I glared at the plum-colored fitted sheet willing it to catch fire so it wouldn't keep tormenting me. Who knew how to fold a fitted sheet anyway? Gemma. But we'd sent her away hours ago. With a giant sigh, I flopped it across my lap and leaned back into the couch. Everything ached and I felt like I was floating - it had been a blurry 48 hours.

Stellan reached toward me, grabbing the sheet with the tips of his fingers to tug it away and I wrenched it back into my fists snapping, "I can do it!"

He grumbled something in reply, but I couldn't tell what he said, or what language it was. Whipping the sheet out in front of me for the fifth time I blinked my burning eyes as Elodie let out a chuckle across from us. Our couch shifted as I felt both Stellan and myself jerk toward the two of them, glaring. Jack raised an eyebrow and then whispered toward Elodie,

"Greek?"

"It has to be, right?" She whispered back with another little laugh. They continued to not seem phased at all by our foul moods. Instead, Elodie leaned her head onto Jack's shoulder and continued with, "you two are going to be a blast with a newborn."

"What the fuck are you even talking about?" I growled, tossing the sheet at our coffee table, admitting defeat. They both laughed and then Jack explained,

"You're fighting with each other in completely different languages. Haven't understood a word either of you has said for the past two hours."

"Why don't you get some sleep?" Elodie offered.

"I'm not tired," I snapped at the same moment as Stellan. Jack and Elodie tried to hide their laughs by pressing their lips together. I rubbed my eyes and sunk further into the couch. I, for sure, knew that one had come out as Afrikaans.

"Anya is finally sleeping. She gets the cast tomorrow. Your guilt-ridden, micromanaging can take a break now." Elodie said, standing and pulling Jack up with her. "We'll watch over her tonight."

"Besides we need you both back at top speed tomorrow," Jack added, the two of them shuffling toward the back of the house.

I hurled a pillow, feebly, at their leaving backs which only made them laugh more. Their happiness and lack of sleep deprivation made me want to stab them. Stellan grumbled something in my direction as he made his way toward the bedroom and I fell over into his empty spot on the couch and immediately fell asleep.

But it was nothing but nightmares.

Anya's brave face quickly dissolving into tears when we'd finally stumbled into her hospital room. The huge, multicolored, bruise that wrapped around her left hip and thigh. Her grimace when the nurses would poke at her injuries. All her monitors beeping through her fitful sleep on her hospital cot. Which morphed into my twisted memories of my scar and my weak heart. Followed by lightning storms. Then gunfire and blood. And finally drowning. They always ended in drowning.

I woke up gasping, clutching my chest as my eyes darted around the dark room. I smacked at the space next to me, looking for Stellan, only to remember I wasn't in a bed, and he wasn't there. He hadn't been, for the past few days. I'd locked myself in the bedroom on the plane, opting to sleep off my come down from the Molly alone. Then we'd taken turns sleeping in chairs in Anya's hospital room until they'd released her. We'd only talked about what was necessary - logistics, doctors, medications, appointments, plans. Battling off our Molly induced depressive state, jet lag, and guilt was enough to keep the obvious conversation we needed to have at bay. That wasn't exactly helping me sleep either.

Glancing at the clock I saw I'd managed to get almost six solid hours, but I still felt fuzzy, or was it exhausted? Everything ached down to my bones. Large details continued to elude me - like when was the last time I ate? Or had a sip of water? Or changed my clothes? But that was only when my internal thoughts weren't pummeling me with guilt.

The quiet of the room, mixed with the golden morning light pouring through all the windows, lured me back toward sleep. I even contemplated pulling a blanket over my wrinkled clothes before passing back out when a commotion started to make its way down the hall.

It started with a stampede of feet and quickly snapped orders, followed by the door to our private wing being flung open and a gigantic purple teddy bear being dumped onto the couch next to me.

I blinked hard at it. Clearly, I was losing my mind and full-on hallucinating now.

"Avery?" A familiar voice called out to me and I squinted as Luc came into focus. He was in a sharp, gray, three-piece suit, with a beautiful pale purple tie that matched his eyes.

"Are you real?" I wondered aloud, glancing next at the professionally wrapped presents men were stacking around myself and the teddy bear.

