There was still a few days before classes started back and Freddie spent all of them in the Brewing Lab, working on a variety of potions. One afternoon when she hadn't seen Snape all morning, she got Daniel's record player from her trunk and took it back down to Snape's office with her. The only record she had was The Eagles one they'd been listening to the day he disappeared.
She thought listening to the songs might make her sad, but when she started the music she couldn't help but smile. She turned the volume up and sang along while she worked on her potions. She even danced some while carrying ingredients from her workstation.
"What is that racket?" Snape asked, appearing in the doorway of the lab. He strode past Freddie to turn the music down.
"It's not racket, it's the Eagles! Don't turn it off, it's helping me concentrate."
"I know it's the Eagles. You're gonna blow your eardrums out and then I'll have to look up a potion to fix you and I don't fancy being your nurse today."
"Hmph," Freddie said, brushing past him to chop up the daisy roots she needed for her potion. "What do you know about the Eagles?"
"More than you do," he snorted. "They were popular when I was in school."
"With Muggles maybe."
He paused a beat and picked up one of her daisy roots, twirling it between his index finger and thumb.
"I'm half-blood," he said softly.
Freddie stopped chopping and stared at him.
"But you're Slytherin!"
"Most of your classmates are half-blood but they'll never admit it," he said, shaking his head.
"Was it your mom or dad who was a Muggle?" she asked, assuming he wouldn't answer.
"My father," he said with a sneer. "He was a truly unpleasant man."
"So that's where you get it," she joked.
Snape's face darkened. He threw the daisy down and stomped out of the room. Alarmed, Freddie abandoned her work and went out into his office after him.
"Hey! I'm sorry, Severus. It was just a stupid joke. I didn't mean to upset you," she said candidly.
"You did not," he scoffed, picking up the newspaper on his desk and opening it. "Go back to your potions, Gray."
Freddie hesitated a moment but she didn't know what to say so she turned and went back to her work.
When the record had played all the way through for a second time, Freddie peaked back out at Snape. He had traded the newspaper for a book and he didn't look up at her.
"Yes, Miss Gray?"
"I, uh...I was wondering if you knew what happened to the rest of Daniel's records?" she asked timidly.
He paused in his reading but still didn't look up at her.
"I expect they were returned to his mother, along with the rest of his belongings."
"Oh," she said softly.
Daniel's mum...does she blame me too?
She'd met the Muggle woman a few times before, when she was dropping Daniel off at the train station or picking him up at the end of term. She'd invited Freddie to visit, but her aunt and uncle never let her, of course.
"Can I go to Hogsmeade?" she asked Snape.
"Why?"
"There's a record store there."
He put his book down and turned to look at her.
"Have you finished your potions?"
"Yes sir. I brewed a cauldron of Pepperup Potion for Madam Pomfrey, she stopped by this morning but you weren't here. I've got it bottled up for her. My Boletus Potion is done if you want to look at it. And Felix doesn't need more dragon's blood til 6."
"Take your Pepperup Potion to Madam Pomfrey, then you may go," he said, picking up his book.
"Yes sir," she said, hurrying back to get the potion.
She turned the record player off and, after contemplating a moment, decided to just leave it there.
"And Winifred?" Snape said as she started to leave.
"Sir?"
"Stay out of the forest."
"I wasn't going to! I promised," she said, frowning at him.
"Just stay out of trouble."
"Yes sir," she said sarcastically and rolled her eyes as she left his office.
She took the potion up to Madam Pomfrey. The moment she stepped into the Hospital Wing she felt like she couldn't breathe. She remembered waking up in bloody clothes, remembered screaming, being paralyzed by Dumbledore.
"What are you doing here?" asked a large Gryffindor boy, blocking her way into Madam Pomfrey's office.
Freddie raised an eyebrow then gave him a scathing look she thought worthy of Snape. She saw the slightest hint of fear in his eyes and felt a strange sense of satisfaction.
