Chapter 35

Bilbo woke sometime in the middle of the night, consciousness flooding back in like the flip of a light switch. It had become something of a habit recently, since they'd started sleeping somewhere other than the farm.

He shifted slightly, taking in the strange angles of the room. After a moment, it came back to him. They were all crowded in the living room of Bard's house. Óin was sitting by the door, his rifle lying across his lap. Bard had taken his children upstairs at some point, and was probably standing guard as well.

His gaze fell to the solid form beside him. At some point, Thorin must have lain down next to him, though they had barely spoken to each other since the motel. He was facing away from him, but Bilbo could tell from the rise and fall of his chest that he was awake.

He wound an arm around Thorin's chest, hugging him close. He pressed his forehead against Thorin's back and listened to him breathe.

After a minute, Thorin shifted, and Bilbo moved back to let him roll over. Even in the dim light, he could see the exhaustion weighing on his face, the ever-deepening shadows beneath his eyes.

"Still can't sleep?" he whispered.

Thorin let out a soft grunt that might have been a reply. "We just need to make it there. To Erebor."

"That's all you can think about."

He hadn't meant it as an accusation, but Thorin still lowered his gaze. "I shouldn't have…pushed you away, back at the motel. I'm sorry."

"You've been a little obsessed, lately. It wouldn't kill you to take a step back and look at the big picture."

His expression darkened slightly. "We need to make it to somewhere safe. That is the big picture. I just don't want anyone else getting hurt."

"I know." Bilbo sighed. He didn't feel like arguing this particular point at the moment.

"We're close. It shouldn't take more than a day to reach the mountain from here."

"And afterwards?" Bilbo asked. He was thinking about locking Thorin in a bedroom and not letting him out until he'd gotten a full eight hours. "When we make it inside…what then?"

"We'll have to make sure everything is fully operational—the security systems, the generator, air filtration. Everything is powered by a hydroelectric—" He stopped as Bilbo put a hand on his cheek, resting one thumb over his lips.

"That's not what I mean. Let's say every single thing is in perfect condition, we've got enough rations to last us seventy years, and we get everyone from the farm to Erebor. What are you going to do then?"

Thorin was silent, even after Bilbo moved his hand so he could speak. His brow furrowed slightly. "There's always going to be something to do."

Bilbo let out a soft laugh. "I know. There always is with you. I meant something more." He moved his thumb again, tracing light patterns across his beard. "You know, when we were living at the farm, Óin was working on his poetry. Bofur told me he built that cabin mostly for fun. Ori painted that mural on the side of the barn." He smiled slightly. "I'm thinking about writing a book."

Thorin raised an eyebrow. "You want me to get a hobby."

"I want you to start living. Not just surviving." He searched Thorin's face, all traces of humor gone. "That's all I want for you. I just want you to find something that makes you happy."

Thorin looked at him for a long moment, something like sadness swimming in his blue eyes. He reached out, pulling Bilbo closer and wrapping both arms around him. Bilbo settled into the embrace, leaning his head against Thorin's chest.

"Bilbo…"

But whatever Thorin had been going to say, he didn't finish it. He lay there in silence, and Bilbo listened to the low drumbeat of his heart until his breaths had finally evened out.

"Is that it?" Bilbo asked.

Thorin nodded, his eyes fixed on the hulking shape at the top of the slope. Their group was crouched in the brush, looking up the mountainside at the reinforced steel door set in the rock.

It had been a rather treacherous journey upwards, having to walk through the brush and up rocky inclines to finally reach their goal. At Thorin's insistence, they'd left their cars at the chain-link fence that skirted the lower slopes and continued on foot to avoid the security cameras marked on the map in Thorin's notes.

They'd left Bard's house in relatively high spirits, both from a good, hot meal and the chance to meet people that weren't trying to kill them. The journey had been quiet so far, and now a breathless anticipation settled on the group as they finally set eyes on the thing they'd come so far to find. The sun was descending in the sky, giving them about an hour left of daylight.

"What now?" Bofur asked.

"We find the vent," Thorin said, checking the map he'd stowed in his pocket. "Should be no more than a twenty minute's walk from here." He turned to Nori, who nodded.

"No!" Ori clamped a hand on his brother's shoulder. "You're not going in there."

Nori glanced at him. "The hell are you talking about?"

Ori met his gaze, jaw set. "I've been watching you since the train station. You try and hide it, but you can barely walk. I'm not letting you go in there, not with your injury."

Nori looked back at Thorin, who looked away as a flash of guilt appeared in his eyes. He'd been too focused on Erebor to really take into account anyone's injuries, including his own. But to be fair, Bilbo reasoned, Nori had also been making an effort to hide it.

