A/N: There wasn't really a good way to divide this chapter, so it's cut in a weird place; I'm sorry for that. Hope you'll enjoy it anyhow :)

Chapter 18, part 1.

By the time Alice came back from the rescue mission, Jake, Cooper and the others were feeling much better, but they were still not back to active duty, held back first by Keller, and then by the resident psychiatrist, James Borden. He wanted to ascertain their mental state before he allowed them back into combat, and although Jake was close to mutiny because of that, he eventually had to subject himself to a week-long mental assessment period which came after he had been pronounced physically fit, two weeks after Alice's return. Publicly, he cursed it as a waste of time, but Alice thought it would do him some good. She had noticed that he was a little down since waking up, although he tried to hide it. What she did not expect was that she'd also be summoned to see Borden just a day after Jake's last appointment with him.

"Is there something wrong with Jake?" Was her first question as she sat down in a chair opposite the psychiatrist in his office, voice ringing with concern.

Borden raised his eyebrows. "Do you think there is?"

Alice opened her mouth and then closed it, stumped. She didn't appreciate having the inquiry turned around this way. "Well, he's your patient and I'm his next-of-kin," she answered finally, because Borden clearly expected her to say something. "What other possible reason you might have to talk to me?"

"Actually, I had been meaning to talk to you for a while," he admitted and produced a folder from an end table on the other side of his chair. He opened it and glanced over the first sheet. "My predecessor failed to have any regular interviews with you."

"I told her I didn't need them." Alice shrugged. Borden was quite new on Atlantis, having replaced the previous psychiatrist who went on maternity leave.

"I see. You don't feel the need to talk to anyone about the things you've been through?"

Alice raised her eyebrows in turn. "I talk to my friends. I talk to Jake. I think that's enough."

"Hmph." He turned the sheet of paper and then caught her anxious glance as she tried to peer down to see what was written there. "I am not your enemy, Captain. I am here to make sure that everybody on Atlantis is in good mental space. You all have incredibly demanding jobs and the things that happen to you on regular basis… I'm surprised more of you don't develop post-traumatic stress disorder."

Alice didn't miss the expression more of you. It indicated that someone already had—but she didn't know of any cases herself. How could that be? They wouldn't let anyone with PTSD continue to serve here, would they?

Borden smiled, his skin crinkling around his eyes in a way that betrayed that he did that a lot. "Not everyone leaves Atlantis for the same reasons." He then looked back down at his folder. "At any rate, we all have our jobs here. Mine happens to be to watch out for everyone's mental health. And I intend to that to the best of my ability. But I need a little help from you."

Alice couldn't help an eye-roll. She really didn't need any additional complications to her already busy life.

"You are hesitant," he noted without surprise. "But please believe me when I say, I only care about your well-being. So let's just chat today. Can we do that?"

Alice shrugged but then nodded. "Sure, why not."

"Your brother told me that your mother suffers from a mental illness." The psychiatrist consulted his notes. "Paranoid schizophrenia and depression, with a dash of anxiety, isn't that right?"

"Yes." Alice didn't like to discuss her mom's condition.

"She used to live in an inpatient care facility?" He prompted, but Alice only nodded. "I understand that you made quite a sacrifice to help her transition from a life inside a treatment center to a more independent one."

"It wasn't a sacrifice," Alice protested, instantly riled up. "I wanted to help her. And it was great to have her so close for once!"

Borden smiled. "Of course, I am sorry. Still, even with your support, it must've been hard for her. To come to a completely new place, suddenly out in the open…"

"She managed it very well," Alice huffed. "Of course the meds and the therapy helped…" And then she stopped, realizing where he was going with this line of questioning. He was clever, she had to give it to him. "I see what you're doing, but I don't need therapy."

But he was shaking his head emphatically. "I'm not saying that you do. I'm just pointing out that needing it is not a bad thing. And it doesn't have to be a huge thing, either. Let's just talk."

Alice sighed. "I'm not good at talking."

"I noticed." He chuckled. "But humor me, please."

She rolled her eyes again. "Sure. What you wanna talk about?"

"Let's start easy. How are you feeling?"

"Now? Annoyed."

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes at her. "And more generally?"

"I'm fine."

"How are you sleeping at night?"

She hesitated. "Fine," she lied, gazing away.

A few seconds of silence followed, until she was forced to look back at him.

"Oh-uh," he said, quite kindly. "We have our first lie."

"I'm not a liar!" She protested, but rather feebly, even in her own eyes.

