A/N: Wowwww. A lot of you are probably thinking Huh? What's this alert? A new chapter of Wielding Chains has been added? What story is that again???
And you know what, you have every damn right to be totally disinterested. I've abandoned this story for 3 YEARS. But, with some ongoing mental health issues that I'm trying my best to address, I've decided to take up writing again. And what better story to do that on than this one right here. (I would, however, possibly re-read the entire story again. Or at least from, say, chapter 25 onwards? Just so you remember what mess I've actually started to create. Haha.
Also - this was written entirely on my phone. The story looks really condensed unfortunately but I'm unsure how to edit it or space it out on this app. So, apologies for that.
I hope you're all still here. I hope you're as excited as I am. I'd really appreciate your support still, even after all these years. Because after all -Kiba and Hotaru's story isn't finished yet. Not by a long shot.
_
Kiba blinked.
He wasn't sure if he had heard her correctly. His hands slowly moved her small frame from the mould of his own, his brows furrowing as he took in her face. Her face, that looked just as confused and curious as his own. "What did you say?"
Oh, god. Hotaru's heart banged away at the inside of her chest. Let me out, it screamed, thumping away at the door of her sternum, clawing, pacing, looking everywhere for its infallible escape. She inhaled deeply, preparing herself to ask once more despite the image of his rejection plastered across her mind like a billboard.
"I'm going home. For my birthday. I want to take you with me."
"Your birthday? When is your birthday?" He asked, his curiosity peaking. "Tar, I haven't heard you mention your birthday at all-"
"Like there has ever been an appropriate time to bring it up," she mumbled bluntly, her eyes averting to the ceiling. Images of Sakamaii, of the Chunin exams, of the town in ruins, of Tora, of her training with Ezra, of Reito hovering alongside her hospital bed, of a bloodied Kiba being rushed through the hospital corridors in is own hospital bed, of Sasuke's abandonment, of Mai and her repeated NinJutsu's throwing her around like a rag doll, of her sadness, of everyone's sadness, her anger - Hotaru wondered how she had any time at all to even breathe during these last few months, yet alone bring up her birthday.
A certain sadness washed over his face. "I know these last few months have been a total shit fight, Tar. But you have to remember to prioritise yourself."
"Ha! Prioritise myself?" Hotaru scoffed, her hands clenching her hair in frustration. "All I have done these past few months, is prioritise myself. All the events that have happened these past few months, have ALL revolved around me. The amount of times I've sat in my bedroom, your bedroom, in your arms, Genma's arms - and cried, about no one but my god, damn, self - makes me sick. Prioritising myself is the last thing I want to do right now."
Kiba watched as a thousand thoughts filtered through the movie reel behind her eyes. She refused to meet his gaze, presumably because if she did she would come undone, like a ball of thread unraveling and tumbling along the floor. He knew she was so, so sick of unravelling in front of him. He never minded it, though. Not once. But he knew that she did. He knew that she hadn't liked the frail person she had become. Not one, single bit.
"It doesn't make you weak, you know." Kiba exhaled as his hands lifted to rest behind his head. "Looking out for yourself. Thinking about yourself. Self care isn't selfish."
Hotaru's mind raced back to the last day she had conversed with Reito, when the two were entwined in the mess of bedsheets that covered her bed. She remembered their conversation, their argument, and most of all she remembered the way he pointed at her, sneering with disgust and calling her selfish.
It stuck with her, that moment. She didn't agree with Reito much. His outlook on Shinobi, for one, and his god awful medical practices when it come to refusing treatment of dying nin. But she did agree on one thing; her selfishness.
"I'll work on self care in time. That's not my focus right now."
"Well it should be. You mentioned yourself how exhausted you are, with your fatigue at training and your random nose bleeds."
A shooting pain tore through the red heads chest. A brick, constructed of guilt and fear and uneasiness weighed heavy as she remembered her conversation with Tsunade.
Her brain tumour.
Fuck. She still had to tell Kiba, yet she hadn't even come to terms with it herself.
"You know I haven't even seen Sakura since the night after your mission? Since she operated on you?" She swallowed the lump in her throat. The secret was stuck there, though, waiting to burst up through her mouth and spill all over Kiba and the warm skin pulled tightly across his chest. She tried to divert the conversation as much as she could. "I haven't even been able to thank her. For saving you. That's how selfish I've been."
"You've been looking after me," Kiba responded with furrowed brows. "How is that selfish?"
