There's a lot going on in Nagisa's life all at once.
As usual, he's mostly concerned with the kids: making sure they're doing okay. The start of a new trimester is always hard, especially with the grades from finals rolling in. To destress, he lets them participate in assassination a little more than usual. They can't go outside much, considering the weather, but there's a spare classroom from the Kunugigaoka years he clears out to give them some room.
For the most part, they actually seem to be doing pretty well. Spirits are high, and even if he'd ended up feeling a little embarrassed about how little the kids took his 'class election' seriously, it does seem to have gotten their minds off of the more serious things. Friend groups are thriving, and when he brings hot cocoa in for the whole class, there's a smile on every face.
...Almost.
More than anything, he's worried about Kiyoshi.
He's not entirely sure what's going on. But alarm bells have been ringing in his head ever since Kiyoshi first asked to have his seat moved. He seems… quieter lately... close to tears. But when Nagisa tries to coax anything out of him; remind him he has someone to talk to, he clams up completely.
His friends ask why he'd been moved, of course. Nagisa shrugs and says something about how the boy he'd swapped with had been feeling a little lonely at his spot. It's a piss poor lie, considering the back corner of the classroom is pretty much the loneliest spot on the planet, but they aren't about to question him. He says he hopes they don't mind too much.
"No. Of course not," Makoto says. "We can still hang out with him."
...He doesn't let them. He arrives at school late and heads home early. He doesn't come over on the weekends anymore... says he feels sick. And although his friends hate to doubt him, Nagisa can tell they're starting to get worried, too.
He's displaying some pretty textbook symptoms of serious depression. Nagisa wonders if it has to do with his family. Karasuma let the twenty-eight of them know that Irina was heading overseas again. Is Kiyoshi anxious? He's always struck Nagisa as uncomfortable with his parents' absence, (How could he NOT be?) but this is a new sort of unhappy. He seems downright tortured.
Nagisa hates the way he dodges questions. Why can't he see he just wants to help? But the more he pushes, the more Kiyoshi closes himself off. And not wanting to overstep a line, he relents. He knows it's hard… struggling with your family. And the worst thing is when an adult won't let up about your issues. There's no forcing him. All he can do is let Kiyoshi know he's there for him. If he trusts him, he'll come to him when he's ready.
In the meantime, he makes a mental note. Tells himself that he should call up Karasuma and arrange a meeting if the behavior continues. There's some things only Kiyoshi's parents will be able to fix. He loves his students, but there's no replacing their family. If Kiyoshi's still seriously worrying him in two weeks, they're gonna need to have a joint check-in on his mental health.
Because… sure, he's always struggled. But this is… this is new.
Nagisa spends hours searching for a counselor. It's hard work. Typically, a teacher is expected to do those sorts of things... deal with their students' mental health, that is. No counselor wants to work at some backwater school. Not to mention he wants to meet anyone in person and screen them pretty extensively before letting them work with his kids, which… tends to be another turnoff.
Scouring the net he manages to find one or two potential hirees. But one lives all the way over in Nishitokyo, and the other can't meet for at least a month. He talks to the latter over phone, and gets a pretty decent impression. But he'd like to see her face to face. And more importantly, he'd like to know that this busy schedule is a temporary thing. If she's getting the job, he wants his kids to be the top priority.
...His pride's still wounded, just a little bit. That Fumiko even thought he needed this help. He knows she hadn't meant anything by it, but is there really anything these people can do that he can't?
"Of course there is," Karma says with a scoff. "You're damn good at your job, but you don't exactly have a psych degree."
"Maybe I should," Nagisa admits. "Get one, I mean."
"No. You shouldn't," Karma says with a yawn. "You're stressed out enough as is." He reaches over to pinch Nagisa's cheek. "The last thing you need is more college on top of all that."
Nagisa pouts. He's not- He doesn't - He doesn't feel nearly as stressed as people keep implying he is. He's fine. He's good! He's great, even! And so what is with that?
"You don't need to do everything alone, anyways," Kayano tacks on. "There's nothing wrong with needing help. We're a team after all, aren't we?"
"I know," Nagisa relents, groaning. "It just feels like… I don't know- I'm not doing enough."
"You're doing more than enough," Karma and Kayano seem to say at once. "Too much, really!" Kayano huffs.
"Why don't you let yourself chill for once?" Karma asks.
Why can't he chill? Why can't he chill!? Because Kiyoshi- who's practically family- who he should know better than anyone is on the verge of a mental break and he has no idea how to help! Because Fumiko thinks he's not doing his job well enough! Because there's still so much more he wants to do!
...He's not stressed, though. Reminder: This is not stress. This will never be stress. This is diligence. This is thoughtfulness. He's doing his job. He's doing his job well. He's fine! And he is the opposite of stressed.
"I still think you should consider employing more teachers," Gakushuu interjects. "...While you're looking for help - screening people and such, I don't think it would take that much more time out of your already inane schedule to search for potential hirees."
"I've already said I don't really want t-"
"Yes. I know. You don't want to break your bond with them. But you're working yourself to exhaustion. Even if you won't consider becoming a single subject teacher like the rest of Japan, you should at the very least enroll teachers for eighth and ninth grade."
"I like teaching them for the three years."
"Until you start beating on yourself for all the kids you can't manage to enroll. Please just say you'll consider it. For me."
"For us," Kayano tacks on. "We're all worried about you. And besides… it's not like you'd have to stop teaching them. Maybe… all of you could teach a single class over a three year period! Just in the same building! It's not perfect, but… it'd solve some of your enrollment issues!"
Admittedly, it's not a terrible idea. An environment for teachers with the same ideals as him would be nice. But how could he be completely certain he could trust these people? His school is pretty much exclusively for vulnerable kids. He'd hate to give people who'd exploit those vulnerabilities any power.
Besides, does he really even have permission to expand the building? That'd require some massive reconstruction. And although he doesn't completely mind the idea, it's also not his decision to make. He may teach there, but all of the E-Class owns the building. He'd have to ask for their permission before he went making any crazy changes.
Nevertheless, he says he'll consider it. And he means it. He may not feel particularly stressed, but he hates to make his family worry about him. And who knows? Maybe… there really are other teachers like him out there. It's… worth considering.
After this school year is over, of course. He'd hate to spring any sudden changes on the kids in the middle of the trimester.