"What would you call not telling the truth, then?" He challenged her.

"I don't have to talk to you!" She rose from her seat.

"Yeah, you do." He wasn't smiling anymore, but he was very calm—actually reminded her of Karim. "And not just because I can recall you from active duty. You haven't been sleeping well lately, and you're not fine, Captain. It's blatantly obvious to anyone who looks at you."

This dictum completely threw her. What did he mean? What was she showing? She stayed standing, but looked down at him with an undecided air, not sure if she should storm out or sit back down.

"The first thing you did after walking into my office was look for doors and windows—planning escape routes. You're jumpy and tense, and keep turning that ring on your finger around and around. You don't even know you're doing it." She immediately stopped. The ring was a gift from her mom, she wore it only on the base, removing it when going offworld. "That's a nervous tick. Your eyes dart all over the room, even now you can't quite focus on me. You're easily irritable and you've got bags under your eyes. This tells me exactly two things: you're not sleeping well; and it's been going on for a while. From there, I can extrapolate a third conclusion: you are not fine."

Alice felt as if he slapped her in the face. She felt her cheeks color, and her breathing quickened and became shallow. Was all of this really that obvious? Did everybody know? She stood rooted to the spot and felt irrational panic sweep her. What was happening to her? Why was she reacting like this?

"Sit down, Captain. Please."

She hesitated for a moment still, but then did as he asked. She didn't look at him, though, but instead kept her eyes on the folder he still held in his hands.

"What you're feeling right now is quite normal," he told her in a warmer tone. "You didn't even realize before just how hard-strung you've become. What you've been through lately was horrible. It was torture, Captain, and that is not something that you can just shake off. Add to it the worry over your brother and your friends, the pressure to find the Wraith who did it to you, the constant stress that this very place generates not just for you, but for everyone… frankly I wonder at how you've been able to function until now." He paused for a moment. "But now you know. Let me help you work through this."

She shook her head. "I don't want to appear weak." Her voice was rather small, and what she really meant was I don't want to show you how weak I really am.

"No, Captain." He sounded very serious, almost grave. "I am the guy you tell. You let me help you work it out here so you can get out there and continue to kick ass."

She smiled, then sighed and then looked up at him again. She felt very brave to have done so, because looking him in the eyes was the last thing she wanted to do right now. He made her feel small and very young.

"So what do I do?"

"For now, we'll just chat." He nodded encouragingly. "So, tell me. What keeps you up at night?"

She took a deep breath. Maybe it wasn't such a big waste of time after all. Therapy was a real part of the medical toolbox, and it did help more often than not. So what did she have to lose? It didn't look like he would let her off it anyway.

"I have… nightmares," she answered cautiously. "When I wake up, I can't fall asleep again for a long time."

"Can't or won't?" He prodded.

"Both, I guess."

"What are the nightmares about?"

"Different stuff." She shrugged. "My dad dying… Faces of people I had to kill… The creature from M2F-221… But mostly Jareth."

Borden nodded as if he had already known that, and Alice had to admit it was pretty obvious.

"In your dreams, are you only reliving what had happened to you, or does other stuff happen too?"

"Mostly relive memories, I guess." She tried to repress a shiver and failed. "The time I was alone in the dungeon… and Jareth's examination."

"Examination?" He frowned and flicked through his folder quickly. Alice noted that it wasn't very thick—just a few sheets of paper.

"Yeah, he took samples… my blood and skin… and he…" She hesitated, swallowed, and rallied her spirits. "He… looked me over. All of me." And then her courage fled from her and she had to look away again.

"How did that make you feel?"

She wet her lips; they had suddenly become dry. "Violated. Gross."

Borden didn't say anything to that. For a moment they both kept silent, and then he asked: "Are you scared he might be coming back for you?"

"I'm worried, obviously." She shifted her gaze back towards him. "He's a threat to all of us, and I'm concerned that with all the intel he gathered from our people, he might find a way into Atlantis, and with his abilities, that would be really bad."

"Yeah, but are you scared that he might be coming back for you?" Borden repeated, stressing the last word.

She felt confused by the question. "Um… I don't know." It was the best she could do. "I didn't really think about it."

"Maybe not consciously, but your subconscious is clearly troubled," he remarked. "How about your brother?"

"I don't understand your question."

"Do you worry about him? What Jareth has done to him?"

She sighed. "You know I do. That was literally the first question I asked after I walked in here."

