Title: The Best Of Times: Trailing for Hope
Chapter 33: Blood Running Cold Or, From The Word Go
Rating: T, for language I guess. If the rating changes, you'll be the second to know.
Disclaimer: I don't own any aspect of Twilight and all its proceedings, they continue to belong to Stephenie Meyer.
Summary: Ava Swan never expected to move to Forks, Washington, permanently. Then again, she never expected to be imprinted on by a hot-headed shape-shifter either. ...No Bella, or Edward-bashing. Follows storyline from "New Moon". Despite my attempts to write a believable Paul/OC fic, there's no way I can make this sound original, ever.
Notes: I apologize for any grammatical errors, as I am genuinely debating cutting my hair.
P.S. If I missed something grammatical or something doesn't make sense, please PM me and let me know!
Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! :)
One week later. Friday. 7:23 PM. Swan House.
The following week was tense – although that could be considered an understatement.
The Cullens and the Uley pack were in a hesitant truce, trading off when necessary always in pairs of two.
The only silver lining with being on their unofficial house arrest meant that Ava and Bella saw much more of each other. In the past when Ava would feel like it was too much to handle being inside the house, she would leave and only come back when she was ready; now, it seemed that Bella was taking advantage of the new accessibility.
Ava was glad that Bella was speaking to Jacob, but she wasn't sure if their friendship had been fully repaired. Jacob never really spoke about it and she never wanted to bring it up. The only thing that Ava knew for a fact was that Jacob was made aware of Bella's plans about turning into a vampire. He had taken it well in Ava's opinion, but she chalked it up to the assumption that he thought Bella would change her mind.
She wasn't so sure about that. Although Bella never told her when she planned on turning, Ava knew of the 'act now, think later' attitude that her cousin possessed. Much similar to her own.
When Bella came up to her, apologizing about everything, Ava found herself listening. Apologizing about Italy. About Bella not trying to contact her harder during those silent three days. About Jacob. About her isolation when Edward left her. And about not apologizing, again, sooner.
Truthfully, Ava was mentally exhausted.
She knew she wasn't going to apologize; all Ava had done was smack Bella with the facts, and she was fully prepared to drag this out as long as possible. But seeing Bella apologize this time was different. In the past she had just thrown the word 'sorry' around and Ava was positive that the meaning had been dropped behind it.
But now, Bella's voice had wavered, signaling a threatening crack. Her breathing was noticeably rapid, giving the indication that she was near tears.
Ava wasn't expecting an emotional response from her stoic cousin. She wasn't the most affectionate and she certainly wasn't the best with words, always speaking through her actions. In the long time that Ava had known her, she could only recall Bella crying three times.
First, was when Bella was seven; she fell off the roof of Charlie's cruiser and sprained her wrist.
Second, was when she was visiting Ava at her parents' house at the age of eight; she had climbed the bookcase in Ava's room and had fallen backwards, the back of her head hitting the hardwood floor.
The third and final time was when she was fourteen; jumping off the small pier at First Beach with Ava resulted in a matching scar on both their shins.
She disregarded the fact that every time Bella had cried was due to Ava convincing her to do something stupid. Now, with the quickly gathered tears making Bella's eyes blink rapidly to keep them from falling, Ava felt guilt. She hadn't let her mind linger on how Bella would have been taking their falling out; she had assumed that she was doing fine since Edward and his family were back.
The silence that settled was heavy and Ava let her cousin's words and apology sink in.
She didn't know what to say to follow up, so Ava looked down, memorizing the edges of her bed spread. "Okay." Was her response, and instead of leaving, Bella sat down beside her.
"Are you…" Bella stopped, collecting her thoughts. She knew that this time her apology had resonated with Ava, but she wasn't sure what else to say. "How are you feeling?"
"Okay," Ava repeated. "I guess. Everything sort of came raining down at once."
Bella blew out a quick, short exhale through her nose. "Yeah."
"I'm sorry."
"You already said that." Ava allowed a small smile to trace her face.
Bella's face mimicked Ava's and she gently nudged her arm with her own. "I know. But, for everything else. All the danger, everything."
"Well, you didn't exactly choose to have some crazy vampire chase after you."
"No, I didn't." Bella admitted. "But, still. You shouldn't have been…involved in any of this."
"It's too late for that now," Ava said shortly. She didn't want to have the same conversation with her over and over again, especially now that they were on speaking terms. Tentative speaking terms, but it was something.
Bella nudged her again, this time silently asking Ava to look at her. "We're gonna be okay." With a small promising smile, she continued, "so, I don't want you to worry."