Kayano kisses his nose. Tells him she's proud of him. He's a little embarrassed to be praised for the bare minimum, but all the same, his face flushes pink when she pulls him in close.
He'll ask the rest of the E-Class about it during the class reunion. They hold one once a year. (On March thirteenth, of course.) It mostly just started as an excuse to keep the building upkept while it wasn't in use… cleaning and such, but after Nagisa took residence teaching there, it's become something of a party.
They do different things every year. Once they hosted a massive game of capture the flag. Another time, Ritsu set up goddamn laser tag. And on one particularly sweltering March day they'd even thrown a pool party in the lake out back. It's a good time... to get together and reminisce. Not everyone can always make it with work and life, and such, but they try their best. They'd hate to let this thing they have fall apart.
...God. Which reminds him: he still needs to get in contact with Megu and Isogai about what they're doing this year. It's early January, and they still haven't formulated a plan. If they ever want to be on top of things, as chief party planners, the ex-class-reps, and the guy who occupies the building, then they should meet up to discuss things soon.
He shoots them a text the next day. Asks if they're free to meet up sometime soon. It takes a bit of scrambling, but they figure out they should all be free two Thursdays from now. They briefly discuss the idea of chatting over dinner, but Isogai reminds the two of them he does have a baby girl at home. As much as he'd appreciate the break, he's not one to shirk his responsibilities. And besides, he'd hate to saddle Maehara with all of that.
Isogai's place it is, then! Works for them. It wouldn't be the first time they've met up there. It's a reasonable distance from both of their houses, and it's a nice cozy little place. Besides, there is a baby on the property they need to smother in affection.
"You three wanna come with?" Nagisa asks. "When I head out for party planning, I mean."
"I wish," Kayano says with a laugh. "Busy shoot next Thursday. We're finishing up things on Stray God 2: Fridge Horror. Say hi to Naoko for me, though."
"Will do," Nagisa notes.
"Oh man. I wonder how big she is by now. We haven't seen her since they adopted her, yeah?" Karma asks.
"Mmm," Nagisa confirms. "In April. Or was it March?" He squints. "...If it was March, it was definitely late March. She hadn't factored into planning last year."
"I think it was March, you're right," Kayano says. "They announced it at that reunion, remember?"
Oh. Yeah. That's right. It had been exciting news. It seems like so many of the E-Class are settling down and starting families by now. Of course, it's not for everyone. Terasaka and Itona have admitted they think they'd hate having kids, but other families beg to differ. Sugino and Kanzaki are looking into adopting, too. And how old is Chiba and Hayami's eldest now? Ten? Or is it eleven?
Good lord! Before Nagisa even knows it, he'll be teaching him, won't he?
...Crazy to think that everyone's really all grown up.
"I'd love to consider your offer. Isogai is wonderful company," Gakushuu says. "But admittedly I don't think I'm the best resource for planning an 'E-Class Reunion."
"Yeah, right," Karma says. "You'd probably sabotage it."
"Damn right I would." Gakushuu scoffs. "How about we scratch party hats and try dunce caps instead?"
"Okay, so you're officially uninvited," Nagisa declares. "Karma?"
"Nah. As much as I'd like to sabotage it as well, last time I tagged along most of my ideas were rejected for being 'inappropriate' and 'violating basic safety rules.' I think a fight club on the roof would have been just fine. But the serious squad over there wasn't interested in hearing me out."
"Okay, okay," Nagisa says. "I'll count you out, too, you menace."
Karma pouts, sticking his tongue out. But it's hard to miss the sparkle in his eyes.
Nagisa marks off next Thursday in his planner. Right next to finishing up his lesson plan for the next science unit and going out to grab supplies. It's beginning to look like a bit of a cluttered mess, but Kiyoshi was right about it being helpful.
He stays up late at night, asking the E-Class if they have any suggestions for the reunion. Mulling over how he wants to go about 'this' or 'that' in class. He flips through phone books and scrolls down directories, marking off counselors to call in the morning. And he keeps a careful eye on Kiyoshi, thinking about him more and more as he ceases showing up at their house.
...It's a Friday when he collapses.
He feels a little weird that morning, but it's nothing out of the ordinary. He gets dressed, straightens his tie, and says goodbye to his spouses on the way out the door. He arrives at school just before seven, and starts the day with a lesson on math. He runs assassination in the backroom, and is maybe halfway through third period when he begins to feel lightheaded.
At first, he tries to ignore it. It wouldn't be the first time in the past few weeks he's felt dizzy. But when he steps back to continue teaching and feels a rush of vertigo, he wonders if something is more seriously wrong. Remembering Karma's cautious words, he bites his lip and begins to make his way over towards his desk. He doesn't stop talking. He'd hate to worry the kids. A smile still planted firmly on his face, he attempts to cross the room and ignore the heartbeat pounding in his ears. He's sure he's fine. He'll feel better once he sits down.
...He makes it maybe three-fourths of the way there.
Midstep, his vision floods to black. And before he can manage to comment - opening his mouth to speak - he feels his consciousness go with it.
Kiyoshi screams when Nagisa passes out.
It's sudden - and out of the blue. One moment he's on his feet, and the next he crumples, collapsing to the floor. There's a bang as he smacks his head on the desk and the sound of chairs scraping as his classmates rush to stand.
Thankfully for Kiyoshi, no-one seems to notice his outburst amidst the chaos. They're far too focused on Nagisa's state.
"Is he alive!?" one classmate asks, to which another smacks him upside the head.
"Of course he's alive!" they hiss.
"Then why'd he pass out!?"
"Maybe he had a heart attack!" Minki suggests.
"Oh God!"
"No - I - uh… don't think so-" Kiyoshi interjects. Or at least... tries to. His voice is a whisper amidst the shouting, and he feels a little lightheaded himself. His hands are shaking like hell. "A heart attack's symptoms wouldn't display like that. There should have been signs before he-"
"A stroke, then!"
"Ah- I don't-"
"Heatstroke!" Another classmate suggests, only to be met with a chorus of:
"IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER!?"
The volume is only growing. And a lump rises in Kiyoshi's throat as each new suggestion is pitched. His knees are trembling and it takes all his effort to just not to cry. What if… what if something is seriously wrong with Nagisa? What if… what if they lose him?
(What if… what if this has to do with hi-)
No. Now's not the time. Focus. Focus!