Luc let out a laugh and then waved off all his helpers with some more commands in French. Rounding the coffee table he stood before me, mouth quirked in a contemplative red pout, and then tilted his head and asked, "so is it true that you turned down two different celebrities before Stellan had to carry you out of a bar?"

"How did you hear about..." I trailed off, squinting at him. He was far too alert and excited about this. But if Luc knew that meant it was only a matter of time before it would be blasted all over the front page of every gossip rag. Sighing I rubbed at my eyes again, "yeah. That happened."

Honestly, it felt like it had happened in a different life at this point. Everything after that had gotten so progressively worse. Luc made the coffee table creak as he sat on it, directly in front of me.

"How drunk were you?" He laughed.

"It was more the Molly that made him carry me out," I let slip.

"Avery West Korolov!" He gasped so sharply I jumped, then groaned at how he'd said my name. "Tell me everything, right now!"

"It's all kinda fuzzy Luc," I tried to pacify. I was not in the mood for this. "What's with the Jack sized teddy bear?"

"For the princess of course!" He smiled at his offerings and then leaned forward - conspiratorially. "But was the Molly before or after all the booze?"

"After." I yawned, digging deeper into the couch.

"Rookie mistake." He shook his head in disappointment. "Why didn't Stellan stop you? He knows better."

I stretched my sore body as I yawned again, "I'd sort of roofied him at that point."

"AVERY!" He shouted and then fell backwards as he laughed - loudly. Architecture magazines and the bowl of decorative potpourri spilled all over the area rug underneath him.

I flopped behind the giant purple teddy bear, groaning. My stupid mouth. I could feel myself turning bright red as Luc gasped air back into his lungs between laughs. I needed to stay mute for the rest of the day, or I was only going to dig this hole deeper.

"Wait…" Luc hiccuped, "wait...tell...me...how…" he forced out, trying to stop laughing but failing miserably. It was all muted behind the bear and I just ignored him. But then he slapped a hand down on my knee and yanked the bear off my face. "Details. I need details."

"No way," I narrowed my eyes at him.

"You have no idea how epic this is. Legendary! This single night shall live in infamy."

I rolled my eyes at him. If he only fucking knew...

"What's going on?"

I squeezed my eyes tight and held back the growl I wanted to give. Because of course, this would be the moment that Stellan wandered into the living room. Luc's hand pinched my kneecap in between his hiccuping breaths. We both heard Stellan's boots stomping closer and I snapped my eyes open and tried to metaphorically stab Luc with the dirtiest glare I could give him. He released my knee, waving me off with an eye roll, and turned toward Stellan to brightly exclaim,

"Oh just lamenting about how itchy casts can be."

"Jesus," I grumbled under my breath. That was the worst possible lie.

"Neither of you has ever broken anything, how would you know?" Stellan suspiciously asked and then sat on the table next to Luc. I shot Luc another dirty look as I forced myself to sit back up. Stellan waited for an explanation as Luc rearranged the bear and casually tossed out,

"I know lots of things."

I kicked his shin. He let out a curse. And then we all turned to see Jack and Elodie making a protective circle around Anya and her entire left arm, covered in a soft cast. My heart ached in my chest again at the sight of her. She was too little to be dealing with something so awful. But her grimace of pain lifted a bit off her face when she took in all her perfectly wrapped presents stacked around me. I immediately stood up to vacate the space.

"Are these for me?" She brightly asked, looking at the three of us, I pointed at Luc. He gave her a deep nod,

"Of course ma princesse. Anything for my family in their time of need."

I waited for him to correct himself, to add that "thirteenth" to the front of family that the Circle just loved to clarify. But he didn't, and my stomach knotted into a tight, awful, ball. All the things Stellan had yelled at me in the Maldives started to rise through the fog I'd been stumbling through. I felt like I was going to throw up. While the four of them fussed around Anya I mumbled needing to shower and left as fast as I could.

I flopped, restlessly, under the covers. Shifting and stretching to try and force myself to get comfortable. It wasn't helping. I'd put a pillow between us when we'd first come to bed to get a little more comfortable as I scrolled through my phone, but I still hadn't moved it away.

