I own nothing except my delusions.
Waking to the feeling of someone gently rousing her, Emma opened her eyes to see Killian sitting up, his hand on her shoulder.
"Hey," he said in a quiet voice with a trace of a smile. "I didn't want to just leave you here without a word, but I need to go, love."
Rubbing at her eyes, she sat up, pulling the sheet over her chest for a semblance of modesty. "What? What time is it?"
"Almost five," he told her, grinning as she balked before his smile slipped. "The sun will be rising soon."
Suddenly finding herself awake, she nodded. "Oh."
"Sorry," he apologized as he scratched behind his ear. "I didn't feel right leaving you to wake alone."
Feeling herself soften, she reached out to slowly kiss him, silently chasing away his doubt.
"Thank you," she said as they pulled apart.
He gave her a small smile before rising to retrieve his clothes.
She laid back on the bed, watching as he got dressed. She was able to faintly make out some of the scars and ink that decorated his body, having seen them in the night. She didn't find any of the scars off putting, instead seeing them as part of him. Despite her curiosity at how he'd gotten them, she was reluctant to ask, wanting him instead to tell her when he was ready. The previous night had been a huge step for him, revealing something she had never imagined. She wouldn't push him, caring about him and trusting him.
Remembering his confession the previous night, she decided that she had something to do later on.
Dressed, Killian moved back to the bed, sitting on the edge of the side he had slept on. "You can go back to sleep if you want. I'll be close."
Emma nodded, suddenly feeling herself unsure. "Are we okay?"
He slowly nodded. "Yeah. I'm sorry for hiding. I don't know how to ask for your forgiveness."
She leaned over to kiss him. "You don't have to."
Melting into him as he threaded his fingers through her hair, she moved her hands up his shoulders to wrap her arms around him.
"I have to go," he said mournfully as the broke apart, pressing his head to hers.
"See you tonight?" she asked hopefully.
He nodded. "Aye, tonight."
She couldn't help smiling even as he pulled away, giving her one last tender smile before disappearing through the door.
Laying back, she moved so she had the pillow Killian had rested on, letting his scent remain with her. The bed suddenly felt too big and too cold without him, making her accept that she wouldn't be falling back asleep. Relishing in the slight soreness of her body, she climbed out of the bed to gather her own clothes. She hadn't imagined their first time being intimate to happen as it did, but she found she wouldn't trade it for any other way.
Retrieving her leather jacket from the main room, she saw the fire had gone out sometime in the night, the area almost cold. Making a mental note to restart it in the evening, she pulled on her boots to leave.
She immediately saw his large black body when she stepped out, unable to deny her relief. She trusted Killian that he wouldn't disappear again, but was happy to see the proof of his words.
"There's a couple things I need to go take care of," she told him as he looked toward her.
He nodded. "Alright, love. Just be safe out there."
Moving closer, she rested a hand on his nose. "I will be. I'll be back tonight."
Grinning despite not being on his human body, he gently pushed into her touch.
Reluctantly, she moved to her car, her eyes finding him in the rear view mirror as she drove away.
She knew she had to go to the loft first, that she had to get cleaned up, not having fresh clothes at the cabin and knowing it wouldn't be in her favor to be in her clothes from the previous night.
It was quiet as she entered the loft, her parents sleeping soundly in their room. Careful to avoid waking them, she retreated to her room where she could gather new clothes so she could shower and become presentable.
She found that the longer she was away from Killian, the more anxious she was becoming, aware of what she was going up against. The shower did little to relax her, the hot water having little, if any, affect. Quickly dressing and throwing on minimal makeup, she left the loft, going back to her car.
She knew she didn't have to drive to the pawn shop, but decided she wouldn't have to deal with anyone that way as opposed to if she walked. Depending on what Gold told her, she knew she wouldn't want to have to talk to anyone out for a morning walk.
Emma ignored the 'closed' sign on the door as she pushed it open, the bell sounding loud to her ears in the early morning quiet.
"Miss Swan," Gold said in annoyance as he came out of the back room. "We're not open yet, but come in."
She strode up to the counter, her stance firm. Her voice was hard as she spoke. "What did you do to Killian?"
"I haven't done anything to him," Gold replied with an air of superiority.
Emma caught movement just behind the curtain, Belle's small figure emerging a second later. Neal followed after her.
"His curse," Emma said in frustration. "How do we lift it?"
Gold smirked. "Do you not understand the point of a curse, dearie? You don't just lift it on a whim. Curses are to make the one who's been cursed hurt, which is what I want for the captain."
Furious, Emma ignored the pain in her palms as her nails dug into her skin. "For three-hundred years? Hasn't he suffered enough?"
"For what he did to me?" Gold asked with a dark edge. "Not nearly enough."
"For giving your wife a way out?" she snapped back. "For helping her when she wanted a way out?"
"He shouldn't have taken what was mine!" Gold nearly yelled. "He shouldn't have destroyed the only way I had to find my son."
"So that warrants an eternity of misery and pain?" Emma almost screamed back.
He smirked back.
"What is his curse?" she pressed, forcing her voice to remain calm. "How do we lift it?"
Gold remained silent.
"If you want a deal, you've got one," she said, knowing that she was willing to be in Gold's debt if it meant she could help free Killian. "Name your terms."
"Rumple," Belle suddenly spoke up, her normally calm blue eyes sharp. "Tell her what she wants."
His smirk grew, carrying a dark edge.
"Fortunately for you, Miss Swan, a deal isn't required," he finally said.
Her gaze sharpening, Emma stared at him. "Why? You never turn down a deal."
"Because there's nothing you can do," he replied carelessly. "There's nothing you can do to lift the curse."
Emma suddenly felt like she had been plunged into icy water, cold taking over. "What?"