"Someone check his damn pulse already!" Aina demands. "How long has he been out for!?"
"Uh! T-ten seconds, maybe!?" Chiharu pipes up. "Fifteen? I don't know-!"
Makoto's already on his feet. Rushing across the classroom, he hauls Nagisa up by the shoulders and preps him against the desk. There's a streak of blood running down his forehead. But Makoto wastes no time, jabbing at his throat and attempting to find a pulse.
"Let me do that!" Minako hisses, slapping his hand out of the way. "You're gonna fucking choke him out at this rate!"
"Has… has someone called 119 yet?" Terumi asks. "I really think we should-"
"He has to go to the hospital!?" Chiharu shrieks, his voice drenched in terror.
"Maybe! Look! He's bleeding!"
"He just hit his head!"
"That's a bad thing!"
"On it!" Fumiko says, whipping out her phone.
"His… his pulse is fine!" Minako declares. "...Or… at least, he has one? I dunno! It's fast I think. Let me count. W… what is it? Ten seconds then triple that?"
"Six seconds then decuple it, dumbass!" Rikuto hisses.
"D-decuple!?"
"Oh God, what if he dies because we didn't pay enough attention in math class!?" Rosey wails.
A crowd is gathering around Nagisa. It's hard to see through the sea of people, but even then Kiyoshi can spot the way tears stream down Makoto's cheeks. Hiccuping softly, he holds him tight and begs "Please be okay…"
...Kiyoshi doesn't find it in himself to stand and join the crowd.
"The ambulance is on its way!" Fumiko shouts. "The- the firemen said it should be five minutes!"
She's not crying. Not like Makoto. But from the way her voice quivers, Kiyoshi can tell she's close to a complete breakdown as well.
"Five minutes!?" Chiharu cries. "That's too long! How will it get up the mountain!? W-what if he-?"
"He won't!" Makoto interrupts, voice a sniffle. "He's fine. He's fine. He's gonna be fine-"
...But he doesn't sound so certain.
The ambulance is still blocks away, but Kiyoshi swears he already hears sirens going off in his mind.
Minako's mid-sentence when the crowd steps back and gasps. Something about his heart rate being 110. But he trickles off halfway through his words. Eyes wide, he asks "Shiota-sensei!?"
"Are you okay!?" Kiku demands. "You… you fell really hard!"
"Nagisa!" Makoto cries, his voice a sob.
"Is he up!? I can't see! I can't see!" Minki hisses, trying to peer over the crowd.
And neither can Kiyoshi. But as the crowd begins to disperse, and he hears Nagisa's quiet voice, the view becomes more clear. And with it, the ringing in his ears begins to subside. He clings tight to his desk, a knot still in his stomach as he watches cautiously.
"...A… ah…-" Nagisa says, sitting up. "I'm… I'm fine. I must have just… misstepped." He says it so nonchalantly, but his voice sounds dazed.
"M-misstepped!?" Yoshito sputters from halfway across the classroom. "You damn well passed out! What the hell are you on about!?"
"Are you sick?" Rosey whimpers, leaning in close. "If… if you're not okay…-"
"Do you feel a cold sweat?" Misaki demands, her voice stern. "Shortness of breath? Indigestion? What about abdominal pain?"
"No. No-" Nagisa reassures, straightening himself up. Makoto is still clinging to his side like a koala bear. "I'm fine. I feel… fine. I'm sure it's nothing serious. Please don't panic." He breathes out through his nose, wiping at his forehead with the back of his wrist. Emiko hurries to her feet, passing him a tissue, then ten.
...Thankfully, the scrape doesn't seem that deep. He probably just banged himself up. It's the sudden unconsciousness that worries Kiyoshi more than anything.
"D…don't panic?" Kanon asks. "We're already scared out of our minds, Shiota-sensei."
"We didn't know what to do!"
"You were out for thirty seconds!"
"We thought you were going to die!"
The classroom is a chorus of upset shouts and angry whispers. Wiping his face on Nagisa's shirt, Makoto whimpers. Fumiko anxiously glances at her phone.
"It's you who shouldn't be panicking," she comments. "Don't worry, Shiota-sensei. The ambulance is on its way. I called 119 whi-"
"The ambulance!?" Nagisa sputters.
"Yes, the ambulance!" Fumiko responds, undeterred. "We had no idea what was going on! We still don't!"
"I really don't need an ambul-"
"We're not taking no for an answer," Fumiko interrupts. "You can say you're fine all you want, but you have no idea what's going on, either, and none of us will until a doctor arrives. Shut up, shut your mouth, and cease acting like a buffoon. Otherwise I'm texting your spouses and telling them you're ignoring a medical emergency."
Kiyoshi's jaw drops. Is this really…? How could…? Oh my god! The more he learns about Aguri, the more fucking insane it is to hear things like that out of Fumiko's mouth.
Nagisa sputters gently, staring at her with these wide eyes. But Fumiko doesn't hesitate, whipping out her phone and giving Nagisa an unamused look.
Her hand's trembling ever-so-slightly. Kiyoshi's not sure if anyone else notices the way it shakes as she taps the screen, but he does. And he decides that no matter how tough she acts, she's still the same all-too-caring person she's always been.
...There's another knot in his stomach.
At first, Nagisa seems to think she's bluffing. But as she brings her phone to her ear, he jolts and hisses "Hey! No! Don't make them panic!"
Fumiko's gaze is unwavering. She tsks gently. There's a faint ringing on the other end of the phone. She doesn't need to speak. Her unimpressed look says it all.
"Okay! Okay! I'll go! Don't tell them that! Please don't tell them that! I'll cooperate and go to the hospital! Anything you say! Just don't freak out my family!"
He looks strangely pathetic for a grownass man. It turns out all it takes to shatter his stubborn demeanor is the mere threat of a chewing out by his spouses. He's staring at Fumiko with desperate, panicked eyes. Although on second thought Kiyoshi's not sure how much of that is normal behavior for him and how much of that is the concussion speaking.
"Very well then," Fumiko says, lowering her hand. "That said, however, I'll still be texting them and informing them of what's happened. They deserve to know. I'm sure they'll be relieved I managed to get you to cooperate."
Nagisa opens his mouth, as if to argue, but quickly falls back. "...Fair enough," he admits. "Please just emphasize that I'm okay. That this is a scare: Nothing more. They don't need to scramble home from work."
