Lyricism, Pt 4

Lyricism, n: Music that expresses direct personal emotion, especially in the manner of a song.

Koushiro dropped marshmallows into steaming mugs under Eimi's discriminating gaze. She was teaching him how to make hot chocolate from scratch, spike it with Kahlua, and season it with cinnamon and nutmeg. The treat already seemed impossibly decadent, but then Eimi said, "Now add caramel and chocolate."

Koushiro obediently drizzled both sauces on the marshmallows, then slid a mug to Eimi. He walked around the kitchen counter and planted himself on the stool beside hers. They blew into their mugs, but Koushiro was too impatient to wait. He took a cautious sip, then fought the urge to moan. The drink was rich, layered, and deeply comforting. It was the perfect way to calm down after… After whatever just happened in Eimi's studio.

They drank in silence, elbow to elbow. After a while, Koushiro hesitantly began, "May I… May I ask you a favor?" Koushiro stared into his drink, unable to look at Eimi. He was afraid to request more after having received so much, and yet… He had to be as honest as possible.

"What's up?"

"I… I believe I explained why I'm nervous about entering a romantic relationship with you, despite wanting it so much."

Her hand landed on his elbow. Somewhat reluctantly, Koushiro turned to her and found a tender smile. "If you need something, I want you to tell me, and I'll try my best to tell you, too. That's how we'll make this work."

A rush of emotions overtook him, resolving into deep, grateful affection. "Y-yes, I… You're right. I realize that you've waited a long time, but… I was wondering if you'd be willing to take this slowly."

"How so?" Although her tone didn't change, her grip tightened. A warning voice told Koushiro to drop this, to shield what he had already been given. Another suggested that managing expectations was the only way for him to succeed as a boyfriend.

"I'm… unsure of how to shift from a platonic to a romantic relationship. I was hoping..." The uncertainty and hurt on her face caused a flash flood of panic. Koushiro gripped her hand, establishing a connection the only way he knew how.

"I'm not backpedaling," he hastened to say. "I want to be with you. I'm just..." He licked his lips, and the warm, sweet taste of hot chocolate registered. Koushiro ran his thumb over Eimi's hand, wanting to warm her the way she warmed him, despite his lack of skill. "I'm out of my element."

Eimi's grip slackened from punishing to comforting. "You're worrying too much," she said gently. "I'll go at whatever pace you need, but..." She broke off for a long moment, and Koushiro watched her brain work through her eyes. Emotions and ideas cycled with a rapidness that was dizzying, even from the outside. He couldn't imagine what it felt like for her.

"Honestly?" she said at last. "Um, I don't want to be presumptuous, but... We already have a strong relationship. Don't worry about classifying things and... I don't know, measuring up to some outside standard. I love you. All you have to do is treat me right and communicate with me."

Koushiro's neck cracked as his head whirled back to his hot chocolate. Eimi's tone was matter-of-fact, but her eyes were tender and her smile was sweet and it was far too hot in here.

"I... I don't know why I feel this way," he whispered. "The fear and the worry... Logically, I know they aren't necessary. I trust you, and I know that what you're saying is sincere. I just..."

"I think I understand," Eimi murmured. "You're carrying things that you don't need. I'm not a psychologist, but I know how easy it is for trauma to... Well, it's called baggage, right?"

"You mean… Hurt from something that happened in the past?" Koushiro turned to her and drank in her expression of concern. Slowly, his fingers twined between hers. He felt anchored, safer. "I can't excise those events from my memory."

"I know. The event itself never goes away, and... Maybe the wound will heal, but leave a scar. But you're carrying the fear and the anxiety and the self-doubt everywhere, and... You don't have to. You can choose to put it down and walk away."

Koushiro stared into the melting puddle of marshmallow goo. Suddenly, he was wishing for less chocolate and more alcohol, but only in a passing way. With a mixture of awe and fear, he was beginning to sense that he desired progress, not distraction.

He took a long draught, savoring the warmth. Then, in a small, weak voice, he asked, "How?"

There was a grating sound as Eimi scootched her stool closer. Her arm wrapped around his waist, and he leaned into her. "You know I moved away from my family in high school and went to live with my grandmother in the country."