"Yeah, that's why I'm asking. What is your concern, exactly?"

She looked up at the ceiling for a moment, before leveling her gaze with his. "Jareth has done something really bad to his mind. He's on the mend, but I worry about long-term effects. And"—She paused for a beat—"I think he's been feeling down lately, and I don't know why."

"Did you talk to him about it?"

She shook her head.

"Maybe it's a good idea to do so?"

"Maybe you're right. Clearly you're not telling me anything." And she rolled her eyes again, smiling at the same time.

"Doctor-patient confidentiality," he simply stated and shrugged. "Besides, it's always good to talk through our worries with the people they concern."

She nodded assent, but didn't think it needed any comment from her.

"I understand that one of your teammates is still with Jareth, under his influence."

"Uh, yeah… Karim."

His scrutinizing stare became too penetrating for her again and she dropped her gaze.

"You're worried about him, too?"

"Of course, he's my friend," she replied a little too quick.

"Right." He just continued to look at her silently for a moment, and then asked: "What are you feeling right now?"

"I'm… embarrassed," she admitted, and hastened to add: "I shot him. Pretty bad, too. He looked okay when I saw him three weeks ago, though…" It was true, she told herself. She didn't lie this time.

Skimming around the truth wasn't lying, was it?

"You feel like you betrayed him because you didn't manage to free him?"

"More like capture him… he made it very hard," she explained. "He shot me, too, you know. Twice."

"And then he made off with Jareth."

"Yeah." She hesitated for a moment, and then added, reluctantly: "I had a chance to shoot him down. In a Jumper, I mean, as he was fleeing through the Gate. I… couldn't do it."

"Why not?"

"Karim was with him. I'd be killing him too." She swallowed hard. "I don't like doing that. Killing, I mean. Even enemies. Though it's somewhat easier with the Wraith. But Karim's a friend, and I… I couldn't do it. Even though I knew very well how dangerous Jareth was."

"If you did shoot them both down, how would you feel about it?"

"Devastated, I'd imagine." She shrugged. "But still, it would've been the right thing to do."

"Would it?"

She frowned. "Wouldn't it?"

"You tell me. I don't make judgments, remember." He smiled. "The point is for you to understand your own feelings."

"Good luck with that," she mumbled to herself. Maybe he heard, though, because his smile grew bigger.

"But I think we will stop here for today," he announced. "I am really glad we had this chat, and that I got to know you a little bit. Hopefully you got to know me a bit, too." He took a pen from the end-table and scribbled something down. "I'm prescribing you a mild sedative, give this to the medics down in the infirmary, they'll give you the pills." He handed her a sheet of paper. "Take one each night for four nights in a row, and then as needed, when the insomnia gets bad, but not more often than twice a week. Our first priority is to get you well-rested. You'll be surprised how much better you'll feel then."

Alice took the slip of paper and nodded thanks.

"And I want to see you again… let's say Friday. Okay?"

Alice sighed, but she didn't think she had any choice but to agree.

And, as she was getting ready for bed that evening, going through the entire conversation in her head again, she realized she actually felt a little better. Not much, certainly, but it was kind of a small relief to finally let herself be vulnerable to someone, to talk about her feelings… even if she hid most of them still.

Every journey started with the first step, though, didn't it?

With Cooper officially out of the woods and pronounced well enough to rejoin the team, AR-4 was finally back on duty together, albeit still missing one member. Jareth, and Karim with him, had disappeared from their radar once more and no news had reached them on his whereabouts within the next few weeks. It was almost mid-May, which meant Karim had been missing for over four months. Every time Alice thought about him, she felt a pang of guilt mixed with regret and fear. She knew that the people affected by Jareth's mind-bending were not… uncomfortable during the whole experience. William and Jake had both described it: it was more of an absence of feelings than anything else. Complete emotional emptiness, with nothing but the compulsion to follow Jareth's orders. Still, the image of Karim somewhere out there, alone with Jareth, made Alice sick to her stomach.

She was not the only one who was determined to find him. Everyone who had been under Jareth's influence grappled with the same feelings of guilt, with added shame at not being able to resist like she had. One night, as they sat in Alice's quarters, listening to music on her stereo and drinking beer, Jake finally spilled the beans on what had been bothering him all this time.

"I'm just mad at myself, you know," he said, staring at the bottle in his hand as if it bore some important message. "Furious."

"Why?"

