Chapter 35
"Paulie. I'm…I'm so sorry."
Paulie held his mother's necklace in his hands. He looked over at me kneeling at his level. He came over and threw his arms around me. I held him close as he nestled his head into my chest. Trice and Sandy came in and gave their hugs to both of us.
We spent the rest of the day traveling through the Cullwoods back to the Lady Vengeance. It was evening by the time we arrived with the sun setting on the horizon. We entered the lifeboat along with our fifth passenger who patently waited for us, Xiuh. Once aboard, the children had fun being introduced to my new salamander pet. I figured it was best to give them some enjoyment before I had to tell them the unfortunate truth. I kept holding on to Paulie until he pulled away.
"Are you going to be okay?" I asked him.
Paulie stayed silent but nodded. His eyes showed he was still sad but was slowly copping with his loss. He walked away and the other kids followed him. There wasn't anything else I could do now. I stood up and descended into the ship. I emptied my bag of the books, robes I changed out of and other things I picked up on the way into a chest by the bunk I slept in two days ago. Afterwards, I retreated into the cargo hold. I sat down at the same spot I did when I first arrived on the ship. Only this time, I wasn't crying. Instead, I sat in silence looking down at the planks of livewood.
So much had happened in the last two days. The revelation of Sebille's past, the death of Paulie's mother, and to top it all off, learning of a prophecy to unite my House with the House of slavery to bring back dragons that could bring terror and misery to thousands of innocent people. The result was a heap of doubt that weighed my entire body down. A departure from the high spirits I had when we rested at the lake.
I sat alone in the dark room until two figures appeared in the corner of my eye. I didn't shift my gaze because I already knew who they were.
"Do you mind having some company?" Ifan asked.
"Not really," I said not taking my gaze off the floor. Both Sebille and Ifan sat down next to me on both sides like they did under the tree.
"Are Almira and Mihaly settling in nice?" I asked.
"Quite so," Ifan said.
"Good," I said. "Did Gareth say anything about his encounter with the Silent Monks?"
"Only that he wants us to kill every Magister we come across from here on," Sebille said.
"Well that'll be easy to do, won't it?" I said.
The others nodded. A silence followed. Eventually, Sebille spoke up.
"I'm curious about something," she said. "Did you really mean what you said about tearing apart the lizard Empire to free the slaves?"
I had a feeling they were going to ask me about that. I took a deep breath and lay my head against the beam. After I exhaled, I stood up and faced them like I was about to perform a monolog for a play. I looked directly at Sebille first as I started to pace in front of them.
"Ever since you put your needle to my throat, and hearing the Lady Vengeance tell her story, I've felt so much shame for wearing the skin of a lizard. At first, I managed to convince myself I wasn't a monster because I was a member of the House of Law. Now that Sadha has offered herself to the Red Bastard…"
I paused. My audience nodded in acknowledgement.
"During my conversation with the Red Bastard, the one you eavesdropped on, I felt I was in a dark place. All I could hear were the screams of people having the scar burned into them while my people sung gleefully in the old tongue."
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, like I was transitioning to the next act. I looked directly at Sebille again.
"On top of that, hearing your story about how the Mother Tree wanted to use you started to make me doubt myself even more when it came to my family. Before, I was the good girl who did what she was told. Maintain discipline, practice the art of speech, impress Brell's family, maintain my virginity; everything I did was to improve my family legacy. All the while I believed I was going to do good for the Empire."
I paused and looked at my ringless hand.
"Now with my House joined to the House of Slavery, what good will I ever be able to accomplish?"
Both Ifan and Sebille looked at each other. I inhaled and transitioned to the next act.
"After everything that's happened, I feel like there's something in me; like a stain I can't get out of my soul. It feels like a need for atonement for my ignorance for not seeing the pain my species has inflicted on other people."
"And you believe Divinity and destroying the Ancient Empire is the way to do it?" Ifan asked.
I didn't answer immediately. Instead I paced around and pondered until I stopped to give my answer.
"I honestly don't know. Ever since I saw Sadha at the camp, all I can hear are the screams of the slaves who are trapped within the Forbidden City. All I can see are children being plucked up by red dragons and the scar being burned into their flesh."
I clenched my fists.
"A part of me wants to burn the Forbidden City to the ground and make every lizard who ever sung a slave song suffer. But at the same time, I feel like doing that would make me no better than the Red Bastard."
I closed my eyes.