"Because you're what makes me feel better."
A silence engulfed the room once more.
"Fine. I can't trick you in to doing what I say. You're much to stubborn for that," he said, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. "But as long as I'm around, I will remind you that you exist from time to time. Whether you like it or not."
"Bold of you to assume I'd let you," she replied, and he could have sworn a smirk darted across her lips.
"Bold of you to assume that you could stop me."
"Bold of you to assume that I couldn't?"
Kiba smiled, genuinely, feeling as if this was the first time in a long time that he had seen this side of Hotaru. The playful side. The free side. She had encased herself within a shell of disappointment and sadness for quite some time, but it was as if now, in the darkness and stuffiness of Kiba's room, she was breaking out of that shell.
And Hotaru noticed it as well. The way their banter had suddenly wormed it's way back in to their conversation naturally, without it sounding forced or uncomfortable. It was the first time she had felt like herself in weeks.
"So, dog boy," she began again, rolling on to her side to face him. She pushed all other thoughts out of the crack in his bedroom window, watching as they floated away in the wind outside. "What's the verdict? Were you going to come back with me to the Canyons?"
A smirk slithered it's way across his face once more. "Bold of you to assume I wouldn't."
.
.
.
A wind as familiar as the one that brushed her face the very first day Hotaru entered the gates to the village hidden in the Leaf, was back.
It danced among the trees, swaying and stretching as it caused branches to peacefully collide with each other. It was cool against her skin; calm, sweeping her red hair off of her face and causing it to dance like flames behind her.
Her petite hands cupped the forms that lady Tsunade had given her an hour prior. The paper crumpled beaneath them as the wind attempted to carry them away, but Hotaru's focus and grip on them proved to be all too strong.
The forms contained a lot of information. And when she said a lot, she meant a lot. Six double sided papers with information regarding the trail, the secret enterance she had to use once she had arrived at the Canyons, protocols she had to follow if the village were to come under attack whilst she was there, the time, date and trail she was to take on her way home, perimeters she was not allowed to exceed - the list was endless.
She was excited. The mentions of the invasion and words regarding secret pathways in to the village was not enough to make her nervous, yet alone deter her from cancelling her trip. Thoughts of explosions, of enemy nin hiding in the darkness, of destructed forage and collapsed buildings; none of it mattered. None of it felt real. Not as real as what seeing her family and friends was going to be like.
"Nice of you to finally show up," Hotaru smirked, hearing the crushing of gravel beneath Kiba's feet. She glanced up to see him walking towards her, his hands in his pockets, his ever present crooked grin clutching away at the corner of his mouth. "Was just about to leave without you."
"You would never," he scoffed through his grin. "I know you. You'd get half way and turn back because you missed me."
"Miss what, exactly? Your snoring? Your bad jokes?"
"Not that. This," Kiba smirked devilishly, pulling her against him in to a kiss. His grip had caught her by surprise. She could feel him grinning beneath her, their tongues colliding in a swift battle for victory. Hotaru pulled away, hoping that the guards patrolling the gates had not seen their brief moment of romance, yet not at all turned off by his blatant bout of public affection.
Using her thumb, the red head wiped at her bottom lip. A smile tugged at one side of her mouth. "Hmm. Standard."
Shocked, Kiba's brows furrowed immediately. "What do you mean, standard!"
"The kiss. Not the best I've received, not the worst. Standard."
"I'll show you standard," Kiba said as he took another step towards the taunting Kunoichi.
As if Kiba had never received criticism before - and let's face it, he probably hadn't when it come to women - he took a step in Hotaru's direction, hoping to better his last attempt of affection. Hotaru braced herself, giggling contently at the fact she had somehow crawled beneath the dog nins skin, and prepared herself for another kiss.
"Maybe save that kind of behaviour for the trip, you two."
Kiba halted, his nose twitching as he caught glance of the familiar voice behind them. Hotaru followed Kiba's bothered stare, turning around to see Genma standing behind them with his arms folded against his vest. The disapproval within Genma's stare was short lived as he caught glimpse of a polite smile on the face of his tiny friend.
"Hey," Hotaru started, making her way over to where Genma was standing. Kiba didn't follow.
"Hey, kiddo. You all ready for your big trip?"
"You have no idea," she replied with a chuckle, her eyes alive with excitement. "I can't believe they're letting me do this."
"As excited as you are, you know you need to have your witts about you." Genma's expression grew solemn. "The village is still under threat. It's dangerous there."