"For heaven's sake, Dougall, sit down," Madam Pomfrey said, coming out of her office to take the potion from Freddie. "Thank you Miss Gray."
As she left the Hospital Wing she heard Dougall mutter 'it's probably poison'. She turned to glare at him again and saw Madam Pomfrey smack the back of his head and tell him to hush. Smirking slightly, Freddie headed down the stairs.
Maybe Madam Pomfrey is on my side too.
As she reached the bottom of the staircase she found Snape waiting for her with his traveling cloak on.
"I don't need an escort," she said coolly.
"I thought I would accompany you to the village – I need to go to the Apothecary anyway," he said, disregarding her attitude.
"Oo, I wanna go to the Apothecary, too," she said, her tone changing instantly.
"Mm-hm," he said with a knowing chuckle. "Come on then."
Freddie followed him out of the castle and blinked, surprised by the brightness of the sunlight. It was warmer than that the previous days and the snow was beginning to melt. She could hear it dripping from the towers and the trees.
She stood in the middle of the path and stretched, her face turned up towards the sun. She opened her eyes and saw Snape standing there, watching her intently.
"What?" she asked, feeling self-conscious.
"Hm. You look like a plant unfurling in the spring."
Freddie tilted her head and looked at him curiously. That was the closest thing to a personal compliment he'd ever said to her.
"Not all hunched over in the dark like you usually are," he continued.
That's more like it, she thought, faintly amused.
"I do not hunch," she scoffed, continuing down the path. "If anyone hunches, it's you. Skulking around the dungeons like a bat."
"You hunch. You'll have back problems when you're my age."
"You're not that much older than me. You can't be," she said, shaking her head.
Snape didn't say anything but continued down the path.
"Come on, tell me how old you are," she pestered. "You said the Eagles were popular when you were in school, that had to be the 70s, so...1960s? 1960 what? 62? 63?"
"1960," he said finally.
"Ha!" she said. "So you're...29?"
"I will be 30...on the 9th of January. Please don't-"
"That's next week! Your birthday is next week? How did I not know your birthday is next week?"
"Because I do not celebrate it. Birthdays are a waste of time. An arbitrary celebration of the planet's rotation around the sun on an otherwise insignificant date."
"Uh-huh. So, wait, when did you start teaching at Hogwarts?"
"1981. Enough with the personal questions. You would not appreciate it if the roles were reversed."
'Not true – you can ask me anything. I'm an open book. Wide open. Shoot your shot."
He looked at her oddly and shook his head.
"Do you know what ingredients we need from the Apothecary?" he asked.
"Shouldn't you know that, since it was your idea to go?"
"I'm asking you."
"Umm...rat spleens and tails...more daisy roots, I know I used a fair few this week. Um...you know I could've made a list, if I'd known we were going more than 5 seconds before we left," she said practically.
Snape smirked slightly and pulled a folded piece of parchment from his pocket. He handed it to her and she unfolded it. It was a list of ingredients.
"Aha. Always prepared."
"Mm. Like a Boy Scout."
"What's a Boy Scout?" she asked, confused.
"It's a...Muggle thing. Never mind."
They were almost to the village when a group of 5th year Ravenclaws passed them on the path. They were glaring at Freddie before they ever reached them. She glared daggers right back at them and when they passed one of them muttered the word 'murderer'. Freddie whipped around and hissed at them like an angry kneazle. They took off running and Freddie turned back around and continued walking.
"What was that?" Snape asked.
"Hm? Oh...everyone thinks I- they blame me. And they all, they're either scared of me or they hate me...I'd rather them be scared."
"That makes sense," he said, but more like a question than a statement.
"It doesn't," she said with a hollow chuckle. "But...if they're running from me, at least I don't have to hear them whispering. Calling me names. I should just ignore it, but..."
"It is difficult," he said with a nod. "You're young still."
They reached the village and Freddie headed straight for Marley's Records, Daniel's favorite shop in the town. Snape followed her, a little slower, a few steps behind.
"You don't have to come with me," she said, trying to keep the attitude out of her voice. She still felt like he was babysitting her.
