Chapter 26 - I'm King Dad Now, bitch

"So, Redcliffe…." Alistair shifted nervously, looking out at the village that had been his home since as long as he could remember.

"Yeah…"

He looked at Cailan. The fallen king was wistful and quiet, staring up at the old stone castle peeking out just over the tops of the buildings. There was no way to tell what he was thinking, staring up at the castle from so far away; if arriving at their destination and his mother's old home shook him in any way, Alistair couldn't tell. But he waited, and he watched, and he braced himself for Cailan to say something, anything.

Anything at all.

"You're going with Aeducan," he stated, as a matter of fact. No argument. He didn't take his eyes off the castle, but there was a small shift in tone that Alistair clung to. Maybe it meant something-maybe he was finally going to mention the elephant in the room, now that the secret was out. "I wish you the best of luck."

Alistair blinked at him, waiting a solid amount of time for Cailan to say anything else, but… he didn't. "Is that it?"

Now, Cailan looked his way. "Excuse me?"

"I mean, I know things are… uh, weird, but really?" he laughed, shocked he even expected anything more. "You... wish me luck?"

Cailan blinked. "Was I not supposed to say that?"

"N-no..." Alistair shifted awkwardly. "It's just... I'm leaving, the group's splitting up, we may not be able to see one another anytime soon. I figured this would be the last time for us to, uh, maybe... talk."

"Oh." Cailan stared at him, confused. "I didn't realize that was what you wanted."

"Of course!" he exclaimed, but then, on second thought, started backpedalling. "I mean... uh, maybe? U-unless you don't want to?"

"Well, if you want to." Cailan gestured with his hand. "Talk."

"That's not... what I meant..." he swallowed, suddenly finding it hard to look at the king.

"What do you mean, then?"

"I mean-" Alistair raked a hand through his hair. "The... the thing. I mean to talk to you about the thing."

"Right..." Cailan was looking at him expectantly, but his tone was somewhat restless. "The thing."

"Yeah..."

Was Cailan expecting him to say something about it? was Alistair the one supposed to break the ice? Oh no.

"So, uhm..."

Cailan raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm, um." Alistair started sweating. "You being… uhhhhhhhhh..."

This was... not what he wanted.

Like, at all.

"Us..."

"We?" Cailan prompted, waiting for Alistair to spit out some actual words.

He-

He couldn't do this.

Alistair let out a great breath. "You know what? Forget it. Forget I said anything."

"Wait, what?"

Cailan watched, open mouthed as Alistair quickly made his retreat out the room, down the stairs, out the building and as far, far away as he possibly could from their lodgings so he could get some air.

All the while, thinking, how much of a fool he was for even attempting to do anything-to get anything out of that exchange. Because Alistair knew nothing could ever happen. Nothing would happen, as a result of their trip together, other than a painfully short, empty reunion and then never talking to one another for the rest of their lives. Alistair knew better than to expect something, but he did it anyway, and if he had to go through an entire lifetime of never speaking to his half brother it would be what he deserved, because he was a bloody coward who couldn't even say something when presented with the opportunity. He had been right there. Waiting, an Alistair had just-

He had-

Ran away.

Which was exactly the kind of thing someone trying to save Ferelden was supposed to do, right? hah. Run and hide and try to escape uncomfortable conversations. That was hero material, right there. Half blooded royal material.

How would he even be useful as a grey warden if he didn't even have the courage to look Cailan in the eyes?

He was such a useless, good for nothing idiot.

"Alistair, are you alright?"

The moment Cinna's hand patted his shoulder, Alistair rocketed up in the air, heart rate spiking at a mile a minute. He turned around, crimson in the face and slightly deranged, and staring uncomprehendingly at the mage before him. scratch that, blood mage, because life was full of all sorts of little surprises.

"I-i'm f-fi-" He choked, suddenly finding it very hard to speak. Alistair sharply turned his head away from her and tried to will her away with his mind. Just leave. Just leave him to be alone, it was all what he wanted in life. "Wh-what... are y-you, urgh-" He cleared his throat heavily. "What are you doing here?"