Hotaru understood Genma's sincerity, and knew that what he was trying to say was coming from a good place. She felt that what he didn't understand, however, was that the Canyons were Hotaru's home. She had spent many, many years there, raiding the canyons, exploring the outskirts, learning from the land... it was everything she knew. Everyone she knew. If she were to choose any place in the world she felt safe at, invasion or no invasion; it was the Canyons.
"I'll be fine, Genma," she started, offering a sincere smile. "I know this place like the back of my hand. Plus, I won't be alone. I'll have Kiba with me the entire time."
Genma's expression stiffened, suddenly remembering that the Inuzuka was only meters away, watching them. Listening. He remembered more than just his presence, though, with images of Hotaru sitting on her bedroom floor crying becoming all too familiar. Images of him at the ramen stand with Tora, images of Hotaru seeing them, her heart breaking in to two. Images of her not eating for days, images of how distraught she was when she couldn't bring herself to see him after the failed mission to retrieve Sasuke. Genma still hadn't warmed up to the idea of Hotaru seeing Kiba. Not with everything he had put her through thus far.
Genma had a lot to say about it. A lot he could have told her, warned her. But he knew that despite the Inuzuka being further enough away to be out of reach by ear, his dog like senses would still be able to hear their entire conversation. The Jonin had to tread carefully. There was no point in getting the dog nin worked up before a mission as risky as this one. He needed the newly appointed Chunin to be level headed for not only his sake, but for Hotaru's.
He nodded slowly in acceptance. "So you do. I have all faith that he will look after you."
"Not that I need looking after," Hotaru responded with a wink. "I mean, I've only fallen off a building, screwed up every mission I've ever been on in the Leaf, came centimetres away from getting my head punched in at Kiba's party and have been hospitalised ONLY twice. You couldn't meet anyone more capable and independent than me."
Genma's head fell back, a chesty laugh escaping his once taught lips. A hand came to rest on Hotaru's messy hair, scruffing it up to make it appear even more messy than the wind had already made it. "Of course," he laughed, "I don't know why I ever had my doubts."
"We should probably get going." Kiba interrupted from his position behind them. Genma's hands were getting a little too touchy for his liking. "We have to make a start if we want to get there before tomorrow afternoon."
The both of them turned, nodded towards the Inuzuka, and focussed their attention back on each other. "He's good to me, Genma," she said, the wind casting her hair across her gentle face once more.
Genma pulled her in to one last brotherly embrace. "I hope so."
"Say Tar," Kiba smirked on his way over to join the two. "How 'bout a race to the outskirts of Konoha? I'll even give you a head start, since your bag looks almost as heavy as you."
Hotaru glanced at the massive mess that contained most of her clothes and camping attire all squished in to the singular bag hoisted upon her back. "You're not wrong there. I feel like a human turtle."
"Go on then. You have 60 seconds." Kiba's hand reached underneath her bag to give her a slight slap on her backside. "Get to it."
Nodding and grinning at Genma one last time, Hotaru took off into the thick forage before her. It wasn't long before her tiny frame became even smaller as she disappeared in to the distance, slowly becoming one with the red and auburn autumn leaves that lined the horizon of the forest.
"I'll look after her, you know," Kiba started once he could no longer see the red head within his sights. "I know you don't believe me, but I would never let anything happen to her."
"I'll believe you when you get her back to Konoha in one piece, Inuzuka. Heart and all."
The two had still not bothered to look at each other, their chocolate eyes focused centrally in the distance. The wind blew bundles of leaves across both of their feet, the dirt settling across the toes of their black boots. Silence engulfed the gates.
"I never thanked you, by the way. For finding us the night of Sasuke's disappearance."
This shocked Genma, the Jonin's body pricking to the viracity in Kiba's voice. His eyes had dwelled to his face now, ensuring that the Inuzuka's expression was as sincere as his words. "Don't mention it."
And with that, Kiba took off as well, with twice as much speed behind him than what Hotaru had initially had.
.
.
.
"Okay, okay. Here's one. Fuck, marry or avoid; Sakura, Ino, Hinata. Go."
"Oh come on, Tar! That isn't even remotely what I'd do with any of them!"
"Hey, like the options you gave me were any better! Imagine having to say that you'd have sex with your English teacher! Now answer the question."
"Yeah but that much was obvious. Kakashi is definitely a hidden sex god. No one reads that many erotic novels and doesn't end up being an animal in the sack."
