Good Evening,

This is a 30 AU challenge with the Mad Child! This is 28 out of 30. Afterwards, please go check out the Mad Child's version of this AU if you hadn't already!

The theme for this AU is: Pretend date!

Alucard and Seras ARE HUMAN in this!

Oxford Not Brogues

Dodging a Bullet

Seras sat anxiously at a table in a somewhat nice restaurant. It wasn't anything too fancy, but nice enough that you would still want to look your best going here. The food was good and at a reasonable price, but none of that mattered to Seras as she drummed her fingers against the table top, waiting nervously for her blind date to arrive. This was her sixth blind date this year! She's been trying to find someone compatible for a good three years now but has had no luck. The guy either wasn't into her or she wasn't into him or they end up together only for him to show his true colors. A couple of them had even cheated on Seras. Since her last boyfriend, which was two years ago, she hasn't had a single decent date. Her friends have been trying to hook her up with people left and right, and sometimes she would go on a blind date just so her friends could stop bothering her about it. But now she was getting sick and tired of it. She swears this was the last time she was letting her friends set her up with a blind date!

The small blonde sat there looking ever so pretty in her black dress. The skirt came down just below the knee and she wore this simple, but pretty flower necklace. Her hair was just a bit spikier than normal and she wore eyeliner and mascara to really make her eyes pop. She wore a touch of lipstick, making them a faint pink. But she still didn't feel good about herself. What was wrong with her? Why did she have bad date after bad date? She used to think that it was the guys and that she just couldn't click with them or they were too rude or too intense or were just after one thing. But maybe…she was the problem. Was there something wrong with her that made her unappealing to the opposite sex? Was she…unattractive? Or maybe people found her personality too dull and/or boring? Seras sighed through her nose as she glanced over at the front door of the restaurant for what felt like the billionth time since she sat down. Much to her horror, an ex of hers walked in and she knew instantly that that was her blind date. One reason she knew, her friend told her that the guy she was meeting with was Robert, she just didn't know that it would be her douche of an ex Robert! Frantically, Seras quickly grabbed her menu and put it up to hide her face from him. Did he know that he was meeting with her?! What did her friend tell him?

Seras jumped when someone sat down in the seat across from her. Gasping, she lowered her menu a little to see a man she had never met before. He had pale skin, deep green eyes, and shoulder length black messy hair. He wore a nice white button up shirt and black khakis, looking like he was on a date himself. Why he was sitting here baffled her. He leaned forward to place his folded hands on top of the table and he flashed a small grin as a greeting to her. Seras nervously glanced back at the front door to see Robert still standing there. He was searching the restaurant. That's when she figured that he must be looking for a lonely woman sitting at a table with the description her friend gave to him. Did he forget his blind date's name? How? He was such a tool! Very 'casually' Seras shifted the menu to the side to hide her face better, though it was pretty obvious that she was trying to hide, and she looked back at the man sitting across from her.

"Pardon, but…what are you doing at my table?" She asked him hesitantly. The man gestured behind her.

"I've been sitting behind you for the past twenty minutes waiting for my date to show, but I think I've been stood up. I was going to come over anyway since I think you were being stood up as well, but I can now see that your date might be here and you're trying to hide from him. Why?" The man asked her, looking highly intrigued and his grin widened.

"Blind date, turned out to be my ex though." Seras muttered as she let her gaze fall towards the table. "Is he still here?" The man looked over his shoulder at the door.

"What does he look like?" He asked, but before she could answer he continued. "The man in the cheap brown suit?"

"Yeah, that's him." She whispered with a nod of her head. There were a few seconds of silence as the man continued watching her ex.

"He's turning around…" The man told her. Another few seconds went by. "He's gone. It looks like he might be heading to the bathroom though." Sighing in relief, Seras set her menu back down on the table and glanced at the front of the restaurant to see that her ex was no longer there. She smiled as she looked back at the man sitting across from her.

"So," She started with a pleasant smile. "You were stood up?"

"Honestly, I'm not surprised." He answered with a snicker. "I think I met her before at a party, she was kind of stuck up." He then gestured behind him. "Why were you on a blind date with an ex?"

"Friends," Seras laughed. "I guess they didn't know that I dated him and things ended badly for us."

"Well, I think we can both learn from this that we shouldn't let our friends set up blind dates for us." The man snickered bringing a smile to the girl's face. She held out a hand to him.

"I'm Seras," She told him. Grinning wolfishly at her, he took her hand and lightly shook it.

"Alucard," He purred. She rested her hand back in her lap. She thought about getting up and leaving since both of their dates were a bust, but he spoke, keeping her seated there with her eyes on him. "Since my date stood me up and your date is…Well, an asshole that you don't wish to deal with, perhaps we can…"

"Have a date?" Seras finished for him with an arched brow, wondering if he was serious. His brows furrowed together, but his smirk never faltered.