It was a bit of a weak point in their plan, now that he thought about it. They needed someone small to enter the vent, and the only people small enough to do it besides Nori were Ori, who was missing a hand, and Fíli, and no one really felt like letting him into a mountain inhabited by a potential psychopath.

They had only Ori, Fíli…and himself.

Bilbo sighed and straightened. "I'll go."

Everyone turned to him with various looks of protest, which he intended to put to rest as soon as possible.

"Someone has to do it, and I'm not injured. Now, let's get a move on before we lose any more daylight."

He met Thorin's eyes. There was something like fear there, but after a moment, he sighed and nodded.

"Wait here, and watch the door," he said to the others, then turned to Bilbo. "Let's go."

He slipped the crowbar from their duffel bag of extra weapons, and the two of them started through the brush, heading west.

They moved in silence, walking through shadows and orange light. Thorin had to check the map a few times to make sure they were heading in the right direction, so Bilbo kept his gun at the ready in case any walkers (or people) were lurking in the trees.

Too soon, they'd reached the vent. It was nothing more than a small, rusted grate in the side of the hill, half-hidden by brush. Thorin pulled away a handful of branches, then used the crowbar to pry it open. The metal came apart with a screech and a snap, making them both tense, but the woods remained still and silent.

Thorin straightened, but stood by the metal shaft, like he was afraid Bilbo was going to climb inside without saying anything. After a moment, he lifted his gaze. "Can I ask you something?"

Bilbo felt a small, sad smile lift his lips. "Something that can't wait?"

"Why did you come with me this far? After everything..." He swallowed, letting the painful end to his sentence hang in the air.

"I meant what I said that night. I want you to be happy. I want this place for us, for Fili and Kíli and Gimli and everyone else. And I want this for you. Because I love you."

The words slipped out, nearly surprising him, but hearing it out loud didn't scare him. He was only unhappy that he'd waited until this moment to say it, and that somehow it felt like a goodbye.

Thorin stared at him for a long time. Bilbo couldn't quite identify the emotion in his eyes, but he looked like he was drowning in it.

He stepped forward, cupping Bilbo's face in both hands, and pulled him into a kiss. Bilbo kissed him back, taking in the feel of him, the warmth of his touch, the indomitable strength that never seemed to leave him. For a moment, he was afraid that Thorin wouldn't let go, and that he wouldn't have the strength to pull away, either.

But then Thorin moved back, leaving only an inch of space between them, breath hitching like he wanted to say something. Bilbo put both hands on his cheeks, gently stroking through his beard, and smiled. It was enough, for the moment, to hold him close.

After another minute, Thorin dropped his hands to his sides and stepped away so Bilbo would have access to the vent.

"It's been a long time since I've been inside," he said. "But if my memory serves me, the entrance should be on the first floor. There are several basement and upper levels, but there should be signs to guide you. The door should be easy to open, and…we'll be waiting for you."

Bilbo forced a smile, and closed his hands into fists so he wouldn't be tempted to reach out. This wasn't a goodbye. He was going to see Thorin and the others soon, probably in another fifteen minutes if everything went according to plan.

He tried to ignore the feeling in his gut that was telling him it wouldn't.

"And if Smaug is still in there…" Thorin laid a hand on his shoulder, a fierce light coming into his eyes. "Do not engage. Find a way to let us in, and we'll take him down together."

Bilbo nodded, trying not to frown too deeply. It still didn't sit right with him, what the others planned to do. But there was no way to tell what was going to happen until they were already inside. At this point, he doubted that he could convince Thorin to change his course.

"I'll see you soon, then."

Thorin opened his mouth, and again seemed on the verge of saying something, but he only dipped his head and retrieved a pair of walkies from his pack. "I don't know if the signal will reach, but we can try and stay in touch with these."

"Alright." He clipped the walkie to his belt, then crouched down in front of the vent.

"Be safe," Thorin said quietly, like he was afraid saying it out loud would confirm the danger Bilbo was walking into.

"I will," he whispered back, then turned and began crawling inside the cramped, musty space.

They'd come to Erebor armed to the teeth with knives and guns, had enough food for another two weeks, and had packed plenty of other survival tools.

Bilbo was beginning to wonder why no one had thought to bring a duster.

The inside of the vent was covered in dust, which was only a little better than the layer of grime that covered the first few feet past the entrance. The stuff had quickly turned his hands black and clung to his skin, making his palms feel uncomfortably dry.

His muscles were already aching from moving through the cramped space, which showed no signs of ending. The tiny flashlight clamped between his teeth only lit up the gray space a few feet in front of him, and was really only useful for illuminating spiderwebs right before he crawled into them.

If he was being honest with himself, it was easier to think about the physical discomforts he was experiencing rather than his growing dread of what he was going to find at the end of this metal shaft.

