Hikari stood in front of crossroad. If she continued on the right, she will take the path to go home. She knew that her father was waiting for her. She knew that if she took this road, she will end up in the brothel and will live here until the end of her life. But at least, Tarou, her father, the man who raised her, would be safe.
However, if she decided to take the road at the left, and run away with Mamoru, she might be responsible for her father's death. Could she live with that on her conscience for the rest of her life? Even if it was the same man who is ready to sell her in exchange on his own life. Hikari was at a turning point of her life and she was scared. She just wanted to go back in past and never have to do this decision. However, she couldn't stay on this crossroad forever.
"Shigure-nii, do you want an egg topping on your rice?" called Kureno's voice from the kitchen. The man rose his nose up from the paper he was working on "Ah? Yes please" he answered before taking his attention back on his draft. He had almost completed his book, however, Shigure still hesitated about which end to write. Will Hikari decide to break free and leave everything she know behind her, or will she accept her fate and live forever locked in a whorehouse. Shigure smirked to himself, maybe the choice wasn't his to do.
He put away his drafts as he heard Kureno's footsteps in the hallway. He stood up before his cousin could pass his head through the door. "Food is ready." He said gently and Shigure made his biggest beam. "Ah! Great, I was starving, Kureno, you would a nice house-wife." He teased, taking a dig but Kureno was too gullible to notice it. It almost made his eyes roll in a blasé manner, not funny. They both walked to the table where Kureno prepared two sets for them to eat. It wasn't much but rice and a piece of fried beef that Kureno had sliced.
It has been more than two weeks since Kureno started to live with him. As a gratitude for his cousin to allow him to stay here until finding a new roof, Kureno had clear the whole house to the point Shigure had the impression to rediscover his own home. Of course, Kureno only took care of the shared rooms, so Shigure's bedroom and office were still dumping grounds to the point it was disturbingly contrasting.
"Your editor come today, isn't it?" asked Kureno to make the discussion, eating silently. Looked like he needed to talk when eating, thing he wasn't doing in their young days, he used to respect his cousins desire of silence when Ayame wasn't around to bawl. It annoyed Shigure that he probably took this habit from Akito, she too was always trying to make a discussion when eating. However, if he adored sharing a conversation with his lovable girlfriend, he wasn't that adamant to do the same with his cousin. Especially if it was to talk about nothing, Shigure answered nevertheless. "Mit-chan? Yeah, this afternoon, what a pain!" he whined, looking at his cousin.
He knew that the reason why Akito was always trying to make a conversation was because she needed to have the attention of the other. Shigure know it was something she didn't grow with; she was a lonely person but she hated it, she was feeling transparent. Shigure guessed that for years Kureno have been the only she could talk with. Since Yuki did not know about her secret, Kureno was the only one who could be her confident. Yet, she didn't tell him about the relationship she had with him. Guess Akito was full of secret. Shigure hoped that he was the one Akito trust the most, the one Akito will tell to all her secrets. And he would tell her everything he has in mind.
Shigure let for half of a second a tired expression shows in his eyes, but he quickly covered it by a yawn. He won't let anyone saw his weaknesses. The people he allowed himself to show were his dear Mabudachi and Akito. Nobody else. Funny how he was cursed by the spirit of the dog when in reality he feels himself being more a wolf. Yet, wolves can't live alone, they needed to be in pack and Shigure needed to be with Akito, quick. He was missing her so much.
He had never been that away from her since the cruel decision he had made last year. He did not know when he would see her again and it was eating him. That was how she had felt when he stopped seeing her? God, it was horrible, this feeling… It made Shigure angry, not that Kureno noticed it, his anger was something cold, something slow but clearly present, like water freezing. Shigure wanted to run to Akito's house and directly kidnap her away, but the consequences will be catastrophic and his plan will flop. Now, he needed to be patient. It was alright, he waited twenty years to meet her, he could wait a little more. One thing Shigure was sure, he always gets what he wants.