"I'll tell them what's occurred and nothing more. They can conclude on their own whether or not it's a serious matter. Then, they can come to a decision on whether they want to dip out of work to check on you or not. I have a feeling I already know what their answer will be, but I'm not going to put any words in their mouth."
Nagisa simply pouts. It must be frustrating. To know she's so right. But Nagisa's big enough to at least admit that. Dabbing gently at his forehead with a tissue, he sits in silence and waits for the ambulance to arrive.
Fumiko texts his family. The class murmurs softly, and Makoto remains glued to his side. Kiyoshi keeps his distance, knowing there's nothing he can do here. Knowing he'll probably make it worse. And in due time they receive the notification that the ambulance has arrived. Now all they need to do is make the trek down the mountain.
"Do you feel able to stand?" Kanon asks. "I'm sure one of us can carry you-"
Nagisa's face pales in an instant. "There's really no need for-"
And Chiharu's hand shoots in the air. "I can definitely carry you!"
"No. No-one needs to carry me!" Nagisa insists. Gentle of a giant as Chiharu may be, something tells Kiyoshi Nagisa wouldn't saddle any of his students with the burden of carrying him down the mountain if his life depended on it . Slowly pushing himself up onto his feet, he balances himself against the desk and takes a careful step towards the door.
The class is quick to crowd around him. Leaning against him for support and holding his hand, they usher him across the classroom. And he turns his head, looking back at the room.
"Everyone come with," he says. "School will… be dismissed because of this. I'm sorry I don't have a substitute in waiting, but-"
"No," Fumiko insists. "It's fine. We'll survive."
"I'll be back by Monday. I swear. And I'll make sure to get you caught up on everything we misse-"
"That's hardly the most of our concerns right now," Minako butts in. "Just get some rest. We can worry about all that when it comes."
Nagisa relents. And the rest of the class stands to follow him, Kiyoshi included. To be completely truthful he just wants to sit down staring at the wall for the next few hours, but he knows that's not an option. Instead, trailing behind the rest of the class, he follows them down the mountain and tries to ignore the expanding hole in his chest.
He may not have been the one to have a medical emergency, but it sure goddamn feels like it.
Nagisa tries to give everyone a hug before he goes, but the paramedics aren't having it. Instead, he simply has to settle for telling everyone he loves them and that he swears he'll be fine. Then, with one final exhausted look, the doors are closed on him, and the ambulance vanishes, taking their teacher with it.
No-one moves. All is still. Surely, each of them knows that they have permission to go now. But no-one dares. Not with what just happened. It would just feel so weird… so wrong to just go home.
Terumi is the first to speak.
"...Do you think he's really going to be okay?"
"I don't know," Emiko says. "I don't know."
Makoto's still crying. Fumiko's hand is on his shoulder, gently squeezing it. He looks like he wants to bury his face in her chest, but he doesn't dare. Instead, he simply whimpers, murmuring, "I should have done something. I should have known something was wrong. Karma told me he was worried. Why didn't I do anything? What if he's not okay?"
"He will be," Fumiko says, but she doesn't sound so certain. Lip trembling, she fights back tears.
But by the time her eyes drift Kiyoshi's way, he's already gone.
He knows they probably need him right now. Need some reassurance or kind words. But he's not sure what to say. He's not sure what to do. If anything, he's convinced that this is his fault. Reasonably, he knows it's not- That Nagisa hasn't taken good care of himself for a very long time. But even so, he wonders if it was somehow fate for him to see this today.
...If this is just the beginning.
If maybe… since he doesn't quite care for himself, that this is his punishment. Destined to see his loved ones fall apart.
(Having them taken away. Just like he'd taken so much from so many.)
...He doesn't know. It's stupid. It sounds stupid. But he just can't shake the thought.
Either way, he can't bear to look at this for a minute longer. And like the selfish creature he is, he turns his back on the pain. Turns his back on the hurt and on his friends. They don't need him right now. And they never will. He's already decided that. All he'd do right now is make this worse.
They have each other. He's sure… he's sure they'll be fine.
But hearing Makoto cry in the distance... remembering the sirens in his mind, he's not so sure about that, either.
And with an empty feeling in his chest - he hopes - prays to whatever's out there… prays to whatever did this to him that it please doesn't hurt Nagisa. Because he… he deserves this. He knows that. But the people he loves… they never have, and they never will.
[1/13/2031 10:32 AM:] [Fumiko] There was an incident at the school.
[1/13/2031 10:32 AM:] [Fumiko] Nagisa collapsed.
[1/13/2031 10:33 AM:] [Kayano] What!?
[1/13/2031 10:33 AM:] [Fumiko] He says he's okay, but I'm not certain. He was shaking like hell. May have a mild concussion. He was admitted to the hospital.
[1/13/2031 10:33 AM:] [Fumiko] I wanted to make sure you knew. Please tell your family.
[1/13/2031 10:34 AM:] [Kayano] Of course.
[1/13/2031 10:40 AM:] [Kayano] We're on our way.
[Fumiko is typing…]
Nagisa manages to get himself checked in without much issue, all the while insisting he's pretty much fine and that he's really sorry about taking up the doctors' time. He had a fainting spell in class and spooked his students, that's all. Surely they get it, right?
Oh, they get it, alright. From the expression on the poor lady behind the desk's face, something tells Nagisa she's heard this same self-apologetic spiel a thousand times now. Nevertheless, barely masking her disbelief, she insists that it's fine and that he has nothing to worry about.
"Even a brief fainting spell is worth looking into. We'll-"
"Of course. I just. Wonder if it maybe wasn't worth using the ambulance for? I apologize if I shouldn't have used the ambulance. My kids had just already called by the time I-"
"It's fine," the receptionist interjects. "The doctors wi-"
"And you're sure about that?"
"...Yes, sir. I'm sure. We have plenty of them. Now get to your room. The doctors will give you a routine checkup."
Nagisa apologizes again for being so on edge. Jeez, maybe this is getting to him. He doesn't usually get this antsy. Nevertheless, the doctors are very patient with him, and he's checked into his room in no time.
They clean the wound on his head and take his blood pressure. Listen to his heart rate, and just in case stick him with the IV. When asked to describe any pain he's in, he admits that he feels mostly fine. He has a slight headache, and has been a little dizzy, but nothing more.