At first, I'd been working, reading through some Order findings and double-checking my schedule for the next couple of days. But that had all quickly run out and I was still in no mood to talk to Stellan so I'd purposely started playing solitaire. Endless solitaire. Hoping it could lull me to sleep, even after Stellan had wordlessly passed out next to me. Mercifully, my phone buzzed back to life on the night table and I slapped around for it, rewarded with a text from Colette.

My heart leapt into my throat. I'd been dying to talk to her, going so far as to contact her publicist a few times since she'd left to see how I could get a hold of her, but I'd always struck out.

How is Anya? I'm so worried about her!

She's fine. Clean breaks.

Going back to school tomorrow.

I think she's enjoying all the attention.

Well, it is quite dramatic. LOL.

The Maldives huh? That's one way to spend Christmas.

And New Years.

Are the rumors true? Was it a 'babymoon'?

Are you pregnant?

Of course not!

You do still have three more years.

Or they put me out to pasture? LOL

Or they start the in vitro treatments.

It's better to have several heirs in quick succession.

As early as possible.

I have to pop out children…

before I can legally drink?!

Oh please like that's stopped you! Hahaha

Wait you aren't joking...

You have plenty of time. Don't worry.

You say that now.

You have to tell me all about the trip!

This insane rush of emotions flooded me - desperation, anger, sadness, panic. I wanted to rip the pillow away from between us and snuggle up into his warm back and punch Stellan repeatedly until he woke up all at the same time. My deep-seated need to unload all of this onto someone, have someone else tell me if I was overreacting, made my chest ache in anticipation. Jack was out of the question and it would be a cold day in hell before I talked to Elodie about problems I was having with Stellan - but Colette had always been a voice of reason for me before. The further we got from our fight in the Maldives the harder it was for me to find a way to talk to him about it. Instead, it just simmered in my chest dangerously close to boiling with every barb or nonchalant comment he threw my way. If I couldn't even figure out what to yell at him how could I ever feel like we'd resolved anything? I tried to think of where to start when my phone buzzed several times in my hand.

I only have access because I'm in town.

Celebrating with some of the crew.

It has been so fulfilling, Avery.

I can't thank you enough for allowing me to leave.

My heart hasn't felt this full since before Liam died.

And just like that all the frantic thoughts I'd been ready to unleash hardened in my throat like a heavy ball that thudded quickly down to my stomach. I couldn't do that to her. I couldn't tell my one friend in the world that everything had gone to shit the moment she left. I had to lie.

Can't wait to hear about it as well!

Be safe! Miss you!

I didn't even wait to see if there was a reply. I opened my drawer and tossed the phone into the back of it with a soft bang. A couple of mini vodka bottles rolled toward the front and I grabbed them all. If I couldn't force myself to fall asleep, I guess I'd drink myself there.

"They moved all of Anya's things to her new private dorm and Mila arrived this morning." Jack filled in.

"The extra Order guard for her?" I asked, the name vaguely registering for me.

"Yes," Stephen nodded. "She'll also be an aid for her during her healing."

"Like covering up her cast for bathing and all that?" I looked down the hallway toward the growing group of girls surrounding Anya. They were laughing and giggling, each vying for a chance to sign her sparkling purple cast with their rainbow of sharpies.

"As well as her physical therapy after," Jack added. I nodded, trying to ignore their chattering as it echoed up the stone walls back toward us.

"And the concussion. You know to…" I started to say and Jack put a quick hand on my shoulder,

"We know. Don't worry."

I nodded and took a breath, trying to reset when I remembered,

"We didn't have to put her horse down, right? I think that would have backfired spectacularly," I trailed off and looked over at Stellan for some solidarity. He just blinked.

"No," Stephen answered. "The investigation revealed the horse to be in good condition, uncompromised, and uninjured. It appears that it was just an accident."

I gave Stephen a skeptical glance, not sure if he meant it or it was just what he had to say when the walls had ears. Jack let out a huff of agreement,

"Unfortunately, it happens. I was about ten when I was first thrown."

