Chapter Thirty Six

As I open the door for myself and the girls, my heart seems to sink down to my stomach. There's no way that I can feel comfortable telling Kuon that people are discussing him in such a hurtful manner. I close my eyes, the pain flowing through me and let the girls in. I just hope that he never discovers it on his own. "Why don't you go into the living room and we can watch a movie together," I suggest. I sigh and see Father approach me.

"You all look so glamorous," he says, giving a wink to the girls. I walk into his arms without thinking. He wraps his arms around me immediately bringing me into a hug. I sigh and try to blink back tears and he doesn't say anything, just holds me. Once the girls are gone he turns to me, "Are you okay? I can set a movie up for them if that helps."

"Why can't people leave things alone?" I ask and Father stares at me. I look away, my heart painfully twisting in my chest. "Kuon is doing his best. I don't want to hear that people are talking about him in a hurtful way and especially in front of the girls."

"I know," Father nods. "I think it's best to ignore it unless it really starts becoming a problem. People don't understand Kuon's disability and even for me, it makes me angry just thinking about it. Earlier this year, Kuon was a healthy and able man, he won an Academy Award, he helped others, ran around with the girls, was able to give long speeches. He's gone through much more than he should and even if he struggles, he's still doing his best. I can see the shame in his face because he doesn't acknowledge that. He doesn't acknowledge how hard he's working or that he's improving at an unrealistic speed."

I look down and away from Father, "He's never been that good at recognizing his own accomplishments. He was Tsuruga Ren, I'm sorry but he had more of a following than Hozu Shuuhie or at least that's what the med-"

"He did," Father assures me, "I'm sure that he still does. He's been doing well today. He's in the bedroom if you wanted to see him or do you want me to che-"

"I'll do it," I tell him without even letting him finish. Father smiles and I walk over to the bedroom. I take a deep breath wondering how he'll react to my makeup and haircut. I knock on the door before opening it and am surprised to see him awake and sitting in the bed, he has a book open on his lap and not just the type of book that Nate had. This is a book that a junior in high school might be reading.

"Hi," I tell him and he looks up before smiling to me. His smile always makes me feel happy and it lights up a room, it's so bright especially with the color of his hair and eyes.

"Wo'w," he says happily and I feel giddy inside, "You loo' gor'ou…" he frowns and I tilt my head to the side not sure how to reply to him. "Gor'ou…gor'ou," he keeps trying to get out and I go over to him. I sit on the bed and kiss his lips, he returns the passionate kiss and I feel so wanted by him.

"Thank you," I tell him as I let my fingers brush through his shorter hair, careful of where his wounds are. "I'm glad that I look gorgeous. It makes me so happy that you like it."

"I lo' I'" he struggles again and I can see the pain in his face, "I lo' i—ju''li'…lo'..you."

He grimaces and closes his eyes at the way he's speaking and the sound of his own voice. Does he remember that less than a month ago, they were saying that he might never speak again? He has such difficulty with it and I see him blame himself but he's speaking, He's saying things that I can understand and although he's still slow and a little sloppy in his speech, it has sped up a little.

"I love you so much," I remind him.

….

…..

I always find it cute how stubborn he can be when he has a cold. I bring him soup and a card that Rose drew him to say that she wants him to recover. He takes the tray and watches me, "Thank you, princess" he smiles to me and I want to stop his throat from hurting. His voice sounds so sore.

"Just…I hope you feel a little better," I tell him as I check his temperature again, he's got a slight fever. "I think you should stay in bed and rest today."

"I'm fine," he sulks and I laugh at how this twenty-nine-year-old can act like a toddler. Still, I would never want to be with anyone else.

"You have a slight fever and you have work tomorrow," I try to remind him and he pouts again.

"I had work today," he replies moodily and I sit on the bed with him. He already checked it over with the director and they told him to feel better as they didn't want to risk his voice for future scenes. The host on the talk show he would be appearing on filmed their material in advance and are already advertising another star for the slot. They also rescheduled but nobody wants to catch a cold.

"Well eat your soup, rest in bed and I'm sure that you'll be able to go into work tomorrow," I tell him and he looks down before smiling. He turns to me.

"I'm sorry for being….moody," he apologizes and I laugh. He always gives us so much of himself. It really is okay for him to be a little grumpy when he's sick.

"Well we all get to be moody now and again," I laugh softly, "besides, this gives me more reason to be the one to spoil you." I go over to him, push his hair back and kiss his forehead as he sighs. Kuon can act like a baby all he wants to, it will never make me feel anything but lucky that I married him.

….

….

I know that she has to be protective of me and usually I try and make her feel better by doing my best not to show fear. I'm scared of her leaving whilst I talk with the therapist. It's two days before Christmas and therefore her birthday but they thought that the earlier that I start therapy the better. Now that I can talk and be understood by others, it's supposed to be the next step of my treatment. Kyoko opens up a fashion magazine ready for when I go into the session.