Koushiro nodded. Vaguely, he knew that Eimi was more or less cut off from her parents. He had never probed the issue, and Eimi never offered details.

"When I moved... I needed help. Taichi's parents found a therapist that I saw in online video sessions for... Well, a long time. And, because the risks of mental trauma are high after intensive hospitalizations, and because my mental health was involved in my illness, I'm set to start sessions with her again soon."

Koushiro turned to Eimi, stunned. "You- But you seem-" His mouth snapped shut, a defense against ill-chosen words. Eimi watched with clear amusement as he silently panicked.

"You're emotionally mature," he hazarded at last.

Grinning, Eimi shook her head. "Thanks, but... Honestly, I don't think there's a single person on this earth who wouldn't benefit from therapy."

Koushiro rubbed the back of his neck. He had no idea how to discuss this subject without unintentionally causing offense. "Um... Did it help you?"

Eimi sighed, but it was a peaceful sound. It brought to mind an older person talking about an important memory. "Yes. You have no idea."

Koushiro slumped over his mug. "Is it... difficult?"

Her head tipped into his, and long, silky hair pooled on his shoulder and slid against his neck. "Some days, I would end a session feeling great. Some days, I'd struggle afterward. It's work, and it often centers on acknowledging, accepting, and processing hurtful things that happened to you. It's difficult, but if you're willing to be vulnerable and do the work... Well, you'll see the results."

Koushiro's eyes drifted shut. Sometimes, when he wasn't working or distracting himself, he felt the hooks latched in his heart. They strained against a net swollen with fear, anxiety, self-doubt, and self-loathing, yanking and shredding delicate tissues. What would it feel like to cut off the net and everything it held, even if scars remained?

"Your sessions are starting soon?" Koushiro asked. Eimi nodded, nudging his head up and down with hers.

Koushiro's grip on her hand tightened, securing his connection. "Um. Do you think... Perhaps your therapist has a colleague with an opening?"

Her skin shifted against his, soft, warm. Her lips pressed to his cheek. "I'm sure she does. I'll ask."

Koushiro swallowed hard. Although he was drinking hot chocolate and curled up with someone he loved, his pulse throbbed, sending reverberations all over his body. It felt like things were happening so fast- dating Eimi, starting therapy, suddenly understanding that he wanted to grow. Although it was tempting to tell himself that too much was changing at once, deep down, Koushiro knew that everything had been a long time coming, carbon morphing into diamond under pressure in the depths of his mind.

"Hey?" Eimi murmured. Blinking, Koushiro ran his thumb along her hand in response. "I'm so, so proud of you."

A tiny jolt interrupted his heartbeat, a hiccup in his circulatory system. With difficulty, Koushiro swallowed a nervous, awkward laugh. After the rush of flustered energy passed, he considered the words, analyzed them. And suddenly, there was a burning in his eyes.

And, with honest amazement, he replied, "I… I think I am, too."

XXX

Eimi sat beside Koushiro on the couch in the living room, reading a book while he worked. Aegis sniffed around the perimeter, engaged in a security check. She looked over the edge of the book and smiled as he stuck his snout beneath a rug.

"No dust bunnies on his watch," Koushiro said.

Eimi twitched, caught off guard. Koushiro was typing, but looking at her with a grin. "You noticed that? I thought you were working."

"I am. You laughed, so I investigated." A thick eyebrow rose, more playful than skeptical. "I trust I'm allowed?"

A dopey smile stretched her cheeks. Eimi squished closer, until their sides touched. Although he never intentionally ignored her, Eimi sometimes struggled to get Koushiro's attention. For him to divert focus from his task just because she reacted to her dog's antics…

She snuggled into him, seeking a comfortable reading angle. "Investigate me all you want."

Koushiro's other brow rose, along with the corners of his mouth. "Hm. Observation is a fine starting point, but a thorough report requires a hands-on approach."

That impish, lighthearted turn of mind evaporated, vaporized by a rush of heat. Eimi's mouth was already moving in anticipation of parrying, but her brain offered nothing but a high-pitched shriek than translated into a whispered, "Buh."