"Many reasons," he hedged, but then sighed, took a sip of the beer, and continued in a morose tone: "Because I let myself be captured. Because I was a weak-ass who couldn't resist that motherfucker." He paused, and then added quietly, studiously not looking at Alice: "Because I mistreated you at his command."

"Oh." So that's what was upsetting him? Ridiculous. She knew he couldn't help it—that was the whole point of having his mind conditioned by the Wraith. "You didn't do anything to me, Jake. Now Karim, that's a whole other story, that asshat shot me. Twice!" She tried to sound amused, but she wasn't sure if her anxiety over her best friend's fate didn't show even in a humorous remark.

But Jake shook his head. "I certainly didn't help."

"It's not like you could've stopped yourself." Alice shrugged.

"Yeah, but I wanted to." Finally he peeled his eyes off the bottle and looked at Alice. "Generally when I was… bent… I didn't really think or want anything. I felt things—like physical things—hunger, thirst, pain… I acted on instincts, but nothing more. Like, I knew to take a dump without him telling me so, but not much more."

Alice rolled her eyes at the coarseness of his description, but didn't interrupt.

"But when I saw you… especially that time after he…" Jake hesitated but then ploughed through: "You looked so small lying there, all naked and not moving… That was the first time, the only time I sort of… woke up inside. And I wanted to do something, I wanted to help you, but it was like—I didn't know how. I literally couldn't figure out how to do anything other than what I was ordered to. It was the strangest feeling… the only feeling I had all this time."

For a moment neither of them spoke; Alice was mulling over what she'd just heard from him. It was an interesting bit of information. Jareth somehow managed to build new synapses in his subjects' brains, overriding the normal thinking and decision-making processes. Some neural connections continued normal operation—the "physical stuff" Jake mentioned, for one—and others lay unused while Jareth's newly built ones took over. Perhaps, in that specific situation, more neurons responsible for instinctual responses fired up—after all, there was definitely strong evidence to support the theory that humans were born with a strong protective instinct, and Alice had seen on her own example that the whole big-brother-watching-over-younger-sister thing was no joke. Jake had seen his little sister in distress and his brain had wanted to go into that protective mode—but Jareth's net of artificial synapses had been stronger.

"Blood is thicker than water," she summed up her wonderings philosophically. "At any rate, don't beat yourself up over this. It's in the past. I'm fine, you're fine, and we're gonna find Jareth and stop him one way or another."

"I'll drink to that," Jake agreed and they both raised their bottles in a toast.

Only a couple days after that conversation, an order came from the IOA regarding Jareth: Atlantis was to cease actively looking for him as it was eating up too many resources that could have been spent on dealing with the main Wraith alliance. Officially, then, the Fourth Atlantis Reconnaissance Team was to pick up their previous task of exploring the Pegasus galaxy; unofficially, Woolsey commanded everyone to continue their efforts while they were out on other missions. He was getting increasingly human-like, in Alice's opinion, and it wasn't sitting well with his former colleagues of the IOA. Previously, they had not been very quick to override decisions he had made while in Pegasus; but now it happened more and more often. Their directions were usually in opposition to what Woolsey was advising, and Alice's little theory was that they were trying to force him to go against them to create grounds for removing him from Atlantis. He already served as the expedition leader longer than anyone else—unless one counted Doctor Weir's tenure on Earth before coming to Pegasus.

And so the three of them—Perrault, Cooper, and Alice—went on exploring new planets, and supported other teams in different missions. Mostly, it was Alice's abilities that were sought after by the other team leaders—her scientific expertise or her Jumper pilot skills, though sometimes they needed Cooper's anthropology knowledge, or Perrault's tactical combat experience.

One of such missions led them to a planet designated MJ4-32R. Major Lorne's team had been sent there initially and had found a fairly advanced society that lived in an enclave deep underground, Genii-style, and thus managed to largely avoid being targeted by the Wraith. Lorne had sent out for the AR-4 to help out with negotiations with the inhabitants—Cooper was to help with the local culture and Alice was supposed to assess their technological advancements to see if there was anything they could share that might possibly be of help in the war with the Wraith.

"They call themselves Vareans," Lorne told them as they were walking from the Gate towards the entrance to the underground enclave. "They have all these customs that have to be observed or otherwise they take it as an insult… I'm telling you, it was not easy to convince them to even have these talks. Will, any help you can give us will be appreciated."

"What about their level of technology?" Alice asked curiously before Cooper had a chance to reply. "You said they were similar to the Genii?"