"It's a good thing your books are selling-well Shigure-nii. Akito loves them." Said Kureno. "I was so surprised when she started to read your light novels, not that I knew it was yours at the time." Kureno smiled gently. "She does really love you"
"Oh no, you're jealous? You want me to give you a little of my love?" he said playfully in a gasp, as he would do for anybody. That kind of comment always made people back away in cringe, unless if the said person was Ayame. Shigure didn't like being observed by somebody he didn't allow to, being saw through, and Kureno was not. However, he needed to do concession. Basically, Kureno was like his future brother-in-law…A brother in law who have sleep with his sister…
Shigure frowned internally; no, don't think about it, you're going to get bitter, angry, jealous, it's not a good. Don't show him your real feelings. Never.
"Haha, you're still joking around as ever!" said Kureno, oblivious as ever. "It's nice to see you haven't changed" he added, his eyes suddenly distant. Shigure could see the regret of all the time they missed together in Kureno's eyes. Shigure used to like Kureno when they were younger, he liked having this little boy following him like a duck follow its mother. They could have been great friend if only he never took that place next to Akito and if Shigure wasn't terribly jealous. Even now, he still wondered why and how he took this place.
"Anyway, not that I want to chase you away, but how is your search for accommodation?" Said Shigure, changing the conversation. "Ah, you remember that house near of the forest you told me about, the place is indeed vacant. I have to do the formalities to get in and I will probably need to talk to Ren…Not that it please me" the man frowned. Thinking about Ren thrilled him and once again, he found himself worrying over Akito. He put his rice bowl down. "Shigure-nii, don't you feel concerned?" Shigure rise his eyebrows up. "About Akito being alone…With Ren… I mean" he blushed "You probably saw some marks on her body…"
You mean the marks I haven't done? He did not say, he knows if he were to spurt the words, it will go out with contempt. Kureno really wanted to talk about Akito and Shigure wished he would stop. Couldn't he get the hint that Shigure did not want to have this conversation? Even after weeks. Unless he did get it and Kureno decided to push the limit until he would get answers. If that was the case, Shigure had to admit he was impressed by Kureno's guts. But they could be two to play this game. "Well, of course I'm concerned, like you are." He just said so Kureno couldn't add more. They both finished their foods in silence and Kureno cleared the table.
He had told to Shigure that when he was living with Akito, he was the one doing the duty as cleaning the house or clearing the table. Ren and the maids neglected Akito's rooms. He had told him that since Akito liked things being tidy and made sure it stood that way, all that Kureno needed to do was dusting their rooms. It was clearly different from cleaning Shigure's kitchen and bathroom. He took him two entire days to clean up the house. And since he had this information about her, Shigure was been day dreaming in his office. He already suspected Akito being a fanatical neat but now that Kureno confirmed this information, Shigure couldn't help but imagine even more their daily domestic life.
Without a doubt, she will be behind him to clean the mess he will do, ready to yell and force him to clear it up. To made her enraged, he will without a doubt, making more mess in purpose. It was her fault to be adorable when angry. He knows she will respect his office and leave him in his trash. However, she will assuredly won't allow that for the rest of the house, their house. The one they would be sharing. Ah, Shigure have been imagining it, idealizing it for months. He wanted to be in that place he cherished with her soon. He was ready to abandon everything else, but she, would she be?
Yawning and thanking Kureno, Shigure moved back in his office and continued to write. Today he won't tease Mitsuru, because he had most important things to think about and to do instead of amusing himself from her scream. He hoped she won't worry for him; he knew how important were habit and Shigure didn't wanted Mitchan to think he was sick. Humming, he took out one of his property magazines he searched in and flipped a page open. He looked in details the rent for apartment in Anjou city.
He barely had the time to try to take the phone that the door of his office slid open loudly that Shigure was scared it would fall out. Mitsuru was here, standing just in the middle of way so Shigure wouldn't try to run away. She had a tired expression mixed with craziness. "Sen-sensei, today I won't let you escape! Now, give me your drafts" she said, her body shaking in emotion. Ah, Mitsuru was so nice to him, he didn't even need to prepare any scheme to make her react as he wanted to amuse him.
"Of course Mitchan, it's here~" he said, waving the papers as a taunt. Her eyes narrowed, it wouldn't be the first time he would give her in purpose the wrong papers and sneak out, the time to notice the sentences were copied words from the famous Futabatei Shimei's book Ukigumo. She slowly took the paper and started to read, still up and looking back to Shigure from time to time, making sure the devil was still on the chair.
