Sasuke's No Good Very Bad Teammates
Summary: Naruto and Sakura have gone insane.
Or: Just after becoming Team 7 Naruto and Sakura go through a massive shift in personality, leaving Sasuke out of the loop and wondering what in the name of sanity could have happened to them. His only consolation is that Kakashi is just as weirded out as he is.
Chapter 26
Spending time with his brother wasn't easy. Bonding with his teammates in the early stages felt like a pleasant evening stroll in comparison.
Luckily both Sasuke and Itachi were stubborn in their own way. No matter the awkwardness of a faltering conversation or the leftover tension of their rocky history, Sasuke and Itachi both refused to fail and give up on the second chance they had decided to give each other. It took time, and time was something they had plenty of.
Even as their conversations became smoother and easier to carry, and even as Itachi started gathering more people willing to give him a tentative second chance, Sasuke noticed that both he and his partner grew restless. Staying in one place for a long time wasn't an option for a missing nin. Itachi and Kisame were used to travelling, much more so and for a much longer time than Team 7 was.
On some level, Sasuke realized that he was the only reason Itachi and Kisame had stayed as long as they had.
"We're going to be leaving soon," Sasuke admitted one evening, sitting at the counter of Ichiraku's with a steaming bowl of noodles in front of him.
Most other people – civilians and shinobi alike – kept their distance from the restaurant as long as he and his brother were there. Teuchi didn't so much as bat an eyelash towards the situation and shut down their plan to stop coming altogether, insisting that they were welcome as long as they kept things civil. In exchange, the brothers made sure to never stay longer than they needed to.
"We've already been here much longer than we planned."
Itachi did not say anything in return. He rarely did, unless asked a specific question. Sasuke had begun to puzzle out his brother bit by bit, one failed conversation at a time.
"What are you going to do once we're gone?"
Itachi took his time to answer. He stirred around his leftover noodles and paused as Teuchi leaned over to refill his bowl. He looked down at his food as though he couldn't explain how it had gotten there.
"Thank you," Sasuke muttered in Itachi's place, and Itachi gave a belated nod of acknowledgement.
"I am... uncertain," Itachi said, picking up his chopsticks hesitantly. "I do not think Kisame and I will stay for long."
Sasuke had thought as much. He pressed his lips together, trying not to imagine Itachi going right back to his old life as a missing nin. He didn't like the thought of his brother being a hunted criminal, never in one place for long and without anywhere to call his home.
Would it be easy to slip right back into old habits? Would he forget everything that had happened between them in these last few weeks?
"Are you going to come back?" Sasuke asked, rather than voicing any of those thoughts.
"Are you?"
Sasuke blinked. "Of course."
"Then yes."
Sasuke frowned. That answer wasn't what he'd been hoping for. "So you're just going to come ho– to Konoha because of me? Only when you know that I'm here as well?"
What about Yamato? What about the Root kids and their sessions? What about Kakashi? Had none of it meant anything to Itachi? Hadn't he seen the value in all that he'd done?
"... No," Itachi admitted quietly after a brief moment to collect his thoughts. "I believe it will be more often than that. Staying here has been… nice. And knowing that there is a chance to see each other again will be enough."
"So you will keep seeing Yamato and the others?" Sasuke pressed.
Itachi hesitated. "Yes. I believe I will."
Relief flooded Sasuke's chest, coupled with satisfaction. It had taken time and effort for Itachi to reach this point. He didn't want his brother to throw it all away as soon as Sasuke was no longer there to hold him accountable.
Their relationship had been codependent for a long time. Sasuke in that his only goal for years had been his revenge on his brother, Itachi in that his entire motivation and the last shred of his humanity had been centered around keeping Sasuke safe (in his own, twisted definition of it). It was time for them to go their separate ways for a while. It was time for them to live their own lives.
Naruto and Sakura had been ready to leave only shortly after they had arrived, but they'd decided to give Sasuke space. Now that he had achieved what he'd wanted to – now that he and his brother had split on neutral terms and with the prospect of seeing each other again – it was time for them to continue their journey.
"I don't think I'll ever get used to this," Kakashi admitted, holding out their traveling bags with thinly veiled reluctance. In stark contrast to the first few of their visits, they had marched straight past the guards rather than shake them off in an elaborate chase.