Hotaru watched the way shadows of the flames flickered against Kiba's skin, his toothy grin beaming at her from across the fire. He held a bowl in his hands, shovelling remains of boiled rice and fish that he caught earlier that afternoon from the nearby river in to his mouth.
"Enough about Kakashi's sex-godliness. You need to pick your choices."
"Fine," Kiba sighed, his eyes rolling in the dim light of the campfire. "Marry Hinata. Fuck Ino. Avoid Sakura."
Hotaru's brows furrowed with surprise, shaking her head with disapproval. "Wow, Sakura literally saves your life and you repay her by avoiding her. That's real nice of you."
"Oh come on, you know I don't mean it like that!" Kiba whined, squirming uncomfortably in his chair. His expression oozed of guilt. "I didn't mean I'd avoid her forever, obviously I'm super grateful and thankful that-"
"Relax Kiba," Hotaru grinned. "I'm just stirring. In other news though, I may have to have a stern word with Hinata at your next training session..."
"The likelihood of me marrying Hinata is about the same as you performing extended versions of the Kama sutra with Kakashi."
Hotaru mimicked puking before collapsing in to a fit of laughter, Kiba following suit. The night was warm and the breeze was gentle; it was about as close to perfect as it could be for an Autumn night. It wasn't just the weather, either, that provided the two with a glimpse of perfection. It was them, also. Their stupid conversation, their ability to appear more than just present in each others company. To feel as if they were wrapped tightly in each other's arms despite not actually touching, and sitting across from one another instead. It led Hotaru to believe that maybe sometimes touch didn't always have to be physical. Maybe, touch was just something used to describe an impact one leaves on another, an emotional grasp that two people can feel despite being some way away. She believed that even if Kiba was not on this trip with her, and it was someone else sitting across the pit of burning flames instead, she still would have been able to feel his large hand against the small of her back. She would still be able to feel his breath and the way it would cause all the hairs on her neck to rise, and the goosebumps on her skin to fall along the length of her body. Being touched was still being able to smell the person on your skin or in your bed, despite the length of time between seeing each other. It's memories and the way those memories shaped the life you live with that person today.
She looked at him a while, at the way he rested on his side, elevated by his elbow. His brown eyes watched the flames entangle with the wind, flickering, his hands throwing any small leaves and twigs that rested beside him in to the fire. His eyes caught glance of hers after the short silence and held her gaze. "You good, Tar?"
"More than good." She responded with a soft smile. "I'm glad you're here, you know."
"I am too. It's good to get out of the Leaf for a while, with everything that's happened there." He threw another stick, no bigger than the length of his hand in to the burning flames before him.
"I mean, I wish I was taking you home during a time where things were a little, you know... a little less intense,"
"We're Ninja, Hotaru. Our lives will always be intense."
"I get that," she responded as her chin rested tiredly in the palm of her hand. "But this, this little break right now. This quietness. This is good."
Kiba's eyes demanded she look at him from across the fire. "Anywhere with you is good."
A smirk tugged at the corner of the red heads mouth. "So you're saying... being in the same room as Kakashi and I performing the Kamasutra... would be good?"
"Kakashi would have no head left if I ever witnessed anything remotely like that."
"That's a rather large statement from someone who couldn't even beat Naruto in the preliminaries of the Chunin exams."
Hotaru's eyes looked across the fire, waiting to interlock with Kiba's. She awaited the flood of arrogance and excuses she assumed would poor from his mouth, but something seemed off. He was quiet. Too quiet for an Inuzuka. Too quiet for Kiba, even, and when she finally met his distracted gaze, she knew there was definitely something wrong.
"You know I'm only kidding ri-"
"Shhh." He silenced, his deep voice cutting her off abruptly. Kiba was standing now, his eyes focussed intently in the distance. His nose twitched at the same time his brows crawled in to a frown, and Hotaru could see the way his muscles tensed anxiously beneath his mesh undershirt, making her uneasy. "Hotaru," he started again. "How far away from the Canyons are we."
"It's another four miles east," She replied as she stood up nervously. She attempted to follow the direction in which his eyes were locked, but she could see nothing but darkness and forest. The dim glow of the fires radius could only stretch so far, and unfortunately, her vision would carry no further sight beyond that. "Not far, but do you want to tell me what's going on? You're scaring me."
"Keep your voice down." The dog nin mumbled sternly, darkness continuing to stretch out before him. "We've got company."