"I don't know what I should do. I don't know what I want to do. I don't even know who I am right now. I don't know anything."
I stood in the middle of the hold in silence with my head bent down. I expected myself to cry again. But I didn't. I only felt I was in a sort of limbo between the realm of the living and the Hall of Echoes.
Eventually, I felt a hand take mine. I was pulled out of limbo and opened my eyes. Sebille stood before me with her hands holding mine. Instead of her usual playful smirk, her eyes showed sincere empathy, and perhaps a hint of sadness.
"I've been meaning to tell you something for a while," she said. I tilted my head.
"I'm sorry I put my needle to your throat and that I ratted out Stingtail when you promised you wouldn't."
She took a deep breath, seemingly trying to hold back the sadness lingering in her eyes.
"If you think you're a bad person because you wear the skin of the man who abused me, don't be. You're nothing like him. You're a better person than he is."
She paused for a moment.
"In fact, you're a better person than I am."
My brows shot up taken aback by her words.
"What?" I said. "What are you talking about?"
She inhaled deeply before she placed her hand on my amulet.
"Slane gave you this for a reason, and I know why."
She took my hand into hers again.
"You're a compassionate soul who wants to do good things for this twisted world. You try to resolve matters peacefully but won't hesitate to jump headfirst into the fire to protect your friends and innocent people. On top of all of that, I really appreciate you standing up for people who have been hurt by lizards."
She paused for a moment, inhaling a soft breath.
"But you shouldn't murder thousands of lizards to prove you're a good person."
I twitched slightly, surprised from what she said. Sebille rolled up her left sleeve showing the names of the people she killed so far to get to the Master. When I looked closer, I saw two freshly engraved names: Stingtail and Roost.
"I called out Stingtail because I wanted him to suffer for what he did to me. I found pleasure in hearing Roost scream in pain before he was done in."
She looked at the names for a moment.
"Even when I wasn't under the Master's influence, I killed so many people and found pleasure in it."
She looked up at me again. I could see a tear ready to be expelled from her left eye.
"What I'm trying to say is…"
She rolled her sleeve back down.
"I don't want you to end up like me."
I found myself at a loss for words. I heard Ifan walk up next to me and gently place his hand on Sebille's shoulder. She replied with a sigh.
"You should continue to be the person you are now. A guardian who uses her tongue to make peace when possible and only kills when there's no other option."
She reached up and gently brushed her hand against my cheek.
"That's what makes you a good person. And that's what makes you the best friend I've ever had."
The tear in her eye fell and ran down her cheek, grazing the edge of her scar. When the shock of what she said wore off, I lifted my hand and gently brushed the tear away. Like what happened between Ifan and me yesterday, the emotions in her took over. She moved in and wrapped her arms around me in a hug. All I could do was bring my arms around her and hold her close. I then felt Ifan come in and hug both of us. I closed my eyes and felt their bodies warm my cold blood once again. In that moment, I felt the worry and depression simmer out of me. The anger and guilt were gone. Instead, I felt peace again.
The embrace lasted until Ifan loosened his grip and allowed Sebille to step away. She looked up at me. She gave a faint smile to me and I returned it in kind. I felt Ifan place his hand on my shoulder and I looked to him.
"How's about I bring you two to a special place to take your minds off things?" he said looking at both of us. He motioned his head to the balcony above. Sebille looked over at me and nodded while I did the same.
"Why not?" I said to Ifan.
Ifan grinned and winked. He led us up the stairs to the hatch. We emerged from below and ascended the stairs to the top deck. Once up top, I looked to the horizon to see the sun was on the cusp of disappearing behind the sea. To my surprise, I saw the silhouette of someone leaning against the railing looking over the waves. It seemed to be poetic when recognized who it was sulking over the sunset.
The three of us looked at each other. Eventually Ifan gave me the look I was dreading.
"Oh, very well," I rolled my eyes. "Might as well have the full team, right?"
Ifan shot a brief grin before walking over to the Red Prince. Ifan gently patted him on the shoulder and said something I couldn't hear. Shortly after, both men came back to Sebille and I. With our party brought together, Ifan walked over to the lifeboat to prepare it.
As he did, the Red Prince lifted his head to look up at me. Instead of the eyes of a domineering and arrogant ruler who believed he was entitled to godhood, the eyes I saw were ones of a broken man who lost something dear to him. I pulled my gaze away from his ember eyes before it went any further.
When Ifan had finished the preparations, we started to file into the boat. I was the last to enter. Before I entered, I heard the children run up behind me.