"I can wait outside if you prefer."
"I don't care what you do," she muttered.
She walked into the store and a wave of sadness came over her. She walked the same aisles that she had walked with Daniel so many times, nearly every weekend since third year. Until this year. Until her apprenticeship with Snape. Until Daniel started going to Hogsmeade with Heather. Until...
The door opened and Snape stepped into the store. He walked along the shelves of records, looking bored. Freddie tried to shake off the sad feeling and focused on looking at the records. She picked a few she recognized and browsed through some artists she'd never heard of. She picked up one that had a man with blonde hair on the cover. She jumped slightly when she heard Snape chuckle softly behind her, not realizing he had come up behind her.
"Bowie before his lightning bolt," he said quietly, sounding amused.
"Huh?" she said, turning to look at him.
"Oh," he said, brushing past her to select a record off the shelf. He showed it to her. It was titled Aladdin Sane and featured the same man with elaborate makeup in the shape of a lightning bolt across his face.
"Hmm," she said, taking the album and looking it over. "Is he any good?"
"My mother thought so," he answered.
Figuring that was as good a recommendation as any, Freddie added both albums to her stack. She took her records to the check out counter and the long-haired wizard working there recognized her.
"Hey, man. I heard about your friend, I'm sorry. He was a good kid," the man said.
"He was," she said, surprised at the lump in her throat. "He- thank you. Excuse me."
Freddie left her stuff on the counter and ran to the bathroom. She locked the door and stood at the sink, trembling.
I said 'he was' like he's dead. I didn't mean to say 'was'. He's not dead. He's not dead.
She splashed some water on her face, fighting the hot tears that were threatening to fall.
The record man said he heard about Daniel. He told me he was sorry. He didn't look like he blamed her. He wasn't mad at her or scared of her.
Freddie added the record store guy to the mental list of people who were on her side.
That makes Snape...Madam Pomfrey...and the record store guy.
She left the bathroom and saw Snape standing by the door with a bag of her records. She hurried over to him, hoping she didn't look like she'd been crying.
"You owe me 7 galleons," he said, holding the door open for her.
"Thanks," she said, digging the money out of her pocket and handing it to him.
"Are you...okay?" he asked uncomfortably.
Freddie let out a hollow chuckle.
"That's a personal question," she teased.
"You claimed to be 'an open book' as I recall."
"I did say that, didn't I? I'm...okay. I'm fine."
"Well...good."
It was a minute before Freddie realized they weren't walking towards the Apothecary.
"Where are we going?" she asked curiously.
"Lunch – or, early dinner, I suppose. I'm hungry. I missed lunch."
"Where were you?"
"Busy."
"Hmph. Closed book," she teased.
"Indeed."
"Wait, so, you're going to eat with me? A student? In public?"
He grunted and continued walking without saying anything further. Freddie slowed down.
"I mean, I could go – I could go sit at the Three Broomsticks til you get done eating or whatever. I'm not hungry anyway. There were ice sculptures there-"
"Shut up," he said shortly. "And come with me."
She followed him to the end of the road to a shady-looking place called the Hogs Head Pub. She raised an eyebrow but didn't speak as she followed him into the pub. It was dimly lit and dusty. There were two wizards sitting at the bar, their hoods up. They didn't look up as Snape and Freddie entered the building.
Snape ordered food and drinks from the burly-looking man at the bar.
"We'll take them out back Nathaniel," he said, taking his scotch and Freddie's butterbeer in hand.
Curious, Freddie followed him out of the back door. There were several empty picnic-type tables out back. There was still some snow on the ground but the sun was slowly melting it. Snape waved his wand and dried one of the tables before sitting down. Freddie sat and took the Butterbeer he offered her.
"Thanks," she said. "We're sitting outside?"
"Less likely to be spotted...and you look like you could use some sun."
"Me?" she scoffed. "You're pale as a wilted daisy. Spending all that time in the dungeons."
"Hmm," he said, sipping his drink.