The good news is it seems he hasn't had a heart attack, stroke, or anything of the sort. The bad news is the disappointed look the doctor gives him when he tells him he likely passed out from exhaustion is insurmountably judgemental.
"Have you been resting regularly lately? Eating well? Your blood pressure is low, and your heart rate is concerningly fast."
Nagisa hisses in through his teeth, averting his gaze. Well shit, man. He's not gonna lie to a doctor. But it still hurts to admit.
"...Mayyybeeee I've slipped up just a little."
His spouses seem to agree.
His phone is pretty much instantly bombarded with texts. And despite his desperate insistence that it's not an emergency, they're on their way before he can even beg them not to be.
Karma shows up first, tossing the door aside as he marches into the room. He rushes over, and before giving an, "Are you okay?" or even a, "So how was your day?" he demands, "What the fuck were you thinking!?"
Nagisa flinches slightly, refusing to look Karma's way. He knows he has every right to be mad, but he feels really bad about worrying him, and also the shouting is making his probably-has-a-concussion thing worse.
"I know," he says. "I messed up. I know. And I'm sorry-"
"Are you, though?" Karma asks, out of breath. Nagisa refuses to meet his disappointed eyes, but can still hear the way he's pacing. "We've been telling you for months that we're worried-"
"I know-"
"And I said something exactly like this would happen. But you didn't listen to me, did you? You just nodded and said you'd take better care of yourself and then you didn't. You just kept pushing and pushing and pushing yourself, and then you tried to refuse going to the hospital!?"
Nagisa sighs. Ah… so Fumiko… had… shared that. He supposes he can't blame her, but it still makes his stomach turn.
"I… did. And that was stupid-"
"Stupid!? It was braindead! Do you have any idea how hard I'm going to smack you when we get home!?"
"Please don't-" the doctor interjects.
"Okay. Okay. Okay. I get it. You're mad," Nagisa says. "But maybe don't say those things in front of the doctor. He's gonna think it's like -" he glances to the doctor. "It's not like - it's not a domestic - he doesn't actually - he's just like this," he explains exasperatedly. "He just says these things."
…
"Not regularly, though. Only when I'm stupid. Not that he makes me feel stu- Oh my God we are making ourselves out to have a dysfunctional marriage!"
"Because we do!" Karma hisses. "What was I thinking!? I saw you falling apart, and I didn't do anything! I should have stepped in. I should have-"
"You tried!" Nagisa interrupts. "You tried to do something. But I'm a grownass man! I can make my own decisions! You couldn't force me to do anything! This is all-"
"Would you… would you like me to… step out for a second?" The doctor murmurs. "If you two… if you two need a moment…-"
Nagisa takes a deep breath. "That would be nice," he admits. "...How about you come back in when all my spouses arrive? You can explain the extent of my non-serious injuries then."
The doctor seems legitimately horrified by what the plural 'spouses' implies when this room is already so chaotic with just one of them, but knows not to ask. Without further ado, he curtly excuses himself from the room.
Instantly, some tension seems to vanish. Nagisa's relieved to not have to discuss their interpersonal issues in front of a stranger. Although all that tension seems to return with a flourish when he feels Karma's gaze burning into him.
"I meant it," he says. "That… that it's not serious. You can ask the doctor. I mean - he just left - but you can. Exhaustion: that's all. Exhaustion and a mild concussion. It's not an emergency."
"...And what about next time?"
Karma's voice is strained.
Nagisa can't avoid him forever. With the doctor gone, there's very little left to look at. Sighing and biting his lip, he lets his gaze drift to Karma. And when he sees tears prickling in his husband's eyes, he feels a lump form in his throat.
"There won't… I mean- I don't think there'll be a… next time."
He tries to sound reassuring, but he does a pretty woeful job. He can't just lie to Karma like that. Not when he's already so worried. He messed up, bigtime. And he… he doesn't know that everything will be okay.
"Please tell me something's going to change," Karma asks, hand clutching his pant leg. "I am so mad at you. Please tell me something's going to change. About - about your job! About your schedule! I can't take this anymore Nagisa! Kayano called me and told me there'd been an emergency, and I really, genuinely thought you'd died! You can't do this to me again. You can't scare me like this again. I'm… I'm sick of it-"
He's returned to pacing. And it's his turn to avoid looking Nagisa's way as he wipes at his eyes. He's mumbling swears under his breath and growling.
Nagisa hates it. Usually, he's… he's just so damn good at keeping his cool. He only gets like this when he's genuinely upset.
...Nagisa really scared him.
"It will," he says. "I know that sounds so, so empty, but it will. I don't… I don't want to scare you like that again. When everyone arrives, we'll discuss a plan. We'll get something figured out. I swear-"
"You better… you better mean that, Nagisa," Karma whispers. "I know you have so much difficulty giving a shit about yourself, but please - if for anyone - Mean that for us."
...He's still pacing when Gakushuu arrives.
He, too, seems to have entirely lost his cool.
He's still in those formal managerial clothes of his... like he'd driven straight over from work. Knowing Gakushuu, he probably had. His hair's neatly combed, and his tie's tucked just perfectly into his shirt, but when Nagisa meets his eyes, all aspects of Gakushuu's professional, collected persona seem to instantly fall away.
His face is a grimace and his hands are balled tight. He tries not to let it show just how heavily he's breathing, but his posture is tense and his eyes are a puffy bright red.
He marches straight over to Nagisa's bedside. Just about shoves Karma out of the way and demands "Nagisa Shiota-Yukimura-Asano-Akabane! What on earth did you do!?"
Nagisa's face pales. Ah… so this really is going to be the rest of his day, huh? He can't particularly fault his spouses, but oh boy is he in for a chewing out.
"Something… stupid. I'm going to admit that! Like, yes: I did something extremely stupid. And things are going to change. Pleasedon'tkillme."
"Please don't kill you? Please don't kill you?" Gakushuu asks, leaning down to wrap his arms around Nagisa's shoulders. His grip is iron-tight. "Please don't kill yourself! You are not the one who should be making requests here."
Nagisa wilts, but leans into his embrace. "...I know…"
"What happened?"
"He passed out from exhaustion: that's what," Karma interjects. "Scared the bejeezus out of his class and hit his head real hard on the way down, too."
Gakushuu hisses in through his teeth, grimacing.
"It's not serious, though. Please don't worry. It's not serious," Nagisa reassures.
