Title: Daily Life

Summary: A day in the life of a boss-to-be when there's nothing trying to kill him.

.

There's one shower in the house but it wasn't really a problem since both Tsuna and his mum like having them at night. Reborn, however, only has morning showers because he's some kind of monster.

It's so much worse now that the hitman is adult, Tsuna thinks as he brushes his teeth, squinting at Reborn through the mirror. The man takes forever to wash his hair with all the fancy products he collects.

And yes, maybe Tsuna uses them too because his hair gets super fluffy and soft, but the point is that Reborn will take hour long showers if Tsuna lets him. He was never this bad as a baby.

Lambo charges in through the open door and jumps, Tsuna just managing to catch the boy and not swallow his toothbrush. He sets Lambo on the counter and starts automatically helping him brush his teeth.

I-pin darts in, tosses her pyjamas off and ducks into the shower only to then repeatedly headbutt Reborn in the knee until he starts soaping up her hair.

"I never want kids," Reborn mutters, crouching down so he can reach her head.

"I think we're stuck with them." Tsuna spits into the sink, Lambo looking positively rabid sitting on the counter beside him with foam covering half his face.

"We can lock the door next time."

"They'll attack mum though."

Lambo puffs out his cheeks with a gulp of water and Tsuna shakes the boy to help him swish it around. Lambo spits out foam all over everything and grins.

"Keep that one," Reborn tries.

Tsuna dumps the kid of out the cow onesie and Lambo skitters into the shower before attempting to climb Reborn.

"Yuni was never this bad."

"How about Aria?" Tsuna gets a cloth to clean up the counter.

"Oh, she was an absolute shithead as a baby."

Lambo jabs a finger at Reborn. "You swore!"

Reborn points back at Lambo. "I kill people for exorbitant amounts of money, don't talk back to me."

Tsuna turns to stare at Reborn. "You are a grown man arguing with a child."

"I'll always be a one year old at heart."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

Reborn throws a clean I-pin at Tsuna and gets a headshot.

"Sure," Tsuna says, walking around the school yard at lunch between Hayato and Takeshi. "We could do it next week-"

Reborn pops out of nowhere, kicks Takeshi in the face, backhands Hayato and shoulder-throws Tsuna to the ground.

"Huh," Reborn says. "Usually you last a bit longer."

The three groan, hauling themselves off the ground and back to their feet.

"Why are you here?" Tsuna complains. "When I'm in school you're supposed to be tutoring Mukuro and his weird friends."

"Your enemies won't try to kill you on schedule," Reborn points out with a finger wag.

"Go home!" Tsuna yells at the hitman.

Reborn slinks away but pauses long enough to punch Ryohei in the throat before darting off.

Tsuna facepalms.

Tsuna wheezes, reaching for the next handhold above him. He grabs on but his body is too weak to pull himself up. Maybe he could just let go, hope the harness catches him and he won't fall off this cliff face to his death.

"I see you," Reborn calls up lazily from the bottom, currently sunning himself on a beach chair and eating grapes that Bianchi is feeding him. "I see you trying and I appreciate it."

Tsuna lets go and drops, abruptly getting caught by the ropes.

Reborn turns to look up. "Is the encouragement not working?"

"No," Tsuna deadpans, hanging from his harness as a dead weight. "Whoever told you to start doing this is a dumbass."

"Iemitsu said I should-"

"Yeah," Tsuna interrupts. "I'm not surprised. Stop."

"Reborn," Tsuna calls out, twisting around on the couch to look over the backrest.

"What? What do you want?" Reborn slows but doesn't stop walking up the stairs.

"Come here."

"No, I'm already on the stairs," Reborn complains.

"Just come over."

"I'm on the third step up, I don't go backwards."

Tsuna clicks his tongue. "Never mind."

Reborn blows him a kiss and takes the stairs two at a time.

Tsuna jogs up the steps, ducks through the doorway, flings his bag across the room and throws himself on top of Reborn's back. The bed bounces underneath them and Reborn makes an upset noise where he's typing on Tsuna's laptop, propped up on the pillow.

Tsuna wriggles up Reborn's body and rests his chin on the man's head. "Watcha doin'?"

"You really want me to rip out your tongue that badly-"

"What are you doing?" Tsuna corrects.

"I guess you'd call it a scientific forum," Reborn muses as he stops typing. "This is Verde's newest article."

Tsuna peeks down at the screen in interest. Reborn has scrolled down into the comments.

[E. cocky]: yeah Suk my f pili

[BAP 7-9%]: oh is that a pilus, my bad, looks like fimbriae

[Goldbach's baby]: Why is it always the microbiologists that degenerate into dick insults first?

[E. cocky]: getlost math nerd go divid by 0

[Goldbach's baby]: Let me guess, your PhD had 12 T tests and shit else because bitch can't even pass undergrad stat.

[Reliable as a speedvac]: but no, legit, whys there a nomber boi

[BAP 7-9%]: says the protein boi, go fuck up 7 DIGEs

[Reliable as a speedvac]: imma nanoLC your sister's wet pussy

[come sit on my chair conformation]: lol ms

[Reliable as a speedvac]: nmr my ass U chem fuk

"Scientific forum," Tsuna echoes.

Reborn hums. "That little book symbol next to their names means they're highly published academics."

"Which one is you?"

"What makes you think I would lower myself to-"

"Number boi-"

"Dame-Tsuna, I will kill your mother in front of you."

Tsuna pulls back and stares. "Oh hi, Satan. Didn't see you there."

"Boy, you're about to wish I was Satan."

Tsuna tucks himself under Reborn chin as the hitman does a cool chef flippy thing to the pan.

"I can't cook if you do this," Reborn points out.

"You seem to be doing fine," Tsuna dismisses. He frowns after a while of watching, going up on his toes to bump against Reborn's chin. "I'm so short."

"We all stop growing when we're perfect," Reborn says wisely. "Except for you, there's something wrong with you."

"You know what I need more of in my life? Your shitty comments."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise it was my fault that your face looks like a typo."

"Can you comprehend that?" Hayato is sneering at Takeshi from across the low table in Tsuna's room. "I know it might be difficult what with your brain being as small as your dick."

Takeshi is smiling, hands resting behind his head. "My brain is a lot smaller actually, because if it was socially acceptable to whip it out in public then I wouldn't need to carry around a baseball bat."

Reborn laughs. Then quickly stops, looking disappointed in himself for laughing at something so stupid.

Tsuna has long ago buried his face in Reborn's shoulder, wheezing.

Hayato just rolls his eyes. "Be careful you don't trip over that thing and wake up," he scoffs. "The sun is so bright outside but you're still dreaming, how impressive."

I-pin obediently trots back into the room and flops down in Reborn's lap, now holding a bowl of popcorn. Reborn starts munching away as his eyes flicker back and forth like the arguing teens are a game of tennis. Reborn is definitely keeping score.

Tsuna makes a sound like he's dying and Reborn pats him on the head, feeding Tsuna a bit of popcorn.