"The Three Broomsticks had giant ice sculptures," she mumbled, fiddling with the cap on her Butterbeer but not opening it.
"Drink your Butterbeer," he said, shaking his head.
They sipped their drinks while they waited on their food. Snape had his wand on the table. He picked it up and twirled it, his face pensive. Suddenly he pointed it at a pile of snow nearby and have it a flick. The snow rose into the air, swirling and hardening until it formed a small willow tree made of ice.
"Wow!" Freddie said, jumping up and running over to inspect it. The ice was hard and cold and it glittered brilliantly in the sunlight. She chuckled, delighted.
"You've got to teach me how to do this," she said, touching the delicate leaves of the ice tree.
"I don't teach Charms," he sneered as the door opened and the bartender brought out their food. "Come and sit down."
Disappointed, Freddie dragged her feet back to the table and sat down. She picked at her food, a burger and fries. She ate a bite of burger and three french fries, then sipped her drink, not really tasting any of it. She looked at the ice tree, loving the way it sparkled in the sun. She wished she could take a picture of it. Maybe I can paint it in Art class, she thought to herself.
"You should eat more," Snape said. "You're getting thin."
"What're you my mother?" she muttered, pushing her fries around.
A small shiver went through her. She hadn't thought about her mother in ages. She'd been 7 years old when Alexia and Marius Gray had been sentenced to life in prison. She had no memory of her father and her memories of her mother weren't exactly warm and maternal. Mostly flashes of her shuffling Freddie from one room to another, locking her in a room while they met with mysterious people in masks. She'd always seemed to be in the way as a child.
"Come here," Snape said, interrupting her thoughts.
She stood and came around the table nervously. She eyed Snape's half-eaten burger on his plate.
"You're not planning on shoving that down my throat, are you?"she asked darkly, remembering how he had grabbed her hair and forced the Calming Draught down her throat.
"No," he said with a chuckle. "Take out your wand."
Freddie did as told. He turned her around, facing away from him.
"Now," he said. "You've shown an unusual proclivity for wandless magic, bending objects to your will with sheer thought."
"Sir?" she asked, looking over her shoulder at him.
"Your kneazle is in your pocket now, is he not?"
Freddie blushed slightly and her left hand automatically went to her pocket, giving Hemlock a squeeze.
"Yes," she said a bit stiffly.
"I have seen you shrink and expand him at will, without the use of your wand. It is...impressive. The idea here is similar. Imagine what you want to create, let it flow through your wand. Then," he said, taking her hand in his, causing goosebumps to break on her arms. "Move your wand, like this."
"There's no incantation?"
"No," he said, still holding his hand over hers. "Just...focus."
Focus. With your hand on mine and your breath on the back of my neck? Yeah sure I can focus just fine, she thought to herself. Okay Freddie you can do this. Focus.
"Ready?" he asked her and she nodded. She focused all of her magic, all of her energy, and Snape guided her wand through the motions. The snow in front of her rose, sort of shivered a moment, then took the form of a kneazle. It didn't solidify into ice, as Snape's sculpture had, it was more of a snow-kneazle.
"Not bad," Snape said, letting go of her hand. "Practice."
Freddie took a few steps away from him, thinking that distance from him, from the enticing heat of his body, would help her focus. It did. The second kneazle she created was frozen solid, the perfect ice sculpture.
"I love this," she said, laughing in delight as she walked around the ice-kneazle. She glanced at Snape to see he was eating his burger but she could swear she saw a smile playing on his lips.
She made several more ice sculptures while Snape continued eating. The last one she concentrated really hard and created a large, intricately detailed cauldron with ice flames beneath it and ice spirals coming from the stop that looked like steam coming off it.
"Now you are just showing off," he said with a small smirk. He finished off his drink and stood.
"You ready to go?" she asked him, petting her ice kneazle once more.
"Unless you want to stay and play in the snow," he said. "While I go to the Apothecary."
"No way," she declared. "Besides – I've got your shopping list."