"There's nothing you can do to lift the curse," Gold repeated. "The curse I placed upon our dear captain was one of my own invention, a little experiment if you will. There's no way to lift it as by design. It's meant to last an eternity."
"So you treated him like a guinea pig?" she asked, her stomach twisting in nausea. "That's it then? You cursed him and now he has to live forever constantly changing and in pain?"
"Our own little Prometheus," Gold grinned.
She felt like screaming.
"That's sick," she said angrily. "You're telling me there's no way to lift his curse?"
"That's exactly what I'm saying," he replied, suddenly sounding bored.
The shop suddenly felt suffocating, the walls closing in on her. Without another word, Emma pushed her way out of the shop. Taking in lungfuls of chilled air, she fumbled with the keys to her car before starting it.
Emma knew there was no way she could face Killian and tell him, that she could barely hold herself together. He would be distressed enough without having to deal with her emotions.
Not wanting to return to the loft where her mother would worry over her or go to Granny's where she would have to be around people, she numbly drove to the station, knowing she would have some semblance of solitude.
The station was quiet as she entered it, offering her the sanctuary she needed. Nearly collapsing in her desk chair, she wearily rested her head in her hands, wondering how things could change so fast. Just the previous night she had found out the secret Killian had been harboring, with him sharing his fear and vulnerability to her before being more intimate with him than she ever had anyone else. Despite what had occurred earlier in the night, they had both woken up happy, if not with some regret because Killian had to leave so early.
Emma didn't know how to tell him what she found out from her meeting with Gold, knowing it could very easily break him.
Willing herself to pull herself together, she lifted her head to see what she needed to file before her eyes instead landed on the books they had been pouring over for months. A new determination swept over her, that even if Gold said there was no way to revoke the curse, she would continue to find some way, knowing how much Gold loved his loopholes.
David arrived an hour later, hiding his surprise at seeing her settled in with old books scattered messily around her desk.
"When did you get in?" he asked curiously, hiding his concern.
She shrugged, not looking up from her book. "Almost seven."
The worry was audible as he spoke again. "Did you… did you get through to Killian?"
Closing her eyes, she nodded before looking up from her book. "Yeah, I did. We're okay."
David looked relieved. "Good. I'm really glad to hear that."
She nodded once before returning to her book.
Determination quickly turned into anger as the books continued not give her a solution she wanted as the hours passed. Feeling her eyes sting with angry tears, she nearly flung a book away from her as it proved to be just as useful as the others.
David started at the sound, looking up at her with wide eyes. "Emma?"
"There's nothing in any of these books!" she nearly yelled.
Slowly rising, David stood to pick up the offending book and place it back on the desk. "Maybe we can try again to get something out of Gold. There has to be some way, Emma."
She stiffened, feeling herself about to break. "That's where I went this morning. Gold said there's no way to lift the curse. He said he made it so that Killian would suffer. He said there's nothing we can do."
As soon as David placed a hand on her shoulder, the dam broke. A sob broke free from Emma, quickly followed by more as tears began to fall freely.
He quickly kneeled down, pulling her into him and cradling her head as he always did, as if she were still the newborn he had to place in the wardrobe. More sobs broke free as Emma clutched onto him.
"Killian disappeared because he said that he remembered he can't die when I got hurt," she said through her tears. "He told me he's tried to end his own life before, but he can't. And now he's afraid that he's going to lose everything again and be stuck with nothing.
"He's hurting," Emma said brokenly. "Dad, he's hurting and I don't know what to do to help him."
David wrapped his arms more tightly around her. "I'm sorry, Emma. I'm sorry."
"I don't know how to tell him," she admitted. "I can't hide this from him, but I can't break him."
He didn't reply.
"I hate this," she said. "I really, really hate this. I hate Gold for doing this to him. I just want him to be free and happy."
"Every curse can be broken," David told her. "That means that some way, his can be broken, too. We'll find some way, Emma. You'll find some way."
"But how long will that take?" she asked.
He shook his head. "That I don't know."
After a few moments, he spoke again. "Look, why don't you go home. Just take it easy and try to clear your head."
Stiffly, she nodded as she pulled away.
"Can you drive?" he asked seriously.
"Yeah," she responded, wiping at her eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine."
He nodded, helping her up.
As soon as she was standing, she hugged him tightly. "Thanks, Dad."
He squeezed her tighter before letting go.
She drove back to the loft feeling numb, knowing it was only temporary. Mary Margaret hugged her as soon as she entered, having suspected that David called her.
"You'll find some way, Emma," she said softly.
Emma silently nodded as she pulled away. "I just don't know how I can help him."
Mary Margaret rested a comforting hand on her cheek. "Just be there for him."
Nodding, Emma moved away from her.
"Have you eaten anything?" Mary Margaret asked.
Emma shook her head, realizing she hadn't eaten since her breakfast the day before, hours before she saw Killian.
"I'll make you something," Mary Margaret replied with a motherly smile.
Giving a small smile of thanks, she followed her to the tiny kitchen to where she sat at the breakfast bar.
"I don't know how to tell him," she admitted.
Mary Margaret hummed. "I can't tell you how to tell him. But you know that he deserves to know."
Emma nodded, quiet for a moment before speaking again. "I don't think I ever wanted to hurt someone as much as I did Gold when I saw him."
Nodding, Mary Margaret looked back at her. "Of course. He's hurt someone you care deeply about. It makes sense you want to protect Killian."
Emma felt a light blush rise in her cheeks at her mother's words, knowing she was right.
Author's note: So I have some news for you guys, and that I've actually finished this story. So unless I decide to take or add a chapter or two, which has happened before, this fic will have 46 chapters. Now I just have to decide which story to do next! I hope you all enjoyed the chapter.
Teaser: "Wait, love," he said, his voice suddenly serious. "We need to talk."
Review?