"Yes and no. Yes, because they clearly have radios and heavy machinery and their own kind of guns—but no, because everything the Genii have serves a single purpose: to beat the Wraith. The Vareans seem to be content to just be hiding away from them and develop their society at their own pace. And their enclave—but you must see it with your own eyes."

Lorne's words were explained when they finally got to the place with the entrance. Two men waited there for them and ushered them through. The entrance was just a hole in the ground, closed with a thick metal cover that made Alice instantly think of the one on M2F-221, the planet with a network of underground corridors full of toxic air—and the creature that lived in the dark. The force of the memory made her shudder as she climbed into the opening and started going down.

It didn't take long. The shaft was short and well-lit, the walls painted neutral gray. This continued in the first corridor they walked through, and then they stopped to take an elevator—a mechanical one, not an instant transporter like on Atlantis. Their guides didn't speak to them; in fact, they acted more like guards. Alice figured it was fair—any new visitors in the City were also accorded an escort, no matter if they were perceived as friendly or just neutral.

The elevator took them deep, deep into the guts of the planet. It was difficult to know just how far down they'd got without knowing how fast they were going, but Alice estimated at the very least a hundred and fifty yards, maybe more. And then they stepped off the elevator, and all three of them—those who hadn't been there before—stopped in their tracks and collectively expelled a sigh of awe.

They were standing on a sort of terrace overlooking a giant cavern—it was at least five hundred yards long and three hundred across. It appeared that they were on a middle level—there were eight more, four above them and four below, with each terrace jutting out further towards the center than the other, making it seem like the side of a pyramid—or an enormous staircase. Such balconies lined each wall of the cavern, so that on the lowest level, they nearly met in the middle. But aside from being impressively big, the entire place was also exceedingly beautiful—painted into pastel colors of powder blue, mint cream, and mauve, it shined from glassed or crystal elements and vibrated with more decided shades of omnipresent plants—flowers, shrubs and even small trees—in brilliant pots. Natural sunlight was coming from the ceiling through a network of shafts and mirrors, creating visible rays that brought certain details into relief while others remained in a comfortable shade.

"It's really something, isn't it?" Lorne commented in an undertone. "Must have taken a long time to build."

"How come the Wraith didn't find it?" Perrault wondered as their escort started up along the wall. All around them, there were people walking about, or sitting on little benches hidden away between the alleyways made of greenery; Alice spotted also something quite far away that looked almost like an outdoor café, with plenty of small wooden tables surrounded by chairs, with what was unmistakably waiters weaving through them, delivering food and drinks to patrons.

Their guides took them to a door that led to another brightly lit corridor, wider and more colorful than the previous one. They passed many doors on their way until finally they were ushered through one into a big hall with an impressive staircase and what looked like a crystal chandelier. A man wearing a dark red toga stood at the foot of the stairs; he welcomed them as they approached by a deep bow and a complicated hand gesture. Lorne and Cooper immediately reciprocated with the same and Alice and Perrault followed them a second later.

"Welcome to Vare!" He said, pronouncing it Vah -reh, with a rolling r.

"Thank you," Lorne replied, looking not at the man but down, at his shoes. Then he turned to the others. "This is Chancellor Mittal, the leader of his people. Chancellor, may I present you my colleagues?"

"Please." Mittal also looked down when speaking.

"Commandant Matthew Perrault—" Lorne didn't bother even trying pronouncing it the right way "—Captain Alice Boyd and Doctor William Cooper."

"It is an honor to meet you, Chancellor," Cooper replied, copying them both with his eyes peeled down. He also bowed a little again. This must have pleased Mittal because his welcoming smile grew and he answered with a little bow of his own.

"Please, come. We shall drink temet for good start of a relationship between our peoples!" And he led them up the stairs to a richly decorated room with a wide table in the middle, where the remainder of Lorne's team was already seated, alongside a few other Vareans, each of whom wore a differently colored toga. The chancellor made the presentation—they were his Principal Advisers. Alice understood them to be sort of department secretaries, or ministers; each had their own area of expertise: interplanetary relations, interior matters, defense and security, technology, and even agriculture. The Atlantians were invited to sit down amongst them, with Lorne and Cooper on each side of Mittal, and Alice positioned between the technology adviser on one side, and the defense one on the other.

