Rory all but bulldozed into Deva's office when her next session rolled around.

"It's nice to see someone's excited for therapy," Deva said, as she shut the door behind Rory.

Rory tossed her bag onto the couch and began to pace. She stopped and smacked her hands together. "I have good news," she said.

"Let's hear it," Deva replied, taking a seat.

"I'm going to keep working at BCB Health. If things don't work out there, I'll start looking for jobs as a senior editor, not as a journalist."

"Really? You were so against staying there a little while ago. What changed your mind?"

"I want to learn how to be Rory. Not Rory Gilmore, journalist. When I started writing, everyone in my life was so proud of me. And I was so good at it that I thought that being a journalist was my destiny. I still love journalism and still love writing but I shouldn't have made that my job. I am strictly a writing as a hobby kind of girl." Rory laughed. "Ugh, I can't believe Mitchum Hunztberger was right about me."

"Mitchum?"

"Logan's dad. Billionaire. Newspaper mogul. Almost won a Pulitzer."

"How nice."

"Yeah, nice. He gave me my first internship at a newspaper, his newspaper. He told me that after working with me that I didn't have what it took to be a journalist. That I wasn't gutsy enough."

"How'd you respond to that?"

"Remember the story about me stealing a boat?" Rory replied.

"Gotcha."

"My job shouldn't be the only thing that makes me happy. It should make me money so I can do things to make myself happy, you know? Like being able to afford an apartment that allows pets so I can live with my cat again."

Deva nodded, "You're right. A lot of people fall into the trap of needing their job to give them purpose. While it's lovely to find your calling, so to speak, the odds that working in a mailroom or sweeping floors is one's calling are not high. I'm glad you've made this decision for yourself, Rory."

"Me too."

"How did Logan react when you told him? It must have been shocking."

Rory slipped down onto the couch. "I haven't told him yet."

"Have you told him you've been going to therapy?"

"Also no."

"What's stopping you from telling him?"

Rory twisted her lips. "You remember that my list of Therapy goals had us figuring out why I can't stay away from men in a relationship?"

"Oh," Deva said. "Logan has a girlfriend."

"Wife, actually."

Deva was silent for a moment before nodding. "Thank you for telling me, Rory."

Rory raised her eyebrows. "That's it? That's your response to the fact that I'm the sluttiest slut to have ever slutted for sleeping with a guy who's been married for two years?"

"You've already acknowledged that what you're doing isn't the smartest or healthiest. You don't need me telling you my opinion on extramarital affairs to influence how you already feel about the situation."

"You mean like shit?" Rory replied. "This isn't even the first time I've slept with a married man, you know. I lost my virginity to a married man, Deva. The fact that every shirt I own doesn't have flaming 'A' is the biggest mystery since January Jones' baby daddy."

"I'd like you to take a break on beating yourself up." Deva said, "You are not some incredible mind-controlling succubus. The men who slept with you are equally to blame. It takes two to do the horizontal tango, Rory. How did you end up losing your virginity to a married man?"

Though it made her want to curl up and die, Rory recounted the story of 'Rory and Dean'. From the blissful first kiss to the sex to the messy goodbye. Like Rory hadn't been trying to not think about that since Dean ran from her.

"And you're obviously repeating this bad decision making with Logan. You said you broke up after you graduated from Yale, how did you two end up reconnecting?"

"By accident. He was in the same apartment building and I was a little sad and a little drunk so we slept together."

"Did you know he was married?"

"Not until the morning after. But he told me that the thing between him and Odette–"

"His marriage?"

Rory rubbed her arm, "Yeah, his marriage was more business than love. Her father is big in media in England and Mitchum was looking to expand."

"And you believe that?"

"Yes?"

"Is that a question?"

"No?"

"Is that a question?"

"I don't know!"

Deva held up her hands to calm Rory down. "Okay, fine. Why were you sad the first time you and Logan reconnected?"

"My grandfather died," Rory said as she began to pick at the skin on her thumbnail, "And I lost my job and my grandmother and I had a huge fight. It was...messy."

"I can imagine. So, things between you and Logan are good?"

"Yes?"

"Now that was definitely a question," Deva replied.

"Things between us are good but it's become too familiar. Like one huge deja vu episode or something. I don't get it. I don't get anything. First Dean, now Logan. Do you think I have a fetish for married men? Should I write for Penthouse now?

"No fetishes here. You just let your very human emotions steer you into very human decisions, which can be bad sometimes."

"You're losing me, Deva," Rory replied.

Deva smiled, "All of the relationships you'll ever have, will be associated with something. That something could a song or a smell or a feeling. For the rest of your life, that song or smell will remind you of a relationship whether it was good or bad. Dean was your first love. You probably felt safe and happy with him before breaking up and in a time of stress, you might have wanted the security again, even though he was married to someone else. These kinds of relationships don't last because you rediscover the reasons you broke up the first time. "

The hamster wheel that was Rory's brain started turning. When she decided to jump into bed with Dean like the teenage Jezebel she was, things at Yale had been shaky. She was living away from her mom for the first time ever and she had been having a tough time adjusting. Dean's dick had been her security blanket.

Ew.

Rory crossed her arms. "I don't think so. What's happening between me and Logan now is different. Dean and I were never going to work out. I was at Yale all the time and he was stuck in Stars Hollow. We were never going to see each other. We were going different places. Logan and I aren't."

Deva crossed her arms. "Where exactly are you, Logan, and Odette going Rory?"