"Of course you'd say-"
"The doctor told me it's not serious. It could become serious if I continue to act this way, but it's not. My heart rate's fine, and I just need rest."
"And you have a mild concussion," Karma tacks on.
"...And I have a mild concussion," Nagisa admits with a groan. "But really, I feel fine. A little dazed, maybe, but that's it."
"The doctor," Gakushuu says. "Where is the doctor? I need to talk to him. Now."
"What!?" Nagisa asks. "Do you not believe m-"
"Of course I- of course I do!" Gakushuu responds. "But there are just… there are things we need to talk over. I need to make sure he went over all the correct procedures. That there aren't any details he missed. I have some basic medical training, I'll have you know. If he misdiagnosed anything, I'll get to the bottom of it."
"...Memorizing a med textbook during a spot of late-night reading is not the same as having professional training, Gakushuu. I'm sure the man knows what he's doing. Please don't argue with him-"
"I am not going to argue with him," Gakushuu huffs. "I'm simply going to make sure he looked into your case with the most of his abilities. Anything less than perfect, and I'll see to it that he's swiftly punis-"
"Please don't."
"He's just outside," Karma notes. "Got freaked out by our little marital spat and asked if he could peek out. I'm sure he wouldn't mind talking to you, however, seeing as how you're the rational one here."
"Damn right I am," Gakushuu huffs, and he's already turning on his heels; parading out of the room. "You keep an eye on him," he instructs. "I'll deal with the technical aspects."
...Anndddddd he's gone.
"...Not even an 'I love you,' huh?" Nagisa asks. "Cold."
He means it as a joke... something to lighten the mood. But it must not land, because Karma's expression contorts into a grimace.
"He cried on the phone, you know," he says softly. "When he heard the news. We were all telling him not to drive because we were scared he'd crash the damn car." He hasn't stopped pacing in circles "I don't blame him for being cold. You scared the shit out of him. You know he doesn't like being caught off guard."
Nagisa's shoulders lower.
"...I know."
If Karma's usually good at keeping his cool, then Gakushuu is a goddamn expert. He's long since mastered the art of putting on a calm face. And more often than not, that calmness is genuine. He's cool… calculated. He has a bearing on most situations. He understands all possible outcomes, and because of that he always seems… ready. He only gets surprised like that when something's truly shocked him.
That's not always a bad thing. Back during high school Karma and Nagisa would 'take him by surprise' all the time. He'd look at them with this wide, bug-eyed expression for just half a second, before regaining his cool and reassessing whatever stupid situation they'd put him in. It'd made Nagisa laugh: just how different he'd looked than the sort of persona he'd wanted to give off. And in hindsight, Gakushuu had admitted it was part of why he'd loved them so much. They were good at 'keeping him on his toes.'
...But the surprise isn't anything worth loving, and certainly isn't anything damn funny now.
"You owe all of us a big apology," Karma says. "...And you better fucking mean it."
"...I will."
They sit in silence, leaving Nagisa to listen to the sound of Karma's anxious pacing. When that becomes too much to bear, he sits up and shakes his head.
"Where's Kayano? She said she was on her way."
"Picking up the kids," Karma replies. "They'd wanted to come."
...Ah… ah. Nagisa supposes that makes sense. He doesn't particularly want to face Korosensei's disapproving gaze, either, let alone Fumiko Hisakawa's, but there's nothing much he can do. If Kayano's bringing them, she's bringing them.
They show up maybe ten minutes later. At least… most of them. As Kayano, Makoto, and Fumiko come flooding into the room, he notes that Kiyoshi is still nowhere to be seen.
...Huh.
He's given very little time to think about that, however. Makoto breaks away from Kayano and rushes to his side. Fumiko just barely manages to catch the back of his shirt before he tackle hugs him, thus sending him falling over on his face.
"Be gentle!" she hisses. "He's sick!"
Nagisa reminds Fumiko to be gentle with Makoto in turn (Because he's the one who'll really be sick if he eats shit on the hospital floor again), then sheepishly holds a hand up.
"No, guys, really, I'll be fine," he says. "The doctor told me it was nothing more than a concussion. Give me all the hugs you want. I don't mind. In fact, I could… really use one right now."
Vindicated, Makoto hops back up onto his feet and scrambles over to Nagisa's side. He wraps him in a hug, squeezing with all the damn intensityof a pressure cooker. Fumiko and Kayano follow in suit, sticking close to his side as they cling to Nagisa.
"You really scared us, you know," Kayano whispers, sounding utterly exhausted.
"Yeah. You're not the first person to tell me that," Nagisa admits with a sigh. "But… this was a wake-up call. It's not going to happen again. We're going to make sure of that. As a family."
Kayano gives him a bittersweet look, brushing a strand of hair out of his face before stepping back. "Right," she says. "Of course.
Fumiko follows, awkwardly pulling away as if worried she'd dared to hug him for too long. Makoto, on the other hand, seems to show no sign of letting up anytime soon.
Nagisa wouldn't dare make him.
...There's just one thing that's still bothering him.
"Where's Kiyoshi?" he asks. "I thought he'd show up with you guys."
Now that makes Makoto's demeanor plummet. He falls limp on Nagisa's shoulder, pouting.
"I dunno," he says. "He just… like… vanished! When you got sick! And he's not replying to my texts! It's like he's avoiding me!"
"He's not avoiding us," Fumiko interjects firmly. "He's not. He's just…" she drifts off. "I don't know. But he's not avoiding us. He wouldn't avoid us."
Makoto lets out a low whimper. "I know," he admits. "...I just dunno what's been going on with him lately."
Nagisa places a gentle hand on his head and ruffles his hair. "I'm sure everything will turn out okay," he reassures. "Fumiko's right. Kiyoshi wouldn't do that to you without a reason. He'll open up to you about whatever it is that's upsetting him eventually. All you can do is be there for him in the meantime."
That seems to reassure Makoto some. His posture relaxes and he gives a firm nod.
...Nagisa feels bad for lying to him, but there's not much else he could do. It's not his place to tell them about Kiyoshi's request to have his seat moved. And he does believe that he's sure everything will smooth over eventually. He's seen a lot of things in his time. Whatever it is that's causing Kiyoshi to avoid his friends… it can't last forever.
"Speaking of," Kayano says. "Where on earth is Gakushuu? He told me he'd arrived."
"Right outside, last I checked," Nagisa says. "I'm surprised you missed him. He's arguing with the doctor."