Temet turned out to be a very strong wine of deep red, dry and herbal, a bit bitter for Alice's taste, but good nonetheless. The bad news was that it went straight to her head; after a single glass, she was already feeling lightheaded and dizzy. Thankfully, after that first glass, Mittal clapped his hands and a bunch of servers brought some snacks—not like a full meal, but cold cuts, cheeses and some local vegetables and fruits. Alice helped herself, hoping the food would help with the next glass, for it had been refilled and she felt it would be rude not to drink it, since everybody around her was. She tried to sip it slower this time, engaging in a dialogue more readily that she would normally do because it gave her an excuse for her smaller intake.

The defense minister was mostly talking to Perrault, who sat on his other side, and so it befell on Alice to make conversation with the technology adviser. Her name was Sathi; she was a small woman—even smaller than Alice herself—with a beautiful mane of black hair, bluish-gray eyes, and an olive skin. Her robe was the palest shade of azure and she had a nice, melodious voice.

The conversation got off to a rocky start when Alice apparently said or done something to offend Sathi, though she had no earthly idea what; however, after a moment of awkwardness and stiff, generic remarks, Alice expressed her awe at the Vareans' underground enclave, which mollified her counterpart a little, and, word to word, they began a more interesting dialogue about details of its construction and maintenance.

"And how are you able to hide all this from the Wraith?" Alice asked eventually, hoping that it wasn't another affront; but thankfully, this didn't seem to offend her interlocutrice.

"This entire place is built with only one purpose: to shelter our people from the Wraith," she replied, looking at her plate; Alice figured that it was a sign of respect for them, so she tried to do the same, though her curiosity had her looking up too often. "It is encased in a material we call cuppla that blocks the Wraith's ability to detect us through their ships' sensors. When they are near, we close the sun shafts and all the entrances; they are constructed in a way that preserves the plant life above, so it looks like there is nothing. The planet looks uninhabited."

"Cuppla?" Alice repeated curiously. "Is that an element that you mine here?"

"It is an alloy," was all Sathi was willing to say.

Alice didn't push. "How do you know when the Wraith are near?"

"We have our own sensors," Sathi answered, pride ringing in her voice. "They are strong enough to detect the Wraith ships in orbit above our planet, or Darts when they come through the Ancestral Ring. In fact we always know when it activates, so we can take precautions."

"That's amazing," Alice said, not hiding the impressed tone. "Do you get many visitors from other planets? Or refugees?"

"Not really." Sathi shrugged and Alice caught her throwing her a quick look. "We always go out to trade ourselves and prefer not to share our whereabouts. You never know if a Wraith worshipper isn't listening."

Alice nodded. "Secrecy is your best weapon. Seems like we're riding the same boat."

"I am sorry, I do not know what you mean."

"We live in a… an enclave, too," Alice explained cautiously. "Not underground, but we can also hide from the Wraith. So we keep the secret pretty close to heart, too." Except now Jareth knew perfectly well where Atlantis was located. The fact that the Wraith hadn't attacked yet must have meant that he didn't want to share this information with the other Hives—but, Alice thought, sooner or later he would come for them.

"Now you know ours," Sathi noted and Alice thought she heard tension in her voice now.

"We will not divulge your secret, we'd sooner die than do that," Alice promised, and then hesitated. "Unless…" She looked around at Lorne who was listening to the conversation Cooper was having with Mittal. Was she allowed to mention it? But then again, they were supposed to be building trust, weren't they?

"Unless what, Captain?" Now there was real alarm in Sathi's voice, and as Alice turned back she saw that the woman was now looking up, directly at Alice, which was the first time since they started talking.

"There is a Wraith out there, we call him Jareth," Alice began, speaking slowly and gingerly. "He has these… special abilities. You know how Wraith, especially the Queens, can sort of manipulate people?"

She nodded. "They use it to gain intelligence and to make Wraith worshippers."

"Exactly. But it's still… I mean, you can resist it. It's more difficult when they add the torture in, taking and giving back your life force all the time… but that takes time and it's still just enough to wean a person off the Wraith enzyme for them to regain their own mind." She paused for a moment, stealing another glance at Lorne, and then decided to chuck caution to the wind. She vaguely felt that it might not be the smartest thing to do and that she should wait until she was sober again, but the larger part of her brain was dismissing these thoughts. "Jareth has an ability to fully and completely take over a person's mind. Break them, so there is no independent thought left. Such people live to serve him, and he has an entire army of them." She shook her head. "He still has one of our people. We would never give up your secret willingly, the same way we would never give up ours, but if one of us is captured by Jareth again… it's nearly impossible to resist him."