"Well if you've been thrown…" I emphasized as I looked down at my phone. The incessant buzzes were coming from Elodie, already at the venue waiting for us. The drop off back at St. Lucia's was taking longer than planned. But I needed to make sure that everything was set in place for Anya before we had to jump back into the fray. The Headmistress was just verifying the extra safety logistics we'd requested were in place before we could leave.

"Were there any other precautions other than what we've discussed?" Stephen addressed the group and I drug my eyes away from my texts to glance at Stellan. He seemed to shake awake into his body and cleared his throat,

"No, unless you observe something. Report into us first."

"Of course," Stephen gave us a quick bow and started down the hall.

"You alright?" Jack asked and I went to reply when I realized he'd asked Stellan. We simultaneously turned for his answer when the Headmistress' door swung open,

"Apologies for the delay. Everything is set. Thank you for your patience."

"Please make sure you inform us should anything further come up," I smiled tightly at her, she stiffened and swallowed hard. I wasn't exactly thrilled that our investigation had shown Anya had escaped from her room before the rest of the school was awake to get down to the stables. If Stephen hadn't been following her she would have had hypothermia as well as a broken arm and wrist.

"Of course," she gave me a deep nod and then brushed past us calling out to the group and making them disperse back to their dorms. With the hallway clearing, I looked back over at Stellan, still oddly detached from all this. He smiled, blankly, at the two of us and then inched his fingers to the small of my back, Jack took that as a cue to leave. As the three of us started back toward the town car I stopped to wave goodbye to Anya. She gave me a quick half-smile in return, more interested in what her friends were trying to scribble on her cast. Stellan called something out to her in Russian, I was pretty sure he was telling her to be safe, and she rolled her eyes at him and huffed out a loud,

"I know!"

All her friends let out a nervous giggle in response. But before I could berate her we were moving again and the giant wooden doors of St. Lucia's closed behind me.

We had barely been back for a week and Elodie already had me in Hague in front of a bunch of UN members to talk about child trafficking and the organization we were now supporting. Pretty bleak topic to transition to when you'd just spent a month inside a booze-filled haze of lust. But like most things in my life now, it was a perfectly executed strategic move. The Circle used to get most of their children to feed the Keeper program from child trafficking, especially in some of the more...communist countries. It was another direct jab at them, which of course meant some thinly veiled speech a team of people had meticulously prepared. Why Stellan never had to give speeches was beyond me, especially this speech - he was the damn Keeper. I watched him round to the other side of the car and tried not to glare.

The door slammed shut behind me and I tossed my purse into the space between us, digging through it to try and find the index cards Elodie had stashed in there for this. There would be a teleprompter, of course, but I was still getting used to using it. I flipped through the cards and asked the car,

"What's the deal with this one again? Is it Saxon or Korolov?"

Jack looked up from his phone and glanced at Stellan who shrugged.

"Let me ask a different way," I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling my dress tighten across my back with the motion. "Did I inherit this task or did Elodie burden me with it?"

"Technically you've inherited everything you do," Stellan drawled. I glared at the side of his face as he flicked through his phone. The car lurched to a stop and I shoved my cards back into my purse. Jack awkwardly cleared his throat and I took in a deep breath when we all heard the noise outside the car.

"For fuck's sake," I grumbled just as the door opened to a barrage of flashes and shouting. There had been a path cleared by security to get to the front door, but I could barely see it from the temporary blindness. Elodie appeared in front of me with a wide grin, shouting a bit over the noise,

"I'll steer you towards the right one."

The outside of the venue was crawling with paparazzi. This tight mash of people in dark coats all pushing and shoving toward the front. Their microphones and cameras were catching off the afternoon light that had finally managed to peek through the dreary dark storm clouds. All of them were shouting my name and ridiculous questions,

"Who are you wearing?"

"Can I get a comment on…"

"Is it true that you…"

"What's your New Year's resolution?"

