Chapter 35

Bellas POV

The weeks that followed Edward and I developed a kind of mutual silent agreement. When we hung out with his siblings we actually managed to act like we were just friends, or at least I thought we put on a pretty good show. Sometimes I'd see Emmett grinning at Edward when he thought I wasn't looking but by reading Edwards response, or should I say lack thereof, I'd figured that he probably knew nothing of his brother climbing my window every other night. Because that was what had changed between us since that night.

When Edward had first promised that he'd be back for more I hadn't expected him to come knocking right away. But he did. I'd just returned to my room after brushing my teeth when I heard a familiar sound by my window. As I went over to open it I was surprised to find Edward outside, even though I probably shouldn't have been seeing as there weren't that many boys throwing pebbles at my window in the middle of the night. In fact, there was only Edward.

"Did you think I was a man of empty promises?" he said jokingly when I'd opened the window and stuck out my head. I couldn't help myself from laughing. Sure, I'd seen my fair share of romantic comedies where a guy would show up outside a girls window with a boom box to declare his love in the middle of the night. But the difference between Edward and John Cusack was that in the movie the girl didn't have a police officer for a father. A police officer who slept next to his gun, might I add. Also I was wondering about Edwards parents. Sure, he was well behaved and a good kid so I was pretty sure his parents didn't feel the need to check in on him before going to bed but someone in his family had to take notice when he was gone all night. Or didn't they? Maybe the Jasper thing was more time consuming than I'd thought.

"No, I pretty much expected you to be back at some point", I answered still laughing, "I just didn't think you'd be such a daredevil. You know that Charlie would skin you alive if he found you here, right?" He flashed me a big smile and then proceeded to climb the tree that grew outside my window. I took a step back for him to be able to climb inside. "And here I was thinking that Charlie had such high thoughts about me", he said as he climbed through the window. "Yes, maybe someone should set him straight about who you really are then." For a while we just stood there, smiling at each other. Even though this was a situation I'd never been in before I could help but being glad that he'd come back so soon. In a sudden spur of emotions I went on to hugging him, encircling him in my embrace. At first he seemed a bit thrown by my move but he quickly grew soft in my arms. As he wrapped his arms around me I could sense him inhaling deeply with his nose buried in my hair. He stroked my hair and for a moment I almost thought I heard him humming a melody. We stood like that for a long while before letting go of each other.

Without saying anything he went over to my bedroom door and reached for the light switch. As the light went off the room was merely lit up by the pale moonlight, that was basically non existent this evening. I could see his silhouette in the dark, moving towards the bed. So, this seemed to be the plan for this evening. And for some reason I wasn't awkward when I saw Edward starting to remove his clothes and then climbing into my bed. I hesitated for a while, for even though I wasn't uncomfortable with the fact that Edward had just thrown his clothes I wasn't quite as comfortable undressing in front of him myself. "Nothing I haven't seen before", I heard him murmur from the bed and for a brief moment I thought I could see him smiling in the dark. Without answering him I unzipped my pants and wriggled out of them. I then proceeded to remove my sweater. Was I expected to remove my bra too, seeing as we'd probably get down to business soon, or was that being too presumptuous? I decided to keep my bra on, even if it was just for a little while.

When I went over to the bed I could see him eyeing me in the dark, looking pleased. He lifted the covers, willing me to get into bed with him. Well, you wouldn't hear me complaining. As I lied down next to him I could feel his cool, smooth body next to mine, merging with mine. I felt a shiver along my spine as he put his arms around me. I could feel him nuzzling his nose into my hair, once more breathing me in. "Tell me something about you that I don't know", he whispered all of a sudden. I could feel my heart beating faster and I could sense my palms growing sticky. Why was it that whenever Edward asked me to talk about myself I felt as if nothing in my life was even worth mentioning? It was as if the 17 years I'd lived before coming to Forks hadn't mattered at all, which was an absolutely ridiculous thought. I'd seen more of the US than most, my mother being an avid traveler always on the move. Sure, I hadn't been abroad ever but there were plenty of stories to tell about me. It was just that lying here with Edward made visiting the worlds biggest ketchup bottle seem small and stupid and not worthy of retelling.

"What do you want to know?" I asked, trying to buy myself some more time. "Everything I suppose", he answered. "Whatever you're willing to tell me really", he added. I thought long and hard and then opted for telling him about someone other than myself. "Have I told you that my mom had me when she was only 19?" It wasn't the most original subject but the thought of my mother having a baby at 19 had always amazed me. Here I was at 17 and the thought of me being able to take care of a child in two years seemed absolutely ludicrous. Knowing my mother I figured she hadn't been ready to be a mother at 19 either.

"No, you haven't. But I figured they'd have to be pretty young still. Charlie doesn't look a day over 40." "Yes, he actually turned 40 a couple of months ago", I answered. "So what was the deal? Was your mother extremely religious or was it an accident or what happened?" he proceeded to ask. "Um, well, I've only ever heard my mothers version of the story. Charlie doesn't like to talk about the past. I figure he still misses her. But the short version is that they were young, they didn't think things through and then my mother decided that she couldn't live her life here in Forks. So she took me with her and left Charlie here. Right now is the most time I've ever spent with Charlie. Growing up I'd only spend a week or two here every summer. Charlie would go out of his way to make me happy whenever I was visiting. I swear, he brought every kid in Forks over to our house just so I would be able to choose the perfect friend to play with. It took him a while to realize that I'm a natural loner." I laughed at the memory of Charlie lining up kids from every neighbourhood in Forks, but in the end they'd all just be playing with each other and I would be hiding behind a tree trying to read my book. He shouldn't have been so surprised though, seeing as he himself had always been a lone wolf.