She verified all the pages quickly and when she assured herself that there were nothing coming up and she sat at the chabudai and started to do her work, tears in the eyes. "Oh my god, sensei, thank you for doing your work today! I don't know if you planned something but thank you so much!" she sobbed and Shigure couldn't hold back a childish giggle. "Haw! Mitchan, to hear you, it sounds like I'm make you living a hell haha!" Mitchan sobbed louder when she remembered all her stress that was pilling up because of this man. Shigure had to wait a few minutes for her weeps to change into hiccups. He looked this shown while eating a tangerine.
While Mitsuru was reading seriously the last drafts, sometimes asking him why he used that kanji or that word in particular. Shigure put his glasses on and continued to wander his eyes through his books. He will need to call an agency soon, there was a house that caught his attention. "You know Mitchan" he called "It's probably going to be my last book." He said in a subtle smile. The woman turned her nose toward Shigure's direction, eyes full like saucers. "Uh?" she succeeded to breathe, not quite understanding what her writer just said. Shigure did not repeat and gave her a huge beam.
It was at this moment Mitsuru realized all the books, the magazines, flyers and the map laying around the room. "Shigure-san will move somewhere?" she asked, still under shock. It was so sudden. It's only when she will go home that she will understand she will probably never see that man again that she will scream in joy. But until then, she stood stunned. "Where?"
"Don't know" he lied. "It's a big world and Japan is vast. Maybe I could live overseas? That's sound like an adventure? Don't you think?" he said, excited like a five years old child and Mitsuru blinked even more. "I…I, but…Sensei, what about your books?! Your work?!" she almost screamed and Shigure winced, closing an eye. "Ahw, Mitchan, are you worried? I didn't know you cared so much about me haha~"
"It's because you are useless sensei! How will you survive?!" She screamed and this time, Shigure had to put a finger in his ear. "Here, here Mitchan, it's alright, I'm a big boy" he said carelessly and Mitsuru wanted to scream even more. Why that man was leaving a job that paid him well. As a Japanese woman, Mitsuru couldn't understand. She stared a him a moment before Shigure reminded her about the drafts. She felt strange, she was reading probably one of the last drafts she was going to ever receive from that man. Then she suddenly remembered all the times she ran after him to get those damned drafts and she felt the need to strangle him hard.
Still, it felt strange to have Shigure that calm when he was usually whiny like a kid. She silently read until the final page and turned her head back to the writer. "Next chapter is the final one?" she asked silently. "But, which choice will she do?" the man simply smile "I don't know yet, I hope soon." He giggled and its infuriated Mitsuru. "what do you mean you don't know yet?! It's your story!" Shigure just shrugged, making a lips noise that irritated her. She left half of an hour after, the drafts in her bag.
"Mitchan, I will send you the last chapter when I finish it, so I guess it's a bye-bye." He simply said on the porch and Mitsuru eyes went full again. She bowed and left, showing her back to the man. Shigure sighed. It was his first farewell. He felt a little sad to see his favorite toy leaving, but he knew it was for the best. He hoped he will be strong enough when it will be time to say goodbye to his mabudachi and family. He turned back in his house, he had to think about that final chapter and which ending he and Akito will go through.
Hours after, he and Kureno were both at the living room unde the chabudai, him reading the news paper and Kureno watching the TV, or at least, looked like -his eyes weren't focused; they both turned their heads simultaneously at the door. Somebody had knocked. Kureno looked at Shigure. "You were waiting for somebody?" he asked quietly and Shigure just shrugged before standing up. "Well, I called Haa-san a few days ago, but he did not answer me. Maybe he came instead?" he thought aloud. "Unless it's Aaya, it's been a while since I saw him, aaah~ my dear darling, I miss him" he mused before opening the door and stared
"Well, if it's isn't a surprise. What's brought you here?" Shigure asked in a beam, giggling pleasantly. "Tsk! Just let us in bastard!" answered Kyo, visibly annoyed to be out under the rainy weather. "Sure, sure, make yourself at home." He took a step back, allowing his guests in the genkan.
"Thank you for receiving us Shigure-san." Said Tohru in a bow, he simply made a gesture of the hand. "It's alright Tohru-kun, I'm always happy to see both of you" he genuinely smiled and then petted Tohru's head. He stopped when he heard Kyo groaning a muffled 'don't touch her perv' and he simply rolled his eyes. "You want some tea, we already made some."