"You could always just join us." Naruto had put up her hair in a braid in preparation for their departure. She'd changed in time for one last girls' night out and wore a loose, comfortable outfit Tenten had insisted for her to keep upon noticing that Naruto was beginning to outgrow her own clothes.
It almost suited her, and it was still orange, although a much lighter shade of it. After so many years spent next to the eyesore that had been Naruto's fashion choices, the lack of bright orange looked more than a little strange.
"She's right, you know." Sakura had cut her hair by another few inches. "The invitation is open. You're always welcome to come with us."
Sasuke didn't sport a new outfit or hairdo – he'd been glad to find out that Sakura was decent with a pair of scissors and able to keep his hair somewhat consistent during their travels – but he carried a new batch of training scrolls from their various acquaintances from the village. He'd also kept the tanto he'd tentatively accepted from Itachi. He had no intention of replacing his sword with anything else, but it was always a good idea to have an alternative to fall back on.
"I haven't mastered that lightning technique of yours yet," Sasuke added to what his teammates had said. "You could keep teaching me."
Something in Kakashi's eyes softened. Sasuke wasn't the best at placing emotions but he could have sworn that something akin to longing entered his gaze.
"I can't. Not right now."
"But why?" Naruto's eyes took on a stubborn glint. "I know you started helping out the other rookies and stuff – and that's great! I'm super glad for you – but don't you think they'll be fine for a while? Just for a few weeks of travelling? We'd love to have you along."
Conflicting emotions flickered over Kakashi's face, and he averted his gaze as though fighting with himself. "It's not this easy for me. I can't just drop everything and leave when I'm not being ordered to."
Another pause followed, this one briefer than the last.
"Go without me this time. Let me take care of some things. And the next time you come back," Kakashi's mask wrinkled in a smile. "If you still want me to join you then, I'll do so gladly."
Sakura's face broke out into a grin. Naruto pumped her fist and yelled, "Yes!" Sasuke crossed his arms and allowed his lips to curve in a small, pleased smile.
"You won't regret it, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto bounced on her heels, sporting a bright beam. "I'm telling you, travelling with us will be awesome. We'll take you to meet Gaara and the others again! Or we'll try to find that one village we stumbled over, the one with the forest gardens. Or, oh! Kiri's probably still not thrilled about visitors, but you'll be with us, so I bet it'll be fine."
"I'm... looking forward to it," Kakashi said dryly, not quite looking as though he was regretting his decision yet.
"Fair warning while you're still here," Sakura chimed in, "we invited some more people over. Well. Mostly Naruto did."
"Oh, yeah! Be nice to them when they come over, will you?"
Kakashi's expression grew strained. "I see." He looked as though he almost didn't want to ask. "What kind of people?"
"Just friends of ours," Naruto unhelpfully offered. Seeing as Naruto considered everybody her friend who stood close to her long enough, she wasn't exactly narrowing down the list. "Don't worry, you'll be fine."
Kakashi seemed to barely hold in a sigh. "I'll take your word for it."
Team 7 set off into the forest and soon lost sight of Kakashi.
They debated their next destination. Even with the major five villages out of the way, there were plenty of villages left to explore. So many in fact – especially considering those that did not appear on any map – that Sasuke questioned whether it was even possible to visit them all.
"We could start at the beginning and visit Suna," Naruto suggested, casting half a glance at their map. "Or, you know. We could pick a direction and just keep going. We're bound to end up somewhere new eventually."
"Suna's fine." Sasuke touched the hilt of his sword, wondering how he'd fair in a match against either of the sand siblings now that he had truly began to master his weapon. "We could use the trek through the desert for training."
Sasuke was determined to master the new lighting technique, whether Kakashi was there to instruct him or not. Naruto and Sakura not being able to help – seeing as Sasuke had shown an affinity for lightning techniques that they didn't – only strengthened his resolve.
Sakura hummed. "We could do that," she said slowly, "but I've been considering paying a visit to Ame, first."
"Ame?" The corner of Naruto's mouth tugged downwards. "You sure about that?"
"Jiraiya mentioned it back in Konoha," Sakura said in reply to Sasuke's questioning gaze. "I've heard rumors about it before that."
"Like back in Kiri?" Sasuke asked, thinking of the dictatorship and the resulting civil war they had helped to put a stop to.