"I wouldn't say that." He responded with a wave of his hand. "More of…a fake date, pretend, if you will."

"You've piqued my interest, continue." The small blonde replied and this time she waved her hand, wanting him to proceed.

"Since we both suck at dating," Alucard snickered. "Maybe we can help each other out. Let's act like we're on a normal everyday date and give each other feedback to see what in the hell we're doing wrong." This amused her. She smirked at the man and shook her head at him.

"So, you have a hard time finding someone too?" She asked.

"I've been trying for two years now." Alucard scoffed in frustration. "I don't know what it is. Is it me? That's why I think this fake date will help greatly. Perhaps I come off too strongly or I'm rude without realizing it, but you can assist me. Tell me what I'm doing wrong on a date and I can do the same for you. Maybe then we can improve and fit in like all the rest and actually find someone we can click with." Seras sat there for a long while staring at him. He just said everything of how she felt. He was struggling just like her to meet people and find someone special. And things have become so rough that he was starting to think badly of himself, much like she was. When she was silent for so long, his smirk slowly fell. Wondering if he lost her, he leaned back in his seat. "Well, what do you think?" Leaning forward, Seras placed her arms on the table.

"I think you're brilliant," She responded, causing the smirk to return to his face. "It sounds like this just might work." A smirk then crept onto her face. "And like a lot of fun," She practically purred. The man then held out his hands.

"So, it's a fake date?" Alucard asked with a chuckle.

"Most definitely!" Seras exclaimed with a nod of her head.

"Let's do this then." He purred. Sitting up properly like a gentleman, Alucard folded his hands on the table once more and gave her a polite smile. Playfully mimicking him, the small blonde also sat up in her seat and folded her hands as well. But the two couldn't help but snicker under their breaths.

"So," Seras broke the silence between them and she gestured a hand at him. "What do you do for a living, Alucard?"

"I'm a construction manager," He answered. He knew that she was surprised when her eyes widened slightly. "I know, don't really look the part do I? You would expect a big muscly, sweaty guy with his pants around his arse, showing you everything that you don't want to see."

"I'm just mainly curious what led you to want to work in construction." She responded with a shrug. Alucard sighed softly as he looked down at the table and he thought about it for a second or two.

"I find construction…soothing," He answered and his green eyes flickered back to her face. "I like the noise, the feel of the sun on my face, and the hard labor. But I also like how it can be peaceful. Being the manager I can just sit in my office and look over the plans without having to be bothered and just do my work. But most days I'll be out there working because I find it relaxing." Seras smiled at his answer.

"When you put it that way, it all sounds nice." She whispered. "How long have you been in construction?"

"Since I was about thirteen, maybe fourteen. It was just little jobs during the summers, but eventually I got a good name in for myself and worked my way up the ranks." He responded as he made a hand gesture that emphasized him working up the ranks. He was somewhat surprised by her. Normally after being asked that, people sat there and questioned his occupation wondering how he can deal with all that dirt and coming home dirty about every single day. His dates would make faces the entire time he would describe his work environment. But Seras wasn't so quick to judge the way he liked things. She didn't question him why he liked all that noise at the construction sites. It seemed she understood perfectly that he found the noise to be like a lullaby and that he was passionate about his work. "What about you? What do you do for a living?"

"Right now I'm a preschool teacher." Seras answered with a beautiful smile that made him feel warm.

"Right now?" He asked. "Do you plan on being something else?" She nodded her head.

"I would like to teach primary school, work with slightly older kids." She responded with a shrug.

"How long have you been a teacher?" He asked.

"This is my second year." She answered and was about continue but they were interrupted.

"Do you know what you would like to order?" Their waiter asked. Forgetting that they were in a restaurant, Alucard and Seras glanced up at the man in slight surprise. He stared down at them with a polite smile with his notepad out, prepared to take their order. Looking down at their menus, they realized that they forgot to look at them. Bashfully, the small blonde looked up at him.

"I'm sorry. Could you give us just five more minutes to look over the menu?" She asked him. The waiter nodded his head in agreeance.

"Sure, take your time." He answered, and then he went off to his next assigned table. Afterwards Alucard and Seras picked up their menus and started looking over them.

"So," Alucard started up again. "What made you want to become a teacher?"

"Hmn," Seras hummed as her eyes flickered down the page, reading the different things they had. "When I was fifteen I'd started volunteering at the preschool. I fell in love with those little kids so damn fast that I just never wanted to leave." She whispered with a nostalgic look in her eyes and a warm smile on her face. Alucard glanced at her over his menu and was unable to resist smiling at that smile she wore. But then something she had said clicked in his head. He furrowed his brows in confusion.

