Epilogue

They agreed that Sarah should finish her holiday and then go back to London and discuss the idea with Vladimir.

"If you change your plans, it may make Holmes' enemies suspicious," Mr Norton explained, "We will need to sneak him onto the same ship under a false identity and in disguise. Once we are well out of English waters, it won't matter so much."

Vladimir was intrigued by the idea that Sarah, Irene and Mr Norton presented to him. The projected earnings from the tour particularly interested him. He had not locked in dates for the tour on the Continent at that point, so it was easy for him to change his plans.

Most of the dancers were keen to go on the promise of higher wages. Those that weren't were close to retirement anyway and Vladimir simply held auditions to replace them. Young dancers were keen to tour America and Vladimir could take his pick from the season's new crop.

In the meantime, rehearsals were being held for the first season in America and passage was being negotiated with a shipping firm for the dancers, their scenery and props, wardrobe, entourage and room on board for daily rehearsals.

Sarah did not see much of Holmes during this time as he was sure Sarah was being closely watched by his enemies. He did not want to lead his enemies to her. She put on a convincing act of being in mourning, wearing black whenever she was not performing and reverting to using her maiden name.

Within three months, they sailed for America. Holmes booked a first class cabin under an assumed name and wore one of his old man disguises. Sarah did not see him board and had no idea what name or disguise he was using. This was deliberate, so she could not betray his presence by an unconscious word or glance. She would not see him at all for the first week aboard.

During this first week, Holmes mingled with the other passengers not connected with the ballet company. He used this time to discern exactly who was on board, making a careful study of passengers and crew alike, including penetrating the holds and engine room. Only once he was satisfied his enemies or their spies were not aboard would be reveal himself. There would be no chance of putting Sarah in the way of his enemies again.

Sarah knew she would not see Holmes for at least a week, but she was never quite sure when she would see him after that.

It was during this week that Sarah and Irene Norton had a very interesting conversation.

"You know Sarah, there are a great many things I have never understood regarding you and Sherlock," Irene said as they sat on Irene's private balcony on a rare night off from rehearsal. They had dispensed with formalities some time ago in private.

"Yes, there are a great many things I don't understand regarding myself and Sherlock either," Sarah replied with a dry smile, her tone a touch sardonic.

Irene laughed heartily then sobered as she regarded her equally celebrated friend.

"Like myself, you had so many opportunities to marry extremely well. I know women who would have given anything to have a proposal from the Count of Winchester," Irene continued.

"I can understand that. Let's face it, he's extremely good looking," Sarah replied frankly.

"More to the point, he is rich, titled and powerful," Irene said pointedly, "all the things that Sherlock was not when you first got engaged to him."

"Well, you already know that story. It wasn't a real engagement," Sarah said with a shrug.

"Hmmmm," Irene said dubiously, "I'm sure Sherlock was glad to take you off the market, at any rate. When I first met Sherlock, it wasn't under very auspicious circumstances, as you know. I thought he was an extraordinarily clever man, very original and somewhat driven. There was something intriguing about him and his methods. However, I also thought he was arrogant, rather eccentric, not particularly handsome and definitely not a good catch. Also, he appeared to have ice in his veins rather than blood. I could never be attracted to a man with a cold nature. I need fire and passion to match my own," Irene said with a shrug.

Sarah reflected that Irene's need for fire and passion had led her on the same disastrous adventure that had eventually introduced Sherlock into her life under those inauspicious circumstances. It was true that in day to day life, Sherlock did have a cold persona, but he also had a deeply sensual nature which he kept well-hidden from the world. He would not have had such an addictive personality without that vein of sensuality in his nature, Sarah mused.

"Yes, there were times he was cold to the point of rudeness when we first met," Sarah confessed, "but I always found myself watching him and wondering why he was the way he was. You know his failings, Irene. He is an addict, he has a tendency to starve himself under stress, he avoids relationships, he works himself into exhaustion – there is a pattern of self-destruction there. Why is a person with such a brilliant, original mind so self-destructive?" Sarah said, her vision turned inward as she spoke, recalling her impressions over the years.

Irene examined Sarah as she mulled over these revelations.

"Did you ever find the answers to these questions?" Irene asked curiously.

"Not really," Sarah replied. "I suspect he had a troubled family life and his relationship with his parents was somehow damaging, but that is pure speculation. He never talks about his family. Perhaps that in itself is proof enough," Sarah said with a shrug.

"That is very perceptive of you," Irene replied, her turquoise eyes narrowed as she considered Sarah's conclusions. "You must have cared about Sherlock almost from the beginning to have observed so much."