Koushiro turned away from the laptop and laughed, a rare and sweet sound that infectiously leaped to Eimi. "I'm afraid my hands are occupied. Could I trouble you for yours?"

Eimi wrapped an arm around his shoulders and nuzzled in. "When did you get so smooth?"

The tapping of fingers against keys halted. "Am I?" he asked. "That's new. I thought this was like our typical repartee, but I suppose it is more… charged? Have I overstepped?"

"What?" Eimi gawked, but Koushiro kept his eyes on his screen. She grabbed his chin and tipped it towards her. "I liked it! A lot! Flirt with me whenever you want."

He cleared his throat. "I, uh, I'll make a note."

Laughing, Eimi flopped back down beside him. She was about to nuzzle in again when her cell phone rang. Eimi frowned at it, mocking her from the coffee table, pulling her away from this unprecedented, incredible moment. She deliberated ignoring it until Koushiro said, "Isn't that Taichi-san's ring tone?"

"Ah!" Eimi grabbed the device and brought it to her ear. "Hey, Taichi."

His voice came through the receiver, animated, familiar. "Hey. Got time to talk?"

Her annoyance faded, replaced by a warm sense of belonging. "For you? Always."

"Gross." He grunted, a gruff sound, but Eimi heard the soft chuckle that followed. "How are you?"

"Great! I feel a lot more lively lately." Eimi infused her voice with all the pep she could muster. Let Taichi deny and deflect all he wanted; he worried for her, worried for all of them.

"Really? Damn, but that's good to hear. How is Koushiro? Is he taking good care of you?"

A giggle slid free, fizzy and light, rising like bubbles in champagne. Koushiro elbowed her, a reminder to reel it in. The reason why was clear enough; even to her own ears, she sounded like a besotted school girl. "Yes. He's right here."

Eimi moved the phone closer to Koushiro. "Taichi-san," he said in a monotone.

"Yikes," Taichi laughed. "Don't sound too happy to hear from me."

Koushiro slammed a fingertip against a mouse key. "You'll forgive me if your last interrogation dampened my enthusiasm."

"What!" Eimi cried. "Are you giving Koushiro-kun a hard time?"

"Psh, no. Just asked some questions. But if you're happy, then it's all good."

Smiling, Eimi grasped Koushiro's wrist. When he looked up, she caught his glance and said, "Don't worry, Taichi. I'm very happy."

Koushiro's mouth fell open and hung there until he pulled himself together. Faint color appeared on his cheeks, and Eimi fought the urge to kiss it. Taichi was trying to talk to her, after all.

Taichi cleared his throat, a nervous sound that slammed Eimi into attention. "Good. Listen, uh, I'm calling to ask you something important."

"Oh?" Koushiro tipped his head, echoing her curiosity, so Eimi held the phone between them. "What's up?"

Taichi's silence spoke volumes, and Eimi locked worried eyes with Koushiro. After a deep sigh, Taichi said, "Okay, first, I'm not trying to pressure you or change your lifestyle. Just hear me out before you say anything, okay?"

Koushiro scowled and arched a brow. This can't be good, the expression said, and Eimi nodded in agreement.

"Hikari's due in February. That's like, what… six months away? I know a lot of our group is in Odaiba with Hikari already, but… I don't know. She and Takeru both have work. Except for my mom, everyone works. I just… I want more support available for Hikari in Odaiba."

Eimi's grip on Koushiro's hand tightened. "Taichi…"

She could almost see him pinching the bridge of his nose. "Let me finish. I'm not asking you to move here. But you give most of your shows in Tokyo, right?"

"Um… That is true…" Eimi's front teeth dug into her lower lip. What was Taichi trying to set up? She cast a sidelong glance at Koushiro. Whatever this is, I really hope Taichi doesn't suggest something that would take me away from him. Especially not now.

What remained of Taichi's hesitance sloughed away, discarded like a corn husk. He barreled ahead, full speed, gaining animation and enthusiasm with each syllable. "Right! So it makes sense to have a home base in Odaiba for shows and recording. Here's what I'm thinking: would you like to share an apartment with me?"

"H-huh?!" Koushiro's head whipped towards her, and Eimi boggled right back, oddly reassured by their mutual confusion. "I live here," she said, as if he had forgotten.

