Chapter 38

Hello all! This is NOT the last chapter.

Temurin stands by the bedroom window with his back facing Azula.

"Unless I give Fengxia information about Crooked Zhao and Mila, the United Republic will sentence Jirou to death," he says bitterly.

Azula stays silent. She knows what's coming. Her heart feels fragile: a cup dropped, shattered, and repaired so many times it's a spiderweb of cracks and glue. Can she survive another heartbreak? She touches the bandages concealing her head wound.

"I have to turn myself in," Temurin says. "If I tell Fengxia everything I know about Crooked Zhao—where Mila and Yu-chen's brothel is, who else they employ, how Zhao runs her supply chain—then maybe Fengxia will let Jirou go.

"But I need your help, Azula. Last time I tried to negotiate a deal, I ended up being beaten in an alley."

Azula laughs despite herself. How dare Temurin make her laugh at a time like this. Temurin smiles with her, and Azula feels the glue in her heart begin to loosen. What if she loses him?

Temurin tentatively reaches out and takes her hand.

"I know you probably think I'm being stupid and sentimental, Azula, but this is something I have to do. I have to save Jirou. And frankly…I'm guilty. Not of rebellion. But who knows how many people I've hurt?"

"I understand," Azula says. Shouldn't she be angry? She grips Temurin's hand, hard. His skin is warm, dark, and smooth. Somehow, just touching him is comforting.

"You do?"

"Yes," Azula says simply. Even a week ago, she wouldn't have. But now…

"You have to set things right," Azula explains. "This isn't just about Jirou. You want to turn yourself in, serve your time. Make up for what you've done." Even though it hurts. Even though it's not fair.

"I…yes." Temurin looks shocked.

"Write down everything you know about Crooked Zhao, just to get your thoughts straight," Azula instructs. She grins grimly. "Then burn it. And sell the information to get yourself and Jirou the lightest sentences possible."

"I will. Fengxia seems tough, but not unreasonable."

"Wait. Fengxia?" The name is familiar to Azula, a faint echo seeping through haze of the past six months. Fengxia…from Yu Dao…

"She's younger than I am. Bright red lipstick, Colonial attire. And about six months pregnant. Do you know her?" Temurin asks.

It clicks.

Azula sits at the back of Zuko's wedding reception, disguised as an ancient Fire Nation matriarch. Happy couples stumble across the dance floor; Zuko and Mai have long since left. The Water Tribe boy leads a small troupe of eager followers through the motions of some savage dance. By far the most striking pair on the dancefloor is that bastard, Akira, and a noble-looking woman from Yu Dao. Fengxia. Azula's half-brother leans in and whispers in his dance partner's ear. Azula narrows her eyes. What is Akira planning? But then Fengxia smiles slyly, and they both head off for the palace. Azula rolls her eyes. Nothing of import happening tonight…

"Azula?"

"You said she's pregnant," Azula says, mind racing. Perhaps there's a way out of this. They could use Azula's knowledge to blackmail Fengxia, get her to give Temurin and Jirou a more lenient sentence. Zuko would probably adopt his half-brother's spawn, but Fengxia need not know that; for all the Yu Dao representative knows, Zuko would kill Fengxia to prevent the birth of another royal heir. All Azula has to do is threaten to reveal the father of Fengxia's child, and Temurin and Jirou will walk free.

It appears the spirits have given Azula and Temurin an out. Azula's lips curve into a wicked smile. This will be even easier than when she manipulated the head of the Dai Li in Ba Sing Se.

"Azula, what are you thinking about?" Temurin asks impatiently. "Do you know Fengxia?"

Azula smiles broadly. She looks into his eyes and opens her mouth to tell him the good news. Temurin's face is trusting, if a bit irritated by her long silence. He came to her for advice.

Temurin is trying to be a better person, and he trusts her to help him.

Suddenly, Azula is overwhelmed with shame. She closes her eyes. Blackmail? Threats and lies?

That was the old Azula.

"There is a way I can get you both off free," Azula says without looking at Temurin. A tear escapes from the corner of her eye. "But it's dishonorable. Maybe even cruel."

There's a long pause. Then Temurin pulls her into an embrace.

"Then don't tell me," he whispers. "Don't tell me."

Azula clutches Temurin tightly, pressing her face into his neck.

"I'm so sorry, Azula," Temurin chokes. "I know it's not fair, when we just…when we only now realized…"

"I could come with you," Azula says, pulling away. "They'll probably take you to Yu Dao. I could find a job in the city, and-"

Temurin shakes his head. "Azula. You need time to rest. And once you have…you shouldn't waste your life waiting for me to atone for my mistakes. I could be imprisoned for a decade or more. You're so young. Be happy. Do something good."

Azula trembles. Do something good? Doesn't he understand that it's only when she's around her friends that she even feels the urge to try? She can't do this alone.

"You won't be alone," Temurin says as if he can hear her thoughts. "If you stay here, you have Wakaba. My mother. Even Jinlian is less prickly these days.

"Or you could return to the Fire Nation. You've changed. You're not a danger to your brother anymore."

"Are you telling me…not to wait for you?" Azula asks slowly.

Temurin doesn't say anything, but she can read it in his eyes.

"I promise we'll see each other again," Temurin promises. His voice cracks. "But I can't ask you to wait for me, I'm sorry, but you can't…"

Azula kisses him. His lips are salty, whether from his tears or hers she doesn't know. Why is it that every time she chooses the honorable path it means leaving someone she loves? Temurin's mouth is desperate, both of them are crying, it's as if Azula can taste Temurin's very soul.

"I'm sorry," Temurin whispers again and again. He hugs her to him like she's the most precious thing in the world, like if he lets go she'll float away. How is it possible that he cares this much? But they have to let go.

"Fine. I won't wait for you," Azula promises. At that, Temurin holds her even more fiercely.

But Azula knows her promise is a lie.

Azula and Wakaba stand next to Hegane, necks inclined upward as the grey United Republic airship slowly rises into the air. Azula bites her lip as she envisions Temurin and Jirou locked in a dark hold. She made the right choice in choosing not to blackmail Fengxia. Didn't she?

"It's only three years," Wakaba says. Then she winces at her insensitivity. "Sorry."

Azula's cracked heart trembles.

"No, you're right," Azula says. "A lot can happen in three years."

"Frankly, a United Republic military labor camp is better than my son deserves," Hegane spits. Azula and Wakaba look at their mayor sidelong. They know she is only speaking out of the pain of betrayal.

"What will you do, Nekana?" Wakaba asks.

It's a good question. Everyone Azula was traveling with is gone. Altan is dead, his grave only a few meters away from where they stand now; the guilty unreality of his death still makes her knees weak. Temurin and Jirou will be laboring in Yu Dao under the close watch of the United Republic army.

When Azula fled the Fire Nation, she was only looking for a place to disappear. But now she's looking for a place to live.

Do something good.

Qima is as good a place as any.

"I'll stay here," Azula decides. She pulls out the farming catalogue. A paper map of the Qima River sticks out of the notebook.

"Wakaba, I have an idea. And I'm going to need your help."