Sathi blinked several times very quickly. "How does he do it?"

"We're not sure." Alice shrugged. "We know he messes with people's synapses, but how does he do it?"

"What are… synapses?"

"They're connections between neurons… basically your brain and nervous system has trillions of tiny cells that carry electrical impulses—that's how all information travels through our body, how we form thoughts, how we learn… anyways, synapses are the connections between these cells. The more often you do something, the stronger the synapses, and the easier it comes to you—that's why practice makes perfect." Alice tried to gauge if Sathi was following her, but the adviser's face was impenetrable. "At any rate, Jareth does something to these synapses that overrides the normal thinking and decision-making processes. You become… empty of any thought except to serve him. If he's not there, you'll just… lie there and do nothing. It's reversible," she added quickly. "Doctor Cooper was one of Jareth's victims, and now look at him—he's all back to normal. Though it took some doing."

Sathi nodded very slowly and then, finally, looked back down at her plate. Somehow, Alice didn't think it was a mark of respect this time. She seemed deep in thought. Then she appeared to have made a decision; she bowed deeply to Alice, without looking up, and excused herself from the table. Alice responded with a similar bow and then observed as the adviser walked around to Mittal and whispered something in his ear. He nodded to her and turned to Lorne, said something quietly, and then raised his voice over the general hum of conversation.

"Thank you all for honoring us with the rite of temet!" He proclaimed, standing up, head bowed. "With Ancestors' blessing, we have made the first step on the path to a long and friendly relationship between our two peoples!" He inclined his head even more. "Now we must go and attend to matters of state. We have prepared comfortable chamber for you to rest."

And with that, he turned around and left, closely followed by all of his advisers. The Atlantians were escorted by their previous guides back downstairs and along the corridor. They entered another hall—less splendid, though still very elegant—and were ushered to a comfortable room with multiple sofas, armchairs and tables.

"What was that about?" Lorne asked Alice as soon as they were left alone by their escort.

"I should not have drunk the wine," Alice said, rolling her own eyes at herself, sat down in an armchair opposite Lorne, and then related her conversation with Sathi. "I didn't really reveal anything classified, or secret," she added as she finished. "I figured, warning them about Jareth couldn't hurt our cause—but they might feel more open to us if they see that we are honest with them… and he's a genuine threat to all the people of this galaxy, not only Atlantis."

Lorne nodded. "I mentioned him to Mittal before," he admitted. "But without such details. I wonder what was it that made them all split off? You didn't insult them, did you?"

"I don't think so." Alice shook her head emphatically. "But I am at a loss, too. Sathi looked as if something I said made her think of something else—like something suddenly made sense, if you know what I mean?"

"Yeah, but what could that be?"

"I have no idea. What did you say to Mittal about Jareth?" Alice asked curiously. She didn't really talk to Lorne since he "woke up".

"Just that he was out there and that he held us prisoner for a while." The major looked away for a moment, but then sighed and looked back up at Alice. "Which reminds me, there's something I wanted to tell you." He paused for a beat, and then finished: "Thank you. If not for you, we'd all still be there. I don't know how you managed to resist him, but I'm glad you did."

Alice felt herself blush a bit and responded with a bashful smile. "I was saving my own ass." She tried to shrug it off, but Lorne wouldn't allow it.

"Even if that's true, it doesn't change the fact that you managed to save all of our asses, too." He gestured to his team who was sat on a sofa nearby and to Cooper who was talking to Perrault on another one. "And not only did you bring us all home, you found a way to bring us out of that… stupor. You did that."

"That's quite an exaggeration," Alice protested. "It was a team effort, I just had the initial idea."

"And you thought of using the nanites, and you did their programming," he insisted.

"With Doctors McKay and Zelenka," Alice pushed back. "Like I said, team effort."

"Yeah, but none of it would happen if you didn't come up with the ideas." Lorne shook his head and half-rolled his eyes at once. "Why are you so difficult at accepting praise?"

Alice raised her eyebrows. Was she, really? She always thought of herself as a little too susceptible to praise and compliments. It usually made her feel a little too good about herself; it was like something swelling up inside her chest that wouldn't quite go away for a while. So why wasn't she feeling like this now? Lorne was right, after all. She did manage to resist Jareth when nobody else could, she did escape and brought help so that almost everyone was saved, and she was largely responsible for finding a way to counteract the effects of the Wraith's mind-bending. So why didn't it feel like a win at all?