Ava felt a sense of comfort and recognition when Bella said that. Usually, Ava was the voice of attempted-optimism and reason. But yet there she was, losing hope with every passing day and Bella was the one holding out for some miracle that everything would be fine.
She took an audibly deep breath. "I'm not worried."
"Yes, you are." Bella scoffed quietly. "I can tell. We may not have been talking but since we found out Victoria was back, you've been acting weird – you haven't been sleeping."
Ava opened her mouth, but nothing came out. After a pause, she managed, "it's better."
"You're exhausted."
"Bella, it's fine. I'm fine."
Bella didn't answer. She knew Ava well enough to know that she was putting up a front; she wasn't as bright or as vivid as she once was. She wanted to speak up on it, push more for Ava to open up but Bella knew she was already on thin ice. She was about to stand up to go back to her room, content with their progress, when Ava spoke.
"So, you're really-you're going to do this?" Ava turned towards her fully and watching her expression.
Bella immediately fidgeted under her gaze and broke her stare to look down into her lap. Well, it was bound to be brought up eventually. "Yeah, I mean…I know you don't like it. And probably hate me for it, but I've really…honestly, have taken the time to think about it."
"But…"
She looked up, desperation etched into her expression. She wanted her to get it. Out of everyone, she expected Ava to understand her, she always did. "Ava, I want this life. I want to spend it with Edward."
Ava had attempted to push the thought of Bella turning into a vampire to the back of her mind. She wanted her to remain human. Desperately. But if Bella didn't want the same thing, then what was the point in hoping for otherwise?
"You," Ava said slowly, trying to prolong her statement. "You want this life-"
"I do-"
Ava held up a hand, stopping her. She knew what she was about to say was probably going to bite her in the ass, but it needed to be said. "You want this life and I just want you to be happy."
She continued, "I don't want you to regret doing this. Because once it's done, it's over, and there's no turning back."
"I know," Bella insisted. "I know the stakes and I need you to understand. I need you to try and be on my side."
"I am," Ava breathed out, frustration now heavy in her voice. "Bella, I'm always on your side. I've always been on your side."
All she had ever done growing up is worry about her. Bella was the closest thing she had to a sister and Ava would be the first to admit that, yes, she was attached. Not just to her, but Charlie, too. Life in Forks, even.
"I'm always going to be on your side. I just want you to think of everything that's going to be affected," Ava admitted.
Bella bit her lip, reminded of the life she'd be giving up the second she was turned. "...I'm not sure what exactly is going to happen." She furrowed her brows, looking to the side. "But I swear, I'm going to do everything I can to-"
"To what?" Ava cut off. "To…lessen the blow that you're going to live on eternally?"
"Ava…"
"I just…" Ava heaved a breath, shaking her head lightly. "I don't get it. ...Just…give me some time."
Bella nodded, and Ava continued, "I mean, you'll have plenty of it anyway." She had on a small reflexive smirk at her quip, and Bella chuckled airily.
"What about you?" Bella resolved, now determined to know about everything that's been going on with her. "What's going on?'
"Nothing." Ava furrowed her brow. "And everything at the same time. I don't know."
"Sounds complicated."
"I don't know," Ava repeated. She felt a ripple of nostalgia as she sat there with Bella; she never realized the weight within her, and she wanted to spout everything that's been on her mind. "I've been on the reservation and all…"
Bella nodded, silently ushering her to continue.
"With Paul it's, like, I feel weird…" Ava trailed off, feeling her face warm substantially. "When he's not around it's like I want him to be, you know? I don't know, I probably sound crazy."
"Um, yeah. Wow," Bella admitted. She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes slightly to scrutinize Ava. She didn't want to seem like the bad guy, but she certainly wasn't expecting that to come out of her mouth. "But…is that-I mean, are you sure?"
Ava could sense the shift in atmosphere and she frowned. "It's nothing right now. We're friends, I'm just telling you how I've been feeling."
Bella didn't reply. Ava fiddled with the small charm around her neck; she was hoping for advice, maybe. Not a life lesson. "Bella. I really don't want to argue anymore."
"Neither do I."
"Then why do you do that?" Ava said sourly. "You act like what you're doing is safer and better than what I am. And it's the same thing, we're on the same sinking boat."
"I'm…" Bella sighed heavily. "I'm sorry. I don't mean it, I just want you to be okay."
"I'm fine."
"You always say that." Bella rolled her eyes discreetly before giving her the softest smile she could muster. "If you're happy, I'm happy." She repeated Ava's words from earlier and Ava couldn't help the unintentional smile from spreading across her face.
Two days later. Sunday. 6:12 PM. Swan House.