"I saw you leaving," she frowned, and a little part of his heart sank, holding onto some slim hope that Cailan had sent her to go after him, like he cared. Like Alistair deserved that much after that display he just put on. "Duran was looking for you... I know you're supposed to leave soon, right?"

Alisatir swallowed the lump in his throat, looking down at his feet. "Yeah. Brecilian forest… can't wait."

"Yeah..." There was another pregnant pause and, for the life of him, Alistair wanted to close his eyes and fall back onto the ground and die right then and there, because he just didn't want to deal with any more of this- but then Cinna drew in a sharp breath, and looked up at him. "I'm gonna miss you while you're gone."

"Wh-what?" Alistair blinked at her.

"I'm going to miss you," she repeated, with emphasis, and the lump in Alistair's throat got worse. "Do you have any idea how boring it's going to be here while you and Duran are gone doing warden business?"

"I... no?" He hadn't thought of that.

She smiled up at him, eyes crinkling. "I know squeezing into one little wagon was cozy and all-"

He shuddered. "It wasn't."

"-but I'm actually gonna miss it. Kinda." She wrinkled her nose, and the memory of all of them desperately trying to sleep while it rain came to mind. Duran's sleep-kicking Cinna in the back. Cinna, drooling as much as it rained outside. Yeah... Alistair was going to miss it too. Cinna punched him in the arm. "You make sure to look out for each other while you're on your own, okay? and pack something other than bread, because you will get sick of it eventually."

Alistair smirked at her. "I think that might just be you."

"I have no idea how you've been surviving this entire time," she said, and quickly pulled him into an all-encompassing bear hug. Alistair was at a loss for words for a second, before her hand came up and mussed up all of his hair.

"Hey!" he squired, pulling back. Cinna laughed at the look on his face as he tried to smush it back into place, but she had thoroughly ruined it. "That was dirty."

"Sorry! couldn't help it," she laughed, as another set of footsteps approached.

Duran was slightly out of breath and he looked like he had run across town to find them as he bent over to try and catch his breath. "Y-you got him! g-good."

Cinna patted the dwarf's back sympathetically and waited until he was coherent enough to respond. "You just finish packing?"

He nodded, still breathless. "Yup. Got everything we need and anything else we could afford. It'll be much faster with just the four of us."

"Five, counting Barkspawn" Alistair siad, smiling slightly. "I might actually manage to survive Morrigan's wrath if the dog is there to save me."

"I'm going to worry anyway," Cinna confessed, wringing her hands together. She looked back up at alistair and pursed her lips. "I... also... maybe overheard you talking with Cailan."

Alistair drew in a breath. Oh, here we go... "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Seriously? But-" something on his face must've changed her mind, because she closed her mouth and stopped whatever she was going to say next, and let it drop. "Fine. but i'm going to kick his ass the moment you leave."

Duran let out a surprised snort. "Are you for real?"

"Yes? what makes you think I wouldn't?" she turned back to Alistair. "You deserve better, Alistair. Shut your mouth for one second I'm not arguing about this- you do. deserve better, I mean. You didn't deserve to get outed like that, and I'm sorry for it happening the way it did... but maybe some good will come out of it in the end after I forcibly badger Cailan into being a better person."

Alistair spluttered for a moment, face red and blotchy. "Y-you don't have to do that."

"That's what friends are for," she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Makes enough sense," Duran nodded, looking up at them both. "How is it this group's managed to snag so many relatives of powerful people?"

"Don't look at me, I come from as lowley a family as it gets," Cinna said.

"At least you get to know them," Alistair muttered.

"That's not always a good thing," Duran murmured, glancing off to the side. "I'm not exactly on the surface because my family wanted me here." he paused. "Or, uh, I guess they did, in a way."

"OH, right- I'm sorry," Alistair said quickly.

Cinna raised an eyebrow at him. "What happened?"

"Sibling ... rivalry… you know how the old story goes," he said evasively, shrugging it off. "The important thing is that you know who your friends are."

