Now for our feature presentation, Return of the Jedi.
A long time ago, in the rise of the Empire...
Music: Yes, again!
RETURN OF THE JEDI...
Luke had just realized that Vader was his father. A year has passed since his duel with Vader. Now Han Solo has been frozen in carbonite, Luke lost his hand, and the Empire is on the rise. Now they have to rescue Han and Luke must complete his training with Yoda.
Also on a side note, Dash Arar, Cal Kestis, and BD-1 are on the run from the Empire. Cal had trained alongside with Dash and became a Jedi Knight even though that Dash is not a master. 5 years have passed for them since their escape from Second Sister. Since Dash did not name his ship yet, BD called the ship "First Order". Yes, she gave the ship the name of the main villainous faction in Episodes 7-9.
Another note, Peter has been attacked by an assassin and is now recovering. Let's move back to Star Wars...
We open with a flashback of Cal's (Peter) training with his Jedi Master Jaro Tapal (Luci).
"You're getting good, Cal," Jaro said.
"I wonder how this whole Jedi thing started," Cal asked.
"Okay, it started like this..."
We open to a flashback within a flashback. Thousands of years before the Clone Wars, the first Jedi arose. One of them was named Ajunta Pall (Callum). Pall started training as a Padawan, then Knight, and finally, Master. Pall then studied the ways of alchemy. Through his studies, Pall discovered the secret of creating life. Fearful of this power, the Jedi Council barred this power to Pall and his followers.
Angered by this, Pall and his followers declared war on the council where they slewed hundreds of Jedi. They were defeated nonetheless. Pall and his followers were stripped from their ranks and exiled into space.
While searching for a planet to live on, Pall and his followers landed on the desert planet Korriban in the Outer Rim. The exiles discovered a Force-sensitive species known as the Sith. The Sith were eventually loyal to exiles, but their king was betrayed by Pall. But that was just nothing. The Sith were amazed by the exiles' ships and technology and worshipped Pall and his followers as gods. The followers of the exiles referred to Pall as their "Jen'Ari," meaning Dark Lord.
As the first Dark Lord of the Sith, Pall would eventually build his empire on Korriban, with the Sith as his followers. They took over the ice planet Ziost and named it their new capital, which would eventually become Pall's home. He served the Empire for many decades before he died and his body was eventually buried in an unknown location. But even after death, his empire lived on.
"Wow, I never thought that the Empire could all be started by one rogue Jedi," Cal said.
Suddenly, stormtroopers appeared and started attacking the village.
"Run!" Cal shouted.
"To the escape pod!" Jaro said.
Both of them made their way to the escape pod while the Stormtroopers slaughtered every single villager.
"There's only room for one of us!" Cal said.
"You go!" Jaro said, shoving Cal in and locking the door.
"NO!" Cal screamed as he was blasted off.
"Goodbye, student..." Jaro said as he was shot by the Stormtroopers.
"We got everyone." A Stormtrooper said on his radio.
"Excellent." A voice said, sounding a lot like Palpatine.
Present-day. A year after Episode 5.
We open on a planet in Tatooine, near Jabba the Hut's palace. C-3PO (Jimmy) and R2-D2 (Timmy) had arrived there to free Han Solo.
"Uh, yeah? We-re h-h-here to find Jabba the Hut." C-3PO said.
"Come on in." A robotic voice said.
C-3PO and R2 went in. Jabba the Hut (Sally Strutters) was being fed with Snacky S'mores. Boba Fett (Clyde) was standing right next to her. Jabba was an overweight brown slug-like monster who had slave girls with her (random
"Wait, that's Jabba the Hut?" C-3PO said. "Just play the message R2."
R2 played the message. An image of Luke Skywalker (Kyle) appeared in front of Jabba the Hutt.
"Greetings, Jabba. I ask you to free Han Solo and in return, I will give you the two droids." Luke said in the message.
"What? Luke sold us out?" C-3PO angrily said.
"There will be no bargain," Jabba said in perfect English.
"Wait, wasn't Jabba the Hut supposed to be gibberish?" A slave girl (Nichole) said.
"Shut up!" Jabba said.