"A- hem," a voice interrupts from the doorway. "Not arguing. Scrutinizing. There is a difference."
Kayano's head perks up. "There you are!"
"What was your assessment, doc?" Karma asks.
"He passed with flying colors," Gakushuu declares. "Or… at the very least... proved himself to be satisfactory. I'll take his word on Shiota's condition for now." A… ah… so they're defaulting to last names, now. "He let me know everything we'll need to do for him to recover, so don't worry about him trying to weasel out of anything."
"W… weasel?" Nagisa asks. "I wouldn't try to weasel-"
...Karma gives him a skeptical look.
"Three days of rest," Gakushuu says. "No work. No school. Just rest. No… no worrying about any of that… nonsense."
"H-hey!" Nagisa interjects. "It's not nonsense."
Gakushuu's shoulders lower. He sighs. "I know," he says. "I'm just… tired. I'm tired. Even if it's important, it's become too much. You're tired too, clearly. You need to get your mind off of everything. Just for a little bit."
"And I will," Nagisa says. "I have no objection to a three day rest period."
"Surprising," Karma admits.
"It's a weekend," Nagisa clarifies, scratching the back of his neck. "Besides… if it'll make you guys feel any better… then it's worth it. I'm not going to fight you on this."
"Good," Karma says, gently punching his shoulder. "Then I'd have had to really chew you out."
He still seems tense, but his demeanor is starting to lighten somewhat. He hasn't let up on the stressed pacing, but at this point he just looks more upset than angry.
"They can discharge you by day's end," Gakushuu says. "And when we get home you're going to bed. No ifs or buts. We'll take care of everything else. Don't worry about the counselor. Or the school. Or the kids. All of that can wait. For now, just get some rest, and once that's done we'll get the rest figured out."
"Which is going to get figured out," Karma says. "We're not continuing this way. We're not just going 'back to normal' and pretending nothing ever happened the moment this weekend is over. It's time you cut this out. You're getting a regular sleep schedule, you're stopping with the constant planning, and you're hiring more teachers."
"H-hey! Wait-"
"Don't you 'hey, wait,' me," Karma says. "I'm not taking no for an answer. You can't do this alone. And that's fine. At the very least you're getting an assistant! You can run them through whatever rigorous screening process you want, but you are hiring one. All of us agree on this."
Kayano nods. "...It's time, Nagisa. You can't fight alone forever."
"I… I know," Nagisa says. "And… I'll look into it. I'm just… scared ofhow the kids will take it. We're close. They trust me. What if… what if I invite someone who's willing to hurt them into their lives by accident?"
"You won't," Kayano says. "I just know you won't."
"Besides," Fumiko interjects. "It's not like you'd be handing ownership of the school over. Nothing is permanent. If you hire someone shitty, you can just fire them and try again. I'm well aware that even as class representative I can't speak for everyone, but I think we'd all much rather deal with getting to know some new adults than see you have an episode like that again."
Makoto nods. "You really scared us! I cried! A lot! I don't…- I wouldn't mind." He squeezes Nagisa. "I mean, I had help, didn't I? Irina and Karasuma! And they weren't perfect, but… the kids still loved them."
Nagisa sighs. "...You're right. I'll see what I can do. I'll hire an assistant, and if possible I'll work on expanding the faculty. I've stressed you all out long enough."
"You've stressed yourself out long enough," Karma says. "But Gakushuu's right. All of this should come after you get some rest. First just take care of yourself. Then we'll worry about the nitty-gritty details."
"And we'll help you," Kayano says. "We… we aren't going to let this become just another reason for you to be stressed. We're by your side. I promise."
"I can help, too!" Makoto says. "I mean… I'm pretty damn good at spotting potential teachers, aren't I? I found you! I'll pick out all the best guys!"
Nagisa laughs softly, giving his hair another ruffle. "...Thanks. I appreciate it."
And with that, the atmosphere in the room finally seems to lighten. Now that Nagisa's relented, it seems his family has a whole lot less to worry about. And as concerning as the idea of change can be, that - at the very least, comes as a relief.
Their conversation even manages to drift away from the topic of the incident. His spouses are happy to be taking him home sooner rather than later, and the kids are in a good mood, too. Before they know it, an hour's passed. It's mid-sentence about some mindless thing, however, that the door opens, and Kiyoshi Karasuma peeks his head in.
The mood shifts in an instant. Where everyone had begun to grow relaxed, they now seem downright excited. It's strange - They'd never realized just how much his presence would be missed until he actually up and vanished on them.
"Kiyoshi!" Fumiko says, and Makoto whirls around on his feet. His ever-fickle attention instantly torn from Nagisa, he gives a huge wave. Fumiko waves along, tacking on a "We were wondering where you were. It's not like you to disappear."
Kiyoshi gives a sheepish shrug. Where everyone else seems thrilled to see him, he doesn't carry that same excitement. He's pacing anxiously from foot to foot, and when Makoto rushes to his side to give him a bear hug, he jolts.
"A-Ah…!" he says, gently prying himself from Makoto. "No, no - I'm here. Don't worry." He holds a hand up and smiles. "I just… had to grab some things at home, that's all. I wouldn't pass up on checking up on Shiota-sensei. Not after everything that happened. Although I must admit…" His gaze briefly flits towards the wall. "I didn't expect you all to still be here by now."
"Of course we're here!" Makoto says. "We were just as worried as you! And I'm not budging until Nagisa's out of here!"
"That… may be a while," Nagisa admits.
"No worries!" Makoto insists. "I've got hours to spare!"
Fumiko lets out a dry laugh. "...I'm lucky you had your little heart attack on a Friday, aren't I? Something tells me I wouldn't have time to spend like this on a Monday. Tutoring-free and all."
"...Oh, right," Nagisa says. "That is still what your parents believe, isn't it?" He asks with his own laugh. "...I'm sorry. This probably isn't a very productive tutoring session, no."
"Don't say that," Karma insists. "You are tutoring her in something! You're teaching her to be a responsible, healthy person when she grows up, lest she pass out and crack her skull open like you."
It's only then that Nagisa spots the aghast expression on Kiyoshi's face. Staring at Nagisa with wide, horrified eyes, his mouth sits agape.
"FOR- FOR THE RECORD," Nagisa clarifies. "I did not actually crack my head open, or have a heart attack! The people around me just like to exaggerate everything!"