"Obviously. But listen… Ever since… That day, I've…" He sighed, and Eimi heard a floomf, suggesting that he had collapsed onto a bed or couch. "I… Seeing you like that… it scared the hell out of me. And I guess… You remember that talks we had in your bus and the hospital. Since all of that happened, I've been… Thinking about what I want."

Taichi swallowed hard, and Eimi mimicked him. Koushiro transferred her hand to his other one and placed an arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him, grateful for the support. "I'm so sorry I scared you."

"Y-yeah. One of my decisions is still up in the air, so I won't say anything yet. But the other… I want to see you more. I mean, hell, how often do I get to see you these days? Maybe four or five times a year? We're all busy, yeah. We all have to live our lives. But- damn it…"

He broke off with a frustrated sound that was almost a growl. "I guess I just wonder… What's the damned point of a life where you can't be with the people that matter the most? When you told me that you're lonely… Fuck, Eimi. There's no goddamned reason for that."

Koushiro pulled her into him, holding her closer. Eimi could feel his gaze on her, a heavy weight that almost itched, but she stared straight ahead, unable to look at him. Had Taichi forgotten that Koushiro was here? This wasn't something she wanted broadcasted.

"Which is why… You know I have a huge ass apartment that I'm never in. I don't like admitting it, but… It can feel empty. I'd ask my girlfriend to share a place with me, but she can only come to Japan a few times a year. So I thought… Maybe, if it was your home, too, it would feel more… well, homey?"

Eimi was too shocked to speak, so Taichi pressed on, upping his volume and speed. "There's benefits, you know. You won't have to use hotels or squeeze onto someone's couch when you have a show here. You can do longer local tours, because you'll have a comfortable place nearby. And Koushiro's parents are here. We can set up a guest area so he can crash with us when he visits them. Oh! And your manager won't have to bribe hotels to allow Aegis. We'll make sure our complex is dog friendly. It's easier on him, since he won't have to be hauled to different hotel rooms. And if you ever feel like visiting, you have a home here, near Hikari and Takeru and everyone."

"Wow, uh, you've… really thought about this." Eimi turned to Koushiro at last, looking for guidance. He patted her back, but his overwhelmed expression wasn't particularly helpful. "Um, have you thought about needing your privacy?"

"Nah, it shouldn't be a problem. I figure our overlap there will be pretty low, and we'll have our own bedrooms. If you get too sick of me, you can go back to your house. I'm not expecting you to live there that often, but a few days here, maybe a week there… I think it could make a big difference for all of us. And Koushiro, you could come with her. I mean, damn. I'm lucky to see you once a year anymore. It's not enough."

"Actually… I've already decided to visit Odaiba more often. In fact, Eimi-san and I will be there in a few weeks for Jyou's licensing exam, assuming that Eimi-san's recovery continues to go well."

"Really? Great! Give me the details when you have 'em. I'm trying to set up a dinner for everyone in Odaiba, since most of us will be around soon. I wasn't sure if I'd be able get you, Koushiro."

"I'll do my best to be there," Koushiro said. "Perhaps you and Eimi-san can look for your apartment then?" Eimi elbowed him, a scold for encouraging Taichi without her input. He smiled in return, a teasing grin so cute that Eimi inched towards him, forgetting the conversation.

Taichi's laughter pulled her back to reality, and Eimi blinked, flushing as she tore her eyes from Koushiro's lips. "Are you pushing for this, Koushiro?"

That teasing grin turned apologetic. "I suppose I am. Frankly, I think it would benefit everyone. I'd be happy to pay for my usage of this guest area you mentioned."

Eimi's voice clashed with Taichi's as they turned down his offer. "Dude, I'd just be glad to see you. Would you seriously visit?"

"I would, yes, particularly if I have Eimi-san's company while traveling. And again, please cut 'dude' from your vocabulary."

"Ha ha," Taichi drawled. "But seriously, you've been a hermit ever since you moved. Why the sudden change?"

The smile melted from Koushiro's face. "From what you said, our reasons are similar. Learning, teaching, and challenging my limits are what I enjoy, but… I'm fortunate to have people who care for me. I regret having distanced them for so long."