"You started volunteering at the age of fifteen? Preschool normally starts the same time other schools do. Weren't you in school?" He asked, but then a crooked grin came onto his face and he chuckled. "Or were you a little troublemaker in school? Did you ditch?" The smile fell from her face and she looked at him.

"Troublemaker yes, but ditcher no." She answered with a shake of her head. Her eyes then flickered back to the menu. "My education system was different compared to other schools. In fact, it wasn't a real school at all." This confused the male all the more. His smirk faltered and his brows furrowed all over again.

"Were you home schooled?" He asked.

"No, I grew up in an orphanage. With the way their education system was, I had time to volunteer at the preschool." She responded. He stared at her, utterly speechless and didn't know what he should do or say or how to change the subject.

"I'm sorry," Was all he was capable of saying at the moment, but she pretended not to hear.

"The shrimp Alfredo sounds really good," Seras commented, changing the subject for him and he was somewhat grateful for that. He glanced back at his own menu. "But then again…that porterhouse steak sounds so good as well." Smirking, Alucard set his menu down to stare at her.

"Then let's get both." He purred. Seras glanced back at him.

"Pardon?" She muttered.

"You order the shrimp Alfredo, I'll order the porterhouse steak, and then we'll split it." He suggested.

"You don't mind ordering the steak? Is that what you want?" She asked with an arched brow, feeling bad that she might've made him order something that he might not like.

"A steak sounds really good right now." He responded with a nod. "I think I can live off of steak." He chuckled then. "Plus, as you said, that shrimp Alfredo sounds good as well." Seras smiled brightly at him and set her own menu down in front of her.

"Okay then!" She purred. "Let's do that then." For a moment, it went silent between them. It was almost like a seriousness came over them both and their smiles slowly fell.

"Why did you have to live at an orphanage?" Alucard asked her then, deciding to just ask her the question they both knew he was thinking about. Her gaze flickered about as she licked over her lips.

"My parents died," She answered quickly, like ripping off a Band-Aid. She then reached out a hand to play with her glass of water. She lightly taped her nail against the glass. "Well, murdered," She corrected herself with a distant look in her eyes.

"How old were you when it happened?" He asked her quietly as if he was afraid to poke the bear. He didn't know how far he should take the questions. She didn't seem to be mad at him yet for asking.

"Eight or nine," She whispered. She then nodded her head. "Nine,"

"Were…you there when it happened?" He asked and he knew that she reached her limit. She sat up in her chair with a deep sigh and finally looked back at him.

"I was, but I really don't want to talk about it. Sorry," She whispered with a gentle smile to excuse her rudeness.

"Sorry," He murmured and dropped his gaze.

"It's fine," She muttered. Instantly, she tried living up the conversation by asking him a question. "What about your childhood?" Alucard grinned lightly and just waved his hand.

"Normal," He snickered. "Played with my friends, went to school, and came home to parents fighting, and then a divorce because my father cheated on my mum."

"Normal?" Seras repeated in a laugh.

"Most days, people's parents don't stay together. It's becoming normal to see children with a single parent raising them." Alucard answered with a shrug.

"So, which parent raised you? Your mum or your dad? Or was it co-parenting still?" She asked.

"Still?" Alucard snickered and he looked over at her. "Even when I was born and with him married to my mum, he still had nothing to do with me. It seemed like he was always at work. It wasn't until I was older when I realized that he was actually with other women. My mum raised me and my father didn't care at all that she got full custody. I would see him every now and then, but I never had any kind of relationship with him. In all honesty, I can't stand his guts." He admitted.

"When did they divorce?" Seras asked with furrowed brows.

"When I was about twelve," Alucard whispered. "But their divorce didn't affect me. I was actually happy that it was just me and my mum, and she seemed far happier too." The small blonde couldn't help smiling at him and the bond he has with his mother.

"Well, I'm sorry your father is such an asshole, but your mother sounds like a lovely woman." Seras responded causing him to snicker once more.

"That she is," He chuckled. "But I've given her such hell over the years. I was quite the little troublemaker…still am." He added that last part proudly. The small blonde laughed in her hand.

"Really?" She purred sarcastically. "I bet I was far worse."

"Oh, is that the smell of someone competing with me?" Alucard asked as he raised a brow. "Honey, you have no idea who you're talking to. I was the master at getting my teachers to pull out their hair."

"Ah, lucky you." Seras snickered. "Christian orphanage, they didn't pull out their hair to restrain themselves, they would smack your hands with rulers five to ten times." She said as she raised her hands, though her bruises and marks had healed years ago. Alucard chuckled and they both leaned forward, getting ready for a battle of who was a worse kid.