"So what's it like living with the father that you never really knew?" Edward asked and I was surprised by the curiosity in his voice. He really did seem to find this interesting. "It's a lot better than I expected actually. We're alike in many ways so it's not hard getting along. In a way this suits me better than living with my mom. She has always been so worried by the fact that I'd rather be reading my books than hanging out at the mall with my friends. Charlie isn't like that, even though he follows my moms orders to check up on me to make sure that I'm not isolating myself. In a way I can be myself in a way that I never could in Phoenix, it's like getting a new start. And anyways, I have more friends here than I ever had in Phoenix. My mom should be proud of me", I stated.

"But you did have friends in Phoenix. At least one. What were they like?" There it was again, that obvious curiosity about my past. "Are you asking about Dan?" I sighed, suddenly realizing what he was getting at. "Well, I'm just curious about what about Dan makes him worth brooding over", he answered, suddenly sounding like a sullen little boy. Sometimes I forgot that Edward was a boy who'd made his interest known to me just a couple of weeks ago and here I was jabbering on about my past in Phoenix. How would I have felt if it had been the other one around? If I had been the one pining over someone who was heartsick over their ex? But on the other hand this was a situation he'd chosen himself. I'd made it clear to him that I wasn't about to be his next girlfriend and he couldn't expect me to pretend like I didn't have a past to not hurt his feeling. Could he?

"Why would you want to hear that, Edward? It's all in the past anyhow, it's not like you'll ever meet him", I snorted, trying to close the subject. "That's just the thing, I'll never meet him. Imagine how curious I must be. What is so special about Dan?" he continued, obviously not letting the subject go. Was this some kind of masochistic act on Edwards part? Was hearing about how great Dan was going to make it easier for him to accept the fact that my head and heart was still filled with Dan? Or was this just pure curiosity about why I was so obsessed with Dan? Either way I felt that there would be no winning party in this discussion. "So?" he insisted and I decided to give him what he asked for, if only to shut him up.

"Well, what's so great about Dan…", I finally sighed. "He is smart. Smarter than most I reckon. He reads everything that comes in his way and he has an opinion about everything. Not in a know it all kind of way, just the I'm naturally smart kind of way. He's funny. He has a morbid sense of humor and he always knows how to make me laugh. He is kind and he listens. He'd remember the most seemingly trivial details like it was nothing. He'd always include me, even though his friends thought I was a bit of a weirdo at first. He'd come up with most original ideas of things to do. I remember this one time when he'd read this book about a man who built a kite and he was dead set on the fact that we'd make one too. We spent hours and hours finishing that kite and our parents thought we were way too old to be building kites. I thought so too I think. But it was way worth it the way he lit up when we finally finished the kite. There were thousands of things like that. We had this scrapbook where we collected all the ideas of the things we'd do once we'd finished college." I paused for a second.

"He just got me, you know. People like that don't come along that often. It was the first time I felt like I belonged with someone and it's taken quite a toll on me letting that go. I know that this probably isn't the last time I'm going to feel that way about someone. I know it isn't. But right know that's the way it feels. I spoke to my mom yesterday and she'd mentioned that she'd bumped into Dan the other day. She said he'd told her he'd been trying to get in touch with me. I know I shouldn't want that seeing as he's probably only making contact to justify himself, but some part of me wonders what it is that he wants to tell me. Even though I shouldn't want to hear it." I paused again.

"Anyhow, I'm just doing my best to get over him. It's not gonna do any of us any good talking about him now. I know you're curious and I kind of suspect why, but just try to let it go. I'm not particularly keen on talking about him. It makes forgetting him harder", I said and then tried to read Edwards response to what I'd just told him. He remained silent for a long while.

"I'm sorry", he said at last ,"I ignored the fact that my curiosity could be hurtful to you. I'm sorry about that." He then went silent and I felt myself getting nervous. Was he going to leave now? Had the subject become too serious? But after all he had been the one asking questions. It wasn't more than fair that he'd handle the answers he got to his questions. "I'm sorry. I think you're doing the right thing, ignoring him completely. I find that when things get hard the best thing is just focusing on something else. I think I'm asking because I'm not used to having to work very hard for what I want. This is just a new situation for me is all." I tried my hardest reading what he'd just said, but I couldn't even read his mood. "I suppose it's just me being insecure about myself, I'm not used to comparing myself to others. I think being close to you like this makes me question if I'm good enough", he whispered. I still couldn't read his mood. Was he irritated? Angry? Hurt? "I'm fine", he proceeded to say, as if he'd known what I was thinking. "This is just another case of curiosity killed the cat. I'm not used to being close to someone like this and I just think it's messing with my head a bit." Now his tone of voice was light and I could sense him pressing his lips against my forehead.

Some part of me wanted to tell him that if hanging out with me was messing with his head then he should probably just go. But then there was this other part of me that didn't agree at all. The part that was fine with his feelings being all jumbled by me as long as I didn't have to lie here alone in my bed. Was I using this boy as my comfort blanket?

"I promise I'm fine with this situation", he added, once more reading my thoughts. "But if you feel like comforting me I know a thing or two that might help." I could feel his right hand unhooking my bra and before I'd had time to react he was taking it off. At first I felt like protesting that this wasn't the appropriate time seeing as we'd just talked about some pretty heavy stuff, but the next second I could feel his lips closing around me nipple and I suddenly wasn't as opposed to the idea. Feeling his lips trailing down my stomach convinced me even more that this was in fact a good idea and when he went on to slide my panties to the side with his teeth I was no longer in the mood of protesting.