Kyo face lost its color " 'We'…Is Ayame here?" He asked in a silently, fear in the eyes and a part of Shigure wanted to mood him. But the other part of him probably wanted to enjoy the few moments left with the boy, so he didn't tease the boy. "Haha, no, but I'm housing somebody." The man made a gesture of the chin to invite the two teenagers further in his house and then walked to the living room where Kureno was standing up.
Tohru squealed in delight by seeing the man and bowed while Kyo just frowned. "What's wrong Kyon-chan, you don't recognize your cousin?" Teased Shigure, knowing well that Kyo probably never saw Kureno. He wasn't allowed in the new-year banquet, they never had the occasion to meet. However, Kyo groaned and walked beside him to sit at the table after presenting himself to the man, the movement reminded Shigure that old grumpy cat wandering behind his high school. Kureno followed the boy and sat back at his place. Shigure studied the sight in front of him and remembered that neither Kyo nor Tohru told him the reason they came for.
"Tohru wanted to ask you something and since she didn't know where you live, so I accompanied her." Explained Kyo, almost cavalier, pouring a cup of tea to warm to freezing fingers. Shigure eyebrows went up and he looked at Tohru who was twisting her fingers anxiously. He smirked. Kyo was really cute as a boy in love and Tohru naivety was adorable, he was going to miss it. He hoped they would have a future together…Sadly, the curse made it otherwise. He almost wanted to comfort them, but it wasn't his role.
"Y-yes…Can I talk to you in private?" she asked in a small voice, before getting closer to him and tip-toed herself up to his ear to whisper 'it's about Akito-san' that made Shigure carefree expression disappear. He quickly rolled his eyes to the two men at the table. Kureno wasn't caring about what was happening and put his attention back on the TV while Kyo was sending him deathly glare, probably jealous to see Tohru being so close of somebody that wasn't him.
"Oi what you two are you doing?!" he almost yelled and Tohru blushed of anxiety and Shigure plastered another smiling face on his features. "I can't tell Kyon-kun, it's a secret between me and Tohru-kun only! If you want to get into the secret, you have to do a test of courage!" Kyo groaned irritated "A test of courage? Are you nine years old?! Oi!" He called when he saw Shigure taking Tohru in another piece. The girl bowed and apologized telling that she needed to talk to Shigure in private.
They walked in the hallway, near of his bedroom. They stood a moment like that, Shigure crossed his arms and Tohru searched her words. "I…It's um…As you know, I'm a maid at the main house and" she started and Shigure rested his back against the wall. "I've met Akito-san yesterday, we talked a lot." She continued. "She is forced to stay in her house so she won't meet you anymore…" she explained and she looked like she was near of tears. Shigure looked at her and smiled gently, patting her head "Hey Tohru-kun, why are you crying?"
"It's just that…It's unfair, because Akito-san and Shigure-san really does love each other and…You can't meet anymore…It's…" she tried to blink her tears away. "It's so sad! And Unfair!" She bowed her head. "She really misses Shigure-san…" she sounded like she wanted to say more but decided against it.
He looked away, his eyes staring at the wall in front of him. He put his hand under his chin and hummed. "Thank you Tohru-kun, it must have been hard huh?" he said in unhabitual genuine kindness. "Keeping it for yourself, it's dangerous isn't it? If Ren were to know, it would end badly. Not only for you, Akito or me, but also to Kyo-kun or Yuki-kun." Tohru nodded.
"Maybe…But I felt I needed to do something…Since Shigure-san and Akito-san won't ever meet again…it's so sad." She couldn't hold back her tears anymore and Shigure hushed her like a father would do. "Tohru-kun, what tell you that I won't see her again?" he asked and Tohru was confused. "But…Madam Ren…"
"Ah! I won't let Ren be between me and Akito, my little star!" He said, winking, his playful act back. "I'm a writer, I live to nourish this flame of passion that is love!" he laughed and Tohru wiped her tears off. "Really?! I'm so glad! If I can be useful to you in any way, please tell me!" she said in enthusiasm and Shigure eyes narrowed, a plan suddenly blooming in his mind, like a flower on the path.
"Actually Tohru-kun…I think I may have something to ask you."
Ukigumo or, as translated in english, the drifting cloud, is a classical novel written by Futabatei Shimei, it is considered as one of the first novel written in modern japanese.