"I don't know," she replied, dropping her gaze and frowning. "I just think I was incredibly lucky through it all. And… well, I didn't save everyone."

"You mean Karim?" She didn't answer, so he continued: "It wasn't your fault. You did everything right. Casualties are to be expected in a war, you know. And it's not like he's dead—I mean, there's still a chance we'll get him back. We don't leave our people behind."

Alice nodded, but she remained unconvinced. She did exactly that—she left a member of her team behind. And she failed to take Jareth down. That the two goals—saving Karim and killing Jareth—had been contradictory in the circumstances that she had faced mattered little.

Lorne sighed, recognizing that he didn't really get through to her. "You're different than I had thought," he muttered almost under his breath, but Alice heard.

"What do you mean?" She frowned again.

"When you first came to Atlantis, do you remember? Right off the bat, I didn't really like you," he explained.

"I wasn't sure, I thought I was imagining it!" She exclaimed, remembering the weird look that she sometimes saw—or thought she saw—in his eyes; as if he was laughing at her in his head.

"Well, I tried to hide it. I generally try to give people the benefit of the doubt." He smiled at her baffled expression. "I have a buddy who used to know you. So when you came to Atlantis I already had his account of you, and it wasn't very flattering, I'm afraid."

"Who was that?"

"His name's Diego Vasquez."

"Oh." Now it made sense. Vasquez was a fellow F-302 pilot on the Prometheus who was assigned to the same machine as Alice—they had 12-hour shifts. One day, when it was Alice's shift, an order had come to man their fighters, and so Alice had set off for the hangar bay only to find Vasquez already in her seat. They had had a spat, which she had won, but Vasquez had held a grudge. Things had only deteriorated from that and they had finally escalated to when the man had intentionally sabotaged the ship, trying to pin the blame on Alice; instead, she had saved the day and he had been found out and dismissed from the 302 program. "Yeah, I don't doubt it. He wouldn't have anything good to say about me for sure. What's he up to these days?"

"He got out of the service a few years ago and now flies for Delta."

Alice grinned. He had always been so full of himself, thinking he was better than everybody… better than her. Now the joke was on him!

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" She said, mockery now very audible in her voice. "And he had such a bright future before him!"

Lorne cocked his head to the side and raised his eyebrows. "He's not a bad person, you know. It really hit him hard when he was dropped out of the Program."

"Well, he did that to himself!" Alice's empathy was severely tempered by the memory of three engineers, Doctor Novak among them, lying on the ground after Vasquez's sabotage had causes an energy burst that had knocked them out cold.

"How do you mean?" Lorne sounded surprised.

"What did he tell you happened?"

"He said that you blamed him for a technical failure because of a feud you two had," he explained. "And that he was unable to provide sufficient evidence against that."

"Really? That's what he said?" Alice grimaced. "And you believed him? I mean, why wouldn't you," she answered herself immediately. "He was your friend and I was an unknown, of course you'd believe your friend over a stranger."

"I wouldn't call him a friend," Lorne corrected. "Just a buddy from way back when. But I had no reason to doubt his words. So what exactly happened between you two?"

Alice related the whole thing—from the first altercation through all their disagreements and petty quarrels, to the sabotage. Lorne was appropriately appalled at the story, but he seemed to believe her without reservations.

"I was surprised that they only dismissed him from the Program," she confessed. "I would've thought he'd be discharged, dishonorably." Technically, officers were dismissed from the service, not discharged, but she wanted to underline how thoroughly she thought Vasquez had fucked up. "I mean, he actually sabotaged a spaceship, hurting three people on the way."

"His commitment was coming up just then," Lorne said musingly. "He simply didn't extend it. I had thought that he felt betrayed by the brass, but maybe he was forced out. They probably didn't want to make it a spectacle 'cause they were afraid he'd talk. Dismissal under dishonorable conditions can haunt you for a long time."

"Maybe so." Alice still thought that the man had got off easy, but it was a long time ago and she decided to let it go.

"I think…" Lorne began, but he stopped, because the door to the room opened and two people entered: Sathi and the Defense Adviser, whose name, Alice remembered, was Krona. They both stopped before Lorne and Alice and bowed low. Alice and Lorne exchanged a look, got up to their feet and responded in a similar manner.

"Please, can you two come with us? There is something we must discuss," said Krona, his eyes dropped respectfully.

Alice and Lorne looked at each other again.

"Of course. Lead the way." Lorne also dropped his gaze while speaking.