I simultaneously felt Elodie grab the pocket of my jacket to yank me forward while Stellan had grabbed the belt loop on the back of my jacket tugging me back. I stumbled a bit in my heels and Jack grabbed my arm to steady me but I shook them all off in frustration. Elodie turned around to see the delay and then pointed toward a brunette with incredibly shiny hair and too much makeup on. She thrust a microphone toward me and I caught a logo but I couldn't be sure what it said. That didn't give me much time to figure out which version of myself had to answer this pop quiz. Her too white teeth gave me a predatory grin as I felt Stellan slide up next to me and she thrust her microphone at me over all the noise and shouted,

"Tell us about the Maldives! Such a long trip!"

Ahh, so it was the 'Idiot American Teenage Bride' version of myself. I gave her my best, dazzling, Circle smile and leaned forward to say into the mic, "we'll I'm American. I wanted to take a proper European holiday."

She laughed, a beat too long, as a few microphones from other reporters swung our way. I was ready to move on when she quickly darted the mic back to herself and asked,

"What was your favorite Christmas present?"

Panic. Blood freezing panic filled my chest and I looked down at Stellan's shiny dress shoes to try and stall. I didn't have a single example to give because we had forgone Christmas altogether. Even when it had been mentioned to me while in the Maldives I'd brushed it off. A corner of the living room in our private wing was still decorated like it was Christmas Eve, with beautifully wrapped presents under a giant tree Gemma was somehow keeping alive. I didn't even want to open them now.

Stellan poked me, covertly, in the back. I'd have to lie. I forced a sly smile across my lips and looked directly into his eyes as I said,

"I can't tell you that!"

They ate it up. Cameras started clicking at double speed, the reporter was fumbling all over herself to try and get me to expand. Stellan's fingers cinched around my waist and then I broke eye contact just long enough to see the first few drops of rain start plunking down on everyone. Elodie jerked her head towards the front door of the venue and we made a break for it.

Shaking the few drops off of our coats we followed Elodie down the twisting hallways toward the growing noise of the ballroom where I'd be giving my speech. At least we wouldn't have to stay for the rest of the summit they were having. I handed my coat off to Jack, squeezing my phone in my fist as he and Elodie snuck through a door to see if they were ready for me. As I took a few deep breaths to try and prepare Stellan leaned toward me, close enough to smell the wool and rainwater still hanging on his jacket, to lowly say,

"I did get you a Christmas present."

I leaned heavily against the wall, away from him. So had I. But I hadn't exactly been in a charitable mood toward him since we'd been back. We hadn't shared a bed, a meal, or anything other than crucial details with each other. Half out of necessity, but the other half because…

BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!

I immediately answered my phone, looking away from Stellan and back toward the door, hoping Elodie and Jack would come barreling out next.

"What?" I snapped.

"Avery," Luc answered. "Did you hear? Michiyo had her baby."

"Are they both okay?" Stellan tensed in my peripheral vision and I tacked on, "Her and the baby, are they well?"

"Yes, yes. But you'll need to play your next couple of moves perfectly here. It's going to set a precedent."

"When has anything I've done not set a precedent," I cracked back. Luc just laughed in return, right as Elodie cracked open the door and waved me in. "I gotta go, I'm giving a speech to the UN."

"Bonne chance!" He merrily chirped before hanging up. Like that was something he did all the time himself.

Elodie gave me another aggravated wave to come in and I pushed off the wall, handing my phone over to her. When I looked back, as the door started to close, Stellan had slumped against the wall, frowning.

Click. Click. Click.

"You've thrown so much weight behind so many causes. Speaking at the UN summit on child trafficking last week, how do you find the time for all this?"

I handed off my empty glass tumbler to the assistant floating around as I pretended to contemplate this question. Behind the reporter from Vanity Fair, I could see Stellan and Elodie watching in silence. His portion of this annoying publicity stunt had already been fulfilled - pictures and canned answers.

"When it's important to you, you make the time," I gave her a dazzling Circle smile. "Don't get me wrong, I have taken a couple of vacations."

Click. Click. Click. The photographer circled the two of us, getting every beat of the moment. She laughed, brightly, as she looked down at her notes. "If I could just ask one more question?"

I darted my eyes up at Elodie to see if that was part of the plan. These reporters tried to sneak in extra questions sometimes that I hadn't prepped for. Elodie nodded and I pulled at the bottom of the sequined mini skirt she'd squeezed me into for this, saying, "of course."