Later, while everyone was sleeping, Leia (Wendy) snuck inside Jabba's palace and went up to the carbonite that contained Han Solo (Stan). She pressed a couple of buttons on the control panel next to it and the next thing that Leia knew, Han was freed!
"Wha-?" Han gasped. "Who... saved me?"
"Someone who loves you," Leia said.
Both of them kissed each other, while a disgusted Cal watched from a distance.
"You're being idiotic here," Cal said to himself.
Cal, Dash (Newton), and BD-1 (Karin) have all arrived here on their own. Meanwhile, laughing can be heard. It was Jabba the Hut.
"It was a setup!" Han said.
Han was then thrown into a cell door along with Chewie (Kenny).
"So you're here too?" Han said.
(Yep.) Chewie said.
Meanwhile, the Star Destroyer was visited by the Empire. Palpatine (Connelly) walked alongside with Vader (Cartman) while the Stormtroopers watched. The Death Star II was being built outside.
"So Vader, how's the Death Star II going?" Palpatine said.
"It's going well," Vader said.
"Perfect, we will be unstoppable!" Palpatine laughed.
Luke showed up in Jabba's palace to free his friends but was caught and placed in a Rancor (Manbearpig) pit. Meanwhile, Leia was put in a gold bikini, signifying her slavery.
"Great, now I look like a waifu," Leia said to herself.
The rancor showed up to kill Luke, Luke discovered a metal gate above the rancor and pushed the button next to it. The gate collapsed, killing the rancor.
While surviving the rancor fight, Jabba sentenced Luke, Han, and Chewie to death while Leia, C-3PO, and R2 watched. Lando Calrissian (Token) arrived disguised as a guard while Cal and his friends set up a plan. They had arrived at the Sarlacc (Shub Niggrath) pit, where the group will be executed.
"Victims of the all-mighty Sarlacc!" C-3PO announced over the intercom. "His excellency hopes that you would die honorably. But should any of you beg for mercy, do it now!"
"Release us, or die!" Luke shouted as he was forced to walk to the plank.
Everyone laughed, but Luke has his plan set. He nodded to R2, who set up his lightsaber ready.
"Put him in," Jabba said.
Luke walked over the plank, only to grab onto the edge while R2 launched his saber. Luke was ready to catch it, but someone knocked him out of the way.
"Ha Ha Ha." Jabba laughed. "You thought it was easy didn't you?"
"Heads up!" A voice said.
But another lightsaber flew into the air, Luke acted quickly this time and caught it. He took out the guards, knocking one of them into the Sarlacc pit with a Wilhelm scream. The guards tried shooting at them from across, but Cal and his team took out the guards. Luke freed Han and Chewie from their bindings and saw Boba Fett heading towards them. He jumped over another group of guards who were also shooting at them. Boba Fett was knocked down by Chewie into the Sarlacc pit while Lando almost fell in if it weren't for the help of Han. Leia wrapped her chains around Jabba and choked the latter to death. Dash cut the bindings of all the slave workers including Leia.
"Uh, thanks?" Leia said to a Jedi she didn't know.
"Come on!" Dash said.
The group alongside the slave workers set fire onto the ship. They managed to escape and rendezvous with the Rebel Alliance.
"Just, who are you?" Han said onboard his Millennium Falcon.
"I'm Dash," Dash said on his ship, First Order. "And these are my friends, Cal and BD-1."
"Well, it was nice that you saved us," Leia said. "We're going to meet with the other rebels, want to join?"
"I got nothing better to do," Dash said.
Meanwhile, Luke and R2 made their way back to Dagobah to complete Luke's training.
"Master Yoda?" Luke asked seeing Yoda (Butters) on his bed.
"I'm dying," Yoda said.
"But I need to complete my training."
"You need to confront Vader."
"But is Vader my father?"
"Yes, he is your father, dumbass. And there's another Skywalker too. Now let me die." Yoda said as he disappeared.
"No, Yoda!" Luke said.
Luke made his way back to his X-Wing.
"I can't believe Master Yoda's dead." He said.
"Yoda..." A voice said.
The Force Ghost of Obi-Wan (Garrison) showed up.
"Obi-Wan! Why didn't you tell me that Vader was my father?" Luke said.