"Something like that, yeah."
Naruto hesitated. "It might be risky. We have no idea what's going on over there."
Sasuke suppressed a scoff. When had risks ever stopped them before? "Let's do it," he decided. "We can train on our way and figure it out once we get there."
Halfway to Ame, Sasuke and his teammates stumbled over a sight that had the potential to bring their journey to a brief, impromptu halt.
"Should we be worried?" Sasuke asked, too late to do anything about the situation unfolding in front of them.
They watched as Orochimaru's (former?) disciple, Kabuto, threw himself off of his perch on a nearby tree, a drawn dagger aimed at Tsunade's turned back.
Naruto had time to utter a nondescript "Erm," before the blade pierced Tsunade's body and made her crumble to the ground. Kabuto landed beside her, panting.
Tsunade's body disappeared in a puff of smoke. The real Tsunade didn't so much as look up from where she was bent over some sort of scroll. "Nice try, brat. You're improving."
Kabuto didn't react in any way appropriate for a failed assassination attempt. His expression remained unchanged and tension dropped out of his muscles. He didn't look surprised at his failure. He didn't even look disappointed.
"If you keep it up, you might be able to give me a bruise a couple weeks from now." Surprisingly, Tsunade somehow made the words sound encouraging rather than an insult.
More surprisingly, Kabuto seemed to take them as such. "Thank you, Tsunade-sama."
Sasuke turned his head to see Naruto mouth, "Are they bonding?" at Sakura. Sakura gave a clueless shrug, pinning incredulous eyes on Tsunade.
"Are you done for today?" came Shizune's long-suffering question as she entered the clearing carrying firewood. Her eyes twitched over to Team 7. "In case you haven't realized, we've got guests."
Tsunade looked up to follow Shizune's gaze. "Oh. It's you."
Kabuto stiffened at the sight of them. Sasuke almost expected him to charge at them fueled by revenge fantasies – he doubted Kabuto had forgiven them for capturing his old master – but he merely watched them out of wary, calculating eyes.
"It's us!" Naruto unnecessarily confirmed, making up for Tsunade's lack of enthusiasm with ridiculous cheerfulness. "Did you miss us?"
"Horribly," Tsunade deadpanned. She put away the scroll she'd been reading and crossed her arms. "To what do we owe the pleasure? I'm not accepting any other ninja brats, if that's what you think."
"Oh, please. He can't be that bad." Naruto faltered. "Um. Is... is he?"
Tsunade let out a huff. She didn't look at either of them when she said, "Well. I suppose after a while he does begin to grow on you."
"... Didn't he try to assassinate you just now?"
Tsunade waved a dismissive hand. "You've got your way of passing the time, we've got ours. It's not like he's ever getting close to succeeding."
Kabuto's eyes narrowed in irritation.
Shizune shook her head and sighed, sporting an air of exasperation that belonged to somebody long since used to their antics.
"Get to the point, brats." Tsunade frowned at them. "Don't think we didn't hear about the stunts you pulled while you were away. What do you want this time?"
"Did you seriously build up a therapy program for shinobi?" Shizune asked.
"Well. Uh. Indirectly, I guess?" Naruto carded a hand through her hair absentmindedly. "We didn't actually try to do that – although we definitely should have, now that you mention it – it just kind of worked out this way?"
Tsunade snorted a laugh. "Sounds about right. Nobody in their right mind would be able to cause your sort of lunacy on purpose. Did you know the other villages have as good as slowed to a standstill while they try to figure out what's going on in Konoha? Spies and couriers are running left and right trying to keep up with everything that's been happening."
That was fair enough, Sasuke supposed. There were jinchūriki, missing nin and foreigners walking in and out of Konoha because of them. At least two of the other four big villages had as good as proclaimed their alliance to Konoha as a result of their leaders having befriended his team.
Sasuke and his teammates had never really taken an interest in politics, but it seemed as though they had stirred up the playing field solely because of their refusal to accept Konoha's rules and limitations.
"Almost makes me tempted to pay a visit myself," Tsunade muttered. "I'd pay money to watch Sarutobi attempt to clean up after your messes."
Naruto perked up. "Really? You'd consider coming back?"
"Not a chance. He proclaimed me a missing nin because I refused to bow to his word, remember?"
"What about later, then? Once the old man is no longer Hokage?"