"Thinking back to before this whirlwind started what would you say you miss more?" She paused and my stomach flipped. This wasn't one of the questions. I should have known this woman was going to go rogue. She was only going to get one shot at interviewing me. I didn't dare lose eye contact with the traitor, that would be a sure sign of weakness. Her smile fell a little as she realized she hadn't shaken me, but she continued, "casual clothes or junk food?"

"Casual clothes," I immediately answered, catching Elodie's scowl behind her. "What I wouldn't give for a pair of chucks right now!" I flashed my red bottoms at her.

Click. Click. Click. The reporter laughed again and stood walking over to shake my hand,

"Thank you so much."

"No problem," I stood and firmly shook her hand, while simultaneously pulling my mic off. Letting go she moved toward the photographer, no doubt wanting to see what he'd managed to catch and I passed the mic to a stagehand and made my way back to my entourage.

"Very funny," Elodie growled at me.

"I can already see the headline," I said while taking my heavy jacket from Elodie's arm, "Heedless Heiress Confirms Contempt for Shoes."

She swung my purse toward me while she grumbled, "and then we'd also own Vanity Fair."

I rolled my eyes at her, shrugging into my jacket and sloppily trying to free my hair, "oh wait. We already do."

"Girls. Girls. You're both pretty," Stellan drawled, as he reached forward and carefully tugged a straggling piece of hair out from under my jacket. His fingers curled around a pink highlight and slowly followed it all the way down. A chill raced down my spine, making me want to shiver, but I fought it. Instead, I focused on Elodie snapping something off in French. I stepped away, grabbing it all up into a quick bun on the back of my head and held my hand out to Elodie.

"You take your pretty self back to Riberton," she chastised him as she passed over a hairband to me. "We have important things to do."

My hair now up I looked over my shoulder to see Stellan's eyes burning into the offending bun. Or was it Elodie? Probably both. At that moment I realized I couldn't remember the last time he'd touched me, let alone my hair. This Groundhogs Day life we led felt like drunken, blurry, chaos most of the time for me. My phone and Elodie told me where I needed to go, cars took me to the places, people dressed me, fed me, I was just this object that needed to vomit back scripts and smile convincingly. But not with him. That had been the biggest pull of wanting to leave for me. I only wanted to be the person I saw reflected in his eyes. And yet here we were.

"You'll have to remind me again why fluff pieces fall into that category." He cracked back. "Because I'd love to switch places. Any day."

I spun on my heel and started clicking away from him before Elodie could get her barb in. It didn't matter what she said, it would be in French, and it's not like my opinion mattered anyway.

"What does this note say again?" I pointed to an X in the top right corner of the map, Elodie's neat handwriting was unfortunately in French. The plane shook a bit with some turbulence and I took a glance at Stellan across the table from me, glad for the space between us. He was glowering at the map, biting his lip in concentration. I looked back down, my chest contracting with misery. It was almost three weeks now since we'd rushed home because of Anya's accident. I kept waiting for someone to ask me what was wrong, why we were acting so strange, what had happened between us but I'd come to realize no one had asked because no one could tell. Except for Stellan and I.

Everyone outright ignored me, instead, Elodie pointed to another X on the map and said, "the Order did find some symbols there but it might just be a coincidence."

I wasn't all that surprised, despite everything we'd gone through collectively. I was quickly reduced to the equivalent of a floor lamp whenever the three of them were working through something together. Even though I was the one that had deciphered the mandate and figured out the riddles for the bracelets. The meeting today was a cumulation of months of Elodie's difficult liaising with the Order on some of the other, scarier, mandates we might have to deal with. It seemed I was only invited because they needed me to sign off on the next place to throw money at.

"Coincidence or the place had already been ransacked?" Stellan countered. Elodie shook her head,

"The Order was there first."

"This was a location the Circle didn't know about," Jack distractedly added still scanning the map. Stellan nodded and moved around the table toward my side. My stomach clenched and I bit down on my tongue and let out a breath slowly trying to keep my composure. He settled next to me and I relaxed a little and examined the map again, trying to decipher another note in French.