"Well, damn," Taichi muttered. "Now we have to do it, Eimi."

Eimi hesitated, eyes focused on Koushiro's tiny smile. She knew she should deliberate; this was a big decision, and she could spend an unreasonable amount of time thinking through little things. But the thought of seeing her friends more often, even at the cost of being in the city, was too tempting, especially if Koushiro joined her. "Alright," she said, sounding amazed even to her own ears.

"Really?" Taichi cried. "I thought I'd have to argue with you for hours. Thanks for speaking up, Koushiro."

Koushiro's body relaxed, oozing into hers. "No problem."

"Well, since that's taken care of… It's late where I am. I'm gonna get some sleep. Take it easy, okay Eimi? And thanks again for being with her, Koushiro."

They exchanged goodbyes, and Eimi dropped the phone on her lap instead of placing it on the coffee table. Koushiro would probably move away from her soon to work, but there was no way Eimi would hurry that process along.

He patted her shoulder and sighed. "I apologize for speaking for you. Taichi-san's proposal was compelling, but perhaps I was out of line."

"It's alright. I'm… actually really excited about this." A tiny scowl formed as she considered. "Is that bad? I left Odaiba years ago for a reason. I wanted to leave, but now… Now I'm going to have a home there again? Does that mean I did the wrong thing by moving?"

"I admit that lately, I've been wondering the same thing. However… We're not static beings. Our needs change over time, and that doesn't mean what we did before was a mistake. Even now, I don't want to move to Odaiba. But having a place to stay and you to travel with… Suddenly, the time spent traveling seems much less onerous."

Eimi's flushing progressed to full-on blushing. "You'd really go with me? And couldn't you have stayed with your parents?"

"Of course I'd go with you. Haven't I already? And while my parents would always be willing to house me, and I probably will stay with them sometimes… I've found that staying with friends is enjoyable."

"When did you- Oh. Oh! You mean staying with me is-" Eimi's babbling fizzled into awkward laughter. Although he didn't make much sound, the way Koushiro shook indicated that he was laughing, too.

When she calmed, Eimi angled herself so she was peeking up at him. "Um, when we go to Odaiba, what… What should we tell the others?"

Koushiro stared for a moment before he understood. A slow, crooked grin formed. "Oh! Yes, we should tell them that we're dating."

Adolescent screaming shrieked in her mind, but Eimi settled on squishing her face against Koushiro's shoulder and muffling her giggling. Koushiro patted her back, waiting for her to recover. When she straightened, he said, "Um, would you be willing to meet my parents when we visit Odaiba?"

Eimi swallowed the wrong way and coughed. Koushiro's brow pressed down, and his forehead indented with worry lines. "Pardon me. Is that too much pressure?"

"N-no!" Eimi choked. "I, I just- I know how much you love your parents, so, um- Are you sure it's not too soon?"

Koushiro hesitated, then slowly reached for her face. When she didn't move away, he brushed her cheek with his fingertips. "I'm sure," he said softly. "If you're comfortable with it, then I want my parents to know you."

Eimi could only hope that she didn't look as overwhelmed as she felt. "Um," she squeaked. "Uh, okay. I, um, thank you?"

Koushiro tipped his head. "For what?"

"Oh, um..." It was no good; there was no way Eimi could look into his cute, puzzled face and say this. She stared at Aegis, who was still moving back and forth with his nose to the floor. "You, um... Doesn't that mean you're treating me like family? And you seemed worried about moving too fast…"

Koushiro shifted so that both of his hands encircled hers. Eimi scrounged up her courage and looked at him. His vulnerable, tender expression short-circuited something in her brain, leaving her staring blankly back.

He stroked the top of her hand, and Eimi focused her reeling mind on the contact. His skin was cool and soft, but his gentleness was what struck her. It occurred to her that, before they started dating, Koushiro rarely touched her outside of his caretaker capacity and sitting beside her.

"This is all new," he murmured. "I'll tell you upfront that I'm unsure of my footing. Tell me if I do something that makes you uncomfortable. Please, trust that my intentions are good. Also, any hesitance I have about the pace of our relationship… It's never doubt in you, or in how I feel about you."