"I was fascinated by him the first time we met and unlike you, I thought he was really quite attractive in an unconventional way. Of course, his reputation preceded him. I had heard of his work and his eccentricities. After we met, he was determined to prove I was a fraud of some kind. He was terribly suspicious of me, so I ended up meeting with him and Watson a fair bit while he undertook his investigations. While he was observing me, I was busy observing him," Sarah said with a mischievous smile.

Irene laughed again.

"It is Sherlock who is the fraud! He used the excuse of uncovering your deception to stay in touch with you," she said with glee.

Sarah looked dubious.

"I think he had real doubts about my origins," Sarah said, "and it took a long time for him to let go of them. In the meantime, he had set up this elaborate ring of protection with the irregulars and the Society. That was even before the pretend engagement. I think he had real fears that I would be abducted or assaulted or something," Sarah said with a sigh. There were times she really had no idea at all what Sherlock was thinking.

"You know, my dear, I wish I had someone like Sherlock in my life to protect me when I was a young rising star. There were plenty of times I got into difficult situations because of presumptuous and aggressive men. I could have been compromised many times if it wasn't for my own quick-wittedness," Irene said gently.

"It was very difficult to interpret his actions. He could be very cold and suspicious one day and quite good company the next time I saw him. Then on the next occasion he would interrogate me like a criminal suspect and then I would not lay eyes on him for months on end. Then he would dance with me all night in Vienna! Then, after not seeing him for weeks, he would lecture me like a child. Or he would show up on my doorstep after a major row and ask for help with one of his cases," Sarah said indignantly, shaking her head.

"And you would help him," Irene said with amusement.

"Yes," Sarah said with another sigh, "I should have slammed the door in his face," she added irritably.

Irene laughed and clapped her hands.

"Well, it was never dull, was it? Perhaps that's why you love him. He is not predictable, is he?" Irene said with a twinkle in her eye.

"Only in his unpredictability," Sarah said, rolling her eyes.

Irene could see that for Sherlock, the tension of wanting Sarah had been almost unendurable. He had tried to stay away, but couldn't. He had tried treating her like one of his cases, but failed. He had tried to build a relationship by being pleasant or drawing her into his life, but had found her proximity deeply disturbing to his fragile equilibrium.

She recalled a conversation she had once had with Watson soon after Sarah and Sherlock had wed.

"Has there always been this much tension between the two of them?" she had said to Watson in some astonishment.

The sexual tension between the two was thick enough to cut with a knife, Irene thought. It was obvious to Irene that Sherlock was aware of every move Sarah made, even when he was not looking at her, which was most of the time. It was also obvious that Sarah was a barometer of Sherlock's moods.

"Yes, they've always had rather an intense relationship," Watson agreed mildly, remembering the gentle warmth of his relationship with Mary – a totally different animal entirely.

"I don't know how they managed to stay apart so long," Irene said frankly.

"Well, Holmes was deeply suspicious of Sarah at first. Her origins are a bit obscure. He did not want to look foolish if it turned out that Sarah was a fraud, particularly as he was so strongly attracted to her, as we now know," Watson said diffidently, taking out a cigar and lighting it. He felt a bit nervous discussing his friend particularly with such a beautiful and celebrated woman.

"Yes, yes – but that was cleared up eventually. What then?" Irene asked impatiently.

"Holmes had always been aware that his work would endanger any woman in his life. You know that Sarah was shot trying to protect him. It was exactly the sort of thing he was afraid of," Watson explained reasonably.

Irene made an impatient noise.

"If anything was going to prove that Sarah loved Sherlock, it was that! He should have proposed then and there. Why didn't he?" Irene demanded.

Watson sighed. He had said something along the same lines to Holmes at the time, but his friend had simply looked at him like he had started speaking Chinese.

"There was the final barrier, I suppose. There were so many eligible men chasing Miss Mounteney - I mean, Mrs Holmes - that Holmes felt he couldn't compete. He is not wealthy. He has no title or powerful position. How does a private detective ask for a woman's hand when peers of the realm are also asking for it?" Watson argued rationally.

"He must have known Sarah loved him. She put up with quantities of odd behaviour from him for years and in the end, nearly gave her life to save his," Irene said and with an imperious wave of one beautiful hand, swept away Watson's arguments.

Watson was silent for a few minutes.

"To be honest, Mrs Norton, I think Holmes simply could not believe a woman like Sarah could really love someone like him," he finally said quietly, "for all his arrogance regarding his work, human relations are not his strong point. It always seemed to me that Holmes did not expect to be valued by others for anything other than his work."