"I'm going to be right out here, okay? I won't leave," she tells me and I stare down. I know that the therapist is trained to deal with cases like mine but I still don't want to have a panic attack. I look away before closing my eyes. "Kuon?" she asks as she touches my cheek. "We can do this another day if you're not -"

"Co' wi' me?" I ask her slowly and she blinks in shock before nodding and offering me a soft smile.

"Of course. I'll come and sit by your side the entire time if you'd like me to," she says as she takes my hand again. I feel so pathetic. It's as if I'm only half here. I want to go out and live my life again. I want to achieve something meaningful. It's as if I'm an observer in my own life but I'm frozen without the skills I need to complete even the most minor of tasks.

The therapist comes out and turns to us, "Mr. Hizuri, Kuon, you can come in now." I try to stand up, feeling nervous out of the chair. I can walk but they want me to go easy for at least the first month I'm out of the hospital after the attack. Kyoko takes my hand and with just a head gesture convinces me to sit down again.

"I's o'ay for K'oko to…joi'—joi'—join?" I struggle. I hate how I speak now. If I could only transmit my thoughts then nobody would see much of a difference in me but some people consider me of low intelligence because of my struggle to speak properly. I hate him for this.

"I'm sorry," the therapist says and I nervously reach for Kyoko's hand, she grabs mine and squeezes it wanting to do what she can so that I can be comfortable. We're a team. We'll work through this as a team. I just have to remember that we're a team. "I didn't hear any of that."

Kyoko coughs and raises an eyebrow and I look at her. There's not going to be a confrontation, is there? I'm pretty sure that no legal professional would want to say something cold, my speaking ability is probably not as good as I thought it was and of course Kyoko can understand me, she can understand what I want to say without me even saying anything.

I frown trying to form my words, "I-Iss i—i—" I grimace as I feel a sharp stab in my brain, no I have to work through this. Kyoko stands in front of me, her face shows that she's worried about some kind of an attack but I need to. The pain is really sharp right now.

"C-C-C-a-ann," I struggle again and hear the therapist cough.

"We should get started with the session," she tells us and I feel guilty that I wasted all of this time.

"Maybe we should find someone else," Kyoko says and I feel that things are going in the wrong direction. I pause and grab to the arm rest of the wheelchair. I need to calm down and not panic. I can't let my brain go into overload again. I have to keep calm and not panic.

"No," I speak slowly trying to be calm with my words, "Le's sta'"

"Well, yes, let's start," the therapist says and Kyoko hums whilst crossing her arms over her chest. "And yes, if it would make you feel more comfortable your wife can join us, that is a very common request."

Kyoko turns to me and I see how worried she is about this. It was my fault for not being able to be understood, not the therapist's. I feel bad that I'm causing so much trouble for everyone. The therapist holds the door open for us and I grip the arm of the wheelchair and Kyoko chooses to sit on the chair and not the sofa.

"So, how are you feeling today?" she asks and I sigh. She takes out a clipboard but I shake my head. Kyoko watches me.

"I fe'e guil'" I tell her trying to speak more clearly. If I can't be understood it just means that I try harder. "I' near'y Chri'ma'. Near'y Ko'ko bir'ay" I want to hate myself for not being able to say my words properly. I'm taking speech therapy and I'm watching Sesame Street with the girls to expose myself with simple words and sounds but it's not working quickly enough.

"Well, birthdays come and go. I'm sure that your wife," she says and am I imagining that she's casually gesturing to Kyoko as if she doesn't matter, "understands if you don't celebrate. She doesn't need any presents."

Kyoko sighs and bows her head, "That is true, Kuon. My best pre-"

"I di' ge' her…." I say quickly before pausing. It was supposed to be a surprise. I don't know if it's a good enough gift but I did ask Dad to help me with shopping. I showed him what I was looking at and he went to get it for me. I then transferred some money to him with his help despite him telling me that I didn't have to pay him back. If I don't pay for it then it's not really from me besides, I have the money despite the cost of the hospital bills.

"You did get me something?" Kyoko asks as she leans forward. "I'm really excited to see what it is."

"Well, I wouldn't be too excited," the therapist comments and I look down. Maybe what I got her is stupid or it wasn't enough. I got her a couple of pieces but maybe she won't like it or she won't want to wear it. "Often when people get head injuries they develop dementia or other medical conditions that make it unlikely for them to pick wise gifts."

I pause feeling awkward. I got her a glass rose from a famous company that mirrors the rose that I got her for her first birthday and then I also bought her a jewelry set with a necklace and a pair of earrings that I thought she'd like. Both were very expensive but she's worth it. With how much she's sacrificed for me and spent on me to even improve this much she's more than worth it.

"Kuon will always pick excellent gifts," Kyoko argues back and I look at the ground, maybe it's not something that she'd like. "And he doesn't have dementia or a mental condition. He might have depression and anxiety but don't treat him like he's disabled. Besides, he could give me trash and I'd still appreciate it."

I look at her. What did she just say?

End of Chapter 36

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Thank you as always to Kaname671 for reviewing Chapter 35