"Good work El," Stellan said straightening and reached between us to run his fingers through the ends of my hair. It was such a normal gesture between us, he'd done it probably hundreds of times now. But everything on me instantly recoiled away from him, like his fingers were snakes. I shook away from his touch, sidestepping to my right.

I felt everyone's eyes first look at the marked space between us, then Stellan's hand hanging in the air where I used to be, and finally between the two of us.

A curiously confused look passed over Jack and Elodie's faces and Jack lowly drawled, "alright then?"

I pressed my lips together, nodded and then curtly replied,

"I agree. Thank you, Elodie. If we're done here I have to get ready for this dinner." I turned and quickly retreated towards the back of the plane.

I wasn't even quite sure which country we were in at this latest ass-kissing dinner, things start to get blurry fast when the crew is always handing you champagne when you board the plane. Poland? Hungary? I suppose the food was good, what little I ate of it, but I was already bored by the conversation. It had been days of these meet and greets with Circle heads but it felt like weeks. The group of them laughed - hearty, inebriated laughs that drew the attention of the other patrons around us. I could feel their eyes, the diners trying to get a good shot of me at the table, the Vasilyev's gauging if they'd garnered our favor, Stellan. Always Stellan. I gave the table a tight smile and shook the ice around in my drink, watching the limes swirl with the vodka.

"It would mean so much to Yelena if you'd be able to come. The highlight of the night," Evgeni Vasilyev implored, leaning across the table toward me.

"The highlight of her wedding night?" Stellan joked. The group laughed again. I smiled at my drink as I took another gulp. As they settled all eyes turned to me and I shrugged,

"I'm with Stellan. You sure she wants me there?" I rose an eyebrow at Evgeni. "If Alistar could have gotten one more trip in I might have married a different Russian."

I winked at Evgeni and the table exploded in raucous laughter, all heads in the restaurant snapping toward us. Stellan ran a hand across my back, squeezing my shoulder a little too tight.

"Udivitel'no," Aleksandr Vasilyev pounded his chest with his fat fist, trying to break up a cough brought on by his laughter, "the two of you together is a sight to behold."

"It's all her," Stellan smiled as he dug his fingers in deeper. I sat up straight in acknowledgment and to force his hand off me. I tossed the rest of the vodka back, shaking the ice. Everyone followed suit as Stellan gave me a warning look, I loudly crunched the ice between my teeth in return. He's the one that insisted we come to this, he knew the price of admission.

"So it's settled then. The Winter Palace in February for the Vasilyev wedding." I rose my empty tumbler, the table followed, glasses clinking. Then I held it out to the waiter next to me, shaking the ice around, not even bothering to look at him as I added, "more limes this time."

"There is no way out of this. You have to go," Stellan commanded toward the phone on the dining room table between us. His giant iPhone was perched on top of his empty wine glass, amongst the remains of a dinner we'd both pretended to eat. Limes counted as fruit right?

"But I already told Cecilia that I would go to her family's winter house for skiing!" Anya whined over the line. It was a side of her I'd never witnessed before, and it was becoming increasingly annoying. Stellan, however, appeared bored by the whole exchange. With all the years he had on me with parenting her I'm sure this wasn't his first rodeo with this tactic.

"And who told you that was okay?" He demanded. "You know you have to clear these things with us."

"Jack said…" she tried.

"Don't you dare drag Jack into this. Jack isn't responsible for you," Stellan snapped. And I couldn't stop my head from shaking in disappointment. Already trying to throw Jack under the bus. We totally should have homeschooled her. All St. Lucia's had given us was lice and attitude.

"You're the worst!" She blurted. "You never let me do…"

"Dovol'no," I yelled over her outburst. "Perestan'te razgovarivat'! You are being disrespectful and selfish and I've heard enough of it. You will go to this Leap Year Ball. And you will not complain about it ever again. Understood?"

"Da, Avery," she sullenly replied.

"And pack your bag tonight. You're taking the chopper back to Riberton tomorrow. You can't come back with me after the open house, I have to stay a bit longer."