"Council meeting sounds so…uppity." Ava frowned down at her textbook. The words seemed to be morphing in one big, annoying blur. "A bonfire on the other hand, sounds like I'm not intruding in on some ritual."
Paul rolled his eyes from over her shoulder; she was making this way more difficult than it had to be. "It's not a ritual."
He had been nearly glued to her side, having to go through the window to keep Charlie from getting too annoyed at his constant presence in the house. He wasn't going to risk anything else happening to her. The only times he really left her alone was when he was scheduled for a guard shift, when he was in school, or when she shoved him out of her window for him to get some sleep.
"But it is a council meeting," Ava replied pointedly, propping her elbow onto her desk and resting her head atop her hand lazily. "I'd rather not."
He blew out a frustrated breath and straightened up. "Come on. You like the stories."
"When they're not the real stories," Ava corrected. "Like the fake ones they tell at actual bonfires."
God, this sucked. She hated studying. Why even bother-?
Paul groaned loudly in annoyance. "They're not fake. They're just not the stories told at council meetings."
"So, sacred?" Ava deadpanned, whirling her desk chair around. "That makes me not want to go even more."
"Emily'll be there," he tried.
"Emily," Ava enunciated slowly. "Is part of the tribe. I'm not."
"Ava-"
"Not going," she cut off immediately, turning back around. "So, don't even try."
There was a stretched silence and Ava was starting to think that he had gone back out her window. Suddenly, a sharp sigh of irritation rang through; yup, still here.
"Why. Why are you being so difficult."
"How am I being difficult?" She asked, slightly offended, countering with a question of her own, "why do you want me to go so badly?" She angled her head to the side to look at him. "I'm fine here, nothing will happen."
"I'm trying to spend time with my friend," he admitted slowly, crossing his arms protectively across his chest when he was finished speaking.
At that, Ava felt a little bad. She knew, obviously, what he meant by friend, 'I'm trying to spend time with the person I imprinted on'. She shifted uncomfortably, trying to focus back on her textbook; unfortunately, tidbits of turning him down in favor of spending time with others in the past crossed her mind and she was beginning to feel the guilt.
She spun her chair around slowly, avoiding his eyes and focusing on the wall behind him. "It's going to be weird. I'm going to, like, push myself into the-"
"Look," Paul interrupted, running a hand down his face. "It's not like some-it includes the…people." At her blank expression, he continued, "that are imprinted on, I mean. Jared'll be there with Kim, and Emily…"
She tried meeting his eyes but like hers had been a second earlier, he was staring intently at something else.
"Are you sure?" She asked carefully. She didn't put it past him to say they were going to be there to convince her.
He nodded, finally catching her gaze. After a small silence, he spoke, "And, it'll make me feel better knowing you're nearby. Or, I could just stay. Your choice."
She let out a breathless chuckle at his statement. "So, either go to the council thing with you, or stay here with you? Those are my options?"
"I don't make the rules."
7:23 PM. Quileute Tribal Council.
Seth snatched another burger discreetly and hid it beside his chair.
That's the third one, Ava noted, raising an inquisitive brow. "Think you have enough, Seth?"
He looked up, startled that someone had noticed his actions and smiled sheepishly. "I'm saving some for Jacob, he's getting here soon."
Ava nodded amusedly and zipped her lips together in secrecy, turning back towards Paul on her other side. "Another one?"
"I'm hungry," he said through a mouthful. "Charlie won't feed me."
"He won't feed you because you go through my window." Ava rolled her eyes. "He doesn't even know you're there."
Earlier before she left, she asked her uncle if it would be alright if she went out for a while. He agreed, only asking who she'd be with.
"We're just hanging out." I opted against mentioning it was a council meeting; that would just end up warranting more questions.
Wracking my brain, I tried thinking of a few people that would most likely be there. "Emily, Sam... Seth...Jacob, probably." I ticked off. "Kim, Jared...um, Paul."
He had been slowly nodding his head until I said Paul's name; turning his head to face me fully, Charlie began rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Patrick, huh."
I quickly clasped my hands behind my back and rocked on my heels. "Yup."
He hummed with resonating miniscule enthusiasm before removing his hand from his chin and holding it out in acceptance. "...Alright, then. Be safe and have fun. Don't get back too late."
"So," Paul continued, pointedly taking another bite. "Hungry."
"You're like a vacuum cleaner." Ava snorted. "Save some for everyone else."
He made indistinct mumbles through the food and offered her the remainder of his burger. She leaned back slightly, raising a brow. "Not me."