"I used to pull pranks," Alucard purred like this was some great achievement.

"I used to start fights," Seras added. This caused his grin to widen further.

"I used to win fights." He rubbed in her face.

"I would runaway only to be dragged back to the orphanage by the police." She went on.

"I would get arrested by the police," Alucard sneered.

"I was arrested once for punching an officer and was sent into the scared straight program." Seras responded. The man paused for a second when he realized that she might have won this round.

"I was arrested once for a fight I started with another student." Alucard sighed in defeat, knowing that her assault was far worse than his.

"Ha!" Seras exclaimed afterwards with such a wide smile on her face. "I win," She whispered. They were leaned so far onto the table that their faces were close and they were staring into each other's eyes.

"Yes, you've won." Alucard agreed softly. His eyes kept trailing down to stare at her lips. They were so close. If he just leaned in a little more they would be kissing. "You were quite the little troublemaker in your youth." They were both thinking it, they both wanted to lean in for that kiss. After that small competition it was like a light switch, they were both so very aroused for one another, but best of all, they were starting to see that they might have finally found a perfect match. Before either of them could lean in to kiss the other, they were interrupted once again.

"Have you two decided what you would like?" The waiter asked them. Quickly, Alucard and Seras sat back in their seats, pretending like they hadn't just almost kissed.

"Um, yes!" The small blonde exclaimed as she grabbed her menu. "I would like the shrimp Alfredo please." He wrote down her order before looking over at the man.

"And you, Sir?" The waiter asked.

"The porterhouse steak with grilled onion and mushrooms on the side please." Alucard answered. Seras just started crushing more on him. It was like he had read her mind about the grilled onions and mushrooms. You just can't have a steak without them! The waiter nodded, wrote down the order, and then took their menus.

"If that will be all," The waiter added, earning a nod from both.

"That'll be it, thank you." Seras responded with a polite smile. The waiter then left them to be alone again causing both of them to smile.

Dinner had been lovely. It was the greatest time either of them had ever been on a date. They shared food, laughed, smiled, and talked. They even ordered dessert so they can stay and talk longer. And there was most definitely some flirting. When it came time to go, they split the check in half, even though Alucard offered to pay for her at least three times, but it didn't feel right to let him since it was only a fake date and not an official one. But even if it was official, she would have felt funny making him pay. Nearly half an hour after leaving the restaurant, Alucard was walking Seras home.

"So, any tips about our fake date?" Seras asked as she slowly walked down the street to stay with him for as long as possible. He didn't seem to mind her slow pace. He took small steps to keep up with her.

"Truthfully?" He asked. She nodded her head. "You were perfect," He whispered with a genuine smile and a warm look in his eyes. "I have no idea what is wrong with the men you have been dating. They had to be mentally challenged in some way in order to not be able to grasp the fact that you are a catch." Hearing that caused her to blush hardcore. "You participated in the conversation, you showed interest and were supportive of the things I talked about, you were funny, and charming."

"I'm surprised you don't have a girlfriend." Seras laughed softly. "I don't know who it is you've been meeting with, but they have to be stuck up bitches or something. By far you are the most decent man I have ever dated. Fake dated, sorry." She giggled from her mistake. "You were polite, you looked me in the eye when we talked, and you were just so very nice. And that smile of yours! How does it not reel girls in? I'm sorry if this offends you, but I'm glad that your date stood you up. She missed out big time and one day I hope she opens her eyes to see how great of a catch you are and she regrets never coming to have dinner with you." The small blonde was stopped in her tracks when Alucard gently grabbed her by her arm. He gingerly pulled her back just so he could swoop down and kiss her. Seras didn't hesitate kissing him back. She wrapped an arm around his neck as he raveled his arm around her lower back, pulling her closer. Seras stood up on her tip toes and kissed him deeply. They were both on such a high from their first kiss. Smiling, they pulled away to stare into each other's eyes.

"I want to take you on a real date." Alucard whispered. He was ecstatic when she nodded her head in agreement and both of their smiles widened. He leaned back in to give her another kiss on the lips. "Tomorrow night?"

"I wish it was already here," She whispered.

"Me too," Alucard whispered and he kissed her again. Afterwards, he set her back down on her feet and moved his arm from her lower back. "Let me walk you home." He then held out his hand to her. Seras happily interlaced her fingers with his and they proceeded down the street.

"You can come in if you want and stay for 'awhile'." She responded with a sweet laugh.

"Troublemaker," Alucard snickered.

The End

I hope you guys enjoyed this AU! Please go check out the Mad Child's version of this AU if you hadn't already!

Oxford Not Brogues