He didn't like the idea of being stuck in a strange compound with a potential psychopath lurking somewhere inside. But he'd faced evil men before. What really worried him was the possibility that Smaug was a sane, rational person—selfish, perhaps, but not bent on killing any of them.

If it came to it, would he be able to persuade the others to spare his life? He didn't know if Thorin would allow something like that, after everything. And if he wasn't, he didn't like to think what that would mean for their relationship.

I love you. He had no intention of taking the words back, but he felt cold inside every time he remembered Thorin's silence after the fact. The way he'd kissed him could have meant anything, but it hadn't really been the right moment to ask.

Bilbo sighed and closed his eyes. After this was over, when they were in a safe place and had a moment alone, they were going to have to talk.

A glint up ahead caught his eye, and he sped up his pace as much as he could. He'd finally reached the end of the shaft, which had luckily been a straight shot, but now his path was blocked by the grate on the other side.

Bilbo clicked off his flashlight and stowed it in his pocket, then peered through the metal slats. The space on the other side was dim, but he could make out the general shape of the hallway, and the seven-foot drop to the floor.

He pushed against the grate, which held fast, and let out a low grumble. He should have asked Thorin for the crowbar, though he wasn't sure he'd be able to use it in the small space.

Sliding his knife from his belt, he wedged the blade in the small crack between the grate and the wall. After a few moments of twisting and prying, it began to come loose, and he lifted one hand to give it a shove. It broke loose from the wall and clattered against the floor, sending a ringing echo through the hall.

"Shh," he hissed at it and ducked back into the vent, panic making his pulse thunder in his ears. He waited long enough that his legs began to cramp up from the uncomfortable position, but no one came to investigate.

Maybe whoever was inside hadn't heard the noise. Or maybe, he hoped desperately, there was no one inside to hear it.

After another few minutes, he shimmied out of the vent and fell to the floor, landing rather painfully on his back. With a wince, he pushed himself up and pulled the walkie from his belt.

"I made it in."

No response.

With a frown, Bilbo put it away and looked around. The hallway was rather nondescript, just plain white walls and a few pipes running along the surface. A red box with a fire extinguisher was attached to the wall a few feet away.

If he'd come around the west side of the mountain, then keeping to the right would hopefully bring him back to the general area of the front door. Clicking on his flashlight, Bilbo began walking.

His footsteps sounded thunderously loud in the blankness of the hallway, and he caught himself tip-toeing a few times. But he didn't have time for stealth. His best bet was to find the door and open it as quickly as possible.

The hallway turned a corner, revealing another nondescript corridor. Bilbo swung his flashlight beam over a door to the left. It was painted white too, and unlabeled. He was wondering if there was a map of the interior anywhere, or if he was even on the right floor, when a voice crackled out of the darkness.

"Hello?"

Bilbo felt his heart stop for a moment. He swung his flashlight around, casting erratic, flitting beams over the white walls. His other hand gripped his gun so tight it hurt. "W-Who's there?"

"Oh, you can't see me." A hissing noise that might have been a chuckle issued from the wall, and Bilbo realized it was coming from a speaker. "But I'm watching you through the security cameras."

He found the speaker nestled in one corner, and a small camera next to it. Apprehension prickled on the back of his neck.

"I can see outside, too. Are those your friends, waiting by the front?"

Bilbo swallowed, finding his mouth was suddenly dry. "W-We didn't know anyone was already in here. They sent me t-to let them in." Half a truth seemed better than a complete lie.

"Ah. That's understandable. I haven't been outside in a while." His voice was relaxed, conversational. He sounded almost glad.

"I-I don't want anyone to get hurt," Bilbo said, and that was at least mostly true. "We, uh, we can talk this out. We don't have to fight."

"You want to let your friends in? You look a little lost right now."

The lights turned on, and Bilbo flinched as bright white filled his vision. He looked up, blinking painfully, and realized the entire length of the hallway had been illuminated. He took a couple steps forward. Some unnamed dread was screaming at him to run.

"Just tell me where the door is. I'll let my people in, and we can talk about this." He hated the way his voice was wavering.

"Oh, don't bother. I'll let them in myself."

There was a low sliding sound, then a breath that crackled through the speaker, like he'd leaned closer to deliver one final sentence:

"And then you can watch them die."

So I was looking back on my outline, and I had a note for that scene where Bilbo enters the mountain, and THAT was supposed to be the love confession scene. Can you imagine? Anyway, I obviously didn't have the patience to wait that long, and I think I made the right choice.

I also want to say real quick that I just realized this site doesn't email me every time I get a PM, so if I haven't been responding to messages from y'all, it's because I read them for the first time yesterday (insert clown emoji). I will try to check my inbox more often lol