Alistair's mought tugged into a little smile. "Yeah, I guess so."

"I've missed my family every day ever since I joined the grey wardens," Cinna started, tugging on her braid. She looked up and stared at them both, brows knit. "I'm going to miss you both like crazy until you come back. Like, if I end up running through the streets banging pots and pans together just to feel alive, don't say I never told you. You're going to be fine, in the woods, with the elves, like super great amazing fine, and it's going to be a piece of cake, but like, don't go doing anything reckless, okay?"

Duran raised an eyebrow at her. "Us? Do something reckless? Never."

"Yeah you must be confused for some other rash, impulsive warden who does things without thinking about the consequences," Alistair said, squinting at her. "It's crazy, you look just like her."

"I promised I'd be on my best behavior, didn't i?" She asked, crossing her fingers behind her back. "Scouts honor."

"I don't know what that means," he said.

"Would I ever lie to you?"

Alistair rubbed his temples. "I'm thinking... yes. Yes you would."

Duran gave her a very long, unamused stare, being the right height to see what she did with her hands, but he shook it off a moment later as they began walking back. "Right... well, if that's all, we still need to vote on what we're going to divvy up when we get going soon."

"PLEASE pack more than just bread," Cinna groaned, following after him, Alistair by her side. "You're going to regret it."

Alistair shook his head. The heaviness in his chest felt… a bit lighter. Distracted by their banter. "Is this more of your science who-doo, because I just don't see the problem here."

"It's called the food pyramid and if you come back with scurvy I'm going to hit you over the head with a radish." She huffed. "I knew I would end up worrying about you eventually..."

"D'awww..." Alistair slung an arm over her shoulder and tugged on her braid before she could shrug him off. "I wuv you too, mom."

In the end, they walked like that for a while, and she mumbled under her breath, too quiet for either of them to hear, "ᵢ ₗₒᵥₑ ᵧₒᵤ ₜₒₒ..."

Alistair glanced down at her, and raised a hand up to his ear. "What was that?"

She jamed her fingers into his side and made him shriek. "I SAID GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR STUPID MISSION! GOSH!"

"OKAY!" He said, and scrambled over to Duran's side before she could jab him again.

Cinna huffed and tucked a loose strand of hair back into her braid, (not that it would make much of a difference anyway). Alistair smirked as she waved them off, thankful at least, even if he wasn't the greatest, bravest, or best with words… he had good friends, and good people standing by to support him.

For him, it was enough, and still more than he could ever hope for.

X

When Cinna stepped back inside the suite, Cailan was sitting in the same chair as he had before, with his head in his hands, muttering incoherently to himself. He didn't hear her approach, but when she cleared her throat and leaned up against the wall beside him, he struck her with a world-weary expression. It was pretty pathetic, actually.

"I messed up."

Cinna looked down and picked at her nails. "Yeah... I picked that up, buddy."

"What- you're not going to say anything? call me names? Why are you just…" He reached over and slapped her hands apart so she wasn't passive-aggressively toying with them. "Stop that! Tell me what to do."

"I don't know, Cailan, what do you think I should tell you do?" She said impassively.

"I asked you first," he shot back.

"I asked you second."

"Well, I-" He ground his teeth together. "I order you, as king, to council me."

Cinna stared at him for a long, hard moment, and tried not to burst into laughter. "Dude, seriously?"

"I could be talking to Duncan about this right now. You should be grateful," he huffed. "It's not like I'm asking for the world here."

"Yeah, but I don't appreciate your tone." She made a face at him.

Cailan gave her a deadpan stare. "If I said please, would you help me?"

She looked back down at her nails. "Perhaps..."

"Pleaaaaaase," he whined.

"Okay so here's the thing," she said immediately, quickly sitting down next to him. "You need to actually address the elephant in the room if you want to talk about it. Just admit that Alistair is your little brother. Come on, say it out loud, right now. You have a brother and his name is Alistair Zefron Theirin."

"I have a-" Cailan scowled at her. "That's not his middle name."