Irene regarded Watson thoughtfully. It seemed that Holmes' best friend understood him better than anyone else after all.

Irene was drawn back to the present and the small dancer sitting before her.

"So, why fall in love with such a difficult man - a man who is unpredictable and self-destructive?" Irene asked kindly.

That's a good question, Sarah thought.

"I can't rely on him to be consistent in the day to day," Sarah said honestly, "but I can trust him. He's been in my life a long time now and I know if I was ever in trouble, he would do anything he could to help. He wasn't like all the powerful men who offered me many things, but asked for everything I had in return. Sherlock never asked me for anything except the occasional bit of help with one of his cases. Meanwhile, he was putting his resources to work making sure I was safe. That's a rare thing, someone who quietly gives and asks very little in return."

Irene was silent and suddenly felt tears prick her eyes. She seldom felt moved now that she was in her middle years, but something about the quiet seriousness of Sarah's words touched her deeply. It was suddenly obvious that despite all the surface turbulence and tension of their relationship, it was built on very solid foundations.

"Also, Sherlock doesn't ask me to change myself. All these Dukes and Counts and Earls and whatever – they wanted me to give up my dancing and fit into their world. They wanted me to try and pretend to be a lady, while being looked down on by their friends and relatives all the while. Sherlock gives me complete freedom to keep living the way I wish," Sarah added.

"You give him the same freedom. You don't ask him to try a less dangerous career. You don't expect him to be home every night for dinner," Irene pointed out.

Sarah laughed.

"Or even every week for dinner! He would not be Sherlock if he wasn't solving mysteries and hunting down criminals," she said. "Having said all that, I do also find him attractive. You're never going to fall in love with a man you don't find attractive, are you? It wouldn't matter how trustworthy he is or how much freedom he gives you or even how much he may love you, if there is no basic attraction then there is nothing," Sarah said with a grin and a shrug.

"Hmmm, I don't go for the tall, lean, hungry look myself," Irene said with amusement, "but there is no doubt of the powerful attraction between the two of you. It fills up the space between and around you both."

Sarah reflected that it was unlikely Irene would find Holmes physically attractive. After all, both the men in Irene's life that Sarah knew of were not just handsome, but exceptionally so. The King of Bohemia, for his obvious faults, was magnificent in both stature and typical Germanic features. Mr Norton's face and profile was so classically perfect, refined and balanced that he could have been a beautiful sculpture brought to life.

"The heart wants what it wants," Sarah said with a shrug and a wry smile.

"Or else it does not care," Irene finished the quote and the two smiled warmly at each other in perfect concord.

One evening, after a long day of rehearsals in the ship's ballroom, Sarah opened the door of her first class cabin to find Holmes sitting cross legged in one of the room's armchairs, meditatively smoking like a chimney. There was no trace of disguise. His angular face was clean shaven, his dark hair combed meticulously into place and his linen was impeccable. Even if she had not been able to see him, she would have known he was there. It was the unmistakable scent of his tobacco and aftershave.

Sarah's face lit up and she immediately went over to him. He was out of the chair before she could reach him and he wrapped his long arms around her, holding her close against him as he kissed her.

After quite some time, he finally lifted his head and looked down at her seriously. She put her hands on either side of his face and returned his gaze, examining his thin features carefully. He seemed to be fine.

"I have no idea what your disguise was this week," Sarah said with a grin.

"Excellent, then it worked. Fortunately, none of my enemies appear to be aboard, so we can relax now until we reach America," he said.

"Good," Sarah said with relief. "How did you get in here anyway?" Sarah asked with a frown, realising that he did not have a key to her cabin as yet.

"I just broke in, of course. A very basic skill for a private detective," he said, his lean mouth twitching into a smile.

"Sorry I asked," Sarah replied, "I have a key for you anyway, so no need for any more burglary tricks."

But Holmes wasn't interested in talking any further that night.

Sarah knew that once they returned from the Americas, Sherlock would still face one of his most dangerous enemies, Colonel Moran. She also knew that Sherlock would deal with him in his usual brilliant fashion.

Despite all his perilous adventures and terrifying enemies, she already knew from Dr Watson's writings that Sherlock would live to a ripe old age and retire to the country to keep bees, but Sarah now also knew that she would be retiring there with him.

FINIS

For last year's words belong to last year's language,

And next year's words await another voice.

And to make an end is to make a beginning.

T S Eliot

A/N – Once again, thank you to the readers who took the time to write reviews. It is very much appreciated. I have enjoyed your company along the way.