"Okay," she sighed. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," we both replied at the same time and the phone call abruptly ended. If we could have seen her I was pretty sure she'd be scowling at the phone. I threw back the rest of my drink in one swallow, still thrumming with annoyance. No one wanted to go to this Leap Year Ball, least of all me. But there was no way out of it, the entire Circle was going to be there. I didn't like the direction her attitude was taking lately - at all. She'd been challenging the two of us on literally everything since we'd come back. The color of her cast, how long she had to stay at Riberton, which gifts she was going to bring. What happened to the girl that was excited about seeing the ocean and played with Shopkins? Fucking St. Lucia's…

With my drink finished and the pleasant dulling of the senses hitting my veins I rose from the table to pour myself to bed. Stellan did as well, and I figured he'd just make his way to his office like he did every night. And I'd stumble into bed and shove a pillow between us like I did every night. And then I'd have a mimosa in the morning and continue slowly dying inside while ensconced in perfect couture.

"Avery?" He called out to my back and I looked over my shoulder in question. "Thank you."

"No problem," I gave him a small smile in return and then kept on my way toward the bedroom. But his footsteps continued to follow me.

"Please wait," he continued. "I was hoping to talk to you."

I stomped to a halt in the living room and spun around to face him, "so talk."

He blanched, not ready for my mood. Then swallowed hard, and this flash of warning went off in my chest. This wasn't going to be good.

"We didn't finish our discussion in the Maldives."

"Discussion," I flippantly grumbled as if that's what it was. He shot me a look that I returned with a glare.

"You just keep avoiding me and it's only making this worse."

"Like it matters," I let out a mirthless laugh. "I don't have a choice."

"But you don't have to be miserable doing it," he implored. I started storming away from him toward our room, his dress shoes clicking behind me in perfect pace.

"Contrary to your accusations in the Maldives," I snapped turning around to face him, "I am not interested in spilling more blood on my hands. I cannot handle one more person being murdered because they know me. So I'm here, and I'll stay here. But it doesn't mean I have to enjoy every minute of this life."

"Kuklachka," he reached forward, sliding his warm palms across my cheekbones to pull me toward him.

I wanted to jerk away. I really did want to but...his fingers raking through my hair, his lips on my forehead, even the smell of the expensive gel he put into his stupid hair mixed in my brain like a drug. Goosebumps flashed across every inch of my skin and I sighed, leaning my head heavily into his left palm. I needed more, thirsty for his touch. He stepped toward me, one hand sliding down my back, the other cradling my head to his chest. I melted further into him, wrapping my arms around his waist and pressing my ear harder against his ribcage to hear his heart beating madly in his chest. It was like I could finally breathe again. But this was why I'd kept my distance, this was why I'd blocked him out because I knew the moment he touched me everything was going to melt away - and I was still so angry with him.

"It's only for a couple more years," he murmured against my forehead. "Then you can move away from the spotlight if you wanted to."

"What are you saying?" I asked, pulling away from him and took a step back, now in the doorjamb of our bedroom. Then it hit me. What Collette had said in her text. "You mean children? I only have to kill myself over this bullshit for a couple more years before you yank me out of it to turn me into some baby factory?"

"That's not what I said," he immediately tried to pacify.

"I don't know which part of this is the most insulting."

"Avery…" he tried to cut in.

"Accusing me of not holding up my part of this bullshit truce we made. Or that you only need me to do it until I've paid my debt to this family."

"For fuck's sake," he threw his hands up, "that's not what I'm saying. You want an out. I found one for you."

"I just gotta put my legs up for it?" I sneered at him. Shock rippled across his face and he stood there, stunned. I could see in his eyes the panic as he tried to cobble together some kind of lie or justification or explanation to pacify me. But the time for that was over. I spun around ready to slam the door when he shoved his shoe in the doorjamb,

"Don't do this," he warned.

"Come back in three years and I'll do my duty." I lowly replied and then shoved the heel of my red-bottomed shoe into his shin, sending him off balance. He stumbled back, losing his grip on the doorframe and meet my eyes, wounded. I quickly slammed the door shut and locked it.

"Avery," he called out to me, as I heard his palm fall against the door. I put my hand on the door as well and then the other one over my mouth as hard as I could, the tears hot and fast down my face. We stood there for at least five minutes, a few inches of wood between us when he lightly knocked twice and then moved across the hall.