"Because you would be overwhelmed by the dark side..."
"Obi-Wan, Yoda said that there is another Skywalker in my family."
"There is Luke, you have a sister. Leia Organa."
"Wait, Leia is my sister?"
"Duh, why do you two look alike but are only different in gender?"
Meanwhile, the rebels all gathered in their base.
"Okay, here's what I got," Cal said. "The Empire has set up another Death Star with the Emperor overseeing its construction. Luckily, it's not operational. But this Death Star has a protective shield around it. Han will lead a strike team on Endor to destroy the generator there while Lando will lead a squadron of starfighters to attack the Death Star."
"Got it." Everyone said.
"The rebels are coming, Emperor," Vader said.
"Let them come, and soon, Skywalker will be ours!" Palpatine said.
Unknown to Vader, Palpatine expected to replace Vader with Luke.
"Hey, Leia?" Luke said while on the Falcon.
"Hmm?"
"I am your brother," Luke said.
"No... that's not true... THAT'S IMPOSSI-" Leia gasped.
"Are we going to repeat that scene?" Cal said.
"Look!" Han said.
The Death Star II was nearing completion.
"I can sense Vader on it," Luke said.
"Come on, everyone. Let's just head to Endor." Cal said.
As the group made their way to the shield generator on Endor, two Imperial troopers were patrolling the area.
"Let me take care of them," Han said.
Han and Chewie snuck up to the guards. Chewie knocked one out, while Han snuck up to another guard.
SNAP! Han stepped onto a stick. The trooper didn't hear him.
POP! Han stepped on some bubble wrap. The trooper still didn't hear him.
HONK! HONK! Okay, is the Stormtrooper deaf? Han stepped onto a bicycle horn right behind him.
Click! Han stepped on a boombox. Now the trooper heard him. He escaped on his land speeder. The rebels followed the other troopers. Han took out his blaster and managed to shoot the troopers before reporting to the others. But it came at a cost.
CRASH!
"Eyes on the road, man!" Luke said.
Han made his way back to the rebels, injured.
"Oh man..." He gasped. "Hey, where's Leia?"
"What?" Luke said, looking behind him. Leia was gone.
"Don't tell me that you couldn't keep an eye on a princess for more than two seconds," Han said.
"Do not!"
"Let's just go look for her," Cal said.
"Leia! Where are you?" Han called.
"Guys..." Cal said.
A net ensnared them.
"Gah! Let us out!" Luke said.
"Look!" Han said.
A group of tribal people (Yamagampa) arrived with spears.
"Uh oh," Cal said.
But then, they lowered their spears.
"W-What?" Luke said.
"The gold robot..." One of them said.
"C-3PO?" Han said.
The tribe members cut them free and worshipped C-3PO as a god.
"Gold Kind... Gold Kind..."
"Hey! Can you t-t-take us to Leia?" C-3PO said.
"This is not what I had in mind," Cal said.
Everyone but C-3PO was tied to a stake and was sent to be cooked.
"C-3PO, do something!" Luke said.
C-3PO convinced the tribe members to be let go.
"Luke!" A voice said.
It was Leia.
"The Ewoks are peace members! They don't want to fight us!" Leia said.
"Yeah, but they want to cook us," Cal said.
Later that night...
Leia walked up to Luke.
"Luke?"
"Yeah?"
"Am I your sister?"
"Yes. And Vader is our father." Luke said.
"But if Vader is our father, then who is our mother?" Leia said.
"I don't know. I hope you know." Luke said.
"I don't know about my mother either."
"I need to confront Vader."
Luke left the village.
"Wait, Luke! Luke!" Leia said.
Han stopped her.
"We can't go after him. He needs to do this on his own."
Luke had surrendered to the Imperial troops and was brought up to Vader on the Death Star.
"Hey, Father," Luke said.
"Hey, son," Vader said.
"Let's take him to Emperor." An Imperial trooper said.
"Can I say something?" Luke said.
"Sure, go ahead." Another Imperial trooper said.
"There's good in you. Come with me, you're not all bad."
But this didn't do anything. Luke was brought up to the Emperor.
"I've been waiting, Luke," Palpatine said wickedly.