"Are you leaving again, Mahalia?" Sandy asked.
"Unfortunately, yes," I said. "We still have a few things to do. But hopefully we'll be back tomorrow evening."
"Okay," Trice said.
"Good luck, Mahalia," Paulie said. He sounded better. That made me feel some comfort.
"Thank you," I said.
Ifan lowered the boat until it hit the water below. Like yesterday, we rowed to shore and made landfall in the same spot. We walked up the path to Driftwood and entered the town the same way avoiding Magister patrols. We walked through the market with the merchants closing their stands. Ifan lead us to the Tavern and we entered it. The evening brought several people into the tavern to grab a drink and a meal. But Ifan didn't stop at the nearest vacant table. Instead he led us to the back section of the building.
There, a human man stood. Ifan reached into his coin purse and put a dozen coins into the man's hand.
"Two rooms," Ifan said. "Name is Conner."
The man nodded and walked to the front desk. Ifan continued to a door in the back. When he opened it, it revealed a room with a flight of stairs leading down to what looked like a basement. Sitting on a stool next to the stairs was a heavily armored dwarf. He looked up when Ifan was close enough.
"Hold it," he said in a tired voice. "Papa no know! You no go!"
Ifan walked toward the dwarf and kneeled to his level.
"You sure about that?" he said.
The dwarf squinted at Ifan's face. His eyes widened and his body jolted, almost falling over his stool.
"Well, I'll be thrice-cussed to the Void: Ifan ben-Mezd!"
Ifan chuckled and gave the dwarf a clap on the shoulder.
"I saw them collar you good, boy. Didn't think we'd hear you growling around here again."
"I've been busy," Ifan replied. He looked back at the rest of us. "I've decided to bring my friends here to have a good time before we get back to our adventures."
The dwarf looked down at the door at the bottom of the steps.
"Well then, down you go. But no shenanigans, mind. I hear of any more incidents down there; I'll shave your damn wolf bald myself."
Ifan replied with a grin. He stood up and nodded to the rest of us. He walked down the stairs and we followed him. We went through the door and found ourselves in a cave tunnel. We followed it until we turned a corner that lead to a wooden structure built into a large sprawling cave. It was the Undertavern Ifan spoke of. There were red curtains everywhere with tables occupied by several people who wouldn't look out of place at the Lone Wolf camp in the Cullwoods. In the center were several bards on a stage with their instruments playing and their voices chanting away. Before them, several patrons danced to the melodies.
Straight ahead was the reception desk with a dwarven lady writing something in a ledger. Ifan walked up to the desk and gently tapped his fist on the wood to get her attention. When she looked up her eyes widened just like the guard upstairs.
"Hello, Effie," Ifan said with a charming smile.
"Ifan ben-Mezd! As I live and breathe," she said. "I didn't think I'd see you back in Driftwood again. No, no, don't tell me. If I don't know the story, I won't have to lie about it later."
She reached up and gave Ifan a pinch on the cheek while he gave me an exaggerated wink. Once she was finished, she looked back and pointed.
"You've arrived at the right time. Got a table with seats for all four of ya just over there."
"Thank you, Effie. You're the best," Ifan said.
She smiled and got back to writing into her ledger. Ifan beckoned us to follow. We walked through the patrons chatting and cheering to the vacant table where we took our seats; Sebille and I on one side and the Red Prince on the other.
"I'll be right back," Ifan walked up to the bartender across the dance floor. Three minutes later, he was walking back with four mugs of beer in his hands. He handed each of us one and sat down next to the Red Prince with his. He brought it up and proposed a toast.
"To our adventure," he said. One-by-one, we raised our mugs and repeated.
"To our adventure," we repeated.
We clinked our mugs together and drank. I took a gulp of the alcoholic liquid. Normally, I was a wine person. But I found myself adjusting to my beverage rather quickly. I drank about a quarter of my drink before I brought it down. Ifan and Sebille seemed to drink the same amount while the Red Prince took his time and gulped down over half of his beverage before slamming it onto the table. I looked around the tavern.
"This is…" I started. "Rather nice for a hive of scum and villainy. Or maybe I'm adjusting to the outlaw lifestyle."
Everyone chuckled except for the Red Prince who was already taking another swig of his beer.
"It has its ups and downs," Ifan said with a smile. "But whatever the reason, I feel right at home here."
I smiled and took another gulp of my beer.
"So, where exactly did your 'accident' take place?" I asked.