That seems to ease Kiyoshi's horror some. His shoulders lower as he gives an embarrassed laugh. "Of… of course," he says. "No. Don't worry. I wouldn't think that. I've just been… worried about you. I've just been really worried about you." His eyes drift towards the floor. "...I'm relieved that you're okay. For one horrible second, I thought you might actually die."
"Join the club, kid," Karma says. "He scared the whole lot of us."
"No," Nagisa says quickly. "Of course not. I wouldn't do that to you guys."
"Die?" Kayano asks.
"Yes! I wouldn't die!"
"I'm really enjoying the fact that you somehow think that's something you have any control over, but I appreciate the reassurance."
Kiyoshi shuffles slightly. He laughs along with the cheery atmosphere in the room, but somehow it feels forced. Like he's walking on eggshells.
"So… uh… what was the real diagnosis? Nothing serious, right?"
"No," Nagisa says. "Nothing serious. The current opinion is that I passed out from exhaustion. Ended up getting a mild concussion from hitting my head on the desk, but honestly I'm not feeling that much."
"That's good," Kiyoshi says. "That- that you're not feeling it!" he quickly clarifies. "Not that you - Not that you got a concussion! I hope that's obvious! I am - I am not glad you got a concussion! I would never be glad you got a concussion, Shiota-sensei!"
"I know, Kiyoshi," Nagisa reassures. "I know."
He's still standing awkwardly in the doorway. Makoto and Fumiko have taken to his side, but he hasn't made any motion to step into the room. Instead, he continues to nervously shuffle, chewing on the side of his cheek.
Nagisa wonders if he thinks it's too crowded inside, or if the hospital environment is freaking him out somehow. Either way, he feels bad just watching the kid stand to the side. He makes a beckoning motion, glancing Kiyoshi's way.
"You know you can come inside if you want," he says. "The more the merrier."
And instantly, Kiyoshi's demeanor seems to shift. Stiffening, he shakes his head.
"A… ah, no. I'd hate to overstay my welcome," he says. "...I didn't want to - I wasn't planning to stay long, anyways." He glances over his shoulder. "In fact… I think I should go. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I didn't expect all this… all this…-" he drifts off. "Whatever. I should get going. My father's probably worried about me."
"Already?" Makoto whines. "It feels like the first time I've seen you in forever. What's going on?"
"Nothing!" Kiyoshi says. "Nothing's going on. I just…" he pauses. "It's family stuff, okay? Not… anything you did. Don't worry about me. Everything will… everything will be back to normal soon."
"Okay," Makoto says. "If you say so."
He holds his hand out for a fistbump as Kiyoshi goes. Fumiko gives a defeated wave. Kiyoshi hastily returns them, nervously tapping Makoto's hand, and gesturing Fumiko's way, before whirling around and peeking out of the room.
"...F… feel better soon, Shiota-sensei!" he shouts from the hallway. "Sorry I couldn't stay longer!"
Nagisa's eyebrows furrow with concern as he watches him go.
He'd already been worried about Kiyoshi before any of this went down, and that concern's only doubled. He's just acting strange. He wonders if something had actually happened with his family. Irina just went off overseas, didn't she? Was there some sort of accident?
'...No,' he decides. If there had been, Karasuma would have let him and the rest of the E-Class know. Whatever this is, Irina's not involved.
It could simply be the anxiety of her leaving, but that doesn't seem likely. Kiyoshi's parents have flown overseas hundreds of times before. And it had seemed like he was finally starting to do better about managing his anxieties. Why is he spiraling all of a sudden?
...Spiraling. Nagisa feels bad describing it so bluntly, but what else is there to say? He said he went home to grab some things, then said his dad would be worried about him if he wasn't home soon like he'd never even been in the first place! This has gone beyond concerning. This is isolative behavior.
He wonders if it has to do with him. Did… did his medical emergency give Kiyoshi a panic attack?
He bites his lip. He feels bad worrying about this right now. Not when he just said he'd relax. But he has to say something first.
He stealthily retrieves his phone and opens up the family group chat. Whatever it is that's going on, he doesn't want Makoto and Fumiko worrying about it. This can stay between the adults.
[1/13/2031 12:43 AM:] [Nagisa💙]: Can one of you go check on him?
[1/13/2031 12:43 AM:] [Nagisa💙]: Like. Just pull him aside before he goes?
[1/13/2031 12:44 AM:] [Nagisa💙]: He's acting weird and I'd appreciate it if someone made sure everything's okay.
[1/13/2031 12:44 AM:] [Nagisa💙]: I'd do it, but something tells me I'm not allowed to get up right now.
It takes a second for them to notice. But after a slightly aggressive patting of his pocket, his spouses get the hint. One by one, they glance at their phones.
[1/13/2031 12:45 AM:] [Gakushuu ]: Indeed you're not allowed to fucking get up right now.
[1/13/2031 12:45 AM:] [Gakushuu ]: I'll handle it.
[1/13/2031 12:45 AM:] [Nagisa💙]: You sure?
[1/13/2031 12:46 AM:] [Gakushuu ]: Certain.
With that, Gakushuu stands and stretches. "I should excuse myself for a moment as well," he says. "I remembered I have a business call to handle. I ducked out on them when all of this went down, and if I don't call back soon, Mitsubishi is going to have my ass. Pardon me."
Only Gakushuu could use a conversation with one of the largest bank conglomerates as an excuse to get out of a conversation, but Nagisa supposes that's why he loves him. Swiftly, he peeks out of the room. And Nagisa hopes he'll manage to get everything under control.
Because he's not sure if it's just the concussion speaking, but surrounded by family… loved ones, having made the resolution to do better, Nagisa somehow feels like he's at a turning point in his life. And even uncertain - even scared for the school - it ultimately feels like a good one. Like he really is about to open up new doorways for himself.
But watching Kiyoshi's back disappear through the doorway, he'd felt as if he was watching the boy he's watched grow up for the past thirteen years experience a turning point, too. And perhaps this one for the worse.
At the very least, there's one thing he's realized for certain... sitting there, wondering if he'd caused this reaction from Kiyoshi: something needs to change. And now. Because yes, he'll never be okay unless his students are, too. But it turns out that goes both ways. And if he's not okay, then neither will they. He will never put them through this again.
It's time to do better. For his kids, for his family, and for himself.