Shrugging, he shoveled the rest into his mouth, only to move and prepare another while still chewing. Mostly everyone who Ava suspected would be there was present, save for Jacob.
Jared and Kim were huddled across from her, and Emily and Sam were seated on the opposite side of Seth. Most surprisingly, Leah Clearwater was there too; scowling down at her lap and her mother was beside her, rubbing her arm comfortingly.
Just as Ava was scanning the remainder of the group, she saw Jacob in the distance with Bella. She was confused but brushed it off, knowing that Edward had handed Bella off to Jacob for the day while he hunted.
Seth took notice as well because he shot up immediately and ran over to the pair, talking animatedly. Once they were seated, Bella gave Ava a look conveying her nervousness and Ava gave her a smile back, waving slightly.
Bella was anxious sitting there; she wanted to go over and sit with her cousin, at least then she'd be able to talk about it. Jacob had just brushed off her worries and dragged her into the group. She felt incredibly intrusive and she could tell that everyone was staring at her when she neared.
"Time to begin," Billy Black started, eyeing the group.
Paul wasted no time in getting unapologetically comfortable; laying out onto the entirety of the log that him and Ava were seated on. He folded his arms behind his head and lazily plopped it onto her lap. Ava raised an eyebrow and looked down at him. "Move."
"No," he said smugly; there wasn't a chance in hell he was going to pass up an opportunity to get closer. He yearned to get as close as Emily and Sam, or Jared and Kim, but he'd take what he could get away with.
Ava crossed her arms and gave him an exasperated look, ignoring the titters around the fire as everyone else got comfortable; no one seemed to have paid much mind to their current position.
"Move it or lose it." She tried sounding harsh, but it only came out as a half-hearted request and coupled with her smile, she didn't sound serious in the least. She could feel her cheeks beginning to warm and she hoped that it was dark enough to mask them.
Paul disregarded her embarrassment and rolled his eyes, only replying smartly, "you're not as intimidating as you think you are."
Ava scoffed quietly to not disturb Billy who was beginning the first story. "I am too," she hissed, only receiving a dry look in response. Wrinkling her nose in indignation, she adjusted her seat and moved her attention to Billy.
Throughout the story, Ava was on the edge of her seat. There was no question if these tales were more interesting than the one's she heard in the past, because they were. She was hypnotized with Billy's every word.
To Bella, it was evident that Billy was singling her out; she could feel the intense stare that he was drilling into her. Everyone else took notice as well and were slowly shifting away from her as the story went on, almost unconsciously. Even Jacob wasn't paying her much mind, glaring petulantly at Paul and Ava from across the fire. Once the story finished in a soft whirl, Billy broke the stare that himself and Bella were in and began a new one.
Paul hadn't moved the whole time, only turning his head in the direction of Billy and very nearly falling asleep. In his opinion, it wasn't really his fault though; what else could be expected when he was so inconceivably content.
Ava jolted a knee up, causing his eyes to snap open. Luckily, he had half-a-mind to stay quiet. "What the f-"
"Don't fall asleep," she murmured, already looking back at Billy. "You wanted me to come, so you actually have to stay awake."
He grumbled under his breath and heaved a large sigh. "Fine."
Billy recounted a few more before finishing up; everyone remained seated, eating and talking amongst themselves.
Seth was fending off Embry, who was trying to swipe the burger in his hands; Leah and her mother were still in the same spot, talking quietly; Jared was hanging off Kim while she poked the fire with a stick; Quil III – more popularly known on the reservation as 'Old Quil' – Billy, and Quil were speaking; Sam and Emily were still huddled together; and Jacob and Bella were whispering, Bella's body language screaming that she was incredibly uneasy.
As Ava was debating to go over and alleviate some of her nervous tension, she was interrupted. "You can say I was right, now," Paul chimed innocently. Ava pursed her lips and broke her stare at Bella but avoided looking down at his surely smug expression.
"Nope."
He lifted his head and plopped it back down to garner her full attention. Ava finally angled her head towards him and hoped that her face conveyed annoyance. Though, she doubted it, staring down at him, his face flickering with the fire in front of them. "What?"
"They're way better, right?" He continued, raising his eyebrows enticingly. "You have to admit it."
Ava scoffed. "No way I'm admitting anything to you."
Paul began lifting his head, finally preparing to get off her lap when Ava noticed that there were two missing faces.
"Where are Brady and Collin?"
He blew out an annoyed breath and dropped his head back down, a sulky frown on his face. "What is your obsession with the runts?"
Pursing her lips at his response, Ava shifted pointedly to get his head off. He didn't budge and instead stared at her expectantly.
"I'm just curious," Ava said finally.