Ifan smiled and pointed at a corner of the tavern. There was a lounge with pillows and a large pipe in the middle. It was a drudanae pipe. Lounging around were lizards and other species taking in the vapors. He then told us exactly where he saw the tiger and where he trashed the tavern. We laughed and continued to talk amongst each other. Ifan recalled many of his stories that earned several laughs while I told everyone funny moments from my childhood and the boring times when I accompanied Brell to his parties.
"I'd absolutely die of boredom if I was in your position," Sebille said.
"Well, after these past few days, I'd probably die too if I went back to that lifestyle," I replied.
We all chuckled. Just then, the Red Prince put his empty mug onto the table and got to his feet.
"It's been a pleasure to hear your stories, friends," he said in a tipsy nature. "But you must excuse me."
He strolled across the tavern all the way to the brewery. He reached into his coin purse and laid out a pile of coins. Soon after, he had a pint in his hand and started to sip away at it.
"Well at least he's dealing with his issues that isn't harming anyone but himself," Sebille said.
"It'll probably be a problem we'll have to deal with in the morning though," I said.
"Yeah," Ifan said. "But I'd say let him have his pity party. For now, let's just enjoy our time tonight."
I smiled and nodded. Just then, the bards changed their tune to one I was familiar with. It was a song I danced to when I was younger. I looked at the others for a moment. I put down my mug and got to my feet. I walked onto the floor and took a breath. I felt the music enter me. When I opened my eyes, I let my body go. I twisted my body around to the smooth melody of the strings and woodwinds. I swung my hips around with my tail whipping behind me in pure elegance. In that moment, I felt I was…myself. Not a persona I put on for my family, Brell or the envoy I was assigned to. But myself.
I continued to twirl my body until the song reached its crescendo, posing as the final note ended. The patrons cheered, though if it was for me or the bards was anyone's guess. When I looked up, I saw Ifan standing up looking at me applauding. Seeing him made me feel a rush of blood come to my face.
The music started again. This time it was throbbing with drums and unrelenting energy. When I looked over at Ifan again, I was startled to see him stumbling toward me. I brought my arms and caught him before he fell. I looked up to see Sebille standing where Ifan stood moments before. She brought her thumb up and winked.
When I looked down at Ifan, he looked up at me. At first, it felt so awkward that I was petrified. But when I looked over at the band and listened to the music, I felt my body become able to move again. I felt my confidence grow. I looked into Ifan's eyes and grinned.
I placed my hand on his shoulder and took his hand with the other. I took a step to the right. He was slow to respond at first, but after three more steps, his awkward face slowly transformed into a smile. He placed his other hand on my waste and followed my lead. We hopped around the room together in tandem with the drums. I couldn't help but giggle as the both of us danced together. The rhythm was perfect, our bodies twirled gracefully around the room. Though our bodies were very different, I could feel a sense of harmony between us. We locked hands and started spinning in the middle of the room. As the world spun around us, we looked into each other's eyes and all we could do was laugh. We came out of our spin just as the song ended. Both of us took a moment to catch our breath and reorient ourselves with the room. The patrons around us applauded louder than the previous time. I was starting to think they were applauding our performance, but I didn't ponder it. Instead, both Ifan and I retreated to our table and sat beside each other.
When I looked around, I noticed Sebille was on the dance floor with her sly grin on her face. She winked and started to dance by herself. I looked over at Ifan who was still catching his breath.
"I didn't know you danced so well," I said to him.
"To be honest, neither did I," he said.
We continued to pant until both our breathing returned to normal. Our eyes met and I felt a warmth flow into me seeing his smiling face. I looked down at his hand resting on his lap. I placed my hand on top of it.
"I wanted to thank you for bringing me here tonight," I said. "I'm really having a good time."
"Of course," Ifan said. "What are friends for?"
I kept my smile on while I looked at him. It was then I noticed that I kept my hand on top of his a little longer than he probably expected. I felt a rush of blood flow to my face.
"Are you okay?" Ifan asked.
I didn't reply immediately. Instead my mind was racing with so many thoughts I couldn't comprehend. Then out of the haze, I heard my own voice in my head telling me something.
Tell him. It's your chance.
I could feel my racing heart slow down and my mind clear up. I looked over at Ifan who had a suspicious eyebrow up.
"I…I have to tell you something," I said.
"What is it?" Ifan asked. I could sense concern in his voice.
I took a deep breath.