"We know you're not happy with Konoha," Sakura said, "but things are going to change. They already have."
"I'll believe that when I see it." Tsunade turned her gaze away from them. She hesitated and sighed. She sounded tired when she said, "What are you doing here? I'm sure you've got better things to do."
"We're in no rush." Naruto let herself drop close to Tsunade and seemed to barely have the self-preservation not to scoot closer. "Say, how's Kabuto been doing?" She didn't wait for an answer before adding, "I told you you'd get along splendidly. Or I would have, had we stuck around. Did you know Sasuke has been learning medical techniques from Sakura?"
Tsunade closed her eyes in a long-suffering way and seemed to prepare herself for a drawn out session of catching up.
Sasuke realized that he could keep up with the others' medical talk, and spent his day in an odd mixture of disbelief and glee. Perhaps "keep up" was too generous of a term. The more complicated concepts and techniques went right over his head, but he was able to participate and learn from their discussions thanks to the weeks he had thus far spent under Sakura's tutorage.
If Naruto was bothered by being the only one who didn't practice medicine – and was as such unable to join in on their conversations – she didn't let it show. She sat beside them mindlessly scribbling and shot Sakura the occasional smug look.
Sakura, too absorbed in their increasingly heated discussion, didn't notice.
Their conversation eventually led to the body's ability to store chakra.
"It's arguably the biggest weakness of the standard human," Kabuto said, pushing up his glasses with one hand. "Lacking weapons, a shinobi can procure more if their surroundings allow for it, or else fall back onto ninjutsu. Lacking the practical skill for that, there's still taijutsu. But once they run out of chakra, their body will simply lack the energy to keep going."
"Unless you're unlucky enough to have a rampaging chakra demon sealed inside of you," came Tsunade's harsh retort. "You'd be more likely to run your body ragged than run out of chakra."
Sasuke threw a glance at Naruto. Her paintbrush hovered above the fuinjutsu scroll she was crouched over in a position that could not possibly be comfortable, emerged in her studies to the degree that she didn't notice Sasuke's gaze.
It was true: despite Naruto throwing around chakra-intense techniques left and right wherever they went, Sasuke had yet to see his teammate suffer from even mild chakra exhaustion afterwards.
"It would make an interesting topic to study," Kabuto went on. "If we procured a test subject and exposed their chakra coils, we could test their reaction to different kinds of–"
"Woah, hold on," Sakura interrupted. "When you say 'expose', do you mean–?"
"Carve open," Sasuke guessed. As morbid as the mental image was, considering who Kabuto's teacher had been for several years, he wasn't exactly surprised at his lacking sense of morals.
"We'd obviously put the body in a state of stasis so it wouldn't shut down while conducting the experiment," Kabuto reassured, missing the actual issue by a mile. "We'd keep it from going into shock by–"
"No." Shizune's voice carried an atypical harshness. "We'll do no such thing."
Kabuto blinked. "But if we do not take precautions, the subject will reach its physical limits long before–"
"I meant," Shizune interrupted, exasperation seeping into her tone, "that we will not experiment on a human being to discover more about chakra thresholds."
Kabuto blinked, again. "We... We could... ask for their permission first?"
"Good job remembering consent," Shizune praised. "But still, no."
"But how else are we going to–" Kabuto cut himself off, faced with Shizune's blank stare. His lips pressed together in what could be either irritation or confusion. His voice was hesitant and unsure when he started another attempt. "We could... study on animals instead?"
"That'll have to be good enough for now," Shizune sighed, clearly not satisfied but counting her blessings in the longtime effort of redeeming somebody who'd spent years under Orochimaru's teachings. She patted Kabuto's shoulder in a way that might have been meant to be reassuring but came across as consoling more than anything.
Kabuto stiffened under Shizune's touch, and she let go quickly. Her expression suggested that she'd gotten somewhat used to Kabuto's company.
"Look," she began, her tone considerably softer than before, "I know this isn't easy for you. Life with Orochimaru must have been... quite different." She paused. "I appreciate the effort you're putting into this. I really do."
Kabuto squirmed under Shizune's gaze. "It is... difficult to accept that everything I'd thought to be normal might not be. Everything is... different. It's hard to get used to."
