Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem Awakening, all rights to the owners.
I know this is breaking my usual pattern, but I thought up this idea and just had to do it. A quick little thing.
"No!" Chrom gasps as Robin grabs the fire emblem from his numbing hands. "You… this was supposed to work…"
"Ah, what a shame!" The boy smiles. Red eyes crinkle in amusement and the purple flames around him flicker in response to that emotion. "My, or should I say Robin's little plan failed! Ho-hum! Ha ha!"
Rob- no, Grima twirls the shield in his hands as he walks away from the various struggling Shepherds. Some are engaged in combat, some are wounded and falling back, and some are like Chrom struggling on the floor after being shot in the chest by lightning.
"Say though, I'm a fan of this vessel." Grima chuckles as he steps up onto the dais at the back of the room and sits on it. "Such a fascinating mind… in fact, I think I'll indulge a bit."
He pulls out Robin's guitar and strums it experimentally. A grin crosses his face as he watches Chrom struggles back to a standing position, and he starts to sing.
You say… the price of my rise is not a price that you're willing to pay.
You cry… and scream and rage at my wings as I pass you by!
Why so sad? Remember I accepted this arrangement because you allowed me to stray
Now you're making me mad… Remember, despite determination, you got outplayed~!
Chrom grabs Falchion from where it fell on the floor and staggers away from the avatar, shouting for a retreat. Grima laughs and raises his voice.
You'll be back, soon you'll see.
You'll remember you stand no chance with me!
You'll be back, time will tell.
Naga's pawns always serve her well!
His eyes rise to the roof, gazing out a skylight to the sky.
Empires rise, dragons fall!
We have fought each other through it all
Though when push comes to shove
She sends a band of holy warriors to remind me of her 'love'!
Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da
Da da dat dat da ya da!
The Shepherds flee the Plegian Royal Palace as Grima sings behind them. His cheerful voice makes the situation all the more haunting; he sounds like a madman rather than Robin's mere childishness.
###
The most insulting part of trying to fight Grima is the songs he sings at them as they try, and fail, to catch him. The Shepherds can be in a dead sprint after the monster and he'll skip along ahead of them, looking more like a minstrel than a world-killing dragon, playing that infernal guitar of his as Risen swarm them.
This particular song is childish to Chrom's ears, not to mention macabre. Grima sings it with unbridled glee, similarly to how Robin used to when making songs dedicated to mocking the other Shepherds. With guitar in hand and a Risen dark knight with arcfire by his side, he cheerfully belts out a song over the roars of battle.
I'm out in front, I've got the speed!
I love it when I make em' bleed!
They gotta go go go go go, they gotta gogogo,
They can't die fast if they burn too slow!
They gotta go go go go go!
The avatar strums out some transitionary music as the dark knight by his side slings arcfire at the Shepherds. Libra blocks the attacks with too much issue, having a high resistance to magic, but that's one more problem they have to deal with.
Grima's eyes focus on Chrom as he moves into the next verse of the song.
Chrom's not in front he's close behind,
He'd turn back if he had half a mind!
He's gotta go go go go go, he's gotta gogogo,
He can't die fast if he wears out too slow!
He's gotta go go go go go!
The avatar winks at the prince, as if they're playing some sort of game and the verse wasn't a death threat. The gesture is so similar to Robin it hurts, and it makes Chrom all the more furious. Bad enough Grima has stolen his friend's face, but he's also aping the man's mannerisms.
Freddy's in the back he's in the rear,
He won't give up so I'll teach him fear!
He's gotta go go go go go, he's gotta gogogo,
He can't die fast if he's plain too slow!
He's gotta go go go go go!
The accordion noise coming out of Rob- Grima's magical guitar taunts them all the way up until Grima leaves the battlefield. He casually steps up onto the back of a Risen falcon knight, waves cheerily, and flies well out of reach of the Shepherds.
###
Grima is having a grand old time by his standards. You know, the usual: killing humans, raising their dead bodies to fight their loved ones. A real party! Grima can't help but sing! He needs something catchy… aha!
Swish slash. I was doin' some math,
Countin' down all of my foes!
Run gun, just killin' everyone,
Making everything alright!
Grima sings with abandon. He's stopped playing the guitar with his hands for a while now so he can actually fight. Instead the guitar levitates behind him, and he plays the music remotely with magic.
Noticing a commotion off to the side, Grima strolls off in that direction while twirling his sword like one would a baton.
Well I step by a Risen, set my feet on a corpse
I pull my guitar and I head for the war, cuz-
Swish slash! Forget about the math,
I can see out in the field there's a party goin' on!
I was a swishin' and and a slashin'!
Sweepin' and a beatin'!
Cruisin' and a bruisin'!
Rollin' and a boltin'! Yeah!
Imagine his delight when he sees familiar faces there! Such a treat! Why, Naga must be in an especially foul mood today, hmm?
Well hot dang, I see the old gang,
Marching out through my front lines!
Pop flop, they was makin' em drop,
All my troops go down in the mud!
There was a- Miriel and ol' Freddy too
Well howdy that's Nowi, and Chrom's even here too!
Swish slash, forget about the math,
I gotta go grab my thoron!
He doesn't actually have to leave, he just pulls the tome out of his coat and starts blasting. It makes for a good song though, in his opinion.
Maybe he should keep the Shepherds alive just for the song inspiration. He never thought his vessel's pastime would be so amusing!
The songs parodied are "You'll be Back" from the Hamilton musical, "Go Go Go" from the Backyardagains, and "Splish Splash" by Bobby Darin. Yes, I did choose the least serious songs I could think of to parody just to be ridiculous.
Bakururu: It's fine, don't worry. Get some sleep.