"Remember earlier about how we talked about our favorite part about our adventure so far?"
Ifan's eyes shifted.
"Of course. What about it?" Ifan asked.
"Well," I paused. I could feel myself getting nervous. But I couldn't let that happen. Not now. I tucked it away and continued to talk.
"I think I have to make a change to my favorite part," I said.
Ifan's brows rose. I could sense he was getting nervous too.
"Oh yeah? What's the new one?"
This is it. Tell him now.
"You."
His brows shot up in surprise. From beneath the fur on his face, I could see his skin color.
"Umm…" He tried to say something but didn't know what to say. I felt the nervousness creeping back. But I knew I couldn't let it take over. I continued to talk.
"I mean, you've been there for me since the beginning. When we met, you didn't see me as a lizard. You saw me as a person who had discomfort with her collar and wanted to help."
I could feel the uneasiness evaporate and confidence take its place. I continued to talk.
"You were always there for me when I couldn't handle the horrible things we've encountered alone. You've always listened to me when I needed to say something."
I lifted his hand from his lap and put it in between my hands between the two of us.
"Whenever you're around me, I don't feel alone in this world."
What followed was perhaps the most awkward and terrifying silence I've experienced in my life. Ifan only stared at me with an expression I couldn't quite decipher. I had a nervous feeling in my stomach that slowly turned to fear. Did I mess this up? But before long, I felt Ifan's other hand come up to touch the back of my left hand. He moved his gaze to our hands embracing each other's.
"I'd…" he fumbled with his words. "I'd say the same about you."
From the middle of my stomach, I felt the nervous feeling starting to fade. I awaited what he was going to say next.
"I'm never lonely when you're around."
I felt relief flow into me. We stared into each other's eyes for a while. I moved closer to him. He smiled slyly, an expression that wasn't familiar to his rugged face. He moved closer to me. I could feel the warmth of his skin seeping over to me between the little gap between us. I inhaled his scent: wild and animalistic.
"You…you're incredible," he said.
He lifted his hand and gently placed it on my cheek. The warmth of his palm flowed into my skin. When I looked into his eyes, I could see something new in them. There were traces of the empathy he always had for me. But something else was there too. Affection.
Do it.
I closed my eyes and slowly leaned in. I could feel the warmth of his lips only inches away from my own. Moments later, I felt his-
CRASH!
I pulled back with a start. My eyes shot open. Ifan and I were shocked from the sudden noise that startled both of us. We turned our heads to see what caused the sound.
"You don't understand," the Red Prince shouted stumbling around the bar. "She is the perfect soulmate. Her scales, so delicate. Her form, a masterpiece of creation. Her eyes, perfect sapphires. When I find her, she will rule beside me and bring eternal glory to the Empire. Our allies will rejoice, and our foes will tremble. They will either bask in our suns or by their fire be undone! Kneel before me, for I am the Father of Dragons. All of Rivellon will respect me or…"
The Father of Dragons fell onto the floor and passed out.
Ifan and I looked at each other. We suddenly burst out laughing. We continued to laugh until we took in several deep breaths. Once we calmed down, Ifan put his hand on my shoulder and looked at me with his warm grin.
"Let's try this again sometime," he said.
"Of course," I replied.
He let go of me and looked at the unconscious body of the Red Prince.
"I think it's time I help Prince Charming to his room for the night."
He stood up and gave me one last look.
"We've a big day tomorrow so sleep well."
I grinned.
"You too," I said.
With that, Ifan walked over to the Red Prince and lifted his heavy body with the help of a nearby bouncer. They carried the lizard up to the entrance while I sat at the table. Once the men had left, I saw Sebille come over and sit next to me.
"So…?" she tilted her head gingery.
Instead of feeling irritation, I felt content in me. I decided to respond with sincerity.
"It's a start," I said with a smile. She closed her eyes and presented a gleeful smile.
"Seems I've made a good choice giving you two the hook up," she said.
"I suppose thanks are in order," I said.
"You're very welcome," Sebille said. "What are friends for anyway?"
"Yeah," I said. A moment later, I felt a yawn come over me.
"Think I'll turn in for the night," I said getting to my feet.
"Sweet dreams," Sebille said with a wink.
I smiled as I walked out of the Undertavern.
Author's Note: Happy Holidays everyone.
Really wanted to get both halves of this chapter perfect and I think I got the closest I'll ever get with them. Do you think I did?
As always, thank you for reading my story and a review goes a long way. See you next chapter.