"I do hope you're starting to see that casual slaughter and human experimentation aren't a fun pastime activity," Tsunade grumbled. "You might actually be beyond help, otherwise."
Shizune sent Tsunade a disapproving look while Kabuto stared at the fire in their midst. Sasuke didn't expect him to say anything more.
"Perhaps my life with Orochimaru-sama–" Kabuto faltered. "With... with Orochimaru had not been as ideal as I'd thought at the time."
There was a pause in the conversation, and Sasuke used the time to return to his train of thought before Kabuto had derailed the conversation. It was true that Naruto did not have the same limitations regarding chakra reserves that other people had – but neither did Sakura.
Hadn't she mentioned something about the topic before? Something about concentrating... or perhaps saving chakra?
Sasuke gave up trying to remember the details and decided to simply ask. "Are there other ways to increase your own chakra stores, other than training your chakra coils?"
"Funny you'd ask," Tsunade said. "I've been meaning to bring it up myself."
She paused and sat up straight, for once actually invested in the conversation. "I developed a technique meant for exactly that purpose." She touched the small diamond shaped mark on her forehead. "The Strength of a Hundred Seal is a chakra storage built up over a long period of time. It's an emergency chakra supply to tap into when your own reserves are no longer enough."
Sasuke hummed in understanding. Sakura had explained it to him in a similar way. As far as he knew, she'd been doing exactly that – storing up chakra – for months.
He didn't mention it, and didn't bother to ask how Sakura had known of the technique. Tsunade was a Konoha nin. There were probably records of her somewhere in the library or the archives.
"I never planned to teach the technique to anybody else," Tsunade continued, "but I believe you have the talent for it. It would be a waste not to at least try."
She patted Kabuto's arm and Kabuto froze, peering down at the offending limb in a way that suggested he was debating escaping the hold that, knowing Tsunade, would be easily able to crush him.
There was a ripping sound from Sasuke's right, and he turned to see Sakura wide eyed and clutching the tattered remains of a storage scroll in her hands. He hoped that it hadn't held anything important.
"You're gonna teach the technique to who, exactly?" she asked tonelessly, pinning an emotionless stare on Kabuto.
Next to her, Naruto was starting to sweat. "Um. Sakura..."
"You were the one who saddled us with him," Tsunade pointed out. "I thought you wanted us to teach him."
"Teach him morality, definitely." Naruto's eyes kept twitching to Sakura anxiously. "Teach him your very powerful and personal techniques... Uh..."
"If you would excuse me," Sakura said, her voice as stilted as her movement as she climbed to her feet and retreated to who knew where.
Sasuke spent several heartbeats split between loyalty to his teammate and interest to find out more about the technique that had so upset her. Curiosity won out, and Sasuke issued a half-hearted mental apology before asking, "So, that seal of yours. How does it work?"
Sasuke did his very best to try and feel bad about the following discussion that sprouted between him, Shizune, Tsunade and – once he'd warmed up a little – Kabuto. It wasn't working especially well and Sasuke opted to make it up to Sakura somehow at a later point.
They barely caught a glimpse of Sakura over the next couple days. When they did, she was sitting in a relaxed posture meant for mediation and signalling the sort of inner peace that was belied by the heated muttering under her breath.
The next time Sakura decided to grace them with her presence she wore an expression of pure satisfaction on her face – and a brand new diamond shaped seal on her forehead.
She didn't spare any of them a glance and marched straight towards Kabuto. "Beat it, replacement," she growled, turned on her heel and stalked off.
Sasuke sighed, somewhat registering Shizune's perplexed sputtering and Tsunade's widened eyes. It took Naruto a couple heartbeats until she jumped to her feet and ran after Sakura.
"S-Sakura! Wait!"
Sasuke congratulated himself on his foresight of having packed up his belongings several days prior. He walked over to Kabuto – not reacting to Sakura's (overly spiteful) gesture beyond a slow, confused blink – and fixed him with a long, appraising look. For somebody who'd tried to kill them only a couple weeks earlier, Kabuto wasn't bad company.
"Good luck," Sasuke settled on, shouldered his bag and went to hunt down his teammates.
A/N: Roughly 6 or 7 chapters to go. Strap yourselves in and enjoy the ride, lovelies!
Beta'd by the amazing Igornerd, PyrothTenka and To Mockingbird!
Please let me know what you think!
~Gwen