He continued staring at her, scrutinizing her expression. Ava bit the inside of her cheek to try and prevent her nerves from showing and he finally sighed out, "Sam said they'll come to the next one. They're young."
"Shouldn't they learn about all this stuff?"
"They already know what's important," he said absently. "They know about the leeches. And they know we get rid of leeches." As he spoke, he glanced inadvertently at Bella off to the side. Once he locked eyes back on Ava, he realized his mistake and heaved his head off her lap. After straightening off fully, he gave her a sheepish smile. "...Sorry."
Ava ignored the cool air that now settled around her and shifted awkwardly at being reminded, yet again, of Bella's decision. She smiled tightly. "It's okay."
Paul stood up, holding out a hand. "I should get you home."
Despite knowing how this looked, she really didn't care. Eventually Ava was going to tell him how she felt, but she enjoyed the easy friendship that they had.
In all honesty, as of late, she was beginning to regret the whole 'friendship' thing. She was the one that had established their relationship, which meant that she was going to have to be the one to make any sort of move.
All this because she had begrudgingly developed a stupid little crush. In the beginning, she hoped that it was something that would pass over after a few days, but now she wasn't so sure.
Lifting herself from her seat, she grabbed his hand weakly. "I'm the one that's driving. Wouldn't that mean I'm getting myself home."
"Shut up." He rolled his eyes and tugged her up. Everyone around the fire fastened their eyes at the pair that were very obviously leaving for the night.
"So soon?" Billy asked. "Got your story fix, huh?"
"You know me, Billy," Ava managed out, a smile spreading across her face. "But I don't want to get home too late."
"Maybe you should leave too then, Bella," Jared spoke unheedingly, unaware of the way his suggestion sounded. Kim smacked his arm and he widened his eyes. "What did I say?"
"That was rude," Emily said carefully from across the fire, eyeing Bella.
Jared sputtered out a few words before throwing his hands up, frustrated. "That's not what I meant!"
"Alright," Sam started, quieting down the wolf. "We should all get going. It is getting late."
"Let's just go to Em's," Seth suggested, backed up by Quil and Embry nodding their heads enthusiastically.
Sam raised a brow and shot them down immediately. "No way. You free-loaders are there every day. You're all going home."
Ava snorted at their immediate response, complaining and groaning about Sam's final decision.
"I'll see you at the house?" Ava asked Bella quietly when she passed by, tugging at her sleeve gently.
"We'll be there, Ave," Jacob assured, looking at her before locking eyes with Paul. "Get her home already, it's late."
"That's what I was doing," Paul snapped under his breath.
"Okay." Ava pressed her body into Paul's pushing him away from the pair. "I'll see you home, okay?"
Bella nodded. "Tell dad not to wait up."
"You know he will." Ava rolled her eyes, breaking her stare and waving a quick goodbye to everyone who were chorusing goodbyes.
Favorite and Follow! And if you have a second, leave a review and tell me what you think! Also, I get so much satisfaction from people saying they love the quotes haha I love them too.
Incorrect Quote(s) of the Chapter:
Everyone: Hey...are you two dating?
Paul, his head literally in Ava's lap: What would give you that impression?
.+.
Seth: Hey, do you think I can fit fifteen marshmallows into my mouth?
Leah: You're a hazard to society.
Paul: And a coward. Do twenty.
.+.
[Embry, Quil, and Seth trying to contact spirits]
Embry: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
Seth: You know that'll never-
Paul, through a walkie-talkie they told Seth was a spirit box: *clap clap*
Seth, on the verge of tears: SAM-
.+.
Paul: How do I get Ava to like me?
Sam: Tell her about yourself.
[later]
Paul: I can eat a burger in two bites, want to see?
.+.
Paul: WHO ATE MY FOOD?
Paul: I'm gonna fucking mur-
Ava, stopping mid-chew: I did.
Paul: ...make. I'm going to make you another one because you haven't been eating enough.
.+.
Jacob: Seth is a good kid. I'm kind of like a mentor.
Seth: *does the fortnite dance*
Jacob: I lied, I don't know this boy.
.+.
Edward: So, why don't you lie down, relax, and watch the stars?
Bella: It's 2 in the afternoon! There are no stars.
Edward: Only if you're looking with your eyes.
Bella: What the hell does that mean, Edward!?
.+.
Ava: You have no idea what I'm capable of!
Paul: Don't take it personally, but I feel like I'm being threatened by a cupcake.
.+.
Bella: Are we friends again?
Ava: ...No.
Bella:
Ava:
Bella:
Ava: We're sisters.
Bella: That was terrifying, don't pause like that!