Eimi jerked her head in an approximation of a nod. In order to maintain sanity, her gaze had dropped from his eyes to his lips, and she was beginning to discover that watching them curve into consonants and vowels wasn't much less stimulating.

"I love you," he murmured. Eimi smothered a dazed giggle that would likely sound deranged. She couldn't recall where dopamine came from, but she imagined that whatever produced it was dumping it into her bloodstream in truckloads.

"I love my parents, and I love my friends. Isn't that what family is?"

Something about his tone, wistful, almost timid, yanked Eimi back into focus. She met his gaze at last and struggled to decipher the complex emotions in his eyes.

Distantly, she recalled that Koushiro was adopted. It had only come up in passing, a bit of information offered in response to an innocent question that Eimi couldn't recall. "Yes. Yes, it is." She couldn't explain why, but suddenly, Eimi's eyes began to burn. Maybe, because of his adoption, Koushiro was better able to understand her devotion to found family.

Eimi cleared her throat and forced a smile. "Do you think your parents will like me?"

She expected immediate reassurance, and wasn't sure what to think when Koushiro tipped his head and averted his eyes in thought. After a nerve-wracking pause, he said, "Honestly? I think they already do."

Eimi blinked. "Um, because of the photos I've sent?"

"Well, maybe." An awkward smile crossed Koushiro's face. "But mostly... I, uh, might have mentioned you a few times."

Oh my stars. This time, a thin squeal slid free from Eimi's control. "O-oh?"

Color pooled in Koushiro's face and branched outward, like a tree bursting into crimson blossoms. "Um... Ah, but we might not have time to visit them this trip. It sounds like you'll be apartment hunting, and we're spending time with Jyou. And it seems like Taichi-san has a group meeting in mind."

Eimi wanted to press about what Koushiro had told his parents, but the mention of Jyou cut off all other thoughts with painful force. "Oh... Right. We're meeting up with Jyou..."

Koushiro frowned. "Eimi-san? Is something wrong?"

"Oh..." Eimi caught herself squeezing Koushiro's hand. "Um, I just thought... I should tell Jyou that we're, um..."

Tiny lines appeared around Koushiro's mouth and forehead. "That we're dating? I'm sure he'll be pleased. I can't say for certain- he refused to be direct- but he gave me the impression that he hoped we would date."

Their connected hands lurched as Eimi twitched. "W-what?"

"Eimi-san?" His brow puckered in further. "I… don't understand your reaction."

"I... Oh, gosh." Her head seemed to swell with truths she couldn't speak, not without clearance from Jyou. How was she supposed to explain anything to Koushiro without breaking his trust? "Koushiro-kun... I promise that I'm not trying to be shifty. I need to talk to Jyou, and then... I'll explain. Or he will?"

She felt his gaze on her, heavy, confused, concerned. Suddenly, his arms encircled her waist, and he held onto her like a safety line. "Does this have to do with... But that was so long ago- Surely, you don't-"

Eimi was almost afraid to look at him, but what choice did she have? Their eyes met, panic on her end and fear on his. His body shook against hers, and Eimi jerked towards him so hard that they nearly toppled off the couch. "N-no!" she cried, clinging to his arms for balance. "The last time Jyou and I- it was before I met you. Neither of us would hurt you, not for anything."

He stared at her for a long time, expression slowly shifting from pained to calm. He reached for her and ran a hand through her hair. Eimi leaned into his touch, and he exhaled.

"Alright." Gently, Koushiro held her elbow and guided her back into the cushions. "I trust you. Please, talk to Jyou, and then direct him to me."

Eimi stood and nearly fell. Koushiro rose with her, still gripping her elbow. "Easy," he murmured.

She barely registered the near spill. All that mattered was clearing the air, and Eimi thoroughly wished that she had thought of this sooner. But no; the joy of finally, impossibly receiving everything she yearned for had erased all other concerns. Feeling guilty, stupid, and selfish, she muttered, "I, I'll call him now."

Koushiro glanced at his wristwatch. "He's unlikely to answer at this hour."

"He'll return the call when he can." With that, she stumbled out of the living room, clutching her mobile. Aegis' ears perked as she passed, and he followed her into the library. Eimi sank on the sofa there, winded by the walk, a staggering regression in her physical recovery.