"Do you know? like, for sure? I didn't realize you two had gotten on a full name basis yet," she snarked.

"Okay maybe I deserved that," he admitted, looking off to the side. "If only I could've gotten up and stopped him from leaving… "

Cinna made a series of wide, vague hand gestures with her hands. "So...? We can't change that right now, but you know what we can change? That mental block you've got going that's messing up your personal relationships with a certain half brother of yours. Admit who he is to you, chicken!"

Cailan swallowed, indignation coloring his face with the name-calling. "I... have... a brother..."

"YES...?"

"Named..." Cailan covered his face with his hands. "A-Alistair..."

Cinna punched him in the arm, earning a pitiful wince from the king. "Alistair what?"

"Alistair Zefron Theirin!" he whined, rubbing his shoulder. "Did you really have to hit me?!"

"I absolutely had to hit you," she said, nodding sagely. "How do you feel?"

"Sore."

"Even better." And then she socked him in the arm again (lovingly). "Channel that. Understand how your sweet baby brother zefron felt."

"I'm starting to think I should've asked Duncan!" He cried, squirming in his seat so she wouldn't hit him in the arm again.

Cinna leaned forward and gripped both sides of his chair, staring Cailan dead in the eyes. "What does Duncan know about having a sibling? I'm demonstrating to you exactly what a healthy sibling relationship is like."

Cailan scoffed weakly, looking everywhere then her intent, probing gaze. "By abusing me?"

"By teaching you a lesson." She reached over and poked his nose until he knocked her hand away. "You don't have a third secret sibling to make things right so I'm stepping in to help you. When someone steps out of line and feelings get hurt, it's up to the other person to make it up to them, or suffer the consequences." She gently yanked on a piece of blonde hair and stuck her tongue out at him when he glared at her. "Whenever me and my sister got into fights we either had to make up quick or our dad would ground us. And that was always so much worse than whatever we were fighting over."

Cailan stared at her for a moment, exasperated. "That sounds great, but my father's been lost at sea for years, so you'll have to forgive me if I'm not familiar with the concept."

"Ah." Cinna froze. "Thats... unfortunate."

"Yeah," He muttered, sullenly crossing his arms over his chest.

"So I guess... I'll be your dad... until you and Alistair finally mend bridges," she said, with growing confidence. "Yeah!"

"Wh-what?!" Cailan gasped at her. "That's not at all what I wanted!"

"Tough break, son. Looks like I'm your father now." She put both hands on her hips and swiftly stood up, facing him. There was a great moment where Cinna stroked an imaginary beard and tossed her kingly locks over her shoulder, before she shot him with a dazzling expression, filled with all the righteous, glorious authority that she was sure king Maric had once upon a time (before he got on a ship and disappeared under mysterious circumstances and everything…)

"My beautiful, stupid son, who I cherish dearly, is that you? You're grounded, for brother crimes, by order of the king!"

Cailan strained in his chair, scandalized and looking like he wanted to leap at her. "You can't do that!"

"Tough titties it looks like I just did," she said in a deep, regal dad voice, dancing away from him as he tried to toss a something at her from the table. A rolled up napkin. "You're grounded until I say so and them's the rules."

"I'm a king! There's no way!"

"As king-dad--" she began, placing a hand on her chest. Cailan tossed the next thing closes to him, and ended up hucking a wooden cup at her head.

His eyes went wide the moment it made contact and she fell backwards. "Maker's breath-are you okay?"

As second later, Cinna wiped the cider from her eyes and stuck a thumb up in the air. She stumbled back to her feed, and, with her sopping wet kingly locks and her imaginary beard, gave him another dadly look. "You're double grounded now."

Cailan's expression wilted. "...for how long?"

"To Infinity and beyond."

"Greaaaat." Cailan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "That's just what I needed. Thank you, so much, Cinna. This conversation's really helped."

Cinna nodded, and in her dad voice, said, "You're welcome."

He tossed another napkin at her, but he was smiling now. "Stop talking like that!"

Cinna stroked her imaginary beard again and dodged the next thing thrown her way. "Neverrr!"