Meanwhile, on Endor, the group made their way to the shield generator with the help of the Ewoks, they were able to take out the Imperial troopers guarding the area.
"I'm going in!" Cal said heading into the bunker.
"Cal!" Everyone panicked.
Cal took out all of the troopers in the bunker. He eventually arrived at the main room and took out all of the workers there too.
"Okay, this is the main computer for the shields!" Cal said.
Cal pushed the self-destruct button.
"SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE ACTIVATED. THIS SEQUENCE MAY NOT BE ABORTED."
Cal made his way to the exit.
"Hey, Cal..." BD said.
"What?"
"If we ever get out of this... I LOVE YOU!"
"What did you say?!" Cal said. "I got sidetracked!"
Cal made his way outside just as the bunker blew up.
"Hooray!" cried the rebels.
Meanwhile, the rebels were moving in on the Death Star. Lando, Dash, Admiral Ackbar, and several other resistance fighters were ready to strike.
"Let's go!" Lando said.
The group made their way to the Death Star, but...
"IT'S A TRAP!" Ackbar yelled.
Tie-Fighters appeared out of nowhere and started shooting at the rebels. To make matters worse, the shield on the Death Star was put back up again.
"Death Star II is still operational," Palpatine said, activating it.
The beam of the Death Star II was more powerful too. It took out a whole Rebel Starship in one strike.
"Give in to your anger," Palpatine said to Luke.
Luke took out his lightsaber and charged for Palpatine, but Vader blocked him with his lightsaber. The two dueled each other while Palpatine watched.
"A little help here?" Lando said.
Dash steered his ship, taking out several Tie-Fighters chasing Lando.
"Thanks, buddy." He said.
"Come on!" Dash said, moving his ship to the Star Destroyer.
The rebels took out the Star Destroyer's blasters and eventually its reactor core. The Star Destroyer blew up as they escaped.
"Woohoo!" Lando cheered.
"Now let's take care of the rest of the fleet," Dash said.
Luke dueled with Vader until he managed to sever Vader's right hand off.
"Excellent Luke. Kill him now, and join us." Palpatine said.
Luke tossed away his lightsaber.
"Never. I'll never turn to the dark side."
"Then, you will be destroyed!" Palpatine said, shooting lightning from his hands.
Luke screamed in pain.
"Father! Please!" Luke pleaded to Vader.
Vader looked at Luke, then turned to Palpatine. He then grabbed Palpatine and threw him over the edge. Palpatine screamed as he fell to his death. Luke got up as Vader fell.
"Father!" Luke said.
Luke took Vader onto an Imperial ship.
"Luke, take this mask off me..." Vader said.
"..."
"So you can look into my eyes."
Luke slowly removed his mask, revealing Anakin's burned skin.
"Tell your sister... I'm sorry..."
"No... I'll help you!" Luke said.
"You already have..."
And with that, Vader died in his son's arms. Luke took his body onto the Imperial ship. He flew the ship to rejoin the others who were heading on their way to Endor.
"All right! We did it! We won!" Lando said.
On Endor, the Ewoks and rebels all cheered at the sight of the Death Star II blowing up. BD though it would a good time to-
"Uh? What are you doing?" Cal asked.
"Oh! I thought it was nice." BD giggled.
"No, that's creeping me out."
But Leia and Han Solo were hitting it off.
"Dude..." Cal said, looking at them.
That night...
Everyone celebrated across the galaxy with the fall of the Empire. Luke burned the body of Anakin Skywalker. The Ewoks and the Rebels had their party.
"Fist bump?" Dash said.
"Fist bump," Cal said, giving him one.
The two joined the others who were dancing with the Ewoks. Luke looks up to see the spirits of Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Anakin watching down on him.
"And that was Return of the Jedi," Newton said.
"Wow, that was great!" Unikitty said. "And very long too. We had over 6,000 words in this!"
"But Peter..." Stan said
Peter still hasn't woken up.
"I don't think he'll be alright," Newton said sadly.
A nurse walked in.
"All right, time to go." She said.
Everyone left quietly as the nurse turned off the light.
THE END?
You might think this is the end, but we have one more chapter waiting!