She waited until she caught her breath, pulse pounding in her brain. At last, she selected Jyou from her contact list and waited. As Koushiro predicted, the call went to voice mail. A fresh wave of panic hit when the beep announced that she was being recorded.

"Um- H-hi. Jyou? It, it's Eimi." Eimi paused and pressed her eyes shut. Even with so few words, Jyou probably knew her well enough to guess that something was up. "Um, could you call me when you get a chance? I'm fine, I just… need to talk. Um. Good luck at work."

Eimi hung up and fought the urge to fling the mobile as far as she could, like a live explosive ticking in her hand. She plopped, full-body, onto the couch, eyes pinched tight, cell phone still tick-tick-ticking by her head. Her brain still felt swollen, swirling with worries.

After an unknown interval, Koushiro called, "Eimi-san?" She jerked upright, nearly smacking Aegis' nose. She blinked, feeling disoriented and miserable.

Koushiro hovered in the arch that separated the library from the foyer. He offered a tiny smile. "Would you like to watch a movie or play a game?"

"Um?" Eimi rubbed the arm that had been pinned between the rest of her body and the sofa. Koushiro entered the library and sat beside her. He took her hand, and Eimi stared at their interlocked fingers, struggling to absorb the image.

"Aren't you upset?" she whispered, conscious of the tremor in her voice.

"I admit that I'm concerned," Koushiro said. "But I trust both of you, and you clearly want to open lines of communication. I see no reason to wallow. Don't you think it's best to pass the time comfortably while we wait for Jyou?"

Her chin wobbled, and suddenly, the room blurred. From far away, Koushiro murmured, "Eimi-san…" When he placed a hand on her shoulder, she curled into him, hoping for comfort, but unsure if Koushiro would feel up to providing it. When his arms wrapped around her, something in her stirred, rising from paralysis. She buried her face in his shoulder and focused her thoughts on calming down and her senses on Koushiro.

"Thank you," she choked. Koushiro patted her back. Somehow, the awkwardness of the gesture made it all the more comforting.

When she eased away from him, Koushiro gave her a tiny smile. "It will be alright," he said. "Shall we watch that sci-fi movie you mentioned? It sounds interesting."

Eimi tried to respond, but she couldn't seem to find her voice. She nodded, and Koushiro stood, then reached out to help her stand. Dazed, Eimi slipped her hand into his and allowed him to lead her to the media room.

Before long, they were settled on the sofa, huddled together with Aegis curled up nearby. The television screen offered the only light, flashing against Koushiro's face in quickly-changing colors. Eimi watched Koushiro more than the movie, struggling to sort out her thoughts and feelings.

She had always admired Koushiro, and she knew of and treasured his strengths. But lately, he had struggled so much, had needed so much assistance. Even when he helped her with her physical problems, it was possible that she had kept her emotional concerns to herself to spare him while he dealt with his own issues.

Surely, the news that Jyou still loved her would upset Koushiro, and yet… All he needed to remain calm was the knowledge that both she and Jyou cared about him far too much to intentionally hurt him. Everything else was manageable.

Eimi exhaled slowly, removing every bit of air from her lungs, exhaling her worries with it. Then, she settled against Koushiro, maneuvering into a cuddling position. Koushiro worked with her, until they were lying together in a way that allowed them both to see the screen. Eimi rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes.

As she drifted off, she considered that logic and rationality could be just as warm as emotions, at least when paired with kindness, and often much more grounding. She wanted to tell Koushiro that he was so much stronger than he realized, but for now, all she could do was ease into sleep with his heartbeat in her ear.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: They've come so far! Ahhh!

ANYWHO, it's my birthday, and as always, I celebrate by giving my readers words! Yaaay!

AND HOW ABOUT THAT DIGIMON ADVENTURE REBOOT BUSINESS? If you don't know what I'm talking about, check out withthewill on twitter. Man, who knows! I have my fingers crossed that everything turns out well.

In the next chapter, Antiphonal, Jyou and Mimi find out that Koushiro and Eimi are together. Please look forward to it, and please remember to review!