kept his back to her. "It's a scary thing that happened. But it's over now. Your mommy's not scared anymore. She's not hurt anymore. The monster that hurt her is dead, too. It's safe now." Henry turned then, looking up at Carol with big, tear-filled eyes.

"It wasn't safe before."

"It was safe. It was a bad accident. And we're all going to work very hard to make sure accidents like that don't happen again." She put her hand on Henry's back. "You saw something very bad. I know. And you're probably going to think about it for a long time. I want you to remember something. Those monsters might be real, but that's why we're here. Daryl, your daddy, Merle, Me? We're here to protect you and the other children and keep you safe. When bad things happen, we stand in front of you and make sure you stay safe." Henry sniffled and wiped his nose.

"That's what my mommy did. She made me get behind her, and then she told me to run to your house. But I couldn't. I got scared. I hid. And when I came out, mommy wasn't moving. So I ran."

"That's ok," Carol whispered. "It's ok that you hid and that you ran. That was smart. That's why you're still here."

"I'm scared. What if my daddy gets hurt?"

"Hey," Carol said softly, gently stroking the back of the boy's head. "It's ok to be scared. It's ok. We're all going to work extra hard to make sure nobody gets hurt, ok?" Henry nodded then and sniffled.

"Okay."

"Alright. We have to go say goodbye to your mama. It's ok to cry. Okay?" He nodded then, and Carol took his hand and gave him a pull. "Put your shoes on, buddy." He stepped into his shoes, and Carol gave his hand a squeeze. "We're all here. Your dad, Daryl, me. Don't be scared, ok?" Henry nodded then, and he sniffled. They walked hand in hand down the stairs, and when they stepped out onto the porch, Lydia came over to take his hand.

"I'll stay with him, Mommy," she promised. "I won't let go of his hand."

"Good." Carol smiled proudly at her little girl and turned to Daryl, who held a sleeping Luke in his arms. Thunder rumbled overhead, but the rain still hadn't come. As much as they needed it, Carol hoped it would hold off until the funeral was over. Burying not just one but two of their people was going to be difficult enough without having to do it in the rain.

"Soon as it's over, me and Merle are gonna slip out, real quiet, and try to draw the walkers away, just like we planned," he said quietly, as they walked toward the small graveyard they'd made out by the west field.

"It can wait a few days, can't it?" Carol asked, knowing the answer before the question was out of her mouth. "Of course it can't. Stupid question." Daryl curled his arm around her waist as they walked. "Don't take any unnecessary risks. I know you feel like this is on you to get done, but it's not. And if something happens, I want you to come home."

"I will. I promise."

"I don't want to sleep alone tonight."

"I'll be home. Nothin' is gonna keep me from gettin' back to you."

...

The rain never came. The funeral was over in a matter of minutes, and when it was done, Negan stayed behind with Henry as the graves were filled in with dirt. Carol and Daryl were the last to leave, but before they did, they approached Negan.

"Henry's welcome to stay at our place for a few days, if ya need a little time," Daryl offered. "Hell, you're welcome, too, if ya don't wanna be in that house."

"It's fine." Negan's voice was void of emotion. His eyes were red from crying, his voice was raw, and he looked like he could collapse at any minute. "Henry, you can go with Carol and Daryl if you want to."

"No," Henry whimpered. "Daddy, I wanna stay with you." He clung tightly onto Negan's hand. Negan swallowed hard but nodded.

"Alright, buddy." He hoisted his son up into his arms, and Henry pulled his arms tight around his dad's neck.

"If you need anything," Daryl murmured quietly, "let us know. We'll help however we can."

"Appreciate that, Daryl," Negan offered with a nod. "Just gonna take my son home now. Start cleanin' the place up."

"Lydia and Tara are already there. They wanted to get most of it taken care of before you got home. You shouldn't have to do that."

"Nobody should," Daryl agreed. He clapped Negan on the shoulder, and he and Carol turned to head back toward the house. He bent down to scoop up Luke in his arms, and Lydia looked up at Carol as they walked.

"Mommy?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Is that how my first mommy and daddy died? Did they die like Henry's mommy?" Carol looked at Daryl, and she shook her head.

"I'm not sure about your mommy or what really happened to her." Carol thought for a moment. "Do you remember the book I showed you? The one with the letter your first daddy wrote you?"

"Uh-huh."

"See, your daddy died before we found you. But Dog was there, and he barked until we found you. We wrapped you up so you were nice and warm, and we took you home and kept you warm and gave you something to eat."

"Did you love me right away?" Lydia asked. Carol smiled.

"You came along at the perfect time," Carol murmured, taking her little girl's hand as they walked.

"She's right about that," Daryl chimed in. "You were so little, couldn't take care of yourself. But Dog made sure we found you so you'd have a family."

"It's sad my first daddy died," Lydia said softly. "Maybe my first mommy's still out there somewhere. Do you think she might be?" Carol and Daryl shared a glance before Carol stopped and knelt down in front of Lydia.

"Anything's possible, Lydia, but there's a lot of bad things out there."

"The monsters."

"Right."

"Well," Lydia thought, "if she's still alive, I hope she found a family like you and daddy found me." Carol smiled a little and pulled Lydia into a hug.

"Me too," she whispered. She pulled out of the hug and stood back up, brushing the grass off of her knees. "How about this? You and me and Luke can go home and bake some cookies and read your favorite books today. Would you like that?"

"Can Henry come too?"

"Honey, I think Henry and his daddy need a little time together right now. Okay?" Lydia nodded.

"Okay. But, Daddy has to help make cookies," Lydia insisted.

"Uh, Lyddie, I gotta go out there for a little bit," he murmured, nodding toward the walls. Lydia's eyes widened.

"No, Daddy. Don't go. The monsters!"

"Baby girl, me and Uncle Merle gotta go lure 'em away from here. We're safe, but the longer they're out there, the more of 'em they're gonna attract. You understand?" Lydia nodded her head. "I'll be home by supper, alright? So you save me a cookie. Don't let your little brother eat 'em all."

"I won't," she said glumly. Daryl put Luke down, and Lydia took his hand.

"You take your brother on in the house, alright? I'm gonna say goodbye to your mom." Lydia nodded then, and she led her brother up the steps and into the house, while Daryl turned to face Carol. "You ain't sleepin' alone tonight."

"I love you," she whispered, leaning in to press her lips against his. "Be safe."

"Nine lives," he promised. "Remember?"